Gender Communication Practices

1. GENDERED COMMUNICATION
PRACTICES
“Communication between men and women can be like cross
cultural communication, prey to a clash of conversational
styles” Deborah Tannen (1990)

2. WOMEN’S
SPEECH
 For Most Women
Communication is:
 to establish and
maintain
relationships
 conversation is for
sharing and learning
about others
 Talk is the essence
of relationships

3. EQUALITY
 Equality between people is
generally important
 try and achieve symmetry
 often match experiences
– “you’re not alone in how you
feel
– “I’ve done the same thing
many times”
 respond and build on each
other’s ideas
– Rather than “you-tell-your-idea-
then-I’ll-tell-mine,” voices weave
together to create conversations.

4. SHOWING SUPPORT
 Often express understanding & Sympathy
– “Oh, you must feel terrible”
– “I think you did the right thing”
– “I really hear what you are saying”

5. RELATIONSHIP LEVEL
 Focus on feelings
 Focus on relationship between communicators
rather than content
 often probe to understand feelings
– “Tell me about what happened?”
– “How did you feel when it occurred?”
– “Do you think it was deliberate?”
 Content is dealt with but also feelings involved.

6. CONVERSATION MAINTENANCE
 Women’s style is conversational maintenance work
 efforts to sustain talk
 often initiate topics for others
– “How was your day”
– “Tell me about your meeting”
– “Did anything interesting happen on your trip”

7. INCLUSIVITY
 RESPONSIVENESS
 usually respond in
some fashion
 verbally and
nonverbally more
engaged
 make other feel
valued and included

8. PERSONAL, CONCRETE STYLE
 Typical of
women's
conversation are
 personal
disclosures
 details
 anecdotes
 concrete
reasoning

9. TENTATIVENESS
 Verbal Hedges
• “I kind of feel you may
be overreacting”
 Qualifiers
• “I’m not the best judge
of this, but...”
 Keep Talk Provisional,
Tag questions that invite
response
• “That was a pretty good
movie, wasn’t it?”
• “We should get out this
weekend, don’t you
think?”

10. MEN’S SPEECH
 Goal of talk is
exerting control,
preserving
independence,
and enhancing
status.
 Conversation is
the arena for
proving oneself
& negotiating
prestige.

11. Men’s Speech
 General
Tendencies
 Use talk to
establish and
defend personal
status and ideas
 When comforting,
they do so by
respecting others
independence and
avoiding
condescending

12. SHOW KNOWLEDGE, SKILL, OR ABILITY
 Avoid disclosing
personal information
that might appear
weak or vulnerable
• e.g., someone
expresses concern
about a relationship
with a boyfriend
– “The way you should
handle that is...”
– “Don’t let him get to
you.”
– “You ought to tell
him....”

13. ADVICE
 Tendency to
give ADVICE
 Instrumental -
not feeling, but
rather what you
should do
 Superiority -
Maintain control
 Men see as
“give and take,”
Women as lack
of concern

14. INSTRUMENTALITY
 Instrumentality - The
use of talk to
accomplish instrumental
objectives
 Men socialized to do things,
achieve goals
 In talk this is expressed as
problem-solving, getting
information, facts,
suggesting solutions
 This focus on content works
between men
 Show support in ways
learned to do so - solve the
problem.

15. CONVERSATIONAL DOMINANCE
 Men tend to
dominate
conversations -
talk more than
women
 Talk more
frequently
 For longer
duration
 Select topic of
talk
Interrupt more
Men interrupt to control conversation
Women interrupt to show interest, affirm

16. ABSOLUTE,
ASSERTIVE TALK
– Language tends
to forceful,
direct,
authoritative
– Less use of
hedges and
disclaimers

17. ABSTRACT
TALK
 Speak in general terms
 Fewer concrete
experiences
 More distanced from
personal feelings
 Works best in Public
situation where
theoretical & conceptual,
talk is appropriate

18. LESS RESPONSIVE
 More “minimal
response cues”
 Less sympathy
and self-
disclosure
• Sympathy seen
as sign of
condescension
• Personal
problems seen as
vulnerability

19. Talking about Troubles
 Woman disappointed
in not getting job
– Man says, “You
shouldn’t feel bad.
Lots of people don’t
get jobs they want”
• She thinks, he belittles
her experience
• He thinks, he is
showing respect by
bolstering her
independence

20. Talking about Troubles, Cont.
 Man disappointed is not getting job
– Woman says, “Are you okay” What’s
bothering you?”
• He thinks this points out his vulnerability
• She probes to show she cares

21. RELATIONSHIP TALK
 WOMEN
 It’s going
fine if there
is talk
 Talk is a
process to
sustain
relationship
 Talk is a
way to
show
closeness
– “We need
to talk,” to
affirm our
caring
 MEN
 It’s going
fine if there
is no need
to talk
 Talk is to
solve
problems
 Talk
indicate a
problem
– Duck
when she
say, “we
need to
talk”

22. GENDER
QUESTIONNAIRE
 Men talk more than women. T/F
 T
 Men are more likely to interrupt women than they are
to interrupt other men.
 T
 Women tend to confront problems more directly and
are likely to bring up the problem first.
 T

23. Questionnaire, cont.
 During conversation men spend more time looking at their partner
than women do.
 F
 Women are more alert to nonverbal cues than men are.
 T
 Groups that use the male style of sticking to the task get more work
done.
 F
 In general men and women talk about the same things.
 F
 Women use less personal space than men do.
 T
 When a man speaks, he is listened to more carefully than a
woman, even if the presentation is identical.
 T

24. Questionnaire, cont.
 In general women speak in a more tentative style than men do.
 T
 Women are more likely than men to disclose personal
information.
 T
 In general men smile more often than women.
 F
 Women are more likely than men to answer questions that are
not addressed to them.
 F
 Women and men are equally emotional when they speak.
 T
 Men appreciate jokes more than women.
 T

25. THE END
Based on Julia Wood’s book Gendered Lives