Fdl jun scene

FOND DU LAC EDITION | WWW.SCENENEWSPAPER.COM | JUNE 2015
SC NE E
Haase Pedals
Across America

L2 | SceneNewspaper.com | Fond Du Lac | June 2015
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June 2015 | Fond Du Lac | SceneNewspaper.com | L3
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FOND DU LAC
EDITION
Advertising deadline for July is June 20 at 5 p.m. Submit ads to ads@
scenenewspaper.com. The SCENE is published monthly by Calumet
Press, Inc.The SCENE provides news and commentary on politics, current
events, arts and entertainment, and daily living.We retain sole ownership
of all non-syndicated editorial work and staff-produced advertisements
contained herein. No duplication is allowed without permission from
Calumet Press,Inc.2015.
PO Box 227 •Chilton,WI
53014 •920-849-4551
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CONTENTS
SCENE STAFF
Publisher James Moran • 920.418.1777
jmoran@scenenewspaper.com
Associate Publisher
Norma Jean Fochs • 715.254.6324
njfochs@scenenewspaper.com
Editor Michael Casper • 920.344.0036
mcasper@scenenewspaper.com
Ad Director/Sales Greg Doyle • 920.251.8944
gregdtdoyle@yahoo.com
Graphic Designer
Ericka Kramer-Baker • 920.602.2297
ebaker@scenenewspaper.com
CONTRIBUTORS
L16
L12
Here it is Dairy Month, and we don’t have a story about one
single cow in the entire edition. Where’s Ogden Nash when you
need him? Or Michael Perry, for that matter?
What we do have is an incredible story about a local athlete...
Dave Haase. He’s what some may call a “nut.”
Get this...he’s riding his bike across the United States. Sure, it’s been done before. But he’s
doing it competitively, and trying to win a race. He’s also doing it on very little sleep. In fact,
on the first leg of his journey he won’t sleep for the first 40 hours. Think of that. Try doing
anything, much less riding a bicycle across deserts and mountains, for forty hours straight!
My buns are numbing up just thinking about it. I can barely get through half a workday
without a midday siesta.
Dave is going the first forty with no shut-eye. Then, when he does take a break, it will only
be for an hour or so nap before he saddles up once again. And so it will go, from one coast
to the other, as fast as he can physically go.
Nuts? Maybe. But, Dave is a different breed of cat. Looking at him you can tell he has
zero body fat. Talking to him you can feel his competitive zeal and determination.
His undertaking may sound a little crazy to we, the lumpy masses with body fat levels that
are most easily measured by the bucket...but we are not Dave.
Also within your SCENE this month, all things interesting including food, drink, live en-
tertainment, Father’s Day, politics, fashion, homage to our flag, humor, art, and much more!
Enjoy.
Michael, Editor
Fond du Lac
and surrounding
south valley
FROM THE EDITOR // MICHAEL CASPER
COVER STORY
L6 D
FINE ARTS
R8 F
FOOD & DRINK
L16 U
ENTERTAINMENT
R10 L
NEWS & VIEWS
R14 R
OUTDOORS
L12 F
GREEN CHOICES
R28 S
EVENT CALENDARS
R42 Live Music
L20 The Big Events

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BY MICHAEL CASPER
The Race Across America is not for the
faint of heart, legs, lungs, or mind.
It’s a non-stop bicycle race that begins
in Oceanside, California, and this year
finishes in Annapolis, Maryland. Approxi-
mately 3,000 miles climbing over 120,000
feet of mountains, across vast deserts, in
heat, rain, and cold, through 14 states, and
all in a span of nine days.
Dave Haase, owner of Attitude Sports
in Fond du Lac, and Pewaukee, has done
this before, several times as a matter of fact.
This month he’s attempting it again.
Michael: You do this solo?
Dave: I do, but I have a support team
that follows me, making sure I continue
to ride my bike nonstop for what we hope
is about 22 to 23 hours per day. I’ll get
about an hour of sleep a day. Our game
plan is to ride without stopping for the first
40 hours, sleep for an hour and a half, and
then continue at about 22 hour intervals
with 2 hours of off-bike time.
Michael: Isn’t sleep deprivation used as
a form or torture? How do you train for
how this will mess with your mind?
Dave: Working a lot of hours in the
bike shop, riding before work, riding after
work. Experiences from other races helps,
and this is the fifth time I’ve done this par-
ticular challenge.
Michael: How did you do the first four
attempts?
Dave: The first time I didn’t finish, and
ended up in the hospital in West Virginia,
400 miles from the finish. The second
time I did it was in 2005, I finished fourth.
The third time was 2006 and again finished
fourth. The last time I did it was in 2008
and I finished third, but I was always the
top American finisher.
Michael: Athletes from around the
world participate?
Dave: Yes. A guy from Austria has won
it the last two years. There are three or four
solo female racers too.
Michael: How many athletes do this
every year?
Dave: This year there are forty solo
racers, and there are team divisions with
two, four or eight-person teams.
Michael: How many in your crew?
Dave: This year I have the most I’ve
ever had, at ten. One will strictly work to
move the crew up the road...he’ll be in an
RV taking care of the rest of the crew. I’ll
have a follow van with a driver, a navigator,
a decision maker, two nurses in charge of
my nutrition and hydration, checking my
blood pressure and other things to ensure
I’m working and performing optimally.
Michael: You live in Fond du Lac. How
do you train for the drastic changes in
elevation you encounter?
Dave: I just don’t worry about it. I
can’t be gone from work to train in the
mountains, and generally speaking I’m
pretty good in the mountains. Heat is the
issue for me. We bike across the deserts of
California, Arizona, and into Utah. Some-
times it’ll be as hot as 120-degrees during
the day, and as cold as maybe 30-degrees
at night.
Michael: Having done this before, in the
heat, have you ever hallucinated...seen
mirages?
Dave: For sure (laugh). In the desert,
you look down the road, and it’s straight
and it looks as though it never ends.
There’s a particular stretch in Monument
Valley where the road seems to go forever.
You see incredibly beautiful mountains
way off in the distance.
Michael: After the start in Oceanside, is
your competition ever in sight, either in
front or behind you?
Dave: At certain points in the race
you’re literally racing a racer, two or three
hours up the road. Then they may sleep,
and you might catch them. But ideally
you want to race to your optimum level,
because you can only go just so fast. You
Haase Pedals
Across America

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COVER STORY // S
can’t race to beat the guy at 100 miles, you
have to race to beat them at 3000 miles.
Michael: Speaking from experience?
Dave: I made that mistake. I went too
hard at points when I should have relaxed
a bit, because you have to get all the way
across the country (laugh).
Michael: What does you family think of
all this?
Dave: They used to think it was crazy,
but now it just normal. I do other races
throughout the year, not as extreme as this,
but this year I did five 500-mile, 24 to 36
hour nonstop races. My family gets a little
nervous, and worries about it, but they also
know I’m going to do this no matter what.
Michael: When you cross the finish line,
are there people along the route going
crazy and cheering?
Dave: It depends on what time of day
you finish. Usually there’s nobody there.
If you arrive during the day, there will be
people there, but if it’s three in the morn-
ing, you’ll have your crew cheering, but
that’s about it.
Michael: What does go through your
mind when do you finish?
Dave: It’s kind of a weird thing. You
get so fired up to do this, it’s a great accom-
plishment, and then you get to the finish...
and it’s almost a let down. You’re so happy
to be done, but then in reality...it’s just time
to go back home, and back to work. It
takes about a month, when it finally sinks
in. That’s when I’ve had a sense of having
achieved this.
Michael: Tell me about what IBM is
doing for, and to you.
Dave: They host a convention called
IBM Vision 2015. It’s put on by IBM and
Watson Analytics. I was on a stationary
bike at the convention, riding for five or six
hours creating data, they had me swallow a
thermometer that emits a radio frequency
that charts my core body temperature.
They measured data and analytics as I
pedaled on the stationary, and we’ll be able
to use the information they gathered and
downloaded onto an iPad. We can base
race-decisions upon things like my core
temp, the power I’m putting out, the posi-
tion my body is in on the bike which can
determine whether or not I’m well rested,
the affects of weather, wind direction, tem-
perature, the amount of sleep I’ve had, my
recovery.
Michael: What makes you want to do
this race?
Dave: I want to do it every year, but
the cost is prohibitive. I have 10 people,
I have to get them across the country...I
don’t expect them to volunteer. The entry
fee alone is $3000, and my total cost comes
to around $20,000. I’ve had some good
sponsors, and sometimes local people will
come into the store and give me 50 or 100
bucks to do it.
Michael: You’ll be wearing a GPS during
the race so people can follow you.
Dave: That’s right. It’s kind of funny
because people afterward have said, ‘I was
following you as you went, and checked
every couple hours, but it didn’t look like
you were going very fast (laugh).’ Well,
I’m on a bike, not in a Camaro...I’m not
moving that fast!
Michael: But anyone can follow you on
the web.
Dave: On the Race Across America
website, or davehaase.com where we’ll
have all the
race data,
and if things
work the way
they’re sup-
posed to we’re
going to live-
stream all the
data that we’re
c o m p i l i n g
from IBM.
You’ll have the
same dashboard my crew has, and you’ll see
my speed, my heart rate, all the stats.
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NEWS & VIEWS // HEARTS TO HEROES
Walleye Weekend 2015 is excited to
announce the All New Hearts to Heroes
Charity Motorcycle Ride on June 13. The
theme for this year’s ride is “Ride for a
Ride” with proceeds benefiting the Ameri-
can Legion Riders; the nation’s largest war-
time veterans service organization. Spon-
sors of the ride include: Mercury Marine,
Bergstrom Toyota Scion of Oshkosh, Open
Road Harley-Davidson, J.T.L. Repair and
Salute The Troops.
The festivities will kick off at Open
Road Harley-Davidson at 11:00 a.m.
with registration & a pre-party featuring
live music, raffles, food & more! The ride
will depart at 3:00 p.m. for a scenic ride
through southeast Fond du Lac County
and will arrive at Walleye Weekend
between 4:45 – 5:15 p.m. where riders will
parade into the grounds for VIP parking.
There will be ample time for camaraderie
with fellow riders, visiting with ride spon-
sors, and enjoying the music of Rooftop
Jumpers. Between 7:45 – 10:00 p.m.
Hairball, a wildly popular rock & roll trib-
ute band, will entertain guests with music
that pays homage to some of the biggest
arena acts in the world. Fireworks will con-
clude the evening at 10:00 p.m., sponsored
by Glacier Hills Credit Union.
According to Rick Patton, Director of
Veterans Services, Fond du Lac County,
the funds raised will benefit the American
Legion Riders and will be used to purchase
a new van.
“The Fond du Lac County Veteran
Service Office Transportation program
provides transportation to our elderly
and severely disabled ambulatory veterans
who can no longer drive themselves due
to age or disability reasons and do not
have friends or family who can transport
them,” Patton said. “All of our vehicles
have been purchased with donated funds
from veteran service organizations and the
community, not with county tax dollars,
and our drivers are volunteers. We antici-
pate our oldest van will need to be retired
in 2017 due to age and mileage and this
“New Vehicle Fund” is set up to serve that
purpose. We anticipate that when that time
comes, the van will have between 180,000
and 230,000 miles on it.”
According to Lori Thiel, Managing
Partner of Open Road Harley-Davidson,
Open Road Harley-Davidson is excited to
be a part of an event that highlights and
benefits veterans.
“An all new event embracing and hon-
oring those who have served our country
is a sincere privilege,” Thiel said. “Open
Road Harley-Davidson, an inaugurating
partner of this event, feels it’s a great way
to give back to the many local men and
women who have helped shape our way of
life. This event touches the patriotism in
all of us with an opportunity to pay it for-
ward. Whether you’re a rider or non-rider,
Walleye Weekend is the place to be.”
Ride registration is $25 per rider or $35
two-up, and includes: ride, festival admis-
sion & entertainment, collectible pin, raffle
ticket, meal voucher and premium parking
at Walleye Weekend (bikes only). The ride
is rain or shine on Saturday, June 13 and
all makes and models are welcome (2, 3 or
4 wheels). Pre-registration is available on
the Walleye Weekend website at www.wall-
eyeweekend.com, in-store at Open Road
Harley-Davidson (24 S. Rolling Meadows
Drive, Fond du Lac) or at JTL Repair
located at N5756 Co Rd D, Fond du Lac.
For the 23nd consecutive summer,
the streets of downtown Ripon will be
filled with the sound of music when the
Ripon Summer Concert Series returns.
This year’s series includes a greater variety
of music than ever before. Organized by
Ripon Main Street, Inc., the free outdoor
concerts kick off with Wisconsin’s premier
blues band Reverend Raven on Friday,
June 5.
“Main Street has scheduled a diverse
group of entertainers encompassing a
wide range of musical styles,” noted Craig
Tebon, Ripon’s Downtown Manager. “We
tried to select bands that would appeal to a
variety of people.” This year’s schedule fea-
tures a wide range of musical styles, with
several community favorites returning to
the lineup including Sam Llanas, formerly
of the BoDeans, Tuba Dan, Copperbox,
and the Dave Steffen band.
The concerts run from 7 to 10pm and
take place at the Village Green located at
the corner of Watson and Seward Street in
downtown Ripon. A variety of beverages
are available and participants are encour-
aged to bring lawn chairs or blankets to sit
on. No carry-ins are allowed in the park,
beverage sales help cover entertainment
expenses.
Tebon mentioned several local busi-
nesses have committed to sponsoring
the music series, but additional sponsors
are still needed. “We are grateful to have
their support, because there would not
be a concert series without their financial
assistance” said Tebon. Donations of any
amount may be given and can be sent to:
Ripon Main Street, Inc., P.O. Box 365,
Ripon, WI 54971.
Ripon Main Street, Inc. invites you
to enjoy an evening of entertainment in
historic downtown Ripon and discover
the charm of small town hospitality. Visit
downtownripon.com for more informa-
tion and the complete summer schedule.
Ripon Summer Concert
Series Set to Return
HEARTS TO HEROES
Charity Motorcycle Ride
DIDYOUKNOW?
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Clearwater Harbor

FOOD REVIEW
BY JAMIE LEE RAKE
If you’re anything like I am in this way,
you may look at a restaurant’s menu online
and see one item that compels you to drive
there. Other eateries may already be favor-
ite haunts of yours, and when they offer a
new item that looks especially good to you,
you’re game to try them. Other places may
be out of your usual rounds, but their sur-
roundings and culinary approaches keep
you coming back to sample more of their
wares.
All three of the above reasons to eat out
come into play for this month’s review. Not
entirely by design, the trio of experiences
involve what some have called nature’s
perfect food: the egg.
You might figure that if there’s out-of-
town travel involved in chowing down on
edible hen droppings, one of those meals
is going to be breakfast. Right you are,
dear reader, but did you also figure that
it might also involve fish? My only other
prior encounters with seafood for morning
meals involve leftovers Grandma Rake’s
leftover salmon patties and adventures
in African-American soul food
that include croquettes similar to my late
granny’s and shrimp with cheese grits. But
a trip to the Badger State’s Holy Land was
in order to take in the trout and eggs at
Eden Cafe (303 W Main St, Eden, at the
corner of County Highways B and V).
Half of the butterflied filet of the
freshwater swimmer in question might be
enough for some appetites, and that can
be had for $2.60 less than the whole thing.
But how good that whole thing is, fried
to a golden brown, with its ever so slight
fishiness adding to the fulsome flavor of its
tender flesh. With those eggs (my mood
was for basted ones that day), toast and
American fries, it was filling without being
oppressively heavy. After a full night’s sleep
without any snacking before bedtime, the
entire trout just may not be an unreason-
able portion to power a body through until
lunch after all. And though lemon and
tartar sauce weren’t offered, the entree was
so tasty on its own that the condiments
may have only complicated a savoriness
that stood well on its own.
Special note should be taken of those
fries as well. Hash browns and the seem-
ingly more standard American cut of
sliced potatoes are available, but what
a pleasure it is to find a breakfast
nook that offers cubed American fries
prepared to be crispy on the outside,
nearly fluffy inside. Sometimes the
littlest things can upgrade the sim-
plest meal from really good to great.
The Belly Buster at Waupun’s
Golden Cup Cafe (400 E. Main
St., at the corner of Main and
Madison) was already a great deal
of food, consisting of a half pound
patty that’s 35% smoked pork belly
and 65% beef, topped with fried
onion chunks, bacon and a combo
of lettuce-tomato slices and pickles
on the side. But the recommenda-
tion of one of the Cup’s food ser-
vice providers, as evidenced by the
colorful tent on the sides of estab-
lishment’s booths and tables tout-
ing it, has resulted in the Buster’s
transformation into simply The
Belly Burger. Ironically, it’s even
more of a gut buster with the
addition of one more
protein-rich topping.
If you’ve been paying
attention, you know
that topping to be an
egg. Gloriously messy
as this munchable
monstrosity already
is, ordering that ovum
over hard was one of
my better decisions the
day I first sunk my teeth into one of those
treats. On a more personal note, since
cerebral palsy makes me a one-handed
diner, next time I order a Belly Burger
(and, Lord willing, there will be numerous
next times), I’ll have it cut in half before it
meets my hungry gaze. That should make
it at least a bit less messy.
Fries at Golden Cup merit mention,
too. Pickle fries, that is. My previous sam-
pling of deep-fried, battered pickle chips
at a barbeque joint in Waukesha left me
underwhelmed. Since I was trying one
new thing at one of my favorite home
town locales to score a veggie omelet, how-
ever, why not try its recent addition of dill
spears slathered in batter and dipped into
hot oil as well? The salty plant flesh makes
for a peculiarly addictive duo with the
crispy, light coating surrounding it. Ranch
dressing for dipping, which you’ll have to
request, adds a complimentary creaminess,
but next time I’m of a mind to order them,
it would be good to have a friend along to
split the sizable order.
My pastor kidded me about eating
“health food” when I told him of The
Belly Burger, but he shouldn’t be so sar-
castic about the Salad Nicoise at Mayville’s
healthy grocery & cafe The Natural Way
(35 S. Main St.). What must have been my
first French food since last going out for
crepes in Cedarburg is Chef Earl’s prepara-
tion of the literally Nice dinner salad on a
rectangular plate filled with chunks of cold
grilled tuna, artichoke hearts, baby spin-
ach, little tomatoes, diced boiled potato,
mushroom slices, olives, celery, cold and
crisp green string beans, and sunflower
seeds, and a halved hard boiled you-know-
what! All over which is lightly doused with
a sprinkling of lemon vinaigrette. Perhaps
sensing
a general regional distaste for them, though
I’m personally game for them...Earl forgoes
the traditional inclusion of anchovies in
the mix. Though she’s arguably speaking
from a position of bias, Earl’s partner in the
Way, nutritionist Patty Roskopf stopped by
my table to offer that the dish on the plate
before made made for the perfect meal.
She has a point.
She and Earl also have a penchant for
nigh divine desserts. My first trip to their
eclectic emporium ended in my ordering a
piece of the their chocolate lava cake. What
tasted like a hint of raspberry flavor in it
turns out to be an affect of the fermented
chocolate used in the recipe. Topped with
freshly whipped cream, it’s worth the price,
which happens to be only $3 less than
the salad mentioned above. Expect me to
report on a hot main dish, which may be
a weekend brunch, at this most delightful
Way some time in the near future.
And For Another Dessert...
Going to Kwik Trip convenience
stores is more about the reliably scrump-
tious, fairly inexpensive sandwiches and
the breakfast and chicken barbeque pizza
variations than anything else for me. But
a recent addition to their pastry selection
will earn my return at least a time or two.
Raspberry Crowns look and tastes like
open face turnovers: buttery, flaky crust
surrounding and upholding a fruit filling
that is, like the old Canada Dry Ginger Ale
jingle put it, not too sweet. If it looks like
a Danish without icing, no reasonable soul
would blame you for thinking so. Sorry
Triple Chocolate Bismarck, it looks like
you’ve moved to #2 when it comes to my
favorite KT goodie.
Next month: Sausage party in Madison!
FOOD & DRINK // FOOD REVIEW
The Natural Way’s chef Earl Gesling and nutritionist Patty Roskopf.

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FINE ARTS // ART ON THE ISLAND
The Fond du Lac Artists’ Association (FDLAA) invites everyone to Lake-
side Park’s Oven Island in Fond du Lac from 10 until 4 Sunday, June 7.
Approximately 70 artists from the all over the Midwest will exhibit a vari-
ety of arts and crafts including paintings, ceramics, jewelry and more.
A silent auction will be held with funds raised benefitting a scholarship
program offered by FDLAA.
The Fond du Lac Artists’ Association (FDLAA) invites the public to attend
in its 47th Annual Summer Arts & Crafts
High School Seniors who received this years Fond du Lac Artists’ Assoc.
Birkholz scholarships are Todd Petri, of St. Mary’s Springs Academy, and
Sarah Hansen, Alexandra Olson, and Lauren Elwing, all of Fond du Lac High
School.
Sarah Honaker, of Winnebago Lutheran Academy received the Arnold and
Meta Firle Scholarship offered through the Fond du Lac Area Foundation.
The silent auction will be ongoing all day with select tables closing at 2:30
p.m. 3 p.m. and 3:30 p.m.
The Silent Auction items are donated by the artists in the show.
Vendors will be selling their artistic creations throughout the day. Food
will be served by the Fond du Lac’s Noon Optimist.
The children’s area will be buzzing with creative kids drawing, painting,
creating crafts projects and more. Live music by Love Sum will fill the air
through the afternoon along with Betty Trent Face Painting.
Admission is free. We are inviting those who are handicapped to park on
Oven Island. Come out and support our local artist and our future artists!
There is something for everyone and a great way to spend time with your
family in our wonderful Lakeside Park.
47th
Annual ART on the ISLAND

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ENTERTAINMENT // NICK OLIG
President BM:
Yo, I found your name and site by accident while Googling ‘Nips Ogle,’ and I guess I’m not the best speller in the world.
Anyway, I gotta call bull on some of your sentences and stuff. Keeping a positive state of mind might be a challenge to a bum,
but I’m here to tell you that life really isn’t that hard. If you want to succeed, all you’ve got to do is man up, get out
there and grab the world where it hurts, and correctly guess all six numbers of the Powerball drawing like I did.
Listen here, crybaby. I’m a first-time reader, last-time reader. Name’s President Boobs Magnet. There was a different, worse
name on my birth certificate, but I decided to remix my whole persona the day I earned my man card by winning that $550,000,000
jackpot. I also celebrated with family and friends by raging at a Chuck E. Cheese’s on Ecstasy. Looking back, a lot of cool
stuff went down on my 18th birthday.
After skimming through a story you did, I believe you’re overdue for a swift boot to the butt, courtesy of the boot of a
millionaire. And my boots are made of diamond-studded gold, so you’d best have an insurance card, son. Your big words don’t
scare me. Hell, anyone can self-publish two books. I did! The first was called Books Are for Losers. I’m too rich to care about
the irony. It’s 70 pages of dope rhymes plus some finger paintings inspired by Breaking Bad. My second effort was The Powerbal-
lin’ Pimp, an erotic pop-up book that has been banned in 24 countries and parts of the Bible Belt.
So, heed my advice. Even though you failed to win the Powerball on your 18th birthday like so many other losers, you can
still make something of your life. As we say at the marina, you must pull yourself up by the bootstraps before you can pull
your head out of your butt, and when I say “self,” I mean “balls,” and when I say “butt,” I mean “purse.” You’d better stop
making excuses, reach skyward for that brass ring, and show that Powerball who’s wearin’ the pants.
The idea of me reading your gripes is whack. You think my life has been perfect and painless? What about those hard fought
17 years when I didn’t have an 11-figure bank account (if you include the cents?) Do you think I could afford the Batmobile
from Batman Begins when I bought my first car? Hell no. I had to wait until I was 18 to do that. My dad’s hookup as the owner
of a dealership could only manage me a measly 2009 Lexus. And did I complain? Not often.
And do you think I’ve lost my drive just because I’ll never have to work another day in my life?
Go frig yourself. I stay busy. My Tuesdays and Thursdays are dedicated to chugging bottles of blue
Gatorade and Cristal and whizzing off the top of a parking garage.
Also, my weekends are pretty well booked with the ultimate test of endurance: Marathons. Sex mara-
thons, that is. And they don’t always go perfectly. This one gymnast from Switzerland even left me
with a bruised hip that kind of hurt for two days. So no, to answer my original question, my life is
NOT all perfect and painless.
You know, not everyone has what it takes to hire disgraced Food Network personalities to cook their
meals, or pay the principal ten-grand to fart into the microphone on graduation day, or visit the
White House to see the quote-unquote “real president” only to give that broke-ass chump the finger, but
winners find a way to make it happen. So, quit feeling sorry for yourself, manifest your destiny, and
tell those 1: 175,223,510 odds they should have their doubts about YOU.
Real Ballers pick their own numbers, by the way. Do you think a stroke of genius like 11, 19, 29,
32, 54, 12 was an accident? Get real. Those are the numbers of my favorite players on the Patriots. I
put my trust in the reigning champs with Tom “Gisele Bangin’” Brady as the Powerball and BOOM! A cool half-billion, yo. And
if the haters wanna scoff at P-Ball 12 and his four-game suspension, they should know that the penalty was going to be a lot
worse before I bribed the commissioner with a spaceship.
If you don’t have the spine to get rich like me and those football dudes, so be it. But I’ll tell you what the best part of
being insanely wealthy is. It’s claiming Devils Lake State Park as your backyard, having all the knuckleheads who run onto the
field during ballgames brought to you in chains and set loose in the wild like frantic prey—with former pop star Aaron Carter
to serve by your side as gun-caddy, wingman, second banana, source on what it’s like to have a Backstreet Boy for an older
brother, lackey, and personal slave. A.C. is learning the hard way that real friendship means answering the freaking fan mail I
sent him in like 2003, when I just wanted to know why I wasn’t invited to “Aaron’s Party.” And that’s what life is all about.
As for this “fan mail,” I’m just about ready to drop the microphone. In closing, maybe I can deliver a bombshell to prove a
point: I didn’t even win the jackpot on my first ticket. In fact, all the numbers were wrong on that one. But did I surrender
to defeat? No. I learned a lesson—to never trust “quick pick” ever again. Then I looked at the other ticket I had bought, and
that was the winner.
Now that’s what I call perseverance.
Your’s truly with a Microphone Drop,
President Boobs Magnet
Advice from a Powerball Winner
BY NICK OLIG
I don’t want to be melodramatic, but
life is hard. It can be staggering. We’re all
surrounded by hardship and adversity, and
that’s just the way it is. Sometimes I feel like
I’m teetering on the brink of hopelessness,
and I’ve never even had to endure a riot in
Baltimore or an earthquake in Nepal, never
been among the unlucky ones picked by
God or the lack thereof, and told without
sympathy: “Now deal with THIS.”
But I’ve been told to calm down and
quit my griping—to persevere in the face
of that hardship and adversity. That was the
gist anyway, of the advice I got from a com-
menter on my blog. And I’ve decided to
turn his missive over to you. It’s the mani-
festo of a young man with a bold claim to
all the answers. He might actually be on to
something, and I’ll leave it to you to feel
happy or sad about that. Here’s the phi-
losophy of a brash go-getter who referred to
himself as “President Boobs Magnet.”

June 2015 | SceneNewspaper.com | R1

R2 | SceneNewspaper.com | May 2015
FOOD & DRINK // BREWMASTER
BY O’SO BREWING COMPANY
3028 VILLAGE PARK, PLOVER, WI
54467
Typically when our team samples beer to
write this fine article, we go out and purchase
the beer or look at our in-house stock and
find one that jumps out at us. We
do this so that you, the consumer
is able to understand what drove
us to the particular brewery or
style. It may be a really catchy
name or an eye-grabbing label, or
one that we saw advertised in our
beer magazines that piqued our
interests.
Well, this sample is a bit differ-
ent. This month’s beer was sent to
us from O’so Brewing Company
of Plover, Wisconsin. Because
this beer “arrived” at our place, we
chose to take a different approach
to the tasting portion. We did
not read the label (other than the
name) and did zero research on it
prior to pouring it. Here is what
we found when we tasted a 750 ml
bottle of Goldilock’s Revenge.
With a name such as Goldi-
lock’s Revenge, we all assumed a
golden colored beer. We quickly
realized that was not the case. This
beer poured very dark, dark-as-
night dark actually, with an appeal-
ing creamy brown head, and great
foam stability. With a look at the
label we see that this is a Smoked
Imperial Stout aged in used oak
brandy barrels. The label depicts
Goldilock’s sporting an angry smile
while she holds up a decapitated
stuffed bear’s head in a revengeful
manner. Very fitting for what’s inside.
We used standard 4 ounce straight sided
glasses for the sampling and allowed the beer
to warm up to about 50 degrees. Our team
differed on the nose of this sample. Three
of us indicated a light or nondescript nose
with faint smells of cedar. The other three
(including myself) sensed a nice complexity
of raisins, tobacco, chocolate, currant, coffee
and a pleasant smokiness. I personally think
that the nose showcased all components of
the beer; smoke, Stout malts, brandy, fruit
and wood. Very impressive thus far!
The flavor profile is quite a bit more com-
plex than its nose. The smokiness is obvious
as well as the roasted malt characters and the
assertive bitterness from the hops. The flavors
leeched from the wood barrel certainly has
brandy notes paired with tart cherry, ash and
bakers chocolate. The higher alcohol content
has a warming sensation as it slides so bliss-
fully down your throat. As this beer finishes,
the oakiness, and fruit really jump out. The
body is medium and it finishes roasty and dry
with the alcohol showing presence once again
with its warming capabilities. Definitely not
harsh or astringent, just very pleasurable.
Goldilock’s Revenge should age quite well
with the many layers blending together, and
even better over time as long as the area it is
stored in remains dark and on the cool side.
Now let’s discuss the fine folks that are
behind this beautiful brew. Marc and Katina
Buttera began their life together in school and
started a family earlier than most. At age 19
they moved with their son Dylan to Stevens
Point to attend Midstate Technical College
and enjoy the birth of another child Daniel.
Marc graduated in Mechanical Design and
Katina in accounting. As if they weren’t busy
enough, Marc also started home brewing with
guidance from a neighbor.
Marc’s profession sent the family to
Tennessee, but the beauty we all know as
‘Wisconsin’ drew them back. While they
continued to play the corporate game, they
began moonlighting by opening a home
brew store called Point Brew Supply. After
outgrowing the 200 square feet of their
original shop, they moved to another loca-
tion in Point. Their hard work and devotion
continued on a successful path and
in 2007 moved the home brew
store to Plover, Wisconsin and
added O’so Brewing Company to
the mix. Again growth continued
and another move was imminent,
this time to Village Park in Plover.
This allowed Marc and Katina to
expand their brewery operations
and their home brew store, but also
allowed them to add a Tap Room.
Their Tap Room is a must-visit
to experience the many fine beers
they brew as well as a nice variety
of guest beers brewed by other
Wisconsin breweries.
O’so brewing has always done
a wonderful job with their beers,
but what stands out the most is
their commitment to the brewing
industry. As we at Stone Arch were
working diligently on our labora-
tory, many (and I mean many)
questions continued to surface.
After a quick conversation with
Marc, Stone Arch Head Brewer
Connor was invited to Plover to
work side-by-side with his Quality
Control Manager to learn the art
of laboratory procedures. As if
that wasn’t nice enough, Marc also
sent Connor back with invaluable
documents to help our laboratory
get jump started, and instituted
almost immediately upon return.
For that we have deep gratitude for Marc and
his lovely wife Katina.
FINAL WORD: Support really good
people that brew really good beer….sup-
port O’so Brewing Company! Goldilock’s
Revenge is a beer that you will not want to
pass up. Whether you age it, or consume it
right away, you are truly in for a treat. Cheers!
Goldilock’s Revenge

Tickets, Info and Camping Passes, visit:
www.midwestsunsplash.com
Waterfront Park,Sister Bay, WI.
10693 North Bay Shore Drive, Hwy 42
MUSIC FESTIVAL

FOOD & DRINK // GRASS ROOTS FOOD
BY BONNI MILLER
Backyard chickens? Sure. But today’s homesteading buzz is
all about the backyard rabbit.
Rabbits grow quickly, using proportionately a fraction of
the water and other environmental resources of larger animals.
They are easily housed and handled, and are an excellent and
prolific source of uber-healthy protein. Unlike chickens, they’re
very quiet. And these small, famously amorous animals are a
very big idea in sustainable agriculture.
An indication of rabbit’s trendiness surfaced not long ago
in an unlikely place. Referencing its relatively tiny ecological
footprint, a recent article in Vogue magazine touted rabbit as
the next “ethical meat.” And rabbits are indeed low impact
livestock with plenty of merit. One female rabbit can easily
produce 75 to 100 pounds of meat a year. And a handful of
breeding rabbits could fill most of the protein needs for an
average family in a space barely larger than a dog kennel, if
raised conventionally (in cages), and with quality feed pellets.
Many new rabbit farmers prefer to pasture graze their
animals, though, just as many large-animal graziers do. Even
then, a space no bigger than an average backyard can provide
enough “pasture” for several rabbits, if managed properly.
Rabbits raised on pasture tend to grow somewhat more slowly
than conventionally raised rabbits, but they develop a better
nutritional profile.
“When you start thinking about where your food comes
from,” rabbit farmer Tommy Enright said “given the choice
between animals raised indoors in cages and on concrete, or
animals raised out on grassy pasture, why would I support the
former?”
Enright and his wife, Samantha raise the Silver Fox breed
of rabbits at their Black Rabbit Farm in Amherst. Silver Fox are
a rare and historic breed that fell out of favor with rabbit rais-
ers in recent decades, but like other heritage livestock breeds
have seen a resurgence of popularity in recent years. In a time
when people are increasingly conscious of their food decisions,
raising an at-risk animal such as Silver Fox or American Blue
rabbits, and increasing the diversity of our food supply, has
become part of a larger, more ecologically responsible mindset.
Historically, rabbits have been an essential player in the
quest for self-sufficiency. During WWII, both in the U.S, and
abroad, too, rabbit raising was encouraged by governments as an
easy way for families to contribute to national security. Adding
to their appeal, rabbits present exceptional value beyond their
meat. Not only is their fur warm and soft, but the manure of
rabbits is an outstanding garden fertilizer. Hence, rabbits can
feed the garden, and the trimmings from a rabbit-fed garden
can go back to feed the rabbits. It’s a beautiful efficiency.
Culinarily, rabbit meat is often compared to chicken
or turkey. It takes well to all flavor profiles, and can be used
interchangeably in any recipe normally used for chicken. It’s
even leaner than chicken breast, with more protein than beef.
It’s high in vitamins B12 and E, and those wonderful omega-3
fatty acids. It’s easily digestible and a great choice for the
elderly and those recovering from injury.
Trendsetting chefs across the country are embracing the
growing popularity of rabbit meat, featuring delicious rabbit
pates, confits, and braises on their menus.
Take note that commercially raised rabbit that’s offered in
grocery stores is often meat that’s been raised in China and
shipped overseas. It pays to seek out a local farmer to buy it
directly from them or their market outlets if you want a fresh
and superior product. When preparing rabbit, keep in mind
that it’s very lean and be careful not to overcook it, or it could
end up a bit dry. Again, it’s comparable to chicken breast. Cook
it fast and hot, or low and slow, for best results. Bon appetit!
Cookit!
RabbitwithDijonSauce(Adapted from Bistro Cooking by Patricia Wells)
Serves four
Cooking time: 1 ½ - 2 hours, mostly unattended
This simple braise showcases the flavor and
versatility of domestic rabbit meat and is easily
made at home on a lovely, lazy day.
Ingredients:
Loins and hind legs from two rabbits (reserve the
rest of the rabbit for stock)
½ cup dijon mustard
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tablespoon butter
1 bottle of dry white wine
2 medium onions, finely chopped
1 tablespoon flour
Several branches of fresh thyme or 1 teaspoon of
dried thyme
1 bay leaf
Chopped fresh parsley
Tools:
a pastry brush, parchment or waxed paper to
set the raw rabbit on while it marinates, a large
heavy non-reactive skillet (preferably stainless
steel or enameled cast-iron), tongs, platter
About an hour before you intend to cook
the rabbit, lay the cuts out on the parchment or
waxed paper and paint with dijon mustard using a
pastry brush or your fingers. Season well with salt
and pepper and let it come to room temperature.
Heat the oil and butter in the skillet and fry
the rabbit over medium heat until browned and
golden. Do this in batches if need be.
Remove the rabbit from the pan to the plat-
ter and set aside. Add a few tablespoons of wine
to the skillet and deglaze, stirring any browned
bits from the bottom of the pan. Leaving the
liquid and flavorful browned bits in the pan, add
the chopped onions and cook until they’re soft
and browned at the edges.
Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the
flour. Add the rest of the wine and the herbs and
stir to mix. Add all the pieces of rabbit. Bring the
liquid just to a boil and immediately lower the
heat to maintain a gentle simmer. Cook slowly,
turning the pieces of meat occasionally, until
the rabbit is tender and the sauce is reduced and
starting to thicken.
Arrange the meat on the serving platter,
drizzle some of the sauce over top, reserving the
rest to serve on the side, and garnish with the
parsley.
Year of the
Rabbit

Urban Evolutions

BY KIMBERLY FISHER
What island are you on? As we come
into the summer months, wouldn’t it be
amazing to explore the world, take on
many adventures and surround yourself
with great wine? I can take you there.
Though it may be through the exploration
of wine growing islands, I will show you
the true beauty and define the best varietals
in some of the world’s greatest island wine
regions.
SICILY: After centuries of stagnation,
this historical and fascinating island is now
one of Italy’s most vital and improved wine
regions. Sicily is very hot and irrigation
is a necessity for a good half of Sicilian
vineyards. There are countless grape variet-
ies grown in different parts of the Island.
One of the most iconic producers of the
Island is Planeta, which has a winery in all
of the Island’s major DOC’s. Planeta has
been instrumental in the study of Sicily’s
climate, terroir and is a leader in match-
ing varietals to their best growing regions.
Marsala is Sicily’s classic fortified wine,
produced in both dry and sweet styles from
the Catarratto, Grillo and Inzolia grapes.
Some of Sicily’s best wines are made from
the indigenous red variety Nero D Avola,
and the region’s only DOCG, Cerasuolo di
Vittoria, is a blend of Nero D’Avola with
Frappato.
SARDINIA: This
Island off Italy’s west
coast produces a rela-
tively high proportion
of DOC and DOCG
wines when compared
to most other regions
of the south. One
of the most notable
grapes grown on the
Island is Cannonau di
Sardegna. Cannonau
is the Sardinian name
for Grenache. One leading producer on
this Island is Sella and Mosca, and even Dr.
Oz agrees about this unique wine having
been featured in his magazine with the
proclamation to “Drink Cannonau wine
and live past
100.”
NEW ZEA-
LAND: One of
the most remote
wine producing
wine regions in
the world, his
Island nation
is a relative
n e w c o m e r
to the global
wine industry.
Having limited
landmass, its
wine produc-
tion is fairly
small, but the
country has made a significant name for
itself. New Zealand is comprised of two
main Islands. The North Island is warmer
and leads in the production of red wines.
Hawkes Bay located on the North Island,
produces more than 70% of all of New
Zealand’s red wines, and the unique soil
made of a mix of sedimentary sandstone
and gravel allows Bordeaux varietals to
grow well.
In the South Island, the Marlborough
region is now home to nearly 60% of all
of New Zealand’s vines. The most explo-
sive growth has been in the planting of
Sauvignon Blanc and top producers such
as Cloudy Bay, Brancott, and Nobilo
have given this region prominence in the
production of Pinot Noir and especially
Sauvignon Blanc.
No matter which Island you chose
no matter what adventure you are seek-
ing, worthy Island produced wines are
available. This summer go to your own
Island and take in the rich history, or get
enriched with the newness that it has to
offer. Whatever you chose, you will not
be disappointed.
From the Wine Cave
FOOD & DRINK // FROM THE WINE CAVE
Have you ever finished your dinner, but then found yourself hungry close to bed
time? You’re not alone – plenty of us feel the need to snack as the night progresses, and
luckily, studies have deduced the perfect nightcap: wine!
Recent studies have pointed out that wine can help diabetics, and improve your sex,
but apparently, wine is also a great way to prevent midnight munchies.
According to Linda Monk, a 47 year-old woman who lost 6 pounds in three weeks,
the benefit of having a nightly glass of wine is that the treat suppresses her cravings for
unhealthy snacks like “sweets, and chocolate.” Instead, the moderate portion of wine
makes her feel sated without going to town on the late night eating.
Linda is gleaning advice from Tim Ferriss’s book: The 4-Hour Body.
Ferriss champions the theory that if you enjoy a little wine in the evening, you’re
more likely to feel satisfied and thus less inclined to give up on dieting. Red wine is
supposedly preferable to other snacks.
According to The Daily Mail, a study that took place over the course of 13 years at
Harvard University found that amongst a group of 20,000 women, those who drank
half a bottle of wine a day lessened their risk of obesity. As half a bottle is the equivalent
of two glasses, Linda and the other women seem to be living proof of the study.
40 year-old Samantha Merrit is another woman who sings the praises of nightly
wine, claiming “the calories don’t seem to have made an impact on the bathroom
scales…Now, I can happily say no to a dessert and I treat myself to a glass or two around
four nights a week.” Besides her appetite being
satisfied, Merrit also credits the wine with help-
ing her sleep and feeling less anxious.
As is always the case, the trick is moderation.
While having a glass or two before bed is a good
substitute for going crazy on chocolate snacking,
drinking too much wine can leave you consum-
ing more calories than a late night binge, and
leave you feeling pretty hung over for work.
Stick to 1-2 glasses if you want to curb your
hunger, sleep better, and feel less deprived.
For more, visit vinepair.com
Wine before Bedtime

June 19-21, 2015
Custer, WI
WORKSHOPS | EXHIBITORS | ENTERTAINMENT
Volunteers,members,kidsunder12,anddadsonFather’sDaygetinfree!
The Mustache
Main Stage
Friday at 7:00 p.m.
midwestrenew.org
$5offentry
with coupon
$10/day, $26/weekend before June 5 | $15/day, $35/weekend at front gate
TS

SangriaI borrowed this favorite from Emeril Lagasse...I promise it’ll put you in mind
to sit on the patio and shut out the rest of the world.
Ingredients
1 (750-ml) bottle red wine
1/4 cup brandy
1/4 cup orange flavored liqueur
(recommended: triple sec or Grand
Marnier)
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons fresh orange juice
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 orange, thinly sliced
1/2 lemon, thinly sliced
1 unwaxed apple, cored, and cut into thin
wedges
1 (750-ml) bottle sparkling water, chilled
Directions
Combine everything but the sparkling water in a large plastic container or
glass pitcher. Cover and chill completely, 1 to 2 hours. When ready to serve, add
the sparkling water.
FOOD & DRINK // TRICIA’S TABLE
BY TRISH DERGE
Have you ever had a meal, seated across
from your husband or boyfriend, and
wonder to yourself, “Does he even taste what
he’s eating? How does he manage to inhale
all that in such a short span of time? He’s
like a young wolf! I’d bet that if I reached
my hand across the table in proximity to
this gastronomic force of nature, he’d nip off
the end of a finger or two and never break
mandibular stride.”
For those who have observed the
sometime unappealing way men consume
their food, you may be happy to know that
there’s newly discovered science behind
why.
Yes, a new experiment conducted by
several emaciated researchers at Semyung
University in South Korea have confirmed
that (fanfare!) men eat their food much faster
than women.
Guess what
they concluded
as to why?
Men take
bigger bites and
chew at a faster
pace.
Stop the
presses! Really?
Didn’t see that
one coming.
The team initially set out to study
the relationship between “chewing rates
and obesity” for the journal Physiology
& Behavior. But the results showed a
stronger correlation between chewing and
gender. Makes sense.
They conducted
the study by attach-
ing electrodes to the
jaw muscles of all 48
participants; 24 men
and 24 women.
They then mea-
sured the speed at
which they consumed
152 grams (about a
cup and a quarter) of boiled white rice.
Though the study group was very small,
the researchers concluded that, “men have
significantly different chewing performances
compared with women.”
The team found that eating behaviors
vary “significantly by obesity status,” but
the discrepancy was more pronounced
between men and women.
The team of researchers hope to use
these findings to inform gender specific
treatments of obesity in the future.
They could have saved a lot of time and
grant money last November if they’d have
only accepted my invitation to Thanksgiv-
ing dinner, and focused their study on my
brother-in-law Bob.
Fast Eaters
Are Mostly Men...
Eating Dark Chocolate at
Work INCREASES Productivity
Finally, some facts to back up what I’ve been claiming forever!
If you start feeling soporific at work today, this new study
might perk you up.
The group of now pimply-faced scientists from Northern
Arizona University have conducted a study, and concluded
that eating a piece of dark chocolate may activate your
brain in a way that helps increase your levels of attention.
They enlisted 122 study participants, (why they
didn’t call me...I don’t know?)
Using electroencephalography (which is a fancy
way of saying they attached wires to their 122
heads) they then examined the participants’ brains
after eating dark chocolate, as well as checking their blood pressure.
They found that the people who consumed the dark chocolate (60 percent cacao)
exhibited the signs of alertness and attentiveness, while raising blood pressure for a short
period of time.
But, they also gave some subjects dark chocolate with an amino acid that’s found in
things like green tea...and even though chocolate is a stimulant, the L-theanine amino
acid seemed to lower blood pressure and still improve alertness.
Conclusion: Dark chocolate is good.
Another study they could have simply asked me about, but instead spent oodles of
money, expended a lot of time and effort, and never once extended an invitation.

FINE ARTS // FOXY FINDS
Foxy Finds
BY JEAN DETJEN,ARTFUL LIVING
R10 | SceneNewspaper.com | June 2015
Evoke the cool, coastal spirit of California shores with “the
ultimate Spring/Summer sneaker” by SeaVees, available
exclusively at The Haberdasher Limited, Downtown Green
Bay. Classic designs comprised of high quality materials for
long lasting comfort and style. Neutral hued styles featured
include the Hermosa Plimsoll, Baja Slip On and Westwood
Lace Up. $78 per pair in Men’s sizes 8-12 (custom orders
available).
Calling all paradise enthusiasts... Get into the mix of tropical fun with
this cute Aloha print maxi sundress by Tommy Bahama! Vintage-inspired
Hawaii-themed prints come together in the multi-paneled skirt. Made
from supersoft-and-silky rayon, it feels amazing and drapes beautifully.
Straps adjust to fit you, while the smocked bodice stretches to fit comfort-
ably. $148 in Women’s sizes XS-XL. The full bloom prettiness is calling
your name from Bill Paul Ltd. in Downtown Neenah.
Timepieces are back in a big way as functional statement mak-
ing accessories. A colorful bouquet of band colors and face styles
are yours for the picking with these trendy watches by Geneva.
Choose from solids, stripes, dots and zigzags… just a few styles
shown here. At just $19.95, pick up a few to mix up your look.
Great for gift giving! Find these at Market Boutique on Main in
Oshkosh. This eclectic independently owned shop is celebrating 5
years of business this month in Downtown Oshkosh… be sure to
stop in for special in-store promotions in honor of this milestone!

LUNCH
06/10 Traveling Suitcase
SPonsored by FNB
06/24 Boogie & the Yo Yo’z
SPonsored by Verve
Bring or buy a lunch and enjoy a mid-day break.
A variety of entertainment will be featured along
with a restaurant vendor of the week.
Wednesday evening concerts on the
multi-use concert lawn at Shattuck Park
from 6 – 8 p.m. Bring your blanket or
lawn chair. Restaurant vendor onsite.
CONCERT SERIES
EVENING
Sponsors:
FREEFREE
CONCERT SERIES
Shattuck Park [DOWNTOWN NEENAH]
Thursdays, 11:30 a.m.– 1 p.m.
Shattuck Park [DOWNTOWN NEENAH]
WednesdayS, 6 – 8 p.m.
06/04 Patchouli SPonsored by Affinity
06/11 Oshkosh Rhythm
Institute
06/18 SunRaEyes SPonsored by Bemis
06/25 Murphy’s Law DiRenzo & Bomier
SPonsored by
Neuroscience Group
Presented by ATW.

FINE ARTS // FOXY FINDS
Mixed media natural wood coasters
utilizing wood burning technique, paint,
and colored pencils. This lovely butterfly
metamorphosis set makes a special gift or
symbolic statement in all variety of work
and living spaces. $60/set, other butterfly
and animal designs available. AmazInk
Tattoos & Rainbow Warrior Studios,
owned and operated by local artist Laura
Schrampfer, is a private tattoo studio
and art gallery coming to The Draw on
the river’s edge in Downtown Appleton
this Summer. Inquiries can be sent via
Facebook page and Etsy site.
Live garden art in repurposed wood frames make a stunning state-
ment. Each thoughtfully arranged piece features a variety of succu-
lent plants in complementary textures and hues. Uniquely designed
by Urban Evolutions (UE), Inc. in Appleton. $95 and up. UE
provides reclaimed materials for home, retail, and corporate con-
struction. They also build store fixtures and residential furniture.
Add punch to your patio with Wisconsin Amish crafted
maintenance-free outdoor seating, complete with convenient
cup-holders. Constructed from environmentally friendly,
100% recycled plastic milk jugs. Fade and flame resistant
with stainless steel hardware for years of comfort and enjoy-
ment. Choose from an array of bright, juicy hues at Gabriel
Furniture in Downtown Appleton. Other styles available.
Stationary Chairs start as low as $314.
Everyone loves a good story… summon your own with signed artisan
Spiritiles from Koerten’s Fine Framing and Gifts in Stevens Point.
Enameled molten glass fired on copper and wrapped around wood. The
pieces are hand made using glad frit (crushed or ordered glass) and are
made similar to a sand painting. They are then fired in a kiln at high
heat to melt the image and adhere it to the metal. Artist Houston Llew
designed Spiritiles to be the size and weight of a “good book” because he
liked the nostalgic feel of having a book in hand. Each shimmering image
is accompanied by a quote on the side. Spiritiles easily wall hang or stand
alone. These wonderful artworks will never fade or tarnish and may be
enjoyed in sunny or humid spots where other art may not endure. Each is
made individually, so no two are exactly the same. $115 each. Shauna,
the second generation owner of Koerten’s, hand selects American made
and fair trade items to add to the store’s unique offering of gifts, art and
collectables. They feature many local and regional artists. New store hours:
Tuesday through Friday 10-6 and Saturday 10-5.

appletondowntown.org
#onegreatplace
SUMMER
CONCERT
SERIES
5:30 – 8:30 p.m.
Rain Location: Mill Creek, 417 W. College Ave.
Thank you to our Sponsors:
®
Charitable Funds
Media Partners:
Thursdays • Houdini Plaza
JUNE 4 Boogie and the Yo-Yo’z
JUNE 11 Consult the Briefcase
Opening: Eminence
JUNE 18 Road Trip (Jones Park)
Opening: Strawberry Jam Band
JUNE 25 Bad Habitz
JULY 2 Rooftop Jumpers
JULY 9 LoveMonkeys
JULY 16 Vic Ferrari Symphony on the Rocks
(Jones Park) Opening: Mistrial
JULY 23 Cool Waters Band
JULY 30 Half Empty
AUG. 6 Mile of Music 3-Band Showcase
AUG. 13 RPM
AUG. 20 Boxkar (Jones Park)
Opening: Tony Anders & The Radiolites
AUG. 27 Unity the Band
Appleton
One Great Place!
LUNCHTIME LIVE
CONCERTS
Rain Location:
Copper Rock Coffee Company
417 W. College Ave.
Houdini Plaza
Thursdays
June 4 – Aug. 27
11:30 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.

ENTERTAINMENT // LIVE FROM JAPAN
BY JAMES PAGE
THEPLAYERSPAGE@YAHOO.COM
Game of the Month:
Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episodes I & II
Developer: SEGA
ESRB: Everyone
Release Date: 10/12/2010 & 05/15/2012
System: PC/PlayStation 3/Xbox 360/Wii
Rating:
Graphics: 3.0 out of 4.0
Game Play: 3.0 out of 4.0
Personal: 2.0 out of 2.0
Total Score: 8.0 out of 10.0
Player’s Page: Sonic the Hedgehog 4
When we last left our hero, he had just
finished battling the evil Dr. Robotnik
above the planet. After successfully defeat-
ing his evil foe, Sonic was able to recover
the master emerald and save the floating
island. With evil out of the way it seems
like live can finally return to normal for
Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles and all of their
animal friends. Sonic decides to take a
vacation on his own and speeds off to new
lands.
Sonic eventually finds himself in a nice
tropical land near the water. This is the
perfect place to relax and unwind after the
challenging battles he has overcome in the
recent past. However, all is not as it seems
and soon Sonic discovers that the animal
inhabitants of this idyllic place have been
transformed into robots. This is the call-
ing card of the evil Dr. Robotnik and, as
improbable as it may seem; the evidence
seem clear that
the evil genius
somehow survived
his fall from space
and has quickly
returned to his evil
ways.
S o n i c t h e
Hedgehog 4 is the
direct sequel to the
1994 classic Sonic
& Knuckles. The game seeks to return
to the series roots by focusing on Sonic,
speed, and basic platform game play. In
addition to the focus on classic elements
the developers also incorporated a number
of elements from newer games such as a
world map, stage select, and achievements.
The developers focused on presenting the
game in multiple episodes which could
allow them to present different game play
elements while allowing each episode to be
reminiscent of one of the original games.
Each episode contains four zones broken
up into three acts and a boss battle with
a final showdown zone appearing after the
completion of the first four.
Episode I mirrors the original Sonic
the Hedgehog in many positive and some
negative ways. It features Sonic battling
through four zones which are essentially
updated versions of the zones from the
original Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic
the Hedgehog 2 with elements from each
game mixed together. The episode focuses
on Sonic and as a result there is no Tails or
Knuckles to choose from. This is because
the developers had grown tired of the end-
less parade of
new characters
and they had a
desire to return
t o a m o re
simple time.
The abilities
of Sonic are
similar to those
in the original,
and as a result
the rolling ability that has become familiar
to many people is almost nonexistent in
this episode. This leaves Sonic’s movements
feeling a bit heavy and clunky. As a result,
players will have to focus on running and
jumping to navigate their way through
each act. These restrictions on movement
can seem a bit odd but they serve to make
the game a truer throwback to the original.
Episode II mirrors the second Genesis
game, Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Unlike the
first episode, the zones in Episode II are
essentially combinations of stages from
Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic the Hedge-
hog 3, Sonic & Knuckles, and Sonic CD.
This episode features the return of Sonic’s
long time partner, Miles “Tails” Prower; as
the two friends team up to defeat the evil
Dr. Robotnik for yet another time. The
episode also reintroduces the spinning and
rolling ability that have become familiar
to many people, and as a result Episode II
has more fluid movement and game play
mechanics than Episode I.
Both episodes allow the player to col-
lect chaos emeralds by completing special
stages. In order to enter a special stage a
player will need to jump through a massive
ring at the end of each act which will only
reveal itself if the player collects fifty rings
and completes the act. Each episode has a
different special stage. In Episode I’s special
stage, which is similar to the original game;
sonic must collect the emerald by dropping
through a rotating maze, but unlike the
original; the player must contend with a
timer. In Episode II’s special stage, which
is reminiscent of the second game; Sonic
and Tails must collect a set number of rings
while running through a chute. Once a
player obtains the seven chaos emeralds
they will be able to transform into Super
Sonic which has become synonymous with
the series since the second game.
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 Episodes I &
II are great games which will remind one
of playing video games during the early
1990’s. Each episode is a standalone game
and one does not have to play Episode I
in order to enjoy Episode II. The graphics
have been updated to give a 3D feel to the
game, but the player will still be reminded
of the 2D classics. The stage select feature is
a nice addition which allows one to replay
favorite stage without needing to replay the
entire game.
When one starts to play Sonic the
Hedgehog 4, they will be amazed at how
quickly they are absorbed into the game
and how quickly time will fly.
Remember, like all games if you play
them just to have fun there will never be
a bad game.
theplayerspage@yahoo.com
Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episodes I & II

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See why at www.signaturehomesaj.com

BY DOBIE MAXWELL
Is there anybody on this planet cur-
rently among the living that doesn’t like
pizza? Everybody I know does, but then
again I don’t know everybody. I’m sure
there are exceptions to everything, but
somebody not liking pizza would raise
a major red flag – kind of like somebody
who doesn’t like sunshine or petting a
puppy. Those freaks need to see a doctor
while everybody else has fun.
While the vast majority of humankind
does enjoy the pizza experience as a whole,
the problem arises in that very few enjoy it
in exactly the same way. There are options
galore, and it becomes a challenge to find
people who all agree on what and how to
place an order at any given instance.
I always thought I was pretty middle of
the road in my pizza preferences. I prefer a
thin crust if possible, and as far as toppings
go I’m pretty flexible. Sausage and mush-
rooms will work nicely if I am sharing it
with a group, even though I like a lot of
other things on it too. But I can bend.
The lesser number of people involved
usually increases the possibility of getting
the toppings I like. I was never good at
math or geometry, but even I can figure
out which half is which just by looking. It
shouldn’t be all that difficult to please all
parties involved, but you don’t live my life.
I would like to go on record as officially
saying I am sorry for whatever I must have
done in a past life to keep getting tortured
in this one. I hope I am able to pay my
debt to the universe so I can eventually join
the ranks of those who live happily and
without incident. I’m not there yet.
The other night I was asked to go out
for pizza with a group. I wouldn’t call them
friends, but they were nice enough people
and I was flattered to get invited. We were
all hungry and went to a pizza joint I’d
never been to before. No big deal. It’s not
like I was trying a new heart surgeon.
There were six of us total, and we sat
down at a long table. I could tell there
was going to be a problem when the
drink orders got complicated. One guy
fancied himself a beer genius and had to
be informed in detail of every brand the
place offered and how it would go with
each topping.
Another guy couldn’t decide what kind
of lemonade he wanted, and went through
the complete list of every possible mixer
from strawberries to iced tea. I was about
to suggest strychnine, but it may have
started a fight and I didn’t want to have to
wait any longer. My stomach was growling.
A woman in our party had allergy issues
and wanted to know every ingredient of
everything up to and including the salt
and pepper. I was about to suggest having
a pepper mill inserted rectally but again I
held my tongue. I didn’t know these people
all that well, and didn’t need a skirmish.
All I wanted to drink was icy cold water,
but I was told they only had bottled water
and that it wasn’t free. This was becom-
ing a lot more complicated than I ever
expected, but it was only the beginning.
Had I known what was ahead I would have
excused myself and gone someplace else.
Ordering appetizers was next. I’m
pretty simple myself; a nice greasy order of
garlic bread will usually do the trick quite
nicely. If I’m going to overdose on carbs,
why not keep it simple? That way the
hospital will be able to scrape it out of my
aorta with a pipe cleaner so I can start over.
Not with this neurotic bunch. One
of them wanted to “keep it healthy” and
tried to order fried cauliflower without the
breading. Clue phone, line one – it’s the
Surgeon General. He wants you to ignore
the warning on cigarettes and light up at
will. One less idiot at a time will help us
all.
The rest of the crew took a full fifteen
minutes to debate the various items avail-
able, and after it came to a stalemate I
suggested we just suck it up and order the
pizza. We’d probably need more than one
to feed six people anyway, so we might
as well get started on hashing out those
details.
Everybody looked at me as if I were
the leader of the United Nations, but the
reason I brought it up was because I was
about ready to gnaw my arm off in hunger.
I would have gladly eaten an entire order of
lead paint chips with asbestos dip had one
been placed anywhere close to my seat.
The ordering of the actual pizzas
became an emotionally heated event that
dwarfed the Israeli Palestinian conflict
and made it look like a game of Parcheesi.
Speaking of cheese, somebody in the group
actually suggested there be a cheeseless
pizza. Really? What’s next, a meatless steak?
Since there was no hope of everybody
agreeing on one kind of pie, I threw
conscience to the wind and offered up my
favorite ingredients to see how they’d fly
with the group. One at a time mushrooms,
black olives and onions got both cheered
and jeered, but when I dropped the bomb
and threw out anchovies the table went
silent. It was as if I suggested pork rinds at
a bar mitzvah.
The woman with the allergy issues
nearly fainted, and I thought we were
going to have to put a call in for an ambu-
lance. Hey, I wasn’t being unreasonable. I
would have taken it on half of one of the
pizzas, but that got shot down like a cross
eyed crow on the first day of duck season.
I was in enemy territory, but I was fully
prepared. Those of us who like anchovies
are like Navy Seals.
There are only a scant few, but we’re
proud and vocal. I don’t know why I like
anchovies, but I do. Somebody dared me
to try them once and I didn’t flinch. Other
than the salt drying out all of my inner
organs, I thought they were delicious and
have loved them ever since. But rarely will
I get a chance to enjoy them with others.
Such is life. Some people just don’t enjoy
true delicacies.
After an intense debate we finally
agreed on toppings we could all live with.
But then came the next hurdle – crust. I
grew up in Wisconsin and love thin crust
pizza. There wasn’t much choice. Then I
moved to Chicago and was force fed
their thick crust style they are
so proud of. Why they
want to eat a cinder
block with ketchup
smeared on it is still
a mystery, but I’ve
never enjoyed it.
T h o s e a r e
fighting words in
Chicago, as are
“The Bears still
suck.” I’ve been
known to say those a lot more than any
smart person should, but I can’t lie about
how I feel. The only thing that sucks worse
than the Bears in my opinion is deep dish
pizza – with the possible exception of toll
roads, but that’s another story for another
month. Just because I live in Illinois doesn’t
make me a F.I.B.
The argument raged about whether to
order thin crust or thick, and I suggested
one of each and thought I had solved
the problem. As it turned out, thin crust
would take twenty minutes to bake and
thick would take six months to a year.
Nobody wanted to wait for the other, so
we eventually settled on thin. I was losing
my appetite to be around this group of
imbeciles but I was still ready to eat rat
poison to stop the gurgling of my stomach.
I just wanted there to be food within reach.
Finally after a wait that seemed longer
than the Cubs quest to win a World Series,
two pizzas showed up. One would think
the arguing would be over but one would
be WRONG. The server hadn’t even
placed the second pizza on the table when
someone started whining about the way
it was cut. This numbskull was used to it
being cut in squares, but it had come sliced
“pie style.”
We all ate our pizza and went our sepa-
rate ways. I haven’t seen any of them since.
I don’t plan on it, but if I do we’re going
to eat anywhere else...how about Kentucky
Fried Chicken? Let’s see – is that original
recipe or extra crispy?
To find the next live performance (aka Hell
Gig) of stand up comedian Dobie Maxwell,
visit dobiemaxwell.com
Pizzapalooza
ENTERTAINMENT // DOBIE MAXWELL

290 North Main Street, Fond du Lac • 924-4100 • www.dreherfdl.com
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‘48 Buick Roadster Custom Restoration

BY ROHN BISHOP
Saddam Hussein was a bad guy, a really
bad guy.
Following a brutal rise to power in
1979, Saddam Hussein would become
one of the most evil men on the planet,
devastating Iraq and repressing all dissent.
Saddam would use
chemical weapons
against his own
people; start an
awful war with
Iran that would
kill hundreds
of thousands of
people on both
s i d e s , b e f o re
i n v a d i n g t h e
peaceful, oil rich
nation of Kuwait
in August of 1990.
Following the
invasion of our
ally, President
G e o r g e Bu s h
declared that,
“This will not
stand; this aggression against Kuwait.”
The president was not joking.
In January of 1991 President Bush lead
a coalition of nations to liberate Kuwait
and return it to her rightful inhabitants,
addressing the American People from
the Oval Office, Bush said, “Five months
ago Saddam Hussein started this brutal
war against Kuwait, tonight the battle is
joined.”
The mission, known as Operation
Desert Storm, was a resounding suc-
cess. Saddam’s forces were removed from
Kuwait by the end of February. “Kuwait is
liberated. Iraq’s army is defeated. Our mili-
tary objectives are met,” said the president,
“We declared that the aggression against
Kuwait would not stand. And tonight,
America and the world have kept their
word.”
Some have criticized the Bush adminis-
tration for not invading Iraq and removing
Saddam Hussein, right then and there,
however, President Bush, the coalition, the
United Nations, and the Congress autho-
rized a mission to liberate Kuwait, not
Iraq. The mission was over, we had won,
and Bush brought the troops home.
Saddam Hussein remained a bad guy, a
really bad guy.
Following the war there
were uprisings opposing
Saddam, all of which ended
in the deaths of thousands
of Iraqi’s. To make matters
worse, our intelligence
agencies learned that Sad-
dam’s chemical, biological
and nuclear weapons
programs were far more
advanced than previously
known.
Throughout the 1990’s
Saddam ignored UN reso-
lutions, he would violate
no-fly zones that the UN
had put in place, he would
not disclose his weapons
programs, he was a state
sponsor of terrorism, and
attempted to assassinate former President
Bush.
Saddam Hussein had become an even
more dangerous man.
It had become so difficult to deal with
Saddam that in 1998 the Congress passed,
and President Bill Clinton signed the “Iraq
Liberation Act,” making the removal of
Saddam Hussein and a democratic Iraq the
official policy of the United States.
On February 17, 1998 President
Clinton said, “…there is clear evidence of
weapons of mass destruction program. Iraq
admitted, among other things, an offensive
biological warfare capability, notably,
5,000 gallons of botulinum, which causes
botulism; 2,000 gallons of anthrax; 25
biological-filled Scud warheads; and 157
aerial bombs. And I might say UNSCOM
inspectors believe that Iraq has actually
greatly understated its production....
Over the past few months, as [the
weapons inspectors] have come closer
and closer to rooting out Iraq’s remaining
nuclear capacity, Saddam has undertaken
yet another gambit to thwart their ambi-
tions by imposing debilitating conditions
on the inspectors and declaring key sites
which have still not been inspected off
limits...Now, let’s imagine the future. What
if he fails to comply and we fail to act, or
we take some ambiguous third route,
which gives him yet more opportunities
to develop this program of weapons of
mass destruction and continue to press for
the release of the sanctions and continue
to ignore the solemn commitments that
he made? Well, he will conclude that the
international community has lost its will.
He will then conclude that he can go right
on and do more to rebuild an arsenal of
devastating destruction. And some day,
some way, I guarantee you he’ll use the
arsenal....”
Following the September 11, 2001
terrorist attacks, America could no longer
afford to allow Saddam Hussein to remain
in power. The world believed he had
weapons of mass destruction, (WMDs).
President’s Bush, Clinton, and Bush all
believed he had WMDs. In fact, the evi-
dence was so overwhelming, that when
President George W. Bush asked congress
for permission to remove Saddam, it was
an overwhelming bi-partisan vote, passing
the Democrat controlled US Senate 77-23.
(Democrats voting to remove Saddam
included Hillary Clinton, Harry Reid, Joe
Biden, and Herb Kohl.)
The Iraq War got off to a quick and
successful start. Iraq was liberated and
Saddam’s government was toppled in short
order. Unexpectedly, a brutal insurgency
from Al Qaeda was succeeding in Iraq,
until Bush instituted the “surge” strategy.
The surge worked, Al Qaeda was defeated,
Iraq was given back to Iraqi’s, and President
Obama inherited a peaceful stable Iraq.
Obama, a critic of the war, along with
a Democratic Party that, again abandoned
a war effort for political purposes. He has
squandered this military success, by per-
petrating the lie that, “Bush lied,” or “we
rushed to war,” both started as anti-war
slogans, repeated by Democrat politicians,
liberal media outlets, and never properly
responded to by Bush. So much so, that
this lie has sunk into the popular culture
as “truth.”
It’s the lie about the truth that’s
become “the truth,” and it helped to turn
the American people against the “War on
Terror.”
This is incredibly dangerous because
this “new truth” clouds our judgment as
a county. We used the “new truth” as an
excuse to elect Barack Obama and aban-
don our efforts in the Middle East.
Liberating Iraqis from Saddam Hussein
wasn’t a mistake, electing Barack Obama
and quitting on Iraq was. Iraq had a
relatively stable pro-America government
on Obama’s first day; all he needed was a
“status of forces” agreement, easy to do, if
he wanted to. But Obama was determined
to leave zero American presence in Iraq,
and today much of Iraq has fallen to ISIS,
the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. ISIS
would like to use Iraq as a base of opera-
tions to launch a new caliphate, and ter-
rorize people into joining the “religion of
peace.” While at the same time Iran, also
a state sponsor of terror ,negotiates with
John Kerry about obtaining nuclear capa-
bilities.
Under the leadership of President
Obama the Middle East is leading us
toward a world war. ISIS beheads Chris-
tians, murders gays, treats women as slaves,
and threatens the existence of Israel.
All made possible because Americans
believe a lie about a truth that’s become
“the truth.”
Rohn W. Bishop is a monthly contributor to
the Scene. Bishop, a former Waupun City
Council member, currently serves as treasurer
for the Republican Party of Fond du Lac
County
Contact Rohn:
Email: rohnnyb@msn.com
Twitter: @RohnWBishop
When the lie about the
Truth becomes the Truth
NEWS & VIEWS // ROHN’S RANTS

NEWS & VIEWS // MEDIA RANTS
BY TONY PALMERI
My dear mom Gertrude “Trudy” Palm-
eri passed away on May 11, 2015 at the
age of 79. She and my Korean War vet dad
Frank would have been married 60 years (!)
in October. All but the last two years of her
life were lived in the borough of Brooklyn,
NY.
She was an Italian-Catholic Brook-
lynite in the most honorable sense: heart
as big as the borough, fiercely protective
of her immediate family, charmingly blunt
and witty, and proud of her accent. Oh
how I will miss that accent that typically
left me feeling nostalgic during our phone
conversations; conversations that always
started with “yeah Ant, howya doin?” and
ended with “alright I’ll letcha’ go, Love
you.” (I don’t think my mom ever called
me Tony. It was “Ant” from day one).
Trudy Palmeri was not an activist in the
traditional sense. She did not organize or
otherwise participate in rallies, she did not
lobby public officials (though she rarely
missed voting in elections), and she did not
make her political views widely known.
And yet there was something remarkably
motivational about her. I think it had
much to do with the fact that she would
much rather “walk the walk” when it came
to some core values that the so-called activ-
ists love to TALK about.
So, for example, for Trudy Palmeri
“family values” was more than a bullet
point in a Madison Ave. set of talking
points constructed for some political
phony. For Trudy, family values were a life-
style of unconditional love for those closest
to her. Family values meant being there in
body and spirit during the good times and
bad, always ready to lend helping hands
and supportive hugs. My two brothers and
I became respectable members of society
by having the good fortune of being in the
daily presence of a role model of human
decency. The world might be a kinder,
more loving place if everyone had the ben-
efit of being raised by someone who walks
that walk.
If you think about it, a child’s parents
are in a real sense the first “media” that she
or he is exposed to. Scholars traditionally
think of mass media as serving four major
functions: communicating news, encour-
aging us to interpret the news in a certain
way, communicating lifestyle values, and
entertainment. Parents do all of that in
ways that leave long lasting impressions on
their children.
Without exaggeration, I’d say that
pretty much every value that has guided
my life is a direct result of being raised in
my parents’ “Palmeri Today” show, which
ran 24/7 growing up. Every day on that
show the “news” featured acts of gratitude,
caregiving, and patience, with an overarch-
ing sense of love controlling the scene.
When I think of why I ultimately became
a teacher, I’m sure it had everything to do
with exposure to the Palmeri Today show
values. Mom especially went out of her
way to keep her own ego in check so as
to be in a better position to recognize the
accomplishments of others, an approach
toward life that all teachers reading this
will recognize as key to success in our
profession.
Here’s an example of how she walked
that walk: It was the 4th of July 1983,
and young Dave Righetti of the New York
Yankees was pitching against the hated
Boston Red Sox on an extremely hot
90-plus degree day at Yankee Stadium.
Righetti no-hit the Sox that day, striking
out the great Wade Boggs to end the game.
A no-hitter had not been pitched at Yankee
Stadium since Don Larsen hurled a perfect
game in the 1956 World Series. The next
day I got home from my summer bank
teller job and saw mom at the dining room
table writing a letter. On the table was the
New York Daily News with Righetti on
the cover and “A no-Hit Fourth” headline.
Mom explained that she was writing Dave
Righetti to congratulate him. I remember
we had a conversation that went something
like this:
Me: “Mom, I know it was exciting and
all, but it’s just a game. He probably won’t
see your letter anyway.”
Mom: (sounding disappointed in my
attitude). “No Ant, not just a game. That’s
a no-hitter. That’s big. And Righetti is Ital-
ian!”
Years later she laughed and sounded
pleased when I informed her that Dave
Righetti was inducted into the National
Italian-American Sports Hall of Fame.
In my teaching career I’ve always made
it a point to write students brief notes of
appreciation when they do something
above and beyond required expectations.
Each time I’ve done it I’ve had the vision of
mom writing that letter to Dave Righetti.
In August of 1983 I left New York to
go to graduate school. Mom cried like a
baby the day I left; she said that what really
got the tears flowing was a trinket a friend
had given me that said “teacher.” She com-
forted herself with the belief that I would
impress the teachers at Central Michigan
University.
On May 11 I cried like a baby when
mom left. I experience comfort from
the belief that when she met the greatest
teacher of all in the afterlife, S/HE gave
Trudy Palmeri an A+ for a life well lived.
Tony Palmeri (palmeri.tony@gmail.com) is
a professor of communication studies at UW
Oshkosh.
Mom and (Me)dia
If you think about it, a child’s parents
are in a real sense the first “media” that
she or he is exposed to.
Tues-Sat
11am-6pm
Continue YOUR Downton journey
17 Waugoo Ave. 235-0023

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BY JOHN PRICE
KABHIR;THE BUDDHIST ADVISER
Imagine walking across an arid plane.
Of course, you see and feel your feet as you
take your steps. You can lift your face up to
the clouds and feel the breeze against your
face. Then you look broadly forward to see
the horizon ahead of you. As time passes
while you walk, you know you are covering
territory, but the lay of the land is such that
the horizon is always there, never reached.
You know you are approaching what was
awhile ago the edge of the horizon. But it
is ever there, receding forward. You know
you are approaching it, but it is ever there,
seemingly in the same place.
From the ancient Vedic texts, on
through Buddhism, and the “My Kingdom
is not of this world,” of Christianity, there
has been the suggestion that our individual-
ity, the sense of separation from the world,
is an illusion. Sages have said that truly
realizing this illusion
and casting it off to
become one, is the
essence of enlight-
enment. Though
it is a simple and
fundamental teach-
ing, it is the most
frightening of any
of life’s accomplish-
ments. As people, we
are sentient beings;
that is, we realize our
own individuality and we define our lives
by the physical aspects of our human-ness.
We know we were born, and as we age,
we become more and more aware of our
mortality.
Non-duality is one way to define the
idea that we are one with all. “Thou Art
That” is often used as a way of defining a
non-dual approach to life. If we are indeed
one with all, and there is no way I can
write words to convince anyone of this,
then must we not boil everything down to
a simple way, the jewel, the diamond?
Some live under the mantle of a sense
of individuality by burning life’s candle
at both ends, as it were. “Live hard, die
young, and leave a beautiful corpse,” is a
saying defining this lifestyle. Others live in
quiet ways, never questioning nor seeking
truth. Some have adopted a flippant New
Age approach to life. We could enumerate
many different ways to live, to approach
our lives. But truly, only a very few among
us live a fierce focus on one single truth.
To shake off the veil of individuality, to
commit to non-duality, is a way few have
the courage to commit to.
Why courage to commit? If our indi-
viduality, based on “ego mind,” is our way,
we put the ego in jeopardy. This in itself is
a kind of death. It is not suicidal. It speaks
of our commitment to truth.
There is truth in sentience, but it
indeed is a fleeting truth, like that spoken
of in the Buddha’s Diamond Sutra. Think
about it: is not living one’s life in the
oblivion of all the trappings of the ego, not
a self-aggrandizing way of life, all of which
have dead ends? Money, status, power, all
of these end like dead-end alleys. There is
nothing lasting in it. If sentience implies
being aware of our own death, then a
double-layered metaphor suggests no end,
but dead-end alleys.
Implied by sentience is a never-ending
desire for this or that. “If only,” could be the
motto of a life of sentience. We are ever
driven by a desire to improve one thing
or another. In a way, beneath the sentient
life lay a dissatisfaction with anything.
Because nothing lasts, we labor under
the guise of never achieving anything
permanent. Buddhism, of course, has
impermanence as its underpinning.
Individuality evaporates into noth-
ing in a life recognizing the futility
of “permanence” and along with it
a fundamental understanding of the inter-
relationship of all things.
Sentience is in a way like being a
completely aware embryo inside an egg.
You know you’re in a shell, and you just
keep pecking, keep trying to expand your
world. Then, Bam! You’re outside, and
then, as Bob Dylan asked, “Are birds free
from the chains of the sky?” Yet another
layer of seeking is born. But, in these many
columns I keep on and on, writing about
things too simple to put into words. Yet I
am compelled to do so.
There are so many metaphors one can
use to illuminate the concept of sentience.
A goldfish in a bowl, realizing it is encased;
the embryo in the egg, or the child in the
womb. It seems that countless depictions
of human life can poetically describe our
existence. But no matter
what we use to describe
it, sentient beings,
aware of our own
mortality, are short of complete. I realize
I live inside the cocoon of being a human
being. If I adopt a good posture, it’s fun to
be alive. But it falls short of completeness,
of enlightenment. So I accept without
question the ultimate truth of our con-
nectedness to all things. So difficult it is to
grasp and live, but to all who have expe-
rienced it, it is vastly complete. To live in
completeness. What an idea.
The arid plane’s horizon is forever there
for us encased in our sentient bodies and
minds. But perhaps the great sages are
right, and we can reach that horizon and
make it disappear when truth comes to us.
Book Recommendation
Through a series of events seemingly
unrelated to actual seeking, books of the
Enlightenment Trilogy by Jed McKenna,
have come into my life. I had planned to
write about sentience and individuality in
this column this month before I was
aware of Jed McKenna. But here are
his books! And this is precisely the
focus of them. I didn’t find the author
through research or any actual seek-
ing, but a kind friend purchased the
books for me as a generous gift. By that
time, it seemed like he was coming at
me from many directions, none of them
from my own seeking. If you want
to read books written in plain
English, dealing with the
essential teachings of living
with meaning, the truth in
these books is a great read.
The Horizon of Sentience
ENTERTAINMENT // BUDDHIST ADVISOR
Thus, shall ye think of all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bauble in a stream;
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream.
—Buddha (Diamond Sutra)

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