2. Before
We
Start…
1. agile
(verb)
To
work
on
something
when
you
don't
understand
the
problem
space,
the
market,
the
actual
goal
of
the
product
or
really
any
engineering
at
all.
Engineer
1:
They
want
me
to
build
an
inverse
flux
capcitor
for
our
new
marke+ng
theme.
Engineer
2:
Man
that
sucks,
what
are
you
doing
to
do?
Don't
they
know
the
IFC
is
a
joke?
Engineer
1:
Well
I
guess
I'll
just
have
to
scrum
and
agile
one
up
2. Agile
Agile
is
a
generalized
term
for
a
group
of
an+-‐social
behaviors
used
by
office
workers
to
avoid
doing
any
work
while
simultaneously
giving
the
appearance
of
being
insanely
busy.
Agile
methods
include
visual
distrac+on,
subterfuge,
camouflage,
psycho-‐babble,
buzzwords,
decep+on,
disinforma+on,
and
ritual
humilia+on.
It
has
nothing
to
do
with
the
art
and
prac+ce
of
soTware
engineering.
That
crap
was
built
using
Agile.
