Unlocking project communication using the power of language webinar Thursday 13 April 2023 This was a joint panel webinar from APM People SIG and ANLP International CIC: The Association for NLP. Presented by: Jeremy Lazarus, Dianne Lowther and Paul McGowran The link to the write up page and resources of this webinar: https://www.apm.org.uk/news/unlocking-project-communication-using-the-power-of-language-webinar/ Content description: When communicating, we automatically delete, distort and generalise, but usually don’t know we’re doing it. In this panel webinar on Thursday 13 April, we discovered how to challenge and use this in project communication. The project environment relies very heavily on communication. There are many standard formats used, and a few channels to consider. It is worth examining how aspects of the NLP Communications Model are being used, deliberately or unconsciously; also it is worth considering how deletions, distortions and generalisations can be challenged, in the interests of better communication and decision making.

1. Unlocking project communication
using the power of language
Joint webinar by APM People SIG and Association for NLP
13 April 2023

2. Unlocking project communication using the power of language
• Meet our panel today
• The NLP Communication Model: Deletions, Distortions and
Generalisation [DDG] – how these affect communication
• How DDG can be detected, used, challenged within a business
communication environment
• Some examples of where DDG can be found (and used) in specific
areas of project management
• Audience experience of DDG in a project environment [using
Mentimeter] and questions for the panel.
© 2023 Association for Project Management 2
In this webinar:

3. Unlocking project communication using the power of language
Jeremy Lazarus
Accredited Master Executive Coach,
ILM Approved Coach Trainer and a
Certified NLP Master Trainer. Prior to
becoming a business coach and
trainer in 1999 he had 18 years’
experience in finance. He is a
qualified accountant and corporate
treasurer. Jeremy spent four years
in the investment management
industry, four years as a
management consultant and was
Finance Director of YO! Sushi.
© 2023 Association for Project Management 3
Our expert panel today
Dianne Lowther
Founder and principal of Brilliant
Minds, which specialises in
leadership and engagement in
technical environments. Dianne has
a degree in Psychology and is an
author, Certified NLP Master Trainer,
coach and conference speaker,
qualified in the use of psychometric
tests including LAB Profile. Dianne
has a background in Learning and
Development, mostly in the service
sector.
Paul McGowran
Paul is an INLPTA and ANLP Certified
NLP Trainer. His early career was
spent as a management
accountant since when he has
worked in the NHS, Oil & Gas, IT &
Software and Transport & Logistics
industries. With a core interest in
team dynamics, Paul has
developed innovative approaches
to building more collaborative and
high performing teams, using NLP
techniques and skills.

4. Jeremy Lazarus:
The NLP Communication Model -
Deletions, Distortions and
Generalisations
© 2023 Association for Project Management 4

5. Unlocking project communication using the power of language
• You’ll understand yourself and other people even better (both at work and home!)
• You’ll be able to communicate even more effectively and with greater clarity, avoiding
some of the ‘mis-communications’ which occur when people are communicating
• You’ll be able to ask the important questions to understand what people really mean
when they’re communicating
• Ultimately, better communication usually leads to better results
© 2023 Association for Project Management 5
Why are we talking about this, and how will it help us?

6. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
6

7. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
7
‘Events’

8. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
8
‘Events’
Filter
Thoughts
& feelings

9. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
9
‘Events’
Filter
Thoughts
& feelings
Actions &
Behaviours

10. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
10
‘Events’
Filters:
Delete
Thoughts
& feelings
Actions &
Behaviours

11. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
11
‘Events’
Filters:
Delete
Distort
Thoughts
& feelings
Actions &
Behaviours

12. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
12
‘Events’
Filters:
Delete
Distort
Generalise
Thoughts
& feelings
Actions &
Behaviours

13. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
13
‘Events’
Filters:
Delete
Distort
Generalise
Values
Beliefs
Language
Experiences
etc
Thoughts
& feelings
Actions &
Behaviours

14. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
14
‘Events’
Filters:
Delete
Distort
Generalise
Values
Beliefs
Language
Experiences
etc
Thoughts
& feelings
Actions &
Behaviours
RESULTS &
OUTCOMES

15. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
15
‘Events’
Filters:
Delete
Distort
Generalise
Values
Beliefs
Language
Experiences
etc
Thoughts
& feelings
Actions &
Behaviours
RESULTS &
OUTCOMES

16. Dianne Lowther:
How DDG can be detected, used and
challenged within a business
communication environment
© 2023 Association for Project Management 16

17. Deletion
“Communication is poor”
“There’s no direction”
“They won’t go for that”
“I’m not impressed”
© 2023 Association for Project Management 17
Something is missing – unspoken, assumed or ignored

18. Distortion
“He doesn’t ask my opinion or answer my questions. He
obviously doesn’t rate me”
“There’s no way we’re going to succeed now we’ve missed
that milestone”
“If you do that, you’ll regret it later”
© 2023 Association for Project Management 18
The assumed relationship between things is questionable

19. Generalisation
“The client never gives us information on time”
“You always ignore my suggestions”
“Nobody can get that to work”
“All project managers are amazing”
© 2023 Association for Project Management 19
There’s a rule here - and no exceptions

20. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
20
‘Events’
Filters:
Delete
Distort
Generalise
Values
Beliefs
Language
Experiences
etc
Thoughts
& feelings
Actions &
Behaviours
RESULTS &
OUTCOMES

21. Paul McGowran:
How awareness of DDG might be
applied to actual examples of project
communication
© 2023 Association for Project Management 21

22. The day job
© 2023 Association for Project Management 22
Projects come with a long list of things that must be done and managed. Almost all of them require some degree of communication.
Deadlines
Scope changes
Outcomes
Interfaces
RAID matrix
Cost & budget control
Resource pool
Specialists Contract management
Managing
critical path
Sprints
Configuration
control Assurance regime
Quality
management
Stakeholder
expectation
Reporting
Audits
Managing all the
communications
Politics
Update
meetings
Changed requirements
Sponsor liaison
Change Readiness
Assessments

23. Projects communication examples
Example from a previous project: The project team represented by
the individuals from the Client and Contractor meeting with an
external stakeholder (Local Authority.)
• A Development Consent Order in place and the local authority
holding up planning consent over Air Pollution and Noise Pollution
concerns.
• The Project Team and stakeholder appeared to be approaching
the issue in a calm and assertive manner using clear, concise,
specific language. Then…a different member of the stakeholder
team enters the room and takes over. Suddenly, a different
dynamic begins.
© 2023 Association for Project Management 23
These are taken from actual project communications

24. Projects communication examples
The issue being discussed was a hoarding around a site boundary.
Rather than focus on the actual issue, distorted and generalised
language around the perceived impact started to be used.
• ‘this is superdoopa important’
• ‘big time’
• ‘we’re not allowing it happen’
The Project Team keep focused:
‘What would you have us do?”
‘What do you want from us?
© 2023 Association for Project Management 24
These are taken from actual project communications

25. Projects communication examples
In response to these specific questions, the stakeholder would only
come back with:
• ‘I’d rather avoid’
• “I don’t know what to do’
• ‘If there not able to comply with what they said they’d do’
• ‘We’d rather not enforce, but if residents keep demanding and protesting…’
• “I don’t know if there is anything we can do’
© 2023 Association for Project Management 25
These are taken from actual project communications

26. Our audience’s own experience and questions
© 2023 Association for Project Management 26
Live Mentimeter results – what
people are actually experiencing in
the workplace.
Questions to our panel from
members of the audience [via live
Teams Chat]
The panel’s examples of where
understanding DDG has helped in
other organisations.

27. The NLP Communication Model
© 2023 Association for Project Management
27
‘Events’
Filters:
Delete
Distort
Generalise
Values
Beliefs
Language
Experiences
etc
Thoughts
& feelings
Actions &
Behaviours
RESULTS &
OUTCOMES

28. Where to find further information on DDG
Jeremy Lazarus
www.thelazarus.com
jeremy@thelazarus.com
+44 (0)20 8349 2929
www.linkedin.com/in/jeremy-
lazarus
© 2023 Association for Project Management 28
Details of how to contact our panel members is shown below:
Dianne Lowther
www.brilliantminds.co.uk
dianne@brilliantminds.co.uk
+44 1789 415960
https://www.linkedin.com/in/diannel
owther/
Paul McGowran
www. proactivenlp.com
paul@proactivenlp.com
+ 44 7740 506667
LinkedIn/proactivenlp/