The MTL Professional Development Programme is a collection of 202 PowerPoint presentations that will provide you with step-by-step summaries of a key management or personal development skill. This presentation is on "The Origins of Assertiveness" and will show you why assertiveness is something we are born with but which goes underground as we are taught how to live in a potentially hostile world.  

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MTL: The Professional Development Programme
The Origins of Assertiveness
THE ORIGINS OF
ASSERTIVENESS
Re-claiming your assertive birth-right
MTL: The Professional Development Programme

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MTL: The Professional Development Programme
The Origins of Assertiveness
Attribution: All images are from sources where a Creative Commons license exists for commercial use. All icons are on subscription
from thenounproject. All clipart is from free sources. The MTL Professional Development Programme is copyright of Manage Train
Learn.
The Origins of
Assertiveness
Introduction: As new-born babies, all of us relate to the world with love, openness and
honesty. However, once our thinking brains kick in, others teach us fear-based
strategies that they believe will keep us safe. But our assertiveness doesn't disappear.
It simply goes underground waiting for the day when we can re-claim it as our birth
right.

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The Origins of Assertiveness
https://www.flickr.com/photos/yuchao_li/5936266081/
Babies know no fear, only love
1. THE
ASSERTIVE
CHILD
If you look at a baby, you'll see all you ever need
to know about how assertive you can be. A baby
is unconditionally trusting; expresses its needs
freely; and is endlessly curious and joyful about
the world. A baby lives totally in the present and
is free from a self-centred ego. A baby knows no
fears; it knows only love.

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MTL: The Professional Development Programme
The Origins of Assertiveness
2. THE
PROTECTIVE
PARENT
https://www.flickr.com/photos/honzasoukup/749466853/
Most parents believe their duty is to protect their child
In the early years of our lives, our thinking brains
are undeveloped. We function from the
instinctive brain that doesn't analyse, interpret,
or stress. However, around the age of 2 or 3, our
thinking brains start to assert their power over
our lives, egged on by all those around us such as
parents and carers who believe we should be
protected from a hostile world.

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The Origins of Assertiveness
https://www.flickr.com/photos/monstervinvin/6789106356/
The mother blames the child and the child blames others
3. LEARNING
HOW TO
BEHAVE
As we grow, we are taught patterns of behaviour
that are designed to protect us from a world that
we are repeatedly told is hostile. Our freedom is
restricted by do's and don'ts. Our playfulness in
the present is replaced by punishment for wrong-
doing. Honest communication about our needs
and wants is replaced by a raft of non-honest
communication to get what we want.

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The Origins of Assertiveness
4. THE BLAME
PROGRAMME
https://pixabay.com/en/index-finger-pointing-you-hand-me-315754/
Blame or shame others
In a hostile world, the name of the game is to
work out how to survive while keeping the love of
those around us. One of the ways we do this is
the Blame Game. When we do something that
risks losing the love of those around us, we seek
to get this love back either by blaming others or
blaming ourselves. In one fell swoop, we learn to
be aggressive or submissive. In time, we work out
which of these two strategies works best and,
from then on, use it whenever we can.

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The Origins of Assertiveness
https://www.flickr.com/photos/lancesh/173774474/
Avoiding is a false self programme we learn when young
5. THE FALSE
SELF
PROGRAMME
When we lose the true self of babyhood, we
create a new self based on survival. We learn that
"might is right" and that avoiding punishment is
better than being found out. Our thinking brains
take over our lives, creating an ego that has a
field day working out just what it needs to do to
come out on top. This thinking brain creates a
false self which, some people believe, is the root
cause of much of our unhappiness throughout
our lives.

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The Origins of Assertiveness
6. THE OK
OPTIONS
PROGRAMME
https://pixabay.com/en/sad-depressed-man-him-guy-person-864399/
Keep a place where you can go to remind yourself you’re OK
The way we are raised results in four kinds of
relationships:
a. we can feel OK about ourselves but not about
others: the aggressive mode
b. we can feel OK about others but not about
ourselves: the submissive mode
c. we can feel not OK about others nor about
ourselves: the depressive mode
d. we can feel OK about others and ourselves: the
assertive mode.

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The Origins of Assertiveness
As we grow, we learn a way to gain the love of others
7. OUR
PERSONALITIES
https://www.flickr.com/photos/eaglebrook/32621716091/
By the time our early years are at an end, we will
have developed a predominant personality type
that reflects our world view. These personality
types are the ways we react to life situations, in
particular, stress and danger. These personality
types create different drives in us such as wanting
to be perfect; to be loved; to be admired; to be
different; to know everything; to be safe; to be
happy; to be strong; and to be at peace.

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The Origins of Assertiveness
This has been a Slide Topic from Manage Train Learn
AFinal
Word
Our early years define who we are but they also condemn us to a life that is dominated by our ego
brains and our false life script programming. All the while, there is a nagging doubt that this is not
who we really are. Only when we learn to throw off the shackles of our programming and become
the real assertive us again can we really re-discover our true selves.