I wrote this guide while i was interning at Valley Trauma Center to help survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence, rape and abuse.

1. Prepared by Kasandra M. Holland for
Valley Trauma Center
a
Chartered Center of the Michel D. Eisner
College of Education
California State University Northridge

2. __________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
36

3. __________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
35
Hello;
If you are reading this handbook right now it probably
means that you or somebody you love has been affected by
Domestic Violence, Sexual Violence, or Abuse, we want you
to know we are here to help.
The first thing we want to make clear is that you are not at
blame for the behavior of another person. You did not cause
what happened to you despite what others may say or think.
We believe you and want to support you.
Secondly, and very important for those of you living in this
country without the correct legal papers, you are still
entitled to a full investigation, resources and services
because you have reported being a survivor of a crime to the
authorities.
Right now there are probably many things going through
your mind and you might be experiencing a range of
emotions. Our trained staff wants to assist you in getting any
questions you have answered and any needs you have met
with the available resources in the community.
As you read on, remember you are not alone.

4. Our Philosophy ……………………………………
Advocacy ……………………………………..………
Options When Assaulted ……………..………
Legal Rights …………………………………………
Systems Response ……………………….………
Medical Examinations …………………………
Survivor’s Rights …………………………………
Myths vs. Reality ………………………....………
Feelings ……………………………………….………
Healing ………………………………………..………
Family and Friends ……………………..………
Teens and Minors ………………………..………
Males …………………………………………..………
LGBTQ …………………………………………………
Intellectual Disabilities ……………….………
Elders ………………………………………….………
Domestic Violence ……………………………….
Safety Tools……………………………….………..
Resources ……………………………………………
Notes …………………………………………………...
34
1
2
3
4-5
6-7
8-10
11
12-13
14-15
16-17
18-19
20-21
22-23
24
25
26
27-28
29
30-33
35-36

5. HOTLINES
Valley Trauma Center Crisis Hotline
Phone: 1-818-886-0453
Phone: 1-661-253-0258
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
(RAINN)
Phone: 1-800-656-4653
Peace Over Violence
Phone: 1-626-793-3385
Elder Abuse Hotline
Phone: 1-877-477-3646
SUICIDE PREVENTION
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
Text Telephone: 1-800-799-4889
DATING ABUSE
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
Phone:1-866-331-9474
L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center
Phone: 1-323-860-5806
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
Text Telephone: 1-800-787-3224
CHILD ABUSE
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
Phone: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
Carry this resource card with you
in your wallet.
33
Important Phone Numbers
Valley Trauma Center 24-Hour Hotline
Phone: 1-818-886-0453
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
__________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
__________________________________
Things to Remember
o You are not alone.
o You have rights.
o An advocate can be there for you to support
you and provide you with information.
o You are strong, and will get through this.
o Call Valley Trauma Center for help.
Valley Trauma Center 24-Hour Hotline
Phone: 1-818-886-0453
The cards on this page are for you to cut out and carry with you.
Carry this card with you and write
down numbers you need.

6. Valley Trauma Center is a multicultural organization that
serves people of all socio-economic and ethnic background,
youth and children, men, those who are deaf or hard of
hearing, the LGBTQ community, elderly, physically or
developmentally disabled, and recent immigrants.
Valley Trauma Center counseling, crisis intervention
services, and prevention education programs are available
in Spanish and English; other languages are offered when
available.
"Interpersonal violence can affect anyone. No one should
suffer alone. If you have been assaulted, you have the right to
information and support. We are here to help."
We use the word “survivor” instead
of victim because we honor the
strength and courage of all survivors
of sexual, physical, and emotional
violence. There is no right or wrong
way to heal or deal with being
abused, but we want you to know
that you are not alone.
132

7. The survivor's right to have an advocate present from the
beginning of the investigation to case closure is a matter of public
policy in the State of California and is protected under state law:
Penal Code Section 679.04 (a) it provides that a survivor of sexual
assault has a right to have a victim advocate and a support
person of the survivor's choosing present at any interview by
Law Enforcement Authorities, District Attorneys or Defense
Attorneys, and during any medical or physical examinations.
In addition to meeting survivors at hospitals, advocates can go
with survivors to Law Enforcement Agencies, District Attorney
offices, court hearings and other social services. In other words,
the advocate will provide support throughout the entire
process, if that's what the survivor wants.
Advocates help survivors by providing emotional support,
information, and support services offered by Valley Trauma
Center which includes: individual and group counseling.
All of Valley Trauma Center’s Rape Crisis Advocates are
community-based volunteers. Each has completed a sixty-hour
State Certified Sexual Assault Training and also takes part in eight
sexual assault workshops each year. Advocates are able to
answer, or get the answer to many important questions that may
come up for the survivor.
Advocacy services are availably 24 hours a day,
seven days a week to survivors of all ages.
Please turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a list of
important phone numbers of organizations/agencies, and wallet
size cards that you can cut out and carry with you.
Counseling
San Fernando Valley Counseling Center: Northridge
Services offered for children
Phone: 1-818-341-1111
Valley Coordinated Children’s Center: Reseda
Website: http://www.valleyccc.org/
Services offered for children and services offered in Spanish
Phone: 1-818-708-4500
Family Stress Center: North Hills
Website: http://www.childguidance.org/
Services offered for children and services offered in Spanish
Phone: 1-818-830-0200
Dating Abuse
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
Website: http://www.ndah.org/
Phone: 1-866-331-9474
L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center
Website: www.laglc.org/
Services offered in Spanish
Phone: 1-323-860-5806
GLBTQ: domestic violence project
Website: http://gmdvp.org/
Phone: 1-800-832-1901
Others
Center for Assault Treatment Services (CATS)
Website: www.abuse-assaultservices.org
Phone: 818-908-8630
Van Nuys Community Police Station
Phone: 1-818-374-9500
Homeless Shelters: LA Homeless Service Authority
Phone: 1-800-548-6047
Phone: 1-866-331-9474
MEND: Meet Each Need With Respect
Website: http://mendpoverty.org/
Foodbank/Employment
Phone: 1-818-897-8443 or 1-818-896-0246
California HIV/AIDS Hotline
Website: http://cdcnpin.org/ca/
Services offered in Spanish
Phone: 1-800-367-2437
Survivor’s Legal Rights
Phone: 1-866-END-ABUSE (1-866-426-8724)
East Los Angeles Women’s Center
Website: http://elawc.org/
Services offered in Spanish
Phone: 1-800-585-6231
312

8. 30
There are many options and choices you may have to face after
being sexually assaulted or abused, but we are here to help, and
want you to know that you are not alone.
What are some of my options?
 Get medical attention, including a sexual assault
forensic exam (See Medical Examinations pages)
 Contact Valley Trauma Center or the Center for
Assault Treatment Services to know your options
and steps to begin the recovery process.
 Contact local law enforcement or local rape crisis
centers to report the crime and start the recovery
process (See Resources pages).
 Contact a trusted family member or friend for
emotional support through this hard time.
 Report the assault or abuse, and choosing to press
charges. Even though a police report may be filed,
and evidence collected, that does not mean charges
will be filed against the attacker. Although, cases
involving sexual violence may be pursued by the
state, regardless of the survivors decision.
 You can receive counseling and emotional support
from an advocate throughout the recovery process.
Use this handbook as a helpful guide to help you make
Hotlines
Valley Trauma Center Crisis Hotline
Website: http://www.csun.edu/vtc/
Services offered in Spanish
San Fernando Valley Phone: 1-818-886-0453
Santa Clarita Valley Phone: 1-661-253-0258
The California Department of Aging
Website: http://www.aging.ca.gov/
Services offered in Spanish
Phone: 1-800-231-4024
National Sexual Assault Hotline
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN)
Website: http://www.rainn.org/
Services offered in Spanish
Phone: 1-800-656-4653
Peace Over Violence
Website: http://peaceoverviolence.org/
Populations served: Deaf, Elderly, LGBTQ, Men, Teens, and Spanish Speaking
Phone: 1-626-793-3385, 1-310-392-8381
TTY: 1-213-955-9095
Teen Line
Website: http://teenlineonline.org/
Phone: 1-800-TLC-Teen (1-800-852-8336)
Suicide Prevention
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) Spanish: 1-888-628-9454
TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799 4889)
Suicide Prevention Center
Website: http://www.didihirsch.org/spc
Phone: 1-877-727-4747 or 1-310-391-1253
Domestic Violence
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Website: http://www.thehotline.org/
Services offered in Spanish
Phone: 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
TTY: 1-800-787-3224
Break the Cycle: Domestic violence education/services for teens
Website: http://www.breakthecycle.org/
Phone: 1-888-988-TEEN (1-888-988-8336)
3

9.  Always walk at a good pace; look alert and confident, try
not to carry objects that make you use both arms.
 Stay away from isolated areas, day or night.
 Never walk alone when it is dark.
 If you are being followed, get away fast, change
directions, and walk or run to a crowded area.
 Lock all doors to your car and residence at all times.
 Before you drive home, call your roommate, family or a
friend so they will expect you and be aware if you are
excessively late.
 Encourage group activities in early stages of a
relationship.
 Take a self-defense class.
 Know your sexual desires and limits, and talk about them
clearly.
 Try not to use excessive drugs and alcohol.
 Be aware of your surroundings.
 Carry a cell phone on you at all times and a list of
important phone numbers. (Turn to the Resources pages
for a card you can cut out and carry with you).
 Tell someone that you trust, if you do not feel
comfortable.
As a survivor of sexual assault or violence, you have
many rights that you should know of. The legal rights
that are listed below are a few of the ones that may
help you make the best choice possible for you to get
the right care or help that you may need or want.
Remember, you do not have to go through the
reporting process alone, advocates can support you.
 To be treated with fairness and respect for his or her privacy
and dignity, and to be free from intimidation, harassment, and
abuse, throughout the criminal or juvenile justice process
(California Constitution Article I, 28).
 The right to an advocate. Survivor advocates can help you
with the following:
(1) Explaining what information you are allowed to get while
legal action is waiting to be completed.
(2) Help you in applying for repayment to pay you back for
crime-related losses.
(3) Talking with the prosecution.
(4) Helping you in getting survivor support services.
(5) Helping you prepare a victim impact statement before an
offender is sentenced (Penal Code 679.08).
 To have privacy with the rape crisis counselor or advocate
(Penal Code 1035-1036.2).
 To decline an interview or phone interview (Marsy's Law).
 To change or add to your first statement that you gave, as you
start to remember details more clearly.
 To ask law enforcement if a DNA profile was obtained from the
testing of the rape kit evidence (Penal Code 680).
294

10.  To not allow personal information or records to be given to
the defendant, the defendant's attorney, or any other person
that has to do with the defendant, which could be used to
locate or harass the survivor or the survivor's family (Marsy’s
Law).
 Do nothing.
You can also learn more about your rights by calling Survivor’s
Legal Rights at 1-866-426-8724.
What should I know?
If you choose to speak with a rape crisis counselor or advocate,
they can talk with you in more detail about these rights, as well
as other rights you have as a survivor of an assault.
The choice to report the crime to police, or not, is an individual
one. Some people choose to report an assault or rape right away,
some do not report it at all, and some change their minds and
decide to report the assault later on. It is important for you to
know that if you choose to go to an emergency room, or medical
provider, they are mandated to call law enforcement if they think
you have been sexually assaulted. This does not mean you have
to report the crime or help them with the investigation.
Although, you can choose to exercise your rights and allow
yourself to take back the control that was taken from you, and
decide to report the crime to try and bring the offender to
justice.
It is also important to know that the district attorney has the
right to decide to proceed with the case, based on looking at the
evidence that is collected, and deciding if he or she feels the
offender will be found guilty “beyond a reasonable doubt” by a
jury.
A choice not to file charges against the offender does not mean the
D.A. does not believe you, and you can talk to them about
your concerns and know the reasons why a case was not
filed.
528
SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Your Inner Thoughts and
Feelings:
Your Partner’s Belittling and
Controlling Behavior:
Do you:
feel afraid of your partner much
of the time?
Does your partner:
embarrass you, yell at you, or put you
down?
avoid certain topics out of fear of
angering your partner?
act very jealous and possessive? And
try and control where you go and what
you do?
feel that you can’t do anything
right for your partner?
limit your access to money, the phone,
or the car? or keep you from seeing
friends and family?
believe that you deserve to be
hurt or mistreated?
ignore or put down your opinions or
accomplishments?
wonder if you’re the one who is
crazy?
blame you for their own abusive
behavior?
feel emotionally numb or
helpless?
see you as property or a sex object,
rather than as a person? And constantly
check up on you?
How do I know if I am in an abusive relationship?
To decide if your relationship is abusive, look at the chart below,
and the more you answer “yes” to the questions that are being
asked, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.
Where can I get help?
In the Valley, the Center for Assault Treatment Services (CATS) is
available to you. Please turn to page 10 to learn about the
organization CATS, and what they offer.
It is important to know that you are not alone, and if you are even
questioning your relationship, you can call CATS or Valley Trauma
Center for help.
Please turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a list of
important phone numbers and organizations/agencies, and wallet
size cards that you can cut out and carry with you.

11. 276
This pattern can happen many times in an abusive relationship.
Each stage lasts a different amount of time. The total cycle can
take a few hours or up to a year or more to complete. It is
important to know that not all domestic violence relationships
fit this pattern. Often, as time goes on, the 'making-up' and
'calm' stages disappear.
Adapted from the original concept of: Walker, Lenore. The Battered Woman. New York: Harper and
Row, 1979.
What can happen in domestic violence relationships?What is the order of events in a criminal proceeding if I
report the crime?
 A crime report is filed with law enforcement.
 A detective is assigned to your case, and may contact you.
 A detective conducts investigation by interviewing any
witnesses and searching the scene of the crime.
 Abuser(s) is identified, and you may look at mug shots or
create a composite picture. A composite picture is a sketch
of what you remember the abuser(s) to look like. You also
may be asked to pick out the abuser in a line-up of people.
 Law Enforcement presents the case to the District Attorney.
 District Attorney may interview survivor.
 District Attorney decides whether or not there is enough
admissible evidence to file charges on the case.
 Abuser(s) is arraigned in Municipal Court.
 If the abuser(s) pleads “not guilty”, a preliminary hearing is
set. You may be subpoenaed (required) to appear and the
hearing should take place ten days after the abuser is
arrested.
 The Municipal judge will decide if there is enough evidence
for a trial. The case may go to Superior Court.
 The abuser(s) is arraigned in Superior Court or if he/she
pleads guilty they are charged and sentenced.
 Jury trial, you will most likely be asked to testify as a
witness for the People for the State of California.
 Acquittal and Sentencing.
 The District Attorney may inform you of your right to write
or read aloud a Victim Impact Statement, where you talk
about how the assault has affected your life.

12. Being a survivor that is elderly, you may have thought
that this could never happen to you, but it is
important for you to know that you did nothing to
lead on, or cause an attack. Anger and power are what
motivates the attacker. As a senior survivor, you may
have specific needs and feelings that are different than
others. Do not let this stop you from getting the care
that you deserve.
Where can I go to get help?
Elder sexual abuse goes under reported too often, and we want
you to know that you have rights and there are resources and
advocates that want to help you.
Any type of traumatic experience may make you feel like you have
loss of control, loss of dignity, or may cause loss of sleep because
of all the different thoughts and feelings you are having. This is a
normal reaction and counseling can help you deal with these
feelings in a caring and supportive environment.
WISE & Healthy Aging- Canoga Park
Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program- CRISIS line: 1-800-231-4024
This agency investigates elder abuse and complaints in long term
care facilities and residential care facilities.
Who can I contact to get help or to report abuse?
Elder Abuse Hotline: 1-877-477-3646
Adult Protective Services: 1-213- 351-5401
Please turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a list of
important phone numbers and organizations/agencies, and wallet
size cards that you can cut out and carry with you.
726
How can I protect myself?
A restraining order makes it illegal for a person to be
involved in certain behaviors, or requires that they fulfill
certain requirements. The rules of a restraining order will
depend upon the jurisdiction of the issuing court as well as
the choice of the judge who authorizes it.
Emergency Protective Order- Issued by Law Enforcement
for up to 5 days.
Temporary Restraining Order- issued by civil court for 21
days.
Criminal Protective Order- issued by criminal court for up
to 5 years.
Anyone 12 years or older may apply for a Temporary
Restraining Order (TRO). Teens do not need the consent of
their parents to apply for protection. Someone applying for a
TRO must have experienced abuse recently, usually within
the past month. Immigration status does not affect a person’s
eligibility for a restraining order.
What are the numbers to the local law enforcement?
Van Nuys Community Police Station: 1-818-374-9500
To provide anonymous tips, text CRIMES (274637) on your
cell phone and begin the text message with the letters LAPD,
and continue the text with the time, place, what happened, a
description of the criminal, and any other information you
want to give.
Also, you can submit an anonymous tip anytime, anywhere,
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, by calling 1-800-222-TIPS
(1-800-222-8477).

13. As a survivor who has a disability, you may feel alone or
afraid that no one will believe you, but there are many
resources where you can find help. People with
disabilities can experience many forms of sexual assault
and violence, including:
 Unwanted or forced sexual activity
 Unwanted exposure or touching during personal care
 Forced abortion or pregnancy
 Caregiver abuse
How can advocates or counselor’s be helpful in my
healing process?
Advocates and counselors can provide emotional support and
listen to your concerns. They can also give referrals to other
agencies based on your specific needs, and give you information
about your rights and privacy, and tools to prevent and stop
abuse.
What should I know?
 Only three percent of sexual abuses involving people with
developmental disabilities are ever reported.
 You have a right to be safe and any type of violence or
abuse is not your fault.
 A senior or adult with disabilities who needs help can locate a
Legal Services Project by calling the local Area Agency on
Aging-Los Angeles at 1-800-510-2020.
Please turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a list of
important phone numbers and organizations/agencies, and
wallet size cards that you can cut out and carry with you.
258
According to the Federal Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)
2005, individuals who identify as survivors of sexual assault have
two federal rights:
 The right to a Sexual Assault Forensic Medical Exam at no
cost to the survivor/patient.
 To be provided with a Sexual Assault Forensic Medical Exam
without any need to cooperate with law enforcement or to
be a part of any legal action.
Certain hospitals are designated Sexual Assault Response Team
(SART). In the Valley, the Center of Assault Treatment Services
(CATS), is where staff are trained to collect the best evidence and
help simplify the reporting process. The team members are trained
to be sensitive to the different needs and feelings of the survivor,
and SART hospitals have a shorter waiting time to get medical care.
A Sexual Assault Response Team is made up of:
(1) A sexual assault forensic examiner or nurse examiner who
does a sexual assault forensic medical examination and
provides medical care.
(2) A law enforcement officer who carries out a full investigation
and provides emergency help.
(3) A rape crisis counselor/advocate who provides emotional
support, advocacy, and access to survivor support services.
They are there to support you and answer questions or
concerns that you may have, as well as information and
further action. They can also offer you follow-up care, as well
as counseling and help with law enforcement concerns and
future legal issues.

14. As a survivor that is part of the LGBTQ community,
you can expect the same emotional responses, but
may have concerns about how you will be treated
because of your sexual orientation. Whether you
choose to disclose your sexual orientation or not,
you have the right to get the same sensitive
treatment as anyone else.
Where can I get help?
Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center. L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's
STOP Partner Abuse/Domestic Violence Program provides partner
abuse and domestic violence services designed to address the
specific and unique needs of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender communities.
GLBTQ domestic violence
project was created to help and
support survivors of domestic
violence, focusing on the LGBTQ
community, to increase access to
culturally competent services.
What should I know?
Same-sex abusers use a form of abuse like heterosexual abusers, but
they also have an additional weapon in the threat of “outing” their
partner about their sexual orientation to family, friends, employers,
or community.
Advocates that work within LGBTQ communities focus on having
supportive and loving relationships that are positive.
Please turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a list of
important phone numbers of organizations/agencies, and wallet
size cards that you can cut out and carry with you.
924
(4) A Deputy District Attorney whose job it is to prosecute
felony violations of the law in the courts of Los Angeles
County. They normally become involved in the case after
law enforcement officers have collected the evidence.
What should I know?
 The evidence exam does not test for sexually transmitted
diseases or infections, so it is important to follow up with
your doctor.
 You may choose not to report the crime to law
enforcement, but medical personnel are required by law to
contact law enforcement if they suspect a sexual assault has
happened.
 When the police arrive, you can choose not to make a police
report, but having the forensic exam performed may be a
good choice if you choose to change your mind about
reporting the assault or abuse later on.
 Local law enforcement agencies can ask the local SART or
medical facility to do an exam, even if the survivor chooses
to participate with them or not. But, the agencies will pay
for these exams. This includes anyone who is 12 years or
older (Family Code Section 6927 and 6928). See California
Minor Consent Laws of Teens and Minors in the Teens
and Minors part of the handbook for more information on
consent laws.
 If a survivor chooses not to get involved with law
enforcement, the evidence kit can be destroyed.
In the valley, the Center for Assault Treatment Services
(CATS) is available to you. Please turn the page for more
information.

15. 2310
What are some important facts to know about sexual
assault or rape when it involves a male survivor?
 Men of any sexual orientation can be sexually assaulted
or raped. Rape does not “turn” anyone gay or bisexual,
and it does not only happen to a gay or bisexual person.
 If a boy liked the attention he was getting, or got
sexually aroused during abuse, this does not mean that
he wanted or liked being manipulated or abused, or that
any part of what happened, in any way, was his
responsibility or fault.
 Sexual abuse harms boys and girls in ways that are
similar and different, but equally harmful.
 Both straight men and gay men can sexually abuse boys.
Sexual abuse is the result of abusive behavior that takes
advantage of a child or person’s weakness and is not
related to the sexual orientation of the abusive person.
 Girls and women can sexually abuse boys. The boys are
not “lucky,” but exploited and harmed.
 Most boys who are sexually abused will not go on to
sexually abuse others.
Please turn to the Myths part of this handbook to see some
myths about men, regarding sexual assault and rape that
involve them.
Also, you can turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a
list of important phone numbers of organizations/agencies, and
wallet size cards that you can cut out and carry with you.
What does the Center for Assault Treatment Services
(CATS) offer?
CATS provides care to survivors of domestic and sexual
violence, child sexual abuse and witnesses to a crime. CATS
works with law enforcement, child protective services, and the
District Attorney’s office to help with the collection of evidence,
proper reporting of abuse and follow-up investigation. CATS
also works with the local rape crisis center (Valley Trauma
Center) to provide advocates and treatment for survivors and
families.
Why should I go to CATS for help?
 Medical exams can be done at CATS in a supportive and
comforting area to collect evidence in private.
 It will lower the amount of times you may be
interviewed by using audio or video recording. You have
the right to change what you said, as you start to
remember events more clearly.
 They provide translation services for non-english
speaking individuals.
 They work together with different services to provide
the best care and help throughout the investigation.
For specialized medical treatment and evidence collection
following a sexual assault, call 818-908-8630.
You can turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a list of
national networks and organizations to meet your specific
needs, and wallet size cards that you can cut out and carry with
you.

16. 1122
Male survivors sometimes feel that being assaulted
makes them less masculine. There may be feelings
of shame and confusion about what happened. It is
important to remember that sexual assault and
violence is a violent crime and it is never the
survivor’s fault.
Did you know?
At least 1 in 6 men have had unwanted or abusive sexual
experiences.
Where can I get help?
RAINN-Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
Reaching out for help is often the first step toward healing.
RAINN provides support for sexual assault survivors, and their
loved ones. They have a free and confidential help line that is
available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. This hotline will
connect you to local counseling centers in your area who have
trained staff members and advocates who know about:
 the effects of unwanted or abusive sexual experiences.
 local services that can specifically help you.
What should I remember when I am going through the
healing process?
In general, men are seen as “strong” and do not show pain, fear,
or sadness. You went through a traumatic experience, and this
may cause a lot of confusing emotions. It is important to get
counseling or talk to an advocate to sort through these feelings
with proper support. Being sexually abused or assaulted does not
reflect your masculinity, and you should not feel like you did
anything wrong to be ashamed of.
What is the Victims Compensation Program
(CalVPC)?
In a criminal case, a procedure under State law that allows a
victim of a violent crime to be reimbursed by the State for
certain injuries and expenses related to the crime.
Generally, they must report the crime to the police, sheriff,
child protective services, or some other law enforcement
agency.
When do I have to report the crime?
An application for compensation can be filed within three
years of the date of the crime, for minors – three years after
the survivor's 18th birthday; or three years from the time
the survivor knew or could have discovered that an injury or
death happened as a direct result of crime, whichever is
later.
If the crime involves sex with a minor, claims may be filed
any time before to the survivor’s 28th birthday.
If applying after three years, the survivor can inform CalVCP
in writing of why the application is late, and an extension of
the time limit can be granted for certain reasons. In most
cases, if the survivor was under 18 when the crime
happened, they have until their 21st birthday to apply.
Do I have to cooperate with law enforcement?
Yes, during the investigation and prosecution of the crime
the survivor needs to provide information that is asked. Also,
a victim cannot have participated in or been involved in
committing the crime.
In the Valley, you can contact C.A.T.S. for more information.
Please turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a list of
important phone numbers of organizations/agencies, and
wallet size cards that you can cut out and carry with you.

17. Myths Reality
Rape is sexually motivated. Rape includes power, anger and
sexuality.
Rapists or Abusers are normally
strangers.
Most attackers are known by the
survivor
Rapes or Assaults happen by
strangers at night in dark places.
Most assaults and rapes happen
by someone the attacker knows at
any time of the day.
It is generally easier for LGBTQ
survivors of domestic violence to
leave an abusive partner or seek
help than it is for heterosexual
people.
LGBTQ individuals may fear that
they will be treated with
prejudice, judgement, not
believed or taken seriously. Also,
seeking services for partner abuse
makes LGBTQ persons tell their
sexual orientation, which is a
major life decision that can result
in the loss of family & friends,
employment, or child custody.
Many LGBTQ persons have no
support from their families
because of the refusal of the
family to accept the LGBTQ
person’s sexual orientation or
gender identity.
No one can be assaulted or raped
against his or her will. Any person
could stop an assault or rape if he
or she really wanted to.
Women are often physically
weaker than men and are not
taught to be physically aggressive
to defend themselves. Also, some
men and women do not want to
hurt another person, especially if
they know the attacker.
Survivors should confront their
attacker.
Survivors should do what best
takes care of their health, safety,
and recovery.
Do I need a parent or guardian’s permission to get
help or care?
Source: ©NATIONAL CENTER FOR YOUTH LAW, www.youthlaw.org,
revised: Sep. 2003
2112

18. Myths Reality
Women are asking to be raped or
sexually assaulted by the way
they dress or flirt.
Women’s dress and behavior are
not what cause rape. Rape and
assaults are a form of power and
control. They may use dress and
behavior as an excuse, rather
than a reason.
People who rape and sexually
assault people are “psychos”.
A person who assaults and rapes
others are seen as a regular
person, and only a small amount
of them are clinically insane.
Only men sexually abuse children. Most offenders are men, but
women also sexually abuse
children.
Survivors should forgive their
abusers because they will not
fully heal until they do.
Forgiveness is not an important
part of healing process. Often
forgiveness is a way to let an
abuser or offender out of taking
accountability. Accountability is
an important part of the healing
process.
Men can never be raped or
assaulted.
Men can be, and are sexually
assaulted. Their abusers are
mostly men, and the survivor
may or may not be gay.
Elders are more likely to be
attacked and abused because
they are weak and frail, so
abusers target them.
Elder abuse most often takes
place in the home where the
senior lives. It can also happen in
institutional settings, especially
long-term care facilities. Most
elder abuse victims are
dependent on their abuser for
basic needs.
Most children tell adults what is
happening to them and get help.
Most children are told or
threatened not to tell and they
may think no one will believe
them. When children do tell,
often they are not believed or
they are blamed for the abuse.
As a teenager or minor, you may feel confused, and not
sure about whom you can reach out to for help. The most
important things to remember are:
 You are not alone, and people will believe you.
 You are not to blame for what happened to you.
 You have rights.
If you have been sexually assaulted or abused, you may want to
think about telling an adult that you trust about how you feel and
what has happened. It is important to know that many adults,
including teachers, school officials, and nurses are required by law
to inform law enforcement if you tell them you have been abused, or
suspect it.
What should I know?
 It is important that you get medical care as soon as
possible. See the California Minor Consent Laws chart
on the next page.
 If you were under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the
time of the abuse, the abuse is still not your fault.
 Most sexual assaults happen between persons of a young
age who know each other.
 Rape and sexual abuse can happen within a family, and it
is important to tell someone that you can trust to help
you. You are not alone.
Please turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a list of
important phone numbers of organizations/agencies, and wallet
size cards that you can cut out and carry with you.
1320

19. As a survivor of sexual assault, rape, or domestic violence, you
may have a hard time dealing with your thoughts and feelings
after the trauma that you have gone through. It is important to
know that these feelings and thoughts are normal and in the
Resources part of this handbook, there is a list of organizations
and agencies that can help you with your specific needs.
What are some feelings I might have?
Guilt or Shame:
As a survivor, you may have guilt or shame because you feel like
you did not try to stop the abuse, or you feel your voice was
silenced out of fear.
Loss of trust:
Learning to trust again may be very hard for you. Trust what you
are feeling, it is part of the healing process, and talk with trusted
support people about your feelings.
Memories:
Many survivors experience flashbacks. The flashbacks can happen
from triggers that remind you of the negative experience.
Memories may stop you from engaging in sexual relationships
because you feel scared, ashamed, or upset. Remember that you
are not alone, and Valley Trauma Center’s 24-hour hotline is
available to you.
1914
As a family member or friend, what can I do to help the
survivor?
 Sort out your own feelings first. Rape and sexual assault
counselors and advocates can support you and the survivor
through a difficult time and provide counseling or tools to help
with the healing process.
 Do not blame yourself or the survivor for what happened. You
could have done nothing to stop the abuse.
 Having strong emotions of feeling powerlessness, guilt, fear,
anger, or confusion is normal. Do not take these feelings out in
a hurtful way towards the survivor; it can interfere with your
healing process, as well as the survivors.
 Believe the survivor and listen to what they choose to tell you.
Sometimes if you push the survivor to tell you more about the
abuse, before they are ready, it can cause a survivor to re-live
the experience emotionally, and slow down their healing
process.
 Let the survivor make all the decisions for his or her own life. It
will allow them to feel that they are gaining control of their life
back. Also, it will let the survivor move towards recovery at his or
her own pace.
What should I do if my child that is a minor is assaulted?
It is important to know that young children do not make up
stories about what they have experienced (such as sexual
activity). Also, most children are afraid they will be punished for
reporting a sexual assault.
 Try to remain calm, caring, and supportive when listening to
your child. Never blame the child or panic while they are telling
you.
 Tell your child that he or she did the right thing and is safe with
you. Make it clear that what happened is not their fault.
 Respect your child’s privacy and do not talk about what the
child decides to share with you, it can break trust.
 Be responsible and get help. Report the incident by calling
1-800-540-4000.

20. Anger:
This feeling is normally the hardest to get in touch with
because you may have felt powerless and your expression
of anger while being abused had no effect on the abuser.
You may also turn your anger onto yourself and it can
create feelings of pain, depression, and sadness. You may
experience the feeling of anger to be more intense than
normal, but it is important to know that this is all part of
the healing process.
Self Blame:
You may want to blame yourself for many reasons, but you
need to know that the only person to blame is the abuser.
Your feelings are valid and you should not blame yourself
or make excuses for someone else’s actions.
Divided Loyalty:
According to National Statistics from RAINN,
approximately 73 percent of rape victims knew their
abuser. This can cause a family or group of friends to divide
and some members will side with the survivor, and others
may side with the abuser. Either way, it is important to
remember that it is not your fault.
Loss:
You may feel a loss of control over your life. Many survivors
may experience loss of a sexual desire and feel used or
dirty. Express your feelings and do not do anything until
you are ready or feel comfortable.
Sadness:
You may feel sad and have unexplained crying. You also
may lose interest or pleasure in certain activities you used
to enjoy. Many survivors can find it hard to focus and make
decisions as well. Try to switch around the things you
normally do, and the way you do them.
To help deal with some of these emotions, you can turn to
the Healing part of this handbook to help with the healing
process and find helpful resources that are there for you,
friends, and family members.
1518
In order to help a survivor through a difficult time
after sexual abuse or assault, it is important to be
aware of the possible shame and emotional upset that
survivor’s feel. The survivor may feel violated and
close themselves out to people that are closest to
them, including you. Being able to understand these
feelings and actions can help with the healing and
recovery process for you, and the survivor. As a family
member or friend, you can be the strongest advocate
for the survivor and play a strong role in the healing
process. There are many things that you could do to
help the survivor overcome and heal from the
traumatic experience that occurred. It is important to
let the survivor make their own decisions, and to
respect their decisions.
Where can I get help?
It can sometimes be over whelming and uncomfortable for
family members or friends that are trying to help a survivor of
sexual assault or abuse. There are organizations for you, that
can provide support and education on how to deal with
different situations and emotions that may come up. For a list of
organizations and agencies, please refer to the Resources part
of the handbook.
It is important to remember that rape is a violent assault, not a
sexually motivated or sexually pleasing act. The abuser wants to
dominate, control, and degrade the survivor.
Being sexually assaulted or raped is a very traumatic experience
for the survivor, no matter how it may look to you. Please
remember that it is important that the survivor makes their
own decisions, as a way to take that control of their life back.

21. Give yourself time to adjust. This will be a hard time in
your life, so allow yourself to grieve the losses you have gone
through. Try to be patient with the changes you will go through.
Ask for support from people who care about you and
who will listen. But keep in mind that your normal support
system may be weakened if those who are close to you also
have gone through or witnessed the trauma.
Talk about your experience. Choose ways that are
comfortable to you — such as by talking with family, close
friends, advocates, or keeping a journal.
Try to find groups led by properly trained
professionals. Group talks can help people realize that others
in the same situations often have similar reactions and
emotions.
 Valley Trauma Center (VTC)
 Center for Assault Treatment Services (CATS)
 Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN)
 Peace Over Violence-Los Angeles
Take on healthy behaviors to improve your ability to cope
with a lot of stress. Eat a well-balanced meal and get lots of rest.
If you have problems with sleep, you may be able to find some relief
through relaxation methods.
Stay away from alcohol and drugs. Start or build routines such
as eating meals at regular times and following an exercise
program. Take some time off from your ‘normal’ daily life by
doing things that you enjoy.
Stay away from major life decisions such as changing
careers or jobs, if possible. These activities tend to be
very stressful.
What should I remember when I am going through
the healing process?
 There is no timeline for healing, but you can help
the healing process by reaching out to someone you
trust, who will listen to you and not blame you.
 It is normal to want to forget about the traumatic
experience and move past it, but it is important to
deal with your emotions. It can be scary, painful,
and traumatic, but you are not alone, and there are
many organizations and advocates who can help
you through this process.
 Reaching out for help is an important step to take,
to start the healing process.
Please turn to the Resources part of this handbook for a list
of important phone numbers of organizations/agencies, and
wallet size cards that you can cut out and carry with you.
1716