This poem expresses the fears Shabbir Banoobhai has about raising a child during the apartheid era in South Africa. He worries that the political climate could cause loneliness, hunger, or an early death for his future child. However, he is committed to being a loving father and providing nurturing care, hoping to give the child wonder and protect their delicate spirit. By finding a name that "brings light", he hopes to counter the shadows of the oppressive regime and give the child a positive future despite the fears and difficulties of the time.

1. YOU CANNOT KNOW
THE FEARS I HAVE
Shabbir Banoobhai

2. About the Poet: Shabbir Banoobhai
◦ Born in Durban 1949- during the peak of
Apartheid
◦ While studying a teaching diploma at
Springfield College he worked as an the
assistant editor of the newspaper and
served as SRC President.
◦ Shabbir is a Muslim colored man.

3. About Shabbir Banoobhai’s Poetry:
◦ His poetry reflects the fate of the greater South African community who were oppressed and
victims of the Apartheid regime in South Africa.
◦ His poetry is a mixture of political, spiritual and personal ideas.
◦ He wants his work to “ promote a vision of a more humane society- a society that not only
respects all its members but as human beings but considers them as spiritual beings and
essentially divine”
◦ His Muslim religion is reflected in his poetry but his poetry is also directed against narrow
minded and exclusive religious thinking.
◦ Most of his poetry speaks about the South African issues from a colored Muslim man’s
perspective.

4. Shabbir’s thoughts on the poem:
◦ When asked who was the poem directed to he said:
“ While I think it is more that acceptable to conclude that the poem is for my daughter, in reality
the poem was written before we had children before our first child was even conceived, as we
were debating the merits of bringing up a child in a ‘sun-darkened land’ where the ‘eclipse’ may
one day close her eyes prematurely, or where she may never know the meaning of living in
freedom.
Yet because of my love for all human life (and naturally more so at that age for my own child) in
the poem, the future became the present through the force of that love. The child therefore
became alive and I started to love her as if she was already with me and I pledged to her (before
her presence on this earth) all the love I had to offer.”

5. About the Poem: You Cannot Know the
Fears I have
◦ He was part of the greater colored community in South Africa during Apartheid regime-but he
shared the fate of the larger black community
◦ This poem was written in the 1980s- during the peak of violence during Apartheid Regime.
◦ To better understand the poem the reader must put “I fear that shall” or “I fear” or “I fear that”.

6. “I fear that”
You cannot know the fear i have
As I think about you
“I fear that I shall”
lie awake long nights while you sleep
So loneliness does not trouble you
Nor hunger, nor thirst

7. READ THE POEM

8. Poem Notes:
◦ Tone: Worry but hopeful. Why?
◦ Addressed to: a child. Why?
◦ Structure: free verse. How do we know this?

9. Stanza 1
You cannot know the fears i have
As i think about you

10. Stanza 1 Breakdown:
◦ Who is the “you” and “I” in the poem?
◦ What are possible fears that the poet could be talking about? We know this poem was written
around 1980s in the Apartheid Era, what possible fears could the poet being talking about?
◦ Who is the poem addressed to? His future children but how do we know that? (look throughout
the entire poem and not only the Stanza 1).
◦ Lower case I indicates the powerlessness that the poet feels in the face of the Apartheid Era and
regime.

11. Stanza 2:
i fear that i shall live only at your laughter
lie awake long nights while you sleep
so loneliness does not trouble you
nor hunger, nor thirst.

12. Stanza 2 Breakdown:
◦ “I shall live only at your laughter”- the poet realizes that as soon as the child is born then his
life’s purpose and drive will be forever altered.
◦ “lie awake long nights as you sleep” – this is the act of a new born parent but this could be the
actions of a parent like Shabbir who fearful of the future of his child in a tumultuous political
climate like 1980s Apartheid
◦ “so loneliness does not trouble you, nor hunger nor thirst”- the same actions of a parent with a
newborn child stays awake to feed the child to ease their hunger/thirst in the night time. Why
does Shabbir think loneliness would trouble their child? What does he think is going to part of
the child’s life in the future?
◦ By easing the child’s hunger and thirst, what is the poet trying to ensure the child?

13. Stanza 3:
overwhelm your waking world with wonder
with the music of other worlds, your earlier home
read to you poems written the night before
while you smiled bewildered

14. Stanza 3 Breakdown:
◦ “overwhelm your waking world with wonder”- the poet wants to expose their child to cultures
all over the world and the art and beauty of other cultures
◦ “read to you poems written the night before”- the poet wants to share with the child their own
art and artistry and possibly expand their view on the world and how to look at it.

15. Stanza 4:
or just when my very breathing begins to depend on
you
even as your tiny fingers close around mine
some insensitive thing
crushes your butterfly spirit

16. Stanza 4 Breakdown:
◦ “or just when my very breathing”- the poet realizes that his life will be linked to the child and
that to live the child needs to live.
◦ “some insensitive thing”- this is the apartheid regime. Why does he describe it as “insensitive
thing”? What part of speech is this part of the poem? What is its effectiveness have on the
reader.
- Metaphor: directly comparing the Apartheid regime to being and something that has no
concern or feeling for others. Shabbir objectifies the regime as much as the regime objectifies
people were not white. What does objectify mean?
◦ “Crushes your butterfly spirit”- what part of speech is this? Is it appropriate in the the sense of
the poem?
Metaphor: the direct comparison of the baby’s spirit to a butterfly. The effectiveness is to show
that the baby is as fragile and delicate as a butterfly. Yes it is appropriate when taking about the
vulnerability of the baby to outside forces.

17. Stanza 5:
shadows of a sun-darkened land
flow over you
and the eclipse
closes your eyes

18. Stanza 5 Breakdown:
◦ Considering the context of the poem what is the “shadows of the sun-darkened land”?
Apartheid Regime.
◦ When “the eclipse closes your eyes” what is the poet trying to say will happen to the child?
1. Firstly, look at the definition of eclipse? (block out/keep from being seen)
2. Secondly, look at the connotations that come with eclipse?
◦ It speaks about the eventual death of the child- which is possible to think about while raising a
child during the Apartheid era.

19. Stanza 6:
i cannot live with the thought of having you, loving
you
any other way
a day without such care
has no meaning

20. Stanza 6 Breakdown:
◦ Even though the poet has described all his fears, he still wants to be a parent during those
conflicted times.
◦ “i cannot live with the thought of having you, loving you any other way”- he wants to have and
raise a child even during such difficult times. He knows that he could have child in a different
circumstance but he choses the one he has written about. Why? Because he wants to be a father
no matter what and how enriching (enhance the value of) his life would be.
◦ “a day without such care has no meaning”- the poet suggests that living a life where he is not a
father and aware and watchful of his child and their future is a day without any meaning.

21. Stanza 7:
we shall find for you a name
your name shall bring light

22. Stanza 7 Breakdown:
◦ “we shall find for you a name”- poet believes that a name of a child shapes who they are and
what future they will have
◦ “your name shall bring light”- this links back to “sun-darkened land” and “eclipse closes your
eyes”, the poet wishes to undo all of that with the name of his child hopes that it will bring a
change to their future and the life of the child.
◦ This decision to name a child is also a decision to have the child- so this stanza is Shabbir
solidifying his commitment to be a father.

23. What is this poem talking about?
◦ This poem highlights the fears that Shabbir has about having children during the 1980s
Apartheid.
◦ It speaks about how excited the poet is to bound and build a connection with the child but is
fearful of how the Apartheid regime might effect the child’s future and view of the world.
◦ The poem the poem depicts the child as vulnerable and incredibly delicate in such tumultuous
political climate.
◦ In the end of the poem, the poet commits to the journey of fatherhood and decides on a name
for the future child.

24. Questions:
◦ What are the poet’s fears? (2)
◦ Who is the poem addressed to? Give reason for your answer (2)
◦ “Crushes your butterfly spirit”. Name the part of speech and it effectiveness in the poem
(3)
◦ What is the tone of the poem? Give reason for your answer. (3)
◦ What is the message in Stanza 4? (3)