Volume 4 • Issue 5 November/December 2011

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4 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com 5
features
18 The Breast Cancer Revolution:
Giving Hope with the Rise of
Technology
• By Deborah Myers
20 The Non-Intimidating
Divorce: Is It Possible?
Our Experts Say Yes!
• By Jackie Pantaliano
22 Marlo Thomas: From That
Adorable Girl to That
Amazing Woman
• By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
26 Interpreting Your Dreams The
5 Most Common Recurring
Dreams: What They Mean
and the Lessons They Teach Us
• By Lauri Quinn Loewenberg
30 8 Steps to a Less-Stress
Holiday Season
• By Theresa Wright, Ph.D.
32 Pain-Free, Radiation-Free
Dentistry: New Developments
in Dental Technology
• By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
CONTENTS
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE
volume 4 • issue 5 • November/December 2011
OnThe Cover
Our cover model is “That Girl” herself, Marlo Thomas! Catch her performance in
Relatively Speaking on Broadway at the Brooks Atkinson Theater
(www.relativelyspeakingbroadway.com), visit her website at www.marlothomas.com,
purchase her book, “Growing Up Laughing” at www.marlothomas.aol.com/2010/
08/27/growing-up-laughing and read all about her on page 22 of this issue
of Girlfriendz!
This issue’s “retro item” is a photo from That Girl, circa 1966, from the private collection
of Marlo Thomas.
Our cover shot was taken by Steve Brown of Looking Glass Photography, creating imagery
with clarity and imagination. Call Steve for weddings, portraits (engagement, children, young
adults and families) and commercial work (magazines, ad layouts, product and head shots)
at 267-987-0455. www.lookingglass-photo.com
Our photo shoot took place at the home of Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue.
departments
15 • Two Girlfriendz on a Journey
Destination – a healthy lifestyle!
16 • On the Nightstand
17 • Enterprising Girlfriendz:
Penina Gould
31 • New Contest! Girlfriendz-Skewers
Dinner Party Contest
31 • Contest Winners: Girlfriendz-Jan’s
Shopping Spree Contest
in every issue
8 • From the Editor
10 • GirlfriendzTalk: Letters to the Editor
12 • Hot Stuff
14 • Tech.Know
by Howard Yermish
28 • Boomer Humor
35 • Girlfriendz Events & Appearances
36 • Among Friendz
by Patricia Quigley
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Publisher
Diane Druss
diane@girlfriendzmag.com
Founder & Editor-in-Chief
Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
tobi@girlfriendzmag.com
Art Director
Daniel Trost
Internet Marketing Director
Howard Yermish
Legal Director
Leonard T. Schwartz, Esq.
Senior Copy Editor
Jeanne R. Smith
Girlfriendz Sales
Claudia Farrace, Account Executive
856-630-7451
claudia@girlfriendzmag.com
Administrative Assistant
Molly Lou Conrad
Contributing Writers
Lisa Alberta
Rozanne Gelbinovich
Deborah Myers
Lauri Quinn Loewenberg
Jackie Pantaliano
Patricia Quigley
Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
Roz Warren
Theresa Wright, Ph.D.
Howard Yermish
Photography
Steve Brown,
Looking Glass Photography
www.girlfriendzmag.com
www.facebook.com/girlfriendz
Girlfriendz Magazine
6 Brookville Drive, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003
Phone: 856.751.2997
Subscription Rates:
1 year subscription: $15.95
2 year subscription: $29.99
To purchase, please send a check
made payable to:
The Word Source, LLC
6 Brookville Drive, Cherry Hill, NJ 08003
To pay via credit card, go to:
www.girlfriendzmag.com.
Girlfriendz: The Thinking Woman’s Magazine is published
bi-monthly by The Word Source, LLC and is the copyrighted
property of The Word Source, LLC. Content may not be
reproduced or reprinted, in whole or in part, by any other
party without expressed written prior consent of Girlfriendz:
The Thinking Woman’s Magazine.
Route 73 at Sagemore • Marlton, NJ • 856-985-3846 • www.thepromenadenj.com
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FROM THE EDITOR
I am here to tell you that dreams can come true. Even the ones you think are impossible. I dreamt of creating a magazine that
would help and inform women, and voila!You are reading Girlfriendz Magazine! I dreamt of one day having a loving husband
and family, and zing! I am lucky enough that it came true. I dreamt that one day I’d meet MarloThomas…and you guessed it!
Nobody is more shocked, surprised and thrilled than I, that I not only had the opportunity to interview her, but also to be invited
into her home! I still can’t think of that day without smiling.
Usually, I’m the one who does the interviewing. But after that incredible day in August, I find that everyone is asking me the
questions! Here are my answers:
Q: What is MarloThomas really like?
A: Just as nice and down to earth as Ann Marie.
Q: Does she still have that cool voice?
A:Yes, just a bit more mature.
Q: Did you meet Phil Donahue?
A: No…to the great disappointment of Diane Druss and
Claudia Farrace (Girlfriendz publisher and account executive).
But our photographer, Steve Brown, did! He even got to shake his hand.
Q: What was her apartment like?
A:TheThomas-Donahues live in a penthouse in Manhattan that overlooks Central Park. It is spacious and homey
and beautiful.There’s a definite Asian influence, with pieces from all their travels, all throughout the great room,
which is divided into three segments. At the front is an off-white sectional sofa, lined with pillows and facing the
park. Floor-to-ceiling windows wrap around to the dining room. Behind the sofa is a sitting area and behind that is
the library.That’s what’s on our cover. Ms.Thomas is seated in front of the library, which is where she does “Mondays With Marlo,” her interview segment on her new website. Find out
more about that and lots more on page 22.
What makes this house a home, at least in my opinion, is the dining room, at which I only took a quick peek.There is no formal dining room set. Instead, there are two parallel tables
with pretty print tablecloths and casual chairs.You get the feeling that a lot of entertaining goes on in that room—just like how Marlo describes theThomas dining room in the house
on Elm where she grew up. And you can read all about that in her new book, “MarloThomas: Growing Up Laughing: My Story and the Story of Funny.”
So now that my dreams have all come true, what will I do? I guess I’ll have to go to sleep tonight and see what else I have to look forward to.
(continued on page 29)
Tobi Schwartz-Cassell, Editor-in-Chief
Tobi@girlfriendzmag.com
The day we met Marlo! (R to L): Me, Marlo, Diane and Claudia.
PS: Did you ever wonder what your dreams mean? Dream expert Lauri Quinn Loewenberg interprets some of the most popular ones on page 26.
With special thanks to Maria Micolucci
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Finances First!
Financial First Aid for Aging Loved Ones by
Maria Micolucci (Volume 4, Issue 3)
I love your magazine and all the interesting
articles in it. The article on financial planning
and aging parents caught my attention. Very
interesting, and “food for thought.” Keep up
the good work.
Natalie Fox, Cherry Hill
Keep Your Friends Close…
The Company You Keep: Are You Being
Polluted by Toxic Friends? by Theresa Wright,
PhD (Volume 4, Issue 4)
Your recent article “The Company You Keep”
was very, very interesting. A lot of what was
said was true and real. I have experienced
such friendships in the past and have found
that my faith in God has answered all my
questions. Your article has given me another
perspective and more insight. I appreciate
and respect your views. Good job.
Diane F., Philadelphia
I look forward to every issue of Girlfriendz
that lands in my mailbox. I always take
some “quiet time” to make sure I can read
it from cover to cover. Theresa Wright’s
articles are my favorites. She is so insightful
and helpful. Women today have so many
issues to deal with (so many more than our
moms had). Theresa’s topics are relevant
and get right to the core of the problems
we face and the solutions that are needed. I
love this magazine and the entire staff does
a great job!
Gina Marchwinski, Mt. Laurel
Burnout: This Describes Us
Burnt to a Crisp? Coming Back to Life After
Burnout by Jackie Pantaliano (Volume 4,
Issue 4)
I read with great enthusiasm the article on
burnout. As a Certified Health Coach, the
article appealed to me because I know
there are so many issues today affecting
everyone’s health and well being. My
deepest thanks and appreciation for putting
into words what so many need to hear.
Carol Roman, Mt. Laurel
When Body and Mind Must be
in Synch
The Skinny on Bariatric Surgery by Deborah
Myers (Volume 4, Issue 4)
I always read your magazine as soon as it
arrives in my mailbox. The article about
bariatric surgery was right on. I am almost
18 months out and after following all the
blogs and forums for a year prior to surgery,
I was still ill prepared for the outcome. At
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This One Really Struck a Chord with
Our Readers!
From the Editor: I Got the Music in Me by
Tobi Schwartz-Cassell (Volume 4, Issue 4)
I loved the issue this month, especially the
picture of you, Ruth, Jay and Dan from
the 70s. It was like walking down memory
lane, as I knew you all from our youth
group and high school. My maiden name
was Applebaum. I’ll bet none of you have
aged. Thanks for putting a smile on my face.
Looking forward to the next issue as I look
forward to all of them.
Bonnie Gewurtz, via email
I really enjoy Girlfriendz. For middle
aged women like me, it contains the right
information and guidance for us. The best
article in this issue is “I Got the Music in
Me.” It reminded me of when I was that
age. Although I was in my country of Korea,
we also enjoyed western pop music. I get
kind of nervous whenever I write in English
because I can’t express the way I feel and am
afraid of making a mistake.
Thank You,
Kui Lee, Voorhees
Editor’s Note: Kui Lee, I think you write
English and express yourself beautifully and
was so happy to get your note. I also enjoyed
meeting you at our event at Penina’s!
Too Many to Choose From
Access Denied: Grandparents’ Rights by
Shari B. Veisblatt, Esq.; Making LinkedIn
Work for You by Howard Yermish; Burnout
by Jackie Pantaliano; Watch Out! Librarians!
by Janet Golden & Roz Warren (Volume 4,
Issue 4)
This has got to be my favorite issue. Talk
about the “Thinking Woman’s Magazine!”
It’s given me a lot to think about. Everything
from Howard Yermish’s article on Making
Linked In Work Better For You to Burnt to
A Crisp to Watch Out, Librarians!, my list
goes on and on! Unfortunately, the article I
most related to was Access Denied: What are
Your Rights as a Grandparent? I know first-
hand that being a grandparent is somewhat
like being an adoptive parent. A biological
parent can do whatever they want to their
child and the court will strive to return the
child to the biological parent. An adoptive
parent, like a grandparent, has to undergo
all sorts of scrutiny to make sure they are fit.
You and your staff work so hard to keep this
magazine different from the everyday dribble
that is out there. I have passed it on and
shared info about it on Facebook.
Lois Urkowitz via the Girlfriendz
Facebook page
We love to hear from our !
Send your comments to:Tobi@girlfriendzmag.com.
GIRLFRIENDZ TALK
We’re All Sisters,And We Have to
Stick Together
The articles about being displaced from the
workforce in mid-life are very interesting to
me. I was laid off in March 2009 from my
job of 25 years and am still searching for
meaningful employment. Age discrimination is
alive and well in Burlington County and I have
encountered it on several occasions. I also like
reading about anything spiritual and/or things
about pampering ourselves, so I clipped the
ad for Bernard’s Salon for a free haircut to new
customers and I have an appointment tomorrow!
Alice L. Jones, Mt. Laurel
I like the fact that you support woman out of
work and have networking events. I forward
the emails I get from you to a friend who has
been struggling to find another job. (It has been
a year.) She really tries but gets to the third or
fourth interview and does not get hired. She is
qualified to do the job (event planner) but feels
like her age is the issue. Even though employers
are not allowed to discriminate, we all know
that it goes on. She cannot afford to pay for the
magazine but gets valuable information from
your emails.
Thanks for creating such a wonderful magazine,
Cindy Geary, Medford Lakes
Editor’s Note: We were happy to give Alice and
Cindy’s friend complimentary subscriptions to
Girlfriendz Magazine, and we wish them and all
of our out-of-work sisters the very best of luck in
finding new jobs.
Our Contest Winners are
Always Happy!
The Girlfriendz-Wedgwood B&B Contest
(Volume 4, Issue 4)
Editor’s Note: Phyllis won the First Prize in our
contest—a girlfriendz night of comedy at the Ritz
Theatre Company and drinks with the cast after
the show!
I wanted to tell you what a terrific time my
friends and I had at the Ritz Theatre. The show
“Moon over Buffalo” was so funny that we
laughed ‘til our sides split. Also, Bruce and
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By Rozanne Gelbinovich

14 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
T
he leaves are changing and I’ve enjoyed several hundred
of my wife’s amazing banana muffins. That means the
holiday season is upon us, and people will soon start
asking me for recommendations for technology gifts. (If
only they were for me!)
As far as my top pick for camera: the best camera is the one you
have with you. If you want something that takes better pictures than
your camera phone, the Canon PowerShot ELPH 300 HS (around
$200) is an excellent choice. Canon has completely updated the
ELPH series this year,
setting it back in front of the
competition. This camera
features a 12-megapixel
sensor with a 24-120mm
optical zoom lens, face
detection and 1080p video
recording.
www.usa.canon.com/cusa/consumer/products/cameras/digital_
cameras/powershot_elph_300_hs
Many of us spend considerable time in front of a computer screen.
To combat eye fatigue, take a look at Gunnar Computer Glasses,
available in a variety of styles as well as prescription. Gunnars
help filter out the glare and
reduce eye strain. Styles are
available from $79 to $189.
www.gunnars.com
For those who enjoy mixing cutting-edge with retro-chic, look no
further than the Etch-a-Sketch iPad Case ($40). There is even an
official Etch-a-Sketch iPad app
($2.99) available to complete
the look.
www.thinkgeek.com/computing/
accessories/e6e2
http://itunes.apple.com/us/
app/etch-a-sketch-hd-for-ipad/
id397537481?mt=8
Flash drives are a popular stocking stuffer and they now
come in all shapes and sizes. My favorite is the Lego
Minifig USB Flash Drive ($25) that gives you 2GB of
storage tucked inside a small Lego person. Just remove his
pants to “expose” the USB key.
www.thinkgeek.com/computing/thumb-drives-storage/e79e
My next recommendation isn’t as much a recommendation as
permission: Yes, an Apple iPad is a great gift, either for yourself or
for a loved one. Personally, I have an iPad with Verizon 3G data
service that I take almost everywhere. Data plans for the iPad are
month-to-month, so you can purchase an iPad with the included
3G cellular data option and not activate the service until you need
it for travelling. The iPad comes in three models based on storage
capacity: 16GB at $499, 32GB at $599 and
64GB at $699. The 3G data option adds
$130 to the cost of the iPad over the WiFi
versions, but you aren’t locked into a 2-year
contract. If you are confused about which iPad
is appropriate, spend some time at your local
Apple store and ask the kids in the blue shirts
for help.
If you aren’t a fan of Apple, take a look at the Samsung Galaxy Tab
10.1 4G/LTE on Verizon. For around the same price as the iPad, you
get an Android-based tablet, running
the latest Honeycomb tablet operating
system (OS), and you get the benefit
of Verizon’s faster 4G/LTE network
speeds, something that the iPad cannot
yet (as of this writing) boast. The
Galaxy Tab on Verizon does require a
2-year contract, but once you have a
tablet with Internet access everywhere you go, you probably won’t
turn off the data plan ever.
www.samsung.com/us/mobile/galaxy-tab/SCH-I905UKAVZW
For less than half the cost of an iPad is the
Barnes & Noble Nook Color tablet ($250) and
the newly announced Amazon Kindle Fire
($200). Both run a custom version of Android
and give you access to a huge library of book
titles, magazines and newspapers. You also have
some of the popular applications, a good email
program, and built-in WiFi. Both Amazon and
Barnes & Noble have a variety of lower priced
dedicated book readers with E-Ink displays,
including the $99 Amazon Kindle Touch.
www.barnesandnoble.com/nookcolor
www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0051VVOB2
Happy holidays and happy shopping! Be sure to check the
Girlfriendz website and Facebook page throughout the holiday
season for more Tech.Know gadget recommendations.
www.girlfriendzmag.com & www.facebook.com/girlfriendz
Howard Yermish brings a level of enthusiasm and
understanding to the geeky world of technology,
presenting topics in a way that engages the audience
by making it relevant, rather than just “gee wiz isn’t this
cool.” Professionally, Howard works with small and
medium enterprises on their Internet strategies, online
marketing, user experience design, website usability,
information architecture, application specification and
application design.
TECH.KNOW
Howard’s Holiday Gift Gu de
By Howard Yermish
S
o how many of you took us up on
our challenge? Are you taking steps
toward a healthy lifestyle? Asking for
help instead of taking on the world
by yourself? If you have—good for you!
We’re proud of you! But what about those of
you who weren’t able to make those changes?
How are you feeling? Pretty discouraged, I
bet.What happens when you finally make a
commitment to change your life and then life
itself gets in the way? Life can be like a game
of dodge ball—stuff comes flying at you in
all directions. Some things you can dodge;
others you can’t.
That’s exactly what happened to Diane
Druss, publisher of Girlfriendz Magazine.
Diane started off on her journey to a better
lifestyle quite well. She was working out
again, playing racquetball, taking yoga
classes and even keeping a food journal—
which was extremely painstaking!With all
of these positive changes in her life, Diane
expected to be feeling better and having
more energy, but it was quite the opposite.
So, she immediately called her doctor and the
waiting game began.
The results came back. Disguised as a tumor
on her ovary, this obstacle was one that
Diane couldn’t dodge and she was forced to
have a hysterectomy.With a history of pre-
cancerous cells, there were no other options.
Now, Diane is at home, recovering from her
surgery, taking it one day at a time. Diane’s
journey has not exactly started out the way
she imagined, but a journey is still a journey
and her destination is still a healthy lifestyle.
And what a better way to start off than
CANCER-FREE?!
When Life Gets in theWay,
Take the Scenic Route
Diane
Two
Girlfriendzon a
JourneyBy Lisa Alberta
Claudia
“as my thigh was being measured, I realized it was
the same size as my waist in high school,”
Diane Druss, Publisher of Girlfriendz Magazine.
I always feel like a burden - I don’t like to bother any one. So, I’ve always
tried to lose weight on my own. But this is the first day of the rest of my life.
I am doing this. I’m not messing around.
Your family Health Club www.chhrc.com 856.429.1388
Workout with Diane for FREE! Go to www.chhrc.com/girlfriendz
It’s timeto put
yourself
at
theTOPof your to do list.
We can
do this!
I want
some cheese
cake!

Please Look After Mom by South Korean
writer Kyung-soo Shin. Told from the
viewpoint of several characters, this story of a
missing mom, will make you think about your
special family relationships in new ways and
face some uncomfortable realizations most of
us would rather ignore.
Jeanne Smith, Girlfriendz Senior Copyeditor
Lifehacker—The Guide to Working Smarter,
Faster and Better by Adam Pash and Gina
Trapani. If you use a computer 25 hours per
week or more for work or play, this updated
edition looks at issues surrounding email,
reducing computer distractions and mobile
computing. It helps on both micro and macro
levels, addressing very specific productivity
techniques as well as a philosophical
approach to computing.Yes, it is a little bit
geeky, but then my nightstand is actually the
Kindle application for my iPad. ;-)
Howard Yermish, Girlfriendz Internet
Marketing Director and Tech.Know
Columnist
BraceYourself by Jan Eliot. The ninth
collection of Eliot’s popular syndicated
cartoon strip “Stone Soup.” SistersVal (a
widow) and Joan (a remarried divorcee) live
next door to each other, along with their
kids, their mom, an adopted nephew and
Joan’s “nice guy” second husband. Eliot’s
take on this “blended, extended family” is
always smart and funny. Story lines include
Val’s romance with a cute motorcycle cop,
Joan’s surprise pregnancy and Gramma’s new
boyfriend, who happens to be 15 years her
junior. An ideal night table book—read a few
pages and you’ll go to sleep smiling.
Rosalind Warren, Girlfriendz Writer
Harry the K: The Remarkable Life of Harry
Kalas by Randy Miller. Harry Kalas was the
most beloved sports figure in the Philadelphia
area, bar none. This book is not just a tribute
to a man many felt they knew, but a full color
portrait, warts and all.You come away with
a greater appreciation of the man and why
he meant so much to Philadelphia sports
fans. This is not a biography for sports fans
only. Like Harry, it is for everyone. As I read
the book, I could not help but remember all
the time I spent with my parents listening to
the Phillies’ games. My feelings were echoed
throughout the book by everyone who came
in contact with him. He was a person who
gave of himself. This is a book I will probably
read again. Harry may be “Outta Here!” but
his memory will live on.
Dan Trost, Girlfriendz Art Director
Messages - Signs,Visits, and Premonitions
from Loved Ones Lost on 9/11 by Bonnie
McEneaney. A chilling yet comforting account
of the experiences and haunting memories
of the loved ones left behind after the events
of September 11, 2001. When McEneaney
lost her husband that day, she thought he was
gone forever. But as the years passed, she
realized he was still very much with her. After
reaching out to others who had lost loved
ones that day, she discovered that many had
their own experiences that convinced them
that, not only did their loved ones sense in the
months beforehand that something terrible
was going to happen, but they still had the
ability to show their love of their families, and
continued to watch over them. On this ten
year anniversary of the attacks, McEneaney
teaches us about the bonds of love—
unbreakable even through great tragedy.
Maria Micolucci, Girlfriendz Writer
Redwood to Deadwood: Hitchhiking America
Today by Colin Flaherty. My book club
recently read this, though it’s not the kind
of thing we usually read. It has an unusual
combination of humor, pathos and adventure
that the author experienced during his recent
three-month trip hitchhiking across the
country. Hitchhiking? Who the heck does
that anymore? The guy was 53-years old, for
heaven’s sake. The book is half Kerouac, half
Dave Barry, and half whoever your favorite
‘moving’ author is. That’s too many halves,
isn’t it? Oh well. It was one of the most
unusual and satisfying books our club has
ever read. We liked it. Maybe you will, too.
Janet Jay, Girlfriendz Reader
Composed: A Memoir by Rosanne Cash.
Written by the critically acclaimed
songwriter and daughter of the man in
black, Johnny Cash, her memoir provides a
glimpse into her life that’s heartfelt, honest,
compassionate and engaging. “Walk the
Line” is the Hollywood version of the Cash
family story. This book is the real story.
Rosanne provides a compelling account
of how her father helped shape her life
as a singer/songwriter, plus details of her
early education in the music business,
the women with whom she connected
along the way, the process of songwriting,
maintaining balance between career and
family (she’s got 5 children—who knew?),
and her marriage to Grammy Award-
winning producer and musician John
Leventhal. If you’re a fan of her music or
have only heard one or two tracks, you’ll
enjoy kicking back with Composed.
Marilyn Russell, BEN-FM Morning Show
Host and Girlfriendz Aug/Sept 2011
Cover Model
ONTHE NIGHTSTAND
Book Reviews
by Girlfriendz Staff and Readers
A
t a time when most women didn’t even dream
of going to college, Penina Gould, founder and
owner of Fashions by Penina in Marlton was a
groundbreaker. Turning from education in the 50s
to fashion in the 80s, her purpose wasn’t just to make a
living, but to help women on their journey.
Q:Where did you go to college?
A:I attended Temple University as an Elementary Ed
major and graduated from Gratz Hebrew Teacher’s
College while working for a rare book dealer and Opalite,
a company that made opal jewelry. Later, I taught Hebrew
school in Camden and Cinnaminson (1951-1979) while
working part-time at various jobs, including assistant to the
Consul General of Israel.
Q:How and why did you get into women’s fashion?
A:In 1980, I took a leave of absence from teaching and
decided to try retail. I was interested in helping women feel positive about themselves by
offering fashions to build their self-esteem and confidence.
My daughter Cheryl was between jobs and came to assist me and decided to stay! Cheryl
now owns and operates the store, and is responsible for the joys and headaches of being an
entrepreneur. We do the purchasing together (including traveling to Europe) and I am still very
much in love with the business and work Saturdays and fill-ins.
Q:What makes Penina’s different from your competitors?
A:We have no competition! We are the best at what we do and win awards for best
selection, best customer service and very comfortable pricing. We work very hard at
finding fashions that no other shops carry and our motto has always been “we don’t ignore you
or overwhelm you.”
Q:What is the most rewarding aspect of owning and operating Penina’s?
A:We have fun! And we rejoice with our clients as they make their purchases for
happy occasions.
Q:Is there anything you’d like to add?
A:I am very grateful that I have been privileged to enjoy two careers, have three fabulous
children, five fantastic grandchildren and now have the luxury of volunteering. I take adult
education classes and help in my small way to make a difference—Tikkun Olam! (A Hebrew
phrase meaning “repairing the world.”)
Fashions by Penina is located at 11 E. Main St., Marlton. 856-596-1610, www.fashionsbypenina.com.
Penina Gould
Enterprising Girlfriendz
Come visit and get the perfect holiday gift and
recieve a 15% discount.
my Girlriends Boutique
Village ofTaunton Forge • 200Tuckerton Road • Medford, NJ 08055
856 985-6262
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I
f you’re familiar with pop icon Sheryl Crow’s
personal bout with breast cancer, you know
that this universal ailment and number two
cause of death among women has made
radical improvements in the field of diagnostics
and treatments in contrast to a brief ten, even
five years ago. Crow’s establishment of “Pink
Lotus,” a center encompassing nutritional
education and all the latest in minimally
invasive breast screening, and her New York
Times best-selling cookbook “If It Makes You
Healthy,” promote the nationally advocated
premise that early detection and preventive
action are essential to diminishing the power of
this female fatality.
Dr. Arnold Baskies, president of the American
Cancer Society Eastern Division, New Jersey
and New York, makes the optimistic statement
that cancer rates can continue to decline due
to progressing methods in treatment and how
those treatments are assigned to each individual
patient. “There is ample evidence that the death
rate associated with breast cancer will decline
by 50% by 2015. The advances in genetic
typing of breast cancers and identification
tools for understanding the genetic signature
of the cancer has already altered the course
of treatments since they are now able to be
personalized to the individual.
“We can look forward to these personalized
treatment options that minimize side effects
and target the cancer directly.This is something
that was only a dream a decade ago, but is
now a daily reality for the 200,000 American
women each year who are diagnosed with
breast cancer,” Dr. Baskies encourages.
One South Jersey power couple, Philip Getson,
D.O. and Liesha Getson, head Thermographic
Diagnostic Imaging of Marlton, a center that
offers not only a route to early detection in
cancer, but a holistic approach as well. With
an infrared camera, one side of the body is
comparedtotheother,detectingabnormalities
in vascular patterns. “In breast disease,
thermography will pre-date detection by
7-10 years before a lesion the size of a pencil
eraser can be found on a mammogram,” states
Dr.Getson. Thermography offers a completely
non-invasive method of testing that can be
performed as early as age 20 without any
unpleasant side effects. “It’s a physiological
test versus anatomical,” informs Liesha
Getson, Thermography Technician. “We are
looking at how the body is working without
using compression or radiation. It allows
women to be proactive with their health at
any point in their lives, without presenting
any risk to the body.”
The primary urgency in detecting irregular
vascular patterns is making lifestyle changes
dedicated to overall wellness. “Let’s take for
example a woman who starts to see a change
in a thermographic test at the age of 30. She
shifts to a more beneficial lifestyle of healthy
living and the early detection of a tumor
does not progress. This is the entire concept,”
explains Dr. Getson, as his wife Liesha urges,
“Avoid processed foods and eat naturally and
organically. The most important foods to buy
organic are meat and dairy. All of the injected
hormones, antibiotics and pesticides have a
harmful, estrogenic effect that can increase
your risk for breast cancer.”
Although the Getsons emphasize the
importance of physical health, another
factor not to be ignored is that of mental
and emotional wellness, as Liesha Getson
enlightens. “When it comes to becoming
proactive in personal health and lifestyle,
preventatively and medicinally, your head has
to be in the game. Not only is physical health
highly beneficial, but emotional health plays
an irreplaceable role as well. Stress reduction
and whatever that requires of you personally,
whether it’s meditation or counseling, plays a
big part in your chances of developing cancer.”
Other advances are being made in terms of less
invasive preventive procedures. For instance,
digital mammography is on the rise, supplying
what is often described as the digital camera
version of the mammogram. “It is the next
step in the evolution of mammography,” states
Dr. Kathleen Greatrex, prominent radiologist
at Lourdes Health System. “The image is
acquired as an electronic signal and we have
immediate availability to that image. The
radiation dose is decreased, along with the
amount of time necessary to take that dose,”
Dr. Greatrex explains. Excellent candidates for
the digital mammogram are women under the
age of 50 and those with dense breast tissue,
as it has proven to be 14-27% more sensitive
in such cases.
As research continues to perfect the digital
mammogram, the breast MRI is also an option
for women who are genetically predisposed
to breast cancer. As Dr. Greatrex reports, “The
breastMRIisanon-invasive,non-radiationform
of testing that provides a 3-dimensional image
of the breast. It can sometimes detect masses
when the mammogram has given negative
results. It’s a wonderful option for women who
are at high genetic risk and a tool for those who
have voiced feeling abnormalities in the breast
when other testing has been negative.”
When the results of an MRI and mammogram
present suspicion, the next step in testing is
biopsy, specifically, core breast biopsy. “The
core breast biopsy procedure is minimally
invasive and uses the results of digital
mammography, MRI or ultrasound to target
the area in which to use a needle and suction
device to extract a small amount of tissue from
a tumor. There is a local anesthetic applied to
the skin. Women who undergo this test can
return to work the very same day and receive
their results as quickly as 24 hours following
the procedure,” Dr. Greatrex informs.
The significance that lies in regular testing
is invaluable, and Dr. Greatrex passionately
promotes its importance, “The very most
important thing is preventative screening, and
for those who are ages 20-49, undergoing
clinical breast exams by a good general
physician or preferably, your gynecologist.
The only way you are going to beat it, is by
diagnosing it as early as possible. The concept
is this: We need to get to it and diminish it,
while we can still survive it!”
The Breast Cancer
Revolution:
Giving Hope with the Rise
of Technology
By Deborah Myers
While diagnostic enhancements continue to
rise, Cancer Treatment Centers of America
have been making astounding contributions to
advancements in treatments available to those
suffering with breast cancer. Dr. Curt Heese,
Eastern Regional CTCA radiation oncologist,
advocates one of the latest treatments to hit
the market: deep tissue hyperthermia. While
deep tissue hyperthermia targets tumors related
to ovarian and cervical cancers, superficial
hyperthermia, used in patients suffering with
breast cancer, upholds the same general theory.
“Essentially, heat is localized over the targeted
tumors. It does not burn and has very little side
effects,” explains Dr. Heese. Why heat? Here’s
how Dr. Heese simplifies the concept: “When
tumors become large enough to see, they have
very little blood flow and oxygen running
through them and become very resistant to
radiation and chemotherapy. With the heating
treatment of hyperthermia, blood flow is
increased and therefore, the radiation becomes
much more effective.”
Superficial hyperthermia is FDA approved and
while groundbreaking, has been present in
Europe since the 1980s, producing excellent
responses. Although a cutting-edge procedure
in the US, Dr. Heese maintains that treatment
should be conceived collectively, as no
one form holds all the answers, “The real
advancement in treatments is not only in
chemotherapy, hyperthermia and nutrition, but
the integration thereof. When an individual is
treated aggressively for a tumor and puts each
method to use, the results will be significantly
more optimistic. Because of the growing
technology in treatments such as hyperthermia,
patients are now not only able to survive and
thrive before and after, but during the whole of
the process as well.”
Director of Radiation Oncology at the
Cancer Treatment Centers of America in
Philadelphia, Pablo Lavignini, MD, represents
the revolutionary Novac7 founded in Italy in
1999. The Novac7 novel tool in IntraOperative
Radiation Therapy (IORT), functions as a
linear accelerator that can produce the same
amount of radiotherapy used in past procedural
methods, but can now be brought into the
operating room and completed within two
minutes flat.
IORT, the concept of distributing radiation at
the same time of surgery, has existed for close
to 100 years; however the treatment is now
significantly safer and convenient due to the
integration of the Novac7. “When IORT was
attempted in the past, it was an enormous
ordeal and essentially an entire day’s task. The
patient was operated on, transferred to another
floor for the radiation, then brought back, all
while under anesthesia, putting the patient
at risk for infection,” explains Dr. Lavignini.
Contemporary IORT is ideal for those who
are presented with various problems when
having to participate in an elongated process
of radiation. As Dr. Lavignini states, “Many
women cannot afford radiation or do not live
close to a facility that performs it. In the case of
IORT, once a patient travels for the surgery, she
can receive radiotherapy simultaneously.”
Not only is the process of radiation now
something that can be done in two minutes
upon the surgical removal of a tumor, the ability
to specifically detect and target lesions has
made surgical results amply more aesthetically
satisfying, as opposed to the limited option of
undergoing a total mastectomy. Dr. Lavignini
clarifies the cosmetic concept of partial breast
removal,usingtheexampleofaround,divisible
pizza, “Let’s say the surgeon removes one slice
out of eight, and then repairs and replaces the
remainder of the pizza. We may have a slightly
smaller pizza, but it is still a complete and
rounded breast.
“And due to the improvements in technology
and treatment, instead of dying of cancer, we
are now living with cancer,” Dr. Lavignini
states. “Many current chronic diseases of the
aging have no known cure, but cancer can be
cured. This is something that individuals, even
physicians, often do not realize: cancer is the
most curable chronic disease.”
And as Dr. Philip Getson fervently counsels,
“It really is about living the right life. It’s like
Dorothy and the yellow brick road. The
munchkins may have led her to the road, but
it was up to her to follow it. In that same way,
to provide yourself with the best chances of
avoiding illness, you have to be proactive in
your lifestyle.”
So, march on Dorothy, and follow your yellow
brick road.
Deborah Myers is a wife, mother
and fitness activist with a flair
and love for journalism. Her
enthusiasm for family and healthy
living has lead her to pursue
online publishing through Blogger,
Hubpages, and Examiner in
addition to publications in Real
Life Ezine and The Gazette of
Gloucester County College.
Learn More About It
American Cancer Society
800-227-2345
www.cancer.org
Cancer Treatment Centers of America,
Philadelphia
800-931-9299
www.cancercenter.com/eastern-hospital.cfm
Lourdes Health System
888-LOURDES
www.lourdesnet.org
Thermographic Diagnostic Imaging
856-596-5834
www.tdinj.com
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D
eciding to divorce or reacting to a spouse’s divorce request is never easy, especially after a
long marriage. And while there’s never a good time to let loved ones know you’re divorcing,
many hold off until after the holidays. Frequently this is done to spare the pain until after the
celebrations and rituals are over. But there are mixed reviews regarding the impact.
The Non-Intimidating Divorce:
Is It Possible?
Our Experts Say Yes!
By Jackie Pantaliano
cut costs when first sitting down with your
attorney. “I strongly suggest you compile
all the documents and details for your
first visit because it’s mandatory to file a
Case Information Statement (CIS) with
the divorce complaint. With everything
in place at the first meeting, you’ll save a
lot of time at subsequent meetings.” He
recommends you come prepared with:
• tax returns
• information pertaining to your
children’s school if they are attending
private school or college
• the deed to your house or houses
• knowledge of whose name the house
and car are in
• all information on any bank accounts
and investments
• all information on any profit sharing
and pensions plans.
Larrabee also advises before filing to:
• get medical and dental exams,
purchase eyeglasses and have
prescriptions filled
• check your healthcare coverage
• get a safe deposit box to store
valuables and documents
• pull your credit report
• have the house appraised
• check beneficiaries on insurance
policies and wills
• start thinking about a new will for
yourself
According to Vanella, “Understand
that once you decide to separate, you
will have the expense of maintaining
two households instead of one. Have a
plan for your new lifestyle, especially if
you have not been the ‘breadwinner’
and be educated on the duties that
were your spouse’s, because now those
responsibilities may become yours.”
Is Mediation Right for You?
Regarding the actual divorce procedure,
all three professionals agree that
mediation can save time, money and the
stress of going to trial. To put their clients’
needs first, Schwartz’s partner, Steven M.
Slotnick, Esq., became a certified divorce
mediator.
Vanella says mediation saves between
40% and 90% of the cost of a litigated
divorce in court with two attorneys. “When
couples agree to mediate, they come
together to discuss, negotiate and settle
the terms of their divorce,” she says. “This
doesn’t mean the couples come in as
best friends. There is often conflict. The
mediator is a neutral third party whose
goal is to come to an agreement that is
fair and equitable to both parties. After
an agreement has been made, Vanella
recommends that each party has its
attorney review it, create a Property
Settlement Agreement and proceed with
the actual court filings.
What about the Kids?
When there are adolescent or older
children, Larrabee notes that the main
concern is, “will I be taken care of and
how will the divorce affect me?” She
adds that kids will take their cue from their
parents’ behavior. “Many times kids are
aware of the problems and relieved by a
divorce.”
“You have to be upfront with them,”
says Schwartz.” They already know, if it’s
been evident in the household, which
normally it has been. You have to be
upfront with what’s taking place, that
what’s happening is not their fault and
that you and your husband are going to
do the best you can to continue to raise
them together. And it’s most important
that neither of you condemns the other.
It’s extremely hard not to do that, and it
happens too frequently. You should never
say something like, ‘This is your father’s
fault. If he hadn’t made us sell the house,
we’d be able to stay here and you’d be
able to continue going to school here.’
That can only hurt the children.”
Vanella agrees, saying that, “People often
believe that divorce damages children,
when it’s actually the parental fighting
that does this. When our clients come to
mediation, we have a list of Parenting
Rules we present to avoid these issues.”
Larrabee mentors clients to “look at
divorce as a business transaction and not
make decisions based on emotion, anger
or revenge. Viewing the process as a series
of steps and seeking the proper support
systems will help you through the roughest
days and lead you toward a brighter
future.”
Jackie Pantaliano, owner of
ImPRessions, LLC in Voorhees,
has written for regional and
national publications. She is
a Baby Boomer wife, mom,
stepmom and dog mom.
Contact her at jackiep@
impressionspr.net or visit
www.impressionspr.net.
Right Timing
Divorce mediator Roseann Vanella of Advanced Mediation
Solutions in Voorhees definitely sees an increase in couples
seeking a divorce after a major holiday like Christmas, “because
the holidays are supposed to be a happy family time. Generally
there’s a boom in people seeking divorce assistance after the
New Year, because it’s a traditional time to start fresh.”
“I’m not so sure people look at dates,” says Williamstown attorney
Leonard T. Schwartz, Esq. of Slotnick & Schwartz. “It really just
comes down to reaching that point when you decide it’s time to
do it. Everything comes to a head, and it doesn’t seem to make
sense to go any further with the marriage. When you’ve reached
that point, it doesn’t matter if it’s January or April.”
Kay Larrabee’s ex-husband announced his divorce intention
at the beginning of February, 2008, after 20 years of marriage.
She soon realized he’d started planning his exit in the fall. “The
fact that he kept this from me throughout the holidays was very
painful—a huge betrayal,” she says.
When her then-husband broke the news, Larrabee, a mom
of three, was starting up a non-profit charitable organization
to provide interview clothing to women transitioning into the
workplace. She received no salary at the time and had to
cease plans for the business. Since then, Larrabee has turned
her negative experience into a healing one. Three years after
her divorce was finalized in September, 2010, she’s helping other
women avoid the pitfalls she experienced as owner of Women
on the Mend—a divorce concierge service. Her role is to help
women who are likely already overburdened caring for aging
parents, their jobs, mid-life issues and possibly grown or younger
children. She helps with paperwork and every aspect of planning
or reacting to a divorce.
Larrabee pools together divorce attorneys, mediators, therapists,
clergy, financial and other professionals, and literally and
figuratively holds the divorcing woman’s hand
through the process.
Comfort is key for Schwartz’s
clients, too. His office walls are
lined with Beanie Babies, race
cars, Howdy Doody memorabilia
and trolls, all to put clients at ease.
His most treasured toy is the one left
behind by a six year old who came
in with his mom. The child wanted
his Happy Meal toy—a plastic
Sebastian from “The Little Mermaid”—
to be a part of the collection.
“A contested divorce is very difficult to
handle emotionally because there are so
many issues you’d rather not hear about,” says Schwartz, “But
you still have some of that in a relatively simple divorce that is
mediated or that the parties themselves put together, because
you’ve been living with somebody for 20 years, or you’ve been
best friends from high school, and now you’re getting a divorce.”
Knowledge is Power
“Regardless of how confident and accomplished a woman
may have been prior to, and whether she initiated the divorce
or is blindsided by it, divorce seems to wreak havoc on women’s
confidence, coping skills and self-esteem,” says Larrabee. “I help
those women regain their power by de-mystifying the process
and guiding them in the steps to move forward. Women often
feel pushed around by their spouses and the entire divorce
process. I help clients understand they can steer the process to
their advantage, remaining true to their goals and saving money
by using resources more efficiently.”
Vanella’s own divorce was also a catalyst for her business. “In
my case, my ex-husband and I were actually able to resolve the
divorce on our own. I wanted to use the skills and expertise I had
built negotiating in the corporate world for 20 years along with
the experience of mediating my own divorce, to help others.”
Schwartz agrees that in order to come out of a divorce relatively
intact both financially and emotionally, a couple needs to try
their hardest to be on the same page. “I’ve heard countless
judges urge divorcing couples to compromise, stop arguing and
stop the constant return to court in order to, once and for all,
resolve the case. I couldn’t agree more. Arguing over the little
things add up. That’s why divorce can be so expensive. And the
emotional costs are, in many cases, even higher and
more damaging.”
According to Larrabee, clients who start working with her in the
planning stages, before they file for divorce, have the smoothest
transition and outcome. “Researching and organizing
finances and creating a strong
support network are much easier
prior to filing.”
Larrabee has found that women
considering divorce or who are
newly divorced, often find
solace speaking with others in
the same situation. As a result,
she offers free divorce support
groups the second and fourth
Tuesday evening of every month
in Pitman, and the third Tuesday
of every month in Mount Laurel.
Getting in Gear
Schwartz offers a straightforward way to
Free Divorce Seminar
Join divorce concierge Kay Larrabee,
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
Lynn De Vasto and divorce attorney
Scott J. Levine, Esq. on Tuesday,
December 6, 2011, 7PM-9PM at the
Voorhees Library for “Smart Divorce
Strategies in Tough Economic Times,”
a FREE seminar. For information or to
register, contact Kay at 856-628-5272
or www.TheDivorceConciergeOf
SouthJersey.com.
Learn More about It
Kay Larrabee
www.womenonthemend.com
Leonard T. Schwartz, Esq.
www.ssnjlaw.com
Roseann Vanella
www.AdvancedMediationSolutions.net PHILLY LOVES A WINNER
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Marlo
Thomas:FromThatAdorableGirl to
That AmazingWoman
By Tobi Schwartz-Cassell
If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.
The more things you do, the more you can do. — Lucille Ball
LUCY WOULD AGREE—MARLO THOMAS IS A BUSY PERSON.
And this has been a particularly big year for her! Among other things, she’s launched a new website, released her sixth book, “Grow-
ing Up Laughing: My Story and the Story of Funny” and premiered in the Broadway show, “Relatively Speaking” with Steve Guttenberg
and Julie Kavner. She has been and continues to be on a dual mission, focusing her efforts on women and children—both healthy chil-
dren, and those with cancer and other catastrophic diseases.
I had the unbelievable good fortune of having a conversation with her, and we talked
about her website, her work with St. Jude, her book, and of course, That Girl.
Tobi Schwartz-Cassell: Of the six
books you’ve written, why did you decide to do a
memoir this time?
MarIo Thomas: I’ve been asked for years to
do it. I’d tell these stories from my childhood and
people would say, ‘You’ve got to
write these down. Nobody had
a childhood like that!’ But I
don’t think my childhood was
so eccentric. In my own mind,
in my own world, we were
average. My parents weren’t
divorced, I had one mom and
one dad, we went to Mass on
Sunday; I think of ours as an
average family. We were a very
close family with a middle
class work ethic. But when I
tell the stories of what hap-
pened at the dinner table—
that gets a little eccentric.
So I started to think about
it and make a few notes figuring someday I’ll do
a book about my life and then I just got into it. It
is really fabulous to go back and write about your
childhood. It’s amazing what comes back to you.
The colors…the textures. I never realized my fa-
vorite room was my dad’s bathroom. It was a place
that was fun. It’s where I would sit on the edge of
the tub and listen, while he shaved, to his adven-
tures of being on the road touring in night clubs.
I remember the oatmeal-colored tile…everything
just came right up to the surface.
TSC: Why did you decide to format the book the
way you did, interspersing interviews with comedi-
ans and jokes all throughout?
MT: It just evolved. I didn’t start the book that
way. I started writing about myself and my life.
I wrote about how my dad grew up in a kind of
grim childhood. Ten children, no money. His par-
ents were from Lebanon. They barely spoke Eng-
lish, and lived in a neighborhood with other im-
migrant families. And I started thinking about my
dad’s Uncle Tony who was so funny that he was
banned from family funerals. My dad had that
one warm, funny guy in his life who made up for
all the grim people. And then I had my dad, who
gave me laughter and it made my mind wander.
And I thought, “Oooo! I wonder if Jerry Seinfeld
had someone funny in his life, or Lily Tomlin.
Who was funny in her life? I
loved interviewing them, and
their conversations were so
interesting, and then when I
listened to the tapes, I liked so
much of what they said about
comedy that I thought, ‘I have
to use these in my book!’
So I placed them in the
book in a way where it fit my
story. Everything sort of has
a place. It felt very organic
to me. Same with the jokes.
I didn’t expect to put those
in, but something someone
said or something I wrote re-
minded me of a joke. And I
thought, ‘this is a book about comedy, why not in-
clude them?’ It was fun to do.
TSC: If you weren’t surrounded by show busi-
ness all your life, do you think you would have
gone into a different industry?
MT: I have no idea. People ask me all the time,
‘what was it like to be Danny Thomas’ daughter?’
Well—I have no idea. I was never anybody else’s
daughter, so how could I know? Show business
is so much a part of who I am. I talk about go-
ing to work with my father, then listening to the
tapes of his performances. Comedy is such serious
work. My dad had such respect for the audience.
I learned so much from my father! I know how to
tell a joke like it’s a story and it’s important for me
to tell the story well. In my book, I would re-write
the jokes to make them work better. My editor got
such a kick out of that. I know I learned that from
my father.
TSC: We can’t talk about your father without
discussing St. Jude. Let’s start with a short ex-
cerpt from your book: “…no one in his poor
neighborhood ever went to a doctor. …He saw
firsthand the inequity of poor health care and
was galvanized by the experience. He was go-
ing to fix it. And he used his gift of laughter to
pay for it. He named the hospital after St. Jude,
patron saint of hopeless causes, to whom he’d
prayed when his budding performing career
had stalled. ‘Give me a sign to help me find my
way in life, and someday I’ll build a shrine in
your name.’ He soon found fame, and kept his
promise.”
MT: St. Jude is an amazing place. We are a re-
search and treatment center under one roof. And
no child is ever denied treatment because his or
her family can’t pay. Every child who comes to
St. Jude has a doctor and a scientist on his or her
case. They come from Boston, Seattle, Los An-
geles, New York…where they all have wonder-
ful hospitals. But we aren’t just a hospital. We are
a research center. The other hospitals work with
what they know, and what we can do is work on
what they don’t know. That was my father’s dream
and that was his mission. He’d say, ‘I don’t want to
just make sick kids better, I want to find out what
makes them sick.’
And because we have always been a research
center as well as a hospital, we still have DNA tis-
sue from children who came in the 60s. Kids who
died 40, 50 years ago. And our scientists are still
able to study it and it affects our work today. Peo-
ple don’t know the depth of power of what we do.
There’s no place like St. Jude.
TSC: You are the National Outreach Director for
St. Jude, and you have come up with a phenom-
enal campaign.
MT: It costs $1.7 million a day to run St. Jude.
And my father promised we would never turn away
a child whose family couldn’t pay. That’s a big
promise. So we have a lot of campaigns to raise
money. But I wanted to find a way to not just raise
money, but to raise awareness as well. I wanted
to be sure parents and grandparents know about
us in case, God forbid, they need us. So I found
a way to tell that story with our Thanks & Giving
Campaign. We kick it off every year on the day
loved interviewing them, and
their conversations were
interesting, and then when I
listened to the tapes, I liked so
much of what they said about
comedy that I thought, ‘I have
to use these in my book!’
book in a way where it fit my
story. Everything sort of has
a place. It felt very organic
to me. Same with the jokes.
I didn’t expect to put those
in, but something someone
said or something I wrote re-
minded me of a joke. And I

24 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com 2524 GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – Girlfrien- dzMag.com
after Thanksgiving. It’s the one time of year
when we knew families would be together.
And there is no religious connotation to it.
We made it a campaign that would encour-
age people who were out holiday shopping to
‘give thanks for the healthy children in their
life and give to those who are not’ by adding a
little something to the total of their purchase
for the children of St. Jude. We raised $65
million last year!
TSC: As many people know, you’re married
to Phil Donahue. With both of you being ce-
lebrities, are you ever able to have some nor-
malcy in your lives?
MT: Oh, yes. We just had four really nice
days together in our house in Connecticut. I
took off a couple days after working so hard
for three days at St. Jude. We have a boat and
it’s small enough that he’s the captain and
I’m the crew. It’s a very good time for us.
TSC: Tell me about your website. What is
your mission?
MT: It’s all about dreaming again. It’s not
over ‘til it’s over is my motto. I created this
website because when I’d go out on the road
for St. Jude, women would raise their hands
and say, ‘My husband borrowed on our 401K
and I didn’t know it and now we’re divorced.’
And another woman whose daughters had
gone off to college and was dealing with an
empty nest said ‘I miss my girls so much!’
And another said to her, ‘You’re lucky! I can’t
get my kids out of the house!’ And they all
complained that there’s nothing on the web
for women 40 and over. Everything is for
young women. So I developed this website in
partnership with AOL as a way of building a
community for women.
And it’s grown, but I still do the writing:
the Quote of the Day, the Laugh of the Day
and all the starting over stories. I go to the
park and the mall with my microphone and
ask people questions like: ‘What’s something
your mother told you that you’ll always re-
member?’ And then it sparks conversation on
the website, and helps to build our commu-
nity where we can all talk to each other. It’s
very exciting.
TSC: What are some of the books you like
to read?
MT: This year I liked “Cutting for Stone”
by Abraham Verghese, “Nemesis” by Philip
Roth, “Room” by Emma Donoghue, “Snow
Flower and the Secret Fan” by Lisa See and
“Googled” by Ken Auletta. They’re all great.
TSC: What is your favorite TV show?
MT: Mad Men. I just love it. I’m a fanatic. I got
the DVDs so I haven’t missed one episode!
TSC: Every woman I know—including me—
wanted to be “That Girl.” How did you come up
with the groundbreaking character of Ann Marie?
MT: I hear that from a lot of women. They
say, ‘I wanted to be “That Girl”’ or ‘I wanted her
clothes…the apartment…the boyfriend…’ I
think the show came at a time when girls were
looking for a different kind of role model, more
independent than TV had shown before.
I had done a pilot for another show called,
Two’s Company. It was about a young woman
and her husband who’d been married for a
couple of weeks. She was a model and her young
husband was a lawyer. It was a cute show but it
didn’t sell.
The head of ABC, Edgar Scherick, called me
in with my agent and said, ‘This show didn’t sell
but we believe you can be a TV star and we want
to find a show for you.’ Clairol said, ‘we’ll pay for
it; we believe in her.’
I was thrilled. I was only 20 years old. They
sent me some pilot scripts, but I noticed that I
was either the daughter of somebody, the wife of
somebody, the secretary of somebody. So I asked,
“Did you ever think of having a show where the
girl is the somebody?” I wanted it to be differ-
ent. I wanted her to be a girl like me who went to
college, graduated from college and had a father
who was terrified of her being independent, liv-
ing on her own and losing her virginity.
I gave Edger a copy of “The Feminine Mys-
tique.” And to his credit, he read it and called me
afterward and said, ‘Is this going to happen to
my wife?’ The book is about women starting over,
re-evaluating their lives and their marriages. It
was radical at the time. Some women used it as
the reason they left their husbands.
Bill Persky, who co-created the show said,
‘That Girl threw the hand grenade into the bun-
ker and all the other feminine TV characters
walked through it.’ When you’re the first at any-
thing, the impression can be enormous.
Edgar took a chance on it. He and every-
body else thought Ann Marie was a revolution-
ary figure. But girls my age were thinking about
it and girls your age were learning about it. It
was already happening. It was bubbling un-
“That Girl”45 Years Later—
Who are the
Game Changers
this TV Season?
Below is an excerpt from
Marlo Thomas’ blog on
The Huffington Post
When I think of the 45th anniversary of
That Girl, I like to envision a fabulous
dinner party with all the women who
followed Ann Marie. Mary Richards
would be there, throwing her cap up in
the air. Kate & Allie, who represented
the first contemporary single moms
on TV, would be there, too (they’d have
to get a sitter, but still). I can see Ann
worrying about Roseanne, who’s pretty
outspoken, and wondering if she’d like
anyone, but then sitting her next to
Murphy Brown, who’s got a few opin-
ions of her own, and watching those
two get along great. And then she’d
put Rachel from Friends next to Carrie
Bradshaw. We’d invite Donald — but
of course, he couldn’t stay over. And
Mr. Big, who could.
To read the entire blog entry, visit:
www.huffingtonpost.com/marlo-thomas/ann-
maries-children_b_964875.html?ref=marlo-
thomas
der the Earth. Gloria Steinem went undercover
as a Playboy Bunny to report on how they were
treated. When you think about the women who
grew up in the 50s and 60s, they were thinking, ‘I
don’t want to be June Cleaver. I don’t want to be
the lady in the apron.’ On the shows at the time,
like my father’s show Make Room for Daddy,
the woman was at home, waiting for her hus-
band to come home from work to have dinner.
TSC: What was the reasoning behind Ann Ma-
rie being an only child?
MT: Nobody’s ever asked me that question! I
don’t know why, but if I had to guess, it’s proba-
bly because they wanted to focus on the relation-
ship with her over-protective father, which many
young girls were going through.
TSC: Tell me about Donald—the late Ted Bes-
sell. Every girl loved him.
MT: He was adorable. I
loved him. We got along
from the very first mo-
ment. I read with a lot of
young actors but he was
the best. He was the kind
of guy who could be funny
and hold onto his mascu-
linity. We wanted a real
guy who could stand up to
her, love Ann Marie, protect her and stand up to
her dad. He did all that. He never lost his ability
to be a strong guy and that made him attractive
to the girls in the audience. And it made for very
good chemistry between the two characters. That
was a very important part of the character of
Donald—to be a guy who you would want Ann
Marie to end up with. He was her match.
TSC: Did your character change over the
course of the show?
MT: Yes! Sure she did! She matured, she got
smarter, but she never got a good job! She played
a singing mop for a commercial and a danc-
ing chicken for a fast food place. A producer
tried to seduce her and she punched him in the
nose. She took acting classes, but we couldn’t
let her become a successful actress because the
show was about ‘getting there.’ About those years
where a young woman is finding herself. And I,
in particular, wanted to say to young girls, “You
have all the time in the world—take it.” When I
graduated from college, I’d been a bridesmaid 17
times. I really wanted to buck all that. There is a
time in a young woman’s life, even if she’s going
to get married, that she needs to
find out who she is and what her
dreams are. Because marriage
and children can interrupt your
dreams and women can find it
hard to get back to their dreams.
TSC: Why didn’t Ann and Donald’s wed-
ding ever happen? Was the show cancelled
before they had a chance to tie the knot?
MT: The show wasn’t cancelled. As a
matter of fact, they’d asked us to re-up for
three more years. But I felt I was too old
for it. I was a girl when it started, I was
a woman when it ended. I’d grown up.
Ann Marie should either marry Donald
or become a successful actress. After five
years, you had to tie up some of those ribbons.
So the network said, ‘Let them get married.’ And
I said, ‘That’s another show.’ They wanted me to
end the show with a wed-
ding. But I thought that
would be a betrayal of all
the girls and women who
counted on her indepen-
dence. There are a lot of
happy endings, and mar-
riage is not the only one.
So instead, I took Donald
to a women’s lib meeting
on our last show. We received a lot of mail from
women thanking us for not marrying off Ann
Marie and Donald.
TSC: I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed
talking to you. Is there anything you’d like to add?
MT: Just one thing. My father used to tell us
that there are two kinds of people in the world—
those who stop and help at a traffic accident and
those who drive by—so stop and help. That’s
how he raised us. Whatever you see, whether
it’s some little kid who’s not getting attention,
or some boys beating up on another little boy, or
some woman who’s crossing the street and can’t
make it, we need to notice and help out. My dad
felt like a member of the neighborhood and the
neighborhood was the whole country. No matter
what city we were in, he felt like he had to help
whoever needed it. One time, I was with him and
he saw a traffic accident. He jumped out of the
car (this was before cell phones) to find a phone
booth to call for help. If there was a little bit
more of that kind of empathy in our lives, things
might be better in our neighborhoods and in our
world. g
Did you know
thatMarlo
Thomas…
■ is a co-founder, along with Gloria
Steinem, of the Ms. Foundation for
Women? The organization created
Take Our Daughters to Work Day.
■ won a Grammy, Emmy and a Golden
Globe?
■ was the goddaughter of Loretta
Young?
■ was born Margaret Julia Thomas? Her
parents nicknamed her Margo but the
only way she could pronounce it was
“Marlo.”
■ shared a stage in LA in the 60s with
John Aniston (Jennifer’s dad) and in
the 90s, played the mom to Jennifer’s
character Rachel in Friends?
■ first appeared on TV in Bonanza? She
was Tai Li, a fiery Chinese-Persian
mail-order bride for Hoss. The director
tacked on the Persian ancestry
when the make-up department tried
everything—but failed—to make her
round eyes, oval-shaped.
■ wasn’t the daughter of just one show
biz pro, but two? Her mother, Rose
Marie Cassanitti, was originally a singer
in a nightclub.
■ fell in love with Phil Donahue the
very first time they met? It was in
1977 on national TV when she was a
reluctant guest on his show. What truly
impressed her about him was that he
didn’t want to ask questions about her
father…but her mother.
Learn More about It
Marlo Thomas’ Website
www.marlothomas.com
St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital
www.stjude.org
Thanks & Giving Campaign
www.tg.stjude.org/partners/
TheMuseumofBroadcastCommunications
www.museum.tv/eotvsectionphp?entrycode
=thatgirl .

GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com 27
Interpreting Your Dreams
The 5 Most Common Recurring Dreams:
What They Mean and the Lessons They Teach Us
by Lauri Quinn Loewenberg
yourself at work or to a new boss.
The lesson
There is probably some unpreparedness, uncertainty
or even vulnerability with your job or career that
needs to be addressed.There is a lesson to be learned
here, so sit up straight and pay attention!Your
dreaming mind is placing you back in school because
it really wants you to“make the grade”in real life.
5. Naked in public
Ah, the good ol’naked-in-public dream. How many
times have you hadTHAT one? Standing there in
all your glory for the whole world to see is rather
uncomfortable and embarrassing for sure, and it
makes you feel vulnerable and exposed. Hellooo???
Insecurity!!! Not surprisingly, it is those very feelings
in waking life that are often the cause of the dreaded
naked-in-public dream.You will find that you have
this dream when you are about to be or were recently
in a waking life situation where all eyes were on you,
such as when you gave a presentation in front of the
board room, when it was evaluation time or when
you hosted a dinner party for the in-laws. I had this
dream the night before I went on GoodMorning
America!The root of the dream is connected to
concern that others are going to see your flaws—not
necessarily your physical flaws—but rather your
performance flaws.
But have you noticed that no one else in the dream
ever seems to give a flip that you’re naked and that
you are the only one freaking out about it?This is the
way your dreaming mind is reassuring you that there
is no need to feel embarrassed or exposed.You are the
only one giving so much thought and energy to this
situation.
The lesson
Whatever it is that is causing you to feel insecure in
your performance or abilities is not as bad as you
think.Yes, certain situations can really make you feel
vulnerable but know that these situations also make
you more confident.
So, why are these dreams so common? And more
importantly, why is it that these common dreams also
keep coming back? It’s quite simple really. All these
common dreams are directly connected to very
common issues and behaviors we all share: mis-
speaking, avoidance of tough issues, a need to rise
above what weighs us down, work anxiety and
vulnerability. As long as the issues and behaviors keep
showing up, so will the dreams.You see, our dreaming
minds are happy to nag us to death about issues it
wants fixed. Once you correct the issue and improve
the behavior, you have not only ended the dream,
you’ve also dramatically improved your life!
Foralmosttwodecades,Lauri
Loewenberghasbeeninspiringpeople
towakeuptothepoweroftheir
dreamingminds.Hergroundbreaking
workhasmadeherapopularguest
featuredonTheView,GoodMorning
America,TheTodayShow,CNN,Dr.
Ozandcountlessradioshows.She
istheauthorofthreebestsellingbooksondreams,thelatest
beingDreamOnIt,UnlockYourDreamsChangeYourLife.www.
lauriloewenberg.com.
E
very night, we leave the outer world behind and fall into our own
inner world. Sometimes it’s a world of talking animals, sometimes
it’s a world of monsters and hungry zombies, and sometimes it’s
a world where we are rubbing elbows with celebrities.Whatever
world in which you find yourself at night, it’s a world that’s uniquely your
own.Well, most of the time!
While it’s true that our dreams are our very own individual and unique
creations, there are a handful of dreams that we ALL find ourselves in
from time to time, again and again. In fact, there are 5 dreams that are so
common among us that they get reported to me on a daily basis. Let’s
explore what these common dreams are, what they mean, why they keep
happening and what we can learn from them.
1. Being Chased
In my research and experience I’ve found that the being chased dream is the
most common recurring dream that women get. No matter who or what is
hot on your heels in a dream, chasing dreams are caused by“fight or flight”
situations in waking life, where you choose“flight”(avoidance) rather than
“fight”(confrontation).
If this is a common dream for you, you need to ask yourself what issue you
are currently running from rather than facing. Is it a confrontation you need
to make? An obligation from which you want out? An issue you don’t know
how to deal with? Or is it something from the past you are afraid will catch
up with you?
The lesson
You can’t run forever. Avoidance is never a good way to handle an issue. All it
does is prolong the pain and anxiety.These dreams will stop when you face
and deal with whatever it is you fear during waking hours.
2.Teeth falling out
This dream actually has nothing to do with your oral hygiene at all! Body
parts in dreams are more about the emotional and psychological parts
of your personality than the actual physical parts of you.That being said,
to your dreaming mind, your teeth or any part of your mouth are actually
about the part of you that communicates.When your teeth fall out in a
dream, it usually means that, in waking life, you’ve allowed something out of
your mouth that should have remained in there permanently.
If this is a common dream for you, you need to ask yourself what you
have recently let slip that you shouldn’t have. Did you gossip? Did you not
tell the truth about something or someone? Did you divulge too much
information? Did you say something to someone that you later realized was
hurtful?What did you say without thinking about it first?
The lesson
Your dreams are trying to show you that you must be careful about what
comes out of your mouth because once it is out, like a tooth, you can’t put it
back. Paying attention to your teeth dreams helps you monitor and improve
the way you communicate.
3. Flying
To soar high in the sky and be free of gravity, to feel the wind blowing on
your face and whipping through your hair… sigh; nothing beats the flying
dream.The flying dream is so common because it’s an expression of our
innate need to break free from Earthly woes and from things that bring
us down and make us feel heavy. So you may find yourself flying in your
dreams at night when you have broken free from a bad relationship or a
heavy situation the previous day.The flying dream is also connected to your
ability to soar to new heights and reach a higher level in your life or career
than where you are now.
The lesson
This dream is just about the best dream you can possibly have.Take it as
a pat on the back from your subconscious for a job well done. But most
importantly, when life brings you down, remember that this dream is
showing your ability to rise above, and the ability to break free is very much
alive and well within you.
4. Back at school
Even if you graduated ten, twenty, even fifty years ago, your dreaming mind
keeps pulling you back into chemistry class wearing nothing but your Nikes,
or roaming the halls trying to find your locker. It’s a very aggravating dream!
The reason school is such a popular dream locale is because the dynamics
of the school setting continue on into your job or career and also into your
social life. School is where you first learn the importance of being on time
and meeting deadlines. It’s where you learn how to prepare and“do your
homework,”where you learn how to deal with scrutiny, how to move on up
the ladder and how to fit in. Basically, it’s where you learn all your basic job
and social skills. School dreams are most often connected to your work life
and slightly less often connected to your social life.
When you find yourself back in those cinder-block halls at night, you need
to ask yourself what is going on at work or in your career that reminds you
of what went on in your dream. If you’re late for class in your dream, are you
worried about a deadline at work? If you can’t find your class or your locker,
are you not feeling like you’re where you’d like to be in your job or career?
And if you have to take your senior year all over again, even though you
know you already graduated years ago, ask yourself if you have to prove
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Help!
W
hen my son left for college three years ago, I
replaced him with a Yorkiepoo. It was a great idea.
I’ve still got someone to take care of, feed, pick up
after and talk to. Captain, unlike my son, even loves
going on long walks with me. The one thing Captain can’t do is fix my
computer.
As the mother of a tech-savvy son, I was spoiled rotten. From the
time Tom was in middle school, he easily solved any computer
problem that developed. I’m not the only mom in this predicament.
Most of my friends haven’t got a clue what goes on inside their
desktops because they’ve always counted on their kids to keep the
gizmos in good working order.
My pal Jody, who lives across the country, just got a new puppy. “I
want to see photos!” I emailed her.
“You can!” she responded. “I just posted them on my
Facebook page.”
I searched her page. No photos.
Turns out she’d carefully followed her adult son’s step-by-step
photo-posting instructions. But since she’d relied on him to handle
anything computer-related from the time he was a toddler, now that
he’s up and gone, she, like me, is computer-stupid. She thought she
was posting puppy photos on Facebook. Who knows where those
photos ended up?
We moms with college-aged kids don’t want to follow screen after
screen of inscrutable instructions. We want our computers to
continue to function as well as they did when our kids were under
our roofs to take care of them.
I’m proud of my son. He’s taking challenging courses at a fiercely
competitive elite university. He made Phi Beta Kappa in his junior
year. He’s started a profitable business, and runs a computer-
related charity. He has a great girlfriend. He even has his own dog
to walk. His life is very full and he is insanely, impossibly busy.
It just isn’t fair to ask him to drop everything to spend time fixing
basic computer glitches for me, merely because I gave birth to him
and managed to raise him to maturity without once dropping him
on his head. But I persist.
Last night I phoned once again to ask for help. “The computer won’t
let me download anything on YouTube!” I whined. “What can I do?”
He was studying for an exam, but he took a minute to email me a
link to step-by-step instructions for fixing the problem. They were
written in the usual mom-repellent gibberish. I knew it would take
hours to make any sense of them, and that in attempting to make
the fix myself, I would undoubtedly hit the wrong key and delete all
my files. Or wreck my mainframe (whatever that is). Tom could
make the fix in two minutes. He could do it in his sleep. But even in
his sleep, he’s probably too busy.
Instead of downloading videos on YouTube, I can always walk the
dog. A Yorkiepoo is what’s known as a “designer dog,” meaning that
he isn’t a pure-bred dog but a mix of two different breeds. Captain is
part Yorkshire terrier and part Toy Poodle. The goal is to achieve a
mix of the best qualities of each breed.
If only someone could design a dog that’s a mixture of Yorkshire
terrier, Toy Poodle and Tech Support. Every mom I know with a kid in
college and an ailing computer would buy one in a heartbeat.
This essay was originally published on errantparent.
com and is reprinted here with the permission of
the author.
Roz Warren is a Philadelphia-based writer whose work
has appeared in The Funny Times and on the websites
Women’s Voices for Change and Metropolis/Voxpop.
Roz’s website is www.rosalindwarren.com.
BOOMERHUMOR
My son is in college and
my computer is
broken!
By Roz Warren
In honor of the 45th
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FROM THE EDITOR
(Continued from page 8)

Volume 4 • Issue 5 November/December 2011

Volume 4 • Issue 5 November/December 2011

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