2. Empty beds in res
UYhousingdid not expecttoham roughly 100
emptyresidencebedsthisterm,butthey do.This
comes after upper year students were turned
awayfrom residence.Although thecauseof the
error iscurrentlyunclear,it seemsthat thelarge
number of emptyrooms resultedfrom students
whoseconditionalofferswererevokedandthose
whorcceivedlateoffersfromotheruniversities.
Housing is lookinginto the issue;in the mcan-
time, the rooms are available for students.
liead more on cover and page 4
What doyouthink about residencebeing he's a"1ucky bastard."His favxrite experience
onthejob ashost of PilotGuideswerer e a c h
the summitofMount IQlimanjaro and thc tim
his director was bitten in the ass by a monkej
Rcad more onpage 1
dry nextyear?
Short order -- Short on calaman diavola an
mahi-mahiat 'TheRude Native,page 16
Ask Landers -"I.andersn grants advice c
marital issues,page 15
Canada's first plastic beer bottle
On October 2,Yaterloo's own Brick Brewery
launchedCanada's firstplastic beer bottle.The
bottles,whichholdanextra 132mloverstandard
341mlbottlesand,accor&gto Brick,coolfaster
and stay cold longer than thier glass counter-
parts,maymean more and more satisfyingbeer.
Read more onpage 3
Crossword-try yourl~andatourlatest,pagcl
SCIENCE
UWmuseums"That's the most horrible idea ever.
Ittakes away our preternatural right
"Ha ha, sure that'll work."
to get drunk."
PatrickBradley
3rd year RPW
Steven Somers
3rd year general math
Survivor UW
BeginniqgOctober4, atUYcampus, theworld
will be watchmgas 16rcsidentsare stranded in
the REV and V1 cafeterias.There, they must
work togetherto sun-ir-ewhileeliminatingcach
other one by one every few hours. The lone
survivor will walk away with $100. No one
knowswhichsurvivorwillprevailastheyouhvit,
outlast,outplayeach other and raise money for
charity
liead more on page 7
Themuscumsjust recietedanopcratmggrant
$18,54l.l>invsaurc,glasscsa1~dgamesaresor
of the artifacts at UT"s museums.
Read more onpage
Synesthesia
Imphfsciencelooksintoarareconditionwhi'
has the interestingsideaffect of seeingsounc
hearing senses,or smellingcolours.
liead more on coverand page
United Way
UXTis on again at UY The Untted X ay cam
p a p supports 50 member agencics and 45
grantsto communityorganizations This year's
goal of $150,000will be raised through a silent
"What will we do with the
leftoverfunnels?"
"You can't be prejudiced against a
minority simply becausethere will be
a majority of underage students in
residence."
James Fletcher
1A computer engineering
auction,aHallowe'enpotluckandtheeverpopu-
Zubin
4C GIS
larwackyhairday.Lastyear's campaignovershot
its goalof $150,000by almost $18,000.
Read more on page 3
Soccer to play rival Laurier
UKrmetLaurierinthe final5ofthe OURandt
CIS championship4lastyear Seehov. the'A'
riorsfacetheirnr a15th~sSaturday
Read more on co er and page
uwRyan.comChen-lYying focuseson struc-
turalproblems arisingfrom1-oluntccrboards of
directors,page 5
Football butts
Ifallyou stareatare cheerleaders,you're miss]
half the story. ''Tight butts" Titus talks abc
men in taut football pants.
Read more onpage
Speculations -I<oniecxnahands out a prize
pack of editorialcomment, sayingalittle about
a lot of thmgs,page 9
"I believe it will make the residencea
safer environment and lighten the
load on the dons."
Bryan Quinlan
1st year rec and leisure
"Froshare gonna do what they're
gonna do." ARTSKerriganon Mayor
P'edsVl' mtemaldisputesmayorY~oolstetlcrofr's
arguments for the 75 metre lodging house re-
striction.
l i e d morc on page 9
Opera
Since Louis XIV's rei'gn, opera allowed mt
cianstoexpressemotionsonstageinagandi,
renue. Kith its elaborate Russian 5
Tcha~kovsky'sQce~tz of Spuda has been ha1
"history's Firstsurrealopera,markingtl~cbeg
ningofailcx-musicaliuld theatncalroc.nbula~
Rcad more onpage
Tony Urquhart
Famous artist Tony Lrquhart unvails his r
sculptureOwllom~atthcentranceoflilMp;
Read inore on corer and pag
Sean Jackson
4th year physics and don
Letters to the editor-page 10
undefeated Cov an eamiilei thc phenom
enon of"gaydar," page 11
You!offmy planet!-I.ee-Yudrickspeaksout
agamst September 11Wlings, page 11
Maps & Legends -Edq onthe death of the
United Nations, page 11
Adam Sandler
"Thingswill be different""There's no need to get rid of run-
ning water, someone should get rid
of alcohol instead."
LiamMcHugh-Russell
3A math
Stephen Woods
4th year biochemistry
Malaysianteaching experience
DanReitcrrelateshisexperiencesofteachingin
A,falaysia,proving that education isn't strictly
limited to the classroom.
Rcad more on page 13
Traveltales
Ian Yt.lght told UX' students X'cdnesday that
Are hi?roles going down the drain' LY hat 1.
pened to the funnySandlerm Bdlyi14ud110li
Read more on pagt

3. Plastic bottledbeer
comingto Canada
Brick Brewery is the first to mass produce
beer in plasticbottles
Will Peters
SPECIALTO IMPRINT
OnOctober2,junBnckman, founder
oflocalBrickBreweryCo.,announced
m a midday product launch at his
LVaterloobrewery,theplasticbeerbot-
tle Specifically,Bnckwillbesellmgits
YellowLabclLagermitsplastic173ml
bottle starting m mid-October The
bottle is made of polvethylene. ,
terephthalateFET), a
saturated thermoplastic
polyester resin com
monlj used in commer-
ctalapphcaaonslikeplas
ticbottles Themanyad-
zmtagesofthePETbot
tle,accordmgtothecom
pany, is that it chills
quickly,stayscoldlonger
thanglassandcans,isre-
sealable,lightweight,un
breakable, has a wide
mouth for ease of pour
and holds more beer
than standard bottles
1he standardbeerbottle
holds341ml(l2ounces)
whereasBncBsPETbot
tleboastsanevtra132ml
(4ounces) at 473ml(16
ounces)
able at The Beer Store and LCBO
outlets m southern Ontario m mid-
October. There will be a continued
r o k u t across Ontario untd next
spring.Brick PETwill imtiallybeof-
fered m 4packs of 473 d(16 OL)
bottlesforappro~unatel~$9.75 Bnck
willfollowthiswithaBrewer's Doz'en
promotion where all 12-pack Bnck
family of beers(Amber, Premium,
LY'aterlooDark,Red Baronand For-
COURTESY OFBRICK BREWERYS
Simdar to glass bot-
tles, the bottle Plasticbottles coming to Canada.
affect the taste of the beer Also, like mosa) TwodisadvantagesoftheBrick
glassbottles itisbrown tintedto pro PETisthattheyarenotrefillableand
tectagainstUVbreakdownofthebeer the price At $9.75 for a 4pack, the
ThePETbottlealsohaslayeredprotec- priceishighper bottle, thoughlower
tmn technology to keep the carbon thancomparedtootherbeerspermit
dioxide in the bottle The PET beer volume.Porcompansons,afourpack
bottlehasn't beenonthe marketuntil of New Castle Brown ale is $7.95,
now because the technologyto keep Hemekenis$9.20,Guinnessis$995
the carbon dioxide m the beer from and Keith's is $7 80
lealung through the bottle and the Inthe next months Ontariobeer
crownwasn't fullydeveloped. drinkerswillmake the hnaldecision
P1asticbottleBnckbeerwdbeav;ul onplasticbottled beer.
Building our strengths
United Way campaign lucked off
ths week to raise money for 50
member charities.
Chris Ladouceur
SPECIALTO IMPRINT .
You may have noticed the
many balloons flying
around campus. Theywere
put up Tuesday, October 1
to kick off the United Way
Campaign Departments
have handed in their ideas
for fund raising events, In
hopes to make this a fun
event The fundraisingcam-
paign runs throughto until
October 31
The UnitedWayisanon-
profit organization
focussed on people's nceds
in our community.
Through fundraising they
help to support 50memher
agenciesandgive 45grants
to community organiza-
tions. Funds raised are in-
vestedin socialserviceagen-
cies throughout the ICW
area whichhelp family sup-
port services, independent
livingassistance for people
with disabilities, the home-
less, emergency help for
pcople in crisis,community
resources for seniors 'and
counselling support for in
dividuals and families
In order for the United
Way to raise funds for their
campaign, all ULV depart-
ments are askedto cokeup-
with an idea for a
fundraising event. The
fundraising events are re-
viewed by the UW United
Way office and are either
approved or disapproved
to run.
Lastyear the UnitedWay
smashed its fundraisinggoal
of36150000,raising$167657.
'Tricia Corrin, UW's United
Way representative said that
lastyear "wacky hair daywas
the biggest event,raising ap-
proximately $2,600 " Other
successful events include
money received from labcoat
sales, the Chili Lunch, a 50/
50 draw, Dress Down Day,
Bingo and various lunch-
eons
This year the United Way
hopes to raise $150,000
through events on campus
Events thus far include a
TIUTA (fashionand access0
ries)partyonOctober3,acam-
puswidedressdowndayonthe
4th, an afternoon dessert day
onthe9th,wac$hday onthe
llth, a dent auction from the
22nd to 25th from 9a m to
3pm,achocolate/coffeebreak
onthe 23rd,aTIUTA partyon
the 25thand aHalloween pot
luck&coatumedayonthe31st
The United Kay cam-
paign canalwaysuse thehelp
from people in the area.
0Contact Tricia Corrin
at the UW United Way
officeat888-4567,exten-
sion 3840.
0 For event information
you can visit their site at
www.~tedway.~terlOO.ca.
NLEATHOMA
Meter will be updated in comingweeks.

4. FRIDAY, OCTOBER4,20(
Housing: 100 beds and nowhere to sleep
Continued from cover tions,the university has yet to deter-
mine the main causes for the inordi-
;'henaskedvhy, the no-shows have
repeatedly mentioned receiving of-
fersof admission from other univer-
sities inlate August the Cnil-crsity
ofToronto,accordingtoClarke,made
approximately 2,000 to 3,000 addi-
tional offers of adinissioil at this
time. l~inancialreasons haw also
nate amount of empty residence beds
this term. ;'it11regard toempty beds,
Leanne O'lhnnell, director of resi-
dencelife said,"I would say normally
we hare, if you wailted to gil-e a
ballpark, anywhere beteen 15 and
30 in a normal !-car for ir-shows.
Some of those are first year sh~dents
whv decide iwt to come, who may
haregot alate offer somewhereelse,
bccn stated,a the no-show5 decided
to withdrav from C' and lir e at
home while attending umwrsity.
Upper-yrarstudents citevarious other
reasons; from findingcheaperhous-
mg, to decidingnotto return to UY.
upper yearswho, for some reason or
another, don't show. Some of thosc
may be intcmatioilal studcilts who
had full intention of cuming but had-
nsaissuea. Soit reall!- varies;we usu
allydon't hal-eracancics.Y7cusually
will ha-e the beds full, And if any-
thing, hare some studer~tswhohave
come in late to the sl-stem,or maybe
have recen-edlateoffers fromThtrr
4s housing isnot awareof the no
her, Clarkesaidpredictu~gthenumber
of beds a~mlableto returning stu-
Llents is "hard to manage.'' The ill-
creased nuinbcr of first-yearstudeilts
Many did not move into assigned rooms, leaving about 100 residencebeds empty.
has alsoreduced the number of beds
available to upper-pears. Tn addition
to the studci~t-illages,Beck1Iallm d
part .of Eby Hall in UT Place haw
bccn allocated to frosh.Clarke made
loo,who ha1en't becliplaced [inrcsi
dence]. Sowith those people we can
easily go back to that l~stand fill
beds."
"l'o be honest. I think the no-
offer [from LT1 based on thex aca-
demics.Their academics didn't meet
that offer. And so Yaterloo's offer
1,000students applied forresidence
"320 upper !ear beds" in Jmuary
2003. "T.e didn't rcalixcuntil later in
those numbers start to hurt foc
services as well." Yalkcr miiliiniz
the loss to food services, estimatii
it at "$55,000, half ofrl~ichis opc
atiilg budget." Neither O'Donn~
nor Y.alker produced documents
confirm these claims.
AccordingtoXalker, LITTlurssc
era1tentati'iecoursesofactioil topr
vent the situation in future yea1
including "better management ,
residence guarantees on condition
offers." Registrar T<en T,m-inge ar
director of admissions Pet,
Rurroughswere una~dableforcor
ment; both men were attending
meeting in Toronto aimed at dl
cussingapplicatmn system problcn
111 thc university system, iilcludir
the ones that haw led to LTX-'s sc!
dencemcancies.
The housmg office has been a,
vertisingthe fallvacancies, hoping
fill the empty beds, with a banner
the StudentT,ifcCentre,postings c
the SLC housing board, and a noti,
on their K'eb site. Using the onlir
forin is still the best way to applj-.
showswere comparable to prenous
years [l5 to 301," O'Donnell states,
without account for students who
had received late offers from other
univcrstties. Xhat accounts for the
extra 70to 100vacatlcies? "Students
was rescinded or not valid because the summerwhat the froshnumbers
were," she said, "They [housing]
didn't adhere to the strict deadline
which they told frosh." O'Donncll
masunable to confirm the ilumberof
itclearthat ilo first-yearstudcntsmere
turned awayfromresidence,although
refusals are coinmoil when it comes
toupper-!-ear students. SinceLabour
Day, however,20to 30studciltsham
walked into thehousing office and
the conditions weren't met.Sothose
people, frommyuildcrstanding,u7crc
fed into the computer system earl!.
mtth CT-cn-oneelsc."T'hcn askcdwhy
those students were not removed upper year studcilts or first year stu-
dents in residence, citingitasa "Gail
question."
.l'he financial impactofracancies
in residence are multifold.Accorchng
to Bud Talker, Housing has experi-
requested residenc~According tv
Clarke,allh a cbeen accommodated
Hut accordingtoBud Y. alker, di
rector of unn ersity business opera
in the system that shouldn't ha1.e
been," says O'Doimell. She states
that there were %very high number
of students who had a conditional
from the housing computer system
when L:T rescinded the offers of
admission, O'Donnell replied, "I'm
not sure of the timiilg of that, but I
h o w housing's timing on getting
those people as very late in the enced a loss vf "approximately
$180,000,"which accounts for"1per
cent of the housing budget," which,
althoughunfax-ourable,he calls"man
ageable " " ith that [loss]you also
summer."
O'Doilncll's information cou-
flicts with Talker's, who statcd that
normally, m the fall the "only empt!" *
385 Frederick Street Info line 896-3500 www.frederirktwin.com
beds are no shows," implying that have an issue with food services,"
said O'Donnell, "Hecausc they also
depend on those residence beds, es-
pecially in Village 1and Ron hydt
Village to be full. And now that they
vacancies aren't always filled. He
stated that the housing budget ac-
counts for this.AccordingtoYhlker,
"Housing overbooks residence to
JONAH,A VEGGIETALES MOVIE ...(F) ...nightly at 6 &
7:45 pm : Mats Sat. & Sun. 11 am, 1 & 3:30 pm
accommodate for no shows.': have the meal plan where each ctu-
Thc immbcr of upper Tear stu-
dents refused residence is unclear.
According to O'Donnell 800 and
dent isrespoilsibleforacertainadmm
cost tohelp cover the absolute cost of
operating the facillty then you h o w
IN STORESNOMI:

5. FRIDAY,OCTOBER4,2002 5
I have no tirne-
Theproblemwithvolunteersdirectorsandstudentsingovernance
The solution to this general
problem is for boards to hire an
employee to act as an evecutive
or a manager, or for at least one
elected officer to work full time
The student governments at '
both UW and W1,U have shown
they know the importance of
having full time executive
officers.
Although the formal organi-
zation of Pederation of Stu-
dents, incorporated in 1967 it
existed as Students' Council
CKMS has moved to over-
come the challenges that volun-
teer officers face While they may
not have done it in the best way
-by proposing a 10per cent
pay cut for other employees -
the Watcrloo Radio Inc board
moved to hire someone to
implement changes for them
They hired a full-time station
manager
It is difficult for a volunteer
director to loin a board wanting
to make a difference on the part-
time hours allowed of a full time
student Any volunteer to come
in and try to fight entropy and
the status quo will often burn
himself out trying to o~ercome
resistance One solution is to
affect the organization through
general governance and have a
full-time executive to take care of
the details, lust as many success
ful organizations, like the Feds,
have done
SaranyaYogarajah& ChrisLyon
SPECIALTO IMPRINT
World Religions Conference
OnSaturday, October 5th atJ G
IlagcyHall, HumanitiesTheatre,
the 22nd World Religions Con
ference will be held from 11 00
a m to 6 00p m Entitled 'World
Peace - What Religions Can
Achieve,"distinguished scholars
will be speaking on eight popular
beliefs Atheism, Christianity,
Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism,
Sikhism,Native Religionsand Is-
lam
Admission is free and meals
willbe provided For more infor
mation, and to reserve i our place,
pleasecontactthemformationand
public relations officer at
(519)620-1047 or email at
religions@canada com
Often student organizations
encounter problems when
student directors also hold
officer positions like president
since 1960and as such is a very
old group Early in its history,
council decided to startpaying
the president a salary instead of
having him work part-time as a
volunteer
The Feds have four paid and
elected officers asthe executive,
who all sit on the board of
directorswith five elected
volunteer councillors
The Wilfrid Laurier Students'
Union has three full time paid
officers
and treasurer. This means that
in addition to having a govern
ance role, they also play an
The Laundromatoperational role
Students, by their nature,
465 Phillip Street
Parkdale Plaza II
WATERLOO 885-3202
(cornerof Ph~ll~p8Albert)
have a higher priority for their
work hours school While they
have to be boss and supervisor
to their employees they are
oftenless experienced.
This can cause conflict in the
coinoperated laundromatwith attendants
STUDENTS: 20% discounton drvcleaningonly
U W Centre contribute to
Internet education project
organization.
It is difficult for the students
because they have limited time
and usually limited experience
For employees it is difficult
wash & fold service'ishoe repaii'ialteraGons-
We offer a cleanB friendh atmosvhere.Come B visit us!UK7's Centre for Learning and
Teaching Through Technology
(7.3'3) is involved in a $8.5-mil-
lion federal government plan to when your supevisor is not
around, may change more often
than every year, and doesn't
have a strong basis to evaluate
make education more accessible
across Canada, in both English
and French via the Internet. It
will provide a vast amount of performance
Thc outgoing board of Radio
Waterloo Inc ,which runs
CKMS, was criticized by a few
volunteers for its relationship
with staff Winsor Ryan was
elected to the Waterloo Radio
Inc board last week Before
voting he said, "I am deeply
concerned with the relations
between the board and staff and
if elected that would be my chief
learning content to educators in
an easy-to-accessform
The initial faculty community
willbe in heath sciences,but UW,
with the help of Universitb Lava1
andWaterlooMaple,willbework
ingto include amathtmatics fac-
ulty The project is expected to
finish adding faculties by March
2004
concern "
At Impnnt Publications, tasks
often fall to the editor-in-chief
or other employees, who don't
United Way campaign gets
underway
Tor the month of October, the
United Way of Icitchener K'ater-
loo and Area is aiming at raising
$ 5 d o n Their on-campus cam
paign is hoping to raise $150,000
Donors will be entered isto a
draw set for October 15to win a
day off and a $100 to the Univer-
sity Club
1he United Way encourages
donors to dress down on Friday
October 4 United Way stickers
are available from your depart
mental United Way representa-
tive orthe UW UnitedWay office
have sufficient authority to
perform In the past, boards
vary in the extent thej w~shto
be involved in minor decisions
Because of the board's nature
as volunteers, there has essen-
tiallynot been an effective
executive.
Over the years editor-in-
chiefs, being in charge of
editorial operations, have
difficulty bearing the extra
burden of organwational tasks
This then hurts the product that 133Weber Street.N
(nearBridgeport)
WATERLOO 746-4983the organizations produces: the
See Clips II,page 6 newspaper
{OURS:Mon.-Wed.9:30a.m.-8:00p.m. ;Thurs. & Fri. 9:30a.m.-9:00p.m. ; Sat. 9:00a.m.-6:OOp.m. ; Sun. 12:00-5:00p.w
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6. CKMS: UW'S radio
station turns 25
RadioWaterloo Inc. wdl have been on FM for a quarter century
Christine Louriero
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
C I W will be celebrating it's 25th
anniversaryinFM format at9:00a.m.
on October 15.student members of
UL1's campus radio station has re-
centlyelectedanewboardof directors,
andhas somebigchangesplarincdfor
the comingyears.
The CI(MS board of directors is
comprisedof sevenmembers,fourof
whtchmustbe students.Electionsare
held once ayear,with allmembers of
RadioL'aterloo Inc.,thecorporation
thatrunsCI(n/IS,areeligibletox-ote-
that means all L T undergrad stu-
dents who support CI(MS through
handles tech and administrative du-
ties at the station, cites a few reasons
for potentially changing the CKMS
advertising policy. As CICMS has
postcda financiallossforthepasttwo
fiscalyears and tentatijely projects a
lossofnearlg$10,000forthe nest, thc
estra income advertising provides
mould be helpful. Broadcasting and
productionequipmentatCKMScould
always use upgrading, said %'harrie.
,
1he stationis alsoconsideringpursu-
ing community fundraisingdrires.
Ninety-eight percent of CI(MS's
incomecomesfrom student fees,and
r(%arriesaysCI(MS,whosemandate
is to serve both the community and
UK',hasnoplans LOchangethtsmain
everyone."
Why support CKMS and Radio
Vaterloo?Bill'X'harrielikensCICMS
to servicesprovided by government,
butnotnecessarilyusedbyall.His tax
dollars,hesaid,areusedtocreatcmany
programs he doesn't use, but he still
believes them to be valuable to his
community.
Suchistherole he seesforCI(PfS.
r('hatmatters most toK%arrieisthat
students and the community at large
ha7.e the choice to tune into ClfilS,
just liketheyhavethechoicewhether
ornot topick up Tmprmteveryweek.
He saysthatCI<rvISdoesn'twant tobe
a station everyonecan listen to at all
times,but attempts to provide diver-
ancillaryfees,andan-gradstudentsor
community members who pay a $10
yearlyineinbershipfee(undergradstu-
dents get a bargainat $4.50).
'l'he boardof directorsmeetsoncc
a month or more, and oversccsgen-
craloperations of the station,mclud-
ingdevelopingC I M ' s newadvertis-
ingpolicy.
Asanot-for-profitcommunitysta-
tion, CICMS doesn't carry commer-
cials.Any ads you hear are personal
endorsements of the DJ.That might
bechangmgprcttys~on.BillY%arrie,
oneof CI(MS's fouremployees,who
funding formula, as it enjoys a good
relationship with UY' students who
take an interest in the station. UT'
students,according to Y?larrie,pro-
vide a good volunteer base. Eighty
percent of CKMS's expensesare the
salaries and benefits of it's four em-
ployees. A station manager is to be
added to the list on No-ember I,
increasingtheirexpensessignificantly.
RadioWaterloo has becn around
sincethemid-l96Os,andaccord~ngto
Y'harrie, their listeners,are "people
withadventurousmusicaltastes", their
target audience being "no one and
InternationalStudent Identity Card (ISIC)
rnAccess Student Class Airfares'" for Canada and
around the world
Save 35% on economyclass point-to-point tickets
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S a v e on attractions, hostels, and much more 1
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phone card servlce, ~ncludingdiscounted
long d~stance,voicemail, emall, online
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170 UniversityAve. West
886-0400
sigincontenttoits students.Aglancc
attheCI(MSprogramguidereaffirms
this; they cover many genres, from
spoken word, to cultural prograin-
ming,tolive rockperformances.
The CKMS website has a lot of
intercstingdctailsaboutthe station's,
including a history of Radio YTater-
loo's founding@mceSteele,ofCBC's
"As it IIappens" fame was once sta-
tion manager).C I M plans to mark
its25thanniversarywithaspecialday
ofprogramming.Consultthe CICMS
Web Site (watsen~l.uwaterloo.ca/
-ckmsinfo) for more details.
Campus clipsI1:
radio and doughnuts
Continued from page 5 crete sidewalk. We was airliftec
from Grand River IIospital tc
Outgoing board of Radio
Sunnybrook trauma centre whert
Waterloo, IN. having trouble
he is listed in serious condition
with volunteers
Police believe he was a lumberjack
Volunteers fromthe outgoingboard
of Radio Vaterloo, Tnc. seem to be
Krispy Kreme comes to
having problems with the full-timc
Kitchener
staff. At their general meeting last
Monday,ques- I < r i s p !
tions were - I<reme i c
raised by vol- o p e n i n g
untccrsabouta itsthird storc
salary cutback in Canada
for full-time this Norem-
employeesthat ber. 'l'hi:
were not yet implemented store 1slocatedinICachener, 800Ot
The board had plans to reduce tawa Street South, at the corner oi
the salancs of the four employees by Strasburg Rd and Ottawa St At th.
lopercent toproidcasalaryforanexv new location, they hope to hire l5C
station manager Questions were Icitchener-Tatcrloo reqidcnts
raisedastowhether thiswasatacticto I<remeI<oInc, the exclusiw arcade
weed OLI~ staff members from the vcloperforI<rispyI<remeiiiCailada
board. is hostinga job fair from October 1C
"Relations bctwcci~staffwerenot to October 12at theChandlerMowat
good,but therewasneveraneffortto Comn~unityCentre.
weed out staff," saystreasurer Frank I<nspylG.emeci~rend~~operate241
Scgleniclts. stores in 34 States aiad Canada. Ir
Accordingtothedi- unc of this year, ICrispy Kreme r e ~
rectors,Uadministra- ceix edtheirfirstfranchise agree^
tors had told them not inent outside of North
to revealstudentfeesun- America, p i n g them de-
ti1a station manager was velopment rights mAus
hired. 'l'he station man- traIiaandNcm Zealand
agerhas been hired to start l'roducing 5 million
November 12002. J doughnuts a day a i ~ c
more than 2 billion
Man falls on head
YVhile visiting two Uni-
versity of Yraterloo
friends, a 20-year-old
Saskatchewan man fell
from a utility pole he lishedin 1937-+
was climbing at Keats
% ay and Amos avenue At around
2 30 am on Saturday, September GeraldHagey is being
28, the man climbed eight metres
at Oktoberfest
-
up the pole but lost his balance This Oktobcrfest, the late JosepE
and plunged headfirst onto a c o n GeraldIIagey,oncofthe foundersot
the University of Vi'aterloo, will be
_ honoured with a commerative coin
lmprint Publications, Waterloo is hiring for one of
two paid positions available for the Fall term 2002.
The positions of Volunteer coordinator and Layout/
Design Manager will have a time commitment of
15 hours per week.
lolunteer coordinator:
-his person will contribute to the effectiveness of the organization by
elp ping to createan environment inwhich volunteers and section editors
:an perform, providing knowledge and resources. Helshewill aid in the
:reation of content, cultivating skills in volunteers through training
,essions. This person should have experience managing people, an
mderstanding of elements of journalism and excellent organizational
~ n dtime-management skills. Teaching experience is an asset.
.avout/Desian manaaer:
-his person will help volunteers efficiently put the paper together. He/
hewill aid section editors, improve visual design of their pages, as well
IS being responsible for organizing workshops to improve volunteer
roficiency with design and with layout. Proficiency with PageMaker 6.5
~ighlyrecommended.
:or more information, contact Imprint at 888-4048 or e-mail Magda
~t:editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca.
'l'hese $2coinswillbe le<pltcndcr ir
the I<-%'area during the month ol
October. Hageywas chosen for thir
year's coin because he is one of the
masterminds behind the Universiq
ofWaterloo. Hageyplayedakey rok
in the successofUWs renowned co
operativeeducation,engineeringanc
computer scienceprograms.
ESL Teacher Training Courses
Intensive 50-hour TESLcourses
Classroommanagement techniques
Detailed lesson planning
Skillsdevelopment: grammar,prouun-
ciation, speaking, readingand writing
Comprehensiveteachingmaterials
D Teaching ppracficum included
m Listingsof schools, agencies, and
reernitem from aroundthe world
For Mom InPo Contact Oxford k m l m
1-800-269-6719 / 4f 6-924-3240

7. PRIDAY,OCTOBER4,2002
Survivorgame returns to UW residences
Chris Lyon
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
FansofthereahtygameshowSunzW,d
haveaspec~altreatthisweekendSurvivor
iscommgtoUWs reqidences Well, not
theoffidCBSSuni'rptherthesccond
inmhentofSurvivor~Y~,~chi~dof
Vdage 1 don Adam Doyle 'Ihe h t
Swmor gameheorgdnrzedwasmJanu-
ary2002atCohunhlakeTownhouses
and w a approprmtelynamed S m o r
CLT.
SurvivorCLThadl3contestafltssplit
mtotwotribes Thetabeswere splitup
andeachforcrdtohvematapedaffsectron
ofadon'shng roomTheywereallaved
oneluxuiyitemeach,whichcouldhave
mdudedatoothb~~apillow,ab~
oranyother 'luaury"item Everythree
hours,both tnbeswen gatheredtotake
partmchallenges,eitherforimmunityor
forprvcs
ForthoseofyouunfafiliLarwiththe
'I'V show,the teamlosmganimmunity
challwmustattendtnbalcoundand
vote off one of theu team members
Oncemtnbalcounc~secretalllaficesact
togethertovoteoffweakertribe mem-
berj
Thechallengesarememttochallenge
both the m d and body Some of
Survivor CLT's challenges mcMed a
swmmmgchallenge,anendurancechal-
lengeandascavengrhunt,aswdasadon
quiz, a memgr gameand a spaghettt
tossmgdmnenge Oneofthechallenges
aaUany benefited the community the
food h e challenge had tribes gather
nm-perishables from the surroundmg
neghbourhccds to be donated to the
localfoodbank
' I h term's game, dubbed Survivor
UW,willrtmolveallthreev~rcslcknce
aswenasUWPlaceandCLT Thetwo
tribesareDopamush,whodbehmgm
&vi0ageldetem,andWahhwa,who
d b e h v m g m t h e RonEydt V&ge
o c a f e t e n a . 711etnbecoloursaxe
UWsgelbwandbIackrespeccmelySurvi
vor UW has 16 contestants &om all
iesidemes,ch0~enfrom55asopposedto
SurvivorCLTwhereonlyhad 13people
pBltmpated
Contestantsareallowedoneluxury
iterqplusallthefoodtheycanfitmtoa
Zplock bag Drinlungwater wdl bc
provided
1lmterm'sdnallengeswdlalsomvoh.e
acombmationofphysicalm'ght,iikethe
ptball,wallclimbandendurancechal-
lenges, mental strength, like the tmm
cp7es. and a touch of charity,hkc the
fooddrive Therewdlalsobecontestant
sponsorshrps,wherethecontebtantwho
coUectsthemostmmey~tsmcxtravotc
mTnbalComc11Allpmeedsgotothe
HeartandStrokeFoundattonofOntano
ThewinnerofSurvivorUWwdlre-
ceive$100cash,plus $25 on hts or her
W a t d S e c o n d p l a c e w m e n v ~ ~
$25onhsorherWatcardAllumte?tants
wdlreceweaT-hutforparticipating
SurvivorCLTswmrwasChmtme
I~umro,athenfiat yearpoliticalscience
qtudent She attributed her victory to
havmg formed h c e s , but mostly to
luck '7 wouldn'tchangeanythmgabaut
the way I played, but making h c e s
wasn't themostunportmtthing" %'hen
askedt o p esomewordsofadv~cetoh
term'sSun.mrcontemrm,qhehadthisto
say "Dowhat you have to do, even d
meanslyqtothcpcrsofisleepifignextto
you,ornmnmgasfastasyoucankn~king
onpeople'sdoorstoco11e~tfoodStaylow
and don't be brask"
SurvivorUWstambnday,October 4
at5.00~m.miWdmaeKlfigresidence
Thefinahhlc0ltndsOaober5at8pm
Meet the contestants of SurvivorUW
Tom Shelswell
Program: honours arts
Kesidence: BeckHall
Traits:relaxed,sarcastic,loyal
LxuryItem: deckof cards
GauravJain
Pmgram: computer science
Restdence: Ron Eydt Village
Tn& stngtng, swnpg siuclm&
h r y Ifem: guttat
JulienLaveau
Program: arts & business
Residence: Village1
T ~ e ~ l ~ t ~
IaxwryItem: Leafsjersey
AdriannaJohnston
Pmgrm:geography
Raidence: Eby Hall
T& obese, slothfulgluttonous
Luxuy Item: photo album
LauraGrant
Pmgrm: engineermg
Residence: Vdag 1
Trafi:eccentnc,loud,hungry
L m yItem: Mr. BigPig
Laurielle Brooks
Program: planning
hzdence: CLT
Traits: fun,outgomg,creative
LmyItem: sketchbook
HilaryBrown
Programhonoursscience
hszdenac Ron Eydt Village
T d c l n m n n g . o ~ o ~
h u yItem:chapstick
RyanWatldns
Pmgram: axs, applied studics
Residence: CLT
Trzfi: funny,fuendly,foolish
Lux'uty Itemr to be announced
SeanLauria
Pmgrm axts, applied s'tudtes
Reszdence: MKV
Tndr vnwms, s+ outgag
h 7 q IIm: Sllly Putty
JustinRidley
Pmgram: enviro &Bbusiness
Reszdence: Ron Eydt Village
Traitr: ?arcastic,funny,nice
LzlxxryItem: luckyfryingpan
SaraMurphy
Pmgrmn: psychology
Rf3Y47hlX Ron Eydt Village
Trzp~s:Clx&qchanunatr,loving
hoaryI . : deck of cards
Marie-PierPoulin
Pmgrmchem. enpeering
Residence:BeckHall
T~crazy,deterrmfied,c~
L x u y Item: deodorant
DerekAylward
Pmgrm:physics
Residence: UWPlace
Tr&:pasionate,carefree, social
L 2 u 9 Item: Yo-yo
LynGarrah
Pmgram. enwonmental studies
Residence. Village 1
Tnatr rug$, funny, adaptable
b u y Item. guitax
OskarLindhe
Pmgram: arts & busines3
Resirience:Village 1
Traits: outgoing, o q p d , h
L x u y Item: Wdkrnan
KrystenDoxtador
Program: unknown
Reszdence: MKV
T& kooky,friedy,c&
Lxuty Item: gotcha spoon 1

8. $..- FRIDAY, OCTOBER 4,21
WLU student Next week: bounteous bicycles
union is holding
its own
Neal Moogk-Soulis-
IMPRINTSTAFF
l h z Ia~t-1crstrikehas entered mtoits
:bird beck and the student union is
responding to the ongoing crisis in
i n ~ d ~the samewaythatitalwayshas.
".it th~spoint we're listening to stu-
dent's problems and trying to calm
;hem down," said Andy Pushalik,
president of the Glfrid Laurier U n -
Lessit! student union. The student
union has taken a neutral stance and
xcognizesthc. situation as a legal
labour dispute between the univer-
,ity and its employees. The student
&on has been in regular contact
vith both sides of the dispute.
Through talking to students and
!reading their e-mails, he student
lnion has received a clear message:
'I'eople areconcernedaboutthe strike
m d want it to end." Pushalik is
-ealisticwith regard to the situation
md ~vouldrather see an acceptable
deed than one that is rushed and
mpcrlciL.Tn aletter drafted to stu-
lents Pushaliksaid, 'T'e continue to
rsh both negotiat~ngteams to re-
,-aminetheir contractualproposals
,nd wrxl-. to find a compromise that
'~enefttsthe sh~dentsand the rest of
ihe Laurier community."
In the meantime, the student
union has been doing its best to
:neet the needs ofthe students. R%cn
students come to them with coil-
cerns, said Pushalik, the student un
ions trics to point them in the right
directioil. Students haw had clues-
tions rangng from courseselections,
tuition payments and health con-
cerns.
ICristiEdwards, VP of unirersit!
affairs for the studcntunion, posted
alist of sen-icesaffectedby the strike
on the K e b siteiw.clublaurier.ca.
The list puts a positire spill on the
labour disruption and in most case5
students are warned to expect delays
on a variety of service ranging from
atldeticsen-ices,registrar's sen-icesm d
parking. In addition, the student
union has been available to address
student concerns.
A ribbon campaign started at
1,aurier last mcck. The purple and
gold ribbons are worn by students,
faculty, staffand the administration,
Pushalik said. The goal of the rib-
bons want,% -.mind b ~ hsides ofthe
strike of the students ~ h oare af-
fected by the strike.
In the end, there is nowinner in a
labour disputeaccordingtoPushalik
"In a strike, no one wins; the staff
because the! are onthepicket line,thc
administratton becauqe of the bad
press; a i d the students becausc they
get stuck in the middle."
Pilesof pedalledpersonaltransportdevicesare lockedupoutsideof the mathand
computersbuilding.Nextweek,lmprint takes a lookatthe problemof overcrowd-
ing and what has been done in the past to addressthe issue.
P I EIN PEtosrr
I I OKTOBERFEST IS MERE!
October 11 to 19
Georgetown University
Michigan State College of Law
New York University - Universityof Miami
Universityof North Florida
Pepperdine University
Tulane University Law School U.C.L.A.
Thomas Cooley taw School PIUSSO MORE!
V61T OUR WEBSITE FOR COMPLETE LIST
WWW.PENNYBISSEIT.COM
Information Session
MACQUARIE
UNIVERSITY-SYDNEY
on Health & Chiropractic Stiadies at
Macquarie University,Sydney,Australia
Chiropractic is a drug free, non-invasive health care disci-
pline, utilizing adjustment of the musci.',!ar-skeletaland lieu-
rological systems to therapeutic benefit. Macquarie Univer-
sity, Australia's innovative university offers undergraduate,
postgraduate and research degrees in Chiropractic. To find
out more about Chiropractic study opportunties in Australia,
come along to our information session at:
University of Waterloo
Student Life Centre, room 2134
Tuesday, October 8,2002
12:OO - 2:00 p.m.

9. All lettersmustlncludea phonenumberfor
venf1cat1on,andshouldnotexceed300words.
Editorialgrab-bag
SPECULATIONS
Stress
'1he crowds of smilingfacesthat
descendedupon campusin early
Septemberaredisappearing Those
happy, relaxed studentstalkingto
theirfricndsin theSLCarequickly
becoming bookworms Camp5
con ersationshave turned from
parties and drinkmg to mtdterms,
labs and assignments
Yhat you'll quicklv (ifyou're
lucl~y)find out (ifyou're unlucky,
like mc, vou won't figure it out
untilyou graduate)ic that the key to
wccess is balance Just asyou can't
partv all the time,you also can't
studyall the time So relax, look
around, do what you enjoy Make
sureyou're euercising,partmpaWg
in campuslife and in your own life
Don't get down now, midterms are
just around the bend The price of
education
The price'deducation
Thc releaseof a report by the
CanadianMtllenniumScholarship
foundation entitlcdthe Priceof
Knowledge suggeststhat funding
might not be a barrier to post
secondaryeducation While I'm
definitelyin favourofanaccessible
post-secondarysystem,it seems
that many of us mlght be confusec!
about this whole accessibilitything
Gomg through co op allowed
me not only to make enough
monev for schooland living
eqenscs, but also to save enough
to support myself through post-
graduatework This mcanc that a
lot of the taxTapermoney that
fundcd my education 1snow in my
pocket Although T realizc this
makesme lucky,I'm certatnlvnot
the only student in this position
I suggestwe all need to think
about this differently.The summer
before I went to high school,I was
making$6.40an hour working at
thelocalgrocerystorej'Afterfour
yearsof school,myclassmatesare
likelymakingthree timesthat.
Obviously,somefinancialsacnftce
should be made in order to justify
this benefit. I suggestthat perhaps
accessibilitycouldbemaintainedby
cateringtuition to need, sothat
people likemyself could help f b d
an educationfor those lessable to
do so. Education is among the
most important resourcesof society
and we need to be creativeabout
ways to fund it. Consistentlycutting
fundingto educattonis clearly not a
stable situatiyn.We need to
seriously think about new funding
methods.
The state of housing
The bederation of Students'
resolution to stop negotiatmgthe
universal bus pass with the region
until the lodgmghouse restriction,
which h i t s the number of
studentsthat can live in ap e n area,
is removed has been met with harsh
words from the city. In an interview
withFedsvice-presidenteducation
RyanO'Connor Wednesday
morning,MayorWoolstencroft said
See GRAB BAG, page 12
MORT N' NEWTON
Lettersshouldincludetheauthofs yearaqd
prograrn,orfaculty positionwhereapplica-
ble.Allrnaterialissubjecttoeditingforbrevity
andclarity.Theopinionsexpressedarestrictly
thoseoftheauthors, nottheopinionsoflm-
Unjustifiedurbanplanning
Mike Kerrigan
COMMUNITYEDITORIAL
The response that Cityof Waterloo
MayorLynneWoolstencrofthas
given to students' challengeof the
75metre lodginghouse restnction
has leftme utterlyflabbergasted and
appalled Icompletelyrespect
differencesof opinionandif there
are legitimatercasonsto imposea
restrictionon the freedomof people
to livewhere they choose,Imay
acceptthem However,inthepast
fewweeks the justificauon of the
restrictionhasbeen entirelybased
on speciousarguments and utter
contempt for students
The position that the bederation
of Student7has takenis very clear
7he motton passed by council at its
last meetingstatcqexplicitlythat it
"opposes unequi>ocally"the 75
metre lodgmghouse restnction,
which limits the supply of housing
avalable for students and other
renters Despite the mayor'
assurancesthattherewere"in excess
of 100 [emptylbedslast term," the
summer term, Students' Council
believesthat this restrictionmust be
removed to provide enough quality,
affordablehousingnear the
wvcrsity for the growingstudent
population
In lastweek's Imprint,the mayor
describedus asbeing"self ab
sorbed" for our opposition to the
restriction Butin the faceof rising
rent, a growingnumber of students
who areunableto live close to the
UP ersity,andaprobablemcrease
inunlicensed housingmuch less
hkely to be adheringto fireand
safetycodeswhat shouldwe do?
Iobby foranother retirement
home?Few things that the Federa
tion of Studentsdoes can have as
directandlastingapositwe impact
on studentsas a successfulcam-
paign to remove the restnction
would Gwen that fact,we are
workinghard to put pressure on
the cityin avarietyofways and
through such bodies as the Feds'
Go~ernmentAffam Commission
One of the fa rationales
provided by the mayor for the
restriction,besidesthatkeeping
students~eparatcd"controlc
agressweness," is oncpredicated
upon certainsocialtheorists'bclicfs
that, in ordcr to form a sense of
commumtj,we need to have of
peopleof allages,incomelevels,
occupationsandlifestylesmtxmg
together Further eutendingthat
argument to its lullits, Mayor
W'oolstencroft statedindefenceof
cityplanningpoliciesthat "if you
have a neighbourhood full of old
people, then you have too many
ambulancecalls [to that area] "It is
alarmmgthat the goalof the city's
planningpolicies is to produce a
perfectlyheterogeneouspopulation
Friday, October 4 -Vol. 25, No. 12
StudentLife Centre, Rm 1116 F: 519.884.7800
IInivemity of Waterloo 1': 519.888.4048
Watedoo, ON, NZL IGl imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Produchon staff
Tesste Abraham, Adnan I Chm Janice Jlm, Torm
Turmm, Can Mason, LIZNguyen, Wdl Peter,, Saranya
Yogaralah, Phtl~pWener
Editorial Staff
Edtor-in-chief, hlagda Kon~eczna
cditor@rmpnnt.uwaterloo.ca
Ass~stantehtor, Dave Harsam
Photos, Ddmd Capper
Ass~stantphotos, vacant
Graphics, Tyler Thomas
Xsslstant pphlcs, vacant
Web, vacant
Asststant web, LIZ hlarton
Systems a h . , Slmon Law
Ass~stantsystems admin., vacaht
Lead proofreader, Neal Moogk-Soulis
Proofreader, Danlel Dharmasnrya
Proofreader, Ashley IGkade
Proofreader, Adele Pearce
Proofreader, Jason Yu
Office Staff
Bnsmess mandger, Cathy Bolger
cathy holger@rmpnnt uwaterloo ca
idvertising & production manager,
Laune Tlgert Dumas
ads@lmprlnt uwaterloo ca
Adverh5mg assistant, vacant
D~stnbuuori,Glnla Padhy
D~stnbuaon,Rachel Valks
Board of Directors
board@lmprmt uwaterloo ca
President, Rnan Code
V~ce-prcs~dent,Fehx Yip
Treasurer, Phkp Werner
Secretary, Kourtney Shoa
Staff hason, ]&an Ichim
staffhatson@~rnpnntu a atedoo ca
Impnnt1sthe officld student newspaper of the Unlvers~ty
of Waterloo It IS an erlltonally rndependent newspaper
pnbhshed by Impnnt Pubhcatlons, Waterloo, a corpora
hon without share capltal Impnnl la a mcmbcr of the
Ontaao Comrnun~tyNewspaper hssoclahon (OCN4)
Editonalsubmsslonsmaybe consideredforpubhcationm
any emtion of Imprint lmprinr may also reproduce the
material commercdy m any format or medmm aspart of
the newspaper database, Web slte or any othcr product
&ved from the newspaper. Those submmnged~tonJ
content,includmgart~cles,letters,photosandgraphics,wdl
grant Impnnr first publicahon n#~tsof d~errsubmitted
matenal, and assuch, agreenot to submit the same work to
any other publication or group unul such nme as the
matenal has been mstnhuted in an tssuc of Impnnt, or
Imprnfdeclaresthelnntentoottopubl~shthemateual.The
full test of this agrrement~savdable upon request.
that is statisticallyhomogeneous
throughout the city
Rather than attemptmgto
restructure thepopulation of the
citytomatchablanketserviceplan,
the city shouldallow communities
to form among groups that wish
to h e together,be theythe elderly,
students or suburbanites,and
allocateservicesaccordinglyIfa
largepocketofelderlypeople
forms,thenambulance services
should be expanded to that area In
a student domnated neighbour
hood, the bylaws that alreadyexist
to ensure housing quality should
bemoreregularlyenforced
Further, by attempting to
legislatesocio-economcdixersq,
thc cityhas evacerbatedsomeof the
poor relations that existbetween
student? and other communiq
member5 Studentsha e ddferent
lifestyles than homeowners
Activities thatwould rarelyupset
an)one ina student area l a t e
night conversationson the porch,
coucheson the lawn,pre Bomber
gatheringson a Iednesdaynight
4 a n be cutrcmely upsettingin an
cstablishedneighbourhood It is
reasonable for acommunity
member to be upsct at the disrup
tion, but it is also understandable
that students accustomed to living
aparticular lifestylewouldget
See BYLAW, page 12
Impnntdorsnotguarnteetopubllsh arhcles,photographs,
lettersor advertis~ngMatendmaynot be puhhahed, .rt the
dscreaon of lmpnnt, if that matenal 1s deemed to be
l~belousor m contravention w~thImpnnfs pohcles mth
respect to our code of eth~csand lourndisac standards
Impnnt IS pubhshed every Fnday dunng fall and wmter
terns, and even second Fnday dunng the spnng term
Impnntreservcs the nght to screen, edit and refuse adver
hung One cop).per customer Impnnt ISSN 0706 7380
Impnnt CDN Pub Ah1 Product SJe Agreement no
554677
Next staffmeemg: Monday, October 7
1230pm,SLC1116
Next production night: Wednesday, October 9
5:30pm, SLC 1116

10. FRIDAY, OCT(BCR4,2003.
Money makesthe world
go round
campus questions, causcd him such Illegal Laws dealii~-itlithe ksue oF.ei-lx~lharass-
ment in Yxterlo<~.T -a inti-igued to
tlicrc.
If the electecl p ; d x n e n ~.:IS dl.;
.;ol cti ,~ncircplnicd !I! n (11 hncl<eti
1!.rx11tr h o -r~ulilbe i~pplleclI 1t11 olutions, not rants
/ IJRend h e r c s ~: ~ fhis eel,': 1
/ lertcr.; on our el2 site at
/ YVTY lil1~lrIil~~l~xtet.looC'I

11. FRIDAY,OCTOBER4,2002
Is America just another dumb ho?
some tcrrtble fi)rcigtipollc! blunders -some
m.91,orhers embell~shedt,r tmagned Rut
nnnc ~ ) frheni p c ~ tLcs whar h:tppcneJ nn
Sptcmber 11. So vIi). impl! onc cauhed the
other; Sowhat;
'Io th~,end. In frtend dnd nevl~-ap
It's that tune again -time for one of those
respond-to-your cnticscolumns Thistime
the topic is September 11- and at leastI
seem to be dealqg with peoplewho aren't
venturingto "blame" America
Hold on I'm not so sure In a letter last
week, Nadeen Kamalwas carefulto assureus
all that terrorismmn't "justified," but
promptly statedthat "injustice willinevitably
resultinnegativefeedback"Negative feed-
back>Aletter to the editor-that's "negative
feedback " Apparently,mass murderis just
furtherdown the continuumof "negative
feedback"It's alljust proportionateto the
initialoffence,of course
Allow me an analogy A scantily-clad
woman heads out to the bar She struts
around, flauntingthe goods Libidos rise
That ntght, walkinghome, she is raped by
one of the men she teased earlier on Now,
using the America-is to-blameorthodoxy,we
get the following she didn't deserr~eto get
raped, but she is, ultimatclp,responstbh for it
Sure,dressingup likeawhore isviewedby
many people as tasteles And it may mdeed
'provoke' certainbehaviourin men But
regardless,it never, etsrmeansthat rape is
lustified No one would dare suggest it And
it also doesn't mean womcn should be
restrictedtoonlywearingcertaindungs smply
becauseoftheprovocativeeffectrisquCclothes
have Just because they get all hot and
bothered doesn't releve men of the responsi
bdltyto controlthemselves
Thisis an exactparallel to the argument
thatAmericanforeignpolicyisthe root cause
of terrorism No doubt,America has had
, .
pointed columnistChris Edey weighed in
with a condensedlist of America's Wddle
Easternmissteps It's qulte the rap sheet (FIe
even notes that America screwedup by not
knockingoff Saddamlast time -so of course
it shouldn't try to correct that mistake n o d )
Anyway,just one question for Chns what's
the connection to September 11>Sure,lotsof
peoplehate America,but onlya sliverof them
turn into mass murderers. Many others-
Edeyforexample-canoffercriticismand
stimulatedebate without resorting to
terrorism, sowhy apologizefor extremtsts
who channeltheir angerintomurder?-
Here's a funnyquote fromlastweek,
courtesgofEdey "America, responsiblefor
the terrorist attacks?No Responsible for the
rismg tide of anti-Americansentunentaround
the globe?Yes "
Clearly,Chrisis not in math He takesgreat
pains to demonstratethat A (America)causes
B(anti-Americanism)which, he implies,
causes C (terronsm) Yet he insiststhat A
doesn't cause C Huh?
Th~sis exactlywhat I wrote about two
weeksago-ascribing blame,without actually
sayingso If you thmk September 11is a
consequenceofAmerica's actions,itmeans
America is to blame Solust saya1Alterna-
tively, if you do not thmk so and wish to
assess~menca'kforeignpolicy,whateverits
successesand failures,it shouldnot be citedas
an excuse for terrorism,nor discussedin the
September11context
That has been my point from the Legm
ning I am not gomg to apolope for
Americanforeignpolicymstakes Iamgomg
to msist thatwhateveras faults,America did
not manyway, shapeor form deserve to be
attacked Period.
Gaydar: the homo-homing device
player with a friendof mine Everyoneknows
that Future Shopis notorious for a staff that
latchesontopotentialcustomersmhopes of
makinga good commission,sowhen a young
male employeeapproachedme, Iwas fully
prepared to be harassed intoa sale.Strangely- -
enough though, thls particular employeewas
more personable (and touchable)than I had
UNDEFEATED
been accustomedto and soit did not takevery
longfor me to realize that I was In factbeing
pickedup. I ended up leavingthe storewith a
Aside from "How long have you known?" I
w d d say that the questionpeople most
oftenaskwhen they find out that I amgay is
"How do gay people meet," It is a question
that I think boggles the minds of all
heterosexuals,includmgmy parents for that
&atter In the countless times that I have
been asked this question,I have never
respondedwith anadequateanswer
Thisweek's articlethen is for all of you
who have ever questtoned,wondered,
inquiredandpondered the way inwhich men
and womenmeet and attractothers of the
same sex,the way mwhich agay man or a
lesbian mght go aboutattractmganother
whom he suspectsto be gay m a w e d
setting,without getting a slapm the face!Yes,
ladiesandgentlemen,thisweek's articleis
aboutgaydar
A fewyearsback, Iwasperusingthe asles
of Future Shoploolungfor a portable CD
-
phone numberinstead of a CDplayer
The employeehad used his 'gay locating-
device' totrackme down He cunningly
observedmy clothmg,my hair, my shoes and
my mannerismsall man effort to
stereotypicallydeterminemy sexualorient&
tton He then communicatedm avery subtle
way his interestmdatingme, slowly testing
thewaters to firstdetermineifhe was correct
mhis assumption and then to judge if the
feelingwas mutual In return, I used my own
gaydarto determmeif he was gayhimself
And it had worked I left the storewith a date
for that sameevemng
V'hileeffective,theproblemwithgaydaris
that it is based purely on homosexual
stereotypes This meansthat in order for
gaydarto be successfu1,gaypeopleneedto
adopt stereotypicalbehavioursand habits to
makelocatingandbeinglocatedeasier.Ihave
heard countlessstones of youngmen and
Who killed the UN?
cannot funcrt~mu hen t t i crelht)iltt.and 1t5
budget are conr~nuoi~.;l!~;trr:tcheilfrom
V nshiiiatoti 1>.('.
Suspect2: the Arab statcs-'I hr.,~cut^ r
hnvc coni~ntirl-abusedrl~cI(,uJ ,,tee of rhc
I .S t o ic~)tupn)p,tK.~n~hpotnt.;apnhr Iir,tel.
MAPS AND LEGENDS
October26,1945 musthave been aday of
high excitementand idealism It was on that
daythat the Umtcd Nations was createdout
of the ashesof acataclysmicwar,usheredin
with aprophetic mission to "save succeeding
generatiomfrom the scourgeof war,vhjch
twice m our lifetune has brought untold
sorrowto mankind "It was a grand project,
designed to apply the samededication the
world demonstratedin defeatingtyranny to
promotinghuman fights,justice and social
progress
Morethan halfa centurylater one just has
to wonderwhat has happened Manynatioris
of theworld openly flaunt EN declarations,
peacekeepersareroutinelyabused,humiliated
andworse (theyaren't evenmthe places
where they are most needed) and in some
cornersof the globe the causes of human
rights,justice and socialprogresshavegone
backwards fromwheretheywerein 1945 The
only thing that the UN seems to be good at
anymoreisorgamnngreallybigconferences
where the nations of the world assembleand
vigorouslyblame one anothcr for the sorry"
state of the planet
It certainlydid not have to be this way So
the mysteryis who killed the UN, Likeany
good mystery there a number of suspects
IIere's the short list
Suspect1:theUnited States-The
foundmgmember of the UN seems to take a
specialdelightm torturingit It doesn't pay its
membership dues, tries to dominate all .
decisionsand ignoresanythingit can't control
It uses the UN when it is convementand
dscards itwhen,ais not The UN simply
women that have come out of the closet,only
to quicklyadoptthe typical"look" and
"hfestyle" of a homosexualperson The
abmptnature of these changesseemsto
alienate frieodswho areunabletounderstand
why "Joe" now goes by "Joey" andwears far
moreBananaRepublicthaneverbefore.What
they don't realizeis that 'yoey" has changed
his habits fora reason Subconsciously,"Joey"
knowsthat by dressingand actmgthis way he
will easilyattractthe attentionof other
In the 1970s,they successfullypushed for the
UN todeclareIsraeltobe aracist stateand
then turnedthe 2001World Conference
Againbt Racismmtoan ugly displayof racism
and anti semitism of which old Adolf would
have becn proud This sideshow has consist
entlyprevented the UN fromplayinga
constructiverolein secumgpeace forthis
region (the UN's raison d'gtre)and has made
the entire organuation look fidiculousin the
eyesof many In all fairness,Israelhas not
donethe UN any favourseither
Suspect3:suicide-The membership
of the UN Commissionon Human Rights
includessuchparagonsof moral enlighten-
ment as Syria,Sudan, SaudiArabia and,wait
-Limbahve too I'm sure Saddam
Hussem's membership got lost m the mail A
worldwhere human rightsarepoliced by
dictatorsandmurdererswillnever seereal
freedom Credibilitydestroyed
Suspect4?China-That atotahtarian
governmentthat has apolicy of runmngtanks
overits ownpeopleisaccordedanequalvote
todemocrattcstatessuchasBritainandFrance
on the Secunty Councilis a fundamental
contradictionof the UN's goals
Suspect5: everyone else-Every
member of the UN that has watched its 50
yearsslideintoirrelevanceandmediocrityand
not sad anythingcannotescape someof the
responsibility
Theverdict: we're all guilty-That's :right, throughahalf-centuryof selfish
behaviour on the part of the countriesof the,
globe (some much more than others),we
haveconspiredtocompletelywreckthe
'
organi~ationdesigned to secureaprosperoui
future for all Towatch it struggle on, in its
wallungdeath,is the saddestpart of all
homosexualmen He will stand out in a
largelyheterosexualcrowd
Inessence,gaydarisacrucialandnecessary
part of livingas a gayperson. It makes
random run ins and pick-upspossible for
even the queer communityand lessens the
mportance of gaybars and o&e chat rooms
And that,my readers, is how gay people 1
meet.Thankyou (insertcurtsey).
VIRGINbut not!
UWORIES CAN BEGREAT, BUTW ~ E NT H ~ ENOT...
THE BEAT GOESON. UNLOADYOUR MEMORIES,

12. FRIDAY, OCI'OBER 4,2002
Bylaw: let students live together
Qualitydemands efficiencv Continued from page 9
Will Peters
COMMUNITYEDITORIAL
administrations to make agree-
ments with the private sector in
exchangeforfunding The recent
dealwith Microsoft isa glamg
example 'Shese deals areapoor idea
for many reasons One malor
reason is that it compromises
academicintegrity IntheMicrosoft
case, students will be forced touse
anotherofMicrosoft'sinferior
softwaretechnologies C# Another
problem with these agreements is
that theycompromise freespeech
Universitiesare supposed to be
bastions of free speech E'hen deals
are made with the pmate bus1
nesses,what Noam Chomsky and
HowardZinn call"self-censorship"
is silentlyinstitut~dPeople, in this
casefaculty,cometounderstand
that there are certainthingsthat it
wouldn't do to say Specifically,in
the UY case,c r i t i c i s i ~ ~ ~ c r o s o f t ,
acompanywhchery much needs
to be critic17cd,wouldbecome
somethmgunacceptable
The obvious solution to this
problem governments shouldn't
underfund education Ignoring this
obvious solution, wversity
admmstrations are forced to both
find other sourcesof income and
severely"tighten thebelt "borced
retirementsanddifferential feesare
two outcomes
I propose an additional method
forconsideration amalgamateUY'
and WLU It's a poor idea to have
two separateuniversitiessoclose to
one another
Therearemanyadvantagesto
such an amalgamation If done
properly, it couldcreateamore
efficientbureaucra~~,thatis,fewer
resourcestakcnupbybureaucracy
and a h s t r a t t o n It would
enhanceacademicprograms
Duplicateprograms couldbe
elimtnatedand the resources from
the lesserprogram could be used to
enhancethe better program ata
particularschool For example,
computer scicncc,mathand science
atLauner couldbe transferred to
UY' U%'s economtcsdepartment
couldbe transferred tol2auner'sVery
reputable Schoolof Business It
m oddremovebarriers,hence
opening up more educational
opportumties for students at both
schools It may produce more and/
orbetterresearchcollaborations
Small,informal stepshave
alreadybeen takenin thedirection
of amalgamation The two libraries
alreadyshareresources,%'aterloo's
Scienceand Businessprogram sends
students to Laurier's Schoolof
Business for courses, to name just
two Overall,amalgamationwould
resultina better use of resources
and helptoalleviatethe financial
stressesthat umversiq administra-
tions are sufferingfrom
frustratedwhen aresultsinfrequent
noise complamtsorpolicecalls,
because of their inabilityto livem a
student area If students were
allowedto livenear eachother if
theywish, suchconflictswith
residentswould begreatlyreduced
Despite the factthat the 75metre
restrictioncausesalackof housing
nearthe umversity,a decreasem the
qualityof that housmg,increased
rentandunnecessaryconflicts
between students and others in the
communtty, the mayor dresses up
thecity's grand socialenpeering
project mpoliticalrhetoricthat
allows her to claimthat she's
combattmgwhat she describesas
"the disruptiveness of student
housing "Perhaps the self ab
sorbed ~tzdenfsare not the problem
Mzke Kerngan i~fi,n'J V PIt~terncd
1he Conservativegovernment of
Ontanois underfunding education
As a result, there is a lot of financial
pressure on OntanowTicrsities A
parallelsituationis happeningwith
health care Due to thrs
underfunding, universitya d m s
trations arebeing forced torely on
other sourcesof income
Besidespublic funding,there are
onlytwo sipficant sourcesof
income for the university illition
and the private sector I he obvious
cffectof underfunding education is
that wversities will have to raise
tuttion to mmtain the quality of
education,essentiallytransferring
the cost of education to students
The Tories know this and it's m line
with their phdosophy -that
students benefit from their educa-
tion and therefore should pap for it
1his is shallow and short-
sighted No person is an island, we
lim in a societyand one person's
acbonsusuallyhavean cffecton
others It isn't simplythe individual
that benefits from his education,we
alldo Similarly,we allsuffer from a
poorly educatedsociety Ina
howledge based society,under-
fundingeducationisacnticalerror
The other problem with under
fundingis that a forcesunmersiw
Grab-bag: shorts
Continued from page 9 Fundraising
that she was "astonished at the
idiocyof student councillors."
The urgencyof dealingwith this
housing rcsolution secms to be
growingwithevery day.Previously
it seemed to me that this issue was
but a misunderstanding on the part
of the city
This no longer seems to be the
casc.The whole issue has brought
up all lunds of ugliness in our
electedrepresentatives.I'mnot sure
what unfortunate experiencehas
causedthe mayor to feelthisway
about students.Whatever the casc
may be, it seemsthat dealingwith
this housing resolution will involve
convincingthe mayor that,students
haw rights, too.
TheannualunnersityUnitedK'av
campaignis on thego,withpromises
ofwackyhair,potlucks,silentauctions
costume and drcss down days
E w e the campaignis agreat
way for theuniversitytogiveback
to the community, it does little to
get the community and such
charitable fundrasingmight be
effectiveto fund suchorganizations
involvedin the relatedissues.
It's relativelyeasyto throw
money at problems and imagine
you've done your part to solve
them. What's more difficultis
actuallybang involvedm the
solutions
The source of spirituality
been h a m g a lot of trouble writing
this column Ylere am I supposed
to find spiritual-typeadvice>And
w d I actuallyhave to get up from
with "Do you sometimes feel
confused, stuck or just need mner
peace?"Yaw,thesepeople really
can help me There is evena link
called"you areamazmg "I reallyamS www.ouac.on.ca/omsas/
MedicalSchool Application Service
for registering for on-line applications
15, 2002 Application deadline
OLSAS www.ouac.on.c
Ontario Law School Application
November 1, 2002 Application deadline-f
May 1, 2003 Application deadline- uppe
my couch to do so?
Hmm.Maybethe Internet can
help me. Google.comhas never
failed me before. Y,%en1type "I
need spiritualadvice" in the Google
searchengine,it givesme back a
page called"WolfsongEnchant-
amazing!I wonder what is behind
this link called"For Men Only."
Okay, that was a bad idea.This isn't
spiritualadviceatall.I don't care
about "sex toys she'll like," and
FINDING BALANCE
People alwaysaskmewhere I get
the spintual inspiration for this
column Well, today I am going to
divulgemy secret You see,I have a
veryprecise systemforwntlngthese
arttcles
Here ismy secretspiritual
method Cvcrynight before the
lmpnnt submission deadline, I
watch an old rerun of k h g Fw The
I~gendContzmes You SCL,many
people dismissthis show as cheesy
and low-budget 1hose who are
truly spirituallywise,home%er,
know that Kwai Chang Kane is a
spiritual mastermind
Now that those old Gng Fz.
The l~gendCowtznrer reruns don't
come on television anymore,I have
how w d knoxvingthat gw me
mnerpeace,anyway>
The Internet was a bad idea.I
don't know what I am going to do
now. How will I wnte the remam-
ment-Psychic Readingsand
Spntual Advice "This must be
what I am loolung for Vow1 I am
glad I found this page It tells me
hov.7 to "discover the magic and
mysteryof SedonaVortcxcslnThere
is a picture of the moon with a
wolfs face superimposed on it
Everyone should msit
ingarticles I promised for the rest
of this term? I am sorry to say ths,
computer science students,but
maybewecan'tachievcinncrpeace
by surfing the Tnteinet 1am not
w w m wolfsongenchantment com'
Checkout this good advice "With
Groundhog medicme,you can
prospcr and findyourplace m the
Sun " I ake that, Kwai Chang I<anel
sure, but I just get that feeltng
%ere can 1find good spintual
advicethat doesn't sound like
something you'd find ma cookie at
aChineserestaurant>Cananyone
TEAS www.ouac.on.ca/teas/
Teacher EducationApplication Service
1 and time!
ion deadline
Let's seewhat is at the next page out there help me?
Peace.
- -
Google recommends. This page is
callcd~*ww.everevol~~in~.com.'Ihis-
sounds cheesyand spiritual.It starts
ORPAS www.ouac.on.ca/orpas/
Ontario RehabilitationSciences
ApplicationService
(Aud~ology,Occupational Therapy.
Physical Therapy/Physiotherapy,
Speech-Language Pathology)
January 15, 2003 Application deadline
NUMBERS 6AME

13. FORUPTO DATEEVENTMSTINGSAND MOREINFOCALL888-4042ORVISIT WHMImFEDSmCAI
Feds Help Wanted
Ground Zero Kitchen Staff
Tues, Weds - loam - 2pm
Aussies retail sales
Tues, Thurs - 11am - 2pm
or 2pm - 5pm
Town Hall Meeting
Want to know what our Feds are up to? Have some questions to ask? The Feds will be
holding a Town EIal?h4eeting in the SLCGreat Hall Tuesday 8 October at 430 m.
Members of the Fqds ~xecutiveand Students' Councilwill be ,sitting on a pane?to
addressthe following issues: How to s end the $500,000 Clanca Funds Surplus, the 75
metre Lodgin House Restriction and gtudents' Council's Response and the rogress of
the Waterloo Eampaignexpans~ons.Students are welcome to attendto hear tieir
representatives speak about these issues, as well as to ask questions. Please contact
CouncillorAndrew Dilts at andrew@feds.cafor more information.
Living in poor quality housing?
Is your landlord a slumlord? The Feds is interested in hearing about your concerns and
drawing them to the attention of the City, as part of its ongoin campaign on student
housing avadabil~tvand auahtv. Please contact ~overnmentWffairs Comm~ss~onerChris
Edey aTgac@feds.ka to share your experiences!
@ FED Hall
Villa ehausen Friday October 78th
~ R o b e r f e dSaturday October 79th
Tickets on sale NOW in the FED Office
f * ,<?Wf+,
.,#
$6 for FEDS and
@>$8 for non-FEDS

14. FRIDAY,OCTOBER4,2002 page 14
Features =&tor xacant. Feahxes assatmt Natalra Shvedkovrka.feahlrer@unpnnt uwaterloo ca
The hiddenparadise of Borneo Island
Dan Reiter
SPECIALTO IMPRINT
Many students consider teaching as
one of their career options and a
numberofthemlook fonvardtoteach-
ingoverseas
Inkeepingcloserehtionshpswith
itsalumni,theUniversityofVaterloo
can offer English co-op students the
opportunity to teach at Inti College
Sarawak in Kuchmg, located in the
state of Sarawakin Malaysia on Bor-
neoIsland. Themanagmgdirector at
Inti College, V&am Tan, is a 1982
UWmath graduate. Through UW's
contact with Inti's human resources
department,itwas decidedthat every
fourmonths, one ortwoUWEnglish
majorswouldmakethetriptoMalay-
sia to teach as part of Inti's English
improvement program. The gumea
pigcandidatesforthefalltermof2002
areShaunSmithandmyself,both 3A
WK' majors.
Travellingtoanewplaceand start-
inganewco-opjobis alwaysexciting,
but having the opportmity to go to
anothercountryto startanewjobmay
be aonce inalifetimeexperience.
hlalaysia is rich with culture and
traditionandmuchlikeCanada,ithas
greatculturalcLversity.Apartfromthe
oddtourist,therearemanynon-Malay
people who reside in Sarawak year-
round. They hail from all parts of
Borneo Island, Southern Asia, Aus-
tralia, Canada and the United King-
dom.
BorneoIslandislocatedjust north
of theequator,makingMalaysia's clt-
mate much different from that of
Students pose in the communalshower.
Canada. Adapting to clmate change
can be a problem for some people.
Smith said, "I was expecting the
weathertobeveryhotallthetimeand
that I would be there duringthe rainy
season, so I was expecting some
stormyweather, too. Tlen I arrived
I foundthattherewasahazeinthesky
which was affecting my breathing a
little bit and that the thunderstorms
sounded like explosions." The haze
is a result of intentionally set forest
fires m Indonesia, which arc seen as
the cheapestwayto clear the land for
agriculture, but the haze only lasts
from August to October.
Smithhas alsohad alot of time to
meet manyof the localsand hasbeen
thoroughlycxq-~osedto theMalaysian
culture. 'The localsareveryniceand
veryfriendly,butitcanbealittleunset-
tlingto have them stare atyou all the
time." Few European and North
American tourists pass through
ICuching,asthemajorityofthemtravel
toI<ualaLumpur,whichisMalaysia's
cavitalcitvand home of thePetronas
Twin Towersand manyothertourist
attractions.
Outside of the tourist areas,lifein
Malaysia 1s different from that in
Canada. The manvtribesofMalamia
are very prominent and their tradi
tions hare not been lost toglobaliza-
tion. Many tribalpeople live outstde
ofmampopulatedareasinKampungs
(villages)with their tribes. Some of
the tribesthat reside in Sara~vak,Ma-
laycia are the Iban, Orang Ulu, and
Bidajuh. The Iban tribe 1sthe most
famousofthe tribes. Ttsmembersare
known asthe legendaryheadhunting
warriors of Borneo. They have now
abandoned their headhunting ways
and areknown fortheirbenevolence.
The OrangUlu,or literallytranslated
"upriver people," are the largest of
Sarawak'stribcs.OrangUluisaphrase
used to group together many local
tribes. They number about 100,000
andareresponsiblefor5.5percentof
Sarawak's population. Originally,
Orang Ulu was a name given to the
Kayanand Kenyahtribesand smaller
neighbouringtribeswhlchincludethe
Kajang, I<cjaman, Punan, Ukit and
I'enan. It also now includes many
groups that retain a s~milarculture.
TheBidawhorlgmated fromthewest
of Indonesia and have the biggest
population in the hills of Bau and
Sertan.Theyalsohaveaheadhunting
past but are mostly known for being
averygentleand peace-lovingpeople.
Surrounding lcuching are several
national parks and culturalareas un-
touched byTestern civilization,are-
freshingchange from the barrage of
computerized information that can
be found inthe city.The countryside
is mostly dense rain forest, sparsely
separatedbyriversandaccentuatedby
beautifulisolatedwaterfalls.
Deadlypredators suchaspoison-
ous snakes, spiders and jungle cats
keep their distance from populated
areas, but can be found in the sur-
roundii~gilationalparksand rain for-
est.
"I haven't seenanygiantspidersor
huge snakesyet, just little ones. 'l'he
mountains and the rain forest arc
unl~keanything I've ever seen. 'l'he
colour and beautyof the rain forestis
incredible," Smith said. Wile thcrc
are many guided tours and tourist
arcastovisit,Smithbelievesthat,"go-
ingplacesthat most touristswouldn't
go might be a little more dangerous,
butwe get a chanceto see thingsthat
tourists wouldn't get to see." It is
important to dopour homework bc-
foreleavingforthewildernessonyour
own. Malaysiaisthelandofthehead-
hunters and although the tradttion
of beheadinghaw faded away,mod
erndayterroristshavetakenoverwhehen
the headhunters left off. America
touristshavebeenvictimsof aterror
1stgroup known as "Abu Sajyaf."
Smith is also very focused on hi
co-op job as alecturer. "Thegreates
challcngcT'XT found so faris figwin!
outwhat todofortheclasses.Iwasn'
really told what to do or anythinp
Another challenge I find is trying tc
figure out the relationship I shoulc
haw with my students. I mean,mos
of them arc my age, some are eve1
older, and I'd like to be friends w~tl
them" Smith's solutions to thesj
problemscameratherquickly.Remem
bermg how he was taught and draw
ingfrom techniqueshisteachershav
used, he has managed to develop hi
own unique teaching style. As far a
relationshipsgo,Smithisfriendswitl
many of his students and has main
tainedrespectin the classroom
"In theclassroomthe studentsar~
there tolearnandtheyknow that Ian
there toteach. Afterclasswecangotl
the beach or hang out."
Communicattng was also a con
cern of Smith's,but although Bahas
Malaysiaisthecountry's natlonallan
page, all of the classes at Intt arl
taughtinEnglishandEnglishisvidel
spoken throughout the country.
Smith said, "this trip to Malapsi,
has definitely been something that
will remember for the rest of my lift
Not only have I gotten good worl
experience,but I've had a chance t(
experience a new culture and mak,
friendswith people from around th,
world."
Children wonder why a foreigner istaking their photo.

15. FRIDAY, OCTOBER4,2002 15
Ian Wright's life reads like a travelogue.
One lucky bastard
How hosting Pi& GlAides may just be the
best job in the world
Janice Jim
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
Rcflectingonhis life,IanXrrightsaid,
"I amalucbbastard,let's faceit.I've
got the best job in the world." Last
Tuesday's lectureatFed Hallwas the
second stop of his Wn$dof W ~ J ,tour,
in which shareshis travelstoriesand
slides.
Vright is the host of Pilot G~ides,
a h ptravelshow.Ineightyears,XV;'right
and his four-person crew have trav-
elled to 50 countries, where they've
taken in the sights and sampled the
local cuisine. Each hour-long Pdot
Guides episode incorporates footage
fromthreetofourweekson-location.
This is not your typical relaxing
vacation; the days are long and ex-
hausting.A typical daystartsat7 a.m.
The crew drives for a few hours to
interviewa local, shoot segmentson
thelocalactivities,ltxlgingandcuisine,
then it's back in the van for more
driving.The crewworkswellintothe
night, producing segments on festi-
vals or the localnightlife.
Althoughthelongdays oftenleave
Xrrightwithouttime forexyloringon
hisown,theexhaustingscheduledoes
not diminish the experience."There
arc somany extraordinarythingsout
there. I mean, I get excitedby drain
covers. You get bored with filming,
but you don't get bored with the
countq "
Afterhighschool,"rightattcnded
art~chool,t m elledandheldoddlobs
His friendnottcedanad f o ~1helon4
PIutuf shon mthe C;/*arhnand,with
mine luckand ahilariousdemotape,
q h t was hired as the host Eight
yearsand10episodeslater,heisnear-
ing the end of his hosting duties.He
has four episodes left to film.
Wright is a man of many talents.
IIesketches,paintsandwritesarticles
for Outpostmagazine and a London
weekly.Whenaskedabout the future,
Wright said, "I will get around to
writinga book. I doenjoywriting. ..
I want to have a book with sketches
and my own stories in it." He would
alsoliketodomorecommunitywork.
There are still places he hasn't seen.
Wright would like to visit Siberia,
AntarcticaandcentralAmerica.
Wrighttook onthe lecturetour to
challengehimself.Hewasintlrmdated
with the ideaof beingalone on stage
in front of 200 people and ha+g to
entertain them with only his stories
andafewtravelslides.Hecertainlyrose
to the challenge.For over twohours,
he captivatedthe audiencewith tales
from his journeys, his life and hts
chddhood. Wright displayed consid-
erable comedlc skills,malung funny
faces,doingimpressionsandgoofing
offonstage.The audiencewasrecep-
tiveandlaughedthroughouttheshow.
Sincet h ~ swasaCanadianaudience,
he warmed up the crowd by takng
abouthistravelsinYellowknife,where
he sawtheNorthernlight~,~udgcdan
uglydogandtruckcontest andlearned
the intricaciesof shittingin the great
whitenorth. He alsosampledatradi-
tional dish of seal fat and squeezed-
outbirdintestine, whichwas someof
theworst foodhe evertasted. Andhe
has tasted a lot of bad food. Wright
regularlysamplesexoticlocalcuisine,
suchas friedcockroaches,bat's blood
or rancid sharkmeat, on Pilot Guides.
One of his favouritc experiences
waswhale-watchinginBaja,Mexico.
Vright wasonasmallboatwithalocal
man, arnldsta largepod ofwhales. It
waslike beingin busy shippinglanes,
exceptthattheyweref~llof~hales.He
termedtheeqerienceas "mind blow-
ing." Other memorable moments
were wreck-divingand shark-feeding
inFiji;reachtngthe summitofhlount
Kilimanjaro,where"the viewiscrap;"
andthetimethedirectorwaslnttenon
the ass by a monkey suspected of
beinginfcctcdwithrabies.
II sadviceto travellersis to travel
light, to keep a sense of humour and
to "remember that you are rich and
you are travellingin poor countries,
[so] show a bit of respect." When
travehg, he keepsinmind that "it's
aboutgettmg [the]story.Iamjust the
glue that holds the bits together."
Doing the right thing
Family or friend?
Q.I'vedatedaCanadianwoman
for over a year now. I really like
herandwe've talkedabout
gettingmarried.My familywants
me tomarrysomeonewho
speaksourlanguageandknows
ourculture. She's tryingto leam
Mandarin,butis farfrom fluent.
ShouldI keepmyfamilyhappy
or followmy heart?
TomA.
A.Avaluable exerciseforanyoneis
to define his or her "deal breakers."
These are traits that make a long-
term relationshipwith a person
impossible.Bad habits, infidelity,
politicalleaning,hygieneorprofes-
sioncould allbe reasonabledeal
breakers (formyself,1absolutely
refuse to date super-models).You
need to decidewhether awoman
being from another culture is a deal
breaker foryou. If it is then I'd
suggestnot dating her, as it will
onlylead to heartache for both of
you. If this isn't a dealbreaker, then
announce the engagementand start
the f d y feud!
To med schoolor not?
Q. I'm in healthscience andwill
be going on to med schoolto be
adoctor. I love the idea of being
adoctor,of helpingpeople,and
ok,sure,I'd like themoneyand
prestigetoo. I'm definitelynot
dumb,but I reallydon't enjoy
anyofmycoursesandbecauseof
this I'm doingquitepoorly. I
paintasahobbyandconsidered
takingfine artatanotheruniver-
sity,butbeing a"starvingartist)'
has nointerestforme. ShouldI
keepworkingthroughmy
programandtry tosomehow
bringupmymarks?
Pre-MedJitters
A. The glib response would be to
just follow your dreams, do the art
and forget about the cash. I won't
give you that, becauseyour desire to
findwork aftergraduatingis a fair
one. I would like to challenge some
of your assumptions however.
Therearemany waysto make
money and have prestige in our
societyand beinga m e d d doctor w
one of the harder paths in my
opinion. Evenafteryou're practis-
ing you get woken in the middle of
the night and called in on holidays
when your patients have attempted
suicide. Accordingto the MDs I've
spokenwith, theyhave a pretty
poor qualityoflife.Artisticcareers
that can keep you fed are out there.
Graphic artistsare flourishingand
the barner to entryis a modest
computer and some pirated
software.Alternativelyyoucould
look at other things you don't
mind doing and keep painting as a
hobby. Unwersityis a tune of
discoveryand discoveringyou're on
the wrong path can be one of the
most important things to learn. Let
yourself take a stepbackand re-
examinethings.
Need he@on serious ismes? Hacing
pmh'ems deakng with schooLfrenh, or
evenyourmanage? Writeto Andreni
Landers with all ofthose tough, h i
quesLiuns that have keptyozi an~akeat
n&ht. Andren~landerhat limited @ace
toprint hif help, soplease keep u l letters
to a maximum of500 alordls. b m e b e r ,
Andrew landerscares.

16. FRIDAY, OCTOBLK 4,2002
A Rude awakening
walls. 'l'he lighting in some areas is
dim -good for a the-a tPte,not so
good forreadingthemcnu.l'he sen--
iceislack1ustcr;wewaitedlongerthan
we should have at each stage of the
process, from ordering,to service,to
recetvingthebill.
SHORT ORDER
TheRude Native
2-41GngSt. N.
886-3600
WWP .rudei~att~-~~com
The Rude Native's problem appears
tobeitsinconsistentfoodandmedio-
cresenwe,butperhapstheunderlyng
problem ia tryingto do too much. Its
espansive mcnu includes selections
from around the world, including
Frenchbraisedlambshankwithsauce
proven~al,multi-ethnic curries and
SouthAfricanorangeroughy.Variety
isnice,but servingconsistentlyhigh-
qualitydishesismore important.The
-Y'aterloolocationisoneoffivcowned
byBradTownsend,w-hoisalsos o h
itjngfranchsees.Ratherthanexpand-
ing, perhaps he should work to Im-
prove the currentlocations.
The atmosphere at the Rudc Na-
tivets casualand the dCcorcolourful,
featuringAfricanmasksandcarvings
hanging on brightly painted stucco
The appetizers were thehighlight
of the meal. I ordered the rude salad
($7.95), which consisted of fresh
mcsclun, numerous toasted pecans
and a sweet maplc dijon vinaigrette
that played off bcautihllully against a
geilerousporaonoftan~bluechccsc.
1iad I been granted a roll, hs dish
mould havc made a very satisfying
light meal.
My companioil ordered the
calamari diavola ($7.15),which was
tender and just spicy enough. It was
accompanied by numerous warm
kalamataolives.Although the olives
addedlittletothedishsincetheywcrc
whole,theytastedgood ontheirown.
Somebreadwould havc been nice to
pickupthe spicy,garlickysauce.
At82.75,the"esotic pices" werea
disappointment. Both consisted
mostlyofice.Thepineapplejuice was
canned and thc papaya juice tasted
artificialandsugary.
On a previous visit, I ordered thc
special,afdetofmahi-mah.Thcfish
wasovcrcookedandbland,accompa-
niedby secalledbasmatiticethattasted
likeovercooked,under-seasonedL h
cleBen's.Meanwlulc,mycompanion
ordered a delicious green '1hat curry
seafood which consisted of loads of
mussels,clams,bayscallops,calamari,
salmon and plump udon noodles in
a rich, spicy sauce with cilantro oil
floating appealingly on the surface.
This time,Idecidedtoplay itsafeand
ordcr the green Thai curry scafood
($14.95), while my companion or-
deredtheSingaporenoodles($13.95).
What arrived at our table bore no
resemblancetothedeliciousdishfrom
ourpreviousnsit.The saucewaswa-
tery,withno&scerniblecurryflavour,
just cilantro. The seafood was still
plentiful,but thedehciousudonnoo-
dlcs had been replaced by another,
limpvariety.Aftcrwa~tingalongttme
to get the waitress's attention, 1sent
the dish back and declined to have ~t
replaced.Ve werenot charged forit.
i'vIy companion's Singapore noo-
dles were adequate. He commcnted
that they were under-seasoned and
dry.Theydidcontamagenerous por-
tion of chicken and shrimp, as the
menupromises, although,bafflingly,
therewasalargepieceofsalmoninthe
dish as well.
K e did not stay for dessert, al-
thoughonapreviousvisdthe choco-
latepecanpiewas tasty.
Two appetizers, one entrCc and
tu~oglassesofjuicecostapproximately
$4plus tip.
Some of the food may be lacking, but the decor is alive wit1
colour at The Rude Native.

17. FKID> ,OCTOBER4,2002 page 17
Ferguson tours UW artifacts
UW museums receive an $18,541grant
Chris Ferguson
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
On September 17 Deputy Premier
F.lizabethYitmer,nn)PforIGtchener-
Katerloo, announced an operating
grant to UK' museums. 'l'he Kater-
looHeritageCollectionsAssociation
will receive $18,541 to assist in the
operation of the Museum and Ar-
chi-eof Games as wcll as the Fxth
SciencesMuseum.
I iearingaboutyet anothergrant to
UW' is nothing new, but this one
might make you take notice. Muse-
ums,you say?'l'herearemuseumson
campus?Somethingyou can dircctly
takeadvantageof?Yes, it's true.Con-
sider the prominent museum on
north campus,theMuseum ofvisual
ScienccandOptoinetry,locatedonthe
third flooroftheoptometrybudding.
Although thismuseumisnotcov-
crcd under the grant, it is probably
UT"s best-known museum. It has a
large collectioi~containing items of
historic significance as well as some
cluirkypieces.
Rack around the turn of the last
century,stereoscopeswereahot ticket
item. Thls tool consists of an object
set up on a stand and two lenses
through which a viewer looks at the
object. Each of the lenses presents
slightlydissimilar pictures of the ob-
ject toeacheye.Thebrainfusesthenvo
mages together, producing a three-
dimensionalimage.
Museums, you
say?There are
museums on I
campus?
To illustrate just how education
has changed,apage onthewallof the
museum tells the story of Waldren
hfaxwell, founder of prominent op-
tometry practice in old-town
Fredesicto~~,NewAsunswick.
Some of the historic pieces are
downrightscary,suchastheunwicldy
glasscontactlenses,mreiltedin1887,
whichare as thick as some of today's
eyeglasslenses.
The museum is also the proud
ownerof severalpairsofcelebri~eye-
glasses. Donated lenses in-
cludethoseofretiredAmeri-
cangeneralsColinPowelland
Norman Schwarzkopf, ac-
tors Anthony H o p h s aid
Ernest Borgnine, former
Prime Minister Urmn
Mulroney arid Rtshop
Desmond Tutu.
Perhaps the most curi-
ous campus muscum is
found in the faculty of ap-
plied healthsciences.'l'his is
thehluseum and Archtveof
Games, located in B.C.
Matthews Hall on the main
floor. This museum is one
of thc two rcccir-ingfunding
underthegovernmentgrant.
It was founded by Elliott
Avedon,aformerprofessor
inrecreationandleisurestud-
iesat UK'.
Elena Ignatov, a gradu-
atestudentinrecreatioiland
leisure studics and research
assistantatthemuseum,s i d
the money would likely be
See MUSEUMS, page 18
Dangerous condoms and
dlamondmlcrochlps
lorcylindersof rab-
bits' penises with
segments groum
fromthclrowncells.
According to Dr.
Atala," [therablnts]
Jennifer Holdner and
Aaron Romeo
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
Spermicide may do more harm
than good
Amcrtca's mostwidelvuwd spec
micide,nonoxylnol-9(h-9),foundin
12 per cent of condoms, promotes
STDsand AIDS,accordingtoprom
ncnt public-health organizations A
studyusing800sexworhersfound 48
percmtmoreFIIVinfecttons amongst
those who used N 9 spermicide
N-9 is a harh detergent ahich
breaks down sperm and viruses Hut
N 9 can also irritate the h g of the
Ia,ma and rectum leaving the body
more susceptibleto STDs
Though some companies suchas
Johnson and Johnson, Aqua Lube,
and l m o n o ha1e stopped using N-
9, others such as Trojan,Durex, and
Lifcs~leshavenot
Diamond microchips
For overa decade,engineersh u e
had their eye on diamond as an altcr-
nativetos&c&formcrochrps. 110~7-
of contracting STDs.
ever, natural diamond contaiils too
many impurities to do the job and
svntheticdiamond produces highre
sistancetocurrent
Scientistsm Kritatn and Sweden
havc managed to grow a synthetic
diamond filmasasinglecrysal A'ith
fewimpurities,thiswill be useful for
highpowerelectronics
A radartransmtterwithdamond
ckctronics can transmit 100timesas
much power than the stlicoil-based
electronics
Reconstructed member
.I hereconstructionofapenis from
scratchmayo m daybepossible That
isthehope ofDr AtalaoftheI Iarvard
MedicalSchool Histeamreplacedma-
were able to copu-
late, penetrate and
produce sperm."
Samplesofmus-
cle and cells were
takenfromthemce
grown separate$
and added to colla-
gen After a feu
more days of
growthin the colla-
gen, the result re-
semblederectdetis
sue.'Ihccorpuscav-
ernosa,acylinderin
the penis which
swells durmg crcc-
tton,was thencom-
pletelyremovedand
replaced with the
newlyformed erec-
ttlc tissue Dr Atala stated that the
final product is "analogous to the
pens of a 60-year old man "
Quantum cryptography reaches
new peaks
Bnbshresearchesha~ebeenableto
encodequantumcryptogaph) keysm
photons of ltght In a tet run, these
photons of light were transmitted
over 23 km between two mountain
tops inGermany.Lightwaspdarised
as individual photons in opposite
orientations to represent zeros and
oi1es
Havqakeyallowsamescagetobe
sent to another location without in
terception by a third party who does
not haw access to the key. Another
popularcq~tographickeytechnology
is publlc ke) cryptography,which is
not as secureas quantum cnpogra
phy is. l'ublic key cryptographyuses
mathematicalfunctionsandwdltheo
reucallybebreakableinthe futureonce
more powerful computers are built.
Tlmnewtechnologyisanadvance-
incnt from the last breakthrough by
Swiss researchers. This system con-
sistedof up to 60 kmof optical fiber
usedtotransmitgound-based quan-
tum kcy information. New quantum
cq~tographptechnolog~7ispax,mgthe
way for"a secureglobalkey-distribu-
tionnetworkbased onopticallinksto
IowEarth-orbitsatellites," saidJohn
Rarity of QiilctiQ, the public arm of
theUISs defencercsearchagcncp.
Although icwarchers admit that
23 kmis a far cn from the 1000km
neededtoreachallLE0satellites,thev
believeresearchtnto filteringoutam-
bientlightwillmakefurthertransms-
sionfeasibleby March 2003. Tn addi-
tion,theyneed toenpecr signalsthat
are not absorbed by clouds.

18. 18 FRIDAY, OCTOBER 4,2N
The games museum has this ancient Egyptian board game on display.
AARONAMROSI
Museums: lots of artifacts
Continued from page 17 gamesand, as a result,rotates its dis-
play every six months. Currently the
used m large part to fund research theme is "Games from around the
assistant positions necessary for the world" and is due to be rotated in
day-to-dayoperation of the museum. November.
Themuseumoccupies lust asmall Current items on display mclude
room in BMlI but owns over 5,000 crude wooden table hockey games,
An old lens box is part of the optometry exhibit.
reembhng pmball, from the 1940s,
playing cards from Turkey,Hungary
aildChmaaildthe classicmah-jongg
I h e game of Go, likely the oldest
board game in the world, originated
in China 4,000!cars ago and has be
comethenationalgameofJapansince
itsintroduction there 1,200yearsago.
The Earth Sciencesbfuscum, on
thethirdfloorofBiology1,showcases
manv eshibits related to the work of
the department, including skeletons
of a buffalo and a leopard. 'Shere are
several rock samples, including a
quartz, a large rockwith a siher strip
and an amethyst. Graded maps give
studentsa three-dimensional-iewof
their surroundings and the stuffed
birdsm the hallwayareclassic.
Rrubachcr House, the fiiial cam-
pus museum, is a heritage museum
located in the old farmhouse by the
Columbiaplaying fields.
Admissioi~to the Optometry,
Earth Sclences museums, as well as
thePvlureumandilrchir-eof Gamesir
free,though donations arcwelcome.
Campus museums have more to
offer than you think.The bestway to
get to know them is to go and visit
them yourself, so check them out
Warehouse S t o r e
QUALITY FOOTWEAR... BRANDS YOU WANT!
Clarks, Birkenstock, Cougar, Geronimo, Tommy
Hilfiger, Naot, Teva, Dr. Marten's, Blundstone,
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Simple...and the list goes on...
GREAT SHOES...GREAT DEALS!
WhereElseDoYouFindGreatFootwearAtYourDoorstep?
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Senses: a drfferent
wav to see the world
Continued from cover
Most people ha-e the ability to
make a connection between a form
and a colour (e.g.:7-isualiaea green
number eight). "The differencewith
spesthesiais that connectmnis onall
the time."
The word syncsthcsia means
pined sensation and it shares a root
with anesthesia,whichmeans no sen-
sation. The word synesthesia comes
from hvo Greek words: syn, which
means together and aesthesis,which
means toperceive.
Although the condition is rela-
tnely unknowntomostpeople, ithas
been rccognizcd for ccilturics. The
first case of synesthesia was docu-
mented byJohn Locke m 1690m his
essay "Concerning Human Under-
standing."
Benvecn 1860andl!W, the study
of synesthesiawasestremelypopular
and many artists considered it to be a
"gift."
S~ticsthctcscancspcrieilceavmety
of ox-erlap in the senses; st~undand
sightcanbe tied tocolour,tastecanbe
tied to sensation. Although the com-
binations are endless,the most com-
mon type ofsynesthesia involvesthe
associationof colourmith letters and
digits."In 70percentofall synesthetes,
either showingthem letters or digits
inblackwillelicitsomety-peof experi-
enceofcolour," saysMikeDimn.For
these tpes ofsynesthetes,plainblack
textwill appear multicoloured.
For example, a typical synesthete
might see allnumber sevensas being
yellow,regardlessofwhat colourthey
actually are. When shown a black
number seven,these people bcgin to
interpretitasasevenandsee ayellow-
coloured overlay on the digit even
though they know the number is in
black
'hen synesthetesthat haw an al-
phanumeric condition are shown
letteror digitthatisthemrongcolou
it makes them feel uncomfortabl
The type of reaction varies by ind
d u a l :somemayjust feelonlyslight
uncomfortable, but some may fe
upset to the point of being sick.
"Our research has shown th
spnesthesiacolours[synesthetes']ei
tire experience.Not just perceptio
(howthcyseetheworld)but alsoho
they remember the world. So tl
memory of digits, for sow
synesthetes,canbee~~raordinary,"sa;
Dr.Dixon.However,mcmoq-is on
increased for the things they are sy
thetic for (letters,numbers,etc.).
The superior memory (
synesthetes can be illustrated t
Ili~oii'.~accountofanm-classexerci,
by apsych101professor.lVhiletryir
to illustrate the limits of short-teri
human memory,theprofessor did a
exercisewith his class. 1Ie read fol
sets of nine digit numbers aloud. P
expectedthemajurityoftheclasscou
onlyrememberabout seen.Onest1
dent approached the professor aft,
classand said shecould rcmcmbera
thenumbers. Sherecitedthenumbe
and got 34 out of 36 correct. X h c
asked how she did it, she said t
simplyrcmemberingthe orderof cc
ours.
In a surprise study about ht
months later, the same student w:
askedifshecouldremember the san
36numbersfromher psychclass.S1
got34outof36correctapin,showir
that synesthetes have a remarkab
memory.
Dr. Dison is part of a psycholo5
research team that includes Dr. I'k
Merikleand gradstudentDan Smile
who is conducting a study on tl
memory of synesthetes.
An in-depth analysis of the stuc
will be published in thc next issue (
Py~hologicuLScience.
Thepast willconnect them. Thepassion willpossess them.
GWYNETH PALTROW
AARON ECKHART
also with...JENNIFEREHLE & JEREMYNORTHAM

19. A look at the rules of engagement
as UW field hockey heats up
Sean Lauria
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
1,ast season, the Y arriors women's
fieldhockeyteamplacedsecondatthe
CIS nationals 1his eason, the team
is uidefeated after four matches, in
cluding a crushing x icton over the
strongyork team
Theyaredetepmedtosurpassthe
successoflast scasonwiththe support
ofUK' studcnts 1o followtheaction
on October 9, when the team plays
their next home game agatnstWcst
ern,herearcsomeofthebasicsof the
sport
Fieldhockcvisa fast-paced sport,
oftenplayedonartificialturf toensurc
smooth movement of the ball Ac-
t~onfrequentlyswitchesfrom defen-
sivc to offensive fronts
lactically s d a r to soccer, field
hockeymatchcs consistof 11players
foreachteam,occupyingafieldthcsve
of a soccer pitch 'I eams deck a out
overtwo35 m u t e hall esforeachof
the fast paced bouts Scoresareusu-
al$ low, around three points per
team Playersuseflatstickstomampu-
latetheball Onlythc right sideof the
stickcan be used to handle the ball
Shotscanonlylxtaken F r m w i t h
anareaaroundthenet,calledtheshoot
mg clrcle 1his is set up to prevent
inpfies from renegadc shots taken
withthehard,oftenfast-travelingball
Shotsareblockedbyaheavilypad
ded goahe, who is permitted to use
anypart of her body to prevent scor
1%
Thesportisnon-violent,intheory,
but battle5 for control can result in
some on field aggresston According
to coach Dave Hammond, a 15-year
veteran of the sport, "There's not
meant tobe anyphysical contact, but
there issomeandmostof itisjockey-
ing for positions " Hammond ts an
active member of the men's Cana-
diannational fieldhockey team
Thc2001 seasonwasthefistttme
aUY fieldhockeyteamwonamedal
at the national level 1hey beat the
Victoria Vdungs only be narrowly
dcfeatedlater,scoring3 2againstthe
number one ranked Um~crsityof
British Columbia m the gold metal
match
I he transition from underdogs
tonationalpowerhouse statusisone
that takcs some getting used to
"It is an adjustment for us to
come in asthe favorites Theplayers
are gctting uscd to not thinlung of
ourselvesasunderdogs and playing
withconfidence," saidfirstpearcoach
Hammond
Thisteamismadeupofa"pod,
coregroupofplayers who arecnter-
ingtheir forthyear,"Hammond said
See FIELD HOCKEY, page 20
Can I please touchdown your tight-end?
Warriors defeated;buns of steelconsolein defeat
MichelleTitus
SPORTS COMMENTARY
K hen I entered the stadium, tt was
evidentthat those scattered ,
throughoutthebleacherswere
attending the game forvanou5
reasons Someobviouslywere there
to cheerontheWarriors regardless
of their past losses, othcrs came in a
hcrd for socialplans,while some
were there to cheeron frtendsand
family Of couisc the 'horn balls' of
the crowdogledatthecheerleaders
m their short slurts and tight tops,
comparing our own to those from
Western I, on the other hand,
occupieda seatwith the intention
towrite a story
The game started off quite slow
and the hard and the cold bleachers
did not my boredom But 1began
to reali7e the magicalworld of
spandex.Aware that men gawk
overgirlsin this matenal, I was
quick to e l m a t e a double stand-
ard. When I commented on the
extremelytight glutmus maximus'
of our team to some male cohorts
next to me their response was
"Obviously you're not loolungat
the line-backers"But I was not
beingdiscriminatoryat all,thosc
pants reallywork wonders In fact,
comparison to a girdlewould be
quite rele ant It mlght pro1e to be
useful forguy to wear game pants
undcrneath replar dress After all,
thc pants tend towrap their rears
up in tight packages that I would
love to open any day of the week.
Instead of drooling over
cheerleaders,1focusedonthe (if only I was) but were denied.
bchinds of our %rriors. As they High spiritsremainedwhile efforts
asscmbledacross continuedwholc-hcartcdly
throughout the last nvo quarters.
umber 9. Celebrations
murrcd and buns were
fantasieswere
cametoaconclu-
sion: football a tussle between
our Watcrloo
SuperFansand the
Westerncheerlead-
ers. The rumblcwas
quickenand before quicklycontrolledby
long itwas haK nearby O.P.P. and my
time. At this time I attention returned to
had a tight grasp (not more important matters.
literally,but I wish) on Unfortunately how-
the assets of our team. cver,theywould dance no
However, in the more, and booties would
third quarter the game
began to llven up and for Westerndcfcated
once I was interested in the Vaterloo 24-17.
plays. Number 1had an Mcn enjoy not only
impressive run '(and butt) thc @me, but the
halfwayintothis quarter BY cheerleaders MeSTELLA LUI
bringing touchdown possibili- some women are
ties and excitementto the crowd avid football fans,others aremore
Theywereextremelycloseto scormg reserved about the sport But all of
September28 -October 4
Baseball
Warriors13,Western 1
Iarriors 1,Western 3
McMaster7,%arriors2
Y/arrtors6,Mchlaster 1
Cross country
KesternIn itattonal
Womcn racked second
(topWarrior --Knstie Henry,
6th overall)
Menranked e>enth
(top Y1arnor-Scott Arnald and
m e Lope, 22nd and 33rd
overall)
Field hockey
Warriors 7,Trent 0
Football
Western 24,Warriors 17
Golf
Lauricr Open at Whistle Bear Golf
Club
Waterloorankedsecond
(top1% arriorSteteJohnson,
Istoperall)
Queen's Invitational
at Amhcrtview Golf Club
Tatcrloo ranked fourth
Women's hockey
StoneyCreekh,Y'arriors 1
Women's rugby
K'arnors 59, 1oronto 5
Y'arnors 47,Laufier0
Men's soccer
Western 2,LYarriors 1
Women's soccer
X;estcrn 3,Yarriors 1
Men's tennis
Queen's 5, Warnors 2
Women's tennis
K7arriors5, Queen's 2
Warriors 6,Toronto 1
Men's votleyball
NationalTeam Masters3,
Warriors2
Women's volleyball
York 3,Warnors 0
Warriors 3,Ryerson0
Wamors3, Ryerson0
Guelph 3,K'arnors 0
Comingup
October 5 - October 11
Cross country
Oct. 10 (A) Mustang Open
Field hockey
Oct. 1-6 (A) Carleton, Queen's,
and McGill (atMontreal)
Oct. 9 (A) K'estern
Football
Oct 5 (A) Guelph, 200 p.m.
Golf
Oct 4 OH)UK ChallengeCup
at hlmira Golf Club
Oct 10(A)Western Open
at St Thomas Chlf and Country
Club
Men's hockey
Oct 4-6 (A)OluoStateandVest
Michigan
Men's rugby
Oct 5 McMaster,1 00p m
Women's rugby
Oct 2 (A)Tmrier, 6 OOp m
Oct 5 (A)Windsor, 3 00 p m
Men's soccer
Oct 5 (A) Launer, 1 00p m
Oct 6 N Vindsor, 100 p m
Women's soccer
Oct 3 (A) Laurier,3 00p m
Oct 6 (H)TTindsor,3 00 p m
Swimming
Oct 2 (H)Guelph, 5 30 p m
(dual meet)
Oct 5 (FT)McMaster, 100 p m
(dualmeet)
Oct 6 (A) Brock,9 00a m
@iathalon/tnathalon)
Men's tennis
Oct 5 (A) Torontoand York,
9 00 a m (at Toronto)
Women's tennis
Oct. 5 (A) York and McMaster,
9 00 a m (atYork)
Men's volleyball
Oct 4-6 (A)W m p e g
0 www athleticsuwaterlooca
us should take advantagewhde we attending this game is quite
can For once,theyarethe onesin strat,ghtfomard
tight, form-fitting spandex and wc
aregwen the opportumty to stare
and compare If onlywc could
touch aswell
Sure,the Warnors lost, but I was
still entertained regardless of thc
finalscore
1he logic that I gained from
Footballplayershave nice bums
LX'aterlooVarriors are football
players
Katerloon atii ,rs havenice
bums