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Miracle weightloss!
Russell Grenning
I’ve come to the conclusion – perhapssadly,evenreluctantlyanddefinitelyinevitably –that dietis
the worse of the fourletterwords.
As we getolder– well,more mature – foodgraduallyreplacessex until yougettothe stage where
youcan’t evengetintoyour ownpantsletalone anybodyelse’s. Iconsole myself byrecallingthe
wise wordsof George BernardShawwho said, “No diet will removeall thefat fromyourbody
becausethe brain is entirely fat.Without a brain,you might lookgood butall you can do is run for
public office.”
I maintainthatI am not overweightletalone obese.MyGPonlyrecentlyassertedafterhe weighed
me that I couldlose some weightandmyretortwas that, obviously,Earth’sgravitationalpull had
become muchstrongersince mylast weigh-in.Or,perhapsI’mbulimicandkeepforgettingtopurge.
The bottom line isthatthere isjustmore of me to love andthat can’t be a bad thing,canit?
Incidentally,thisisthe medicowhoprescribedpeppillswhenIconsultedhimaboutfeelinglethargic.
All theydidwasmake me eat faster.
Once upona time asI stoodat the thresholdof middle age –not yesterdayIconcede – I consulteda
dietician.Afterall,the firstconsultationwasfree soIhad nothingtolose except,perhaps,one or
twokilos perhaps surplustorequirements.She wasaveryenergeticwoman andremindedme of the
BritishactressJoyce Grenfell inthe “StTrinians”series.
I had beenalmostshamedintogoingtothisdieticianwhenaladyof my acquaintance once
remarkedthatI had the bodyof a God. My gracious acknowledgementof thisperceptivecomment
was chokedbackwhenI realisedthatshe waslookingata statuette of Buddha.
Anyhow the dieticianlady bouncedaroundwavingapointeratseveral pie chartswhich,allegedly,
purportedtoshowhow increasingage equalledincreasingweightandthus proved the urgentneed
to take sterncorrective action. I headedhome thinkingalotaboutthese pie chartsand, by some
wordassociationprocess,stoppedata bakery,boughtsix lovelyroundcustardtartsand consumed
the lot.I neverwentbackto the dietician.
Nowina breakthroughwhichwillcome asfabulousnewstothe sturdieramongus,scientistsatthe
SouthAustralianHealthandMedical ResearchInstitute have discoveredthe genewhichcauses
weightgain.It’scalledthe MNKgene and,accordingto headresearcherProfessorChrisProud,we
all have it.
He saidthat the role of thisgene inobesityandType 2 diabeteswasonlytriggeredwhenahigh-fat
dietwasconsumed.
“By working withmice thatdo nothavethe MNKgene and comparing themwith thosethatdo,we
discovered thatMNKplaysa role in obesity.With a high fat diet,the mice withouttheMNKgeneare
protected fromaccumulating high levels of body fat,developing diabetesand displaying
inflammation in their fattissue,” ProfessorProudsaid.
“We had no idea thatthey (the MNK genes) wereinvolved in obesity and Type 2 diabetes.Normally
the MNKgenesare notdoing anything bad in the body buttesting in animalmodels found thatthey
were crucial to weightgain when a high fatdiet wasconsumed,”he said.
The researchersshowedthatall three of these characteristicswere seeninthe normal mice enjoying
a highfat dietandtheyare alsoseeninmorbidlyoverweighthumans.Theyare now lookingatthe
mechanismthroughwhichMNKhasactivity and workingoutif MNK playsa role increatingnew fat
cellsorexpandingthose thatalreadyexist.
There will be lotsof experimentswithmice andProfessorProudandhisteamwill co-operate with
scientistsaroundthe worldtotry anddevelopadrug thatwill blockMNKactivityinhumans.
So,perhaps,at some time inthe future youwill be able topopan anti-fatpill theneatwhatyoulike
while slimmingdown,lookingfabulousand beingable to avoidall sortsof illnessesthatplague the
obese. Itmaymean a worldfree of dietsandfree of cripplingexercise programs.
ProfessorProuddeservesaNobel Prize,aknighthoodandanynumberof international accolades.
He evenhasa nice turn of phrase - sayingthat histeamis “working with mice” soundsso much
betterthanforce-feedingthemcustardtarts,doesn’tit?
We humanscan be a veryoddlot.It shouldn’tbe anysurprise tolearnthatcookerybooksare the
mostpopularbookssoldwhile the close secondinthe popularitystakesare dietbooks soyoucan
learnhownot to eatwhat youhave justlearned how tocook.
We can onlyhope thatthe anti-fatpill isdevelopedsoon –in the nextfortnightwouldbe timelyfor
me.

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Miracle weight loss

  • 1. Miracle weightloss! Russell Grenning I’ve come to the conclusion – perhapssadly,evenreluctantlyanddefinitelyinevitably –that dietis the worse of the fourletterwords. As we getolder– well,more mature – foodgraduallyreplacessex until yougettothe stage where youcan’t evengetintoyour ownpantsletalone anybodyelse’s. Iconsole myself byrecallingthe wise wordsof George BernardShawwho said, “No diet will removeall thefat fromyourbody becausethe brain is entirely fat.Without a brain,you might lookgood butall you can do is run for public office.” I maintainthatI am not overweightletalone obese.MyGPonlyrecentlyassertedafterhe weighed me that I couldlose some weightandmyretortwas that, obviously,Earth’sgravitationalpull had become muchstrongersince mylast weigh-in.Or,perhapsI’mbulimicandkeepforgettingtopurge. The bottom line isthatthere isjustmore of me to love andthat can’t be a bad thing,canit? Incidentally,thisisthe medicowhoprescribedpeppillswhenIconsultedhimaboutfeelinglethargic. All theydidwasmake me eat faster. Once upona time asI stoodat the thresholdof middle age –not yesterdayIconcede – I consulteda dietician.Afterall,the firstconsultationwasfree soIhad nothingtolose except,perhaps,one or twokilos perhaps surplustorequirements.She wasaveryenergeticwoman andremindedme of the BritishactressJoyce Grenfell inthe “StTrinians”series. I had beenalmostshamedintogoingtothisdieticianwhenaladyof my acquaintance once remarkedthatI had the bodyof a God. My gracious acknowledgementof thisperceptivecomment was chokedbackwhenI realisedthatshe waslookingata statuette of Buddha. Anyhow the dieticianlady bouncedaroundwavingapointeratseveral pie chartswhich,allegedly, purportedtoshowhow increasingage equalledincreasingweightandthus proved the urgentneed to take sterncorrective action. I headedhome thinkingalotaboutthese pie chartsand, by some wordassociationprocess,stoppedata bakery,boughtsix lovelyroundcustardtartsand consumed the lot.I neverwentbackto the dietician. Nowina breakthroughwhichwillcome asfabulousnewstothe sturdieramongus,scientistsatthe SouthAustralianHealthandMedical ResearchInstitute have discoveredthe genewhichcauses weightgain.It’scalledthe MNKgene and,accordingto headresearcherProfessorChrisProud,we all have it. He saidthat the role of thisgene inobesityandType 2 diabeteswasonlytriggeredwhenahigh-fat dietwasconsumed. “By working withmice thatdo nothavethe MNKgene and comparing themwith thosethatdo,we discovered thatMNKplaysa role in obesity.With a high fat diet,the mice withouttheMNKgeneare protected fromaccumulating high levels of body fat,developing diabetesand displaying inflammation in their fattissue,” ProfessorProudsaid.
  • 2. “We had no idea thatthey (the MNK genes) wereinvolved in obesity and Type 2 diabetes.Normally the MNKgenesare notdoing anything bad in the body buttesting in animalmodels found thatthey were crucial to weightgain when a high fatdiet wasconsumed,”he said. The researchersshowedthatall three of these characteristicswere seeninthe normal mice enjoying a highfat dietandtheyare alsoseeninmorbidlyoverweighthumans.Theyare now lookingatthe mechanismthroughwhichMNKhasactivity and workingoutif MNK playsa role increatingnew fat cellsorexpandingthose thatalreadyexist. There will be lotsof experimentswithmice andProfessorProudandhisteamwill co-operate with scientistsaroundthe worldtotry anddevelopadrug thatwill blockMNKactivityinhumans. So,perhaps,at some time inthe future youwill be able topopan anti-fatpill theneatwhatyoulike while slimmingdown,lookingfabulousand beingable to avoidall sortsof illnessesthatplague the obese. Itmaymean a worldfree of dietsandfree of cripplingexercise programs. ProfessorProuddeservesaNobel Prize,aknighthoodandanynumberof international accolades. He evenhasa nice turn of phrase - sayingthat histeamis “working with mice” soundsso much betterthanforce-feedingthemcustardtarts,doesn’tit? We humanscan be a veryoddlot.It shouldn’tbe anysurprise tolearnthatcookerybooksare the mostpopularbookssoldwhile the close secondinthe popularitystakesare dietbooks soyoucan learnhownot to eatwhat youhave justlearned how tocook. We can onlyhope thatthe anti-fatpill isdevelopedsoon –in the nextfortnightwouldbe timelyfor me.