66 day challenge

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Picture credit - ​SCMP
Day 49 - Coping with emotions
28 May 2020
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Prabodh Sirur
sirurp@gmail.com
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My learning for the day
Today I want to summarise two books on the topic of coping with emotions.
Thanks ​Marcel Schwantes​ for ​12 Must-Read Books That Will Raise Your
Emotional Intelligence
Book 1 - ​The Book of Human Emotions
Author - Tiffany Watt Smith
Summary - ​Review​ by ​Lisa Feldman Barrett
Do you have the ​heebie-jeebies​? Are you antsy with ​iktsuarpok​? Are you
filled with ​nakhes​? Is cheerfulness and ​gezelligheid​ the same? How do you
present yourself to a new group when you are ​Nginyiwarrarringu​?
The author takes us through an amazing journey of ‘emotions’ covering ​156
emotions​ (some examples of unique emotions - ​Toska​ - a longing with
nothing to long for, ​basorexia​ - sudden urge to kiss someone, ​iktsuarpok - ​a
feeling of anticipation while waiting for someone to arrive, often leading to
intermittently going outside to check for them, ​Torschlusspanik​ - gate
closing panic, ​awumbuk​ - A feeling you get when you say goodbye to the last
guest, close the door and survey your empty home, ​schadenfreude​ -
enjoying someone’s misfortune)
Some of these emotions ​exist in modern Western culture​ today, but don’t
mean the same thing as they did in the past.
Some of the emotions are ​not translatable into English​ with a single word,
so it requires conceptual combination.
The Scottish Gaelic dictionary describes ​49 shades of ‘sadness’​. The Pintupi
tribe of Australia have words for ​15 kinds of fear​.
The more emotions you have in your vocabulary, the ​more emotionally
intelligent​ you’ll be.
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Book 2 -​ ​Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Author - ​Travis Bradberry​ and ​Jean Greaves
Summary - ​Review​ by ​Kim Tasso
EQ​ (Emotional Quotient) is so critical to success that it ​accounts for 58% of
performance​ in all types of jobs.
‘Emotional Intelligence 2.0’ delivers a step-by-step program for increasing
your EQ via four, core EQ skills that enable you to achieve your fullest
potential - Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, Relationship
Management
It explains how to deal with emotions creatively and employ our intelligence
in a beneficial way.
One of the advantages of this book is that it comes with an authorization
code to undertake an ​on-line assessment​ of your emotional intelligence.
This helps you to develop your EQ action plan.
The other advantage of the book is that it focuses on providing ​66 simple,
practical exercises​ to help you develop your chosen area (self-awareness,
self-management, social awareness, relationship management).
Some useful stats from the book
- Only 35% of people tested are able to accurately identify their emotions as
they happen
- 90% of the high performers are also high in EQ
- Middle managers have the highest EQ scores in the workforce, with CEOs
with the lowest
- American executives averaged 15 points lower than Chinese executives in
self-management and relationship management
- The authors observed an increase in EQ across the US population (from
13.7% with high EQ skills in 2003 to 18.3% in 2007), it declined in 2008 – ​the
start of the recession
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My learning so far on this topic
Day 9 post​ - Plutchik wheel of emotions and ways to cope with emotions
Day 19 post​ - Association of emotions with endocrine system, the Chakras
and the Yoga postures
Day 29 post​ - Learning from an RJ (Radio Jockey)
Day 39 post​ - Two TED talks - The gift and power of emotional courage & Why
we all need to practice emotional first aid
What is Coping with emotions?
Emotions are biological states brought on by thoughts, feelings, behavioural
responses, and a degree of pleasure or displeasure.
The basic emotions are
1. joy/ sadness,
2. acceptance/ disgust,
3. fear/ anger,
4. surprise/ anticipation.
The word "emotion" dates back to 1579, when it was adapted from the French word
émouvoir, which means "to stir up". Emotions create responses in the brain called
feelings.
Coping with emotions is -
a. understanding the patterns of emotions,
b. understanding our responses to emotions and
c. taking corrective and preventive actions
How to improve this skill?
Set a goal to ​become a go-to person​ by mastering the art and science of ​coping
with emotions​.
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Follow the ​LAST model​ to build your personal brand as a Guru of ​coping with
emotions​.
Learn​ - Invest time in learning different frameworks/ models/ techniques of ​coping
with emotions
Apply​ -
Identify a model suitable to you
Create a template to document the flow of the process
Find opportunities to use the selected method/ template
Maintain record/ process flow of every important activities you did with
respect to ​coping with emotions
Maintain notes of your thoughts/ insights/ failures/ challenges…. to be used
for sharing/ training others
Share​ - Share the insights captured in step 2 above in a planned manner (social
media posts, blogs, videos, study notes…)
Train​ - Generate opportunities to train your peers and team members so that, over
time, your organization benefits from your efforts
Purpose of this document
I took a 66 day challenge​ to study Life Skills last year (10 April 2019). To my
astonishment, I succeeded in studying for 66 days one skill a day.
My objectives of learning these skills were - To strengthen my mind to face life’s
challenges with ease, To use these skills in my worklife for a better performance, To
use these skills in my personal life for enriching my relationships, To open new
possibilities to surprise myself.
This is my next 66 day challenge​ (from 10 April 2020) - To share my Life Skills
learning with my social media friends.
I pray that my toil helps you in your success journey.
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What are Life Skills?
UNICEF​ defines Life skills as - ​psychosocial abilities​ for adaptive and positive
behaviour that enable individuals ​to deal effectively with the demands and
challenges of everyday life​. They are loosely grouped into three broad categories
of skills
- cognitive skills​ for analyzing and using information,
- personal skills​ for developing personal agency and managing oneself,
- inter-personal skills​ for communicating and interacting effectively with others.
Which LifeSkills are covered?
The ​World Health Organisation​ identified these basic areas of life skills that are
relevant across cultures:
1. Decision-making
2. Problem-solving
3. Creative thinking
4. Critical thinking
5. Communication
6. Interpersonal skills
7. Self-awareness
8. Empathy
9. Coping with emotions
10. Coping with stress.
Some trivia
‘Life skills’ was never part of the school curriculum. WHO/ UNESCO mandated
academia to teach these skills in all schools across the globe in 1993.
Different countries educate their children in these skills with different objectives
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- Zimbabwe and Thailand - prevention of HIV/AIDS
- Mexico - prevention of adolescent pregnancy
- United Kingdom - child abuse prevention
- USA - prevention of substance abuse and violence
- South Africa and Colombia - positive socialization of children.
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