Friendship Document

Name : Sunita Subhash Jaiswar
Address : SS-1/A, Room no-151, Sector-04,
Kopar Khairane,
Navi Mumbai – 400709.
Contact No. : +91 8454938026
Registration No. : WRO0699791
Name of IT Centre & Branch : Dombivali – Kalyan
Branch Code : WIO32
Batch Number : 10/19/71
Name of Project : Friendship
Date of Submission : 18-10-2019
The Institute of Chartered Accountants of India
(Setup by an Act of Parliament)

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Friendship - An Ever LastingBond
Friendship – A True Bond

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Table of Contents
Introduction...............................................................................................................................6
Developmental psychology........................................................................................................11
Friendshipin Childhood.............................................................................................................................................. 11
Friendshipin Adolescence...........................................................................................................................................12
Friendships inadulthood............................................................................................................................................13
Friendshipin Older adults..........................................................................................................................................14
Why We Need Friends?............................................................................................................17
Effects.......................................................................................................................................22
Health...........................................................................................................................................................................22
Mental health...............................................................................................................................................................23
True Friendship........................................................................................................................25
True Friendship -Relationship, Trust, Accountability................................................................................................25
TraitsofTrue Friendship............................................................................................................................................ 26
Friends You Need And You Can Do Without...........................................................................29
› Differenttypesoffriend you need for afull and rewarding life:............................................................................... 30
› Friend you can definitely do without...........................................................................................................................31
Types of Friendships.................................................................................................................33
TrueConnections.........................................................................................................................................................33
Needy Friendships....................................................................................................................................................... 34
RomanticFriends.........................................................................................................................................................35
Similar Interests.......................................................................................................................................................... 36
Significance of Friendship........................................................................................................37

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Friends HelpUsInteract WithJust AboutEveryone.................................................................................................38
Friends Keep UsMentally andPhysically Strong....................................................................................................... 38
Friends HelpUs Weather LonelyTimes..................................................................................................................... 39
Friends Improve the Qualityof Our Lives.................................................................................................................. 39
How can one be good friend?...................................................................................................41
Best of all the relationships — Friendship..............................................................................43
Difference Between Friendship and Relationship................................................................... 46
Definitionof Friendship..............................................................................................................................................46
DefinitionofRelationship...........................................................................................................................................47
Differences ina Nutshell.............................................................................................................................................48
Real Life Stories........................................................................................................................50
Conclusion................................................................................................................................55
Sources.....................................................................................................................................57

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List of Table of Figures
Figure 1........................................................................................................................................6
Figure 2........................................................................................................................................7
Figure 3........................................................................................................................................9
Figure 4...................................................................................................................................... 11
Figure 5...................................................................................................................................... 12
Figure 6...................................................................................................................................... 13
Figure 7...................................................................................................................................... 15
Figure 8...................................................................................................................................... 17
Figure 9...................................................................................................................................... 18
Figure 10.................................................................................................................................... 20
Figure 11.................................................................................................................................... 22
Figure 12.................................................................................................................................... 23
Figure 13.................................................................................................................................... 26
Figure 14.................................................................................................................................... 27
Figure 15.................................................................................................................................... 29
Figure 16.................................................................................................................................... 30
Figure 17.................................................................................................................................... 31
Figure 18.................................................................................................................................... 33
Figure 19.................................................................................................................................... 34
Figure 20.................................................................................................................................... 34
Figure 21.................................................................................................................................... 35
Figure 22.................................................................................................................................... 36
Figure 23.................................................................................................................................... 37
Figure 24.................................................................................................................................... 39
Figure 25.................................................................................................................................... 42
Figure 26.................................................................................................................................... 43
Figure 27.................................................................................................................................... 44
Figure 28.................................................................................................................................... 46
Figure 29.................................................................................................................................... 47
Figure 30.................................................................................................................................... 49
Figure 31.................................................................................................................................... 50
Figure 32.................................................................................................................................... 50
Figure 33.................................................................................................................................... 51
Figure 34.................................................................................................................................... 51
Figure 35.................................................................................................................................... 52
Figure 36.................................................................................................................................... 52
Figure 37.................................................................................................................................... 53
Figure 38.................................................................................................................................... 53
Figure 39.................................................................................................................................... 54
Figure 40.................................................................................................................................... 55
Figure 41.................................................................................................................................... 58

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Introduction
“Hard Time will always reveal True Friends”
Figure 1
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. Friendship
is a strongerform of interpersonalbond than an association. Friendship has
been studied in academic fields such as communication, sociology, social
psychology, anthropology, and philosophy. Various academic theories of
friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory, equity
theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.
Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from
place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of such
bonds. Such characteristics include affection; kindness, love, virtue,
sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, loyalty, generosity, forgiveness,
mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's
company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings to
others, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend.
Friendship is an essential aspect of relationship building skills.
When researchers tell us that they've associated friendship with not just
happiness but health (including specifics like betterrecovery from cancer),
it can seem as if friendship is something you ought to just go out and get
yourself.
But there are certainly mysteries involved in friendship, despite how
confident we might be about the practicaladvantages of having a good

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friend or two. And no matter how much we appreciate our friends, the
relationship is still likely to be a peculiar one, full of ups and downs and a
particular kind of commitment. We can know who are true friends are
without stopping to consider how much luck is involved in friendship, or
how a true friend really differs from someone with whom we are just
friendly.
Figure 2
So perhaps philosophy can be of some help.
Aristotle's account of friendship might be his most-studied proposal. It's
easily detached from his full ethical account and as a result it can be
explained simply. It is also helpful, because we do not tend to analyze the
concept of "friendship," despite how frequently we engage and depend on
our friends.
Aristotle suggested that there were three types of friendship: a pleasure-
based sort, where you stay friends as long as you are having a good time
with a person; a utility-based sort, where you stay friends because it is
so convenient todo so; and a virtue-sort, which is out of reach for most

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of us, but the very best kind of friendship. Aristotle tells us you are to live
your life with a friend like this, sharing meals and everyday experiences
together. But all of this depends on your commitment to pursuing virtue,
and most of us don't have the time for that.
If we really want to think critically about our own friendships, I suggest
Ralph Waldo Emerson be given more attention.
Emerson, an incredibly influential and charismatic figure, noted in his day
for inspiring the deepest of admiration from those around him, has an
incredibly thoughtfulessay titled "On Friendship." It is a rousing tribute to
friends. The Epicureans were known for putting friendship in the category
of immortal good, but you can scarcely find friendship lauded in more
cosmic terms than you do in Emerson.
And yet, Emerson seems more realistic than Aristotle on friendship.
Though we do require some degree of magnanimity to be marked as a
friend, Emerson certainly does not require we have virtue. Here is what he
thinks it does take. It seems a certain independence is necessary in a friend:
Friendship requires that rare mean betwixt likeness and unlikeness, that
piques each with the presence of power and of consent in the other party.
Let me be alone to the end of the world, rather than that my friend should
overstep, by a word or a look, his real sympathy. I am equally balked by
antagonismand by compliance. Let him not cease an instant to be himself.
… The condition which high friendship demands is ability to do without it.
That high office requires great and sublime parts. There must be very two,
before there can be very one. Let it be an alliance of two large, formidable
natures, mutually beheld, mutually feared, before yet they recognize the
deep identity which beneath these disparities unites them.
It is important for our self-respect, that our friends resist us a bit and push
back on some of our ideas. It is awful to feel you have a friend due to pity.
He also notes how odd it is that we will never become friends with some
people, no matter how much time we spend with them, writing, "No two
men but, being left alone with each other, enter into simpler relations. Yet
it is affinity that determines which two shall converse. Unrelated men give
little joy to each other; will never suspect the latent powers of each."

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Figure 3
And yet, Emerson never suggests that any friendship itself can lives up to
its promise. Is this also realistic?
The higher the style we demand of friendship, of course the less easy to
establish it with flesh and blood. We walk alone in the world. Friends, such
as we desire, are dreams and fables. But a sublime hope cheers ever the
faithfulheart, that elsewhere, in otherregions of the universal power, souls
are now acting, enduring, and daring, which can love us, and which we can
love.
His suggestion seems tobe that friends inspire us, butnot through ourdaily
interactions. It is the idea that we have made friends, that we have friends,
that seems todo all the bolstering work, forEmerson. His advice is unusual,
and it certainly complicates any over-cheery advice that assume the
relationship between friends is a simple one: I do then with my friends as I
do with my books. I would have them where I can find them, but I seldom
use them. We must have society on our own terms, and admit or exclude
it on the slightest cause. I cannot afford to speak much with my friend.

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You might see them everyday, once a year, or less. Or, you might hardly see
them, but keep in touch by phone, email, or online.
Friends might come and go, they might make you laugh and cry, but most
importantly of all, they love you for who you are.
It doesn’t matterwhat a person looks like or what kind of clothes they wear.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts and your friends should know that
about you.
Likewise, having friends means you’ve a responsibility to be there for them
too, even when the going gets tough.

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Developmental psychology
 Friendship in Childhood
The understanding of friendship in children tends to be more heavily
focused on areas such as common activities, physicalproximity, and shared
expectations. These friendships provide opportunity for playing and
practicing self-regulation. Most children tend to describe friendship in
terms of things like sharing, and children are more likely to share with
someone they considerto be a friend. As children mature, they become less
individualized and are more aware of others. They gain the ability to
empathize with their friends, and enjoy playing in groups. They also
experience peer rejection as they move through the middle childhood
years. Establishing good friendships at a young age helps a child tobe better
acclimated in society later on in their life.
Based upon the reports of teachers and mothers, 75% of preschoolchildren
had at least one friend. This figure rose to 78% through the fifth grade, as
measured by co-nomination as friends, and 55% had a mutual best friend.
About 15% of children were found to be chronically friendless, reporting
periods without mutual friends at least six months.
Figure 4

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Potential benefits of friendship include the opportunity to learn about
empathy and problem solving. Coaching from parents can be useful in
helping children to make friends. Eileen Kennedy-Moore describes three
key ingredients of children's friendship formation: (1) openness, (2)
similarity, and (3) shared fun.Parents can also help children understand
social guidelines they haven't learned on their own. Drawing from research
by Robert Selman and others, Kennedy-Moore outlines developmental
stages in children's friendship, reflecting an increasing capacity to
understand others' perspectives: "I Want It My Way", "What's In It For
Me?", "By the Rules", "Caring and Sharing", and "Friends Through Thick
and Thin."
 Friendship in Adolescence
In adolescence, friendships become "more giving, sharing, frank,
supportive, and spontaneous." Adolescents tend to seek out peers who can
provide such qualities in a reciprocalrelationship, and toavoid peers whose
problematic behavior suggest they may not be able to satisfy these needs.
Relationships begin to maintain a focus on shared values, loyalty, and
common interests, rather than physical concerns like proximity and access
to play things that more characterize childhood.
Figure 5

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A study performed at the University of Texas at Austin examined over 9,000
American adolescents to determine how their engagement in problematic
behavior (such as stealing, fighting, and truancy) was related to their
friendships. Findings indicated that adolescents were less likely to engage
in problem behavior when their friends did well in school, participated in
school activities, avoided drinking, and had good mental health. The
opposite was found regarding adolescents who did engage in problematic
behavior. Whether adolescents were influenced by their friends to engage
in problem behavior depended on how much they were exposed to those
friends, and whether they and their friendship groups "fit in" at school.
A study by researchers from Purdue University found that friendships
formed during post-secondary education last longer than friendships
formed earlier. Adulthood
 Friendships in adulthood
Freundschaft zwischen Jonathan und David by Julius Schnorr von
Karolsfeld (1860), which translates in English as Friendship between
Jonathan and David
Friendship in adulthood provides companionship, affection, as well as
emotional support, and contributes positively to mental well-being and
improved physical health.
Figure 6

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Adults may find it particularly difficult to maintain meaningful friendships
in the workplace. "The workplace can crackle with competition, so people
learn to hide vulnerabilities and quirks from colleagues. Work friendships
often take on a transactional feel; it is difficult to say where networking
ends and real friendship begins." Most adults value the financial security of
their jobs more than friendship with co-workers.
The majority of adults have an average of two close friends. Numerous
studies with adults suggest that friendships and other supportive
relationships do enhance self-esteem.
 Friendship in Older adults
Older adults continue to report high levels of personal satisfaction in their
friendships as they age, and even as the overall number of friends tends to
decline. This satisfaction is associated with an increased ability to
accomplish activities of daily living, as well as a reduced decline in cognitive
abilities, decreased instances of hospitalization, and better outcomes
related to rehabilitation. The overall numberof reported friends in later life
may be mediated by increased lucidity, better speech and vision, and
marital status.

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Figure 7
Research within the past four decades has now consistently found that
older adults reporting the highest levels of happiness and general well
being also report strong, close ties to numerous friends.
As family responsibilities and vocational pressures lessen, friendships
become more important. Among the elderly, friendships can provide links
to the largercommunity, serve as a protective factoragainst depression and
loneliness, and compensate for potentiallosses in social support previously
given by family members. Especially for people who cannot go out as often,
interactions with friends allow for continued societal interaction.
Additionally, older adults in declining health who remain in contact with
friends show improved psychological well-being.

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Why We Need Friends?
 Friendfluence affects you in
more ways than you realize.
Flora made up the word
"friendfluence" to capture the
effect that friends have on our
lives: “Friendfluence is the
powerful and often
unappreciated role that
friends—past and present—
play in determining our sense
of self and the direction of our
lives”. Whether you realize it
or not, your friends have
shaped who you are today.
You are even the product of
the friends who are no longer
your friends.
 Friends can give you vital life
skills. Friendfluence gives you
vital life skills; “the very
abilities one generally needs
to be successful in life”. There
are many perks of friendship
include sharpening your
mind, making you generally
happier, knowing yourself
better, becoming inspired to
reach your goals, advancing
your career, helping you meet
romantic partners, and living
a longer and healthier life.
 Childhood friendships start
your learning process. Early
friendships play a vital role
because they occur while key
developmental changes are
taking place. They help teach
us some of those important
life skills but also shape our
life “narrative.” Flora
advocates for parents and
teachers to give kids
unstructured time to
work out their own social
Figure 8

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relationships rather than to
over-program them into
restrictive activities.
 Teen friendships shape your
later romantic bonds. Though
parents spend much of their
time worrying about who
their teenage kids are with,
these relationships are a
training ground for the later
long-term bonds that will
evolve through adulthood.
Flora advises parents to
recognize that peers will
“trump” them every time, and
so instead of fighting with
your kids about spending too
much time with their friends,
or who their friends are, you
can help your children more
by inviting their friends over
to your home.
 Friends can help you define
your priorities. People tend to
pick friends who are similar to
them. This fact falls underthe
general proximity rule of close
relationships, in that like
tends to attract like. Because
we fall prey so easily into this
similarity trap, it is important
to try to stretch yourself to
learn from some of those
opposites. Flora points out the
many ways in which “Birds,
feather, flock.” Knowing this
can help you grow by
expanding your range of
friends and trying out some
new points of view.
 Having friends can help you
get more friends. People tend
to like others who have a
reputation for being nice and
helpful, and they like people
who like them. If you want to
be the type of person who
attracts new friends, these
Figure 9

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qualities will help get you on
your way toward building
your social group. Once you
have more friends, you’ll be
able to enjoy some of those
perks of friendship.
 Close friends support you
through thick and thin. To
take the most advantage of
friendfluence, put effort into
your closest friendships.
Although being friendly can
get you more friends, you
don’t need hundreds to help
you through life. You may
have to prune your friendship
tree as you get older to be sure
that you give enough
attention to the ones who will
really matter for your well-
being.
 Friends can make you
miserable too. There is a dark
side to friendship. The people
who know you the best are
also the ones who have the
most power to betray you,
should the relationship sour.
Friends can also get you into
trouble. If your friends are
doing something bad or
harmful, you tend to be more
likely to do so as well, a fact to
which many drinking buddies
can certainly attest. Friends
can also cause you stress when
they get in the way of other
important goals or
relationships. Be ready to say
no to friends who disappoint,
betray, or stress you and you’ll
be more likely to get the full
friendfluence effect.
 You’re less lonely when you
have friends. The worst kind
of friendfluence, according to
Flora, is a complete lack of
friends. Loneliness is painful,
especially when you are living
with loneliness for a
prolonged period of time. This
is yet another reason to put
time, energy, and attention
into finding and cultivating a
close circle of friends.
 Your online friends can steer
your thoughts and behaviors.
Although online friends are
qualitatively different than
your in-person friends, they
shape you nevertheless. They
can also be your source of life
support. Flora shows us how
Toni Bernhard, authorof How
to be Sick, and confined to her
home, has maintained a
lifeline to the outside world
through her closest online
friends. Of course, your
online friends can also make
you miserable too, especially if
you get caught in the
“friendship paradox” (the fact
that most people on Facebook
have fewer friends than the
average number). If you can
avoid having Facebook envy
dominate your life, you’ll have
more rewarding connections

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with your extended
friendship
community.
 Friends matter to
you, regardless of
gender. Although
much is made of
the difference
between male
friends, female
friends, and male-
female friend pairs,
all share the
qualities of having
the potential to
influence your life.
If you restrict
yourself to one
certain type of friendship, you
may be missing out on bonds
that transcend gender
boundaries.
 Couple friendships can help
your own relationship. People
experiencing similar life
events can often provide the
most valuable support to each
other. Unfortunately, some
couples withdraw from their
friendships when their
relationship turns serious.
You can benefit both from
maintaining your separate
friendships, but also from
sharing with the couples who
are experiencing transitions
such as becoming parents,
raising teenagers, and helping
older family members.
Friends can also help you
alleviate your work-related
stress. Even though you may
be stretched to the limit time-
wise, the investment you
make in these friendships will
be worth the psychological
benefits.
 Friends can give you a reality
check. Who but your closest
friends will tell you that your
new outfit is ridiculously
garish?What person you meet
on the street will let you know
that your latest romantic
interest is going to bring you
heartbreak? Because friends
know us so well, they are able
tosee things that we can’t, and
aren’t afraid to share their
dose of reality with you. Of
course, as we saw earlier,
friends can also make you
Figure 10

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miserable. However, the ones
who care about you have a
perspective on your behavior
that no one else can
completely see. As Flora
points out: “friends are better
at describing our behavioral
traits than we are” (p. 132).
Incidentally, this is one reason
why personality researchers
ask for “other” reports to
compare to the self-ratings
that participants themselves
provide. These “other” reports
can come closer to the mark,
especially for individuals
whose personalities ironically
make it hard for them to see
themselves in a realistic light.
 Banding together with friends
can help you effect social
change. It’s difficult, if not
impossible, to fight for a
cause, raise money for charity,
or even just make a few small
improvements in your
community on your own.
Friends are the first step, Flora
points out, to building
successful social movements.
Facebook provides one way to
enlist the support of
thousands of people. At a less
grandiose level, people are
more likely to engage in
helping and altruistic
behavior at the urging of their
close friends.
 Being a friend helps your
friends. Friendfluence works
in two directions. Not only do
you benefit from its many
perks, but by being a good
friend you are helping those
closest to you. “Being a friend
is a great honor and
responsibility, so treat your
friends carefully” (p. 235). If
you are aware of how you’re
affecting your friends, you’ll
work harder to stay close to
them which, in turn, will
benefit you as well. Being a
good friend also includes
asking them for help when
you need it. Giving someone
the gift of being influential
can be one of the greatest joys
you pass on to your friends.
The upshot is, you need friends and they need you. It doesn’t take much
skill to cultivate this close and fascinating type of human bond, but it
does take some effort. As Flora shows us, that effort will clearly pay off
in helping you lead a more fulfilling life.

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Effects
 Health
Studies have found that strong social supports improve a persons's
prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, loneliness and a
lack of social supports have been linked to an increased risk of heart
disease, viral infections, and cancer, as well as higher mortality rates
overall.
Two researchers have even termed friendship networks a
"behavioral vaccine" that boosts both physical and mental health.
There is a large body of research linking friendship and health, but the
precise reasons for the connection remain unclear. Most of the studies
in this area are large prospective studies that follow people over time,
Figure 11

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and while there may be a correlation between the two variables
(friendship and health status), researchers still do not know if there is a
cause and effect relationship, such as the notion that good friendships
actually improve health. A numberof theories have attempted toexplain
this link. These theories have included that good friends encourage their
friends to lead more healthy lifestyles; that good friends encourage their
friends to seek help and access services when needed; that good friends
enhance their friends' coping skills in dealing with illness and other
health problems; and that good friends actually affect physiological
pathways that are protective of health.
 Mental health
The lack of friendship has been found to play a role in increasing risk
of suicidal ideation among female adolescents, including having more
friends who were not themselves friends with one another. However, no
similar effect was observed formales. Having few or no friends is a major
indicator in the diagnosis of a range of mental disorders.
Figure 12
Higher friendship quality directly contributes to self-esteem, self-
confidence, and social development. A World Happiness

24
Database study found that people with close friendships are happier,
although the absolute number of friends did not increase happiness.
Other studies have suggested that children who have friendships of a
high quality may be protected against the development of certain
disorders, such as anxiety and depression. Conversely, having few
friends is associated with dropping out of school, as well as aggression,
and adult crime. Peer rejection is also associated with lower later
aspiration in the workforce, and participation in social activities, while
higher levels of friendship was associated with higher adult self-esteem.

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True Friendship
True Friendship – Recognition
How can we find true friendship in this often phony, temporary world?
Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality.
Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.
How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual
desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind.
Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and
concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for
each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves
action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in
return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or
negative criticism.
 True Friendship - Relationship, Trust,
Accountability
True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes we
mentioned above become the foundation in which recognition transpires
into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet
they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship
takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared
memories, time to invest in each other's growth.
Trust is essentialto true friendship. We all need someone with whomwe
can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be
able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that
those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be
trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a
hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them,
we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no
backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.

26
True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends
encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an
offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends
are dependable. In true friendship, unconditionallove develops. We love
our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.
Traits of True Friendship
What makes a perfect friendship?How do we find and keep friends that
encourage and strengthen who we are? How do we maintain friendships
with the demands of our jobs, family, and other responsibilities?
Reflect on the most meaningful friendships in your life. Think of that
person who you can call at any time of the day when you need some
advice, are feeling down, or when you just need a good laugh.
Although Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter allow us to be constantly
updated with our friends’ latest posts, we have to remember to sign out
of our accounts and pick up the phone and call each other.
Figure 13
We need to make a greater effort in our very busy lives to find ways to
connect face to face with friends. Although the demands of life will call
for constant attention, friends are the ones that provide
both spiritualand mental renewal. They are the ones who give hope in
life’s most difficult situations, help to de-stress your life, and provide

27
affirmation of your life’s path. When you and your friends are investing
in a conscientious relationship, meaningfulness often follows.
 Friends who are empathetic. Being empathetic is the ability to
actively try and take yourself out of your own shoes and put
yourself in someone else’s. Too often we listen to a friend’s
struggle and immediately make it about ourselves by adding our
own experiences. Sometimes, the greatest thing friends can do is
just actively listen to each other.
 Friends who are selfless. Our friends who are the most happy and
positive are the ones who are grounded, whocare, and who donot
always think about themselves. They are able to understand their
own life experience but are not consumed by their own problems.
Instead, they take action to help solve the problems of others.
 Friends who are trustworthy. Being trustworthy is a trait that is
essential for understanding that the deepest relationships are the
ones in which we can confide in each other. Trustworthy friends
remind you that you are not alone and empoweryou to be a better
person.
 Friends with shared interests. Whether this pertains to
hobbies, sports, goals, education, values, or religion, we often
Figure 14

28
preferspending time with people whoenjoy the same things as we
do. This allows for immediate connection and ultimately
strengthens our relationships.
 Friends with different perspectives and backgrounds. The time
you can truly grow as a human being, both professionally and
personally, is when you have the opportunity to listen to people
who are different from you. Sometimes, you remain in a fixed
mindset when you hang around people who just agree with you or
who do the same things as you. Friends who offer new
perspectives, ideas, experiences, and advice can help you learn
more about yourself and will help you grow as a more well
rounded human being. Friends of diverse backgrounds have the
ability to transform a fixed mindset into a growth mindset.
 Friends who are humorous. The best friends are simply the ones
who know how to make you laugh and who are full of life and
spirit. They are the ones who bring you joy, hope, and comfort
even in the midst of life’s most difficult situations.
 Friends who are a team player. A trait we learned as children but
one in which we often forget. Being a team player and putting the
needs of others before ourselves for a shared goal is what
friendship is all about. Communicating, collaborating, and active
listening are all essential traits that make the most successful
teams unstoppable forces.
Contacting friends should not be a burden or put on a to-do list. Make
a conscious effort tointegrate communicating with friends a part of your
routine. Whether it is calling a friend on your way home from work,
setting aside one evening a month to get together, ordesignating at least
once a year to reconnect, even these small changes can have a profound
influence on your overall mood and well-being. Friends help you to
maintain and strengthen healthy relationships as you balance those with
your co-workers and family members who may demand a lot from you.

29
Friends You Need And You Can Do Without
Like the saying goes, "You can't choose your family." With family, the
relationships are there whether you like them or not. But friendship is
different. Your friends are people you select based on shared values,
ideals, experiences, interests and beliefs. Your friends are your chosen
family.
Figure 15
It's important to have friends who represent the different stages of your
life and the paths that you've taken. It's important to surround yourself
with friends who know the whole you; a work friend may not know the
same you as a friend from college. When you maintain friendships from
different stages of your life, you're able to express more of your real self.
You need different types of friends in the same way that you need food
from different food groups. Different types of friends serve different
purposes, and nourish and enrich your life in different ways.

30
› Different types of friend you need for a full and
rewarding life:
 The friend who's up for anything :
This is the friend you want by your side for life's adventures. Her
enthusiasm is contagious, and you always have more fun when she's
around.
 The friend who's just a little bit cooler than you.
This friend encourages you to step outside of your comfort zone and opens
your eyes to things you might not normally see. She enriched your life by
exposing you to things that may have otherwise passed you by.
 The friend you aspire to emulate.
This friend is inspirational as well as aspirational. When you're with her,
you feel like you are a better person. You admire her and she encourages
you to be the best you can be.
Figure 16

31
 The friend who doesn't know any of your other
friends.
There's a level of privacy to this friendship that doesn't exist within
friendship circles. It will be easier to share some of your hopes and dreams,
fears and concerns knowing that they're not going to be discussed when
you're not around.
 The friend who's painfully honest.
This friend will never lie to you and never let you get away with lying to
yourself. Her open and honest perspective, delivered in a kind and
supportive way, will help you to be more honest with yourself.
 The friend you've known longer than you've
known yourself.
This is a friend you never have to put on a brave face for. She knows you
better than you know yourself, and accepts you unconditionally.
Figure 17
› Friend you can definitely do without

32
 The friend who wants you to be her parent.
While it's normal to cry on each other's shoulder, with this friend it's all
one way. She's always bringing her problems to you and expecting you to
solve them, but when things are tough for you, she's nowhere to be found.
 The friend who always lets you down.
When you're together, this friend acts like you're her best friend. She's
always making plans and promising to keep in touch, but she never keeps
her word. As soon as you're out of sight, it's as if she's forgotten you even
exist.
 The friend who always needs to be better than you.
It's only human to be envious every now and then, but while a true friend
will always be happy for you — whether it's your career, your relationship,
your wardrobe or your weight — the friend will only be happy when she's
proved that she's better than you.
So put down yourphones in the presence of your friends and sign out
of your social networks. Surrounding yourself with friends who embody
these traits will allow you to step away from the mobile social notifications
of life and find solace in each other to create meaning in the precious time
you have together.
The more we are invested in our relationships, the less we become
single-minded and forget about the things that actually matter. Find
friends that affirm a conscientious life; who uplift your soul, who are full of
life, and whoare excited about yournew ideas and want tosee you through.
When you struggle with the many obstacles life will throw at you,
know that you are not alone. Rememberthe people in your life and actively
reach out to them. The investment you make with a friend will enrich both
of your lives.

33
Types of Friendships
From childhood pals to acquaintances who you share interest with,
friendships exist on an array of planes. Whether you have a deep and
meaningful long-term friendship, a professional type of relationships or
one that borders on romance, understanding that there are different types
of friends can help you to better navigate the social scene and make
connections with others.
True Connections
Friendships that are built on real connections and have meaning to
you are likely to stick around well past the midlife point, according to
licensed counselor Suzanne Degges-White in "Friendships at Midlife: Ripe,
Juicy, Authentic" forPsychology Today. This type of friendship doesn't rely
on convenience or proximity, but comes from a true bond. In these
relationships, both friends' emotional needs are met on a deep level.
Beyond that, they occur through sharing major life moments, trusting each
other and exchanging intimate thoughts and ideas.
Figure 18

34
Needy Friendships
A needy friend clings toyou, depending on you tomeet her emotional
and psychological needs. This category of friendship isn't in balance and,
Figure 19
Figure 20

35
as time goes by, proves unfulfilling for both people. The needy friend may
feel out of control, helpless or anxious without the other person. For
example, Jenny, who considers Sherri her one and only friend, calls
constantly and feels somewhat lost when Sherri isn't around. This
friendship isn't healthy, as it needs more balance. The needy friend needs
to disengage herself from the fear of loneliness or standing on her own,
according to clinical psychologist Craig Malkin in his Huffington Post
article "How to Overcome Neediness." Doing so means making real
friendship connections based on shared interestsinstead of need. The other
friend should set clear boundaries and distance herself from the clinger's
clutch.
Romantic Friends
Some friendships include "benefits" or a romantic aspect. These
relationships aren't purely romantic, and the friends typically don't
consider themselves a true couple. Instead, they are generally platonic
except under certain situations. While this scenario may seem attainable
for some people, this type of friendship often results in complications,
notes licensed psychologist Suzanne B. Phillips in "'Friends With Benefits'
Figure 21

36
or Friends With Complications?" for Psych Central. Adding a romantic
component to a friendship, without the addition of a real relationship, may
cause confused orhurt feelings in the event that one person feels more than
the other.
Similar Interests
You like science fiction literature, and so does Mike. While he isn't
similar to your other friends and you haven't known him for years, your
mutual interest in sci-fi bonds the two of you together. Some friendships
are built on, or revolve around, common interests. While these
relationships may eventually grow deeper, they begin with a simple sharing
of a subject and in many cases donot branch out from that point. With this
type of friend, you may share an affinity for tennis, have similar political
views or belong to the same good-will community organization.
Figure 22

37
Significance of Friendship
Friends can challenge us, confuse us, and sometimes, we might wonderwhy
we bother. But friendship is as important to our wellbeing as eating right
and exercising. What’s more, friendships help us grow through each year of
our lives.
The friends we meet in school teach us how to be patient, wait our turn,
reach out, and try new hobbies. When we move into young adulthood we
learn more about taking responsibility, finding a career path, and seeking
out people as mentors.
Figure 23
As we continue into our 40s and beyond, we learn to weather the ups and
downs in life, and once again friends provide a sounding board and place
for us to grow. Friendship is key to our success with all our relationships
and it can create a sense of purpose in our lives.

38
Friends Help Us Interact With Just About
Everyone
The people we bring into our lives as friends will show us how to forgive,
laugh, and make conversation. The basic components of any relationship,
from our marriage to our co-workers, are all founded in friendship. We
learn how to interact with people because of our friends, even the ones that
are opposite from us or share a different worldview.
We don’t just talk with others but learn from them. We understand the
process of meeting new acquaintances and finding out what makes them
tick. These people help push us out of our comfort zones while still
providing a safe emotional space for us to be totally ourselves.
Friends Keep Us Mentally and Physically Strong
One of the most overlooked benefits of friendship is that it helps keep our
minds and bodies strong. In fact, it’s as important to our physical health as
eating well and keeping fit. A recent Harvard study concluded that having
solid friendships in our life even helps promote brain health.
Friends helps us deal with stress, make better lifestyle choices that keep us
strong, and allow us to rebound from health issues and disease more
quickly.

39
Figure 24
Friendship is equally important to our mental health. One study even
suggested spending time with positive friends actually changes ouroutlook
for the better. That means we’re happier when we choose to spend time
with happy people. (All the more reason to leave that toxic friendship
behind.)
Friends Help Us Weather Lonely Times
Friends don’t completely cure loneliness (that’s a common myth) but they
do help us during lonely times. We learn how to accept kindness and also
to reach out when we need help. Those painful times when we might be
without friends also help us to appreciate the friendships that come in and
out of our lives.
Having a steady stream of friends lets us know that some friendships won’t
last forever but each one brings something special. We learn more about
ourselves and how important it is to have someone, just one person, who
knows and understands you. This is the key to coming out of loneliness.
Friends Improve the Quality of Our Lives
Friends can change our value system so we learn to inject more meaning
into our lives. In spending time with friends, we fill up our lives with great

40
conversation, heartfelt caring and support, and laugh out loud fun. When
we fall on hard times, friends are there to put things in perspective and help
us. When we have success, they’re smiling at ourgood fortune. With down-
to-earth, positive people in our life we will be more mindful of gratitude
and doing nice things for others. We don’t just live when we have healthy
friendships, we thrive.

41
How can one be good friend?
 Listen – try to understand the situation from your friend’s point of
view. This way you’ll know the right sort of questions to ask and
they’ll know you care about how they feel.
 Advice – Don’t assume your friend wants advice because sometimes
all they need is someone to listen. If you feel out of your depth, advise
them to talk to a professional, and offer to be there to support them.
Check out the face-to-face help section for more on what help is out
there.
 Get the facts – if your friend has been diagnosed with a medical
condition or mental illness, learning about their condition is a good
way of showing your support. It shows you care and you’re not going
to run away because your friend’s situation has changed.
If there are support groups in your local area you could offer to
accompany your friend and be there for them.
 Protect them from themselves – if you think a friend is taking
serious risks, like experimenting with drugs or alcohol, you may need
to act without their consent to get them help. If you’re worried about
your friend’s reaction, just remember it’s because you care about
them and don’t want them to get hurt.
Depending on the situation, you may need to seek outside help,
whether it’s a teacher, counsellor, a family member or another adult.
Check out the helping a friend with a drink/drug problem section to
find out more.
 Show you care – if your friend is going through a tough time, write
them a letter or a poem showing how specialthey are to you. Remind
them that no matter how tough things get, you’ll be there for them
because that’s what friendship is about.
 Keep in touch – if you can’t physically be with yourfriend when they
need you, send them an email, chat to them online or make a quick
phone call to show you’re thinking about them.

42
 Don’t forget yourself – supporting a friend through tough periods
can put pressure on you, and it can help to talk to someone about it.
This might be a teacher, counsellor, family member or anotheradult.
Check out the services explained section for more details on who to
contact for help, for you or your friend.
 Know your limitations – there’s only so much you can do for a
friend going through serious problems. You can’t fix everything, so if
professional help is necessary, encourage your friend to seek it out.
Figure 25

43
Best of all the relationships — Friendship
What’s life without friends??We all have wished at least once that our life
was like the TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I mean who wouldn’t want to live
across their friends and just hang out and tackle life problems together.
Maybe it’s just all fantasy but no one can go through life without having a
friend. I have written about relationships in general and I have seen a
reasonable amount of relationships over the time but one thing I have
noticed is that people come and go and relationships change but friends
remain the same for life, well at least, true friends.
Figure 26

44
Why friendship is the best of all the relationships?? The thing about
friendship is that it does not need constant reassurance and friends don’t
expect anything in return from each other. There is no hidden agenda
..when it comes to friendship.
List of few things why having a friend is betterthan having a relationship :
 Saves a lot of time — I know this doesn’t make any sense but let
me explain it. In a relationship, first, you’ve got to find this person to
date and carry it forward. The hard part is finding that person who
really likes us and vice versa. Then there is the period of courting
that person before things could get serious. But finding a friend is
the easiest job in the world. A simple “Hi” is enough to befriend
someone. Thus, having a friend is time saving.
 No fancy dates!! — Trust me on this. You could save a lot of
money!! Dinner dates or any kind of date, as a matter of fact, costs us
a fortune. I mean it’s a necessity when it comes to dating, you can’t
really do anything about it. But on the other hand, you could find
the cheapest place on the earth and your friends could still complain
about how fancy the place is. They are not really concerned about
the place or the food. It’s all about just spending time. You could just
order one pizza and still have a great time.
Figure 27

45
 No heartbreaks — The best thing about having friends is that there
are no heartbreaks. No sobbing, nostaying at home because I got my
heart broken, no emotional damage. In fact, these people will help
us get over the heartbreaks. Friends are the simplest “creatures” in
the world and they don’t require an instruction manual:D
 Never lie to our face!! — The best quality of having a friend is they
won’t lie to our face no matter how bitterthe truth is. They won’t
pretend to be anything with us. There is no constant battle to save a
friendship. People in relationships often lie to save their relationship
which is never the case in a friendship. They know that the truth will
set us free rather than make us happy for the time being with a lie.
 The level of “Understanding”— No one will understand us better
than our friends. Well, they know us betterthan we know ourselves.
People in a relationship may “claim” that they know each other very
well but only our friends know the real us. They know all the
stupidities we have done over the years that are way too
embarrassing to share with anyone because they were a part of those
embarrassing moments too. They know what interests us, excites us
and emotionally wrecks us. They know us inside and out and they
always look out for us.
There are other reasons why having a friend is betterthan having a
relationship. I mean we could count on these people for a reason and they
will never fail in their responsibilities as friends. Friends are the ones who
believe in us even when the whole world is against us. They are our
emotional punchbags, the rock that keeps us grounded, the safety net we
could fall backto and for them to do all these without expecting anything
in return is the amazing part of having a friend. We don’t have to impress
anyone to become their friend and there is no recruitment process to
select a friend. It’s just a bond that happens between people whoare
willing to be at each other’s side for the rest of their life. Friendship is the
act of selfless love!!

46
Difference Between Friendship and Relationship
Definition of Friendship
The best way to describe friendship
Figure 28
is by giving a simple example. Twopeople who get to know each other
during school days, their friendship develops over time, they become really
close and know everything about each other, but due to the nature of life,
they drift apart and afterfew years meet again with the same enthusiasm.
This is because friendship is based on trust and support between two
people. There are no secrets, and individuals are free to speaktheir mind
and help other people with honesty. It, therefore, lasts for a long time
because people involved have known each other for a long time and have
been through thickand thin together. People can be friends with the ones
they like, be it of their own or different sex. Varying levels of friendship
exists too, such as best friends and best friends forever.

47
Definition of Relationship
These are different from friendships in many ways and can be of twotypes.
First one is the blood relations when people are related to each other
because of their parents, such as extended family. The other type of
relationship is the one which is termed as commitment and includes
intimacy. People get into a relationship on mutual admiration and start
depending on each other for different life matters. Individuals in a
relationship are not always free to make their own choices since they are
responsible for others and have to keep in mind what is the best option for
all the people involved. Usually, commitment is a girl and a boy, and a
relationship of blood is between families. There are no codes for a
relationship and is based on understanding that twopeople will be sincere
to each other over the course of time. It can last for a long time or people
can part ways to find a bettercompanion.
Figure 29

48
Differences in a Nutshell
 Friendship is the relationship between two individuals who do not
depend on each other for making decisions while relationship is the
way in which two people are connected toeach other.
 A relationship can be intimate friendship is never close.
 Two friends can get into a relationship with each other.
 A friendship does not need any kind of relationship to last for a long
time but relationship does require friendship to survive over a period
of time.
 Friendship does not take an extended time to develop while
relationship can take a while.
 For friendship, it is important that people get to know each other
while relationships can start without knowing the other person
accurately.
 In friendship, people are allowed to make decisions for themselves
while relationship decisions have to be taken mutually by the two
people concerned.
 Relationship can be related to blood and marriage while a friendship
does not depend on blood relationships and commitment.
 Confusing these two terms can lead to several problems between
two people.

49
 A person can be completely honest with each other in friendship
while they have to compromise on certain matters in a relationship.
Figure 30

50
Real Life Stories
1. 40 Year old Elizabeth Diamond, whowas diagnosed with an
untreatable brain cancer, madeher childhood bestfriend
Laura Ruffinopromisethat she would take care of her 4
daughters after she dies.
Figure 31
A promise, that Ruffinodid not fail to keep.
Figure 32

51
Today, Ruffinoand her husband, are busy taking care of Lily, Ella, Samona
and Tara, with full heart and devotion.
2. Gerdi McKennawas diagnosed with breastcancer and as a
side-effectto chemotherapy,shelost all her hair.
Figure 33
To support her, her 11 friends went under a drastic transformation and got
their heads shaved.
Figure 34

52
3. In the wilderness of Alaska,naturalist Casey Anderson spotted
two bear cubs weepingbesidetheir dead mother.
A big-hearted
Casey, defying to
leave the cubs to
die, brought them
with him. While
one of the cubs
could not make
it, the other one,
whom he later
named Brutus,
grew up to
become his best
friend for life.
Brutus grew up to become an integral and unlike others, a fuzzy part of his
family. He apparently enjoys swimming in his pool, and even attends
Thanksgiving family dinners.
Figure 36
Figure 35

53
So much so, that he was also the best man at Casey’s wedding with the
actress MissiPyle :’)
Figure 37
4. This little-known story of care and genuine friendship shared
between Bollywood’s very own Raj Kapoor and Hrishikesh
Mukherjee
Figure 38

54
At one point of time, Raj Kapoorhad fallen severely ill, and the plight of
his friend worried Hrishi Da so much that he started fearing for Raj
Kapoor’s life. This instigated Hrishi Da to write the script of Anand, the
movie that he eventually dedicated toRaj Kapoor.
He also dedicated the movie to Bombay, the city which gave direction to
his dreams.
5. This heart-warmingtale of friendship between aWorld WarII
veteran and a toddler, who played together all the time.
Figure 39
89-year-old World War II veteran Erling Kindem, and an almost 4-year-
old Emmett Rychnerwere best buds and some of their favourite past-time
activities included:
Playing baseballand StarWars in the backyard,Talkingabout bugs,Fixing
bikes, and Racing lawn mowers.
They were always up to something playfultogether. But, it was all dandy
until Emmett’s parents decided tosupport their growing family in a bigger
house, at some place else. And around the same time, Erling’s kids also
asked their soon to be 90-year-old dad to move to a senior apartment with
his ailing wife.
A decision that broke Earling into tears.

55
Conclusion
Friendship is undeniably important for your mental and emotional
well-being. With a solid support networkin place, you can meet just about
any challenge life throws at you. Plus, you can enjoy everything so much
more when you’re surrounded by companions who appreciate you and
truly “get” you. But what’s the definition of a true best friend? What makes
a good friendship, and how can you tell if you’re cultivating one? Without
a clear sense of what you’re looking for in your close relationships, it’s easy
to fall into unhealthydynamics and miss out on the kind of rich, loving
friendships you deserve.
We’ll explore the seven key qualities of a good friend, explaining
how to identify each and considering why each aspect is so important. As
you look through this list, considerhow you might also learn more about
how to be a good friend to the people in your life.
Figure 40

56
There are other reasons why having a friend is betterthan having a
relationship. I mean we could count on these people for a reason and they
will never fail in their responsibilities as friends. Friends are the ones who
believe in us even when the whole world is against us. They are our
emotional punchbags, the rock that keeps us grounded, the safety net we
could fall backto and for them to do all these without expecting anything
in return is the amazing part of having a friend. We don’t have to impress
anyone to become their friend and there is no recruitment process to
select a friend. It’s just a bond that happens between people whoare
willing to be at each other’s side for the rest of their life. Friendship is the
act of selfless love!!

57
Sources
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship
 https://www.liveabout.com/why-friendship-is-important-1385655
 https://www.indiacelebrating.com/essay/essay-on-importance-of-friends-in-our-life/
 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201303/fifteen-reasons-we-
need-friends
 https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/in-flux/201605/the-importance-friends
 https://ie.reachout.com/inform-yourself/family-and-friends/friendships/what-is-friendship/
 https://byrslf.co/what-is-friendship-f4a418b56258
 https://www.allaboutgod.com/true-friendship.htm
 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bottoms/201610/7-traits-true-friendship
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_Day
 https://www.indiatoday.in/education-today/gk-current-affairs/story/friendship-day-facts-
285908-2015-08-01
 https://psiloveyou.xyz/best-of-all-the-relationships-friendship-c9ea4defa9af
 https://www.difference.wiki/friendship-vs-relationship/
 http://www.thelawofattraction.com/essential-qualities-good-friend/
 https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/04/qualities-of-real-friends_n_5709821.html
 https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/g5055/friendship-quotes/
 https://www.storypick.com/real-moving-friendship-stories/
 https://jfwonline.com/article/9-celebrity-friendships-in-indian-cinema-that-will-last-a-
lifetime/
 https://www.yourtango.com/2016297869/13-winnie-pooh-quotes-about-friendship
 https://www.theodysseyonline.com/songs-to-your-best-friend.amp

58
Figure 41
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