Communication Barriers

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MTL: The Professional Development Programme
Communication Barriers
COMMUNICATION
BARRIERS
Are you missing the elephant in the room?

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Attribution: All images are from sources where a Creative Commons license exists for commercial use. All icons are on subscription
from thenounproject. All clipart is from free sources. The MTL Professional Development Programme is copyright of Manage Train
Learn.
Communication
Barriers
Introduction: Many people think that communicating is easy. It is after all
something we’ve done all our lives. There is some truth in this simplistic view.
Communicating is straightforward. What makes it complex, difficult, and
frustrating are the barriers we put in the way.

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1. PHYSICAL
BARRIERS
When you create unnecessary physical barriers
between you and others, for example, by
marking out territories into which others are not
allowed, you immediately create psychological
barriers, a “Them and Us” mentality. Research
shows that one of the most important factors in
building cohesive teams is proximity. As long as
people still have a personal space that they can
call their own, nearness to others aids
communication because it helps us get to know
one another.
Communication stops when we don’t connect
Flickr attribution: /thorinside/410874840/

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Why We Need Strokes Between Us and Others
The formalised behaviour of workplaces
discourages the amount of touching that
human beings can engage in at work but this
doesn't mean that we do not need to feel
physical contact with others.
Experiments with baby monkeys show that
when they are taken away from their mothers
and deprived of physical contact, they will
die, even though there is nothing wrong with
them.
In place of actual physical touch, human
beings need psychological strokes. Strokes are
the words and actions that spell out contact
from one person to another.
"Shout at me, tell me off, even discipline me, but don't
ignore me, keep me waiting or stand me up!"

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2.
PERCEPTUAL
BARRIERS
One of the biggest barriers to good
communication is in our heads: our perceptions.
When, through not really knowing others, we
perceive others as somehow different from us
and unapproachable, we immediately raise a
barrier that is hard to get over. When you don’t
know another person well, don’t assume that
that person is someone you won’t like or get on
with. Suspend your perception until you can get
to know them better.
We all have unique views of the world
Flickr attribution: /dskley/9977894773/

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A traveller was walking down a road when
he met a man from the next town.
"Excuse me," he said. "I am hoping to stay in
the next town tonight. Can you tell me what
the townspeople are like?"
"Well," said the townsman, "how did you
find the people in the last town you
visited?"
"Oh, they were an irascible bunch. Kept to
themselves. Took me for a fool. Over-
charged me for what I got. Gave me very
poor service."
"Well, then," said the townsman, "you'll find
them pretty much the same here.“
The Traveller
Flickr attribution: /h-k-d/7813549226/

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What You See Depends on What You Think
It is thought that there are at least six
perceptual locking on and off actions in
every communication:
• what you mean to say
• what you actually say
• what the other person hears
• what the other person thinks he hears
• what the other person says
• what you think the other person says.
This leaves communications wide-open to
misunderstanding. We mean to say one
thing but our perception means we say
something else. Someone replies saying
one thing but our perception picks up only
what we think he says. Our perceptual
mind locks on to information that it wants
to hear and locks out information that it
doesn't want to hear. This is the origin of
the self-fulfilling prophecy that says that,
whatever we let our minds believe to be
true always ends up being true.
Flickr attribution: /zedzap/11827001163/

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3. EMOTIONAL
BARRIERS
One of the chief barriers to communication is the
emotional barrier. It is comprised mainly of fear,
mistrust and suspicion. When we are guarded,
our communication is more about protecting
ourselves than conveying information. And in
protecting ourselves, we may focus more on
what is going on in us than in others.
A look of suspicion
Flickr attribution: /jeffreyoung/2331467634/

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ImproveYour Communication WithYour OK States
A state of OK-ness is how we feel in relation to others and ourselves. We can categorise each relationship we have
with others according to which of four states of OK-ness it is.
I’M OK,
THEY’RE
NOT OK
I’M NOT
OK,
THEY’RE
NOT OK
I’M OK,
THEY’RE
OK
I’M NOT
OK,
THEY’RE
OK
I’M
NOT
OK
I’M
OK
OTHERS NOT OK OTHERS OK
I'm OK, they're not OK.
This is a superior,
aggressive and disdainful
standpoint.
Communication is likely
to be one-way, distant
and remote.
I'm not OK, they're OK.
This is a submissive
standpoint based on
letting others dominate.
Communication is likely
to be reactive, timid and
hesitant.
I'm not OK, they're not
OK. This is a bleak
standpoint conveying
distrust and isolation as
well as a low level of
confidence in oneself.
Communication is zero or
very low.
I'm OK, they're OK. This
is the basis for win-win,
trusting, co-operative
and mutually satisfying
relationships.

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4. CULTURAL
BARRIERS
Cultural barriers are the barriers raised by people
who belong to an exclusive group. It is a way of
defining who is in the group and who is not. In
the workplace, people create their own exclusive
groups as teams and cliques. When this happens,
you are raising barriers to others that say, “Join
us only if you are one of us".
We often exclude people who aren’t like us
Flickr attribution: /chrisbastian/3007214702/

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Why People Play Psychological Games at Work
In psychological terms, "games" are patterns of interacting with others that are about confirming our view of
others rather than learning about others. They are carried out unconsciously, although we make sure they follow
a predictable route. They may have a negative pay-off which is proof of our view of ourselves or others. ("I told
you he was a fool." "There you are, I told you he would behave like that!")
Eric Berne, originator of transactional analysis, has catalogued over 90 different games. Berne says we play games
to give ourselves strokes, albeit negative ones, and because we enjoy re-counting them to others and to
ourselves. They are also ways of hiding behind the pain of failed human contact.

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Playing Games of Win-Lose
1 2 3
4 5 6
7 8 9
“Harassed”
Julie rushes around
finding work where
none exists as a way
of blaming others for
how overworked she
is.
“Lunch Bag”
Ian chooses to man the
office while everyone
else goes out to lunch
and makes them feel
guilty when they come
back.
“Yes, But…”
Ali asks the team for
help with a problem but
rejects each one with
“yes, but…”. He then
complains that he gets
no help.
“I’m Only Trying to
Help”
Stella offers help where
none is wanted. When
she is rejected, she
complains at the
ingratitude.
“Poor Me”
Biraj depicts himself to
the boss as helpless. As
a result, the boss avoids
criticising Biraj’s poor
work.
“Hero”
Fred, the boss, sets up
situations in which
others are bound to fail.
He then steps in to save
the day and become
the hero.
“Kick Me, Go
On”
Lou is feeling down and
someone else adds to
her troubles, proving
that everyone is against
her.
“Blemish”
The boss discovers one
blemish in June’s work.
This is magnified so that
the whole performance
looks bad.
“Cops and
Robbers”
Bob walks a fine line
between good and bad
behaviour to show how
ineffective the boss is.
Here are 9 “games” that are often played at work as substitutes for genuine communication and contact:

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5. LANGUAGE
BARRIERS
There are thought to be around 5000 distinct
languages in the world today. If you add on the
dialects of these languages, the number runs
into the tens of thousands. In a global
marketplace the greatest compliment you can
pay another person is to learn their language and
use it at every opportunity.
“I LoveYou” in sign language
Flickr attribution: /heymans/3432142598/

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6. GENDER
BARRIERS
There are differences between the speech
patterns of men and women. A woman speaks
around 25,000 words a day whereas a man
speaks around 10,000. When a man talks, his
speech is located in his left brain. When a
woman talks, her speech is located in both
hemispheres. Understanding the differences
between men and women can be the first step in
overcoming them.
Women tend to speak more than men
Flickr attribution: /eleni_pap/5762466757/

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7. PERSONAL
BARRIERS
In working with others, there is a spectrum of
choices about how we can connect with them. At
one end, there is withdrawal with no desire to
know the person. Somewhere in the middle,
there is formal but cold contact. At the other
end, - the one where there are no barriers, -
there is intimacy when we open ourselves to
others with full trust.
“To Love and Be Loved” statue in NewYork
Flickr attribution: /tonythemisfit/3117356986/

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This has been a Slide Topic from Manage Train Learn
AFinal
Word
Working on improving your communications is a broad-brush activity. You have to change
your thoughts, your feelings, and your physical connections. That way you can break down
the barriers that get in your way and start building relationships that really work.

Communication Barriers

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