1. 8 SNNEWS SHEPPARTON NEWS, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2015
Are you concerned
about your gambling?
For free and confidential face to face counselling
or financial counselling talk to the Gambler’s Help
team at Primary Care Connect
Call 5823 3200 or visit primarycareconnect.com.au
News special feature: Tackling violence against women
Elaine Cooney
White Ribbon Day on November
25 shines a spotlight on male
violence against women.
News journalist Elaine Cooney
spoke to a Shepparton woman
who recently broke from the
dominant grip of an emotionally
abusive partner, with the aim of
highlighting family violence in the
community. Shayna* now enjoys a
world of freedom she has not experienced in a long
time, but fears the day her ex-husband is released
from jail.
Abused: Shayna* suffered years of emotional and sometimes physical abuse.
Abuse
trapped
victim
An Irish campaign high-
lighting violence against
women used a powerful
slogan ‘‘You don’t need a
bruise to be abused’’.
This was the case for
Shepparton resident
Shayna*, 35, who suffered
emotional torment as well
as jealous and restrictive
behaviour from her partner
Jake* for almost 20 years.
Jake is now serving a
prison sentence for serial
breaches of an intervention
order after Shayna had him
removed from the house for
physically attacking her.
While the physical abuse
was recent, the mental con-
trol Jake had over her began
when they were both in high
school.
She was initially attracted
to him because he was a ‘‘bit
of a bad boy’’.
‘‘I liked that,’’ she said.
‘‘He always broke the rules
and said what he thought.’’
This included commen-
tary on what Shayna wore.
‘‘I suppose I was a bit flat-
tered with the fact he cared
enough about what I was
wearing,’’ she said.
But now she realises it
was possessive behaviour
and not normal.
‘‘He was the boss — he
controlled everything,’’ she
said.
Her sisters were appalled
that she had to ask his per-
mission and gauge if Jake
was in a ‘‘good mood’’
before making plans, when
they would simply kiss their
husbands goodbye and fly
out the door at a moment’s
notice.
‘‘The last time I went to
see my sister he constantly
called me and sent me abu-
sive texts,’’ she said.
‘‘I recharged my old
phone the other day and the
texts were mostly horren-
dous.’’
She rarely went out
because the abuse was
insufferable — even a trip to
the supermarket alone
would prompt Jake to ques-
tion if she was having an
affair.
So she ended up bringing
the children with her every
time, when really she
wanted some time alone.
An attempt at seeing a
counsellor also backfired on
Shayna with Jake again
accusing her of infidelity.
So she stopped receiving
the treatment, even though
she felt sad and depressed.
‘‘The doctor prescribed
anti-depressants and he
said he’d leave me if I took
them,’’ she said.
The abuse escalated in the
last four years of their mar-
riage when Jake began using
drugs, which included ice.
The love Shayna once had
for Jake had fizzled out.
‘‘I’m not sure when it was
— maybe it was one time he
got physical with me or
didn’t show up to some-
thing important to one of
the kids or when I found
(his) drugs . . .’’ she said.
One thing both of them
knew is that she would not
have stayed with him if they
did not have children.
The children were her rea-
son to stay in the abusive
relationship — plus the
financial ties they shared.
When he began grabbing
and pushing her, she began
confiding in her father
about the fractured relation-
ship.
‘‘I was very cautious about
what I said to my family,’’
she said.
‘‘I didn’t want them to
judge Jake.’’
She decided to do some-
thing for herself and took up
fitness, but he questioned
why she was doing it.
‘‘What are you doing it for?
Who are you doing it for?’’
he would ask.
But she persisted and
eventually his control
became overbearing and he
physically and verbally
assaulted her.
She called the police and
took out an order protecting
her and the family.
He was not allowed back,
but continued to harass the
family, until the district pol-
ice investigated and charged
him with dozens of inter-
vention order breaches.
The family fears the day
Jake is released from prison
because intervention orders
do not stop him from har-
assing them.
Shayna is considering
going interstate, but is
bound by the laws relating
to custody of her children.
* Not their real names.
HELP IS AVAILABLE
800 RESPECT 1800 737 732: 24-hour,
National Sexual Assault, Family and
Domestic Violence Counselling Line for
anyone who has experienced, or is at risk of,
family and domestic violence and/or sexual
assault.
Lifeline (24 hours): phone 131 114
Translating and Interpreting Service
(free): phone 131 450
Mensline Australia: phone 1300 78 99 78
Supports men and boys who are dealing with
family and relationship difficulties.
Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277 or
Vic (03) 9261 8700
Support groups and counselling on
relationships, and for abusive and abused
partners.
Police or Ambulance: 000
WHAT CONSTITUTES ABUSE?
The White Ribbon Campaign’s definition of verbal
and emotional abuse:
Verbal abuse: Continual ‘‘put-downs’’ and humiliation,
either privately or publicly, with attacks following clear
themes that focus on intelligence, sexuality, body image
and capacity as a parent and spouse.
Emotional abuse: Blaming the victim for all problems in
the relationship, constantly comparing the victim with
others to undermine self-esteem and self-worth,
sporadic sulking, withdrawing all interest and
engagement.
Efficient loans
A new council-based
method of collecting pay-
ments for energy-efficient
business loans came into
effect this week.
Under new Environmental
Upgrade Agreements, busi-
nesses can borrow money
through an approved lender
to pay for environmental
upgrades to their building,
such as solar panels, double
glazing and energy-efficient
lighting.
Their local council will
then collect the repayments
through the rates system and
pass them on to the lender.
This allows building own-
ers and tenants to pay back
the loan at a low rate, while
benefiting from the lower
costs of a more energy-
efficient building.
Previously only the City of
Melbourne offered the
council-based financing
mechanism, but it is now
available to all Victorian local
councils under the Local
Government Legislation
Amendment (Environmental
Upgrade Agreements) Bill
2015, which came into effect
on November 1.
● More information is
available from the
Department of
Economic Development,
Jobs, Transport and
Resources website
www.ecodev.vic.gov.au
IN BRIEF
Obesity action
CANBERRA: Supermarket
giants Coles and Woolwor-
ths have signed up to a new
Federal Government push
to curb obesity.
Rural Health Minister
Fiona Nash has announced
a new healthy food partner-
ship involving supermar-
kets, health experts and
food industry groups, which
will come up with ways to
get people eating healthy.
‘‘Australians under-
consume fresh fruit and veget-
ables and this presents a dual
opportunity — increasing
consumption of fresh produce
would benefit both consumer
health and Australian farm-
ers,’’ Senator Nash said.