Don't you hate that feeling you get when you show up to PetCo and accidentally stalk your friend over some silly little unconfirmed bloodstains? Well, Boo also hates that feeling. And now, we've got the gang together, hopping between shadows on Bobby's tail, weaving between screeching cockatoos and one borderline omniscient child. It's a big mess. The only thing that could make this worse is an Egyptian cobra. Oh, shoot. Spoke too soon. Let's go on another adventure! How the hell are we gonna get out of this one?

1. WHO KILLED ALASKA?
#25 - THE ADVENTURES: STALKER PARTY
written by
Cameron Cooper LeBrun

2. DINER BATHROOM.
LOGAN
Boo. Can you stop hiding in the bathroom stall?
BOO
What if I’m pooping?
LOGAN
You poop slow, king.
BOO
It takes time to think. I needed to reflect on the case, and I, I had to think.
LOGAN
Okay, so we’re gonna order another round of happy birthday pancakes for the table. How many
do you need?
BOO
None.
EMMA
How many happy birthday pancakes does he want?
BOO
Hey! Emma, none!
EMMA
Boo? Did you say one or nine?
BOO
None!
2

3. EMMA
(muttering to self) One?
LOGAN
By the way, Denver’s on the phone.
BOO
Why do you have Denver on the phone?
DENVER [speaker phone]
Hey, Boo.
BOO
What…
EMMA
Den-Denver! You should come celebrate with us! Maybe even take a selfie! We could all take a
selfie. Like a huge group photo of precious memories!
DENVER [speaker phone]
What are we celebrating?
EMMA
Logan’s free now! My boy! He’s like a beautiful bird in the big beautiful big sky!
LOGAN
Uh, it’s more like we gotta meet up for food so they’ll yell at me to eat.
EMMA
So free!
3

4. LOGAN
Y’know how some cats need you to pat them on the butt so they’ll actually eat? Yeah, that’s me,
except I, I need to be yelled at bitterly.
EMMA
Hahaha! Hooray!
Boo washes his hands.
DENVER [speaker phone]
So we talked about this before, and I hope you’ll let me check in— you’re not harming yourself,
right?
EMMA
Never! I will never let go of this hand!
LOGAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they’re keeping me
company. They are stubborn POSs, believe
you me. Also Emma has my knives— just for
now, of course.
EMMA
We cleaned out his kitchen! Oh my sweet
summer child. You are so free.
BOO
Guys, I am seeing— this is terrible.
LOGAN
Uh-huh.
4

5. BOO
Am I seeing our table out there? Folks, how many fucking happy birthday pancakes did y’all get,
and they’re like half-eaten over there!? Am I crazy!?
EMMA
Yes.
BOO
Where am I!
EMMA
You’re hallucinating. Ooooowoooooo!
BOO
Okay, stop! Stop ordering happy birthday pancakes! Whose money is this!
LOGAN
But it’s my birthday. Feliz Navidad.
BOO
It’s literally not.
LOGAN
You don’t know my birthday.
LOGAN
I have a DIFFERENT BIRTHDAY THAN
YOU THINK I DO!
BOO
Stop ordering pancakes!
DENVER [speaker phone]
Uh, I’m gonna leave you guys to it. Okay, bye now.
5

6. EMMA
Nooo!
BOO
Now I’m gonna loom over you guys to stop you from ordering more happy birthday pancakes.
EMMA
NOOOOO!
BOO
C’mon. C’mon, I’m following you back to the table. Let’s get going, children.
DINER.
EMMA
Have you ever thought that a birthday is just New Year’s for one individual?
BOO
I hate that. Bobby. Are you on your way out?
BOBBY
Yeahh. Look, I’m sorry. I really wish that I could stay and, y’know, be of comfort to Logan.
LOGAN
Appreciate the thought.
BOBBY
I’m uh, barely gonna be late, so, um, that’s kickass for me. I’m gonna— I’m gonna go get that
bag. Yeet.
6

7. EMMA
Byyyyyyyyyyye!
BOBBY
Byyyyyyyyyyye! I’m gonna see you guys later!
LOGAN
Bye.
BOO
Later.
EMMA
Bobby, you dropped yourrrrrr…? Mm?
A piece of paper is picked up.
EMMA
Uh. Guys?
LOGAN
Stop it.
BOO
Hahaha.
EMMA
Guys, I just saw Bobby drop something. It looked like it was a piece of paper? Covered in blood.
Then he picked it up and put it back in his pocket.
7

8. BOO
Oh. Okay. Incredibly suspicious?
LOGAN
Maybe he was hungry?
8

9. THEME SONG
BOO
Previously on Who Killed Alaska!
REFRESHER MONTAGE
EMMA [clip - WKA14]
Bobby— does Bobby have a power? […] He does hypnotize himself.
BOBBY [clip - WKA17]
I’m a Luciferian witch, which means I practice witchcraft that involves symbols such as
pentacles, and sigils, and anything that holds great power.
BOO [clip - WKA22]
There’s another photo under Logan’s face. […] It’s a picture of Alaska. […] Like he was stalking
my brother! […] Like he’s imitating his face[…] Logan killed my fucking brother!
BOO [clip - WKA23]
Then Logan and his parents were arrested[—]
BOO [clip - WKA24]
Logan did it.
DENVER [clip - WKA24]
Jeremy is released[…] Alaska’s murder case is still under investigation.
THEME SONG ENDS
BOO
And now, it’s time for the new episode! Welcome back, bud! This is Who Killed Alaska: The
Adventures!
9

10. DINER.
EMMA
Guys, I just saw Bobby drop something. It looked like it was a piece of paper? Covered in blood.
Then he picked it up and put it back in his pocket.
BOO
Oh. Okay. Incredibly suspicious?
LOGAN
Maybe he was hungry?
BOO
He probably just had a nosebleed.
EMMA
No. No. It wasn’t a tissue he had. It looked like it was A4 paper, crumpled up in a ball shape.
BOO
I wouldn’t worry about it. That rings like some kind of napkin or a paper towel he used for a
nosebleed.
LOGAN
Should we do something about this?
EMMA
He’s gone. He’s gone gone.
BOO
Alright, look, let’s just call him and just ask him about it.
10

11. SOON.
COWBOY [voicemail inbox message]
You’ve reached the voicemail inbox of Robert “Bobby” Yorke. Leave a bullet after the beep.
Draw.
Boo hangs up.
BOO
Alright, I’m calling once more.
EMMA
What if Bobby…
BOO
Killed Alaska?
Pause.
BOO
You haven’t considered that before, huh.
EMMA
Not seriously.
BOO
There’s someone else I think did it.
11

12. EMMA
Me too.
BOO
Really?
EMMA
Mm.
BOO
Okay. Yeah, but we have to explore every option. So who do you—
COWBOY [voicemail inbox message]
You’ve reached the voicemail inbox of Robert “Bobby” Yorke. Leave—
Boo hangs up.
EMMA
He’s next door to us. I wanna chase after him. Right now.
LOGAN
That’s crazy.
EMMA
Let’s go ask him right now, why there was blood on it.
BOO
No, yeah, we have to explore every possibility.
12

13. LOGAN
What’s his job that’s next door?
EMMA
PetCo.
LOGAN
PetCo? Really?
BOO / EMMA
PetCo.
13

14. PETCO.
CHILD
Hamster!
BOO
Folks. Actually. This is a bad idea. We showed up to his work. I think we’re being stalkers.
EMMA
Bobby’s over there! I’ll go talk to him.
BOO
He’s not gonna help you! He’s not gonna show you a dirty tissue!
CHILD
Puppy!
LOGAN
Don’t be a pussy.
CHILD
Cat!
Cat mewls.
BOO
It seemed like a good idea! But like, okay, if it’s just a tissue, he’s gonna throw it away. Let’s
just, like, wait until he throws it away.
14

15. CHILD
Puppy! Again!
LOGAN
Huh.
EMMA
Wha! Uh! Uh! God! Boo, you fucking stupid pulling-out-your-acoustic-guitar-at-a-party-ass
bitch! I’m gonna throw you out the window!
BOO
What?
LOGAN
Do it. Break his neck.
BOO
This is inappropriate. Bobby doesn’t talk about work. Like, I can’t imagine he wants us to see
him working retail.
EMMA
Bobby is not ashamed of working! He knows better!
BOO
He has a degree in law and criminal justice. He don’t— he just— he wouldn’t want us meeting
him at PetCo and seeing him sweep up frog poop.
EMMA
Boo.
15

16. BOO
Emma.
EMMA
Boo!
BOO
Emma. Don’t stand in the middle of the aisle if you’re gonna stay visible. Hide. Let’s chill.
BOBBY
Hey Jenny.
JENNY
Hey Bobby. Did you hear there’s an Egyptian cobra that got loose next door?
BOBBY
No? An Egyptian cobra?
JENNY
Yeah, the Cradle of Aviation had an Egyptian cobra for the reptile show. They have a
demonstration where they pick it up with a stick and make it bite a strawberry.
BOBBY
Is it dangerous?
JENNY
Its bite could kill an elephant. Anyway, I’m gonna go quit.
BOBBY
What? Like right now? What happened?
16

17. JENNY
I asked Adam if we could evacuate and he said we already handle snakes.
BOBBY
But our snakes aren’t venomous! Did you tell him that?
JENNY
He already knows. That’s it. I’m done.
BOBBY
Maybe he doesn’t know.
JENNY
I should’ve quit when the birds started dying. Do you wanna come quit with me?
Pause.
BOBBY
I need this job.
JENNY
Okay. Sorry to leave you.
BOBBY
It’s okay.
JENNY
Maybe they can afford to pay you more when I leave.
17

18. BOBBY
Yeah.
Jenny walks away.
BOO
This isn’t right. We can’t just listen in on his private conversations.
LOGAN
But we’re seeing sides of Bobby we haven’t seen before. We’re learning more about him.
EMMA
I’m just gonna talk to him.
LOGAN
Hold on. Boo said we’re being stalkers. You know what we should do?
EMMA
What?
LOGAN
Stalk him. Let’s follow him. Let’s wait until he throws out that bloody thing in his pocket. Then
we dig through the trash. If he doesn’t throw it out, let’s follow him home. Let’s look in his
window and find out what he’s been up to. It’s easier than you think to be a stalker. You just need
to stand nearby and wait for it all to come to you.
BOO
Logan, you… could’ve made me forget those photos.
18

19. LOGAN
What photos?
BOO
The wall, the— you— What makes you think I want to do the things you do? Why would we
stalk Bobby for a stupid tissue?
LOGAN
I thought you were serious now.
BOO
I am.
LOGAN
I was serious about finding a reason to live. I followed Alaska because I needed a reason to live.
What do you need? When you say you’ll save Alaska, you look like a dead fish.
BOO
Look away.
LOGAN
Fine.
BOO
I need to find his killer, Logan. Alaska’s killer doesn’t have much time left. I’m going to do
whatever it takes.
LOGAN
Then step back and hide. Someone’s coming.
19

20. EMMA
Shh.
Pause.
CHILD
Hello.
BOBBY
Hello.
CHILD
Did you hear there’s an Egyptian cobra that got loose next door?
BOBBY
Sorry? What was that?
CHILD
Did you hear there’s an Egyptian cobra that got loose next door?
BOBBY
I!— I did hear that! But, uh, hey, you don’t worry have to worry about that, um. Hey, you should
worry about… You should worry about the a coin behind your ear! Yeah! Isn’t that crazy?
CHILD
Don’t touch my ear.
BOBBY
Sorry. Where’s your dad or mom?
20

21. CHILD
He’s tickling a betta fish.
BOBBY
Do you want a— He’s what?
CHILD
He’s tickling a betta fish.
BOBBY
Okay, uh. Do you want a fortune cookie?
He gives the child a fortune cookie.
BOBBY
Here, take it. It’s a fortune cookie.
CHILD
Uh.
BOBBY
Now you’ve learned something new about our world, and about all of the beautiful things in it.
I’m gonna go find your dad.
They walk.
21

22. LOGAN
C’mon! Keep up!
BOO
Logan…
BOBBY
Excuse me! Hands out of the tanks, please!
ADAM
ROBERT!
Adam approaches.
ADAM
You closed one of the enclosures wrong.
BOBBY
I’m sorry.
ADAM
There’s a snake out of its enclosure.
BOBBY
I’ll put it back in. I’m sorry, Adam.
ADAM
It’s right there.
22

23. BOBBY
Adam. Can you look up an Egyptian cobra?
ADAM
I know what kinds of snakes we have!
BOBBY
Well, it’s just— Since you put my Blackberry in the penalty box, I can’t look up photographs of
an Egyptian cobra.
ADAM
Robert! Robert! I know what snakes we have!
BOBBY
You do?
ADAM
I ordered them!
BOBBY
Are… Are we going to adopt the Egyptian cobra?
ADAM
Just put the snake away!
BOBBY
I’ll go into a trance. Please don’t wag your finger at me— it looks like a pendulum.
ADAM
This? This is not wagging my finger! Robert! Do you want to work here?
23

24. BOBBY
(dreamily) Did you hear there’s a…
ADAM
No matter how many people I have had to fire, no matter how empty this place gets, it is you and
me!
BOBBY
(dreamily) Did you hear there’s a…
ADAM
I’m asking you to help me, Robert! Put away the snake! That’s our snake! Put away our snake!
BOBBY
(dreamily) Did you hear that there’s an Eg…
ADAM
Robert! Are you listening to me? Robert!
Adam snaps his fingers.
BOBBY
Oh, I see! That’s one of our snakes there. I can pick it up.
The cobra hisses!
Bobby screams.
Adam screams.
24

25. ADAM
Wait, uh. I don’t think that’s one of our snakes.
BOBBY
I thought it is!
ADAM
Uh! Robert, stop it! Don’t touch it! Stop it! Block it! WE’RE GONNA LOSE IT!
25

26. AD BREAK
DENVER’S CAR.
JO
Okay, it’s on?
DENVER
It’s on.
JO
Okay. THE ARTS!
DENVER
Woah!
JO
MUSIC! Do you give a shit about these things? Then listen up! This is the ad break, my lovely
fans!
DENVER
Jo, don’t be moving around so much! They’re gonna look over at us and we’re already
conspicuous.
JO
ITALIAN! I’M ITALIAN! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO!
DENVER
Okay, this energy— this is not necessary.
26

27. JO
PIZZA PIZZA! YOU FUCKING RACIST!
DENVER
Where is this coming from? You are turning red right now.
JO
BECAUSE YOU STOPPED ME TWO SECONDS INTO MY FIRST TA— Oh he totally looked
at us.
DENVER
No he did not. Did he really?
JO
No he did. Are we fucked?
DENVER
Um.
JO
Are we fucked? Ohhhh do we go home? Do we call it and get Arby’s?
DENVER
Why Arby’s? Ew. Uh. I don’t think he saw us. Let’s just continue. So pizza. Not pizza. Let’s start
over.
JO
Let’s start over.
Denver clears his throat.
27

28. JO
I excuse your racism. Okay, serious.
DENVER
Hey, Jo. Where can they find the soundtrack of Who Killed Alaska?
JO
Ha! I’m so glad you asked. They can find it on Spotify and Youtube and Apple Music and other
streaming services.
DENVER
What should they search for?
JO
They can search for Bury Me Again by The Ghost Factory. Bury Me Again, by The Ghost
Factory, has all the classics, such as, Fuck You Kyle by Cornflour Acoustic Monolith Ward, and,
they bought the rights for my single, One-Two. Denver! You big idiot!
DENVER
Hm.
JO
You didn’t know that you can search on Spotify for Bury Me Again by The Ghost Factory to get
the best compilation album you’ve ever dang heard? They even got Bring Me a Beer, which is
my favorite song by Mr Stables Stables Horse Band.
DENVER
Wait, have I heard that one?
28

29. JO
Oh my god. Have you not? Wait, let’s pull that up.
CUT TO: SOON.
MR STABLES STABLES HORSE BAND
God bless the troops
God bless the USA
And God bless George H.W. Bush
DENVER
This is an insane song.
JO
There’s a really, really good Spongebob AI cover of this song.
DENVER
You watch those videos?
JO
You need more whimsy, dude. You aren’t whimsical.
DENVER
I definitely disagree.
JO
Okay.
29

30. SOON.
DENVER
I feel like that song just, ugh, traumatized me.
JO
And it can traumatize you too, on Spotify, and Youtube, and Apple Music, and EVERYWHERE!
Mr Stables Stables Horse Band is gonna get in your head! In your messed up little head—
DENVER
Jo? Hey Jo? What’s going on?
JO
I’m fifteen feet apart from him. You want me to act normal?
DENVER
Ah. Okay, that’s entirely fair.
JO
Look, he’s acting weird as fuck too. It’s like, uh, it’s like twin telepathy!
DENVER
Here. How about let’s just do the patrons and wrap up?
JO
(quickly) Sierra, Ben Walter, Grinleysspa, Jupiter Defense Squad, Moony Boons, MuricanPye,
Bina, Happidragon, Criminal Frog, K. Lovechilde, Lukas King, Katrina Redman, August Ure,
Mic Drop, LivinLuxuriouslySelena, Kelly Brennan, Ash, Shoshi, Shep, Nicole Collard, Emma,
MishaWarlock, Sarah, and CJ Taylor-Caldwell! (as before) Thank you for your patronage on
Patreon!
30

31. DENVER
Okay you didn’t have to do it that way.
JO
But it was entertaining, no?
31

32. PETCO.
Sound is distant and echoing, aside from Bobby’s voice.
ADAM
DON’T TOUCH IT! STOP IT! BLOCK IT!
ADAM [echoing/distant]
WE’RE GONNA LOSE IT! WE’RE GONNA
LOSE IT! WE’RE GONNA LOSE IT!
WE’RE GONNA LOSE IT! WE’RE GONNA
LOSE IT! WE’RE GONNA LOSE IT!
WE’RE GONNA LOSE IT! WE’RE GONNA
LOSE IT!
BOBBY
We’re gonna lose it. I’m gonna lose it! That’s
our snake. Oh, that’s right— we’ve always
had an Egyptian cobra. And our snake would
never hurt us. So I can’t lose the snake.
ADAM
ROBERT! GET THAT SNAKE!
BOBBY
Oop!
Bump. The snake hisses.
ADAM
Robert! What did I tell you to do! I told you not to lose that snake!
32

33. BOBBY
Adam! My hand just moved when I didn’t tell it to move! It’s like it was trying to protect me,
but. But that doesn’t make sense because… that was our snake. I didn’t need to protect myself.
ADAM
Robert. That wasn’t our snake. I heard something about a snake getting loose nearby, but…
BOBBY
No but why would my body protect me? My hand stopped listening to me! That was an animal
that belonged to us. That was an animal I have looked after.
ADAM
I’m gonna make a call to animal control.
BOBBY
For our snake?
ADAM
SHUT UP. Robert, did they teach you this in kindergarten? This motion means zip your lips!
BOBBY
But I was asking a question.
ADAM
SHUT UP. If you are that confused… then stop thinking!
Adam walks away.
33

34. BOO
So that’s bad.
LOGAN
Yeah.
BOO
That’s really bad.
LOGAN
Just all of it?
EMMA
All of it was bad. It was all dangerous.
BOO
In particular, well, we found out Bobby’s wick.
EMMA
Oh.
BOO
Logan, did you ever hear about a wick?
LOGAN
No.
BOO
I heard about this recently. A wick is a consistent rule that governs or weighs down what an
Outsider is capable of— like your memory, is an example.
34

35. LOGAN
So there’s a word for that.
EMMA
Or like how I can be unnoticed.
BOO
AH.
EMMA
Or like how I can be unnoticed. Sorry. I’m back.
BOO
It’s okay.
LOGAN
And it fits for Bobby, too, because he can
hypnotize himself.
BOO
That’s what I thought too. But he was hypnotized by his boss just now. I think Bobby… has the
power to be hypnotized. I mean, I don’t know what was happening with the hand thing, but,
being hypnotized by his boss I’m pretty confident about.
EMMA
Also, the paper is still in his pocket, but uh, I don't want to touch it.
BOO
You saw it?
EMMA
Not in detail. There’s a visible corner. I snuck up on him when I went unnoticeable.
35

36. LOGAN
This is good. We’re learning a lot about Bobby. His power sucks!
BOO
Maybe we should get Bobby out of here— if there’s a snake loose.
LOGAN
I’ve wanted to understand Bobby— ever since, y’know, he stabbed me. Yo, you guys need to
move less like yourselves. Bobby’s going to notice you around the corner.
BOO
I get it. This is why you’re so good at doing Alaska. You were always following him and
analyzing him when he wasn’t looking, weren’t you? You had everything memorized.
LOGAN
I wasn’t memorizing.
BOO
Huh?
LOGAN
I’m not like you. I don’t memorize. I remember. Someone’s coming again. Sh.
EMMA
We’ll talk in a sec.
BOBBY
Adam, I’m sorry. I want to help you but I can’t find the snake anywhere.
ADAM
Robert, I know. I’ve been watching you do nothing on the cams.
36

37. BOBBY
You’ve been watching me? Please don’t watch me.
ADAM
It’s a job, Robert. I need to make sure you’re working.
BOBBY
Can you just trust that I’m trying my best?
ADAM
Jobs don’t work on trust. LISTEN TO ME.
Bobby squeaks.
ADAM
You have to listen to me! There is a dangerous animal in this PetCo, and we need sales before we
close for the day, so I won’t be kicking out a soul.
BOBBY
But everything is safe. You don’t want to hurt me. The snake doesn’t want to hurt me.
ADAM
You have to find that snake before animal control gets here, or things are going to get a lot worse
for both of us.
BOBBY
What will happen?
37

38. ADAM
Someone could die.
BOBBY
You’re— you’re threatening me.
ADAM
What? No. No. I’m saying the snake is venomous.
BOBBY
You’re threatening me! You’re bullying me!
ADAM
Sorry! He’s uh. Robert, come on. Let’s, let’s cool off in the back.
BOBBY
Just don’t hurt me.
ADAM
I’m not gonna hurt you. We need to talk privately.
BOO
Look away from me. They’re going to a backroom.
Walking.
EMMA
I’ll hold the door open. They won’t even think about it.
38

39. BOBBY [from backroom]
You threatened me!
ADAM [from backroom]
I didn’t threaten you, Robert! I want you to stay here. Stay here and cool off. Take some deep
breaths. Drink some water. Take a break for ten minutes, and then we’ll look for the snake
together. Okay? (pause) Okay?
BOBBY [from backroom]
Okay.
ADAM [from backroom]
Good! Hope you feel better.
Adam leaves the backroom. Walks right by us.
ADAM
Excuse me.
BOO
Some dog food fell over there.
ADAM
Great! Thank you!
Adam walks off.
39

40. BOBBY [from backroom]
It was him. It was him. It was Adam!
Bobby pulls out the paper from his pocket.
BOO
We’re watching Bobby pull out the paper.
LOGAN
That’s real blood.
BOO
The blood is in the shape of a symbol. It looks like an ouroboros. I bet this is witchcraft. He’s
pulling out a knife.
EMMA
Bobby!
LOGAN
Shh.
BOO
And he’s… drawing blood from his hand.
BOO
He’s using the blood to write on the page. (pause) He’s writing “Adam.”
BOBBY [from backroom]
Speak truth to power! Forget, but never forgive! You will regret destroying a human being! Now
the shards of my broken self will become a weapon to destroy you!
40

41. LOGAN
I like this actually.
BOO
Shut the fuck up.
BOO [narrator]
Hello. This is not an ad. This is part of the show. I would like to take a break from format to
speak directly to Detective Finn Denver.
In this moment, the sun is fucking shining, because it’s the sun. And I notice that there’s a
black sedan standing outside PetCo. I know you from your tinted windows. And your upright
posture, contaminated with what I believe is scoliosis, all very visible in, sort of, silhouette.
Hello, Finn Denver. I recognize you in your black sedan. So you’re stalking us, like we’re
stalking Bobby. Why did you do this? Why did you do this?
You know what I do? I do absolutely nothing. I let you follow us. You can follow me with
your eyes. I have nothing to hide, and I’m not gonna hide. But I know you’re there. You cannot
take my dignity from me, because I know you’re there. Now play the episode.
Someone screams.
BOO [narrator]
Now you, Denver, will recognize this as the moment that someone gets bitten. This is where the
cobra attacks Bobby’s supervisor.
41

42. ADAM
Someone get a doctor!
EMMA
Bobby! What did you do!?
BOBBY [from backroom]
Emma!? Were you watching!?
ADAM
Someone get a doctor! That’s a venomous snake!
EMMA
Undo it!
BOO
Undo it!
LOGAN
You have to undo it.
Bobby runs.
BOO
Look away! Look at Bobby! Get him!
EMMA
Bobby!
42

43. LOGAN
Bobby!
BOO
Bobby!
BOBBY
I’m sorry! I’m sorry!
ADAM
Help me!
Something crashes.
ADAM
Help me! I’ve been bitten!
BOBBY
I’m sorry! I’m sorry!
Sounds of chaos.
BOBBY
I’m sorry! I can’t undo it!
43

44. OUTSIDE.
They run outside.
EMMA
Bobby!
The crowd floods outside. Chaos.
BOO
Bobby! Excuse me—
Someone steps on Boo’s foot.
BOO
Argh!— Bobby!
EMMA
I can hear you!
BOO
Emma? Logan?
LOGAN
Boo! Grab my hand!
44

45. BOO
Logan! I gotcha!
LOGAN
Move out of the FUCKING way! I’m trying to reach my friend before she gets crushed! Emma!
Grab my hand!
EMMA
We lost Bobby!
BOO
Grab mine! Emma, I gotcha!
EMMA
Bobby! Bobby!
BOO
We should!— We should!— I don’t know what we should do! I don’t know what to do!
LOGAN
We should get out of the crowd!
EMMA
Yes!
BOO
Okay!
EMMA
Bobby! Bobby!
45

46. They navigate out of the crowd.
CHILD
He needs antivenom.
FATHER
I’m sure the police will handle it.
CHILD
The police don’t have antivenom.
FATHER
Stop it.
CHILD
We gotta tell the police they need antivenom.
FATHER
I’m sorry for tickling the betta fish.
CHILD
It’s okay, Dad.
BOO
I don’t know what to do.
LOGAN
I heard a conversation we need.
BOO
Yeah?
LOGAN
Shut up. Let me be a stalker for one second.
CHILD
The Cradle of Aviation had an Egyptian cobra for the reptile show. They should have antivenom.
FATHER
C’mon. Let’s call your mother.
46

47. CHILD
But mom doesn’t have antivenom!
LOGAN
They said there’s antivenom at the Cradle of Aviation.
BOO
I heard it too.
EMMA
Then let’s get Bobby’s supervisor! Let’s save him!
LOGAN
Adam is still inside.
EMMA
Exactly! Let’s save him!
LOGAN
There’s a wild animal in there.
EMMA
Fuck the wild animal.
BOO
Animal control won’t get here in time.
LOGAN
It’s been a while, Boo! I think they’re pretty close!
BOO
Animal control is branch of our county’s police! Logan, do you trust the police?
47

48. LOGAN
Then go in without me, or… Whatever. Whatever! Okay! Okay! Somebody get me a therapist!
Let’s go!
They approach the front doors.
LOGAN
Oh, this is such a bad idea. This is so stupid. This snake better kill me.
EMMA
3! 2!
EMMA / LOGAN / BOO
1! Murder!
They push the doors open.
PETCO.
It’s quiet.
BOO
Uh. Adam?
They walk through.
48

49. EMMA
Walk carefully.
BOO
Let’s just be calm.
They walk through.
LOGAN
He’s here. He’s unconscious.
EMMA
Let’s move him fast.
LOGAN
I guess I gotta, um. I’ll pick ‘im up.
Logan picks up Adam.
BOO
Do you need help?
LOGAN
I got ‘im.
BOO
Okay. Let’s go. Walk slowly.
49

50. They walk.
BOBBY [distant/muffled]
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
BOO
Bobby?
Silence.
EMMA
Let’s go.
BOO
Bobby’s in here.
EMMA
We have to go right now! He’s gonna die!
BOO
Bobby could get bitten.
Pause.
BOO
We have to split up. I’ll get Bobby.
50

51. EMMA
Walk carefully.
BOO
I will.
They leave.
BOBBY [distant/muffled]
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
BOO
Bobby?
Silence.
BOO [narrator]
So, Denver, I’m pre-occupied here. I have completely forgotten about you at this point. So
unfortunately, I am not aware of the terrible thing you’re about to do.
BOO
Bobby. I’m not mad. I’m here to help you.
Boo opens the door to the backroom.
51

52. BOBBY [from backroom]
Ohmmmmm. Ohmmmmm.
BOO
Bobby, stop hypnotizing yourself!
BACKROOM.
BOO
What are you doing!? We need to take a second because there’s a cobra in the building, so come
on, let’s get up and go.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything wrong.
BOO
Bobby, I need you to stop, we need to get up and go. Come on!
BOBBY
(hypnotized) I didn’t do anything wrong.
BOO
Come on! Come ON!
Boo shakes him.
(CONTD.)
52

53. BOBBY
(hypnotized) You don’t see the truth, the truth, the truth, the. Ohmmmm. Ohmmmm. Ohmmmm.
Ohmmmm. Ohmmmm. Ohmmmm. Ohmmmm. Ohmmmm.
BOO (interrupting)
Y’gotta— we gotta get up and y’gotta walk carefully— Bobby! Bobby? Bobby! I can’t believe
you’d hypnotize yourself here! Why are you always so asleep! Wake up, dude! Wake up! Wake
up! Wake UP!
BOBBY
(hypnotized) You wake up.
BOO
I’m not hypnotized! You are!
BOBBY
(hypnotized) I’m more awake than you. This is the only moment I remember everything. This is
the only moment I remember hypnotizing myself over and over and over and over. Because a
little ant gets foolish every time and the little ant hurts me. So I have to be Ouroboros, eating his
tail. Punish, regret, forget.
BOO
I know you’re feeling hurt but you need to wake up, so we can go. Alright?
BOBBY
(hypnotized) I won’t do it. Pull me out from
here. I’ll keep hypnotizing myself until I’ve
finished forgetting.
BOO
Bobby, you can forget but you can’t undo
what you did! You need to face your mistake,
and wake UP!
53

54. BOBBY
(hypnotized) You wake up. Did you notice you’re asleep?
BOO
Stop it. I’m not— dude, I’m clearly awake!
BOBBY
(hypnotized) Being brainwashed doesn’t count as awake.
BOO
Brainwashed by who? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
BOBBY
(hypnotized) Sometimes little snakes like to get into our heads and pretend to be us. They eat us
up until our minds crumble and our heads, they become weathered inside like statues until we’re
only who people want us to be.
BOO
Shut up. Just wake up. I don’t like this.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) If you don’t like it just stop listening to me.
BOO
You’re the one talking. Stop talking.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) Now you see how I know the truth. You see how wise I am, to thread the
Ouroboros. When your hands move, maybe you’re in control, or there could be a snake inside of
you using your tendons like strings to pull you around.
54

55. BOO
What does that mean?
BOBBY
(hypnotized) I’m talking about teachers, and moms, and dads, and clergymen who inject our
brains full of thoughts.
BOO
Those people don’t affect me.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) Nobody’s immune.
BOO
Okay, you can say that but I don’t listen to any of those people. Why am I— Bobby, let’s go!
BOO
Maybe you can watch your feet like this.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) There are two ways to control
people.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) The first is you get us to bite the apple. The second is that you make us resent the
thought of biting the apple, and when we do not eat, we get hungry.
BOO
I don’t resent those people.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) Why… why wouldn’t you resent them? They hurt you. They laugh at you.
55

56. BOO
Nobody laughs at me.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) They use you.
BOO
Alright, stop it.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) They control you.
BOO
I control me.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) No you don’t!
BOO
I do! Shit!
BOBBY
(hypnotized) Then who’s Alaska?
BOO
What?
BOBBY
(hypnotized) “What” means what? That’s what I’m saying, Boo! When you don’t bite the apple,
you just get another snake and now the lowest caste controls you. Now you get Alaska.
56

57. BOO
That’s not a thought I want to think.
BOBBY
(hypnotized) Game, set, match.
BOO
Stop being weird and leave!
BOBBY
(hypnotized) We cannot leave.
BOO
Stop being weird!
BOBBY
(hypnotized) Are you bullying me?
BOO
No!
BOBBY
(hypnotized) And… here comes the snake.
Hiss.
BOO [narrator]
And then, for some reason— maybe because you’re kind— you save me, Finn Denver. You
saved me.
57

58. BOO
There’s a snake biting your arm.
DENVER
I know.
BOO
You shouldn’t do this.
DENVER
I know.
BOO
You were kind to me.
DENVER
I know.
Bang.
BOO [narrator]
And that’s the sound of you smashing the snake into the wall. So you broke a couple ribs there, I
think. You scared it off a little too well.
DENVER
This is a good way to die. Now we’re friends again.
Boo sobs.
58

59. BOO
(crying) You did this and you thou— You did this and you thought you were gonna die!?
DENVER
Now we’re friends again. Like when we met.
BOO
I thought you forgot that.
DENVER
Never.
BOO
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon! I’m dragging you! C’mon!
Boo drags Denver.
DENVER
Stop… Stop… Stop…
BOO
(crying) I thought you never really wanted to
save me! I thought! I thought you were just
some stupid cop! I thought you were selfish
like me!
DENVER
I’m glad.
59

60. BOO
Okay… I can save you. There’s somewhere I can bring you! There’s antivenom!
DENVER
I hope it’s close. It’s okay if we don’t get there in time. Thank you.
BOO [narrator]
I’m so weak. My arms are just the bones. I have no confidence that I can get you there on time,
but I really want to save you. So, I admit, for the first time, that this moment is difficult, and this
moment is trying. I cannot fix that. I cannot fight it. I admit that it’s painful. Why is it, what is
the stupid reason… that that makes me pull harder? It is difficult, and it is trying.
OUSTIDE.
BOO
Almost there. Almost there.
DENVER
Boo. Can I ask you a question?
BOO
I can’t. I need focus.
DENVER
Okay. I’m fading.
BOO
I’m gonna save you! I’m gonna save you!
60

61. BOO [narrator]
I am prepared to be scared and overwhelmed. Everything is always worth a try. And a try… is
worth my confidence.
Denver.
You once said life is our heaven, but heaven can feel a lot like hell. Today it doesn’t—
because the people here will make it good again.
CRADLE OF AVIATION.
Boo slams the door open.
BOO
THIS MAN NEEDS HELP! ANTIVENOM!
BOO [narrator]
That’s when they laid you out… and they gave you the serum… and I was sitting right next to
you. And everything was okay. Excuse me, um. Present tense, right? And everything is okay.
DENVER
Why doesn’t it hurt?
BOO
Do you know my true name?
DENVER
It’s Pain.
61

62. BOO
I can sap the pain out of you. I often do.
DENVER
Where does the pain go?
BOO
Right here.
DENVER
Your heart?
BOO
Yes.
DENVER
That’s horrible.
Boo chuckles.
BOO
Do you follow us around often?
DENVER
Only if you’re doing something suspicious.
BOO
Please do that less.
62

63. DENVER
Okay. Okay, yeah. Fine. WAIT.
Denver tries to get up.
BOO
Hey, yo, yo, yo, hey. Don’t push yourself.
DENVER
Jo. Jo is— Jo was in the passenger seat! I had to release the handcuffs to come help. Jo is loose!
JO IS LOOSE!
BOO [narrator]
And then we get to the parking lot in front of PetCo, where, uh… yeah, so, never mind. Cut out
narration. It’s over. Denver’s gonna remember this part for sure.
63

64. OUTSIDE.
ADAM
NOW THERE’S A CAR ON FIRE!?
BOO
Uh. Uh. That’s mine.
JO [distant]
BOO CURTIS! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE NO LONGER HOMELESS!
BOO
HELLO JO! (pause) There goes all of my belongings.
JO [distant]
ALICE IS OK!
BOO
THANKS FOR THAT!
DENVER
I’m so, so sorry.
BOO
It’s chill. It’s not. Those are all my belongings.
JO [distant]
HAHAHAHA!
DENVER
Do you need a place to stay?
64

65. BOO
You’re offering?
DENVER
Yes.
BOO
Oh wow. Okay. Well.
BOBBY
What is going on out here!?
DENVER
This happened really fast.
BOO
Oh, I know. But uh. You can lose everything pretty fast. Alright then.
ON BLACK.
BOO
Jo. Denver. Alice. Let’s go home.
65

66. CREDITS
THE GHOST FACTORY
WRITER/DIRECTOR/HEAD - Cameron LeBrun
SCRIPT EDITOR - Katrina Clairvoyant
MUSIC - Thor Speeler, Cameron LeBrun
SOUND DESIGN - Andres Buitrago, David Geyer, Fletcher Gaddy, Jacob Lundy, Ramiro
Sambueza
MIX & MASTER - Matthew Kyong
ART - Bella Wynne, Locke Reinhardt, and doritofalls
BOBBY YORKE - Kyle Parker
EMMA WOOTEN - Liz Mina
LOGAN GOLDBERG - Trent Trachtenberg
JO MAGARO - Sally Roberts
BOO CURTIS - Alex Redd
FINN DENVER - Joseph Kitembo
ADAM - Thomas Annunziata
JENNY - Alla Strobel
FATHER - Rick McNeil
CHILD - Gianna Granese
SPECIAL THANKS - Shooka Saket
PATRONS - Sierra, Ben Walter, Grinleysspa, Jupiter Defense Squad, Moony Boons,
MuricanPye, Bina, Happidragon, Criminal Frog, K. Lovechilde, Lukas King, Katrina Redman,
66

67. August Ure, Mic Drop, LivinLuxuriouslySelena, Kelly Brennan, Ash, Shoshi, Shep, Nicole
Collard, Emma, MishaWarlock, Sarah, and CJ Taylor-Caldwell!
67