2022 YEO Preconvention - Becoming LGBTQIA+ Allies

2022 YEO Preconvention
Becoming LGBTQIA+ Allies in
Rotary Youth Exchange
Dr. Terri Nicole Sawyer, LCSW
District 5420, ROTEX 1991-1992,
with special help from
Derek Sullivan, BSW, Rotary
Youth Exchange & Protection
Specialist
youth
exchange
officers

Before we start today, I want to express how mindful I was in
creating this presentation. I wanted to NOT give any ”pushy”
energy towards anyone’s feelings and beliefs or try to
persuade anyone to feel like their feelings were invalidated or
to feel like their thoughts and feelings go unheard.
Today, I want to be someone who brings love, education,
peace, awareness, and experiences of growth to the table at
this presentation. As I tell my university students, I want to
teach about the BEAUTIFUL FENCE.
Becoming LGBTQIA+ Allies in Rotary Youth Exchange

What is the BEAUTIFUL FENCE?
• The fence is a place to sit and
allow another person to be
heard and validated while your
feelings and thoughts remain
yours without being spoken.
• The fence is a place where you
know how you feel about
something and give space to the
other person to feel their own
feelings.

Assumptions in this Presentation
• All of volunteers in the Rotary Youth Exchange (RYE) programs,
committees, activities, and anyone associated with RYE want our
youth feel supported and cared for before, during, and after their
exchanges.
• All of us want to make sure that the youth feel heard and
understood in all circumstances.
• All of us want to learn more, improve, and grow with our
experiences with RYE youth and in our own personal lives.

Being an Ally • What does being an Ally mean?

5 Tips of Being
an Ally

Being an Ally
• Creating a safe space
• Be open to understand the experience of others
• Understand your own struggles
• Speak up
• Learn & seek when you don’t know (Education is a loving step!)
• Be patient with yourself – you will make mistakes & you grow through
mistakes!
• GET CURIOUS!!!
• Reference – 5 Tips of Being an Ally, https://youtu.be/_dg86g-QlM0
Retrieved May 15, 2022.

Reflection Time

Sharing Time – When has being an Ally been
difficult?
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

Resources,
Resources, and
More Resources
• Rotary Youth Exchange: Diversity,
Equity, and Inclusion in Rotary
Youth Exchange
• LGBTQIA+ Evidence Based PDF
• Rotary Youth Exchange Staff
• Other Allies
Copyright – Dr. Terri Sawyer

I wanted to get
curious about how
our past RYE
students felt about
LGBTQIA+
interactions such as
inclusion, exclusion,
feeling validated or
supported, or
learning prejudice on
their exchange. I was
EXTRA curious about
how they felt about
the Rotarians
interacted with them
on their exchanges
too!

The Survey
• First – GRATITUDE!
• Second – 513 responses, 512 ROTEX and 1 Host Parent
• Third – 99% completion rate!

•What is Qualitative Coding?
•Qualitative coding is a process of
categorizing responses in the survey
to find themes and patterns.
Qualitative
Coding

Emergent Themes
Exclusion
Inclusion
Supported
Validated
Prejudice
Educated/Something learn
Labeled Inappropriately
Inspired Personal Change

Question 1

Question 2

Question 3

Question 4

Question 5

Question 6 - How has your exchange experience impacted
your understanding of gender identity and sexuality? Please be specific.

Question 7 - How did you meet people with gender
identities and sexualities different than your own during your
exchange? Please be specific.

Question 8- How has your language around gender identity and
sexuality evolved or changed as a result of your exchange? Please be specific.
• I learned new vocabulary around different gender identities and sexualities, mainly due to my own research on
the topic. I also discovered, that there isn‘t really a gender neutral pronoun in the German language (my host
language), which I find problematic, because I don’t know how to refer to a non-binary person in German nor
how to talk inclusively about all genders. You cant talk about an issue without the vocabulary.
• Broadly, exchange expanded my knowledge of identities and cultures differently than my own and taught me to
be flexible and adaptive. These skilled prepared to adapt my speech as language has evolved/progressed
rapidly in the last five years.
• I have become aware of more identities and never try to assume. I learn that in gender and sexuality there
sometimes isn’t always a perfect word that can describe an identity. Like with me, I identify as bi but
sometimes sometimes use gay or queer to describe myself (I’ve been in a gay relationship for a while and
sometimes when I say I’m bi people assume I need more than one partner) I also have a relative and friend
transitioning. I’ve learned with them that while figuring what they picture themselves as they don’t have
female/male pronouns. My friend while transitioning they had they/them pronouns for a while and once
transitioned and comfortable in themselves they changed to she/her

Question 9- How did your sending district support those
who identify as LGBTQIA+?
• They really supported everyone to be themselves and told that if something goes wrong, we can always
contact them
• I feel they were open minded to it, and know that they wanted to partner with receiving districts they
knew our bounds would be safe and thrive in
• They supported them like they would support anyone else, there was no difference
• Note – Out of 505, 16 responses included positive ways their sending district giving support to those who
identify as LGBTQIA+

Question 10- How did your hosting district support those
who identify as LGBTQIA+?
• Very well! Noone had any issue with openly queer couples. My district didn't go to the pride in Taipei city,
but many other districts went (with Rotary)
• my host parents and rotarians were very open and supporting, peobably half of the other rotarians too
but there surely were ones too which didnt support it, especially the very old or very religiously
conservative rotarians
• My district was very open and inclusive, always interested in supporting our identities. There were not all
that many conversations about LGBT+ topics because it honestly didn't come up very much, but I was
never made to feel uncomfortable about any conversations surrounding gender identity or sexual
orientation.
• They are very keen and helpful toward them, they treat them like "normal" people and do not emphasize
on "ohh he is gay he/she/they are the different one of the group" and I found that really awesome
• Note – Out of 503 responses, 17 responses included positive ways their hosting district giving support
who identify as LGBTQIA+

Question 11-On your exchange, describe a time when you saw a Rotary Youth
Exchange volunteer show acceptance and/or support to a LGBTQIA+ Rotary Youth Exchange
student. If you saw or experienced none, write N/A in the comment box
• Being trans myself, there were lots of little moments that really stood out to me. Such as when asking us queer inbounds
about our personal lives back home, if they were talking about romantic partners it was always gender neutral (they never
assumed sexuality). Or how both with me and other trans kids I had talked to who had been hosted in that district were
immediately accepted and all the rotary members immediately used preferred pronouns/treated us as the gender we identify
with.
• My host mother, who was a member of my Rotary club, openly discussed my sexuality with me and affirmed it in no uncertain
terms. Moreover, as a gift for my journey back to Florida, she asked a best friend to give me a manicure.
• My host family and my host club were both very comprehensive because I was out from the day I arrived and no one reacted
or treated me any different.
• My co-ordinator at home was a very accepting and loving person. I never saw her engage with queerness explicitly but I feel
confident she would have been accepting and loving
• Note - Out of 498 responses, 42 responses included times when a RYE volunteer showed acceptance and/or support to a
LGBTQIA+ RYE youth.

Question 12-On your exchange, describe a time when you saw exclusion
and/or prejudice to a LGBTQIA+ Rotary Youth Exchange student. If you saw or experienced none,
write N/A in the comment box.
• Mostly, the Rotary exchange student culture highly valued straightness, whiteness, partying, masculinity etc. and I
felt uncomfortable and unsafe at times (even as a white woman) due to this culture while on my Eurotour Rotary
trip for example. It felt like the queer students were othered and there was pressure to conform to gender norms
and ideals, as well as romantic/sexual norms and ideals.
• At a Christmas party hosted by a former District Governor of my district, the host looked at my fingernails which
were painted bright pink and told me “You know you can’t be gay right? That’s not allowed.” I was incredibly
shocked by this incident and was unable to report it. Another time, a member of my host club drunkenly grabbed
my manicured hand and started yelling “Oh beautiful woman! So gorgeous! Please marry me!”
• Exclusion is the biggest problem. While on exchange, before and after as well, myself and the other LGBTQ
students often felt as if we must be in the closet again. I had a host family try to get me sent home when they
found out. The LGBTQ students in my district, we all felt very uncomfortable with that part of ourselves.

Question 13-On your exchange, describe a time when you felt like a Rotary
Youth Exchange volunteer did not understand or lacked knowledge in how to interact with a
LGBTQIA+ person. If you saw or experienced none, write N/A in the comment box.
• I witnessed constant ignorant comments about LGBT+ people and issues by Rotarians and Host Families.
However, I think that it is important to understand the time and cultural context. I was on exchange in
XXXXX over 5 years ago, in a very catholic, conservative country and society. I am hopeful that things have
become more progressive today.
• It felt like every orientation, pre- and during exchange, completely overlooked the fact that LGBTQ+
people exist. I got the sense, both in my home and host district, that it was never conceived that a queer
man could hold the role of exchange student. So many rules and recommendations were based on
heterosexist and gender normative views, e.g., that a male exchange student and a female exchange
student were not allowed to be in a room alone
• Yes. I think given the demographic of many Rotary Youth Exchange volunteers, many just don't know how
to interact with LGBTQIA+ students. I did witness some misgendering from from my sending district, but I
don't think that was intentional. I just wish they made a bit more of an effort.

Question 14-Thank you for participating in this survey. Your answers are
important to help build inclusion and understanding. If you have anything else you would like to
share, please write it in the box.
• I'm really happy to see you doing this survey. I hope times have changed, as I delayed my own identity for the year I
was an exchange student. While I wasn't worried for my safety, there was a culture of casual prejudice, and it was not
conducive to being openly LGBTQIA+ let alone being supported or celebrated.
• I do think things have changed since my time on exchange. In general, I think there is more knowledge among the RYE
committees and more willingness to listen. Also, there are more queer young adults getting involved on the district
level. I think there are also more queer youth that are coming out at younger ages than I was. I think during my time
there was just less students who were out so it wasn't something the committees were thinking about.
• I want to stress that while my understanding of my own identity began to change during my exchange, I did not come
out until several years later, so I was not directly exposed to discrimination or support personally.
• Note – There were MANY thanks and gratitude expressed for the survey.

What tools
do you
need to be
an Ally?

Let’s
build your
toolbox!!

Becoming An Ally – Building Your Toolbox
• Building Materials (What knowledge do you need?) -
• Measuring Tape (How much empathy do you need to express?) –
• Pencil (Write out any feelings of difficult emotions you can experience helping LGBTQIA+
RYE Youth need.) –
• Speed Square (Where are you being too square?) –
• Nails (Where can you help LGBTQIA+ RYE Youth feel secure?) –
• Clamp (Where can you help clamp out prejudice and teach others knowledge?) -

Becoming An Ally – Building Your Toolbox
• Saw (Where can you saw off false, bias, or prejudice information to find evidence-based research
and information about LGBTQIA+ youth?) -
• Safety Glasses (How can you keep eyes seeing prejudice and unjust treatment and fight it?) –
• Drill (What do you want to “fastened down” in your RYE program to help support LGBTQIA+ RYE
youth?) -
• Sandpaper (Where do you need to smooth out any roughness in your self-examination of how
you interact with LGBTQIA+ youth?) -
• Hammer (How can you hammer out any prejudice and unjust judgment of LGBTQIA+ youth?) -

Reflection Time
& Questions?

Gratitude

Contact Info:
Dr. Terri Nicole Sawyer, LCSW & CFLE
1-801-458-6996
terrinicole@msn.com

2022 YEO Preconvention - Becoming LGBTQIA+ Allies

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2022 YEO Preconvention - Becoming LGBTQIA+ Allies