In India marriage is regarded sacred and even quintessential for a woman and Divorce gets it stigma. Indian Divorces rate is 1%(Report from Org for Economic co operation and Development). It has gone up from 1 in 1000 to 13 in 1000 (Still lowest in World). The longer the relationship lasts, the more difficult it is to get separated. You might get so used to your married life that life beyond and out of marriage might seem unimaginable. It is tougher to end long-term marriages, but ending it might be inevitable in some cases. Mid-age divorces are called “grey divorce,” “silver or diamond splitters,” referring to the color of the hair of the partners. Death of the spouse, or separation (legal or otherwise), appears to affect both the sexes in different ways and the psychological effect of these events is immense. This “invisible”group specially women are vulnerable both socioeconomically and psychologically and challenges many conventional views and assumptions about them. With womenfolk becoming increasingly economically independent and more aware of their rights, there is a growing trend of refusal to continue in an abusive or unsatisfying marriage, and divorce rates too are on the increase .

1. Col Mukteshwar Prasad(Retd),
MTech(IITD),CE(I),FIE(I),FIETE,FISLE,FInstOD,AMCSI
Contact -9007224278, e-mail –muktesh_prasad@yahoo.co.in
for book ”Decoding Services Selection Board-A Career in
Armed Foces As An Officer” and SSB guidance and training at
Shivnandani Edu and Defence Academy
Psychology of Divorce

2. Story of Uttama (Markandey Puran )
 Markandeya related how king Uttama (Son of Utanpad,2nd son of Swambhu
Manu and Suruchi) banished his queen Bahula for bad temper, and helped a
Brahman to find his ill-tempered wife who had been carried off by a Demon. He
was rebuked by a Risi for his own conduct of banishing his wife . King recovered
the brahman's wife, whose bad temper was consumed by the Raksasa who had
kidnapped her.
 A Naga king had taken the queen to Patala, and she was hidden by NagaKing’s
daughter Nanda.The brahman changed her nature by performing Mitrabinda
Yagya.The Raksasa restored her to king Uttama .She bore a son, who became
the third Manu, Auttama .
 Lesson
 Irrespective of ill or otherwise nature of wife/husband couple must stay
together . Jindagi ki sarthakta Vivah ko sambhalne ka naam hai.
 Hamari Sanskriti men Larki ka doli Larke ke ghar aata hai aur arthi hi us
ghar se nikalta hai.
 Nature can change provided we spend our time and effort together with
requisite softness and getting over our Ego
 Patience pays and ultimate happiness and bliss of togetherness can not

4. Stressors in Indian Context
 Dowry
 Cellular family as against earlier combined family
 Old dominating attitude of In-Laws on both sides
 High expectations of Bahu in family and modern girl
outside
 Economic constraints and expectations of earning as well
as homely girl
 Interference and wrong teaching to newly wed from
parents
 Late marriages as against early marriages early with no
time for adjustment
 Grooms’s parents feel their control on their boy has
depleted
 Well educated with better worldly exposure of brides
 Change in ethics and values and lure for all goodness of

5. Introduction
 In India marriage is regarded sacred and even quintessential for a woman
and Divorce gets it stigma. Indian Divorces rate is 1%(Report from Org for
Economic co operation and Development). It has gone up from 1 in 1000 to
13 in 1000 (Still lowest in World).
 The longer the relationship lasts, the more difficult it is to get
separated. You might get so used to your married life that life beyond and
out of marriage might seem unimaginable. It is tougher to end long-term
marriages, but ending it might be inevitable in some cases.
 Mid-age divorces are called “grey divorce,” “silver or diamond
splitters,” referring to the color of the hair of the partners.
 Death of the spouse, or separation (legal or otherwise), appears to
affect both the sexes in different ways and the psychological effect of
these events is immense.
 This “invisible”group specially women are vulnerable both
socioeconomically and psychologically and challenges many conventional
views and assumptions about them.
 With womenfolk becoming increasingly economically independent
and more aware of their rights, there is a growing trend of refusal to

6. This data does not include large no of couples living with sever
constraint relationship due to variety of reasons
States with most Divorces
are
Global Divorce rate
Maharastra 2,09,782 1960 12%
Gujrat 1,92,392 1970 16%
WB 1,62,485 1980 26%
UP 1.01753 1990 28%
AP 86,280 2000 35%
2010 41%
2017 47%

7. Divorce and Women
 Divorce rate the worldwide has been increasing steadily.
 As women become more independent financially, their acceptance
levels come down in direct proportion to their financial stability
(Dobson, 2006).
 They become more vocal and are willing to sacrifice their family for the
sake of independence.
 Although it is not a good sign for the society as a whole, which has to
depend on family structure, it is inevitable.
 Both men and women are responsible for this alarming trend.
 Continuing in an abusive and unsatisfying marriage has had
greater effect on the psyche of spouses and children rather than
opting to be parted amicably or through court.
 Several reasons have been cited for opting out of marriages these days–
increasing violence, cruelty, character assassination, alcoholism,
problems of adjustment especially in a joint family, growing
individualism of the wrong type, extramarital affairs and the undesirable
impact of the outside world in terms of falling values and lack of role
models.

8. Divorce and Women
 Divorce has been rated as one of the most stressful out of large potential life
events, with a large general impact on the life situation of those who
experience it
 Empirical studies also repeatedly show that marital dissolution is
associated with a number of social problems e.g.
 Smaller social networks
 Lack social support .
 Experience negative life events and physical and psychological ill-
health.
 Likely to be exposed to economic hardship
 Exhibit substantially higher admission rates in psychiatric clinics and
hospitals than individuals in intact couples, and they more often suffer
from anxiety, depression, anger, feelings of incompetence, rejection
and loneliness.
 Exhibit a higher mortality risk, particularly behaviour-related mortality
such as suicide, motor vehicle accidents and homicide
 More often die from coronary disease and cirrhosis of the liver, a cause
of death that is often a consequence of alcohol abuse

9. Divorce and Women
 Women report more marital complaints and report them earlier than
men.
 Men are more likely than women to remarry, and they do it quicker
 The level of psychological distress was significantly higher for individuals
immediately after divorce than in the following years but divorce implies
“permanent strain” in the individual
 Divorce affects the well-being of women and men in different ways. For
example,
 Men have higher incomes after divorce, which would predict lower
levels of distress.
 Men depend on marriage for social support
 Men report a significant increase in alcohol abuse.

10. Divorce and Women
 Women experience negative psychological well-being as …..
 Generally have the main custody of children, if any, and are more
likely to experience task overload
 They invest more in the family, take larger responsibility for the
marriage, and therefore perceive divorce as a greater failure than
do men
 Some studies have found that women's psychological well-being is
more negatively affected by a divorce
 Women exhibit higher levels of depression following divorce
 Employment as a source of income has an injurious effect on women's
psychological well-being because it demands time, energy and
concentration in
 Employment and
 Domestic tasks
 Dismal rates of remarriage among women in developing countries like
ours because
 Remarriage of older widowed men are with younger women
 Remarriage of older women to younger men are much less common

11. Divorce and Women
 Divorced women may be better off
 for traditional gender roles (e.g., the unequal distribution of unpaid
household work) than single men
 According to the “role accumulation” or “role expansion” perspectives
o gainful employment improves women's psychological well-being
o Work experience may be positively correlated to self-confidence,
o Fellowship with colleagues increases the social network and gives
a broader anchoring in life.
o Employment is also assumed to be a source of personal identity
and fulfilment

12. Divorce and Women
 Understanding Women Divorce
 Widowhood and divorce are distressing events in the life of an individual,
with associated psychological ramifications.
 It is compounded among women owing to particular social and cultural
aspects, which lead to increased feelings of guilt, remorse and
aloofness.
 Generally we reject depressive symptoms and behavioural changes as
something socially and culturally acceptable which may be harbingers of
psychiatric illness often requiring attention (medical or otherwise).
 Hence psychiatric help must be encouraged
 Laws for divorce/remarriage and associated problems like custody of
children,pension,property etc must be simplified and implemented strictly

13. Divorce and Men
 Research indicates life after divorce for men is more traumatic than it is
for women, taking a more significant emotional toll and physical
deterioration.
 Women file for divorce 70% of the time, and when it’s a shock, with no time to prepare
— that has a marked impact on how men handle divorce.
 Many men, come to the abrupt realization that it was their spouse who
invested the lion’s share of work into maintaining relationships during
the marriage — and now those connections are justifiably retained by
her and lost to him. Hence vital support net work is missing.
 Men are less likely to seek professional help.
 They bottle their emotions, believing that talking about their feelings
or shedding tears makes them somehow “less of a man.”
 “Toxic masculinity” — a term for harmful stereotypes of afraid to ask
for help from friends, family, physicians, or qualified therapists
(Being a man) affects men’s .They do not even see Physicians.
 Mental,
 Physical,
 Emotional, and

14. Divorce and Men...2
 Divorce mean the inability to see their children they were accustomed
to while married as usually mother gets children’s primary custody and
he becomes a “weekend dad.”
 Extra time to reflect builds up Anxiety in men as they worry about
missing out on their children’s events and milestones, and losing the
ability to help their children grow up with their dad constantly at their
side.
 Men’s health declines after divorce
 Divorce impacts men’s health more than women
 After divorce, there is no longer a partner to encourage healthy
habits or discuss everyday concerns.
 Longer grieving period means men’s day-to-day activities become
more sedentary and healthy routines fall by the wayside.
 Men are more than twice as likely to suffer from post-divorce
depression than women.
 Anxiety and hypertension are common in men after divorce, which
can result in cardiovascular disease, sometimes cancer. .substance
abuse and in the worst cases, suicide.

15. Divorce and Men...3
 Men must meet financial obligations
 Meeting strict financial obligations in the form of maintenance /compensation/alimony is a
primary source of stress for men after divorce. They find tougher time making up for lost
income.
 New relationships only patch the heartbreak
 Women, so often the instigators of divorce are more ready for a fresh life.
 Men set up for years of hurt and are never properly or professionally dealt.
 Being afraid to be alone, and so they rush into new relationships.