Women with ovarian cancer joined Julie Larson, LCSW and peers via video or phone to discuss "Coping With the Holidays & COVID-19."

1. C A R I N G F O R Y O U R S E L F
S T A Y I N G E N G A G E D
N A V I G A T I N G T H E H O L I D A Y S E A S O N
J U L I E L A R S O N , L C S W
Coping with the Holidays

2. The Holiday Picture
• Shopping
• Decorating
• Baking
• Holiday
Cards
• Family
Gatherings
• Joyful
• Perfectly
Chosen
• Festive
• Family
• Magical

3. What is difficult for YOU?
Holiday stress is a vague way of labeling the dread,
exhaustion or experience of being overwhelmed
during this time of year.
Get specific. The better you identify what is hard for
you each year (or this year) the better you will be at
addressing those issues directly.
Conversely, what do you look forward to or hope for
the holiday season? Be specific.

4. Common holiday stressors
 Uncomfortable family gatherings
 Unhappy memories
 What has changed in your life since last year
 What has not changed in your life since last year
 Relentless pace + cold/flu season + less self care

5. The 2020 Covid-19 lens
 Start planning (or thinking about) your options for
connecting with others now.
 Know the risk factors that contribute to virus spread at
small in-home gatherings:
 Community levels of Covid 19
 Travel exposure
 Location (inside a small space vs. outdoors vs. a large space)
 Continually talk with others about the possibility of
change. Stay flexible.
 CDC guidelines on celebrating the holidays includes a
break down of low, moderate and high risk activities.

6. The Holidays and Cancer
Demands of the
holidays
• Connection
• Energy
• Meaning
making
• Gratitude
Consequences
of cancer
• Isolation
• Fatigue
• Uncertainty
• Loss

7. Cancelled or Opting Out
 When traditional gatherings are cancelled or you decide
to opt out, it is normal to feel a mix of emotions:
 Relief, sadness, frustration, left out, worry
 Be honest and work to name what feelings come up for
you. What needs are left unmet
 Others are reacting to these changes as well.
Acknowledging their honest reactions is important too.
 Ignoring emotions does not equal controlling them.
 Admitting hard feelings leads to accepting the differences
and the possibility of finding meaningful ways of
celebrating this year.

8. Setting Intentions
 Intentions are different than goals
 Where we connect with our values
 Who we want to be (our best selves)
 HOW we show up in the world

9. Do. Diminish. Delete.
Trigger phrase = “I should” or “We must”
STOP! Ask, “Why?”
 DO what makes you excited, content or brings joy.
 DIMINISH (simplify) by delegating responsibility or taking short
cuts.
 DELETE events or tasks which you no longer connect with and
therefore feel burdensome.
Give yourself permission to have a different type of holiday.
Be open to surprises!

10. Taking back control
Put your stress response to work! Get to know your stress
signs then use them as real time reminder to plug in a
self care moment.
 Bite-size self care:
 Take long, slow breaths – slows heart rate & lowers blood pressure.
 Float above yourself and watch to gain perspective.
 Be present. Tune into your five senses in this moment.
 Reach out and connect with others.
 Laugh – lowers cortisol and boosts endorphines.
 Drink water.
 Put yourself to bed.
 Play music! Soothing to lower anxiety or upbeat to energize

11. Where do you find YOUR Holiday magic?
 Prioritize the holiday traditions you await each year.
 Food. Share favorite recipes or exchange dishes in a safe way.
 Religion. Find faith gatherings online or talk about the significance of
each holiday with others.
 Tradition. Gather pictures of past years or start something new.
 Connection is important. What options do you have?
 Support groups
 Walks in the neighborhood
 Virtual meet ups with family
 Know your limits. Time of day? Length of visit? Frequency?
 Dependable and consistent connection points
 Allow trusted others to sit alongside you in emotional
moments (vulnerability  connection)
 Be honest. Don’t stop the holiday. Stop “the show”.
 Is this part of “us” or part of “the show”?

12. Do you have to set a place for Cancer at the table?
Yes.
Prepare in advance for how cancer may interrupt your
holiday. This includes reminding yourself you will
face unexpected situations when they arise one step
at a time.
 Stock up on any necessary supplies or medicine.
 Pack diagnosis, treatment plan and medical team contacts when you
leave home in case you need it while out of town
 Clarify any changes to the way you contact your medical team during
the holidays.
 Talk with your medical team about your travel plans
 Maintain consistent sleep/eating schedule
 Stress resilient vs. stress vulnerable

13. Do you have to set a place for Cancer at the table?
No.
Prepare in advance for how cancer may interrupt your
holiday. This includes reminding yourself you will
face unexpected situations when they arise one step
at a time.
 Create a scripted response for when family & friends ask about
cancer at a time when you do not want to talk.
 Keep a trusted family member or friend near when you are in
challenging groups to help navigate the interaction.
 Use humor to diffuse intense emotional moments.
 You are more than your cancer dx. Take the “You Inventory”.

14. Your Holiday. Your Family. You!
Consider you.
Use the answers you discover about what defines a
meaningful holiday for you to make choices.
Those answers and choices will be different for each person
and each moment. Perhaps different for this year
compared to years in the past or yet to come.
Say “no” to the perfectly wonderful ideas that do not really
mean much to you, so you can say “yes” to the
imperfectly wonderful moments that do. Amanda Morgan