THE RIGHT ONE Second Draft

THE RIGHT ONE
by
Victor Revino
victor.revino@gmail.com

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY
It’s a beautiful Sunday morning. Sun shining. Birds chirping.
People enjoying their picnics. A SCREAM echoes from a
distant. Everyone turns to look. Gawk.
CLOSE ON a MAN wearing a WEDDING TUXEDO - FLEEING in panic.
The man, BEN GOODMAN(30), a tall, handsome manboy, a
jokester, but he can be serious, dependable and charming when
he have to, runs whilst peering back. Not so far behind him,
CARISTA KRAMER(28), controlling, manipulating - wearing a
WHITE WEDDING DRESS, chases after him.
CARISTA
BEN! COME BACK HERE AND MARRY ME!
Ben leaps, avoiding a COUPLE on their picnic. FREEZE ON Ben
soaring in the air.
MRS. JONES (V.O.)
Ah, true love. There's nothing like
it... Love can make you run after
the one you love through a park,
making a fool out of yourself in
front of thousands of people... Oh,
where are my manners. My name is
Diana Eleanor Jones and I am going
to tell you the greates... Well, it
may not be the greatest love story
in our generation, but it will do.
Oh, by the way, those two, not the
love story I'm going to tell you.
INT. 5TH AND BRIDEWAY - FITTING ROOM - DAY
TITLE OVER PICTURE: 2 MONTHS EARLIER
A VERTICAL WHITE LINE SPLIT SCREEN dividing Ben and AMY LANE
(26), a devoted, strong will, cute girl with a won’t hurt a
fly super nice attitude as they come out of their fitting
rooms and check out their wedding attires.
MIRRORS’S POV as they’re both annoyed. Ben is uneasy with his
ALL WHITE TUXEDO while Amy bothered with her figure - takes
off her dress, the SPLIT SCREEN ends.
With only a bra and a panty, Amy gazes her stomach. Pinch it.
AMY
Damn, roast beef. Ugh...
1.

A COUGH comes from her right side. Amy STUNNED - eyes opened.
She trails the source of the cough, gingerly. REVEAL: Ben
waving at her.
BEN
Hi.
Amy SCREAMS. Runs for her PURSE on the COUCH - swiftly.
AMY
PERVERT!
BEN
No, we’re jus--
Amy brandishes a MACE - SPRAYS Ben right in the eyes and
PUNCHES his nose. Ben SCREAMS. GROANS. Clutches his face. Amy
grabs the wedding dress. Covers herself. Holds the mace up.
AMY
Who are you?! What are you doing
here?! Are you videotaping me, you
sicko?! Is this some kind of Girls
Gone Wild?! TALK!
BEN
I ju--
AMY
SHUT UP!
Amy sprays the mace to Ben’s face, again. Ben SCREAMS. Goes
down.
BEN
STOP IT WITH THE MACE! AAAAHHHH!
WHY?! YOU TOLD ME TO TALK!
AMY
I’m sorry, I panicked!
BEN
I need water! I need water! It’s
like a burning pee in my eyes!
Amy runs into her side of the fitting room while Ben still
lies on the floor - writhing. Beat. Amy comes back with a
ROBE intact and a BOTTLE OF WATER. Amy crouches down. Helps
Ben.
AMY
Stay still.
2.

BEN
(squints)
WHAT IS THAT?! HYDROCHLORIC ACID?!
AMY
No, it’s water. It’s water.
Amy pours the water on a TOWEL - dabs Ben’s eyes with it. Ben
takes the damp towel - presses it against his eyes and nose.
Beat. The mace effect decreases. Ben blinks his eyes - RED
MARKS surround them. Nose bloody.
AMY (CONT’D)
Feel better?
BEN
Yeah, thanks.
Amy aims the mace can on Ben - holds him at gunpoint.
AMY
Now, tell me, what the hell are you
doing here?!
BEN
We're in the same fitting room.
Ben points to his side of the fitting room. PAN TO another
door inside the room. REVEAL: two fitting rooms with an
ADJOINING room in the back.
BEN (CONT’D)
They put the two rooms into this
conjoint room.
Amy claps her hand over her mouth.
AMY
Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't
notice the door.
Amy snickers. Chortles. Ben sits up with the towel still
pressed against his face.
BEN
Yeah... laugh it up. It’s really
funny when you broke someone’s
nose.
AMY
(guffaws)
I broke it? I’m so sorry...
Amy keeps on laughing - draws a SNORT.
3.

BEN
Did you just snort?
AMY
(chuckles)
No... It's just some excess air.
BEN
You did snort, Macer.
AMY
I’m Amy.
BEN
Ben.
Amy extends her hand to help Ben up. Ben grabs her hand. Pops
up in an instant.
AMY
(grunts)
God, you’re heavy.
Amy coggles - falls into Ben’s arms. Amy pans up to see Ben
smiling at her. He lets her go.
BEN
You okay?
AMY
Yeah, I’m fine... so, Ben? Is that
short for Benjamin?
BEN
Weirdly enough, my parents only
named me Ben. No Benjamin, no
Benhur. Just Ben.
AMY
Are you serious?
BEN
You don’t believe me? Here.
Ben draws his WALLET - pulls out his ID - gives it to Amy.
AMY
(studies the picture)
Cute photo.
BEN
Thank you. That was my nickname
through high school, actually...
with an addition of McPretty.
4.

AMY
(giggling)
Well, Just Ben, I’m sorry about the
eyes.
BEN
And the nose.
Amy chuckles - gives back the ID.
AMY
Of course, the nose.
BEN
When's your big day?
AMY
June 14th.
BEN
Hey, me too!
AMY
Hey!
Ben and Amy high-five each other.
BEN
Congratulations.
AMY
You too.
Beat.
BEN
This is some great small talk.
AMY
I know, right? Could've gone better
if I had more than just a robe.
BEN
Ah, you look fine... Anyway, I've
got to go. By now, my fiancé would
think I strangled myself with a bow-
tie.
AMY
Wait, your fiancé’s here with you?
Isn't the bride not supposed to see
the groom in his tux?
5.

BEN
She doesn't believe that kind of
stuff. I always thought that kinda
kills the thrill.
AMY
Exactly!
(eyeing Ben’s tux)
Can I make an observation?
BEN
The tux’s too white?
AMY
Yes. It’s like marrying an albino
guy.
BEN
I hate it anyway, she made me try
this one... I think I’m gonna get
my own. You know, grow a sack.
Amy smiles while Ben ambles toward the door. Stops for a
beat. Peers back.
BEN (CONT’D)
Careful with that mace, okay,
Macer?
AMY
I will.
Ben exits the adjoining fitting room. Leaving Amy to smile
big. Is that an attraction we see?
INT. 5TH AND BRIDEWAY - CONTINUOUS
Ben walks to Carista who’s sitting on the SOFA. Carista opens
her sunglasses. Crinkles her eyebrows. Rises up. Studies
Ben’s red eyes and bloody nose.
CARISTA
OH MY GOD! What the hell happened?!
BEN
Nothing. It was just some
misunderstanding.
Carista rummages her purse - draws some tissues - cleans the
blood stain from Ben’s cheek.
CARISTA
Who did this to you?! I want names!
6.

BEN
Honey, chill... You’re losing it.
Carista stills herself. Proceeds with the cleaning.
CARISTA
(cleans the nose)
Ugh, this is gonna take a lot of
concealer.
BEN
I love you too.
ANGLE ON: Amy
As she comes out of the fitting room. Shows a POOFY WEDDING
DRESS to ABBY LANE (22), Amy’s sister, a gullible and
spontaneous girl and ZOEY WRIGHT (27), Amy’s best friend, a
rude but caring girl. They both sit on the couch.
ABBY
Aw, you look so pretty.
ZOEY
You look like an angel.
AMY
You guys are bad liars.
ZOEY
Let me finish... You look like an
angel who fell from heaven and
landed on the 80s where girls get
wet by the mention of Duran Duran.
ABBY
Awful. Just awful.
ZOEY
You look like a poodle.
ABBY
Zoey!
ZOEY
What? She wants us to be honest.
AMY
Hand me the other one.
Abby hands Amy another dress while Zoey empties a glass of
CHAMPAGNE. Amy peers to Ben and Carista on the other end.
PAN TO Ben as he puts down the white tuxedo on the sofa.
7.

CARISTA
So, do you like it?
BEN
I don't know. It's white.
(smiling)
It’ll be like marrying an albino
guy.
CARISTA
What? Come on, it’s pale white, not
albino white. You’ll look great.
BEN
Okay, I'll think about it, but I'm
gonna try my usual guy and I’m
going with black, ‘cause once you
go black... You okay with that?
CARISTA
Fine, can we go now? We've got
couple massage in half an hour.
Ben sighs then motions yes. Carista grabs Ben’s hand -
drawing him to the door. Ben glances back. Waves a goodbye to
Amy.
PAN TO Amy as she waves to Ben. Watches while he and Carista
leave the store. Abby pops up from behind Amy.
ABBY
Yummers, where can I get one of
those? Who's that?
AMY
Just a guy I met in the fitting
room.
Zoey puts down her glass - leans forward.
ZOEY
Kinky. Amy Lane, I never thought
you'd be the slutty whore. You did
him in there?
AMY
It's not like that. The room has
another room in the back.
ABBY
Yeah, right.
AMY
Go see it for yourself.
8.

Abby runs to the fitting room - goes inside.
AMY (CONT’D)
I didn't realize it either until I
maced the hell out him.
ZOEY
Saucy!
AMY
Stop it.
Abby comes back.
ABBY
Holy shit, there's another room
inside.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
Ben with a BANDAGE on his nose waltz into the bar -
immediately looking for someone. A HAND comes up from behind
Ben - taps his shoulder.
MAN
Benny.
Ben turns around - finds ADAM GILL (30), Ben’s best friend,
crude and a self-proclaimed ladies man. Adam swiftly studies
Ben’s bandaged nose.
ADAM
Holy shit! What the fuck happened
to you? Is that real?
Adam touches Ben’s nose. Repeatedly. Ben groans. Swats Adam’s
hand.
BEN
Cut it out. It's real.
ADAM
What happened?
BEN
Nothing, I accidently got punched
by some girl.
ADAM
How can you be “accidently” got
punched by someone? Wait, did you
say you got punched by a girl?
9.
(MORE)

Please, don't tell me it was
Carista? It was, wasn't it? Man,
you're not even married yet and
she's already making you her bitch.
Ben and Adam head for an empty BOOTH. We track them as they
walk.
ADAM (CONT’D)
Dude, how many times do I have to
say this?
BEN
You hate Carista.
ADAM
I hate Carista.
ADAM (CONT’D)
She’s a genuine golddigger. You've
been blinded by her boobs, you
can't see that she’s after your
money.
They slide into the booth. Lounge on it.
BEN
She's not after my parent's money.
It's not mine.
ADAM
Well, it'll be yours when they’re
dead. I mean God forbid, but I bet
Carista would join the Taliban to
kill your parents just to get to
that money.
BEN
Dude, stop, it wasn't Carista. It
was some girl I met at the tux
store.
ADAM
Fuck you, you hit on a girl?
BEN
What the hell’s the matter with
you? I was trying a tux, she was
trying her dress. We got mixed up
and ended up in this adjoining
fitting room. She thought I was
some pervert, so she kicked the
shit out of me.
ADAM
Interesting.
10.
ADAM (CONT'D)

BEN
Interesting that I got my ass
handed by some girl?
ADAM
No, interesting that there's a
store that sell both tuxedos and
wedding dresses. Where is this
store?
BEN
(chuckles)
You're pure evil, you know that?
ADAM
Hey, don't blame me. It's in my
gene to sleep with every girl in
the greater state of New York.
Adam waves to a GIRL he met before Ben walked into the bar.
Asks her to join. Girl then, leaves the bar counter with a
CRANTINI in her hand. Struts toward Ben and Adam.
BEN
Who's that?
ADAM
Lauren... something. Oh, FYI, you
just got dumped by your fiancé and
my mom died two years ago... Oh,
oh, my name is Jack Donovan.
BEN
Your mom didn't die, you douche.
She re-married with some dude with
two dicks. Left you with this...
hole that you filled with random,
disease ridden, meaningless sex.
ADAM
(slaps Ben’s head)
Thank you, fuckhead, for bringing
that up. My mom is a bitch and you
know it.
BEN
That makes you a son of a bitch.
Adam shushes Ben. Adam scoots over for LAUREN to sit. Lauren
takes a seat.
ADAM
Lauren, this is my friend, Ben.
11.

Ben and Lauren shake hands and greet each other.
LAUREN
(sees the bandage)
What happened to your nose?
ADAM
He got into a fight. Protecting
this girl he met.
Adam GRINS. Ben, being a good wingman, forced to agree.
BEN
(to Lauren)
Yes. That’s exactly what happened.
LAUREN
You’re so brave.
ADAM
Yes, he is. And now he’s talking
about that girl, right?
BEN
No, I'm not, I just came here to
have a drink with my friend.
LAUREN
C'mon, is she cute?
ADAM
Yeah, she cute?
BEN
Surprisingly, yeah. She's very
cute. We talked for a while...
she's got this personality... I
don't know.
Adam flinches - studies Ben’s facial expression. Ben looks
Adam who’s staring at him.
BEN (CONT’D)
What?
ADAM
Well...
(turns to Lauren)
When he was engaged, he never
thinks about other girls than his
fiancé. Even though that engagement
from hell is now over, he still
thinks his ex is the prettiest girl
in the world.
12.

LAUREN
That means he's not ready.
BEN
Yes, she's right. Thank you,
Lauren. I'm just not ready.
ADAM
If he thinks that some girl is
pretty, then I think he's really
ready. You get her number?
BEN
Nope, why would I?
ADAM
Why woul-- To call her, you
idiot... That's it, I'm done. This
conversation can fellate me.
(to Lauren)
You ready to go?
Lauren nods in compliance. Adam and Lauren stand up. Ready to
leave.
BEN
Dude, I just got here.
ADAM
Lauren, could you excuse us for a
second?
LAUREN
I'm gonna wait outside, okay? Don't
be too long.
ADAM
I won't.
LAUREN
(waving)
Bye, Ben.
Ben waves back while Lauren leaves them. Adam sits back down.
ADAM
You should've asked for her digits.
BEN
Dude, I'm not that guy.
ADAM
Dude, every guy is that guy.
13.

Adam stands back up. Gets ready to leave.
BEN
Bros before hoes.
ADAM
Normally I’d go by that code, but
my Adam's Apples--
BEN
Your balls?
ADAM
Yes... they're tingling.
BEN
You sure it's not cancer? Or
Syphilis?
Adam leaves the booth. Heads for the door.
BEN (CONT’D)
(shouting)
I'm gonna use your tab.
Adam turns around. Walks backward.
ADAM
Whatever, use it. I got an ass I
need to tap.
Adam exits the bar while Ben orders some beer.
INT. AMY’S GARDEN - DAY
We track Amy as she carries a BIG BOUQUET with Zoey behind
her - holding a CLIPBOARD.
ZOEY
Amy! Amy! Would you stop for a
second?
AMY
Zoey! Zoey! I can’t. It's gonna be
June soon, there are like a billion
weddings.
ZOEY
Yeah, including yours. How can I
plan your wedding if you keep
moving like this?
Amy gives the bouquet to her EMPLOYEE. Walks to the COUNTER.
14.

AMY
Just walk and talk. I can multi-
task.
ZOEY
Fine, whatever... We still need to
find a cake and the course. So, I
need you and Julian to be at the
hotel on time, okay?
AMY
All right, got it.
ZOEY
Where is Julian anyway?
Amy goes behind the counter. Checks the inventory. Zoey sits
beside her.
AMY
He’s running a bit late. It’s
fashion week.
ZOEY
God, the fact that he’s one of the
editors for Vogue still bothers me.
Are you sure he's not gay? Or at
least bi?
AMY
Zoey, he’s a metro-sexual, just
because he’s a little more clean
than me and you combined and the
fact that he use a lot of Q-Tips,
doesn’t mean he’s gay.
ZOEY
Amy, he's just one chromosome away
from this becoming a lesbian
wedding.
AMY
Okay, now you're being ridiculous.
SFX: DOOR BELL chimes
JULIAN GRAHAM(28), Amy’s fiance, a ruggedly handsome metro-
sexual man - on the scale of hotness, he’s a solid ten -
walks into the store. Comes up to Amy and Zoey.
JULIAN
Hey. You two... fabulous.
15.

Julian gives them two thumbs up and then he comes close and
kisses both Amy and Zoey on the cheeks.
JULIAN (CONT’D)
Sorry, hon. Meeting ran late.
RING. RING. Julian’s cell phone rings. He checks the SCREEN.
JULIAN (CONT’D)
(holds up cell)
See, I left the office for one
second...
Julian turns his back. Answers the phone. Zoey leans to Amy.
ZOEY
(whispers)
Amy, he said fabulous. What kind of
straight man says fabulous?
AMY
(whispers)
C'mon, lots of guys say fabulous.
ZOEY
(whispers)
Yeah, if their names were Liberace
and Mr. Belvedere.
Amy slaps Zoey’s arm. Zoey groans. Julian turns around.
JULIAN
Sorry about that. What did I miss?
ZOEY
Jules, I need you and Amy at the
hotel 4 o'clock sharp for the
tasting and then we're gonna go to
the bakery for your wedding cake.
JULIAN
Why not do it now? I'm famished.
AMY
I can't. Wedding season. I'm gonna
be here at least 'til 3.
JULIAN
That's okay, since I got time to
kill, why don't I help?
AMY
Oh, that's great. Thanks, babe.
16.

JULIAN
What's a fiancé for? Zoey will help
too, right, Zoe?
ZOEY
You know what, Julian, I really,
really want to, but I don't wanna.
JULIAN
Uh... okay.
Julian releases his expensive ARMANI SUIT. Rolls up his
sleeves.
JULIAN (CONT’D)
I'm ready. What do you want me to
do?
AMY
Can you get more lilies from the
back? We're running low here.
Julian throws a thumbs up - marches to the STORAGE ROOM.
Leaving Amy and Zoey.
AMY (CONT’D)
Try to be more mean, why don't you?
ZOEY
Give me a break, he knows I hate
getting my hands dirty.
AMY
(grins)
Really? I heard different.
ZOEY
(off her grin)
That's a different kind of dirty.
That's a good dirty... Okay, I’m
out. I've got to go check on other
things for your wedding.
AMY
What other things?
ZOEY
The most important thing. My dress.
AMY
I thought I was the most important
thing.
17.

ZOEY
Not when I'm the maid of honor. I
need to look good if I want to take
some guys home.
AMY
Guys? Plural? God, you are a slut.
ZOEY
(shrugs)
Nyeh... see you, bitch.
Zoey gives a peck to Amy then strolls out the door. Leaving
the store.
AMY
(sighs)
Time to go to work.
Amy picks up a FLOWER BUCKET. Moves to the DISPLAY TABLE. The
store’s too crowded with CUSTOMERS that Amy gets wedged.
AMY (CONT’D)
Comin' through, people. Make way
for the small flower lady.
Amy twists and turns. Avoids hitting the customers. Amy
twists one more time. Hits a MAN’S back with the bucket.
MAN
(grunts)
Ah, damn it.
Amy puts down the bucket. Apologizes.
AMY
I'm so sorry. I didn't see you
there.
Amy looks up. PAN UP to see Ben standing in front of her.
AMY (CONT’D)
Hey. Just Ben, right?
BEN
Yeah. Amy the Macer.
AMY
What are you doing here?
BEN
We're picking flowers.
18.

AMY
We?
BEN
Oh, hold on...
Ben taps Carista’s back as she’s talking to one of Amy’s
employees.
BEN (CONT’D)
C.
Carista turns around.
BEN (CONT’D)
(to Amy)
I'd like to meet Carista, my
fiancé.
Carista and Amy shake hands.
CARISTA
Hi. I'm Carista.
AMY
Carista, that's a lovely name.
CARISTA
I know, right?
AMY
I’m Amy.
BEN
(points to nose)
She’s the one who did this.
Upon hearing that, Carista furiously yells at Amy.
CARISTA
It was you?!
Carista tries to smack Amy. Lunges forward. Cocks her fist.
Ben quickly subdues Carista by grabbing her hands. Amy steps
back.
AMY
I'm sorry. It was an accident.
BEN
Baby, calm down. It was an
accident.
Carista lulls herself. Ben finally releases his grip.
19.

CARISTA
I’m calm. I’m calm. I’m fucking
calm.
(to Amy)
I’m... I'm sorry. I'm just stressed
out with all the planning.
AMY
No, I'm sorry too. I broke your
fiance’s nose.
BEN
It’s not technically broken.
CARISTA
(not listening to Ben)
Don’t worry about him, Ben’s always
been the soft one.
BEN
I’m not the soft one.
CARISTA
Honey, shush.
(to Amy)
Amy, I assumed you own this place?
It's Amy's Garden, right?
AMY
That's right.
CARISTA
Goody, that means discount. You're
comin' with me, sister.
Carista walks side by side with Amy. Puts her arm around her.
Amy amazed by Carista’s towering posture.
AMY
God, you’re tall.
Carista and Amy walk to the counter. Leaving Ben with the
bucket of flowers.
BEN
I'm fine. Here. All alone. Do you
need help with this?
Amy looks back to Ben. Points to the display table.
AMY
Yeah, could you put that on the
table? Thank you.
20.

BEN
You’re welcome.
Ben picks up the bucket. Goes to the display table. ANGLE ON
Amy and Carista as they sit on stools behind the counter.
AMY
Do you have any flower in mind?
CARISTA
There are so many to choose. What
do you think?
AMY
Hold on, let me get the catalog.
Amy turns around. Pulls out a CATALOG BOOK from the SHELF
behind her.
AMY (CONT’D)
Are you planning the wedding on
your own?
CARISTA
Yes, I can’t really trust any
planner other than myself.
AMY
Gosh, no wonder you're so
overwhelmed. I can never pull all
of that on my own. My friend
planned everything for me.
CARISTA
That's right, you're getting
married too. Congratulations.
AMY
You too. I can tell Ben's gonna be
a great husband.
CARISTA
Yeah, he is a great guy... So,
where's your fiancé? Does he work
here too?
AMY
Oh, no, he's an editor... for
Vogue, but he's here somewhere.
CARISTA
Vogue? Wow.
21.

Amy stands up on the stool - searches for Julian. Beat. Amy
spots Julian from afar.
AMY
Julian, come here!
Amy sits back down. Finds Ben staring at her, awkwardly.
AMY (CONT’D)
What?
BEN
For a small girl, you have an
enormous voice. Like a Siren.
Amy shrugs. Beat. Julian comes up to the counter. As Julian
comes to the counter, Carista turns to Amy and gives her a
thumbs up and a dropped jaw for scoring a gorgeous guy.
AMY
Jules, meet Ben and Carista.
They're getting married the same
day as us.
Julian shakes hands with Ben and Carista.
JULIAN
Hi. Julian, nice to meet ya.
Julian tilts his head as he gazes upon Carista.
JULIAN (CONT’D)
Carista, have we ever met? You look
familiar.
CARISTA
I don’t think so.
Julian pauses. Searches his brain. Can’t remember anything.
JULIAN
Ah, I guess I’ll never know. You
two getting married, huh? Where?
BEN
The Boathouse.
JULIAN
That's great. How did you manage to
get The Boathouse?
22.

CARISTA
Ow, Ben here, got some connections.
Presto Chango, and we got The
Boathouse.
AMY
You know, what? You guys wanna come
to our apartment? Dinner? Me and
Julian are looking for another
couple to hang out with anyway.
Julian here makes the best... The
best meatloaf.
JULIAN
She’s just being nice, but it’s
true.
CARISTA
That would be fun. Ben?
BEN
All right, but I’m only doing this
for the meat loaf.
(off their laughs)
Tomorrow night?
Julian and Amy exchange looks. Nod.
AMY
It's a date.
CARISTA
(to Amy)
Good, that way you can finish
explaining about the flowers.
(to Ben)
Because we now are late for our
couples tanning.
BEN
Babe, do we really have to do the
tanning? You're already tan as it
is. People might think you have
liver failure or something.
CARISTA
Yes we do, because we have to look
amazing for our wedding.
AMY
Someone's whipped. Waa-tash.
CARISTA
Tell me about it. He's my dog.
23.

Carista waves goodbye. Walks away. Ben waves to Amy.
BEN
Gotta follow the master now.
AMY
Hey, make sure she snaps your
belly.
BEN
Hilarious.
(to Julian)
Julian, nice to meet you.
JULIAN
You too, man.
Julian and Ben shake hands. Julian slaps Ben’s ass. Ben walks
out with a WEIRD expression.
INT. CAB - NIGHT
Ben and Carista are in the backseat of a Cab. They’re on
their way to Amy and Julian’s apartment.
INT. AMY/JULIAN’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
CLOSE ON a platter of delicious MEATLOAF placed on the center
of the dining table. ZOOM OUT to see Julian - looking at the
meatloaf with such pride. Amy crops up behind Julian - gives
him a peck on the cheek.
AMY
Babe, that’s probably your best
meatloaf yet. You are truly the
master of your craft.
JULIAN
Thanks, hon.
We intercut between cab and kitchen as Ben and Carista sit
closely on the middle of backseat. They begin kissing each
other, tempestuously. Beat. INDIAN CAB DRIVER sees this
through his MIRROR.
CAB DRIVER
(Indian accent)
Hey! Hey! There will be no hanky
panky inside my cab. Stop that.
Ben and Carista stop kissing, then Ben leans forward.
24.

BEN
But, I’m not the one who started
it. She groped me.
Cab Driver studies Ben’s face through the mirror.
CAB DRIVER
I find that hard to believe. You
look like a hound dog.
Amy and Julian then stroll to the couch hand in hand -
collapse on it. Both of them exhale deeply. As they play with
each other’s hands, Julian notices that Amy’s finger has been
cut.
JULIAN
Hon, you’re bleeding.
AMY
Huh? Well, look at that.
CARISTA
We’re engaged...
(looks to the ID)
Rasheed, so that’s okay, right?
RASHEED
Congratulations... but still no.
CARISTA
How ‘bout we pay you?
RASHEED
100 for BJ. 500 for the sex.
BEN
Whoa, 500? You’re cab whore, aren’t
you, Rasheed?
RASHEED
That’s for the cleaning. All you
white people can’t aim and I
usually have to clean up all of
those baby gravy.
CARISTA
Ugh.
BEN
Ew.
Julian rises up - goes to the kitchen - snatches the FIRST
AID KIT. Goes back to Amy - gingerly cleans up the blood and
applies a Band-Aid.
25.

JULIAN
You know what you’re gonna do
without me?
AMY
(kisses Julian’s cheek)
What am I going to do without you?
JULIAN
Crash and burn, most likely.
AMY
Then thank you for not letting me
crashing and burning.
CARISTA
Okay, how much for just kissing?
RASHEED
50.
CARISTA
Rasheed, are you here legally?
RASHEED
All right, 25.
Julian sits back beside Amy. Amy hugs Julian while Julian
picks up the TV remote - switching channels.
AMY
Baby, how was your day?
JULIAN
(switching channels)
It was good. We just got Stella
McCartney’s summer collection,
they’re pretty awesome.
Amy winces. She’s getting annoyed of the constant fashion
talk. Ben and Carista lounge their backs to the backseat.
Stare at each other.
BEN
You are so intimidating, it’s so
sexy.
CARISTA
Oh, wait ‘til we get married, I’m
gonna emasculate the shit out of
you.
BEN
Oh, I’d like to see you try.
26.

Ben growls - grabs Carista - starts playfully biting her.
Carista giggles. They end up wrestling in the backseat.
RASHEED
Hey! Hey! That’ll cost extra!
Julian channels all of his attention to the TV - completely
ignoring Amy.
AMY
Honey, do you have other stories
other than fashion stories?
JULIAN
Babe, I work in fashion. What do
you wanna hear anyway?
AMY
I don’t know... Tell me you farted
or something... belched.
JULIAN
That’s gross and I will never do
tha--
SFX: BUZZ
The front door buzzer buzzes. Ben and Carista are at the
front door.
INT. AMY/JULIAN’S APARTMENT - 30 MINUTES LATER
Amy, Julian, Carista and Ben are having a nice dinner with
MEAT LOAF as the main course.
CARISTA
So, how you two met?
AMY
It was a year ago, he came in to my
shop looking for some flowers for
his girlfriend... at the time. One
thing led to another...
Amy sways side to side and throws a cute smile.
BEN
Cheater.
AMY
(smiles)
I was a bit promiscuous back then.
27.
(MORE)

But hey, every girl has a slut in
them, right?
CARISTA
Amen to that... So, Jules. Amy told
me you work for Vogue. That's so
cool.
JULIAN
Yes, I'm one of three editors,
responsible for day to day basis.
Just last month we held this party
for the entire Victoria’s Secret
models. It was hectic.
Carista flinches. Julian brights up, finally remembers where
he met Carista. Julian and Carista gaze to each other -
something’s up. Julian quickly changes the subject. Obvious,
He’s hiding something.
JULIAN (CONT’D)
Well... Um... Ben, what do you do?
BEN
Oh, I'm in investment. My friend
and I have this company, we do
okay.
CARISTA
He used to work at Merryl Lynch,
but he got fired.
BEN
They didn't fire me. I quit.
AMY
What happened?
CARISTA
Yeah, tell them.
BEN
(sighs)
They caught me doing an upper
decker on my boss's personal
bathroom.
Amy bursts out laughing. Wine comes out of her nose. Amy
covers her mouth and nose. Snorts.
JULIAN
What's an upper decker?
28.
AMY (CONT'D)

BEN
It's when you take a dump on the
upper part of the toilet.
Julian exclaims in disgust. Pulls out his tongue - tries not
to gag.
AMY
Okay, enough with the disgusting
story. You guys up for the
desserts?
CARISTA
None for me, thanks.
BEN
After that story, I’m hungry again.
What are we having?
Amy and Julian take the DIRTY DISHES to the kitchen. Beat.
Come back with three bowls of crème brulee.
AMY
Crème Brulee.
Amy notices the brulees aren’t torched.
AMY (CONT’D)
Oh, hon, I forgot to torch it.
BEN
Can I do it?
JULIAN
Sure, I'll go get the torch.
Julian goes to the kitchen. Beat. Comes back with some SUGAR
and a BROWNING TORCH. Ben stands up - takes the torch.
BEN
Okay. What do I do?
AMY
First off, put some sugar on top of
the brulees. And you want to make
them even.
Ben pours the sugar evenly on each bowl.
AMY (CONT’D)
Now, you torch it until they turn
brownish. They changed fast, so you
might want to be careful with the
torch.
29.

BEN
Done.
Ben fires up the torch. CLICK. Nothing happened. Ben shakes
the can - smacks the can, two times. Fires up the torch
again. The torch finally SPITS fire.
BEN (CONT’D)
Ah, there we go.
Suddenly, the torch goes out of control. Sets Julian’s hair
on fire. Julian frantically runs around the room. SCREAMS.
CARISTA
Oh! Oh! Oh!
BEN
Shit!
Amy grabs a napkin - pours water on it. Runs after Julian.
AMY
Stop running around! Ben, help!
Ben tackles Julian - pins him to the floor. Amy jumps on top
of Julian - puts out the fire with the napkin.
CUT TO:
INT. AMY/JULIAN’S APARTMENT - LATER
Julian sits on the sofa - hair and eyebrow burnt in half -
looking at his reflection on the HAND MIRROR. Ben, Amy and
Carista try to cheer him up.
AMY
Honey, you still look good. Right,
guys?
Amy turns to Ben and Carista - hoping for some help.
CARISTA
Oh yeah... with some makeup and a
wig, that bald patch would
disappear.
(clicks fingers)
Just like that.
BEN
Jul, I'm sorry. The torch got away
from me... but hey, with that
eyebrow you look like a gangster.
Don't cut me, ese.
30.

JULIAN
It's fine. I guess I could pull off
the crop hair.
BEN
That's the spirit. Fire never kill
people.
AMY
What?
BEN
I don-- I don’t know. I’m fucking
nervous.
CARISTA
I think we should go now, Ben.
Carista pulls Ben away. Time to go home.
BEN
Again, so sorry about this. Don't
kill yourself about this, okay
buddy?
AMY
Ben!
BEN
I-- I’m done. I’m done.
Amy accompanies Ben and Carista to the door while Julian sits
quietly on the sofa.
CARISTA
Feel better, Jules.
Carista leaves while Ben stays and apologizes one more time.
BEN
Amy, I'm so sorry. I'll pay for the
burnt therapy or something.
AMY
Burnt therapy?
BEN
I don-- Hmm...
AMY
It's okay, don't worry about it.
It's fine... You know, if I don't
know any better, I’d say that was
your way of payback for the nose.
31.

BEN
Okay, now you're making me feel
bad.
AMY
Good night, Torcher.
BEN
Hey, Julian. Sorry about the torch,
the hair and the eyebro--
(to Amy)
Night, Macer.
Ben leaves. Amy closes the door. Goes to the sofa. Sits next
to Julian.
JULIAN
Poor guy.
AMY
He burned your hair and you feel
sorry for him?
JULIAN
She was with someone. Victoria’s
Secret party.
AMY
Who? Carista?
JULIAN
No, The Princess of Guam, of course
Carista. She was with this old man.
Old enough to be her great
grandfather.
AMY
Maybe that was her great
grandfather?
JULIAN
If that man were her great
grandfather then what they did at
that party was illegal in... well,
all states.
AMY
What did they do?
JULIAN
I don’t wanna say, but it was
totally icky.
32.

AMY
Oh, God. Poor Ben.
Amy lays back. Feels sorry for Ben. Dazed by the news.
JULIAN
Honey, could you massage my scalp?
Amy massages Julian’s SCALP. Picks off BURNT HAIRS.
AMY
Ugh, burnt curly hairs.
EXT. FINANCIAL DISTRICT - NEXT DAY
Amy paces toward an UNKNOWN LOCATION - while she talks to
Zoey on the phone - a FLOWER BOUQUET on her other hand.
AMY
Zoe, I’m in the precipice of
telling a friend that his
girlfriend might be cheating on
him.
ZOEY (O.S.)
Amy, what are you doing? Do you
have any proof?
AMY
No, but he deserve to know, right?
ZOEY
What if you’re wrong? You’re gonna
ruin his life. Don’t do it... Do I
know him? Who?
Amy halts right at the front of a FINANCIAL BUILDING.
AMY
I’m here already, I gotta go.
Amy closes her cellphone. Moves toward the ENTRANCE but then
she quits her walking - turns around and start walking away
whilst shaking her head. Beat. She comes back - enters the
building.
INT. G&G INVESTMENT - BEN’S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
Ben goes through a pile of PAPERWORK on his desk. Types
numbers into his MACBOOK. GRACE, Ben and Adam’s ASSISTANT
comes into the room.
33.

GRACE
Mr. Goodman. There's an Amy Lane
outside.
BEN
Amy? Yeah, let her in.
Grace lets Amy in. Amy walks in - extends the flower bouquet
to Ben. Ben draws near to her.
BEN (CONT’D)
You brought me flowers.
AMY
Just something to bright up the
office.
Ben takes the flowers. Goes to the BIG WINDOW behind his
desk. Puts the flowers in an empty vase.
BEN
Thanks, I'll make sure this gets
watered every day.
Ben turns around. They both sit - look to each other.
Smiling. Beat...
AMY
So, this is you office? Any good
view?
Amy walks to the big glass window. Finds a BINOCULARS on top
of the FILING CABINET.
AMY (CONT’D)
You got binoculars? Who are you
spying?
Ben pops up beside Amy.
BEN
Oh, there's this one guy, right in
that building...
Ben points to a BUILDING across. Amy uses the binoculars -
follows the direction.
BEN (CONT’D)
Me and my buddy are at war with
that guy.
AMY
Pee balloon fights?
34.

BEN
Worse... And at 10 o'clock you can
see Mrs. Haysworth shitting into
her daughter in law's flower pot.
PAN TO MRS. HAYSWORTH on top of another building. Ben and Amy
wince and exclaim.
BEN (CONT’D)
(shouting)
That's big one, Mrs. Haysworth!
MRS. HAYSWORTH (O.S.)
Thank you, dear.
AMY
Hey, you want to go to lunch?
BEN
After that? I don't think I'm gonna
be eating at least 'til Friday.
AMY
(staring at Ben)
I’m serious. C’mon... C’mon...
C’mon... C’mon...
BEN
All right, stop it. I’ll go.
AMY
C’mon... C’mon.
Adam barges in whilst eating an APPLE.
ADAM
Hey, Benny Boy! You ready for
lunch?
Ben and Amy turn around. Adam, as soon as he sees Amy - drops
his apple - extends his hand - walks toward Amy.
ADAM (CONT’D)
Holy shi-- Adam Gill, nice to meet
you.
Adam and Amy shake hands. Adam won’t let go.
AMY
I’m Amy.
35.

ADAM
Amy, that's a nice name. Amy, by
any chance, do you like Mamma Mia,
Amy?
BEN
Mamma Mia? Cut it out!
Ben separates Adam’s hand from Amy’s - forcefully. Adam
groans.
BEN (CONT’D)
I'm going with Amy for lunch.
ADAM
Good, I'll join you guys.
AMY
Sure.
BEN
Nope.
Adam looks to Amy. Pans to Ben. Turns back to Amy. Turns back
to Ben. Looks to his nose. Adam realizes something.
ADAM (CONT’D)
(points to Ben’s nose)
Amy, are you by any chance, the
girl who did this, Amy?
BEN
Why do you keep calling her name?
ADAM
You shut up, I'm talking to her.
AMY
It was an accident, but yes.
ADAM
I KNEW IT!
BEN
Okay, you’ve got to go. You’ve got
to go.
ADAM
Amy, he lik--
Ben pushes Adam to the door - clutches his hand over Adam’s
mouth. Adam tries to yell, but only muffled words come out.
Ben turns to Amy.
BEN
Amy, could you wait here for a
minute, Amy?
36.
(MORE)

(to Adam)
Oh great, now you got me doing it.
INT. G&G INVESTMENT - CONTINUOUS
Ben closes the door. Turns to Adam.
ADAM
Dude! That's the girl?! She's hot
and cute at the same time! She's
Houte! Fuck Carista! Marry that
girl.
BEN
Are you fucking insane?! She's
engaged.
ADAM
AHA! Your answer implies that you
do like her.
BEN
Huh?
ADAM
You should've said, I'm engaged.
GRACE (O.C.)
Yeah, you should've said that.
PAN TO Grace - at her desk - behind Ben and Adam.
BEN
Grace!
ADAM
Hah, see? Even Grace agrees with
me. You do like her. Tell me about
her fiancé?
BEN
Other than, I burned his hair with
a browning torch last night, he’s a
good guy.
ADAM
You burned the guy's hair? Classic
sign of jealousy.
GRACE (O.C.)
Mmm, jealousy.
PAN TO Grace - sipping her coffee - faces PC MONITOR.
37.
BEN (CONT'D)

BEN
Grace, drink your damn coffee.
(to Adam)
You, shut up. I'm not jealous, it
was an accident.
Adam struts to Grace’s desk. Adam and Grace lift their
eyebrows. Stare at Ben. Not blinking. Beat. Ben gets
uncomfortable. Irritated.
BEN (CONT’D)
It was! I hate you guys. You guys
are jerks.
Ben goes inside his office. Adam and Grace stick their necks
out. Stare at Ben as he walks into his office and closes the
door.
INT. G&G INVESTMENT - BEN’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Ben finds Amy sitting on his chair. Browsing his laptop.
BEN
Hey, private property.
AMY
Sorry. I tried to find porn, but
your expense report are actually
expense report.
GRACE (O.S.)
(over the phone)
Mr. Goodman. Mr. Takayama is on
line one.
Ben runs to his desk. Presses the INTERCOM BUTTON.
BEN
(to the phone)
Patch him through, Grace. Thank
you... Takayama-San, what can I do
for you?
ADAM (O.S.)
(over the phone)
Amy, Ben thinks you're cute, Amy.
Amy, He likes you, Amy.
Ben quickly pulls the phone from its CHORD. Gingerly, he puts
the phone back on the table. Smiles awkwardly to Amy. Amy
smiles back. Giggles.
38.

BEN
So, lunch?
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - LATER
We follow Ben and Amy as they walk the park. SOFT PRETZELS in
their hands.
AMY
You think I'm cute, eh?
BEN
(sighs)
Yes, I think you are very pretty.
And no, I'm not gonna try to hit
you or whatever.
AMY
Why not?
BEN
(quits walking)
Because you’re... I'm engaged and
so are you.
Amy glances back to the nervous Ben. Smiles.
AMY
I’m messing with you. Do you always
get this nervous?
BEN
Hah, funny.
They both sit on a BENCH.
AMY
Ben...
Amy brakes. She wants to tell Ben about Carista, but she
couldn’t do it. She keeps replaying what Zoey told her.
ZOEY (O.S.)
(inside Amy’s mind)
You’re gonna ruin his life. Don’t
do it.
Then, Amy changes her mind, instead of breaking Ben’s heart,
she opted to befriended him.
AMY
...you wanna hang out?
39.

BEN
We are hangin’ out.
AMY
I meant after this... you wanna
hang out with me again?
BEN
What? Like friends?
AMY
Yeah, why not? To be honest, I need
someone I could hang out with. I
mean I love Julian, but all we do
is share feelings... over and over
again. It was fun at first, but
now, I kinda miss the fun of just
being silly.
BEN
Ah, so... you need me to make you
laugh. What about me? What’s in it
for me?
AMY
I’m sensing that you and Carista
are a one way street relationship?
BEN
Well, I’m not gonna say that
exactly, but yeah, sometimes it’s
hard to be a man around her, plus
we never talk about stuff other
than sex acts... you know, Rusty
Trombone... Dirty Sanchez.
AMY
Ew, ew... stop it.
BEN
I thought you want to gag?
AMY
Yea, laughing, not puking.
BEN
(chuckles)
I’m sorry, but, what about Julian?
AMY
I’m sure he’s going to be fine. I
love him. You love Carista?
40.

BEN
Yeah, of course, but two opposite
sex - both so very attractive.
AMY
Thank you.
BEN
That can be trouble.
AMY
Not if we keep it plutonic. I mean
look at them.
Amy points to a COUPLE passing by. They’re holding hands.
AMY (CONT’D)
I’m pretty sure they’re friends.
BEN
Friends with benefits.
AMY
We’ll be like them. Without the
benefit.
BEN
There’s no benefit? I’m gonna pass.
I mean as an investor I was taug--
Amy pushes her hand against Ben’s face. Play for beat. They
both smile.
AMY
You get my point, right?
BEN
I know... So, friends?
Ben and Amy shake hands.
AMY
Friends.
MONTAGE BEGINS
INT. TUXEDO STORE - DAY
Ben comes out with a James Bond-esque TUXEDO. Lifts his
eyebrow. PAN TO Amy sitting on the couch. Guffaws.
41.

Amy is busy preparing flowers for another couple’s wedding.
She’s explaining the various genus of flowers to the couple.
EXT. BAR - NIGHT
Amy introduces Zoey and Abby to Ben. They enter the bar.
Ben comes out wearing a penguin-esque tuxedo. Amy LAUGHS.
Falls to the ground.
BEN
I feel like a pregnant penguin.
INT. G&G INVESTMENT - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
CLOSE ON Ben as he is talking on the phone with Amy - he ends
the conversation - turns around. REVEAL: the room is filled
with investors.
BEN
I’m sorry, where was I?
INT. AMY/JULIAN’S APARTMENT - DAY
Amy takes out a batch of perfect creme brulee from the oven.
Ben fires up the torch. Ends up torching the KITCHEN DRAPES.
Panic, Amy grabs an EMPTY GLASS. Goes to the SINK. Waits for
the glass to be filled while Ben blows at the burning drapes.
INT. GYM - NIGHT
Amy fights Adam in the ring. Ben coaches her. Amy punches
Adam by the throat, a punch to the rib, KICKS his thigh and
groin. Adam goes down. GROANS. Amy knuckle-bumps with Ben.
ADAM
This is boxing! Not mixed martial
art! No kicking!
INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY
Ben, Carista, Amy and Julian are taking dance lessons for
their weddings and makes it a double date.
42.

Ben exhibits a light pink tuxedo. Amy covers her face. Shakes
her head, hard.
BEN
Anyone got Antacid?
INT. BEN’S APARTMENT & AMY/JULIAN’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
We intercut between the two apartments as Ben and Amy talk to
each other on the phones while both Julian and Carista look
at them in jealousy.
INT. G&G INVESTMENT - BEN’S OFFICE - DAY
Amy and Ben watch as THE GUY on the building across about to
drink his coffee. Binoculars’s POV: the guy drinks his
coffee. Ben and Amy laugh.
Ben presses SEND on his laptop. Binocular’s POV as the guy
reads his e-mail - SPITS out his coffee - GAGS.
PAN TO the next building revealing Mrs. Haysworth peeing into
her daughter in law’s flower pot.
AMY
Nice stream, Mrs. Hayworth!
MRS. HAYSWORTH (O.S.)
Hello, dear.
Ben is helping out, lugging all of the flower pots as Amy is
busy servicing the customers at the counter.
INT. BEN’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ben, Amy, Julian and Carista are having their second dinner.
Ben and Amy laugh. Telling these stories while Julian and
Carista stare at them. We can tell by their expressions that
jealousy in the air.
Ben shows Amy a checkered suit. Amy chucks a BOTTLE OF WATER.
Ben avoids it. Goes back to the fitting room.
43.

END OF MONTAGE
Ben comes out with the PERFECT SUIT - D&G SLIM FIT SUIT with
a SKINNY TIE. Amy finally approves.
AMY
Finally.
Ben exhales deeply. Relieved. Amy draws near to Ben -
straightens Ben’s skinny tie. Finished, Amy puts her hands on
Ben’s chest. They stare at each other. Beat. Amy sighs.
AMY (CONT’D)
I-- I was wondering maybe we could
set Zoey and Adam up, what do you
say?
Ben coughs. Steps back from Amy. Looks to the mirror.
Awkwardly.
BEN
Yeah? You think they're gonna work?
I don't know about Zoey, but Adam’s
a disaster.
AMY
They're both disasters. That's why
they’ll work.
Ben shrugs. Agrees.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
Ben and Adam walks in - find Amy, Abby and Zoey at the end
booth. They walk to them.
AMY
Hey.
BEN
Hey.
(to Abby and Zoey)
Hey, guys.
AMY
Zoe, Abby, this is Adam.
BEN
Zoey, this is the guy I've been
telling you about. This is Adam.
44.

Adam shakes hands with Abby.
ZOEY
I've kinda heard it when Amy said
his name.
Zoey refuses to shake Adam’s hand.
ADAM
Who brought the giant bowl of
sunshine over here?
ZOEY
Your momma. After I munched her
rug.
ADAM
Hah, my mom's a whore, so the jokes
on you. Face.
AMY
Guys, be nice.
Ben and Adam sit down. Adam sits next to Zoey.
ABBY
Ben, I’ve been meaning to ask you.
What's your deal? Try to steal my
sister from Julian?
AMY
Abby?!
(to Ben)
Ben, just ignore her.
BEN
No, it's okay. That's legitimate
question.
(to Abby)
Why makes you think that?
ABBY
'Cause I never see a guy be just
friends with a girl without
ulterior motives.
BEN
Let me break it down, your sister
is by far, the second prettiest
girl I have ever seen. I'm not
gonna lie, but, it’s strictly
plutonic and I like having a friend
who’s a girl other than this
pathetic son of a bitch.
45.

Ben points to Adam.
ZOEY
Could you tell your son of a bitch
to not breathe into my nostril?
ADAM
God, could you be more of a bitch?
ZOEY
(to Amy)
Listen, Amy. I know this is a set
up, but there’s no way I’m going to
fuck him.
ADAM
I’m fuckin’ over here, you frigid,
cold, icy pair of loins. Don’t get
too cocky, I wouldn’t wanna fuck
you either. I bet you haven't had
sex in a while, huh? 'Cause no guy
in his right mind would want to
fuck you.
ZOEY
I had sex fifteen minutes ago.
BEN
(to Amy)
Did she... Did she, really?
AMY
Yeah, before you guys came in. With
that guy.
PAN TO a BULKY GUY at the bar - winking at the group. Adam
feels challenged when he sees the bulky guy.
ADAM
You know what? I changed my mind.
I'm going to make it my life's
mission to--
(to Ben)
Ben, write this down.
BEN
No, I won't.
ADAM
(to Zoey)
You listen to me and you listen
good, woman. I will fuck you one
day and never call you back.
46.
(MORE)

And you will feel like every women
I slept with--
ZOEY
Unsatisfied with your worthless
dick? Or lack of?
ABBY
Oh! Two nothing. Give it up, dude.
ADAM
I'm going to make you cry while I
fuck you--
ZOEY
Yeah, 'cause I'm being humiliated
and embarrassed by your worthless
piece of phallus.
ADAM
Hmm--
Adam stops talking. Turns to Ben for help. Ben shakes his
head.
BEN
You're done. You're done.
ADAM
Fuck this! Ben, let’s go.
Ben and Adam stand up. Adam stomps away to the exit. Beat.
Comes back.
ADAM (CONT’D)
One day, bitch! You wait and see!
Zoey gives the middle finger to Adam. Ben chuckles. Turns to
Amy.
BEN
Can’t say we didn’t try.
AMY
(chortles)
I’ll call you later.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Adam walks heavily with Ben behind him.
BEN
You okay, buddy?
47.
ADAM (CONT'D)

ADAM
Fuck, no. Fucking bitch! I'm not
kidding about that, by the way. I
want you to take me every time you
see her! I'll find ways to sleep
with her. I'll do unethical things
to prove my point! I'll drug her
and fuck her while she’s asleep! I
swear to God, I will do that.
(beat)
I'll make her pregnant and not be
responsible. I'll be Michael
Jackson and she can be Billie Jean.
I'll make her sing “Papa Don't
Preach!”
BEN
Will you calm down! Some sick shit
you just said.
ADAM
You calm your ass down! I need
angry sex with some random. C’mon!
Adam and Ben walk to another bar. PAN TO a BAR across the
street called THE COCK. REVEAL: Julian exiting the bar with
some guy who looks like DEREK JETER. Holding hands. Ben sees
them.
BEN
FUCK!
Ben grabs Adam by the collar - hide behind a PARKED CAR. They
take a peek.
BEN (CONT’D)
(points to Julian)
That’s Amy’s fiance!
ADAM
Amy's marrying a gay dude? Great
for them! And for you, man! Open
marriage!
BEN
She doesn't know he's gay... I
don’t think she knows. That could
be nothing, right? Maybe that's his
cousin.
ADAM
(slaps Ben)
Are you fucking stupid?
48.
(MORE)

He's holding hands with some guy
wearing a tight yellow polo, from a
club called The Cock! You need any
more proof?
They peek out one more time. CLOSE ON Julian kissing the guy.
ADAM (CONT’D)
Well, there's your proof... Give me
your phone.
Ben gives Adam his CELL PHONE. With it, Adam stands up -
takes pictures of Julian and the other guy. Ben pulls Adam
back down.
BEN
The fuck you’re doing?
ADAM
Evidence, man. You could show this
to Amy.
BEN
Give me that. I'm deleting it.
ADAM
No you're not. You're not deleting
it.
Ben wrestles Adam for the cell phone on the CURB. Adam bites
Ben’s arm.
INT. BEN’S APARTMENT - LATER
Ben enters - finding Carista on the couch. Watching the TV.
BEN
C, you would never believe who Adam
and I saw. Julian was with this
guy.
CARISTA
Julian was with some guy?
BEN
Not just with, he was kissing the
dude.
CARISTA
Whoa!
Ben takes out his cell phone. Gives it to Carista.
49.
ADAM (CONT'D)

BEN
Adam took pictures. I tried
deleting them, but Adam somehow
made it undeletable. We ended up
fighting for the phone... on the
curb.
Carista scrolls the pictures. Flabbergasted.
CARISTA
Oh, my God. What are you gonna do?
BEN
Nothing I can do, it's their
problem, I don't want to meddle.
CARISTA
Yeah, you're right. It's not our
problem.
BEN
I'm going to take a shower. I think
that curb has urine and herpes.
Ben heads for the BATHROOM.
BEN (CONT’D)
I think I might need some
acyclovir.
As soon as Ben’s gone, Carista grabs her cell phone. Copies
the pictures.
INT. THE PLAZA - WEDDING HALL - DAY
There’s a wedding party inside The Plaza - The RAYMOND &
BURNETT Wedding - people dancing - sipping champagnes -
laughing - everything they do in weddings.
REVERSE ANGLE to see Ben, Zoey, Adam and Amy’s employees
standing at the back looking at the party. Ben peers back to
find Amy, but no such luck. Ben goes out of the Hall to find
Amy, as Ben walks out, in the b.g., Adam is busy arguing with
Zoey.
INT. THE PLAZA - EMPTY ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Ben walks into the room to find Amy sitting on the floor -
back against the wall.
50.

BEN
(ambling toward Amy)
There you are. What are you doing
here?
AMY
Freaking out.
Ben slides down and places himself next to Amy.
BEN
You’re freaking out? About what?
You’re welcome, by the way. For
helping you out with this wedding.
AMY
Oh, yeah, thanks for helping me.
BEN
And we’re back to freaking out.
AMY
I just... I keep imagining myself
turning into my mom.
BEN
What’s wrong with your mom?
AMY
She cheated on my dad. They’re
divorced.
BEN
I’m sorry.
AMY
I’m so afraid that I’ll turn to be
just that... a cheater. It’s only a
matter of time ‘til my cheating
bomb ticks out and I bursts into
this slut monster.
BEN
Hey, hey, what happened with your
parents... it’s a drag, but that’s
not gonna be you. You’re this
strong-willed, caring, devoted...
great wife material.
AMY
Ben, people cheat. People get
divorced. I mean, I can’t help the
fact that I have my mother’s
cheating gene.
51.
(MORE)

I even made a promise to myself
that I will never hurt Julian,
like... ever, but I don’t how long
that promise gonna last.
Ben cringes when Amy said that she made a promise to never
hurt Julian. Ben wants to tell about Julian and the other guy
but he couldn’t do that to his friend.
BEN
If people cheat and get divorced,
why my parents can stay together
for 40 years?
AMY
‘Cause they’re the exception and
we’re the rules... Your parents
have been together for 40 years?
BEN
Yup.
Amy expects Ben to go on with the story about his parents,
but Ben just sit still.
AMY
Well... tell me about them.
Ben sighs, but Amy maintains her stare on Ben. Beat. Ben
reluctantly complies - tells his parents’ story.
BEN
I love my mother so much if that
what you’re asking.
AMY
Your dad?
BEN
(sighs)
Do I really have to tell you about
my family?
AMY
Yes, because I’m your friend and
this is what friends do.
BEN
(grunts)
I hate the guy... well, it’s a love
hate situation, I’m supposed to
love the guy ‘cause he’s my dad,
but it was hard growing up with him
as a dad.
52.
AMY (CONT'D)
(MORE)

I remember when I was six, he made
me wake up at 4 AM everyday just to
do physical exercise.
AMY
He’s military?
BEN
Nope, he’s a Wall Street Guy, but
he could be a general if he wants
to... Huh... I really hate that he
always has to be right - everything
always has to be his way. I mean
God bless her, but my mom is too
stepfordy to stand up to my dad.
Amy brightens up as she listens to Ben’s story. She figures
Ben out. Smiles. Exclaims.
AMY
Huh, now I know why you’re with
Carista. Ben Goodman, you’re broken
inside.
BEN
What? I’m broken? I ain’t broken,
yo! What’s that got to do with my
dad?
AMY
Ow, c’mon. It’s so obvious. You
were drilled as a kid and you say
you don’t like it, but you’re
marrying Carista who’s... I don’t
wanna say a spitting image of your
dad, but in terms of emotional
abuse... I could say that.
BEN
I wasn’t “drilled” and... shut up!
AMY
(hugs Ben, puts his head
on her shoulder)
Oh, poor broken, little Ben. I
admit this cheers me up a bit.
BEN
So, you’re scared you’re gonna
cheat and you can’t do about it,
huh?
Amy grimaces. Just as she begins to forget about her
problems, Ben brings her right back to it.
53.
BEN (CONT'D)

AMY
Dude, cheap shot.
MAN VOICE (O.S.)
You two could kiss.
Ben startled - traces the voice to find a DRUNK MIDDLE AGE
MAN sitting in the dark.
AMY
Ben, meet the bride’s drunk uncle,
Jerry.
JERRY
You wanna prove you can be faithful
to your guy... kiss him. If you
don’t have any feeling kissing him,
you won’t have any problems.
AMY
Don’t listen to him, he’s drunk and
he already made that move on me.
Ben cogitates for awhile - Jerry’s idea makes a lot of sense.
BEN
To be fair, he’s got a point. If we
kiss and there’s no sparks, we can
go back to Carista and Julian with
the certainty that we would never
cheat on them.
Amy cerebrates also - she comes to a concur result.
AMY
(shrugs)
Okay, I’m in.
Ben and Amy moves closer to each other - they begin to kiss.
First it’s only a peck but it turns to this passionate,
intimate kiss. We can sense from the kiss alone that love is
in the air. Beat. They stop kissing.
JERRY
So?
Awkwardness begins to creep among Ben and Amy.
AMY
(exhales)
Na... Nope... No, no, no, no. N--
No attractions whatsoever.
54.

BEN
Yeah... No... yeah, no feelings...
Yeah... No.
INT. VOGUE - JULIAN’S OFFICE - DAY
Carista knocks on an opened door. Julian pans up. Surprised
to see her.
JULIAN
Carista Kramer. What a pleasant
surprise. Come in.
Carista strolls in. Closes the door. Turns around.
CARISTA
You’re gay.
JULIAN
What?
Before Julian can deny anything, Carista holds her cell phone
up - displaying the pictures. CLOSE ON the screen. Julian
snags the cell phone - studies the pictures.
JULIAN (CONT’D)
Where did you get this?
CARISTA
Ben took it. He saw you outside The
Cock. Really? The Cock?
JULIAN
They have the greatest Appletini!
Did he...
CARISTA
He hasn't told Amy yet. Neither
will I.
Julian gazes upon Carista for a beat. Throws a smirk.
JULIAN
Are... Are you blackmailing me?
'Cause two can play that game, you
evil minx.
Julian turns his MACBOOK - facing Carista. Presses “SPACE”
KEY. REVEAL: The RECORDING of THE VICTORIA’S SECRET PARTY -
Carista with some OLD MAN.
55.

JULIAN (CONT’D)
I called a few of my friends at the
gay league. Turns out you've been
dating Melvin Van Carsten, the 89
year old billionaire for over 8
months. I dug a little deeper and
found out that Ben's dad is Jack
Goodman, The Savage of Wall Street.
You are rotten to the bone, missy.
Julian presses “space” key one more time.
MUSIC: KANYE WEST’S “GOLDDIGGER” kicks in.
Julian grins while performing a ridiculous DANCE MOVE
(picture the Bill Hader’s dance in TROPIC THUNDER), for a
beat.
CARISTA
Amy knows?
JULIAN
(stop dancing)
She hasn’t seen the video, but yes.
CARISTA
All right, here's the deal. I'm
going to make sure Ben doesn't tell
Amy that you're locked in the
closet and you're gonna make sure
that Amy won’t tell Ben that I'm
working the graveyard shaft--
shift.
JULIAN
What do I get in return?
CARISTA
Boy, being gay sure doesn't make
you any sharper, does it? Those two
are getting really close. I'm not
ready to lose my trust fund and I'm
pretty sure that you still want to
prove you’re hetero to the whole
world.
JULIAN
You’ve got a plan, what's your
plan?
CARISTA
(stands up)
You just sit your gorgeous ass down
and wait... and see.
56.

Carista heads for the door. Stops. Turns back around.
CARISTA (CONT’D)
How do you do it? I mean, what are
you thinking when you have sex with
Amy?
JULIAN
(sighs)
Derek Jeter. Definitely.
Julian tip toes while Amy’s in the shower - moves to the
kitchen - snaps her cell phone from the kitchen table - opens
the back of the phone...
CARISTA (V.O.)
All I need you to do is get Amy’s
SIM card numbers.
Julian extracts the SIM card out of the cell phone and writes
it down on a piece of paper.
INT. VOGUE - JULIAN’S OFFICE - NEXT DAY
Julian just watches as Carista plugs in a FLASH DRIVE to his
MacBook.
CARISTA
I know this guy... he gave me this
cell phone tracking thingy.
JULIAN
That’s your plan? We’re gonna track
them? Yeah, that’s evil.
CARISTA
It’s more than just a tracking
device...
Ben and Carista are sitting on stools while Amy is behind the
counter - explains to them about their flower arrangements.
AMY
You can do tulips with peonies or
lilies with daisies for the center
piece. You are going with the blue
hydrangeas for the bouquet, right?
57.

CARISTA
Oh, I don’t know, which one is
prettier, Ben?
Carista and Amy look to Ben for a decisive answer. Ben pans
up to Amy - Ben and Amy exchange looks - Carista sees this -
she squints her eyes. Ben then looks to Carista.
BEN
Uh, everything looks pretty, hon.
No matter which flowers you pick,
you’re gonna look great.
CARISTA
Oh, baby. You are just too sweet of
a man.
Carista launches a lustful buss to Ben right in front of Amy.
Amy looks despondent when she sees the kissing - bows her
head all gloomy and awkward. Carista with her peripheral
vision - takes a peek at Amy and smiles.
In order to get Ben out of her mind, that night, Amy and
Julian have sex. Amy’s mind is filled with Ben’s face - she
shakes her head - opens her eyes - gazes at Julian for a
beat. Both of them close their eyes as they are trying to
concentrate, Julian is really having a hard time
concentrating.
JULIAN
(whispers)
Derek Jeter’s ass. Derek Jeter’s
asshole.
Not working. Julian slowly pulls out a MAGAZINE with Derek
Jeter on the cover without Amy knowing. Julian rejuvenated.
Humps Amy like a horse.
AMY
(panting)
OH YES! YES! BABY, YES!
(beat)
That’s the wrong hole! But that’s
fine, that’s okay.
INT. BEN’S APARTMENT & AMY/JULIAN’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
We intercut between the bedrooms as Julian and Carista try to
put iPods’ EARPHONES to Amy and Ben’s EARS.
58.

Carista has no problems plugging the earphones as Ben is very
sound asleep, but Julian faces challenges as Amy snores and
moves right and left as she sleeps. After a few short second,
Julian manages to put the earphones to Amy’s ears. Julian and
Carista press PLAY.
JULIAN (O.S.)
(over the iPod)
You are a sophisticated,
independent women who doesn’t need
to have sex with your fiancé that
much... oh and you will Ben’s joke
very crude, tasteless, childish,
annoying and irritating.
CARISTA (O.S.)
(over the iPod)
You need Carista in your life, you
don’t need to be friends with Amy.
Every time you see Amy you will
make a lot of jokes, obnoxious,
over the top jokes... and you will
buy Carista a chinchilla coat and 5
carat diamond earrings to match her
ring.
INT. GYM - DAY
Amy is on a TREADMILL - trying to shed some pounds before her
wedding. With a BLUETOOTH in her right ear, she talks with
Ben who’s at the office.
AMY
I need to cut weight if I wanna fit
in my dress. Julian’s been stuffing
me with sweets lately, I feel like
he’s gonna keep on feeding me and
then cook and eat me.
BEN (O.S.)
(over the bluetooth)
You’re ridiculous, you look great.
Here’s a fact, you’re phat as--
SFX: CLICK
The lines cut off. We cut for a beat to Ben’s office as his
line is cut too.
BEN (CONT’D)
(to the phone)
Wha-- Amy? Hello?
59.

Back to the Gym as Amy makes an insulted face - can’t
believed Ben would say that.
AMY
I’m a fat ass?!
EXT. STREET - DAY
Ben follows Amy as she stomps all the way to the MARRIAGE
BUREAU. He tries to explain what happened the other day when
their phone lines were cut off.
BEN
Amy, I didn’t call you a fat as--
AMY
Yes, yes, you did. You called me a
fat ass and then you just hung up
on me! It wasn’t funny!
BEN
I didn’t do that! The lines got cut
off.
AMY
Oh, how convenient, Ben. Just admit
it, you jackass!
Ben sweats and laughs, nervously. He tries to wing it with
another joke.
BEN
Amy, I wasn’t trying to call you a
fat ass, I was telling a joke. I
was gonna say that you’re phat...
as--
(giggling, figures out)
I get it now, it’s actually kinda
funny, you thought I called you a
fat ass.
AMY
(turns and glares at Ben)
Ben!
Amy continues walking with heavy steps.
BEN
Amy, you’re phat... P-H-A-T! Like
Lil Kim and J-Lo... stacked up...
vertically.
(beat)
60.
(MORE)

I don’t know why I said that. Amy,
I didn’t me--
BAM. Ben got smacked by Amy’s BAG. Amy grunts - groans at
Ben. Ben holds his cheek as he watches Amy leaves.
INT. BEN’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ben awaits for Carista on the bed.
CARISTA (O.S.)
(from the bathroom)
Are you ready for you present?
BEN
Very.
Carista comes out of the bathroom. REVEAL: Carista wearing
all black LATEX SUIT. With a WHIP in her hand. Ben’s jaw
dropped.
BEN (CONT’D)
Oh. My. God.
CARISTA
Silence, you worthless peasant.
Carista comes up to Ben. Whips him.
INT. VOGUE - JULIAN’S OFFICE - DAY
Julian and Carista are having CHINESE for lunch.
JULIAN
Does it occurred to you that our
plan always involves sex?
CARISTA
Worked so far.
JULIAN
(chewing)
Yeah, I know, but I’m tired. All
those humping.
INT. AMY/JULIAN’S APARTMENT - MORNING
Julian while pressing his cell phone against his ear - pours
LAXATIVE in Amy’s coffee.
61.
BEN (CONT'D)

JULIAN
(to the cell phone)
You sent the message?
CARISTA (O.S.)
(over the cell phone)
Yeah.
Amy thrusts in - goes to Ben in an instant. Amy’s face is
fuming.
AMY
(points Ben)
What is your problem?!
BEN
(dumbfounded)
Wha-- How-- What? What did I do?
AMY
(pulls out cell phone)
Don’t act innocent! You are the
most insensitive, ignorant and not
to mention, childish and your jokes
are not funny or even intelligent.
Amy extends with her rant while she gives Ben her cell phone.
Ben studies the message.
MESSAGE: “Amy, you’re not a fat ass... you can’t be fat. Your
body is totally bitchin’, but I’m just saying here... you
might wanna check out Liposuction clinic or whatever. LOL.
JK. Or am I? - Ben
Ben begins to hyperventilate - starts to throw gibberish
words while still looking down at the cell phone.
BEN
(nervous laughing)
I... I didn’t... I... Wha... How...
I don’t... Whe--
Ben pans up to find Amy leaning on his desk - clutching her
stomach. Her face suggests that she’s in pain.
BEN (CONT’D)
You okay?
AMY
(wincing)
No, I’m not!
62.
(MORE)

Your “clever” jokes make me want to
poop. I crapped like 3 times
already.
(groaning)
Where’s the bathroom?
Ben immediately rises up - runs to the right side of his
office - opens a WALL - turns out it’s his PERSONAL BATHROOM.
Amy flies into the bathroom - slams the door.
BEN
Amy, I know you’re mad at me, but
don’t upper deck my toilet.
INT. G&G INVESTMENT - BEN’S PERSONAL BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
Amy frantically pulls down her pants - quickly sits down
without even looking. BAM. Amy falls down the toilet - groans
madly - draws herself out of it.
AMY
(puts the seat down)
You didn’t put the seat down!
BEN (O.S.)
(from the other side)
Ho-- How is that my fault?
Amy sits - crapping like crazy - her face turns blue as she
push.
AMY
(groans)
I feel like I’m giving birth to a
cow! The size of Texas!
BEN (O.S.)
(from the other side)
Hah, funny, ‘cause everything is
bigger in Tex--
AMY
Ben! You gotta take to me to a
hospital, I can’t-- Argh!
SMASH CUT TO:
63.
AMY (CONT'D)

INT. NEW YORK DOWNTOWN HOSPITAL - EMERGENCY ROOM - LATER
Amy lies on a hospital BED - she’s feeling much better now.
We PAN TO her side and see Ben helping her - fluffing her
pillow and putting it behind her head for comfort. Amy
touched by Ben’s caring act that she mellowed out.
AMY
Ben, you don’t have to wait on me.
You have a meeting to go to.
BEN
It’s okay, I can reschedule. The
main thing is you being healt--
JULIAN (O.S.)
Jesus, hon, you okay? The hospital
called me. What happened?
Julian rushes to the bed - embraces Amy ever so tight.
BEN
She got some food poisoning, that’s
all.
Julian kisses Amy like crazy - making Ben uncomfortable and
slightly jealous. Looks like Julian’s little plan works.
BEN (CONT’D)
I’m gonna get outta here, leave you
two alone, okay?
AMY
(fending off Julian)
Hey, Ben... thanks for taking care
of me.
JULIAN
Yeah, Ben. Thank you.
BEN
Don’t mention it. All right, I’m
gonna scat on outta here.
Amy chortles at Ben’s joke which disturbed Julian. Amy was
supposed to be irritated by Ben’s jokes. Julian starts to
think: “Did the hypnosis wear off?”, “Did it even work?”,
“Derek Jeter’s ass.”
Ben exits the room - ambles through the hallway with his cell
phone pressed against his ear.
64.

BEN (CONT’D)
(to the phone)
C, where are you?
INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT
Ben and Carista are at a FUND RAISER. They dance on the
center of the ballroom. Ben’s phone starts to VIBRATE.
Carista feels the vibration.
CARISTA
Mr. Goodman.
She winks at him. Ben furrows his eyebrow.
BEN
It’s the phone.
CARISTA
I could’ve sworn it was something
else.
BEN
(off her winking)
How can I get it to vibrate?
Ben tries to pull out his cellphone from his PANTS POCKET,
but Carista blocks his hand with her THIGH. She whispers.
CARISTA
(whispers)
Baby, let’s do it in a stall.
BEN
Okay, what’s gotten into you? I
feel like I’m having a relationship
with a ‘roid up nymph, you know, a
Viagra induced bonobo monkey. All
we did this week were monkey sex.
CARISTA
Is it so awful that I love you this
much?
BEN
Well, love me less. I don’t wanna
break my hip before I’m 50.
Carista fixated on Ben - widen her eyes - intimidates Ben to
a comply.
65.

BEN (CONT’D)
Fine, but no foreplay. My tongue
cramped out the last time.
INT. MALL - DAY
Ben follows Amy while he carries all of Amy’s SHOPPING BAGS.
He does it as a way to say sorry for something he didn’t do.
BEN
I’m glad you called. It’s been
awhile since we hang out.
AMY
Where were you when I called? You
didn’t pick up.
BEN
I was at a fund raiser with
Carista. Hey, how you doing? Life
still shitty?
Ben chuckles for a beat, but Amy quits walking - turns to
Ben.
AMY
What was our rule?
BEN
No joking. Okay, okay, I’m sorry.
Amy stops outside this JEWELRY STORE.
BEN (CONT’D)
What?
Amy points to one necklace. REVEAL: a BLUE DIAMOND NECKLACE
on display.
AMY
Every time I go to this mall. I
always stop here.
BEN
It’s beautiful.
AMY
It kinda remind me of my grandma’s
old necklace. Exactly the same. I
figured if I saved enough money, I
could wear that for my wedding.
66.

BEN
Something blue and something new?
AMY
(smiles)
Yeah.
BEN
Or something borrowed?
Amy pans up to the grinning Ben. He raises his eyebrow.
Throws a wicked look.
AMY
What? Rob the place?
BEN
(gasps)
What? I didn’t say that! Security!
Security!
Amy playfully closes Ben’s mouth. Ben runs away while Amy
chases him.
PAN BACK to see Carista tailing them. With a WIG and a BIG
SUNGLASSES. Cell phone presses against her ear. She is going
berserk - her plan didn’t work one bit.
CARISTA
(to the phone)
What the fuck?! It didn’t work! The
plan didn’t work!
(beat)
Am I fuckin’ sure?! I’m lookin’ at
them right now... That’s it! I’m
done tip-toeing, your bitch is
going down.
INT. AMY’S GARDEN - LATER
Without any rational thinking, Carista stumps into the store.
Heads for the counter. Amy’s behind the counter - checking
the inventory. Carista stops right in front of it. Glowers at
Amy.
AMY
Hey, is everything okay?
CARISTA
No, I’m not okay, Amy. You’re
trying to take Ben away from me.
67.

AMY
What? I'm not trying to steal Ben.
You've got it all wrong. Ben's like
my brother.
CARISTA
A brother you’d like to hump!
AMY
Listen, you have to believe me. I
don't have that kinda feeling for
him.
Carista smacks the counter. Leans in.
CARISTA
(in intense voice)
Listen, bitch. Ben is mine and mine
alone. Get your whore of a hand off
of him or else, I will make your
life a living hell. I swear to
Lucifer, Balthazar or any demon
that will trade my soul for a power
to make yours miserable, I will do
it.
Amy stunned. Eyes opened.
AMY
I--
CARISTA
I would shut up if I were you. All
you got to do right now is
listen... Back the fuck off.
Beat. Carista steps back. SMILES.
CARISTA (CONT’D)
Okay, toodles.
Carista leaves Amy. Exits the store. Amy is still in shock.
Eyes opened wide. Jaws dropped.
EXT. STREET - DAY
Amy walks behind Zoey who’s fuming after Amy told her about
her encounter with Carista. We follow them as they walk.
ZOEY
Who the fuck does she think she
is?! Nobody calls my Amy, a bitch!
Only I get to call you a bitch.
68.

AMY
Zoe, calm down. It's not that big
of a deal.
ZOEY
Hon, I love you to death, but you
turned into this... chickenshit
every time someone gets in your
face.
AMY
(voice cracking)
I do not.
Amy stops. Whimpers. Zoey goes back for her.
ZOEY
You see what I'm saying? You don't
have to take this kinda shit from
anybody.
(beat)
You know what? You're gonna fight
back.
AMY
What?
ZOEY
Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna march down
to Blonde Bitchville and you're
going to yell at her. Come on.
Zoey grabs Amy by the arm. Drags her away.
INT. CARISTA’S PENTHOUSE - LATER
Zoey and Amy BARGE in. Stand in front of Carista who sits
comfortably on her 18TH CENTURY COUCH.
CARISTA
What do you want, Amy?
ZOEY
My friend got some beef with you.
But before we get into that, I got
to ask... what do you do for a
living? This place is ridonculous!
CARISTA
I'm what you called a socialite.
ZOEY
What? Like fucking Paris Hilton?
69.

CARISTA
No, not like fucking Paris Hilton!
I don't carry little dogs in my
purs-- What do you want?
Zoey nudges Amy forward.
ZOEY
(whispers)
C'mon, do it. Get mad.
AMY
(psyching herself)
Listen... Listen, you F!
ZOEY
You can say fuck.
AMY
Listen, you fuck! You can't tell me
what to do! Ben's my friend and
I'm... I'm... Line?
ZOEY
I'm going to see him whenever I
like.
AMY
What she just said! And there's
nothing you can do about it.
CARISTA
Amy, loo--
ZOEY
No, you look, Crista.
CARISTA
It’s Carista.
ZOEY
Whatever motherfucker! My friend
got something to say and you will
listen to her. Come on, Amy!
AMY
(to Zoey)
That was it. I got nothing to else
to say.
Zoey claps her hand over her face - shakes her head - she’s
disappointed with Amy’s performance. Carista chortles. Claps
for Amy and Zoey’s performance.
70.

CARISTA
Isn't that adoring? I feel like I’m
watching a puppet show. The puppet
and the puppet master... As amusing
as it is, this fake threat doesn't
scare me. Sorry, honey. Now please
leave my house before I send
someone to escort you two.
Zoey refuses to leave even though Amy dragging her away. Zoey
draws near to Carista. Leans forward, in a creepy manner.
ZOEY
This means war, bitch. You mess
with my homegirl, you mess with me.
You may know Amy, but you don't
know me. You don't know the things
I can do... Mark my word, you will
not marry Ben. I will make that
happen and believe me when I say
this, I'm not doing this for Amy,
I'm doing this just to spite you.
Carista rises up. Lunges in front of Zoey. Both Zoey and
Carista are face to face.
CARISTA
You better bring it, bitch!
ZOEY
Oh, I'll bring it, whore.
Little Amy pops up between Carista and Zoey.
AMY
Was that the line from "Bring It
On?"
Zoey and Carista turn to Amy. Glare at her. Amy goes away,
slowly and awkwardly. Zoey and Carista continue their stare
match.
EXT. STREET - MOMENTS LATER
Amy and Zoey emerge from the APARTMENT’S LOBBY. Zoey
immediately pulls out her cell phone. Dials. Amy follows her
like baby duck.
AMY
Zoe, I'm so turned on right now.
I'll be confused for an hour for
you.
71.

ZOEY
I'm going to take a rain check on
that one, hon. Right now, I gotta
meet someone.
Zoey gives Amy a peck on the cheek. Leaves her.
INT. G&G INVESTMENT - ADAM’S OFFICE - LATER
Adam is in a meeting with one of his clients. MR. HOYT -
wearing an ALL WHITE SUIT and sporting a WHITE BEARD. Grace’s
voice comes out of the phone.
GRACE (O.S.)
(over the phone)
Mr. Gill, there's a Zoey Wright
here for you. She said it's urgent.
ADAM
Excuse me one moment, Mr. Hoyt.
Adam presses intercom button.
ADAM (CONT’D)
(to the phone)
I’m in a meeting, Grace.
GRACE (O.S.)
(over the phone)
She's adamant to see you, Adam.
ADAM
(to the phone)
Zoey who?
ZOEY (O.S.)
It's Amy's friend, you fuckin'
faggot! Now, let me in!
Adam looks to the Mr. Hoyt. Apologizes instantly - ignoring
Zoey.
ADAM
I’m so very sorry about tha--
The door slams opened. Zoey barges in with Grace behind her.
GRACE
Adam, I’m sorry, I tried to stop
her.
72.

ADAM
It's okay, Grace.
(to Zoey)
What the hell are you doing here?
I'm with a client.
Zoey gazes upon Mr. Hoyt - eyeing him head to toe - glowers
at him.
ZOEY
Move it, Colonel Sanders of KFC.
Zoey points to the door. Mr. Hoyt stands up - palled, he runs
out the door - along with Grace. Leaving Adam with Zoey.
ADAM
You just cost me money!
ZOEY
I don't give a shit... We need to
talk.
ADAM
What do you want?! Close the door.
Zoey closes the door - moves toward the desk.
ZOEY
(sits down)
Carista Kramer. Ben might've
mentioned that you hate her. I too,
now, hate her.
ADAM
Geez, what did she do to you?
ZOEY
Never mind about that. I wanna take
her down. Break her and Ben up.
ADAM
Why do you want to do that? Is this
for Amy? Did she tell you to do
this?
ZOEY
No, I'm doing this for myself.
ADAM
So, when Ben breaks it off with
Carista, he's not gonna have Amy?
C'mon, those two are perfect for
each other.
73.

ZOEY
As much as I like Ben, Amy and
Julian are a great couple. I mean
if he’s gay, we could do that, we
could set Amy and Ben up.
ADAM
Oh, he's gay, all right. Ben and I
saw him kissing another dude
outside a bar called The Cock.
Adam picks up his cell phone - rifles through the FILES.
ZOEY
What? Are you serious?
Adam hands his cell phone to Zoey. Zoey checks the pictures -
in shock.
ADAM
So are we doing this? Break those
four up and set Amy and Ben
together?
ZOEY
Yeah, I guess.
ADAM
Okay. What's the plan?
ZOEY
First things first, tell me
something about Carista.
ADAM
Well, I think she's after Ben's
trust fund. Ben's dad is Jack
Goodman.
ZOEY
Jack "The Savage of Wall Street"
Goodman? That Jack?
ADAM
One in the same.
ZOEY
Oh, I'll bet she's after the money.
That's for sure.
(beat)
I got it. Here's what we gonna
do...
SMASH CUT TO:
74.

INT. THE COCK - NIGHT
ZOEY (V.O.)
I'm gonna take Amy to The Cock and
make sure she catches Julian in the
act.
Zoey, Amy and Abby walk in. They watch as the club is filled
with MUSCULAR MEN and a couple of MASCULINE WOMEN - dancing -
conversing and all kinds of stuff. Immediately, Zoey studies
the place for Julian.
MUSIC: TECHNO MUSIC blaring all over the club
AMY
Zoe, what's with the gay bar?! It’s
too loud! Techno!
ZOEY
What?! This is good change! It's
nice to go to a bar without getting
hit on!
ABBY
I kinda like being hit on!
AMY
There are lots of oiled up muscular
men!
A MAN with a SEE THROUGH SHIRT comes up to Amy.
GAY MAN #1
Baby, I love your dress!
AMY
Thank you, I like your shirt! It
really highlights you nipples!
Zoey searches the entire club. Julian isn’t there. Zoey
cringes.
INT. THE COCK - NEXT NIGHT
Amy and Zoey enter - accompanied by loud techno music.
AMY
What's the deal with you and this
bar?!
75.

ZOEY
(searching for Julian)
Huh? Nothing. I just like it here.
It’s soothing!
AMY
Ah, I gotta...
The music simmers down for a beat.
AMY (CONT’D)
...pee!
The crowd turn to Amy as the music blares back up. Amy looks
down as she goes to the rest room through the massive crowd,
embarrassed.
AMY (CONT’D)
(from the distant)
Someone’s pinching my butt. Excuse
me, that’s my butt.
Zoey asks around for Julian whereabouts. She approaches a GAY
MAN who’s dancing with his BOYFRIEND.
ZOEY
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Gay Man keeps on dancing. He can’t hear Zoey due to the loud
music. Zoey taps the gay man’s back.
ZOEY (CONT’D)
Hey, Rainbow Brigade, stop dancing.
GAY MAN #2
What is it, honey?
ZOEY
Do you know a Julian Graham? Does
he come a lot?
GAY MAN #2
I don't know this Julian, but call
me if you found out if he "comes" a
lot.
ZOEY
Wha-- Ew, keep it in your pants,
dude. I mean does he come here a
lot?
GAY MAN #2
I know, I'm kidding, honey. You
should ask the bartender.
76.

ZOEY
Okay, thanks. You can dance now.
Gay Man proceeds with his dancing while Zoey scowls.
ZOEY (V.O.)
Shit! Plan’s not working, I'm gonna
have to cheat on this.
Amy’s at the dinner table. Checks her e-mail - from
ANONYMOUS. REVEAL: pictures of Julian and the other guy.
Bedazed, Amy turns to Julian who’s sitting on the couch.
AMY
Julian, what’s this?
Amy turns her laptop toward Julian. Julian sees the pictures.
Rises up but in silent.
JULIAN
I-- I--
AMY
Are you gay?
(off his silence)
Answer me!
Julian moves to the table - sits down.
JULIAN
(nervously)
Amy, I used to be gay... I'm
straight now. It was a phase when I
was in college. This is ridiculous,
how can I still be gay? I'm
marrying you.
AMY
Then why the picture's date says
that this was taken a week ago?
JULIAN
Sweetie, that's the copy date, not
the original date of the data.
Trust me, I pick pictures for a
living.
M.O.S. as Amy and Julian continue to fight.
77.

ZOEY (V.O.)
First plan finished, time for plan
2.
ADAM (V.O.)
Which is?
ZOEY (V.O.)
Make sure you convince Ben to make
Carista sign a prenup regarding the
money. If she’s what we think she
is, she would have a problem
signing it.
TED HEFFER, Ben’s family lawyer sits between Ben and Carista -
explains the terms of the PRENUPTIAL to Carista.
HEFFER
So, this document lets you know
that essentially, if you were to
cheat on Ben, after the wedding
and/or on the course of the
marriage, you will not get half of
Ben's money. Ben only has to pay
alimony, which stated in page 42,
that the amount of the alimony will
be discussed when that time should
come... Do you understand so far?
CARISTA
(glares at Ben)
You're something else, Ben. This is
not just a slap in the face, this
is more like you're pissing right
into my face.
HEFFER
Uh... just so you know, we are
being recorded, so that piss remark
will be taken as an evidence.
BEN
I don't know what you’re so upset
about? I'm signing the same deal.
If I cheat throughout our marriage,
all my money will be in your hands.
CARISTA
This proves that you don't trust
me. I'm not sure you ever love me.
78.

BEN
C, nowadays people do this kinda
thing. Isn't that right, Ted?
HEFFER
Yes, yes, that is correct.
Prenuptial agreement is essential
to a marriage foundation, as the
divorce rate in this country is
more than 63%... May I also
recommend that you take divorce
insurance?
BEN
They do insurance for divorce now?
HEFFER
Yes, very much likely. It's the
trend right now.
(points to the papers)
Ben, if you could sign here and
here.
Ben signs the papers while Carista still eyeballing him. Ben
puts down his pen. Heffer slides the paper to Carista.
Carista crosses her arms. Refuses to sign.
BEN
C, just sign. We'll talk about this
later.
HEFFER
(points to the papers)
Carista, please sign here and here.
CARISTA
You know what, you are just like
your dad. All you two care about in
this world is goddamn money.
BEN
I told you many times, do not
compare me with my dad.
CARISTA
Oh, I'm not comparing, you are your
father.
HEFFER
If you could just sign this--
CARISTA
Hold your horses, little man!
(to Ben)
79.
(MORE)

Just admit it that you don't trust
me.
BEN
Fine, if saying it will get you to
sign the motherfuckin’ papers...
then yes! I don't trust you. You
happy?
Carista signs the papers - chucks the pen - crosses back her
arms - glowers at Ben. Tension begins to creep as Heffer
unbutton his collar due to uneasiness - puts the papers into
his briefcase in an instant - stands up - offers a handshake
to Ben.
HEFFER
That will be all. Nice to see you
again, Ben.
(off his silence)
Okay.
Heffer leaves the office while Ben and Carista still stare at
each other.
INT. LA BERNARDIN - NIGHT
ADAM (V.O.)
We should push them over the edge.
Face to face contact. If they're in
the same room, especially when Amy
and Ben are involved, I’ll bet
Julian and Carista would go
berserker.
ZOEY (V.O.)
We could plan like a dinner...
shower... dinner shower... set them
up in the same restaurant?
HOSTESS greets Adam, Carista and Ben then leads them to their
table. Mid-way, Ben spots Amy, Julian and Zoey on the far
table.
BEN
Macer?
Ben walks up to their table. Amy peers back to see Ben.
AMY
Hey, Ben. Adam.
(shrewdly)
Carista... what are you doing here?
80.
CARISTA (CONT'D)

ADAM
As the best man, I'm obligated to
buy them dinner on one of the best
restaurant in New York... According
to Zagat, anyway. I've never been
here before.
ZOEY
For once you show some decency.
Adam throws the middle finger to Zoey while fake laughing.
BEN
What about you guys?
ZOEY
I'm doing some pre-preparing for
the wedding.
CARISTA
(coldly)
That's great, but I think we should
go to our table now.
ADAM
Hey, why don't we join you guys?
Order some private room? What do
you say?
JULIAN
I don't think that's necessary.
Adam signals the hostess. SWISH. Hostess immediately pops up
behind Adam.
HOSTESS
Mr. Gill, the private quarter is
ready. If you all would follow me.
CARISTA
Oh... great.
Hostess leads the way to the PRIVATE ROOM. The group follow
her. Julian turns to Carista - looking for help. As soon as
they pass the rest room, Amy hauls Carista into the rest
room.
INT. LA BERNARDIN - REST ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Amy shoves Carista. She’s really mad this time.
81.

AMY
I know you sent me those
pictures... I get that you're
jealous of me and Ben being close,
but trying to break me and Julian
up... that's just juvenile. You
better watch it.
CARISTA
Finally got some fangs. Impressive,
but you might want to sink those
brand new teeth on somebody else.
Amy gives Carista a DIRTY LOOK. Leaves the room.
INT. LA BERNARDIN - PRIVATE ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Amy and Carista join the table. Sit down as a WAITER brings
them their MENUS. They all browse through the menus. Beat.
They order.
JULIAN
This Calamary? What's in 'em?
WAITER
It's a sautéed calamari with sweet
prawns and out of this world
shitake mushrooms. Plus, the
Mushroom Froth-Pistou Sauce.
JULIAN
Sounds good, I'll have one of
those.
CARISTA
I think I'm going to have the Crab.
ADAM
(under his breath)
Good luck, I hope you get it.
Ben kicks Adam by the SHIN. Adam GROANS.
AMY
I'll have the Mesclun Salad.
CARISTA
What's wrong, Amy? Feeling bloated
today?
BEN
What? C!
82.

CARISTA
I'm just making observation. It's
obvious that she put on a little
weight.
(stares at Amy)
I'm concerned she won't fit in her
wedding dress.
ZOEY
She's not like you. Not everyone
can put they finger down their
throat and just yak everything they
eat.
(to Waiter)
I’ll have the Red Snapper.
BEN
Okay, what is going on here?
AMY
You're precious Carista sent me
pictures... of Julian kissing some
guy!
BEN
WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHAT?!
(to Carista)
You did that?! I told you not to
meddle!
AMY
Wait, you knew about this?!
Zoey and Adam exchange looks. Their plan starts to turn - the
bad way. Adam tries to explain on Ben’s behalf.
ADAM
Ben feels that it's a talk that you
and Julian should be doing.
CARISTA
You shut up, Adam!
ADAM
No, you shut up, bitch!
BEN
Hey!
WAITER
I could come back later.
PAN to Waiter as he just stand right behind Julian - very
uncomfortable with the IMPENDING RIFT.
83.

BEN
Amy, I thought that was between the
two of you. What right I have to
tell you that Julian might be gay?
JULIAN
Hey, I'm not gay... anymore. It was
a phase.
ZOEY
He said, "Might be gay".
CARISTA
Lookie here, the whore puppet
master finally speaks.
ZOEY
You better shut your mouth or I’m
gonna fuck it, you wench!
CARISTA
(sarcastically)
Ow, I’m scared - the big whore
puppet master is trying to hump my
mouth!
ADAM
This is getting interesting.
ZOEY
Shut the fuck up, Adam!
CARISTA
Shut the fuck up, Adam!
Amy’s veins starts to pop - can’t take it anymore. Like a
ERUPTING VOLCANO, Amy spills the truth about Carista.
AMY
SHE’S CHEATING ON YOU, BEN!
CARISTA’S CHEATING ON YOU!
Ben shocked while Carista gasps. Beat. Carista’s eyes begin
to pop out. Nostril flared.
BEN
What?!
CARISTA
You bitch!
Just like a COUGAR, Carista LEAPS over the table - TACKLES
Amy to the floor. In mere moments, Amy and Carista are
wrestling - pulling each other hairs.
AMY (CONT’D)
(punches her ear)
Take that, you psychopath!
84.

CARISTA
I'm not a psychopath! I'm a
sociopath!
AMY
What’s the difference?!
Julian and Zoey try to pull Amy out of the fight while Ben is
really having a tough time pulling Carista out. PAN to Adam -
standing right in front of the fight - records it with his
cell phone. Waiter stands behind him.
WAITER
Hey, e-mail me that.
ADAM
No need, I'm gonna put this on
Youtube.
WAITER
Cool.
BEN
Adam! Get your ass over here! She's
freakishly strong!
Adam helps Ben out. Pulling Carista out of the duel. Both
women still try get back into the fight. Zoey, Julian, Ben
and Adam hold them back.
AMY
You better watch it, bitch!
CARISTA
Like I never heard that before!
EXT. LA BERNARDIN - CONTINUOUS
MANAGER and BOUNCER escort the group out.
MANAGER
All of you are not permitted in
here anymore!
BOUNCER
And stay out!
MANAGER
(to Bouncer)
Why? I paid you not to talk! You’re
here just to be scary.
85.

BOUNCER
I always wanted to say that, it’s
my dream... You’re emasculating me,
you know that?
Manager and Bouncer continue fighting as they enter the
restaurant. Amy drags Julian and Zoey away. Leaving Ben, Adam
and Carista.
BEN
Amy?
Amy turns around.
AMY
Ben, I'm sorry. I had enough of
her.
While Amy and the rest leave, Ben turns to Carista - yells at
her.
BEN
You're cheating on me?!
CARISTA
You believe her instead of me?!
BEN
I don't know who to trust! You see
why you had to signed that
agreement.
CARISTA
You're going to throw that in my
face?
BEN
You know what? Just leave me alone.
Ben shakes his head - walks away with Adam.
CARISTA
Ben Goodman, you come back here!
Carista follows Ben and Adam - STUMPING.
INT. NEW YORK CITY PUBLIC LIBRARY - DAY
Zoey searches for Adam. Section after section. Finally finds
him in the MEDICAL SECTION. ADAM is reading a HUMAN ANATOMY
BOOK.
86.

ZOEY
Hey, dickweed! Why are we meeting
here?
ADAM
‘Cause they would never find us in
here.
ZOEY
Who are you? Jack Bauer?!
(studies the medical book)
The only impressive thing is that
you're checking the medical
section. At least, there's one good
thing about you.
ADAM
(turns a page)
Yeah. Did you know that a squirt is
very different from pee?
ZOEY
And there he goes.
ADAM
We need another plan.
ZOEY
I don’t know... I’m tired. I wanna
quit.
ADAM
Well, I don't wanna. Ben and
Carista made up last night. She
lured him back with her vagina...
just reeled him in, like a fish. I
always get what I want and right
now, I want Ben and Amy to be
together.
Zoey stares at Adam. Impressed.
ZOEY
Wow. There’s actually one thing
good about you. You’re not a
quitter.
ADAM
And I'm not quitting about fucking
you either.
Zoey maddened right up.
87.

ZOEY
God, could you be normal for once
and not think about sex all the
time?!
A LIBRARIAN comes up to them. Shushes them.
LIBRARIAN
Shush! This is a library!
ZOEY
Well, duh... then why are you
yelling?
LIBRARIAN
Because you were yelling, that's
why I yelled.
ZOEY
Then I'm going to ask you to SHUSH!
Librarian walks away after glaring at Zoey. Zoey replies with
a mocking expression of the Librarian.
ADAM
Bachelor/Bachelorette weekend. We
put them in Atlantic City, put
something something in their drinks
and just let them, you know... be.
ZOEY
What? We don't hire strippers?
Adam puts back book on the SHELF.
ADAM
Of course, we hire some strippers.
We bring a couple of friends, when
the time comes, we just lock them
up. We could play “Seven Minutes of
Heaven.”
ZOEY
What are you? Ten?
ADAM
You played “Seven Minutes of
Heaven” when you were ten? How can
you not be a slut?
Zoey scoffs - walks away. Adam follows her.
88.

ADAM (CONT’D)
I mean, c’mon, I played it when I
was 14...
INT. SUV - DUSK
Adam drives while Ben sits shotgun. In the backseat, sit
PATRICK, recovering degenerate gambler, DANNY, miserable
married man and RAFFERTY, newly transsexual. They watch some
PORN on the PORTABLE DVD PLAYER.
BEN
What are you doing?
ADAM
I thought we're going to A.C.?
BEN
No, inviting these guys?
RAFFERTY
What's that supposed to mean?
BEN
Nothing, Raf. Go enjoy the porn.
(to Adam)
You invited Rafferty? He-- She--
That isn't a dude anymore.
ADAM
God, what a sexist! Just because
she ripped off her dick to become
the perfect lady, doesn't mean she
can't hang out with the boys
anymore.
Ben directs his attention to Patrick now.
BEN
(points Patrick)
Patrick? Really? He’s trying to
quit gambling and we’re taking him
to Atlantic City.
PATRICK
Wow, thanks for the backup, Ben.
DANNY
Ah, don't worry about Pat, I'm
gonna watch him... This is so
great! It's been so long since I
watch porn inside a car with four
other dudes, you know...
89.
(MORE)

instead in the bathroom... with a
box of tissue.
ADAM
How are things at home, Dan?
DANNY
Yeah... not great. Lily's pregnant
again.
BEN
That's great! Congratulations.
Danny leans forward to the front seats.
DANNY
(intense voice)
We already got three. She’s now
pregnant with twins. I already had
a vasectomy! Don't get married,
Ben.
BEN
What?! You love Lily.
DANNY
At first... but then, you have
kids, three diabolical, ruthless,
violent kids.
Danny’s eyes pierce through Ben.
DANNY (CONT’D)
You don't have sex anymore. You
stop talking to each other. You
know what she said about my dick?
Eh... EH! But, hey, you and Carista
won't have that problem.
BEN
Thank yo--
DANNY
DON'T DO IT!
ADAM
Yeah, man. Don't do it.
BEN
What are you talking about? Then,
why are you throwing me a bachelor
party?
90.
DANNY (CONT'D)

ADAM
Buddy boy, this bachelor party...
designed by me, is a way to re-
release you into the wilderness,
that is the single life... I will
make you fuck one of the strippers.
If I have to, I would grab your
penis and thrust it into any vagina
that are available with my bare
hands... Including Rafferty's.
BEN
You're insane... and that's never
gonna happen.
ADAM
Never say never, man. And why are
you still with Carista? She cheated
on you.
BEN
To be honest, I don’t really know.
She just... she’s like a black hole-
-
ADAM
Her vagina or her mouth?
BEN
Both... sucking my every appendage.
She’s like crack, man.
ADAM
Her ass crack?
BEN
No, you idiot. She’s like crack
cocaine... Uh... I don’t know, just
give me something to drink, I don’t
wanna think anymore.
Adam throws a smirk. Hands Ben a BOTTLE of JOHNNY WALKER
BLUE. Then looks to the miserable Ben - cheerfully.
ADAM
Haha! Benny boy, finally embraces
his inner bastard! Drink up, buddy!
Drink up, boys! The party starts
early!
Ben feeds the bottle to the rest.
91.

BEN
Hey, did you say strippers? As in
more than one?
ADAM
Oh yeah, about that. How we doing
there, Grace?
PAN TO the back of the SUV. REVEAL: Grace sitting there -
talking on the phone.
GRACE
I booked three girls and in
negotiation with the fourth.
Ben peers back to Grace. Dumbfounded.
BEN
You brought Grace?!
GRACE
Hi, Ben.
BEN
Hi, Grace. How you doin'?
(to Adam)
Are you crazy?!
ADAM
Dude, Grace is my assi--
BEN
She's our assistant.
ADAM
And as our assistant, I think you
should share.
BEN
Are you boinking her? Are you? You
are, aren't you? Adam, she's a good
assistant. Do you know how hard it
is to find a good assistant?
ADAM
Relax, Grace is here just to assist
me on the bacheloring. And maybe if
she's deep in tequila, she might
become the fifth stripper.
Adam throws a creepy grin. Ben shakes his head. Goes with it.
Smile back. Adam kicks the ACCELERATOR - hard.
92.

INT. CAESAR’S PALACE - PENTHOUSE - NIGHT
Amy, Abby and Zoey walk in, along with their brazen redhead
friend, RACHEL. The three of them are charmed the massive
room, provided by Rachel. Abby who’s carrying a BIG BAG of
BOOZE - drops it right in front of the door.
AMY
Wow, Rachel, how did you pull this
off?
RACHEL
A little of this, a little of that.
ZOEY
You sucked the manager's cock?
RACHEL
Yeah, a little bit.
Amy goes outside - to the BALCONY. Viewing the amazing vista
of Atlantic City.
ZOEY
Okay, gang. We freshen up. Get
down, play some Pai Gow or some
shit and then get busy with the
male strippers I rented.
RACHEL
What, did you lease them?
Abby goes inside the BATHROOM to take a dump, only to find
something wonderful.
ABBY (O.S.)
(from the bathroom)
Guys, they have a bidet!
Amy, Zoey and Rachel snicker.
RACHEL
Abby, are you sure you're not a pre-
historic cro-magnon?
While the others get ready, Rachel takes the bag at the front
of the door when suddenly, the door OPENED. Ben, Adam,
Rafferty, Danny, Patrick and Grace walk in. Surprising
Rachel. Rachel shouts for Zoey.
RACHEL (CONT’D)
Zoe, are these our male strippers?
93.

Zoey, Amy and Abby come out. Amy and Abby stunned to see Ben
and Adam.
RACHEL (CONT’D)
You didn't do a very good job, Zoe.
Look at them, one of them has a
bald patch and a beer gut.
(looks to Rafferty)
Is that a girl or a dude?
Amy looks to the grinning Zoey - then turns to Ben.
AMY
Ben, hey!
Ben glowers at Adam. Adam winks. Both Amy and Ben finally
realize that Adam and Zoey are the culprits.
BEN
(focusing on Adam)
Yeah, hi, Amy.
Amy gives Ben a hug.
DANNY
You know the strippers? We don't
have to tip?
ADAM
Everyone, what you're looking
aren't the strippers. They're just
some friends.
Ben drags Adam by the arm. Amy does the same to Zoey. They
head for the BEDROOM.
AMY
Guys, we're gonna take a lil'
huddle. Why don't you guys get to
know each other? Where’d you come
from? How you’ve been? That kinda
stuff.
INT. CAESAR’S PALACE - PENTHOUSE - BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Amy, Ben, Adam and Zoey enter. Ben closes the door - joins
Amy - confronting Adam and Zoey.
BEN
You guys are unbelievable!
ADAM
Thank you.
94.

BEN
Not a compliment! Sense the tone!
ZOEY
Look, all we did was throw a
bachelor/bachelorette party. What's
the big deal?
AMY
Weren't you there? Last time we
were in the same room, I ended up
on the floor pulling his fiancé's
hair. I got scratches all over my
face.
BEN
(analyzes Amy’s face)
Really, I don’t see it.
AMY
Loreal face cream... totally covers
it up.
BEN
Huh, they have it for men?
AMY
Yeah, yeah, I’ll find it la--
ZOEY
Hello?
BEN
Oh, yeah, right, you...
(realizing)
You guys set up the dinner!
ADAM
How dare you! We would never... not
do that.
Ben wraps his hands around Adam’s neck. Choking him. Amy
pulls Ben away from Adam while Zoey just watches the
strangling - enjoying the sight.
BEN
You asshole! You made me fight with
Carista!
AMY
What you guys did was out of line!
95.

ZOEY
We did what was best for you. Both
of you are in the wrong
relationships. You two should be
together.
ADAM
And don't blame us for that dinner.
You guys did that on your own, we
just gave you the nudge.
Ben tries to lunge toward Adam again, but Amy stops him.
BEN
You... You... You two are demons!
Cold hearted demons!
ADAM
Actually, demons run hot, you know
‘cause all the hell fire.
BEN
Shut up!
Beat.
ADAM
Sizzling hot.
AMY
Who are you to tell us who we
should marry?!
(shakes her head)
I can't be here right now.
Amy heads for the door.
ZOEY
No!
Zoey runs - passes Amy - barricades the door.
ZOEY (CONT’D)
You're right. We're sorry. We have
no rights to dictate your
relationship, but, as your best
friend, can't I be concern for you?
Can’t I worry?
ADAM
Look, Amy, Ben, as your two best
friends, we are telling you the
truth...
96.
(MORE)

You two deserve each other and I
know what we did are relatively bad-
-
BEN
It was bad.
ADAM
Relatively bad! But we did it on
you two best interests.
AMY
By sabotaging our relationship?
ZOEY
You two sabotaged your own
relationship from the get go.
Amy and Ben silenced. They know that Adam and Zoey are right.
BEN
You’re right.
AMY
And that's why is not good for me
and Ben to be in the same room
right now... so, I’m going.
Zoey shoves Amy to the BED. Holds her by the shoulder so she
can’t leave.
ZOEY
You and Ben aren’t going anywhere.
ADAM
We set this party for you, whether
you decide to marry each other or
marry your fiancés, I prefer the
former, we'd really appreciate it
if you guys stay and enjoy the
party.
ZOEY
Yeah, just put all of that behind
for one night and experience fun
for a change, God, you two need
this.
ADAM
If you don't want to see each other
anymore, then just think of this as
a wonderful parting gift.
97.
ADAM (CONT'D)

ZOEY
Yeah, guys, please. For us. And for
you too, I guess.
Adam and Zoey gaze Ben and Amy with BIG PUPPY EYES. VERTICAL
WHITE LINE SPLIT SCREEN begins.
BEN
Fine.
AMY
Okay.
SPLIT SCREEN ends.
MUSIC: BLACK EYED PEAS “IMMA BE” kicks in.
We follow through the night as Adam opens the door for a
GROUP of STRIPPERS - male and female. Igniting the MONTAGE.
-. Abby slips a some BILLS into a male stripper’s G-STRING.
ABBY
Wow, you have a smooth skin.
-. Amy, Ben, Patrick, Zoey, Adam and some strippers play
strip poker. Amy lose - takes off her shoes. They all cheer.
Holler.
-. Danny talks to a STRIPPER COUPLE.
DANNY
So, you two are married?
FEMALE STRIPPER #1
Yeah, family that strips together.
Danny drinks a shot of TEQUILA.
DANNY
What if you have kids?
MALE STRIPPER #2
(shows picture)
We have two. Here.
FEMALE STRIPPER #1
Yeah, Lee Ann, the oldest. She just
loves that pole.
Danny looks to the couple. Stunned.
-. Still playing strip poker. Ben loses - takes off his
pants. He’s wearing a TIGHTY WHITIE. Amy snickers.
98.

BEN
(to Amy)
What? My mom bought this for me.
ZOEY
That is so disturbing, but
incredibly sweet, but still
disturbing.
-. So drunk, Rafferty and Patrick are making out in the TUB.
Rafferty licks Patrick’s cheek.
-. Rachel lies on the COUCH while a MALE STRIPPER does a BODY
SHOT out of her BELLY BUTTON - then they kiss. Rachel then
kisses a FEMALE STRIPPER beside her. The three of them end up
kissing each other.
-. Ben and Amy are really hammered. They’re playing a
SLAPPING GAME in the BEDROOM.
AMY
I'm not joking. If you blink, I
will slap the crap out of you.
BEN
Just like you last wee--
Amy slaps the hell out of Ben. Ben falls out of the bed.
AMY
You blinked.
Amy guffaws. Snorts.
-. Adam searches for some BEER in the FRIDGE. Finds nothing.
He closes it - turns around - only to find Zoey standing in
front of him. Holding a single can of BEER.
ADAM
Wow.
ZOEY
(slurring)
Looking for this.
ADAM
You mean you?
ZOEY
(slurring)
I thought you’d never ask.
99.

Zoey tosses the beer - pushes Adam against the fridge. Kisses
Adam, heavily. Runs her hands through his hair. Their tongues
fight.
-. Still in the bedroom, Ben and Amy stare into each other’s
eyes. CLOSE ON their eyes. Beat. Ben blows into Amy’s eyes.
She blinks. Ben slaps her.
AMY
(clutching cheek)
You cheated.
They move closer - KISS - passionately.
-. Grace finishes making a DRINK. Hands it to Abby. Abby
takes a SIP to emptying the glass.
GRACE
Good, eh?
ABBY
Shit, that’s good. What's in it?
GRACE
I don't know. I put a bunch of
stuff.
Grace aims to many bottles of alcohol.
GRACE (CONT’D)
I'm pretty sure it had absinthe in
it.
Abby drops to the floor. Passed out. And with that the
MONTAGE ends.
We track as the room is a MESS. Everyone passed out on the
floor - the table - the kitchen - everywhere. Zoey and Adam
are making out on the couch. We go to...
INT. CAESAR’S PALACE - PENTHOUSE - BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Ben and Amy are under the SHEET. CLOTHES OFF. Kissing.
AMY
Oh, Jesus.
Ben kisses Amy’s neck, but Ben stops once he gazes upon Amy
who’s staring at him with such admiration.
100.

BEN
What?
AMY
(gradually smiling)
Wha-- I just... hi.
Ben and Amy smile at each other - continue kissing. They dive
under the sheet.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. CAESAR’S PALACE - PENTHOUSE - MORNING
Zoey wakes up with an ARM on her face. She traces the arm to
find Adam spooning her. Zoey jumps out - SCREAMS.
ZOEY
What the fuck?!
Adam startles to awake. Holds his temple. Groans.
ADAM
Can you not scream?
PULL OUT to see Adam and Zoey covered in WHITE SHEET. Zoey
takes her clothes - puts them on.
ZOEY
You drugged me!
ADAM
Hey, you're the one who kissed me
first.
ZOEY
This... Hey! Look at me. This never
happen.
ADAM
Can’t do that, sugar tits.
Adam grabs his cell phone. Presses “PLAY”. CLOSE ON the
screen REVEALING a recording of them - having SEX.
ADAM (CONT’D)
I told you, I’m gonna fuck you.
ZOEY
You motherfucker!
Zoey leaps on Adam. Tries to snag the cell phone.
101.

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