This document describes an interactive writing activity where students retell a common story in their own words. Students first watch a short video of the story together. They then work in pairs to outline how they will retell the story for homework. Over several days, students write and revise their retellings, providing peer feedback on grammar and story elements. The teacher collects student work to track progress and provides feedback to help students improve their writing skills, particularly around verb tense and dialogue.

1. An interactive computer based writing correction activity using story retells
Brian Gabriel Major briangabriel2003@yahoo.ca
The purpose of these writing exercises is to have students work on a
common story which they have all seen/heard/experienced. This allows
them to see the myriad ways that one story can be retold and manipulated
and it also gives all the students in the class the ability to evaluate
the qualities or deficiencies of any retelling as well as the grammatical
correctness of the piece; so although grammar may have some precedence,
aesthetics also has its place in these peer corrections even at the
intermediate level.
Students view a short video (i.e. 20 minutes) which is the basis of
their homework. They are directed to focus on the action of the story
rather than the dialogue which may sometimes be difficult. After
viewing, students try to rebuild the storyline in pairs which will be the
outline of their homework. Students are also encouraged to speak together
about the story over the weekend as reminders.
Providing students with a script is to help the students reconstruct
the story but should only be used as an adjunct. They should not rely
too heavily on the script and are allowed only a couple of direct
quotations but more indirect quotations which helps them with their
control of say/tell.
Having a set homework allows the students to do pre-writing thinking
to ease the writing task. Students are given four days to complete the
homework assignment. (Thursday to Sunday) Students are taught to either
choose to write in the present or the past but not to confuse the two.
Students are reminded to consider what is known or unknown. (a/the)
Appropriate use of verb tenses are always brought up in correction
explaining the cases in the story/writing. Is it habitual, is it
punctual, is it imperfect/continuous? Is it simple past, past
continuous? Is the past perfect needed? Are the verb tenses dictated at
all by gender? i.e. who uses more modals, past perfects?
Retelling the story! Who, what, where, when, how and… why! This is
quite revealing and you can reveal to your students that stories written
by boys will tell what happened but girls often will not only tell what
happened but also explain why and the consequences and of course the
emotions felt. So you can request more from the boys!
Peer correction helps to break down fossilizations. Students soon
come to realize which mistakes are popping up time and again and begin
more active self-correction. Students become more aware of the role of
different verb tenses with these peer corrections. They come to “feel”
when a simple past is needed or a past continuous or a perfect tense.
They learn to control direct and indirect speech culling it from the
dialogue. They learn to incorporate native English expressions which
they find in the dialogue. They also become more sensitive to spatial
relations as the stories are well grounded in specific places which the
students are instructed to include in their writing. They also increase
their sensitivity to time as the stories follow a strong time line.
Using a video as a source material keeps the students focussed on the
actions and how they need to be expressed in English.

2. As for the teacher, stories should be chosen where there is
sufficient contrast in the stories’ characters so that the students have
dramatic elements and points of view to retell.
Students should be given every opportunity to view and review the
story as needed. Some stories are available on youtube but otherwise
students should be given access to DVDs for their work and scripts should
be given so that students can in fact benefit as much as they are
prepared to do so.
All homeworks are inputted into the school computer so that the
teacher has access to them. Each student should have their own file
folder. Each homework should have its own file. Each homework will
eventually have multiple versions.
Basically, the original, the original corrected by the teacher, those two
combined into a third homework where the two (original and corrected) are
placed side by side in a table. And this last version has to be
manipulated by the student to prove to the teacher that he/she has indeed
reviewed the homework and seen the nature of the corrections.
Addressing copyright…
Feature Films
UBC has a special institutional Feature Film Public Performance
Licence that allows thousands of feature films to be shown at
the University for educational purposes without any further
payment. The licence does not cover the use of documentary
programmes. Any legal copy of a feature film covered by the
Licence can be shown at UBC, including videos/DVDs from a video
store, public library or personal collection. To determine if a
feature film is covered by the Licence, search the online
catalogues of the two distributors covered by the Licence:
 Audio-Cine www.acf-film.com
 Criterion Pictures www.criterionpic.com
This is a Birth story of Super
Man.
An emergency meeting is called
at the planet of Krypton.
Joe=EL of the superman’s father
is warning the assembly that
the planet of Krypton will be
destroyed by the sun.
But the assembly laughs at him
as a crazy. He is disappointing
them, but he continues to make
a rocket in order to escape
from Krypton.
This is the birth story of
Superman.
An emergency meeting is called
on the planet of Krypton. Jo-
EL, Superman’s father, is
warning the assembly that the
planet of Krypton will be
destroyed by the sun.
But the assembly laughs at him
as a crazy man. He is
disappointed in them, but he
continues to make a rocket in
order to escape from Krypton.

3. At the day of Krypton
collapse, Joe and his wife let
their baby ride on a small
rocket. The rocket is launched
safely, but the planet of
Krypton becomes destroy.
The rocket falls off the earth
and the baby is found by Mr.
and Mrs. Kent. They decide to
raise the baby as their child.
They name the baby Clark.
As Clark grows, he realizes
that he is different from other
children. Mrs. Kent talks him
about he is not their
biological parents.
When Clark is 25 years old,
Mr. Kent collapses from hart
shock. He sees a doctor, but he
becomes death. Clark and Mrs.
Kent is sad.
Clark decides to go to the big
city. Mrs. Kent tells him that
he must use his great power for
justice.
Clark goes to the Metro
Police. He wants to become a
journalist, and he goes to the
Dairy Planet for joining that
company. He asks Mr. White of
the chief editor, but Clark
can’t meet him because he is
busy. When Clark sneaks into
Mr. White’s room, the reporter
tells Mr. White about emergency
news. The reporter tells that a
man hung from a airship. The
reporters go outside quickly to
get that information. Clark
requests Mr. White to join the
company, if he can get some
information from the hung man.
Clark turns into a Superman
and he flies in the sky. He
catches the hung man in the
sky.
Clark can get interview from
the hung man, and his article
decorates one side of the news
paper. Mr. White keeps his
promise to Clark, and he can
join the Daily Planet.
The success of Superman begins
this way.
On the day of Krypton’s
collapse, Joe and his wife let
their baby ride in a small
rocket. The rocket is launched
safely, but the planet of
Krypton becomes destroyed.
The rocket falls onto the earth
and the baby is found by Mr.
and Mrs. Kent. They decide to
raise the baby as their child.
They name the baby Clark.
As Clark grows, he realizes
that he is different from other
children. Mrs. Kent talks to
him about their not being his
biological parents.
When Clark is 25 years old,
Mr. Kent collapses from a heart
attack. He sees a doctor, but
he dies. Clark and Mrs. Kent
are sad.
Clark decides to go to the big
city. Mrs. Kent tells him that
he must use his great power for
justice.
Clark goes to Metropolis. He
wants to become a journalist,
and he goes to the Daily Planet
to join that company. He asks
to see Mr. White, the chief
editor, but Clark can’t meet
him because he is busy. When
Clark sneaks into Mr. White’s
room, the reporter tells Mr.
White about some emergency
news. The reporter tells that a
man is hanging from an airship.
The reporters go outside
quickly to get that
information. Clark requests Mr.
White to join the company, if
he can get some information
from the hanging man.
Clark turns into Superman and
he flies into the sky. He
catches the hanging man in the
sky.
Clark can get an interview
from the man, and his article
is published on the first page
of the newspaper. Mr. White
keeps his promise to Clark and
he can join the Daily Planet.
The success of Superman begins

4. this way.

5. 300 Haruka Ellen Comes Out
At a restaurant in a hotel, Ellen and
Richard were talking. They met
yesterday for the first time in 5 years.
Susan, his boss came to them and join
the conversation. Ellen and Susan
found they have common interest and
they got along very well each other.
Having enjoyed the conversation,
Ellen and Richard went to his room and
Susan went to her. In his room, he
seduced her but she hadn’t had an
experience before, so she was nervous
and didn’t have courage. She left the
room and met Susan and went to her
room. At first they were talking
normally, but just after Susan came out
that she was gay Ellen felt nervous
again. Susan said she had thought
Ellen also was gay then she felt
nervous much more and escaped form
the room. She went to Richard and
kissed him.
The next day, at the bookstore she
was managing, she said to her friends
W 300 Haruka Ellen Comes Out
At a restaurant in a hotel, Ellen and
Richard were talking. They met the
day before for the first time in 5 years.
Susan, his boss, came up to them and
joined the conversation. Ellen and
Susan found they had a lot of
interests in common and they got
along very well with each other.
Having enjoyed the conversation,
Ellen and Richard went to his room and
Susan went to hers. In his room, he
came onto her but she hadn’t had an
experience before, so she was nervous
and didn’t have courage. She left the
room and met Susan and went to her
room. At first they were talking
normally, but just after Susan came out
saying that she was gay; Ellen felt
nervous again. Susan said she had
thought Ellen also was gay then she
felt much more nervous and escaped
from the room. She went to Richard
and kissed him.
The next day, at the bookstore she

6. that she had had an experience for the
first time in her life with Richard. The
friends were listening to her story
doubtfully. After having lied, she
confessed the truth to her psychiatrist.
Actually, she didn’t sleep with Richard.
She said that she felt Susan was the
person who Ellen felt she clicked with,
but Susan was woman…
After having known Richard was
going to Pittsburg, she went to the
airport. She met him and talked about
her feeling. They had been good
friends and hadn’t slept, so she wanted
him to be a good friend forever. They
promised that they wouldn’t sleep. After
having seen him off, she met Susan.
Though Ellen was not sure that she
was gay, she said to Susan that Ellen
was gay.
Because of the coming out, she had
a nightmare. In the dream, she had
been frightened by everything for being
gay. She consulted the psychiatrist
about being gay. She recommended
was managing, she said to her friends
that she had had an experience for the
first time in her life with Richard. The
friends were listening to her story
doubtfully. After having lied, she
confessed the truth to her psychiatrist.
Actually, she didn’t sleep with Richard.
She said that she felt Susan was the
person she clicked with, but Susan was
woman…
After having known Richard was
going to Pittsburg, she went to the
airport. She met him and talked about
her feelings. They had been good
friends and hadn’t slept together, so
she wanted him to be a good friend
forever. They promised that they
wouldn’t have an affair. After having
seen him off, she met Susan. Though
Ellen was not sure that she was gay,
she said to Susan that she was.
Because of her coming out, she had
a nightmare. In the dream, she had
been frightened by everything for being
gay. She consulted the psychiatrist
about being gay. She recommended

7. Ellen to come out to her friends.
At her home, she was preparing for
a party with her gay friend. Knowing
she was gay, he was delighted so
much and told her about what it was
like living a life as a gay. She was
threatened with it.
At the front of her friends, she
started to come out. At first she
couldn’t do that and talked about
Richard. The gay friend said she was
gay and she admitted it was true. All
friends were surprised but accepted the
truth. She was relieved to see that but
the next moment disappointed because
her friends had made a bet about her.
Ellen to come out to her friends. At her
home, she was preparing for a party
with her gay friend. Upon hearing she
was gay, he was delighted so much
and told her about what it was like
living a life as a gay. She felt
threatened by it.
In front of her friends, she started
to come out. At first she couldn’t do
that and talked about Richard. The gay
friend said she was gay and she
admitted it was true. All her friends
were surprised but accepted the truth.
She was relieved to see that but the
next moment was disappointed
because her friends had made a bet
about her.