A Claretian Missionary Apprentice who was appointed to attend the XIX General Chapter in Rome, and was also sent to Spain for further study in his Theology. However, God has plan for him to prepare.

1. Missionary
Apprentice
BOBBY JUATON
By Gonzalo Fernández Sanz, CMF

2. Felix Espinosa Juaton (“Bobby”) was born on
July 20, 1954 in Ayala, a town on the outskirts
of Zamboanga, in the southern Philippines.
In a far-off corner of Ayala

3. Ayala is in the southwest, on the great island
of Mindanao. Bobby was born in sight of the
sea, and something of its immensity always
clung to his soul.
He was the fourth of a family of six children.

5. There, too, he learned to talk to God,
although he did not know it. That is how
these primordial things are always
learned.
At four years of age, he learned to say the
rosary and, at six, how to serve Mass for
Fr. Eugenio Pérez, a Claretian.
Every day before going to school, he
arrived punctually to serve Mass.

6. The people of his neighbourhood remember
him as a happy boy, neat and even elegant.
In his studies he was number one, although
not out of competitiveness.
He played all the games that children play,
including “saying Mass”. With all the touching
seriousness of a child who pretends he is
“consecrating” water and biscuits.
And he had a good voice.
What was Bobby like as a child?

7. In 1967, Bobby entered high school. He was
thirteen, and had experienced all the problems
and dreams that seem to sprout like magic at
that age.
He even thought rapidly of joining seminary
and becoming a real priest, but it would have
cost him too much to tear himself away from
his own.
The first decision

8. “His own” also included the sea and the sort of
provincial air that distinguished his town and
townsfolk.
They say that Zamboangueños have a touch of
class in their blood. He decided to study at the
Ateneo de Zamboanga University ADZU, a
religious school run by the Jesuits. Every day
he had to travel those sixteen kilometres from
his house to the city center.

11. He helped around home as much as he could.
Afterwards, when they left, he and his mother
sold fruit in a little stand. His parents were
never far from him.
Four years went on this way until he finished
high school.
“God’s call to take part in the mission of his
Son, came through insignificant
happenings.”

12. Then came the moment of his first decision.
There are certain persons who have received
from God the gift of unity and synthesis. When
you get close to them, you know right away
what they want and what they are feeling.
It never occurred to his imagination to think of
being a banker or a director general or a
millionaire.

13. He never wanted to study how to become the
best of all. He wanted to be a doctor, in order
to provide free help to the needy. His parents
encouraged him in this, but things followed
another course.
It was at the beach. Some Claretians had
organized a picnic lunch in the open air.
They invited Bobby. In the history of every
vocation, there is always someone bold
enough to act as God’s spokesman.

14. Bobby said yes. He agreed. No need to think
it over.
Fr. Emilio Pablo, his friend and later his
formation director wrote some words that
were engraved in his memory:
“If I enter, it will be with the intention of
never turning back.”

15. But if a priest, why a Claretian? His whole life
as a student had been spent with the Jesuits,
Franciscans and Dominicans.Yet he chose
Claret.
Since the Filipino Claretians did not have their
own seminary at the time, (1971-1975) he
spent his college years at the Franciscan
Seminary of Our Lady of the Angels.
He left Zamboanga forever, for Quezon City,
the modern town being built to become the
capital of the State, and which already formed
part of greater Manila.

16. In 1974, something happened that he
would never forget. A special
confirmation of his missionary
enthusiasm. He brought about the
conversion of five Muslim students to
Catholicism. He preferred to say that he
had accompanied five brothers on the
road of faith.

17. During vacations, he used to return to Ayala.
He spoke English fluently, loved music and
sports, and returned the head of some
Zamboangueña girl.
Then came the years of his novitiate and his
courses in theology at the University of St.
Thomas (UST) in Manila.

18. They were also the years in which he began to
distinguish essence from existence.
When he met Rahner and Bultmann in books.
When he discovered that Jesus called his
Father Abba. He learned the hits of Cat
Stevens and the Bee Gees by heart.
He saw that the world could not go on the way
it was going, and that the dialectic of “me over
you” has nothing in common with the gospel
of Jesus. And he promised himself that he
could not be indifferent in the face of people
who suffer.

19. His missionary vocation became so closely tied
to these unrests that they were fused
together. He was, above all, a missionary.
At the beginning of 1979, he could not have
imagined the strange way his wishes would be
fulfilled.

20. During Mass that morning of August 16, 1979.
Ronnie Babac told him that Fr. Carmelo Astiz
had something to say to him. He ate breakfast
slowly, trying to pause the time and figure
what it might be about.
Afterwards he decided to face it fearlessly.
Forever, Philippines

21. -“Yes, come in!”
-“Ronnie told me you wanted to see me.”
Fr. Carmelo was with Fr. Emilio Pablo and Fr.
Alberto Rossa, the formation team of the
seminary.
They exchanged glances for a moment. Bobby
was suspicious.They read aloud a letter that
had come from Rome.
He had been chosen to participate in the
General Chapter as an invited student.

22. He hesitated for a few seconds, made a rapid
calculation of the consequences, and said yes.
What did he feel at that time? How did a
proposal of that breadth sit with him? We can
now answer these questions with some
measure of objectivity.
“This gives us a chance to share our hopes and
experiences from a Filipino point of view.”
Two days later, on the heels of the first
proposal, came the second:

23. -“And what about travelling on to Spain to
finish your theology there?”
-“…”
This time it was not so easy to answer
immediately.
It was an ambitious project, but… He had no
desire to go so far away.
He took a whole day before he answered.

24. After all, the time had finally come for a
missionary to Europe:
“From the Claretian point of view, given the
role of the Claretians in this moment in
history, I can see that I have to take the risk
and make a leap, I consider it a collective and
community commitment to serve as a bridge
between our Spanish older brothers and the
Filipino generation that is coming into its
own.”

25. The answer came to him even more clearly in
prayer: “Go and I will be with you.”
From the 22nd to the 24th he was in Ayala,
bidding his family farewell. It was a surprise
that ended in a fiesta and a celebration.
It was like taking oxygen before starting his
flight.To say goodbye to papa and mama, and
to Etbino and Gil and Rodelio and Rosalia and
Nelia. And to Erlinda and Elias.To ask a
blessing.
No one suspected then that it was to be a
farewell forever.

26. On the 25th he was back in Manila.
By 7:30 in the evening the Philippines was just
a small blur from the window of an airplane.
Flight 864 on KLM was a desert between two
homelands: In the airport he had received Fr.
Emilio’s blessing, and left it all “in the hands of
God.” Now he was all alone, before the half-
opened door of the future.
The presence of Asia at the XIX
General Chapter

28. Rome is a sort of introduction to Europe. Once
you have seen Rome, you have a better
understanding of other things on this small
continent.

29. Rome is welcoming and ready to unfold its
centuries old history.
Bobby felt at home
from the very outset.
From his window in
room 92 of the
building where the
General Chapter was
to be held, he could
see a sea of roofs and
many spots of trees.

30. “I have dreamt many times of coming to this
place, but to see it, to touch it!” He also caught
a glimpse of Assisi, Florence, Pompei,
Montecassino and Naples. He admired them
all, but he still thought that nothing could
equal the sea at Ayala.

31. His real center of attention was trained on the
chapter hall: the mission of the Claretian
today.
How is a person to be a Claretian, without
losing the values of the past, and without
betraying the hopes of the present? How is
one to be a Filipino Claretian?
Those who shared those days with him,
remember him with sympathy. Who knows if
he was not a by-product of the 19th General
Chapter. He gave them life and then passed on
without a sound.

34. On Sunday, October l4th, at 5:15 in the
morning he took to the road on his journey to
Spain.
Four wheels to Spain

35. And so, from one night through the following
morning,
His diary went on putting his days, weeks and
months into words. Words like these:
“I have seen snow for the first time in my life”;
“Today a letter came from papa and mama”;
“I’ve taken my first exam in Spain.” Little steps
that kept shaping his new situation.

36. He arrived at ColmenarViejo on October 17,
1979. He found a community and an imposing
heap of granite awaiting him.
Making Community

38. During the first days of November, he visited
the Catalonian scenes of Claret’s activities:
Barcelona, Sallent,Vic.
When he saw Claret’s tiny body inVic, he must
have remembered the words of Pius XII on the
day of Claret’s canonization:
“Small in stature, but giant in spirit.”
It was a community gift, greater than one
century or one continent.

39. There were plenty of difficult moments during
those first few months. Like being born again.
The climate was strange, the food was
strange, the kind of studies, the language, the
customs –even the sky– were all strange.
Sometimes his effort ended in a prayer: “Lord,
help me to get to understand my brothers
from over here. Make me open to their way
of thinking. I hope I’ll be able to speak
Spanish as soon as possible”.

40. On weekends, he visited the places where our
formation community does its ministry.
He could learn how parishes, youth groups,
children’s Masses, etc. work. Afterwards, he
would sum up his impressions in laconic notes.
And he always ended them by praising God.
He understood that this place was to be found
in the very core of the vocation we have all
received.

41. “It’s really a gift that we have been able to find
a place where we can share the dreams that
well up from a source that no one can totally
explain.”
He was grateful for what he considered to be
positive values: serenity, openness to God and
his brothers, sensitivity to justice, and
optimism toward life.

42. At the end, in somewhat sluggish but suggestive lines, he
intuits their answers:
“Amid these experiences,
the questions to the countryside,
I lifted up my head and saw a precious picture
floating above the dry, stiff mountain,
covered with fine, pure snow.
And now, Lord, at this table,
in a family celebration,
You answer my questions about life.
Thanks for your love,
your faithfulness and trust.
I give you my life, my faith, my hope.”

43. The strong, peak experience came a month
later. It took place among the walls, the monks
and the trees at the monastery ofYuste, in the
north of that land of conquistadores that is
called Extremadura.These were the spiritual
exercises before his perpetual profession.
Within the walls ofYuste:The
Third Decision

44. Monasterio deYuste
The place was unique. From the first moment,
he was enchanted with this old, Hieronymite
monastery.

46. Yuste became a symbol of his bridge-building
mission between two cultures and two
generations of Claretians.
The day ran on with spiritual intensity. Many
things became more luminous. He
understood, for example, the meaning of the
monastic life.The monks were not out
“to dominate the world, but to offer humanity
a service of solidarity.”

47. To be the human being that we are, for
happiness, is an affirmation of the gift of God
amid success or failure: “It’s taken me a long
time, but at last I’ve found the treasure I was
looking for.”

48. On May 25th, 1980, he celebrated his
perpetual profession as a Claretian. With him
were Fr. Fernando Campo (his formator in
Spain) and Fr. Carmelo Astiz (his formation
director in the Philippines).
Once again, an instance of symbols and
bridges.
Perpetual profession:
“carried forward”

50. He sums up his days like a telegram, now and
then adding a “Thanks,” or a “Praise the Lord,”
like compliments that condense what would
have needed many words.
Some weekends he would take advantage of
the opportunity to visit different Claretian
communities of Castile, according to the
special plan for those taking their last year of
theology.

51. Nevertheless, there was still one unscheduled
day:
June 7, 1981.That day was one that God had
decided to reserve for himself, and He had
marked it in red on His own calendar: Bobby’s
homecoming to the house of the Father,
Bobby’s birth to the New Life.

53. June 7, 1981, was a really hot day.
At the seminary of ColmenarViejo, Madrid,
Spain, things were in a festive mood: we
were celebrating the perpetual profession of
Mariano José Sedano.
Bobby had gone off with Fr. Ildefonso Murillo
and the student Herminio García to El Boalo,
a small mountain town entrusted to the
pastoral care of the Claretians.
To die at 27

54. They were supposed to be back for the
profession ceremony, but they did not make it.
Aroung 4:00 p.m. we knew precisely what had
happened. Ildefonso and Herminio had been
rushed to a hospital. Bobby and the driver of
the other care were dead.Two deaths in the
time it takes to say “hello”.
The night between the 7th and the 8th was an
adventure. Communicating with the
Philippines seemed impossible.

55. What would his family say – Papa Felix and
Mama Rosa? What could they say, so many
thousands of kilometres away? Once again,
faith would have to take sorrow into its arms.
The burial took place on 9th “It is good for you
that I go” Theme of the celebration.
Bobby’s death had unifying effect. It brought
brothers and friends together.
Flowers that came, at least symbolically, from
the other side of the ocean and tried to build a
bridge of feelings.

56. Months later,
“All of the people of Ayala hope that his death
might no be in vain.”
And the young people, his friends, went even
further: “The remembrance of you will be a
constant inspiration to us and to all the
young people who may feel challenged to fill
your place.”

58. From a diary written.
They are written by someone who lived with
Bobby during the last two years of his life and
felt the impact of his death.
Someone who has spent almost a couple of
years meditating on his diary and retracing his
steps.
Someone, finally, who is the spokesman for a
whole community.
ATestament of Poverty

59. A life of one who could recognize himself
in that line from the Autobiography: “I am
by nature very compassionate”
It is not a sentimental life, but it is
provocative. And, if this adds any further
explanation, it is a CLARETIAN life.

60. Daghang Salamat
Muchas Gracias!!!