Select one of the following personality disorders; borderline, ant.docx

Select one of the following personality disorders; borderline,
antisocial, or narcisistic personality disorder SEE ATTACHED
NOTES
Use the Research Analysis to complete this assignment.
Prepare at least 1,100 word paper that discusses research-based
interventions to treat psychopathology.
Review the characteristics of the selected disorder and discuss
the research about intervention strategies for the disorder by
completing the following:
* Evaluate three peer-reviewed research studies using the
University of Phoenix Material: Research Analysis.
* Conceptualize the disorder using the DSM-5, diathesis stress
or biopsychosocial model. ( link to explain these models
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diathesis%E2%80%93stress_mode
l)
* Discuss the treatments or interventions that have been shown
to be the most effective for your selected disorder.
Cite at least five peer-reviewed sources.
TRANSCRIPT of Video
Video Link
http://fod.infobase.com/p_ViewVideo.aspx?xtid=41359
Cite Information: Should I live, should I die? Understanding
borderline personality disorder [Video file]. (2004). Retrieved
November 19, 2016, from
http://fod.infobase.com/PortalPlaylists.aspx?wID=18566&xtid=
41359
>> Narrator: RACHAEL KAVANAGH IS PREPARING FOR
AN EVENT SHE NEVER DREAMED WOULD HAPPEN. ON
SATURDAY SHE'S GETTING MARRIED. IT'S BEEN A
DIFFICULT ADJUSTMENT BECAUSE SHE HAD

SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND.
>> THE PLAN WAS TO BE DEAD BY THIRTY. I GAVE
MYSELF NO MORE TIME THAN THAT. I WAS ENTIRELY
SICK OF DISAPPOINTMENT, I WAS SICK OF LETTING
MYSELF DOWN AND I WAS TIRED OF TRYING TO
IMPRESS OTHER PEOPLE, UNDERSTAND THESE
EMOTIONS. I WAS JUST TIRED AND IT'S SO, IT'S LONELY
HAVING THIS DISORDER. IT'S JUST INCREDIBLY
LONELY.
>> Narrator: SINCE HER TEENS, RACHAEL HAS BEEN
BATTLING WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY
DISORDER, AN EMOTIONAL BEHAVIOR OR PROBLEM
THAT CAN BE SO DIFFICULT TO LIVE WITH LIFE CAN
SEEM LIKE IT SIMPLY ISN'T WORTH LIVING. WHILE
RACHAEL'S PLANS TO BE DEAD BY THIRTY DIDN'T
COME OFF, FOR ANOTHER WOMAN THE PAIN OF LIVING
WITH THE SAME CONDITION PROVED TOO MUCH. ON A
COLD, MID-WINTER NIGHT, JULY 2003, 53 YEAR OLD
MARIA DE SILVA TOOK HER LIFE IN A DRAMATIC AND
SHOCKING WAY IN AOTEA SQUARE.
>> (DISPATCHER): WAITING FOR A REPORT TO COME OF
A PERSON ON FIRE.
>> Narrator: EMERGENCY SERVICES RACED TO SAVE THE
WOMAN WHO SET FIRE TO HERSELF, BUT IT WAS TOO
LATE. THIS IS THE STORY OF TWO WOMEN'S STRUGGLE
WITH A TERRIBLE CHOICE. MARIA DE SILVA WAS A
GIFTED OPERA SINGER, FORMER ATHLETE, AND
TIRELESS CAMPAIGNER FOR GOOD CAUSES. ONE OF
THOSE CAMPAIGNS WAS TO HIGHLIGHT THE
SUFFERING OF THOSE WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY
DISORDER, THE CONDITION THAT LED HER TO TAKE
HER OWN LIFE. THAT'S HOW RACHAEL KAVANAGH
FIRST CAME TO HEAR OF HER.
>> I WAS READING A WOMAN'S WEEKLY AND SAW IN
THE HIDDEN BORD-LINE, AND THAT WAS SHORTLY
AFTER I THINK I'D BEEN DIAGNOSED, AND IT WAS

REALLY QUITE LOVELY TO SEE SOMEBODY TALKING
OPENLY ABOUT THE DISORDER BECAUSE UP UNTIL
THEN I'D REALLY SAID NOTHING ABOUT IT. SO I
CONTACTED HER, AND SHE WAS PRETTY MUCH RIGHT
FROM THE START A WEALTH OF INFORMATION, BUT
SHE MADE ME FEEL QUITE NORMAL FOR A TIME BEING.
>> Narrator: SHARING THEIR EXPERIENCES OF THE
ILLNESS BROUGHT RACHAEL AND MARIA TOGETHER.
THROUGH MARIA, RACHAEL BECAME AWARE OF JUST
HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE HAD THE DISORDER. IT'S
ESTIMATED THAT AROUND THIRTY THOUSAND PEOPLE
IN NEW ZEALAND HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITIES.
>> HELLO, DAVID SPEAKING. OK, OK, SLOW IT DOWN A
LITTLE BIT. SO IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE FEELING
REALLY UPSET AT THE MOMENT. TELL ME WHAT'S
HAPPENED. OK, OK.
>> Narrator: DAVID SEMP IS A PSYCHOLOGIST AT SAINT
LUKES MENTAL HEALTH CENTER IN AUCKLAND. HE
SPECIALIZES IN TREATING PEOPLE WITH THIS
DIAGNOSIS.
>> THE KEY THING WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY
DISORDER IS A PROBLEM WITH EMOTIONS, WITH
EXTREME EMOTIONS, AND MUCH MORE EXTREME
THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON AND WITHIN ANY GIVEN
DAY SOMEONE WITH THIS DISORDER CAN GO FROM
FEELING OK TO SUDDENLY SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN
AND THEY'LL FEEL TERRIBLE, THEY'LL FELL REALLY
ANGRY, OR THEY'LL FEEL REALLY ABANDONED, OR
THEY'LL FEEL REALLY SAD OR LONELY OR HOPELESS,
ANY NUMBER OF THINGS. AND IT CAN BE TRIGGERED
BY MANY, MANY DIFFERENT AREAS OF THEIR LIVES.
BECAUSE THEY RESPOND SO STRONGLY TO IT, THAT
OFTEN MAKES WHATEVER HAPPENED IN THE FIRST
PLACE MUCH WORSE. SO IF IT WAS IN THE CONTEXT OF
A RELATIONSHIP, IS THAT GOING TO FEEL LIKE
THEY'RE ABOUT TO BE ABANDONED, OR THAT

SOMEBODY HATES THEM, WHEN IT FACT THEY'RE JUST
A LITTLE BIT ANNOYED WITH THEM.
>> I SABOTAGED RELATIONSHIPS, FRIENDSHIPS. I
WOULD FIND BOUNDARIES WITHIN RELATIONSHIPS, TO
SAY THAT WERE UNBEARABLY PAINFUL, OF COURSE
WE GET KIND OF SICK OF THAT AND END UP GOING
AWAY FROM YOU, WHICH IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT
YOU WANT.
>> Narrator: RACHAEL HAS BEEN WITH SY FOR OVER
TWO YEARS NOW. AS IT IS FOR OTHERS IN THIS
POSITION, COPING WITH THE DISORDER HAS BEEN A
CHALLENGE FOR THEM BOTH.
>> WE'LL HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND I WOULD JUST
COMPLETELY GO OFF THE DEEP END, AND HE'LL BE
THINKING, WELL, HELL, I JUST CHANGED THE
CHANNEL AT THE WRONG TIME, YOU KNOW, WHERE AS
I'M THINKING HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT I'M LOOKING AT
AND JUST GO THROUGH ALL THOSE, DEALING WITH IT.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE SO AWARE, AWARE YOUR
EMOTIONS ARE SOMERSAULTING TOO.
>> IT'S VERY DISTRESSING TO LIVE LIKE THIS, AND SO
TO DEAL WITH THE DISTRESS OF THESE EXTREMES OF
EMOTION PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY
DISORDER OFTER SELF HARM AS A WAY OF COPING
WITH THAT, SO THEY MIGHT BURN OR THEY MIGHT
CUT.
>> Narrator: RACHAEL HAS BEEN CUTTING HERSELF FOR
FIFTEEN YEARS. NOW SHE HAS OVER TWO HUNDRED
SCARS ON HER BODY.
>> WHEN I WOULD CUT AND THEN BLEED, THE
BLEEDING WAS ALMOST LIKE A FORM OF CRYING. IT
WAS PROVING TO ME THAT I WAS STUPID, I WAS UGLY,
I WAS ALL THOSE THINGS AND THE MARKS WERE
THERE TO KIND OF PROVE THAT POINT, AND SO IT WAS
KIND OF REFLECTING WHAT I FELT ON THE INSIDE AND
PUTTING IT ON THE OUTSIDE.

>> Narrator: WHILE CUTTING WAS RACHAEL'S WAY OF
COPING, MARIA DE SILVA CHOSE ANOTHER WAY. LIKE
MANY OTHERS WITH THIS DISORDER SHE CHOSE
SUICIDE AS A WAY OF EXPRESSING HOW SHE FELT.
>> IT WOULD JUST POP UP IN ORDINARY
CONVERSATION. YOU'D BE TALKING AWAY AND SHE
WOULD SAY "I TOOK A HUNDRED IMOVANE
YESTERDAY, I'M DOING PRETTY WELL", OR TWENTY
IMOVANE OR SHE JUST, IT WAS A PART OF LIFE FOR
HER.
>> Narrator: RACHAEL ALSO THINKS MARIA USED
SUICIDE AS A WAY OF GETTING ATTENTION NOT JUST
FOR HERSELF, BUT ALSO FOR THE DISORDER.
>> MARIA DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT AN AIM,
WITHOUT A PURPOSE. SHE USED HER DEATH, SHE GOT
A LOT OF ATTENTION. SHE GOT A LOT OF ATTENTION
FOR THE DISORDER AND I'M QUITE SURE SHE DID THAT
PURPOSELY, QUITE SURE.
>> Narrator: A REPORT ON BORDERLINE PERSONALITY
DISORDER BY THE MENTAL HEALTH COMMISSION IN
1999 SHOWS THREE TIMES AS MANY WOMEN ARE
DIAGNOSED WITH THE DISORDER AS MEN. IT USUALLY
EMERGES IN ADOLESCENCE OR EARLY ADULTHOOD.
>> I WAS FOURTEEN WHEN I FIRST FIGURED THAT
THERE WAS JUST A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY
REACTIONS AND MY FRIENDS REACTIONS. YEAH,
SOMETHING JUST DIDN'T FIT, I WAS TOO EMOTIONAL
AND I DIDN'T SEEM TO HAVE AS MUCH CONTROL. I
FELT TOO MUCH. I WAS PROBABLY WHAT THEY WOULD
CALL A REALLY SENSITIVE ADOLESCENT.
>> Narrator: IT WAS AROUND THIS TIME SHE FIRST
STARTED TO HARM HERSELF.
>> FIRST TIME I CUT WAS WHEN I WAS FOURTEEN, AND
IT WAS MY FACE, AND AFTER IT I CAN REMEMBER
THINKING GOD, THAT WAS STUPID, BUT ALSO RELIEF,
A CERTAIN RELIEF THAT I HAD NEVER FELT. OF

COURSE AS TIME PROGRESSED I HAD A BAD HABIT,
AND IT BECAME VERY MUCH A COPING MECHANISM,
NOT A GOOD ONE, BUT IT WAS A COPING MECHANISM.
>> Narrator: BY HER TWENTIES, RACHAEL WAS CAUGHT
UP IN A CYCLE OF RITUAL SELF HARM AND ALCOHOL
ABUSE. HER LIFE WAS OUT OF CONTROL AND SHE WAS
HEADING FOR TROUBLE. BORDERLINE PERSONALITY
DISORDER EMERGES IN ADOLESCENCE AND EARLY
ADULTHOOD. BY HER TWENTIES RACHAEL KAVANAGH
WAS SHOWING CLEAR SIGNS OF THE DISORDER.
>> MY EARLY, EARLY TWENTIES I GUESS MY BEHAVIOR
STARTED COMING OUT, UNREASONABLE ARGUMENTS
TOO. THERE WASN'T A TIME REALLY WHEN I WASN'T
DRINKING. SELF IMAGE WAS JUST IN THE TOILET BY
THAT STAGE. IF I SAT IN FRONT OF THE TV AND I
CAUGHT THE REFLECTION OF MYSELF IN THE TV I
WOULD MOVE. YEAH, JUST UTTER SELF HATE. I LEFT A
BAD TASTE IN MY OWN MOUTH.
>> Narrator: DESPITE HER CONFUSED MENTAL STATE
RACHAEL WAS ABLE TO PULL OFF A CONFIDENT
FACADE. SO MUCH SO, AT THE AGE OF TWENTY FIVE
SHE GOT A JOB AS A CASE WORKER AT WORKINGIN
COM NEW ZEALAND.
>> IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE WITH THE DISORDER YOU CAN
OFTEN SEPARATE SELF FROM JOB, AND BE INVOLVED
IN QUITE STRESSFUL POSITIONS AND HOLD THEM
DOWN QUITE NICELY, BUT THEN OF COURSE GO HOME
AND FALL TO BITS.
>> Narrator: BY HER LATE TWENTIES RACHAEL WAS
FINDING IT INCREASINGLY HARD TO COPE WITH HER
ILLNESS. IN 2001 SHE DECIDED SUICIDE WAS THE ONLY
WAY OUT.
>> I TOOK TIME OFF WORK. I DISCONNECTED MY
PHONE, PUT DOG FOOD OUTSIDE SO MY DOG WOULD BE
OK. I BOUGHT ALCOHOL. I HAD STORED MEDICATION,
DOWNED THEM AND WENT TO BED.

>> Narrator: SHE WAS DISCOVERED BY A NEIGHBOR AND
TAKEN TO HOSPITAL. WHEN SHE CAME TO SHE FELT
FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY.
>> DAMN. I'M NOT EVEN GOOD AT THIS. I'M NOT EVEN
GOOD AT KILLING MYSELF. YOU'RE BE KIDDING ME,
YOU KNOW, ALL THAT PLANNING AND I'M STILL HERE,
I'M STILL ALIVE. I THINK I FELT GUILTY FOR BEING
ALIVE.
>> Narrator: LIKE RACHAEL, MARIA DE SILVA WAS ALSO
ABLE TO PROJECT AN OUTWARDLY SUCCESSFUL
PERSONA. AFTER TRAINING IN LONDON SHE TOURED
EUROPE AS AN OPERA SINGER. ?
>> Narrator: THEN, WHILE STUDYING OPERA IN ITALY,
SHE BECAME INVOLVED IN LAUNCHING AN AID
PROGRAM TO HELP BOSNIAN REFUGEES. IT WAS A
HUGE PROJECT THAT DEMANDED ALL HER
COMMITMENT. IN 1995 SHE EVEN APPEARED ON
TELEVISION APPEALING FOR NEW ZEALANDERS TO
HELP OUT IN ANY WAY THEY COULD.
>> I'M SURE THE SUPPORT IS THERE, I'M SURE THAT A
LOT OF NEW ZEALANDERS WOULD LIKE TO DO
SOMETHING AND REALLY ARE SCRATCHING THEIR
HEADS AND WONDERING WHAT THEY CAN DO.
>> Narrator: BUT THE BOSNIAN MISSION PROVED TOO
MUCH. SHE COULDN'T HOLD IT TOGETHER ANY
LONGER. PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY EXHAUSTED,
SHE RETURNED TO NEW ZEALAND. IT WAS THEN THAT
SHE STARTED TO REALIZE SHE WAS SUFFERING FROM
MORE THAN JUST DEPRESSION.
>> MY HEART ACHES, MY SOUL BURNS. I CRAVE
RELEASE. THE PAIN AT TIMES IS SO UNBEARABLE.
WHEN I'M ALONE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS CONSUME ME.
>> Narrator: EVENTUALLY, JUST AS IT HAD BEEN FOR
RACHAEL, SUICIDE SEEMED THE ONLY WAY TO PUT AN
END TO THE CONSTANT MENTAL ANGUISH SHE WAS IN.
IN 1998 MARIA MADE HER FIRST SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

>> I REMEMBER IT QUITE CLEARLY BECAUSE I WAS
WATCHING TV WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN I JUST
COULDN'T STAND THE PAIN ANYMORE. SO I GOT A
BOTTLE OF WHISKEY I'D PUT AWAY AND GATHERED A
BOTTLE OF SLEEPING TABLETS. DAD FOUND ME SIX
HOURS LATER.
>> Narrator: LIKE MARIA, RACHAEL WAS ALSO
STRUGGLING TO COPE. IN BETWEEN BOUTS OF SELF
HARM SHE WAS STILL CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE.
FRIEND AND WORK COLLEAGUE NETA LEILUA
REMEMBERS WHAT A TRAUMATIC TIME IT WAS.
>> I GUESS I COULD ALWAYS GUARANTEE EVERY TIME
RACHAEL WOULD FIND HERSELF IN A HOLE SHE'D END
UP SLITTING HER WRISTS OR DOING SOMETHING. SHE
HAD SO MANY TIMES, I'VE LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY
TIMES.
>> SOMETHING BAD WOULD GENERALLY HAVE TO
HAVE HAPPENED FOR ME TO CUT. WHEN I SAY BIG, A
BIG FALLING OUT IN A RELATIONSHIP, OR ANYTHING
THAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL TRAPPED OR AFRAID.
>> Narrator: BY THIS TIME, RACHAEL WAS ON
MEDICATION FOR DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY. EACH
TIME SHE WAS IN A CRISIS SHE CALLED NETA.
>> I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WILL MAKE SENSE BUT AFTER
A WHILE YOU JUST SWITCH OFF. I GUESS IN THE
BEGINNING IT WAS VERY EMOTIONAL, AND USUALLY
THE EMOTION TURNED INTO ANGER, AND I STARTED
TO GET ANGRY.
>> Narrator: THEN, IN NOVEMBER 2001, RACHAEL CUT
HERSELF SO BADLY NETA DECIDED IT WAS TIME TO
TAKE LEGAL ACTION AND COMMIT RACHAEL AS A
PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT.
>> I WAS VERY NUMB ABOUT IT ALL, SO TO ACTUALLY
SIGN THE PAPERS I SORT OF DIDN'T HAVE ANY
FEELINGS, I JUST WANTED TO DO IT. BUT THE HARDEST
PART FOR ME WAS JUST WAITING AROUND FOR THEM

TO TURN UP. SO RACHAEL WAS RESTING IN THE ROOM
AND WE WERE WATCHING TV AND THAT'S ALL SHE
THOUGHT WAS HAPPENING. SHE WAS REALLY
SHOCKED WHEN THEY DID TURN UP BECAUSE THEY
JUST SORT OF BARGED IN THE HOUSE, WENT AND GOT
HER AND SORT OF GRABBED HER AND WE'RE TAKING
YOU TO HOSPITAL INSTEAD OF THAT SORT OF STUFF.
SO I FELT LIKE I HAD BETRAYED HER, AND THAT IF
ANYTHING WAS PROBABLY THE HARDEST FOR ME.
>> Narrator: TODAY, NETA AND RACHAEL HAVE COME
BACK TO HOSPITAL TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
>> I THINK THE WORST TIME FOR ME WAS ACTUALLY
SEEING THEM TAKE YOU AWAY KNOWING THAT IT WAS
BECAUSE OF ME, THAT I HAD RUNG THEM.
>> I'M GLAD YOU DID IT.
>> ARE YOU?
>> YUP. YEAH, I AM, ABSOLUTELY. I OFTEN WONDER
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU DIDN'T
ACTUALLY HAVE THE GUTS TO COMMIT ME. WHAT DO
YOU RECKON?
>> YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE.
>> THAT'S PRETTY CLEAR, EH?
>> Narrator: THERE ARE MANY CAUSES OF BORDERLINE
PERSONALITY DISORDER, ONE OF WHICH IS SEXUAL
ABUSE. BOTH MARIA AND RACHAEL CLAIM TO HAVE
BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED AS CHILDREN.
>> I WAS ABUSED BY A WELL-KNOWN ENTITY. HE WAS
STEREOTYPICAL OF A CHILD ABUSER IN THAT PEOPLE
TRUSTED HIM AND THEY TRUSTED THEIR KIDS WITH
HIM, AND HE REALLY FOOLED PEOPLE INTO THINKING
HE WAS JUST A REALLY NICE GUY. BUT A BUNCH OF US
KIDS KNEW QUITE DIFFERENTLY, IT WASN'T JUST ME. I
REMEMBER IT WAS BAD, I REMEMBER IT. I HAD NO
POWER. ANYONE THAT'S BEEN ABUSED WOULD
PROBABLY TELL YOU THE SAME THING, IT'S JUST, IT'S
SO OVERWHELMING. YOU DON'T WANT TO BREATHE,

YOU DON'T WANT TO MOVE. YOU JUST WANT IT ALL TO
GO AWAY, WANT THAT PERSON TO GO AWAY.
>> Narrator: AS MANY AS SEVENTY PERCENT OF PEOPLE
WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER HAVE
BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED AS CHILDREN. FOR MARIA DE
SILVA IT HAD A DEEP AND LASTING EFFECT,
DISRUPTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN AND CAUSING
INTERNAL TURMOIL. ?
>> Narrator: SEVENTY PERCENT OF WOMEN WITH
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER HAVE BEEN
SEXUALLY ABUSED AS CHILDREN. MARIA DE SILVA
CLAIMED SHE WAS ABUSED WHEN SHE WAS SEVEN BY
AN OLDER SCHOOL BOY. IN DIARIES FOUND AFTER HER
DEATH SHE WRITES:
>> I REALIZED HE MUST HAVE WATCHED ME BEFORE
HE SET HIS TRAP. OH GOD, HE HAS GOOD AS
EXTINGUISHED THE INNOCENT FRESH CHILD IN ME. HE
CRUSHED THE BLOSSOMING BRIGHT FUTURE. I FEEL SO
GUILTY, SO ASHAMED. IT WAS MY FAULT. IT HAD TO
BE MY FAULT. I WENT WITH HIM, I DIDN'T REFUSE.
>> WHEN PEOPLE ARE ABUSED AS CHILDREN OFTEN
WHAT HAPPENS IS THE ABUSER IS TELLING THE CHILD
THINGS ABOUT THE CHILD'S EXPERIENCE THAT JUST
AREN'T TRUE. FOR INSTANCE, THE ABUSER WILL BE
TELLING THE CHILD THIS IS OK, YOU'RE ENJOYING
THIS, THIS ISN'T A PROBLEM AND THIS IS FINE. ALL
THINGS THAT ARE NOT TRUE. SO WHAT THE CHILD IS
LEARNING THERE IS TO NOT RELY ON THEIR OWN
EXPERIENCE, TO NOT TRUST THEIR EMOTIONS AND SO
THEY END UP VERY VERY CONFUSED ABOUT THEIR
OWN EMOTIONAL STATE AND THEIR OWN FEELINGS
AND THEIR OWN THOUGHTS. AND THAT CONFUSION
AND UNCERTAINTY AROUND EMOTIONS IS ONE OF THE
KEY PROBLEMS IN BORDERLINE PERSONALITY
DISORDER.
>> Narrator: TO THIS DAY RACHAEL KAVANAGH STILL

HAS VIVID NIGHTMARES OF BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED
AS A CHILD. IT'S SO BAD SHE TAKES SLEEPING PILLS
EVERY NIGHT.
>> I HAVE POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER FROM
ABUSE, AND WITH THAT COMES INABILITY TO SLEEP,
OR GO TO SLEEP AND NOT STAY ASLEEP, AND THEN
ONCE YOU ARE ASLEEP THE NIGHTMARES, THAT
WOULD FOLLOW.
>> Narrator: IT'S NOT JUST SEXUAL ABUSE THAT LEADS
TO BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. THE
PERSONS TEMPERAMENT AND THEIR FAMILY
ENVIRONMENT ARE ALSO IMPORTANT.
>> AS BEST AS WE CAN TELL THERE ARE TWO MAIN
CAUSES OF BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. THE
FIRST ONE IS THE PERSON NEEDS TO HAVE A SENSITIVE
TEMPERAMENT. THAT ON IT'S OWN IS NOT A BAD
THING. IT JUST MEANS THAT THEY HAVE A CAPACITY
FOR A WIDE RANGE OF EMOTIONS WHICH CAN LEAD TO
A VERY KIND OF INTERESTING AND OFTEN CREATIVE
LIFE. ON IT'S OWN IT'S NOT A PROBLEM, HOWEVER IF
THAT'S COUPLED WITH AND ENVIRONMENT WHERE
THE PERSON DOESN'T LEARN HOW TO APPRECIATE AND
ADEQUATELY CONTROL THEIR EMOTIONS THEN THAT'S
A REAL PROBLEM. A FAMILY ENVIRONMENT SAY
WHERE THERE'S A LOT OF CONFLICT AND LOTS AND
LOTS OF ARGUMENTS, WHICH IS OFTEN VERY
DISTRESSING FOR YOUNG CHILDREN. SO A YOUNG
CHILD IN THAT SITUATION MIGHT SAY TO THE
PARENTS I'M FEELING BAD OR I'M UPSET. NOW, IF THE
PARENTS RESPONSE IS TO TELL THE CHILD THAT
EVERYTHING'S FINE AND THERE'S NOTHING TO BE
UPSET ABOUT, WHAT THE PARENTS ARE TELLING THE
CHILDREN IS APPARENTLY WRONG AND IT'S A VERY
VERY CONFUSING THING FOR THE CHILD TO LEARN SO
THEY DON'T LEARN TO VALUE THEIR OWN EMOTIONAL
RESPONSES AND TO LEARN FROM THEM AND TO

CONTROL THEM.
>> Narrator: AS WELL AS BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED,
RACHAEL FEELS THERE WERE ALSO PROBLEMS AT
HOME THAT CONTRIBUTED TO HER DISORDER. TODAY
SHE'S GOING TO VISIT HER MOM, JOY. TOGETHER
THEY'RE STILL TRYING TO WORK OUT WHAT WENT
WRONG IN HER CHILDHOOD. RACHAEL IS THE
YOUNGEST OF FOUR DAUGHTERS. HER FATHER LEFT
WHEN SHE WAS A BABY SO JOY BROUGHT RACHAEL UP
ON HER OWN.
>> RACHAEL HAD THIS FEAR OF BEING ABANDONED.
YOU HAD TO THINK HOW YOU WERE GOING TO WORD A
SENTENCE IN CASE SHE FELT REJECTED. ANY SIGN OF
BEING PUSHED AWAY AT ALL WOULD START ON A,
START HER DOWN A TRACK ACTUALLY OF, WELL YOU
WOULD SAY MISBEHAVING, PLAYING UP,
MANIPULATING.
>> THE REASON FOR THE MANIPULATION, THE REASON
FOR THE CUNNING, IT WASN'T JUST BECAUSE I FELT
LIKE IT. IT WAS OUT OF FEAR, IT WAS SPAWNED OUT
OF FEAR. MOM WAS REALLY ALL I HAD AND THE FEAR
OF LOSING HER WAS JUST, IT WAS HUGE.
>> Narrator: AS TIME WENT ON RACHAEL BECAME MORE
AND MORE INSECURE.
>> I THINK AT THE TIME I WAS AMIST A LOT OF
CONFUSION, THERE WASN'T REALLY ANYWHERE THAT
I FELT SAFE TO GO, AND AT THAT POINT THAT COULD
HAVE JUST BEEN ME AS I KNEW IT, OR AS A CHILD OR
WHATEVER JUST GAVE UP TO A DISORDER, AND I
BECAME VERY DISSOCIATIVE, DEPRESSIVE, VERY
MOODY PRETTY MUCH FROM THERE.
>> I WAS NOT A PERFECT MOTHER, WHO IS? I MEAN
YOU'RE NOT BORN A MOTHER, YOU LEARN AS YOU GO
ALONG, AND THERE WERE MISTAKES. BUT I REALLY
CANNOT SEE, OR COULDN'T SEE, THAT WHERE
ANYTHING I HAD DONE COULD CAUSE SUCH A

TRAUMATIC SICKNESS.
>> Narrator: WHILE FOR RACHAEL CHILDHOOD
INSTABILITY SEEMS TO HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO HER
DISORDER, FOR MARIA DE SILVA IT WAS A DIFFERENT
SET OF PARENTAL CIRCUMSTANCES THAT LED TO HER
ILLNESS. LIKE RACHAEL, SHE WAS THE YOUNGEST OF
FOUR CHILDREN. HER BROTHER DENNY REMEMBERS
THE JOY OF HIS ONLY SISTER BEING BORN.
>> WELL, WE WERE THREE HAPPY BROTHERS GROWING
UP IN A LOVELY AREA. IT WAS A TYPICAL RURAL
SITUATION OF NEW ZEALAND. SHE WAS IN A LOVELY
FAMILY ENVIRONMENT, AND CARING AND LOVING
PARENTS, AND CERTAINLY HAD THREE DOTING
BROTHERS. SHE DIDN'T WANT FOR ANYTHING.
>> Narrator: IN FACT, SHE WAS CHERISHED AND
SPOILED.
>> WELL BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS UNCONDITIONAL
LOVE SHE DID TEND TO GET HER OWN WAY OVER
MOST THINGS. THERE WERE TIMES WHEN SHE HAD
MORE FREEDOM AND GOT AWAY WITH MORE THAN
PERHAPS WE DID AS BROTHERS AND I DARE SAY THAT
AT THE END OF THE DAY THAT DOESN'T HELP.
>> Narrator: WHAT MARIA'S PARENTS DIDN'T REALIZE
WAS THAT BY SPOILING THEIR DAUGHTER THEY WERE
LAYING THE SEEDS OF WHAT WOULD LATER ON
BECOME A PSYCHOLOGICAL ILLNESS.
>> WHERE IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE FOR SPOILING TO
CONTRIBUTE TO BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
IS, LET'S SAY FOR AN EXAMPLE, EVERY SINGLE TIME A
CHILD HAD A STRONG EMOTIONAL RESPONSE, AND
LETS' SAY INITIALLY THE PARENTS SAYS NO, AND SO
THE CHILD INCREASES THEIR EMOTIONAL RESPONSE,
HAS A STRONGER AND STRONGER EMOTION UNTIL THE
PARENT GIVES IN. SO WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING
THERE IS THE CHILD IS BEING TAUGHT TO GET WHAT
YOU WANT YOU HAVE TO HAVE STRONGER AND

STRONGER AND STRONGER EMOTIONS. IF THAT
HAPPENS AS A PATTERN OVER A CHILD'S LIFE THEY
LEARN THAT THE ONLY WAY TO GET WHAT THEY
WANT IS TO HAVE REALLY REALLY STRONG
EMOTIONS. SOMETIMES PEOPLE CAN BEAR THAT WITH
CHILDREN BUT WHEN ADULTS START TO BEHAVE LIKE
THAT IT'S A REAL PROBLEM. HI JANEY, DO YOU HAVE
YOUR DIARY CARD WITH YOU TODAY?
>> YEP, YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.
>> Narrator: PSYCHOLOGISTS LIKE DAVID SEMP BELIEVE
THE ONLY WAY TO UNDO THESE UNDESIRABLE
PATTERNS SET IN CHILDHOOD IS TO TEACH PEOPLE
HOW TO REGAIN CONTROL OF THEIR EMOTIONS. HE
DOES THIS THROUGH DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR
THERAPY, WHICH ORIGINATED IN AMERICA.
>> A TYPICAL EXAMPLE OF WHAT WE WOULD DO IN A
THERAPY SESSION IS A CLIENT WOULD COME IN, THEY
WOULD HAVE A RECORD WHICH THEY KEEP OF THEIR
EMOTIONS DURING THE WEEK AND OF ANY TIMES
DURING THE WEEK WHERE THEY SELF-HARMED OR
USED DRUGS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. AND LET'S SAY,
FOR EXAMPLE, SOMEONE HAD SELF-HARMED ONCE
DURING THE WEEK, WE NEED TO LOOK AT HOW THAT
HAPPENED, WHAT WERE YOU FEELING? WHAT LED UP
TO THAT SELF-HARM? WHAT COULD YOU DO
DIFFERENTLY?
>> Narrator: RACHAEL KAVANAGH IS ABOUT TO TRY
DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR THERAPY. SHE'S KEEN TO
WORK ON HER FEARS OF ABANDONMENT AND FIND
OUT WHY IT IS SHE'S SO JEALOUS EVERY TIME
PARTNER SY LOOKS AT ANOTHER WOMAN. ?
>> Narrator: AFTER YEARS OF SELF-HARM AND TWO
SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, RACHAEL IS GOING TO HER FIRST
DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR THERAPY SESSION WITH
PRIVATE PSYCHOLOGIST SUE HARDING.
>> HI RACHAEL, NICE TO SEE YOU.

>> Narrator: TODAY, THEY'RE LOOKING AT WHY
RACHAEL FEELS SO JEALOUS OF HER PARTNER SY
EVEN GLANCES AT ANOTHER WOMAN.
>> A GOOD EXAMPLE WOULD PROBABLY BE WE WERE
IN COWTON AND A WOMAN WALKED TOWARDS HIM
AND I WAS JUST IN FRONT OF HIM, AND I LOOKED
AROUND AND I COULD SEE HIM LOOKING AT HER, AND
IT WAS JUST FROM ZERO TO, YOU KNOW, A HUNDRED
MY EMOTIONS JUST CAME, YOU KNOW, UP. I FELT
MYSELF STARTING TO DISSOCIATE AND RAGE AT THE
SAME TIME.
>> SO YOU TURN AROUND AND YOU SAW THE WOMAN,
AND WHAT WENT THROUGH YOUR MIND THEN?
>> DOES HE KNOW HER? ARE THEY SEEING EACH
OTHER? HE DOESN'T LOVE ME. HE'S GOING TO LEAVE
ME.
>> AND DID YOU DO ANYTHING AT THAT POINT?
>> I LOOKED AT HIM AND GAVE HIM AN AWFUL LOOK.
>> AND WHAT WAS THE FEELING THAT WENT WITH
THAT?
>> ANGER WENT WITH THAT ONE.
>> Narrator: SUE HELPS RACHAEL TO UNDERSTAND HER
EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TO THE SITUATION, AND
TOGETHER THEY EXPLORE NEW WAYS IN WHICH
RACHAEL CAN DEAL WITH HER EMOTIONS. IT WILL
TAKE TIME TO LEARN HOW TO DO THIS.
>> WHAT'S SOMETHING THAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE
DIFFERENT? WHAT'S SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAVE
HELPED YOU AT EACH POINT ALONG THE WAY?
>> FROM A PHYSICAL PERSPECTIVE I THINK THAT I
COULD HAVE DONE, BECAUSE AS SOON AS I SAW THE
TWO PEOPLE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER, YOU KNOW, I
STOPPED BREATHING. AND MY WHOLE BODY TENSED,
AND THE BREATHING KIND OF WENT FROM STOPPING
TO JUST VERY, VERY SHALLOW.
>> RIGHT.

>> SO I THINK THAT I COULD HAVE DONE MYSELF A
FAVOR THERE IN BEING MINDFUL OF HOW MUCH
BREATH I WAS TAKING IN IN ORDER TO HELP MYSELF
SETTLE DOWN. I THINK THAT MODEL OF THERAPY, IT
GIVES YOU LONG TERM STRATEGIES. I THINK, I JUST,
IT'S SO MUCH MORE HELPFUL THAN JUST MASKING THE
BEHAVIORS WITH, WITH COMMUNICATIONS.
>> Narrator: ALTHOUGH DBT, OR DIALECTICAL
BEHAVIORAL THERAPY IS A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE FOR
RACHAEL, FOR MARIA DE SILVA IT SIMPLY DIDN'T
MAKE SENSE.
>> DBT IS A HEAP OF SHIT. ANY THERAPY THAT
REQUIRES THAT MUCH EXPLANATION AND LEAVES THE
POOR PERSON SUBJECTED TO IT IN TOTAL CONFUSION
HAS TO BE SUSPECT. I DON'T NECESSARILY WANT A
LABEL ATTACHED TO ME, I JUST WANT SOMEBODY
SOMEWHERE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON WITH
ME.
>> BREATH IN TOO, PUSH YOUR TUM UP, PUSH YOUR
TUM UP.
>> Narrator: TAKING ON SUE HARDING'S ADVISE,
RACHAEL HAS DECIDED SHE NEEDS TO LEARN NEW
SKILLS TO DEAL WITH HER EMOTIONS, ONE OF WHICH
IS TO LEARN TO BREATH PROPERLY SO SHE CAN CALM
HERSELF IN MOMENTS OF PANIC. SHE'S COME TO SEE
TANYA CLIFTON SMITH AT BREATHING WORKS. HERE,
TANYA IS TEACHING RACHAEL HOW TO BREATH
CORRECTLY. BUT WHILE LYING ON THE BED RACHAEL
HAS A PANIC ATTACK ABOUT HER CHIN BEING FILMED
FROM AN UNFLATTERING POSITION.
>> OH GOD, I DON'T LIKE THE CAMERA AT THAT
ANGLE.
>> ARE YOU OK?
>> BECAUSE OF MY SELF IMAGE I HAD A VISION, IF
YOU LIKE, OF HOW I MUST LOOK RIGHT NOW AND ALL I
COULD SEE WAS THIS DOUBLE CHIN ALMOST

COVERING UP TO MY NOSE, AND I JUST KEEP SEEING IT
AND THE PANIC AND THE BREATHING STOP FIRST, AND
THE PANIC CEDED AND THE EYES WELL UP.
>> ARE YOU ALRIGHT? OH, I KNOW, I KNOW. LET IT GO,
JUST LET IT GO. THAT IS COMMON. HOW DO YOU FEEL?
>> BETTER. PANIC ATTACKS WITH ME HAPPEN VERY
VERY QUICKLY.
>> Narrator: MARIA DE SILVA WAS ALSO SUFFERING
FROM PANIC ATTACKS AND ANXIETY AFTER HER
MOTHER DIED. IN SEPTEMBER 2000 SHE MADE THIS
ENTRY IN HER DIARY.
>> I WENT TO VISIT MOM THIS AFTERNOON. I WANT SO
BADLY TO BE WITH HER. I MISS HER TERRIBLY. I HAD A
STRONG COMPULSION TO CRAWL INSIDE THE GRAVE
TO BE WITH HER.
>> Narrator: THEN, ANOTHER BLOW. SHE WAS
DEVASTATED TO READ A REPORT OF HER CONDUCT AT
FRIENDSHIP HOUSE, A PLACE SHE WORKED AS A
VOLUNTEER AS PART OF A MENTAL HEALTH
CERTIFICATE SHE WAS TAKING.
>> MARIA IS CLEARLY UNABLE TO MAINTAIN HER
PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. SHE DEMONSTRATES POOR
IMPULSE CONTROL AND ANGER MANAGEMENT. HER
TIME MANAGEMENT AND ABILITY TO PRIORITIZE ARE
ALSO UNSATISFACTORY.
>> Narrator: AT HOME, RACHAEL IS WAITING FOR THE
RESULTS OF HER BUSINESS COMMUNICATION PAPER,
PART OF A FOUR YEAR PSYCHOLOGY DEGREE SHE'S
DOING BY CORRESPONDENCE.
>> I FEEL AS THOUGH I FAILED IT MISERABLY, SO I'M
JUST HAVING A LOOK TO SEE IF IN FACT I DID. OH,
HOLD ON, HERE WE GO. WELL, IT WASN'T TOO BAD. I
THOUGH I WOULD GET A ROUND ABOUT FORTY
PERCENT IF I WAS LUCKY, BUT I'VE GOT SIXTY OUT OF
A HUNDRED, SO IT WASN'T TOO BIG A FAILURE.
>> Narrator: RACHAEL'S LOW SELF-ESTEEM IS ALSO

APPARENT IN THE WAY SHE PERCEIVES HERSELF
PHYSICALLY. SHE HATES HER CHIN AND WANTS TO
HAVE IT SURGICALLY ALTERED. TODAY SHE'S
PREPARING TO SEE PLASTIC SURGEON TRISTAN DE
CHALAIN.
>> I'M GOING TO GO GET A QUOTE FROM HIM TO SEE
HOW MUCH IT'S GOING TO COST TO GET LIPOSUCTION
IN MY CHIN. I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO
HAVE A JAW LINE FOR A START. IT'S JUST SOMETHING
THAT HAS BEEN, SOMETHING I'VE JUST REALLY HATED
ABOUT MY FACE, AND JUST THE LONGEST TIME.
>> RACHAEL KAVANAGH. HI RACHAEL. TRISTAN DE
CHALAIN, I'M VERY PLEASED TO MEET YOU. COME
THROUGH WITH ME. SORRY WE'RE STILL DECORATING.
IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS SINCE THEY BUILT IT BUT
THEY HAVEN'T FINISHED. OK, LET'S SEE WHAT WE
HAVE. WHAT I'D LIKE YOU TO DO IS TAKE THAT
MIRROR, PICK IT UP, AND YOU SHOW ME WHERE THE
AREA OF CONCERN IS.
>> ALRIGHT, IF I'M LIKE THAT, IT'S THAT PART THERE
THAT HANGS DOWN. FROM THE SIDE, IT'S FROM THERE
DOWN, THIS HANGING PART HERE. WHEN I GO LIKE
THAT I LIKE IT CONSIDERABLY BETTER THEN IT JUST
SORT OF HANGING. IT'S JUST SORT OF, I'VE PROBABLY
GOT A NICE JAW LINE UNDER THERE SOMEWHERE.
>> SURE. SO WHAT I NEED TO DO IS MAKE A LITTLE
INCISION JUST UNDER THERE, GET ONTO THE MUSCLE,
AND YOU TIGHTEN THE MUSCLE ACROSS THE MIDDLE
LINE, TAKE OUT SOME OF THE FAT BOTH ABOVE AND
BELOW THE MUSCLE, AND THEN TAKE SOME OF THIS
SKIN UP THIS WAY.
>> IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL.
>> I COULD PROBABLY SHOW YOU A PICTURE OF
SOMEBODY WHO'S HAD SOMETHING SIMILAR.
>> WOW!
>> SO THAT'S A NECK LIFT ONLY. THAT'S THE SORT OF

THING THAT I WOULD SUGGEST FOR YOU. OK, COME
ON. I'LL TAKE YOU THROUGH TO MEET WENDY, AND
WE'LL MAKE A DAY TO SEE YOU AGAIN SHOULD YOU
DECIDE TO PROCEED.
>> OH I THINK I WILL BE.
>> OK, GOOD.
>> AWESOME! THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
>> OK, YOU TOO.
>> HI RACHAEL. IF YOU'D LIKE TO FILL THAT OUT FOR
ME.
>> Narrator: BACK IN RECEPTION, RACHAEL'S WAITING
TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH IT WILL COST. IT'S A TENSE
MOMENT. SHE'S DESPERATE TO GO AHEAD WITH IT,
BUT IT'S ALL DOWN TO COST. IF IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE
SHE'LL BE BITTERLY DISAPPOINTED. RACHAEL
KAVANAGH HAS JUST BEEN FOR A CONSULTATION
WITH PLASTIC SURGEON TRISTAN DE CHALAIN. SHE
WANTS TO SURGICALLY ALTER HER NECK AND CHIN.
THE ONLY PROBLEM IS CAN SHE AFFORD IT?
>> THE ENTIRE COST FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU SAW
ME IS SIXTEEN THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.
THERE IS JUST ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I CAN AFFORD
SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS ON MY FACE. IT'S A
HUGE BLOW. IT IS JUST, THAT'S A HUGE BLOW. I WAS
JUST SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, BUT THESE, I GUESS
I'VE JUST GOT TO STICK WITH THE SAME FACE.
>> Narrator: RACHAEL'S DISAPPOINTMENT IS GOING TO
BE HARD TO COME TO TERMS WITH. MARIA DE SILVA
WAS ALSO ABOUT TO FACE A MAJOR SETBACK THAT
WAS TO PROVE A TURNING POINT IN HER LIFE. IN 2001,
SHE SET UP A TRUST TO RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT
PEOPLE WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
CHRISTINE WHITTLE, AFTER WHOM SHE NAMED THE
TRUST, HAD BPD AND HAD KILLED HERSELF A YEAR
BEFORE. MARIA WAS ORGANIZING A CHARITY BALL TO

RAISE MONEY FOR THE DISORDER. SHE HAD WRITTEN
A SONG ABOUT THE ILLNESS WHICH SHE WANTED TO
SING TO A HOST OF CELEBRITIES. WHEN SHE FAILED
TO SELL ANY TICKETS THE TRUSTEES BECAME
CONCERNED AND PUT THE PROJECT ON HOLD. THE
DELAY PUT THE PROJECT IN JEOPARDY. THEN, ON THE
FIFTEENTH OF JULY, 2003, MARIA GOT A PHONE CALL
FROM THE CARLTON HOTEL SAYING THEY WERE
PULLING OUT. SHE WAS FURIOUS. SHE PHONED HER
CASE WORKER TWICE. THE CALLS WERE RECORDED IN
MARIA'S CASE NOTES.
>> I GOT A PHONE CALL AT FIVE-THIRTY FROM MARIA,
YELLING AND SCREAMING. SHE TOLD ME SHE
WOULDN'T BE HERE TOMORROW. I SAID VERY LITTLE,
AS I LEARNED FROM PAST EPISODES IT JUST MAKES
MATTERS WORSE.
>> Narrator: BUT THIS WASN'T JUST A CRY FOR HELP.
MARIA MADE TWO MORE PHONE CALLS SAYING SHE
WOULDN'T BE AROUND THE NEXT DAY. THEN SHE PUT
HER DRASTIC PLAN INTO ACTION.
>> FROM NINE P.M. TO ELEVEN TWENTY, THIRY-FIVE
P.M. WHEN SHE WROTE HER LAST WILL AND
TESTAMENT AND LEFT IT ON THE COMPUTER THERE
WAS TWO AND A HALF HOURS WHEN SOMEONE COULD
HAVE GONE AND RAN AND CHECKED ON HER.
>> Narrator: AT ELEVEN-O-CLOCK, MARIA DE SILVA
LEFT THE HOUSE AND DROVE TO AOTEA SQUARE. SHE
LEFT THE CAR OUTSIDE THE POLICE STATION AND
MADE HER WAY DOWN TO THE SQUARE. AFTER HER
SETBACK AT THE PLASTIC SURGEONS, RACHAEL'S
BOUNCED BACK. SHE'S GOT EVERY REASON TO BE
HAPPY. ON SATURDAY SHE'S GETTING MARRIED TO SY.
ALTHOUGH SHE'S LOOKING FORWARD TO THE
WEDDING, SHE'S APPREHENSIVE TOO. MANY OF THE
RELATIVES DON'T KNOW ABOUT HER DISORDER.
>> THE REASON I CHOSE THIS DRESS WAS BECAUSE IT

COVERED MY SCARS QUITE NICELY. I HAVE ABOUT
TWO HUNDRED ON MYSELF, AND I DIDN'T WANT FOR
THE NEW RELATIVES AND PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT
ABOUT ME.
>> Narrator: FOR RACHAEL, THE BIG DAY IS HERE. SY IS
WAITING FOR HER TO ARRIVE.
>> I MET MY PARTNER, AND I LET MY GUARD DOWN,
WHETHER IT BE BECAUSE HE'S JUST GOT AN AWESOME
PERSONALITY, OR QUITE WHAT IT WAS, AND I
ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE LOVED. AND WHEN I WAS, IT
WAS JUST A COMPLETELY ENTIRELY NEW EXPERIENCE
AND SUCH A POSITIVE ONE THAT I STARTED TO
SLOWLY REBUILD, AND THE EMOTION, I STARTED TO
WANT TO LOVE. SO IT WAS ALMOST LIKE A REBIRTH.
>> TODAY SY, I JOIN MY LIFE TO YOURS.
>> TODAY SY, I JOIN MY LIFE TO YOURS.
>> LET ME BE THE SHOULDER YOU LEAN ON.
>> LET ME BE THE SHOULDER YOU LEAN ON.
>> THE ROCK ON WHICH YOU REST.
>> THE ROCK ON WHICH YOU REST.
>> THE COMPANION OF YOUR LIFE.
>> THE COMPANION OF YOUR LIFE.
>> WITH YOU I WILL WALK MY PATH.
>> WITH YOU I WILL WALK MY PATH.
>> FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.
>> FROM THIS DAY FORWARD.
>> UNTIL WE ARE PARTED BY DEATH.
>> UNTIL WE ARE PARTED BY DEATH.
(applause).
>> Narrator: MARIA DE SILVA'S LAST MOMENTS ARE
CAUGHT ON CCTV. AT ONE THIRTY-FIVE SHE SET FIRE
TO HERSELF. AMBULANCES RACED TO SAVE HER, BUT
IT WAS TOO LATE. SHE DIED LATER IN HOSPITAL.
MARIA'S BROTHER, DENNY, IS DEVASTATED BY HIS
SISTER'S DEATH. HE DOESN'T ACCEPT AS OTHERS DO
THAT SHE MEANT TO KILL HERSELF, NOT LEAST

BECAUSE SHE CALLED THREE PEOPLE, INCLUDING HER
CASE WORKER, THE NIGHT SHE DIED, WARNING THEM
SHE WOULDN'T BE THERE THE NEXT DAY.
>> IF SOMEBODY HAD REACTED TO HER LAST CALLS IN
THAT LAST TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, CERTAINLY THE
EVENING BEFORE SHE DIED, SHE'D BE STILL ALIVE,
WOULDN'T SHE, OR SHE MIGHT HAVE LIVED ANOTHER
DAY, OR SHE MIGHT HAVE LIVED ANOTHER WEEK. SHE
MIGHT HAVE LIVED ANOTHER MONTH. SHE MIGHT
STLL BE ALIVE TODAY.
>> Narrator: HE'S ESPECIALLY QUESTIONING WHY THOSE
IN CHARGE OF HER CARE AND WHO KNEW OF HER
DISTRESS DIDN'T DO MORE.
>> HOW MUCH MORE GRAPHIC DETAIL DID THEY NEED
TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS WOMAN WAS REALLY
CLOSE TO ACTUALLY JUMPING OVER THE CLIFF?
THAT'S WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
>> Narrator: COUNTIES MANUKAU DISTRICT HEALTH
BOARDS SAY ALL THE CORRECT PROCEDURES TO HELP
MARIA WERE IN PLACE THAT NIGHT, AND MARIA WAS
AWARE OF THEM. BEST FRIEND AND COMMUNITY
CARER RAEWYN BIEL WAS ANOTHER PERSON MARIA
RANG ON THE NIGHT SHE DIED. COULD SHE HAVE
DONE MORE?
>> I THINK WE COULD ONLY STOP IT FOR SO LONG.
YOU SORT OF KNOW THAT ONE DAY IT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN, AND YOU'RE JUST NOT GOING TO BE THERE. I
GUESS THIS WAS THE TIME.
>> Narrator: FOR RACHAEL, IT'S TIME TO MAKE AMENDS
FOR THE HURT SHE'S CAUSED HER MOTHER IN THE
PAST, AND LOOK TO A BRIGHTER FUTURE TOGETHER.
>> I AM FOREVER THANKFUL FOR WHAT MY MOM DID
AND WHAT SHE SAW, AND WHAT SHE PUT UP WITH.
>> WE CAN SYMPATHIZE...
>> I'M SORRY.
>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SORRY BECAUSE I JUST

WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. I
SAW THE FIGHT AND I SAW THE BATTLE, AND I KNEW
IT WAS HARD, AND I KNEW YOU WERE GOING
THROUGH HELL, BUT YOU STILL KEPT ON FIGHTING.
AND YOU WON, YOU WON. AND YES, I WOULD LIKE
PEOPLE OUT THERE TO KNOW THAT THERE IS LIGHT AT
THE END OF THE TUNNEL. IT'S JUST THE COMING
THROUGH THAT'S THE HARD PART. AND IT'S WORTH IT,
IT'S WORTH IT, BECAUSE YOU GET YOUR DAUGHTER,
YOU GET YOUR CHILD BACK AGAIN. ?
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