The Adventures of WALTER B. WARE Click Walter! By Jack BroadleyClick here to begin the adventure!
During a weekly trip to the countryside with the other residents of the old folk’s home, you trip and stumble down a hill and land deep in the depths of a forest. You question whether this is Heaven, or just an ordinary forest. Believe it is Heaven Believe it is a forest
Okay, so you are in a forest. All around you is surrounded by nature, pretty peaceful. In the distance, you see a shape moving. Get out a Werther’s Go inspect Original
You spot a real life Unicorn! You question whether this is the early medication talking, but this seems different to the usual after-effects. You wonder what to do with this magical creature. Give the Unicorn TRY AND KILL IT a Werther’s Original
You enjoy the taste of the Werther’s Original, but you really have to go see what this shape is. For all you know, it could be more Werther’s Originals.. That tempts you. Go inspect
SUCCESS! The Unicorn enjoyed the Werther’s Original and now agrees to be your noble steed. He informs you that he is called Dave and needs help getting his parent’s back from the evil Fitzwilliamanator. Join Dave Sing Justin Bieber
THE UNICORN DESTROYS YOU AND YOU ARE LEFT TO DIE IN THIS FOREST. GOOD JOB, STUPID. Try AgainLuckily, Dave isn’t all nasty. He allows youto go back in time and try again. Don’t mess this up, idiot.
You are greeted by a troll in your path. He tells you his name is CopperCab and that he hates the haters. He also asks you the immortal question: DO GINGERS HAVE SOULS? THEY HAVE SOULS NO THEY DON’T
… Grow up.Nobody likes Justin Bieber, so go back and try again. Try Again
Good job. CopperCab allows you to carry on under the circumstances that you know he has a soul. However, you ask if he has seen Dave’s parents, and he says either the dark road, or behind the dumpster. Go along the Dark road Check behind the Dumpster
Enough said.You are not a very nice person, are you? Try Again
You are walking along the dark road with Dave when you spot a piece of paper flying around the road. You know it is a random piece of paper, so don’t get your hopes up. Ignore it and keep walking
You are surprised to see a rat that is behind the dumpster. It and Dave stare down and have a battle to the death with your blessing. Allow it or not? Allow the fight Tell Dave to stop
You backed down from a rat? Dave could easily kill it. Allow the fight
The fight is easy and Dave wins straight away. He summons a magical mouse trap to kill the vermin. But sadly, you were infected from the rat and now are filled with a deadly disease. Dave screams and breaks down, yet you are out of Werther’s Originals. Damn. Slap Dave Ignore the disease
Dude, don’t slap Dave.He just saved your life and you’rerepaying him with a slap?Dude, not cool. End the journey like the Ignore the disease idiot you are.
As you are weak, your vision is now just a blur. Dave is crying and you wish he would stop, but the love between man and unicorn is too strong. Due to your blurred vision and Dave’s crying, you both don’t see what is ahead, yet you hear the familiar sound of ‘Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart’. Go and find out You’re more of a Tesco fan
You thought wrong. This is not Wal-Mart, it is the Yadh tribe, a deadly tribe you have heard about on the Discovery Channel back in the retirement home. They gave you an ancient sword. However, they were chanting, ‘Tank huu forr shawpink aht valmurtttt’, a curse that was accidently put onto you. You are now a young man. See the after-effects..
You’re expecting a Tesco to pop up out of nowhere? You’ve met a unicorn, be thankful. Go and find out
Luckily, the Hoff sorts him out. But the Leprechaun knowssomething.. Find Out
The Leprechaun has seen Dave’s parents! He says he willtake you to them on one condition:You give him the Hoff looks.. Accept Decline
So you are left an old weak man whilst theLeprechaun is given the beauty of the Hoff. Althoughyour jealousy is high, you need to find Dave’s parents. Go find Dave’s parents!
Dude, this is my PARENTS.This might be some joke toyou, but I can’t even makemy own dinner. I havehooves. Now get them back,idiot. Choose again
So your journey continues, over the crooked mountain thatsits high above the clouds. Once over this treacherousmountain, you spot a distant castle. No one needs to tell you,you know that Dave’s parents are hidden there. Enter the Castle
The second you enter the castle, you spot the darkhallway ahead of you with only a glimmer of light atthe end. A cake is sitting on a stool and you can seeDave run towards it fast! NO DAVE NOOO! Let him go
DUDE.I WANT CAKE.STOP DECIDING MY FUTURE.God, you’re like my mom.. Try Again
DAVE HAS TURNED INTO AMIGHTY UNICORN AND YOUCRY WITH DELIGHT. YOURBEST FRIEND HAS BEEN MADEINTO A PROUD AND STRONGCREATURE. OMFG LOL. STORM THE CASTLE STORM THE CASTLE JUST STORM THE CASTLE
You search the castle for hours and finally find the room youare looking for. Inside this room is Dave’s parents, but they areunder arrest by a Kitten Guard. You need to get them back.. BATTLE
DAVE KITTEN GUARD DAVE ATTACKS! KITTEN MEGACLAWS! -11 DAMAGE! -4 DAMAGE! BATTLE
DAVE KITTEN GUARD DAVE USES FIREBALL!!!!! -10 DAMAGE! BATTLE Continue!
After that long and ridiculous battle, you find out it is not over.Dave’s parents are inside a cage, attacked to the roof withrope. You need to get it down. Dave misses his momma. Use Dave Other
I has been fighting throughout this whole game. Give me aREST. Damn, if I knew I would be going through this sort ofslavery, I would have just walked past you. Other
REMEMBER THE SWORD THAT THETRIBE GAVE YOU? WELL HERE IT IS! Continue!
After saying goodbye to Dave and his parents, Walter took one more walk through the forestwhere he first met Dave and where his adventure began.Walter was found sitting in a meadow of the forestby a carer. He was soon returned to the old folk’s home and given his medication.He never retold his adventure, but keeps it storedwithin his mind. Was Dave, the leprechaun, Dave’s rabbit parents, the Kitten Guard, the evil rat,CopperCab and the Yadh tribe true? One thing is for sure. Walter B. Ware never took his medication that morning.
Credits: StarringWalter B. WareDave the Unicorn Dave’s ParentsThe Kitten Guard The Yadh TribeThe Leprechaun Dumpster Rat
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