We all talk about conflict. We all experience it. But do we really understand what causes it and how we deal with it? Do we have any idea what to do about it? Much research and study has been done, but that doesn't help when you're in the middle of conflict. You don't have time to pull out the reference book or go to a website. You need simple, clear understanding. Learn the categories of conflict and how to recognize them, which means having an understanding of what generates them. Learn the different strategies of dealing with conflict, recognize your own preferred strategies, and understand where you may choose to change your strategy. Discover specific tools you can use in any situation to comfortably and confidently deal with conflict. Doc List introduces some ideas to enhance your learning after you leave the session, so you can continue to expand your love affair with conflict.

1. 6/2/15
1
Conflict: To Know It Is To Love It
Learning Objectives
At
the
end
of
this
module,
you
will
be
able
to:
• List
two
or
more
tools/techniques
for
addressing
and
dealing
with
conflict
in
a
team
• Demonstrate
one
conflict
media>on
technique
• Define
“conflict”

2. 6/2/15
2
Agenda
• Opening
• What
is
conflict?
• What
are
conflict
resolu>on
strategies?
• Crucial
Conversa>ons
• Connec>ng
back
to
Facilita>on
and
Coaching
• Conclusion
Walk and Talk
Get
a
partner
(someone
you
don’t
work
with
and
preferably
don’t
know
well).
Walk
around
the
room.
Share
at
least
one,
and
preferable
2
–
3,
situa>ons
of
conflict
you’ve
experienced
recently,
preferably
in/on/with
your
team
or
between
your
team
and
another
group.
Write
brief
notes
about
each
incident
your
partner
shares
on
an
index
card
or
sheet
of
paper.
Give
them
the
card
when
their
turn
is
over.

3. 6/2/15
3
Doc List
Trainer,
Agile
Coach,
Consultant,
Facilitator
Photographer
Doc@AnotherThought.com
TwiUer:
@athought
LinkedIn:
.../in/doclist
www.AnotherThought.com
www.DocListPhotography.com
512-­‐924-­‐9248
What is conflict?
4
types
of
conflict
(and
2
different
versions
of
the
4
types)
3
causes
of
conflict
The
Collusion
Diagram

4. 6/2/15
4
4 Types of Conflict
• Person
vs.
Self
• Person
vs.
Person
• Person
vs.
Society/
World
• Person
vs.
Nature
• Intrapersonal
• Interpersonal
• Intergroup
• Intragroup
Now you…
• Take
the
index
card
that
your
partner
gave
you
from
the
ini>al
walk
and
talk.
• Look
at
each
conflict,
and
decide
(and
write)
which
type
of
conflict
it
is
from
this
list.
q Intrapersonal
q Interpersonal
q Intergroup
q Intragroup

5. 6/2/15
5
5 Conflict Resolution Strategies
• Accommoda>ng
• Avoiding
• Collabora>ng
• Compe>ng
• Compromising
See
h%p://www.kilmanndiagnos5cs.com
Now you…
• Take
that
same
old
crumpled
marked-­‐up
index
card
that
your
partner
gave
you
from
the
ini>al
walk
and
talk.
• Look
at
each
conflict,
and
identify
(and
write)
(1)
which
strategy
was
used
and
(2)
what
other
strategy
you
might
choose
instead.
q Accommoda>ng
q Avoiding
q Collabora>ng
q Compe>ng
q Compromising

6. 6/2/15
6
The Collusion Diagram
“The
Anatomy
of
Peace:
Resolving
the
Heart
of
Conflict”
by
The
Arbinger
InsGtue
1.
They
do
2.
I
see
4.
They
see
3.
I
do
Insist
I
do
as
they
say
Badger
Complain
An
object:
Demanding
Unreasonable
Nag
An
object:
Self-­‐centered
Inconsiderate
Immature
Protest
“Teach”
Comply
with
actude
Allies
Allies
Let’s talk about “Crucial
Conversations”

7. 6/2/15
7
1.
STATE
My
Path

8. 6/2/15
8
1.
STATE
My
Path
Share
your
facts,
Tell
your
story,
Ask
for
others’
paths,
Talk
tenta5vely,
and
Encourage
tes5ng.
1. STATE
My
Path
2. AMPP

9. 6/2/15
9
1. STATE
My
Path
2. AMPP
Ask,
Mirror,
Paraphrase,
Prime
1. STATE
My
Path
2. AMPP
3. The Humanizing Question

10. 6/2/15
10
1. STATE
My
Path
2. AMPP
3. The Humanizing Question
Why
would
a
ra>onal,
reasonable,
decent
human
being
do
that?
Now you (no, it never ends)…
• Get
a
new
partner
(one
you
have
not
yet
partnered
with,
preferably)
• Look
at
each
conflict
(yes,
that
raUy
old
card)
• Pick
one
conflict.
Discuss
with
your
partner.
• Write
out
the
STATE
opener
to
a
conversa>on
(focus
on
STA).
• Would
any
of
the
AMPP
techniques
have
helped?
q Share
your
facts,
q Tell
your
story,
q Ask
for
others’
paths,
q Talk
tenta>vely,
and
q Encourage
tes>ng.
q Ask,
q Mirror,
q Paraphrase,
q Prime

11. 6/2/15
11
“Those who don't know history are
doomed to repeat it.”
― Edmund Burke
Of course, we want to repeat…
Facilitation skills:
which
techniques/tools
would
be
useful
here?

12. 6/2/15
12
Of course, we want to repeat…
Facilitation skills:
which
techniques/tools
would
be
useful
here?
Coaching skills:
which
techniques/tools
would
be
useful
here?
Let’s wrap it up

13. 6/2/15
13
Doc List
Trainer,
Agile
Coach,
Consultant,
Facilitator
Doc@AnotherThought.com
TwiUer:
@athought
LinkedIn:
.../in/doclist
www.AnotherThought.com
512-­‐924-­‐9248