2. 1. Introduction.
During mid-late childhood a lot of things are taking place. Children experience a
lot of changes not only physical but also psychological. During this period, the
emotional development and the appearance of peer and friend relations is crucial. “As
early as age 4, 75% of children in group settings are observed to have frequent,
reciprocal, cooperative, positive interactions with selected peers”[6]. It seems that
children have an instinct to be social and interact with peers since very young. The
same article suggests that the friendship is experienced for people of all cultures and
ethnicities [6].
During mid-late childhood the emotional development, self-regulation and
emotion awareness is also very important. Both emotional and social development,
establish the foundations of emotional and social behavior in adolescence and
adulthood.
I am interested in learning the development of these two processes and
approach them from the Positive Discipline Perspective. This article will also review
some concepts and tools from the Positive Discipline. The final goal of this article is to
have information to be able to help and give healthy opportunities to my child.
2. Research
3. Researchers have conducted several studies and the conclusions are clear:
developing a friendship relation in childhood influences us through our lives. Here is a
list of some benefits of friendship, just to mention a few:
- Promote the development of interpersonal skills including sensitivity to others’
thoughts and feelings and concern for another’s well-being; provide validation
of the child’s developing self-concept and promote self-esteem; and produce
feelings of personal well-being and prevent loneliness [6].
- Stimulate skill-acquisition and learning [6]
- Establish a normative culture to shape behavior [6]
- It is a safe emotional base outside the family.
- Give the opportunity to share hobbies, interests and fun activities.
- Give opportunities to practice problem solving, conflict resolution and
negotiation.
Friends and peers are also agents of socialization. From the Bronfenbrenner’s
Ecological Model, friends become an important influence in the microsystem layer [5].
They influence us in ways that sometimes parents cannot. For example, what kind of
clothes we wear, colors, cartoons, songs and other preferences. As suggested on the
book “Child, family, and community”, peers become the most influencing agents in
mid-late childhood and adolescence.
As we said, childhood is also the period were self and emotional development
takes place. During mid-late childhood, children develop in:
- Better understanding of emotions.
4. - Understanding that they can experience more than one emotion at the same
time.
- Development of effortful control, i.e. emotional self-control [2].
- Increasing the capability to understand and read feelings.
- Development of empathy.
3. Impact.
In section 1 have reviewed the benefits of having friends, but sometimes the
peer relations are dysfunctional and bad influences for our children. In this section I
am going to review some consequences of having dysfunction peer and friend
relationships in mid-late childhood. Among several problems during childhood –as
bullying and isolation-, dysfunctional relationships can lead to adulthood
malfunctioning.
Emotions and friends can be a harmful combination. Relations can affect the
way we experience emotions. This influence can be critical in mid-late childhood. Some
researches have suggested that having dysfunctional peer/friends relationships in
childhood can lead to psychological problems such as depression and isolation. [1], [6],
[7], [8], [9].
Some studies have also suggested that some peer relation problems can lead to
maladjustments in late childhood and adulthood [7]. As we can see in the picture
below, children who grew up in an environment with low peer acceptance can
5. experience less social and relational opportunities, leading to poor social and
psychological development.
Figure 1 – implicit models concerning the link between peer- relationship problems and later
malfunctioning. Source [7].
Peer and friend relations can affect the way children interact with their parents.
The more they interact with peers the fewer children interact with parents. A study
has suggested “perceptions of support for both parents were greater in the fourth
grade than in the seventh and tenth grade” [3].
Another study has suggested that dysfunctional peer relation correlates with
increased probability of suffering loneliness and depressed mood during late childhood
and adulthood [1]. And another study from 1987 has shown correlation with juvenile
and adult crime [7].
6. 4. Solution
Friendship is important for socio-emotional development. As parents we should
look closely to what kind of relationship our children have. Because the influence of
friends is crucial and deep in our children, we should monitor our children’s friends.
Furthermore, parents and schools should give knowledge and tools to ensure a healthy
emotional development. There are several ways we can approach this issue from
parents and schools.
4.1. From the point of view of Parents.
Figure 2 – Emotion awareness. Source: https://www.powerofpositivity.com/positive-changes/
Positive Discipline is a respectful perspective that states all children are good.
Only actions can be classified as good or bad. From this point of view, parents can
become agents of knowledge about emotions, self and friends. This perspective uses
techniques such a behavior management, self-regulation and emotion chart to give the
children tools and information to manage themselves.
7. With behavior management we should be able to modify dysfunctional
behaviors with positive reinforcement.
With self-regulation, we give children the opportunity to self-regulate their
actions. It is also a play of trust. We should give our children the opportunity to
manage their conflicts. Giving the opportunity to fail and fall gives them confidence
and self-esteem because they feel we trust on them and they are responsible and
capable to do it.
With the emotion chart we give our children the knowledge to self identify
what is happening and what they are feeling. The next picture is an example of
emotion charts used in Positive Discipline. We can place it in the children room after
they are 4 years. During mid-late childhood, we can use more sophisticated charts and
even more detailed explanations of feelings and emotions.
Figure 3 - Emotions chart. Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/518195500847013264/
With these tools, knowledge and our support, they would become more likely
to manage their feelings and the dysfunctional relationship.
8. 4.2. From the point of view of Schools.
Parents should not work isolated. Schools should also provide environments
where to develop healthy relationships and emotions. For example, the video The
Middle Years Development Instrument - Our Children's Voices explains that some
schools are using a test as a tool to know the socio-emotional in their middle scholars.
The name of the tool in MDI –Middle Development Instrument- and analyzes 5
dimensions in the children lives. The dimensions are: social and emotional
development, connectedness, physical health and wellbeing, school experiences,
constructive use of time. This is a powerful tool to know the average information of
every children and focus in their needs, not only curricular needs but also socio-
emotional needs. Parents and teachers can make a difference in their children lives.
Another video: Smart Hearts: Social and Emotional Learning Overview suggests
that education in emotions and communication can improve our children lives.
Communicating emotions is the way they teach children in order to resolve conflicts in
a non-violent way [v2].
Emotional Intelligence is also an important subject to teach at schools, as a
part of the curriculum. Since Goleman published his book Emotional Intelligence in
1995, the way this issue is treated has been improved. Lots of schools are using
emotional tools in order to give resources to our children to better understanding their
feelings and emotions and to better resolving conflicts. Giving emotional tools can
resolve friend and peers conflicts as arguments and bullying.
9. 5. Conclusion
Along the article I have reviewed the benefits and influences of friend
relationships during mid-late childhood. I have also reviewed the emotional
development that takes place during this period. We can connect emotion and social
development and how each other influence themselves. Giving our children
knowledge in both friendship and emotions, can correlate with healthy relationships
and even healthy adulthoods.
As I have explained in section 3, peers and friends become the socialization
agents that influence us the most. These relations give us wonderful experiences and
opportunities to grow up (fun, happiness, knowledge, motivation, etc.) but they can
also lead us to dysfunctional and negative consequences (loneliness, delinquency,
bullying, depression, etc.). Parents should offer opportunities to connect with other
children but also give knowledge and information about what healthy relations are.
Parents should provide also knowledge about recognition and awareness of emotions
that children can experience.
10. 6. References
[1] Boivin, M., Hymel, S., & Bukowski, W. M. (1995). The roles of social withdrawal,
peer rejection, and victimization by peers in predicting loneliness and depressed mood
in childhood. Development and Psychopathology, 7(04), 765-785.
[2] Eisenberg, N., Smith, C. L., & SPINRAD, T. L. (2011). Our purpose in this chapter is to
discuss the construct of effortful control and review literature relevant to its
importance, development, and significance for optimal devel-opment in childhood.
First, we review important definitional and conceptual issues. Then we review
literature on the emergence of effortful control in childhood. Next we con-sider the
issue of its role in development—for example, its associations with emotionality, moral
development, empathy, adjustment, and social competence .... Handbook of self-
regulation: Research, theory, and applications, 263.
[3] Furman, W., & Buhrmester, D. (1992). Age and sex differences in perceptions of
networks of personal relationships. Child development, 63(1), 103-115.
[4] Gifford-Smith, M. E., & Brownell, C. A. (2003). Childhood peer relationships: Social
acceptance, friendships, and peer networks. Journal of School Psychology, 41(4), 235-
284.
[5] Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2013). Child, family, and community. Boston: Pearson.
[6] Hymel, S., Rubin, K. H., Rowden, L., & LeMare, L. (1990). Children's peer
relationships: longitudinal prediction of internalizing and externaliziing problems from
middle to late childhood. Child development, 61(6), 2004-2021.
[7] Parker, J. G., & Asher, S. R. (1987). Peer relations and later personal adjustment:
Are low-accepted children at risk?. Psychological bulletin, 102(3), 357.
[8] Rubin, K. H., & Mills, R. S. (1988). The many faces of social isolation in
childhood. Journal of consulting and clinical psychology, 56(6), 916.
[9] Rubin, K. H., Hymel, S., & Mills, R. S. (1989). Sociability and social withdrawal in
childhood: Stability and outcomes. Journal of Personality, 57(2), 237-255.
[10] Santrock, John W. Children. 12th ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 2013. Print.
Videos
[v1] The Middle Years Development Instrument - Our Children's Voices
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgxscnCoPTU&list=PLDzUtc-uvjhPjHbSMUgk5x-
bMtUs6qJaA
[v2] Smart Hearts: Social and Emotional Learning Overview
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wOWEGyO60o
![1. Introduction.
During mid-late childhood a lot of things are taking place. Children experience a
lot of changes not only physical but also psychological. During this period, the
emotional development and the appearance of peer and friend relations is crucial. “As
early as age 4, 75% of children in group settings are observed to have frequent,
reciprocal, cooperative, positive interactions with selected peers”[6]. It seems that
children have an instinct to be social and interact with peers since very young. The
same article suggests that the friendship is experienced for people of all cultures and
ethnicities [6].
During mid-late childhood the emotional development, self-regulation and
emotion awareness is also very important. Both emotional and social development,
establish the foundations of emotional and social behavior in adolescence and
adulthood.
I am interested in learning the development of these two processes and
approach them from the Positive Discipline Perspective. This article will also review
some concepts and tools from the Positive Discipline. The final goal of this article is to
have information to be able to help and give healthy opportunities to my child.
2. Research](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)