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The Adventures of Walter B. Ware
1. The Adventures of
WALTER B. WARE
Click Walter!
By Jack Broadley
Click here to begin the adventure!
2. During a weekly trip to the countryside with the other residents
of the old folk’s home, you trip and stumble down a hill and
land deep in the depths of a forest. You question whether this
is Heaven, or just an ordinary forest.
Believe it is Heaven Believe it is a forest
4. Okay, so you are in a forest. All around you is surrounded by
nature, pretty peaceful. In the distance, you see a shape
moving.
Get out a Werther’s
Go inspect
Original
5. You spot a real life Unicorn! You question whether this is the
early medication talking, but this seems different to the usual
after-effects. You wonder what to do with this magical
creature.
Give the Unicorn
TRY AND KILL IT
a Werther’s Original
6. You enjoy the taste of the Werther’s Original, but you really
have to go see what this shape is. For all you know, it could
be more Werther’s Originals.. That tempts you.
Go inspect
7. SUCCESS! The Unicorn enjoyed the Werther’s Original and now
agrees to be your noble steed. He informs you that he is
called Dave and needs help getting his parent’s back from
the evil Fitzwilliamanator.
Join Dave Sing Justin Bieber
8. THE UNICORN DESTROYS YOU AND
YOU ARE LEFT TO DIE IN THIS FOREST.
GOOD JOB, STUPID.
Try Again
Luckily, Dave isn’t all nasty. He allows you
to go back in time and try again. Don’t mess this up, idiot.
9. You are greeted by a troll in your path. He tells you his name is
CopperCab and that he hates the haters. He also asks you
the immortal question:
DO GINGERS HAVE SOULS?
THEY HAVE SOULS NO THEY DON’T
10. … Grow up.
Nobody likes Justin Bieber, so go back and try again.
Try Again
11. Good job. CopperCab allows you to carry on under the
circumstances that you know he has a soul. However, you
ask if he has seen Dave’s parents, and he says either the dark
road, or behind the dumpster.
Go along the Dark road Check behind the Dumpster
13. You are walking along the dark road with Dave when you spot
a piece of paper flying around the road. You know it is a
random piece of paper, so don’t get your hopes up.
Ignore it and keep walking
14. You are surprised to see a rat that is behind the dumpster. It
and Dave stare down and have a battle to the death with
your blessing. Allow it or not?
Allow the fight Tell Dave to stop
15. You backed down from a rat? Dave could easily kill it.
Allow the fight
16. The fight is easy and Dave wins straight away. He summons a
magical mouse trap to kill the vermin. But sadly, you were
infected from the rat and now are filled with a deadly
disease. Dave screams and breaks down, yet you are out of
Werther’s Originals. Damn.
Slap Dave Ignore the disease
17. Dude, don’t slap Dave.
He just saved your life and you’re
repaying him with a slap?
Dude, not cool.
End the journey like the
Ignore the disease idiot you are.
18. As you are weak, your vision is now just a blur. Dave is crying
and you wish he would stop, but the love between man and
unicorn is too strong. Due to your blurred vision and Dave’s
crying, you both don’t see what is ahead, yet you hear the
familiar sound of ‘Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart’.
Go and find out You’re more of a Tesco fan
19. You thought wrong. This is not Wal-Mart, it is the Yadh tribe, a
deadly tribe you have heard about on the Discovery Channel
back in the retirement home. They gave you an ancient
sword. However, they were chanting, ‘Tank huu forr
shawpink aht valmurtttt’, a curse that was accidently put
onto you. You are now a young man.
See the after-effects..
20. You’re expecting a Tesco to pop up out
of nowhere? You’ve met a unicorn,
be thankful.
Go and find out
22. After a few minutes of celebrating, you realise there is still a
quest to be completed. You have to locate Dave’s parents.
However, how do you want to do this?
Go over the hillside Baywatch style
23. You look over the hill, and there is a pot of gold! Just your luck!
The Leprechaun seems harmless and it looks like he wants
you to take the gold for your journey!
Go take it! I don’t trust him..
26. Luckily, the Hoff sorts him out. But the Leprechaun knows
something..
Find Out
27. The Leprechaun has seen Dave’s parents! He says he will
take you to them on one condition:
You give him the Hoff looks..
Accept Decline
28. So you are left an old weak man whilst the
Leprechaun is given the beauty of the Hoff. Although
your jealousy is high, you need to find Dave’s parents.
Go find Dave’s parents!
29. Dude, this is my PARENTS.
This might be some joke to
you, but I can’t even make
my own dinner. I have
hooves. Now get them back,
idiot.
Choose again
30. So your journey continues, over the crooked mountain that
sits high above the clouds. Once over this treacherous
mountain, you spot a distant castle. No one needs to tell you,
you know that Dave’s parents are hidden there.
Enter the Castle
31. The second you enter the castle, you spot the dark
hallway ahead of you with only a glimmer of light at
the end. A cake is sitting on a stool and you can see
Dave run towards it fast!
NO DAVE NOOO! Let him go
33. DAVE HAS TURNED INTO A
MIGHTY UNICORN AND YOU
CRY WITH DELIGHT. YOUR
BEST FRIEND HAS BEEN MADE
INTO A PROUD AND STRONG
CREATURE. OMFG LOL.
STORM THE CASTLE
STORM THE CASTLE
JUST STORM THE CASTLE
34. You search the castle for hours and finally find the room you
are looking for. Inside this room is Dave’s parents, but they are
under arrest by a Kitten Guard. You need to get them back..
BATTLE
35. DAVE KITTEN GUARD
DAVE ATTACKS!
KITTEN MEGACLAWS!
-11 DAMAGE! -4 DAMAGE!
BATTLE
36. DAVE KITTEN GUARD
DAVE USES
FIREBALL!!!!!
-10 DAMAGE!
BATTLE
Continue!
37. After that long and ridiculous battle, you find out it is not over.
Dave’s parents are inside a cage, attacked to the roof with
rope. You need to get it down. Dave misses his momma.
Use Dave Other
38. I has been fighting throughout this whole game. Give me a
REST. Damn, if I knew I would be going through this sort of
slavery, I would have just walked past you.
Other
40. Sure.
BYE DUDE.
*cries*
You’re welcome
Walter. Sure thing.
Thank you Dave
We’ll see
each other
again, right?
Bye Dave, I’ll
never forget
you. EVER.
41. After saying goodbye to Dave and his parents,
Walter took one more walk through the forest
where he first met Dave and where his adventure
began.
Walter was found sitting in a meadow of the forest
by a carer. He was soon returned to the old folk’s
home and given his medication.
He never retold his adventure, but keeps it stored
within his mind. Was Dave, the leprechaun, Dave’s
rabbit parents, the Kitten Guard, the evil rat,
CopperCab and the Yadh tribe true? One thing is
for sure.
Walter B. Ware never took his medication
that morning.
42. Credits:
Starring
Walter B. Ware
Dave the Unicorn
Dave’s Parents
The Kitten Guard
The Yadh Tribe
The Leprechaun
Dumpster Rat