required feedback.

1. Client Feedback – 5th
of Dec
Pink – Fix, Red – Good.
 Grammar error – Pg 1 – apart from instead of aside
 Word choice – Pg 1 - School to college
 Word choice – Pg 1 – removewords.
 Duality/Contradiction of protag’s personality, chaos and tidiness – Pg 1
 Less words – Pg 1 – To check who the messageis from
 Word choice – Pg 1 – No need for quickly
 Addition of detail – Pg 1 - Where is phonesat
 Addition of detail - Pg 2 – What is the safe spaceto protag
 Grammar and Word choice – Pg 2 – Better describe GT
 Good description of the nice SafeSpace – Pg 2
 Clarification – Pg 3 – They look shocked
 Clarification – Pg 3 – Crowding and advantage?
 Less words – Pg 3 – Shadow 4
 Clarification – Pg 4 – Fringe
 Successfully indicating what people do when they need to reassure
themselves and self soothe – Pg 4
 Addition of detail – Pg 4 – Ping back to reality
 Clarification – Pg 5 – Stay awakea bit longer
 Clarification – Pg 5 – Focus moreon protag
 Clarification – Pg 5 – Whatis the roomlayout, whereis the mirror and
lightswitch
Client Feedback - 6th
of Dec
 Addition of detail – General - Scene 1, Scene 2, etc. each time you
change location
 Adjustment– General - Moveall text and non-spoken dialogueto the
side, it goes in the description and the middle (that includes the
subtitles/bubbled words of the GTs and SP)