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1. Saying More with Less:

2. Less is More: The Power
of Brevity

5. For sale: baby shoes, never used. – by Ernest Hemingway
Love hurts. Choose vodka or valium.
Finally found love, at age 41.
Chocolate is the coward's bad apology.
Loved her madly — then went mad.
Warning, love: I blog my breakups.
Passenger
I still feel extremely possessive of your passenger seat,
even though I don't belong there anymore.

6. Playlisting
I wonder what music you'll listen to after me.
Hello, Universe?
When I ask the universe for happiness, I ask it to please
include you.
Cat leaps from shadows. Floating feathers.
Nerdy kid. Rocket launcher. Bully's gone.
Small fish. Big Pond. Same Expectations.
You + I. A tragic miscalculation.
Awaken. The dream has begun: life.

8. "She'd fit, for the most part, in a shoebox, so it's
hard enough to recall a time when Allison, our Shih
Tzu, was noticeably smaller. But, be that as it may,
when we for the first time brought her into our
house about six years ago, she was positively
microscopic. Allison, for the most part, liked to
hide in impossible spaces (if only because she
could): between the fridge and the china cabinet,
behind the open front door and entrance (flanking
the umbrellas), under the coffee table, behind the
sofa…"

9. "Above all, there is, of course,
absolutely no need indeed to decorate
your sentence with words and phrases
of emphasis if, without them, the
sentence undeniably is indeed equally
capable of stressing your point."

10. Why is concise better than wordy?
• Fewer words, stronger expression
• Easier to understand and read, thus,
more persuasive and more user-
centered

12. Note: Concision does not necessarily
equate to short. A long
sentence can, in fact, be more
concise than a short sentence.
The key is word necessity. If
every word in the sentence adds
to its meaning, then the
sentence is concise.

13. "Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence
should contain no unnecessary words, a
paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for
the same reason that a drawing should
have no unnecessary lines and a machine
no unnecessary parts. This requires not
that the writer make all his sentences
short, or that he avoid all details and treat
his subjects only in outline, but that every
word tell.“
- William Strunk, Jr. in Elements of Style

14. Why is verbosity so common?

15. Why is verbosity so common?
• Sounds more academic
- Requires bigger words
- Makes things sound more absolute – little
action
• Once learned, becomes a habit

16. "I didn't have time to write a short letter,
so I wrote a long one instead."

17. (Business letter extracts)
Message 1 (50 words): With reference to
your request for an extension on your note
under the date March 20, we have
considered the matter carefully and are
pleased to be able to tell you that we will be
willing to allow you an additional 90 days
to make payment on your note.
Message 2 (18 words): We can allow you
an additional 90 days to pay your note. It
is now due June 20.

18. (E-mail)
Message 1: “Mary, would you like to
meet me for lunch today at noon?”
Message 2: “Mary, I am getting hungry.
I was wondering if you were hungry too.
When people are hungry, that is a sign
that they need to eat. Since we might
both be hungry, I was perhaps
wondering if you might care to join me
for a meal in the near future?”

19. Wordy
in spite of the fact that
make an analysis of
give assistance to
hold the belief that
be in a position to
is corrective of
under date of
is dependent on
have a desire for
give emphasis to
Examples of unnecessary slow wind-ups:
Concise
although
analyze
assist
believe
can
correct
dated
depend
desire
emphasize

20. Wordy
absolutely complete
cancel out
exactly identical
various differences
general public
large in size
visible to the eye
weather conditions
potentially dangerous
new development
Examples of redundancies:
Concise
complete
cancel
identical
differences, variations
public, citizens
large
visible
weather, climate
dangerous
development

21. Other examples of redundancies:
absolutely essential actual facts
added bonus ATM machine
brief moment brief summary
classify into groups close proximity
consensus of opinion emergency situation
empty space heat up
introduced a new introduced for the first
time
joint collaboration look ahead to the future
major breakthrough mix together
mutual cooperation natural instinct

22. Other examples of redundancies:
new beginning new recruit
overused cliché period of time
personal friend PIN number
plan ahead reason why
reflect back reply back
safe haven still remains
sudden impulse temper tantrum
ultimate goal unexpected surprise
unintentional mistake very unique

23. Practice
Let's revive some sentences!

24. In this paragraph is a demonstration of
the use of good style in the writing of a
report.

25. One can easily see that a kicking situation
is taking place between Jim and Bill.

26. Short-term planning is foremost in the
prioritization of the team.

27. The point I wish to make is that the
employees working at this company are
in need of a much better manager of
their money.

28. The point I wish to make is that the
employees working at this company are
in need of a much better manager of
their money.