Gone are days when boys are made of "snips and snails and puppy dog tails" and girls are made of "sugar and spice and everything nice"... or are they? Children are barraged with messages about gender and heterosexual norms everywhere they go - their homes, their schools, the media, and more. Do you know what hidden lessons they are learning? How do gender and sexuality affect everything from boys struggling in school to girls dropping out of the STEM pipeline, from sexual harassment to anti-gay bullying, from eating disorders to plastic surgery? How do parents, guardians, teachers, and schools provide safe environments for positive self esteem, healthy identity development, and acceptance of differences?
3. To Engage Fully…
• Practice Growth Mindset
• Ask Questions
• Call Folks IN not OUT
• Let go of Assumptions
• Embrace Discomfort
• Recognize We Are On A Journey
• Own Your Own Intent and Impact
• Practice Courage
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
4. Agenda
• Gender Differences
• Gender Bias
• Impacts of the Gender Binary
• When the Binary Doesn’t Work
• Rethinking Gender and Sexuality
• What Can We Do?
• Discussions
• Resources
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
12. Process Break
Please turn to a nearby neighbor or form
small groups to discuss the following:
How do you experience gender? What
pressures do you feel, and what messages
do you get? What happens as you conform
or defy gender norms?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
19. Boys and Gender Bias
Where Does it Lead?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
20. Central Message for Boys
Do Not Be Weak.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Be so, and you will be likened to
a girl or you will be called gay.
21. The “Tough Guy” in Conflict
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
22. The “Tough Guy” in the Workplace and the Home
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
27. Diversity in Gender Identity
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
28. What We DO Know About Gender Diversity
• Lack of option on declaration forms means lack of true data.
– Most often cited data is that 0.3% of adults identify as transgender. This
comes from two surveys in 2003 and 2007 – 2009.
– Parents and guardians who fill out the forms don’t always honor how
children identify.
• Often quoted statistic “80% change their minds” baseless
– NO reliable long-term studies that follow transgender kids over time in order
to determine how many of them “change their minds”
– Clinic in the Netherlands – Assumed if children stop going to the clinic, it
must be because they are no longer transgender
– USA – in the 50s and 60s, researchers studied effeminate boys without
distinguishing the difference between “I like acting like a girl” versus “I am a
girl.” Many of them grew up and identified as gay rather than transgender.
– Clinic in Canada (whose goal is to “cure” transgender kids) – cites high
success rate and thus claims most people are not transgender
– A study is being performed NOW at the University of Washington. Studying
only kids who identify as transgender, interviewing them every year, and
tracking long term whether the identity is static or fluid.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
29. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
When the Binary Doesn’t Work
34. What Can We Do?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
35. What Can We Do for Girls?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
• Teach the difference
between self-sacrificing and
good.
• Talk about or compliment
something besides her looks.
• Value the quality of her
relationships, not the
quantity.
• Give her access to diverse
women mentors.
• Role-Play difficult
conversations with her.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
36. What Can We Do for Boys?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
• Teach the difference
between strong and
tough.
• Talk about feelings and
relationships.
• Make it okay to be
vulnerable.
• Give him access to
diverse male mentors.
• Help them understand
societal homophobia.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
37. What Can We Do for Gender Diverse Kids?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
• Minimize gendered
language.
• Interrupt gender exclusive
behavior.
• Make gender insignificant
in grouping.
• Mix up gender
stereotyped activities.
• Believe what they tell you.
• Normalize their
experience.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
38. What Can We Do for All?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
• Help them develop strong interaction and social skills.
• Show them diverse role models of all GSD identities.
• Teach about gender and sexuality diversity.
• Respect and nurture their true selves.
• Teach “norm”, “normal”, and “good”.
• Share your stories.
• Model the way.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
39. Rosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://sites.google.com/site/sgsprofessionaloutreach/)
Teach Media Literacy
• Choose media FOR intentionally for the classroom.
• Engage in media WITH youth.
• Help youth understand the hidden messages of media.
• Help youth think about how they want to internalize or
reject these messages.
40. Action Spectrum
Karen Bradberry, PhD
Active Passive Passive Active
Agent Bystander Ally
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
43. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
44. Resources
• Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement &
Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain
Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Miss Representation, documentary film on media and
women
• United Nations Population Fund Statistics on Gender
Equality as of 2005
http://www.unfpa.org/swp/2005/presskit/factsheets/facts
_gender.htm
• Learning to be critically literate of mass media
http://www.medialit.org/
• Media Guide for Parents and Educators
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
45. Gender Specific Resources
• Jennifer Bryan, various trainings and publications on
gender and sexuality diversity, From the Dress Up
Corner to the Senior Prom
• JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident
and Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive
• Jackson Katz, Tough Guise, Wrestling with Manhood,
The Macho Paradox
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies
on early gender differences in competition and play
• Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves
of Adolescent Girls
• Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out,
Curse of the Good Girl
• Michael Thompson, Raising Cain, Speaking of Boys, It’s
a Boy!
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)