1. SNNEWS SHEPPARTON NEWS, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2015 5
News special feature: Violence against women
“Get out before it’s too late.
Don’t kid yourself and say it’s not
going to happen again, because it
definitely does.”
These are Sophie’s* words of
advice to women in sexually and
physically abusive relationships.
Sophie defied death when
her ex-partner Ryan* violently
attacked her nine years ago.
However, she did not escape
unscathed.
She is left with a permanent
physical reminder of the attack.
Ryan held a knife to her throat,
raped her and hit her head so
hard she suffered a stroke.
She was only 16 years old.
Her slow-moving left side is a
constant reminder of the abuse
she endured at the hands of her
first “everything” Ryan, who was
20 when he attacked her for the
final time.
Before she ended up in hospital,
Sophie decided to fight back.
“I said enough was enough,” she
said.
“I slapped him across the face
and cried.
“He looked shocked.”
She said he was drunk and
possibly on drugs, but definitely
“a mess” when he returned to his
parents’ home, where Sophie was
at the time, and it was there he
attacked her.
He told her he was going to
slit his own wrists, which made
Sophie agitated and anxious,
then he attacked her while
Sophie fought back to save her
life.
She said Ryan’s parents were
home, but they were also scared
of him and did not come to her
rescue.
After he hit her head hard,
Sophie began vomiting and Ryan
took her to the local hospital.
When she came around a few
weeks later, Sophie remembered
what happened, but did not tell
any doctors.
But she knew she would never
go back to Ryan, regardless of
what he did to make it up to her.
At the beginning of their two-
year relationship, Ryan used to
do “sweet things” like pinching
flowers from a neighbour’s
garden or buying McDonald’s for
her.
“I thought it was pretty cool to
have an older boyfriend—it was
the popular thing,” she said.
She was bullied at school and
made the decision to drop out.
Sophie’s mother set her up in a
unit of her own, so she would not
see Ryan.
“My mum didn’t like him,” she
said.
However, Ryan continued to
call around, even hiding in the
shed when Sophie’s mum came
to visit.
Physical and sexual assault
was a constant part of their
relationship.
Sophie said there was also
consensual sex between them
and she enjoyed the attention
Ryan lavished on her after a
violent attack.
“He would focus all his
attention on me for 24 hours and
say ‘I won’t do it again’,” she said.
“I thought I loved him and
believed I would change him.”
Getting help
One of Sophie and Ryan’s mutual
friends sent her a letter when she
was in hospital. This man had
known Ryan longer than Sophie
and the kind words he wrote in
the letter made her realise he
knew what was happening.
She was grateful that he
prevented Ryan from coming to
the hospital.
Weeks later a social worker
stopped by the ward to speak
with Sophie and that’s when she
“blurted it all out”.
Sophie allowed the social
worker to tell her mother under
the condition that mother and
daughter did not have to discuss
it.
Her mum agreed to the
conditions, but took legal action
against Ryan.
“I was a bit scared he’d know I’d
spoken,” Sophie said.
“I felt he had power over me
but I felt relieved someone knew
what happened.”
The court case took three years
and Sophie had to appear via
video link.
“He denied everything,” she
said.
Sophie was devastated when
Ryan was freed without a jail
term due to lack of evidence.
“It’s unfair he gets away with it,”
she said.
The mental and physical
effects
When Sophie saw her ex-partner
at Shepparton Marketplace three
years ago, she fell to her knees
and started crying.
“I didn’t do that, my body did
that,” she said.
She was so scared, she went to
a security guard and made him
patrol the area.
Sophie now suffers from
a lower sex drive, and new
partners criticise her for being
unresponsive.
What Sophie would
change
Sophie is unsure whether she
should have fought back but, if
she had her time back again,
would leave quietly, without a
word, at the first sign of violence.
She would have told just
one person about what was
happening.
As part of raising awareness about violence against women, News
journalist ELAINE COONEY sat down with a brave young Numurkah
woman who wanted to share her story about how an abusive partner
changed her life forever. She hopes speaking out will help women in her
situation get out of violent relationships before it is too late.
To get help, call:
Women’s DomesticViolence
Crisis Service
www.wdvcs.org.au
1800 015 188
Sexual Assault Crisis Line
www.sacl.com.au
1800 806 292
Men’s Referral Service
www.mrs.org.au
1300 766 491
Lifeline (24 hours)
www.lifeline.org.au
131 114
Young women who
experience violence
The Australian Bureau of
Statistics reported that the
proportion of younger women
(aged 18–24 years) reporting
incidents of violence in the past
12 months was more than twice
as high as that for the general
population of women at 12 per
cent, compared with 5.8 per cent.
Since the age of 15:
• 40 per cent of women reported
at least one incident of physical
or sexual violence.
• 33 per cent of women
experienced inappropriate
comments about their body or
sex life.
• 25 per cent of women
experienced unwanted sexual
touching.
• 19 per cent of women had been
subjected to stalking.
d
l
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* Not their real names.
Sophie’s life has changed
forever due to a vicious
assault by her ex-partner.
Help yourself
while you can