WKA #9: Detective Files - "BOO MEETS DENVER PART 1" TRANSCRIPT.pdf

WHO KILLED ALASKA
#9 - DETECTIVE FILES: BOO MEETS DENVER PART 1
written by
Cameron Cooper LeBrun

DENVER [narrator]
Roslyn Village has one decent bar.
Down the street from the clock tower, overlooking an empty parking lot, is a hotel simply
called “The Roslyn,” where the rooms pack a price but the liquor is just fine. After a long day of
work, I might stop by the hotel bar. And on one night of that kind, I get a few glasses of whiskey
before a thought strikes me like lightning. I realize I might’ve made a breakthrough in the case.
So I turn on my microphone, and that goes a little something… something like this.
“THE ROSLYN” HOTEL.
DENVER
(drunkenly) I’ve got it. Outsiders is just a code for… (vague mumbling) And he was just leaving
me a message, because it was… it was Alaska, killed himself. I’ve got a question. Wait for it.
Which way is the men’s room?
BARTENDER
It’s still right there. Finn, look where I’m pointing. Look at my finger. Do you see where I’m
pointing?
DENVER
I knew that. I was kidding. Off I go, to the baf— bah— baths—
STRANGER
Hey!
DENVER
Basshole. Restroom! To the restroom.
2

BATHROOM.
He flushes the toilet. Just threw up.
DENVER [narrator]
The whiskey’s churning in my stomach, and unfortunately, I miss the toilet bowl by a few feet.
There I am, rolling up my sleeves on the hotel bar’s bathroom floor, wiping up my mess… and in
walks the bartender.
Door opens. Wiping sounds.
DENVER
Shit.
BARTENDER
Finn, are you doing okay? Did you pass out?
DENVER
Good. Just cleaning up a mess I made.
BARTENDER
Alright, well I’m cutting you off for the night. You can head home when you’re done.
DENVER
I’m just tipsy. But that is your right as an American so I’ll be true to your decision. Come over to
the door, I’m gonna pass you money under that part.
3

Coins are thrown across tile floors.
BARTENDER
(singing to himself) God bless America… (spoken) Finn, these are German quarters or
something.
DENVER
I collect coins. Vive la France.
BARTENDER
Okay, it’s fine. Take these back, and get home safe.
4

ELEVATOR.
DENVER [narrator]
I stand in the elevator and watch the numbers change a minute at a time. It’s about the slowest
elevator I’ve ever been in.
The elevator dings. Doors open.
DENVER
Hey, how’s it going. No, you’re good. I’m holding the door! There you go. Come on in.
A long pause.
BOO
You dropped this.
DENVER
Oh. Thanks.
DENVER [narrator]
Somehow, the stranger in the elevator seems familiar. I can barely look straight at this person,
and I’m fading in and out of consciousness where I stand, but there’s something about this
stranger. Something important I’m forgetting. I stare at the stranger and the stranger stares back
at me. I stare at the stranger. The stranger stares at me. I stare at the stranger— Naw, you get it.
5

BOO
What’s, uh, what, um, why’re you looking at me?
Song: “Mr Lonely.”
DENVER
Are you homeless?
BOO
What?
DENVER [narrator]
It’s the whiskey talking. I have no idea what I’m saying.
DENVER
Why are— why do you carry your stuff around on your back? Like a snail.
BOO
Okay, yes, I am a person without home, but I also don’t know you.
DENVER
But I was just wondering why you’re in a hotel.
BOO
Okay, well you know what, fuck you too, buddy. I was sneaking in to get a shower. Oh, you’re
gonna ask a homeless guy, oh, why’re you in this beautiful building? Y’know, y’know, because
eff me for wanting to shower, right? Cause I don’t have rights? Well you know what? I guess I
don’t belong here! I should go suck some other homeless dude’s dick—
6

BOO
—in some alleyway for the impoverished
where nobody has to see me with their rich
people eyeballs! Ohh, if you’re so fucking
sorry then unsay it! Damage is done, buddy!
DENVER
That’s NOT WHAT I SAID, SORRY,
SORRY, I’M SO SORRY, I DIDN’T MEAN
IT LIKE THAT! THAT’S NOT WHAT I
SAID, SORRY, SORRY SORRY! I AM
VERY SYMPATHETIC TO THE
HOMELESS COMMUNITY! NO NO NO
NO WAIT!
Ding.
DENVER [narrator]
The elevator doors open.
Elevator doors open.
LOBBY ATTENDANT
AH! I KNEW IT! IT’S YOU!
DENVER [narrator]
And beneath a gold chandelier reflecting across marble in an all-mirror interior, the lobby
attendant stands up at his desk. He looks to us, in the elevator. And he runs straight for us.
7

LOBBY ATTENDANT
GET OUT OF HERE! I’M CALLING THE COPS!
BOO
No no no I’m not here! Bye!
DENVER [narrator]
And the stranger closes the elevator doors.
DENVER
Ohmygodwhat’shappening?
BOO
Sorry, I gotta go! That guy knows I keep using the showers without staying here.
DENVER
I couldn’t tell you what crime that is but, mm, you’re definitely in trouble.
BOO
Alright, we’re going up!
Elevator button is clicked.
DENVER
What’re you doing? There’s no exit on the second floor.
BOO
I am very sorry but I need to get to the second floor so I can climb out the window and just
pretend I was never here.
8

DENVER
That sounds dangerous.
BOO
Yeah no shit.
DENVER
What if he chases you?
BOO
He won’t. I’m a homeless person on private property. He’s calling the cops right now. (pauses)
Are you drunk?
DENVER
Tipsy. Can I help you out?
BOO
Why?
DENVER
Hm. I dunno.
BOO
I guess!
DENVER
Yay.
Ding. Doors open.
Running out of the elevator.
9

BOO
Let’s go.
CLIMBING OUT THE WINDOW.
Window opens.
Song: “Fuck You Kyle.”
BOO
Here we go!
DENVER
I’ve gotcha.
BOO
Wooo, I’m gonna die.
DENVER
You’re fine! I’m basically spotting you.
Boo struggles.
DENVER
You’re fine! You’re fine! Keep on keeping on. You? You’re fine.
10

OUTSIDE.
DENVER
You’re good now. I think.
BOO
Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.
Walking stops. Boo opens his car door.
BOO
You got a home, man? I don’t wanna be presumptuous.
DENVER
Yeah, um. Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna catch the bus.
Denver’s keys fall down.
BOO
You dropped this.
DENVER
Oh. Thanks.
BOO
How about, uh. Y’know, if you want… You want a ride? Up to you.
11

DENVER
Have you heard that song that’s like…
Denver makes sounds.
BOO
Uh-huh?
DENVER
The one that goes like… it’s like… (makes some sounds)
Boo opens car door.
BOO
Okay, I love the energy—
DENVER
It’s like— (more weird sounds)
BOO
—but your answer to “do you want a ride” seems to be “have you heard of this song I know,”
and then you did a really good dead dog impression. I think I’m driving you home, my guy.
12

BOO’S CAR.
DENVER
I… have a feeling like you’re an important person… but I don’t know why. I feel like… I feel
like I shouldn’t be tipsy for this, for like, for like, meeting you?
BOO
You know me?
DENVER
I don’t know how.
BOO
For some reason I feel like I know you from somewhere, too.
DENVER
You don’t look like any girl I’ve seen.
Pause.
BOO
That would absolutely track. Considering I’m not a girl.
DENVER
I’ve never really thought a girl was pretty.
BOO
You’re drunk, man.
13

DENVER
I think you’re important. I have this feeling that… our, like, destinies are… inder- no.
Intertwined. Yeah, that’s it. Intertwined.
BOO
What?
DENVER
Something I can’t remember but maybe I’m just thinking that because you? (whistles) You’re
very pretty.
BOO
I’m literally wearing a mask. My face is not visible. I’m not a girl. I don’t even look like one.
Can you stop looking at me? You, you’re actually so plastered, dude. I’m starting to consider
dropping you off at the hospital.
DENVER
This— wait, wait, that was my house. You missed it.
BOO
Oh. I’ll loop around. Thanks for helping me out, um. I mean, you’re almost certainly too wasted
to remember this conversation come morning. Alright, I’m just gonna say it. You shouldn’t flirt
with me. ‘Cause when people flirt with me, I, uh, I, uh, I— yeah. You just think I’m a girl,
alright, but, y’know. Maybe you’ll flirt with me, and then I’ll like it too much? Okay, forget I
said that. I’m, uh. I was just saying words. Forget about me.
Car slows to a stop.
14

DENVER
Alright, I’ll forget about you. G’night.
BOO
Uh. Sure. Okay. Good night.
DENVER [narrator]
I wake up the next morning with my microphone still on.
DENVER’S HOME.
Denver is snoring. A snore gets caught in his throat.
DENVER
That was Boo Curtis.
DENVER [narrator]
As soon as I know his name, the spell is broken. And him and I, Boo Curtis and me, could never
really be friends again. Not after we knew who we were. Not after we realized what story we
were telling. Because, there’s no way to un-kill Alaska Curtis. Our roles were set in stone the
instant the knife broke skin.
15

THEME SONG STARTS
DENVER [narrator]
Welcome to Who Killed Alaska: Detective Files, an original series by The Ghost Factory. This is
Episode 9: “Boo Meets Denver.” Listeners be warned that this series may be inappropriate for
younger audiences, and content throughout may be alarming or upsetting. Welcome to the
Detective Files. Welcome to the truth.
THEME SONG ENDS
16

STUMP TOWN.
DENVER
Boo!
JO
Boo!
DENVER
Come on, we’re looking for you! Oh, that
rhymed!
JO
C’mere Boo! (whistles) C’mere boy!
JO
Booooooo! Where the hell is he? I swear to god, I’m actually getting worried.
DENVER
We’ve been looking thirty minutes.
JO
It’s felt like hours.
DENVER
We can take a break. Let’s grab some cocoa and have some lunch. Then we’ll keep going.
JO
I’d like cocoa.
DENVER [narrator]
So. Everybody’s gotta be wondering. Why am I suddenly out in the snow, looking for Boo
Curtis? A lot has changed in the past few months. For example: Boo Curtis has been put on trial.
But let’s begin from the middle. We begin… with a phone call.
17

DENVER’S PRIVATE EYE AGENCY.
HOST [phone]
Boo has been causing issues recently. We’ve decided it would be best for the show if you
resolved things on mic. Are you ready to meet Boo Curtis?
DENVER [narrator]
Oh, you betcha.
DENVER’S KITCHEN
DENVER
Okay, so here’s what’s happening! Today is Wednesday, February 16th, 2022. And today, I’m
going to meet Boo Curtis.
We’ve heard from Bobby. And according to him, Boo’s been burning evidence. My job is
to stop Boo from sabotaging the investigation, and potentially, if I’m in a good mood, I’ll get
Boo to keep investigating Alaska’s death. At least, our production company wants me to get him
back on the case so he can keep making new episodes. But then again, that is not in my contract.
So we’ll see.
To help me out, I’m also bringing on an expert in Boo Curtis— guess who? It’s Suspect
5! Jo Magaro!
JO’S HOUSE.
JO
Bruh, we can just use our phones. You didn’t have to get us walkie-talkies.
18

DENVER [also using walkie talkie]
We don’t— we don’t have to use the walkie-talkies. But I thought it would be cute. And fun.
Over.
DENVER’S KITCHEN
DENVER
A blizzard is sweeping through the island today, but hey, no time like the present! Back when I
was in school, I once went on a government-sponsored trip to Holland and because of a fatal
mistype and a wrong turn I actually ended up in the mountains in an unknown foreign country.
So me and my Uber driver ended up backpacking in the Himalayas until I fashioned a flare using
regulation self-defense gear and a few metal pieces from my dismantled phone. The experience
made me who I am. Finding Boo in a snowstorm should be easy money. Just gotta wear enough
pants.
DENVER
Shoe one— OW! I stubbed my friggin’ toe.
DENVER [narrator]
At the start of every day, I remind myself that today could be difficult.
DENVER
Frick!
DENVER [narrator]
Today could be trying, and I’m prepared to be scared and overwhelmed. Everything is always
worth a try, and a try is worth your confidence.
19

STUMP TOWN.
JO
BOO!
DENVER
BOO! You really think he’ll be here?
JO
Honey, I have no idea. But I sure hope so.
DENVER [narrator]
There’s a little more to this story. Since the last episode’s release, Boo got caught up in a criminal
court case and suffered jail-time, only because he couldn’t afford bail. That is a completely
different issue, and it has to do with Glory Johnson.
Song: “Bury Me.”
DENVER [narrator]
As recorded in episode 8, Boo found Glory alive in Stump Town. That incriminated Boo. When
he showed the world that Glory was found, and he was claiming some kind of supernatural
happening, it made him look like a criminal.
Unfortunately, Boo might be telling the truth when he says that the supernatural caused
Glory’s disappearance. I’m getting confident that Glory’s soul really left her body behind, and
that her body really is an empty husk, some kind of zombie— walking around without a soul
20

inside. And of course, I have to believe that Glory Johnson was an Outsider, whatever that
means. Maybe Glory was never human in the first place.
Boo’s had a rough few months. Can you really blame him for causing some trouble now?
STUMP TOWN.
JO
By the way, what did Boo do? Why’s he in trouble?
DENVER
He’s been burning evidence, apparently. And he stopped investigating, so the people who work
on the podcast are mad at him.
JO
Oh! I thought it’d have to do with the thing that he was arrested for.
DENVER
No.
JO
What happened with that again? I am familiar with that story and all, just, maybe I can know,
like, twice.
DENVER
Right. Well.
DENVER [narrator]
For that, we have audio from Boo’s own microphone, provided to me by The Ghost Factory.
21

BOO’S CAR.
GLORY
Praise. Number. Word. Hospitality. Hostile. Cooperative. Suffer.
BOO
I’m pulling you out of the car, okay, Glory?
Help me out if you can. There you go.
GLORY
The. And. Of. Bubblegum. Suffer. Suffer.
Suffer. Skin. Silent.
ROSLYN.
BOO
Glory. Are you ready to see your parents again?
Door swings open.
GLORY
Nothing.
GLORY’S HOUSE.
GLORY’S MOTHER
Who the hell is this person you brought into my living room!?
BOO
It’s Glory! It’s Glory! It’s your daughter!
22

GLORY’S MOTHER
This is not my daughter! That is not my daughter!
GLORY’S MOTHER
What did you do to Glory!? I’m calling the
police!
BOO
Look at her! She’s here!
BOO
She just needs some love from her mom and dad!
GLORY’S HOUSE.
Police car’s siren. Boo is being handcuffed.
OFFICER
You have the right to remain silent.
BOO
Can you let me say bye to Glory first? She doesn’t understand what’s going on.
OFFICER
Come on.
POLICE CAR.
DENVER [narrator]
Boo was taken in by the Nassau County Police after delivering Glory to her parents. On the 17th
of January, Boo was tried for the kidnapping of Glory Johnson. After a month and a half of jail
23

time, Boo was ruled “not guilty.” The judge was quoted saying, “It’s unclear to me what actually
happened here, but if I understand one thing, it’s that Mr Curtis is not guilty. At the very least, he
did not kidnap Miss Johnson. The issue of Mr Curtis’s brother extends outside the bounds of this
trial. In regards to that, I hope we won’t be seeing you in court again, Sir.” She also commented
on Boo’s homelessness, saying, “It’s a shame what your parents have done to you. Make
financial stability your priority. It’s hard, but you can’t give up on yourself.” Glory has since
been staying with her parents.
GLORY’S HOUSE.
Glory is humming.
DENVER [narrator]
A little birdie tells me that Glory spends hours a day pressing her face to a window. She’s been
diagnosed with an unspecified neurological disorder. Sometimes she speaks. But her words lack
any sense. When she gets her hands on a pen or a pencil, she likes to draw holes. The only thing
she seems to understand is burying herself. I don’t know what these people think happened to
Glory Johnson. Maybe they just don’t wanna talk about it.
GLORY’S MOTHER
Glory? Are you coming to lunch?
GLORY
Kill Alaska.
24

STUMP TOWN.
JO
Brutal.
DENVER
Yep.
JO
Nice recap, though.
DENVER
Yep.
DENVER [narrator]
Boo doesn’t live by a schedule, so he’s not an easy guy to find. But we keep on keeping on.
ECHOEY ROOM.
JO
Boooooo!
DENVER
Boo!
OUTSIDE.
JO
Boo!
25

DENVER
Boo Curtis!
YOLO FROZEN YOGURT.
DENVER / JO
Boo!
TYLER
Why’re you booing me?
Jo starts laughing hysterically.
DENVER
Oh, (chuckles) we’re just trying to find Boo
Curtis. We’ve been looking everywhere for
him.
JO
It’s funny because his name is Boo. My brain
is so empty.
TYLER
I’m Tyler, the manager slash Boo’s spicy hot ex-boyfriend.
DENVER
Oh!
TYLER
His shift ended an hour ago. Does everywhere include St Francis?
26

JO
Where?
TYLER
The hospital?
JO
Boo’s in the hospital? Is he okay?
DENVER
Is he okay!?
TYLER
He said the blizzard’s gonna be bad tonight. Like bad bad. You know how he lives out of his car?
JO
Kinda?
TYLER
When the weather’s bad, he stays in the hospital parking garage. He started doing that when his
dog almost (clicks tongue) died, last winter.
JO
Oh, Boo…
DENVER
Jo.
JO
Yeah?
DENVER
(into walkie-talkie) You’re driving.
27

PARKING GARAGE.
DENVER
Boo?
JO
Boo, are you here?
DENVER
Where is he?
JO
Let me turn on my flashlight.
BOO
Wuh… Who, is…
DENVER
I’m finally meeting you, Boo Curtis.
BOO
Detective Denver.
DENVER
You know who I am.
BOO
I figured it out. (pauses) Hello, Jo.
JO
You okay?
28

DENVER [narrator]
Boo Curtis is laying on the ground by the wall, covered in a heated blanket, hooked up to a
portable battery. Beneath the blanket, two other shapes: a strange little family around Boo Curtis.
The light of Jo’s flashlight reveals Boo’s cute fluffy white dog, who I’m secretly naming Selena,
and then a girl, staring at the ceiling: it’s Glory Johnson.
DENVER
That’s her? Do her parents know that she’s here?
BOO
No. But they wouldn’t care anymore. They pity me. They hate her now.
GLORY
Ssssssssss… I left a few hair ties at the bottom of the ocean.
JO
(whispering) Holy shit.
BOO
Do you need something, Detective?
DENVER
Let’s go somewhere warmer than this. We’re gonna have a conversation.
BOO
Okay?
DENVER
Jo and I can hippety-hop into your car. I said something funny and charming. Why is no one
laughing? Anyway, Boo can drive us.
29

BOO
Okay? Well, why can’t you use your own car?
DENVER
We’re out of gas.
DENVER [narrator]
But that’s a lie. Can you imagine, if we took separate cars and he just drove off? Now that I’ve
got my hands on Boo Curtis, I can’t let him get away. He’s mine now.
30

BOO’S CAR.
BOO
Well. I can kind of see the road, at least.
JO
Boo, honey. My main man. I have the most garbage immune system. It’s a mess, it’s a curse, I
could unalive any day now. I’m practically getting frostbite just thinking about it.
BOO
Okay?
JO
All that to say, can we just fully crank the heat?
BOO
It’s all the way up right now.
JO
Mm! I see. I see you! Good! Great!
DENVER [narrator]
Boo keeps glancing around in slow, easy turns of the head. Every motion is calm and methodical.
I can’t help feeling like this isn’t the usual Boo, like this isn’t the man I’ve heard on our podcast.
Hearsay says, Boo’s not great behind the wheel most days. He’s the type to make U-turns
at stoplights. He drives the wrong way down one-way streets, and Jo says he’s driven with two
wheels up on the curb or four wheels on the sidewalk. But he seems different from that; maybe
more focused today. I look to Jo. She’s gripping her knees. Anxious.
31

DENVER
(whispering) Is Boo talking differently from normal?
JO
(whispering) Absolutely, he is. Definitely.
DENVER
(whispering) I guess this is stressful for him.
JO
(whispering) He’s not stressed. I’m doubting it’s the blizzard. He’s kinda dead inside right now.
DENVER
Boo.
BOO
Detective Denver.
DENVER
Tell me what the hell you’re doing.
BOO
Excuse me?
DENVER
You’re excused. Are you burning evidence, Boo? Why are you burning evidence?
BOO
I see. You’re trying to corner me. While I’m driving.
DENVER
Maybe. But you don’t have anything to hide, do you?
32

BOO
I don’t. I’m comfortable saying I did decide to set a couple things on fire.
DENVER [narrator]
According to Bobby, it was two pieces of evidence that Boo destroyed. One: an empty box from
the scene of the crime, and two: a ripped off piece of clothing. But there could always be more.
Apparently, Boo made a proper fire pit in the middle of Stump Town, just for burning evidence.
Bobby found him warming his hands by the fire and strumming acoustic covers of Radiohead
songs.
PHONE RECORDING.
Boo is playing guitar.
BOBBY
Hey Boo!
He stops.
BOO
Bobby! What’re you doing here?
BOBBY
I always come here, you silly bean.
33

BOO
Right. Yes.
BOBBY
So! This, um, kind of a wacky setup you’ve got goin’ on here. Whatcha doin’?
BOO
What am I doing here? I had some bad memories I wanted to burn to a crisp. Logan gave me this
thing ‘cause he said it might be evidence.
BOBBY
The thing in the fire? That’s evidence? That’s valid.
BOO
It’s the rag Logan used to stop the bleeding when he got shot by the killer.
BOBBY
Cool, um. Hey, yeah, that’s cool!
BOO’S CAR.
BOO
I set them on fire because I’m done investigating. I’m not doing it anymore. Jo, I might not have
a rear-view but I can still see you when I turn around.
JO
I’m just—
34

BOO
Don’t look so surprised. I’ve realized that I was in denial and that there’s no way for me, a
completely average citizen, to figure out who killed Alaska. I never understood what people
meant about meditation. I’m seeing things a lot more clearly now.
DENVER
That’s mature of you. Meditation’s important.
BOO
Meditation is very important. And I realized that this case is unsolvable. Nobody’s that good. So
I burned all the evidence I had.
DENVER
Boo. Boo, why do you have to burn anything?
BOO
Ah, there’s a reason for that, so, no pun intended, I’m realizing that burning bridges is necessary.
And healthy. I’m at peak self-awareness right now, but there’s always a chance that my self-
awareness will deteriorate—
GLORY
I’m Glory.
BOO
Yes you are. And if I lose my current state of self-awareness, I might get back on the case. If I
damage the evidence, I won’t get stuck analyzing it over and over again. So, I have to destroy it
completely. Let me offer you a sense of scale: smack was an easier addiction to handle than
whining about Alaska’s death.
35

GLORY
I’m Glory.
BOO
Excellent point, Glory.
JO
Honeyyy, I’m sensing some spiraling in that beautiful head of yours. Tell-a Josephina. You are
distressed, you are out of it. Tell me what’s happening, darling.
BOO
I appreciate the concern but my well-being is currently private territory.
JO
Yeah, of course! Can I offer you something to drink, Mr Curtis? I got some chardonnay for a cute
little boozy picnic party with Sam and Kat, and guess what? I never used the backup bottle!
BOO
Alright, I’m just gonna call it here.
JO
Mm?
BOO
This conversation’s done. I’m very comfy talking about this, but I have a right to my privacy.
DENVER
You what? What’re we going to do if I’m not going to question you?
BOO
You did question me. Then I answered. Now chill.
36

DENVER
Don’t you care about Alaska’s death?
BOO
Of course I do.
DENVER
So why are you giving up on Alaska?
Car stops.
BOO
I’m taking a walk.
JO
No you’re not. There’s a fucking blizzard!
Car door opens. Car starts beeping with its hazard signal.
BOO
Watch me.
JO
He’s fucking insane! He’s gonna DIE OUT THERE! Fucking idiot—
JO
You stay here.
37

DENVER
Sure.
Jo runs off.
DENVER
How’s it going, Glory Johnson? (pauses) Yeesh.
GLORY
My stomach is too big and it’s falling out. Almond butter.
DENVER
Cool. I hate this. I hate this so much. I’m fucking tired of this job— not gonna lie.
BOO [from outside]
LET GO OF ME!
JO [from outside]
Are you stupid!? It’s four degrees! There’s icicles! And ice! Do you wanna die!?
BOO [from outside]
THE ONLY DANGER TO MY LIFE IS YOU! IT’S YOU, OKAY!?
DENVER
Woah.
Boo is thrown into the car.
38

JO
CALM DOWN OR I’M GONNA SIT ON YOU!
BOO
I’M CALM!
JO
THEN GO DRIVE!
BOO
If you’ll stop attacking me, fine. I’ll drive!
BOO
Jesus Christ, Jo. Shit.
DENVER
That wasn’t necessary.
DENVER
Oh, he’s crawling to the front seat.
BOO
Scootch… Excuse me. Just. No, it’s fine. I’m
gonna rotate. I’m rotating, I’m good. Sorry.
I’m sorry.
DENVER
Are you sure you don’t wanna go around? Oh
god. Ohhh, I’ve got your leg. There are too
many body parts in my face. You got it? Are
you okay? That was a lot.
Car doors shut.
39

DENVER
Okay well a certain Mr Bobby Yorke texted back. He says he’s taking shelter at a bookstore in
the village. It’s closed but they’re letting him wait for the storm to ease off.
JO
There’s a bookstore in the village? There’s no smart people in Roslyn!
BOO
Might as well. Nowhere else to go and it’s two minutes away.
GLORY
I’m jealous of astronauts.
40

AD BREAK
DENVER
(whispering) Our Patreon is—
BOO
What?
DENVER
Nothing. (whispering) Visit our Patreon at Patreon.com/WhoKilledAlaska.
BOO
Are you whispering about me?
DENVER
I’m, I’m not whispering. I’m not saying anything.
BOO
Whatever, man.
DENVER
(whispering) Go listen to our new bonus
episode on Patreon, called “Even More
Haunted,” because it’s spooky and very fun.
And you’ll like it. It costs only $5 and that
money goes to supporting Who Killed Alaska
and making sure we can keep putting out new
episodes.
BOO
I’m looking— Okay, this LOOKS like the
Northern State Parkway.
JO
It looks like Powerhouse Road.
BOO
That mound of snow looks like it could
actually be the giant fan outside Dunkin,
which would make this Powerhouse Road.
41

DENVER
(whispering) Be there or be square. By the
way, the bonus episode is just one thing of the
many things on our Patreon— go listen to our
bloopers, our soundtrack, and watch the cast
react to episodes on video. What cast are we
talking about? Can someone email me back
and tell me what cast means here? I like to
know what I’m saying. And obviously we
don’t have a cast for this show because
everything is real. By the way, if you donate
$10 or more in the month of April, you’ll get
a merch package including Boo’s mug from
the cover art. So that’s pretty cool, ain’t it?
Thank you to our Patrons for making this
show possible— that’s Rick Troxel,
Grinleysspa, LavenderKozzy, and Sarah.
Please check out Patreon.com/
WhoKilledAlaska!
JO
Dude, it might be safer to walk.
BOO
Actually, Jo, I wanted to talk to you about
something about Dunkin’. [inaudible] I’m
glad they took donuts out of the name. Okay,
it is cop imagery. It’s like we know you’re
Dunkin’, you sell donuts. You don’t need it in
the name, it’s redundant. And I don’t want to
be anti-cop, I know, I mean I WANT to be
anti-cop— I get it, firefighters are like the
cousins of cops, but I’m trying to make a
point, and my point is, I think Dunkin’ made
the right call. Okay, but that’s easy. Mailmen
are the nobler version of cops. I think we’re
on the same side, I really do, I don’t know
why all the yelling has to happen. I mean if
donuts were like a firefighters thing, I mean I
don’t love firefighters.
BOO
But I wouldn’t be like, mad that Dunkin’ had donuts in their name. But no, it’s cop imagery!
42

OUTSIDE.
JO
BOO! STOP! STRUGGLING!
BOO
I’M GONNA GO!
JO
YOU HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!
BOOKSTORE.
JO
BOO CURTIS STOP RUNNING FOR NO REASON!— Ohhhhh it’s WARM!
DENVER
Bobby, hey!!
Door is closed.
BOBBY
Ohhhh it is so good to see you folks! Heck yeah heck yeah heck yeah! I was thinking you were
all gonna be super dead and I would have to go to your funerals! Sad face!
BOO
Hello, Bobby.
JO
Hi!
GLORY
Try again later.
43

BOBBY
BOO!
A hug.
BOO
Oh, yup. Hugging me. Okay.
BOBBY
POUNCED YA! I pounced on you! Boo, you look so snazzy today! Like especially considering
Glory came back without a soul and then you almost went to prison! Oh my god I just, I just love
you so much!
DENVER
Where’s the staff? Did they leave?
BOBBY
Oh they’re just organizing stock in the back. This is so cool, my, my dudes! I mean we are
snowed in together! Boo, do you wanna play some games? Like tic tac to?
BOO
I’m heading to the restroom.
BOBBY
Oh! Okay.
DENVER
You need a book in the bathroom?
44

BOO
Hey, how I use my bathroom time? Not your business.
JO
He’s gonna be a real pain in the rear today.
DENVER [narrator]
Gradually, snow encases the bookstore doors. I sit with Bobby and Jo and we make smalltalk.
Boo doesn’t come back from the bathroom. After an hour or two, I go to check on him.
Knocking on bathroom door.
DENVER
Boo. Are you okay in there?
DENVER [narrator]
But I don’t have the brazenness of a bartender to walk in on a man’s toilet experience. That’s
gross. I leave him be. I realize that he’s avoiding me and I let him read alone in the bathroom,
like some kind of weirdo. I don’t judge him for the weirdo behavior, by the way. I’m a weird guy
in plenty of ways.
Bazinga.
Jo paces back and forth, calling every family member she has, just to check in.
Sometimes we tune into the radio through our phones, leaning back against the bookshelves and
hearing about the weather. And me and Bobby hang out. It is a little bit dope.
45

A chess piece clacks onto the board.
DENVER
Check.
Another chess piece.
BOBBY
Checkmate.
DENVER
Yup. You win again.
BOBBY
Oh my goodness. Boo is ALIVE!
BOO
Yup. It’s me.
BOBBY
What, you fall in or something, man?
BOBBY
Welcome back, buddy! It’s just not the same without ya!
BOO
Got a stomach ache. I’m just grabbing another book and then I’m going back in.
46

DENVER
Uh, Bobby, I can’t win this. You’re just gonna keep beating me.
BOBBY
Aw, no, no, no, you’re good!
DENVER
Boo, can you take over for me? The chess. Bobby needs somebody to play against. (whispers)
I’m tired of chess.
Boo sighs.
BOO
Fine.
Boo sits down.
BOO
But I’m not that good at chess anymore. I haven’t played in five years or something.
BOBBY
You’re gonna friggin beat me! I can tell already, Boo! Go ahead— white moves first.
Chess commences.
47

DENVER
Had a good time in the bathroom?
BOO
No.
DENVER
What’ll it take for you to stop burning evidence?
BOO
I’m here to play chess, Detective. This investigation is hopeless and someone needs to call it
eventually. Hold on, let me stop you. I can tell from the look on your face that you’re about to
start interrogating me proper, so I think it’s my place to say, I’m five seconds from— not reacting
well. So thank you in advance for not pushing me—
DENVER
Maybe we do need you back on this investigation.
BOO
I think I have placed my boundaries on that. Thank you for the suggestion.
DENVER
Okay. You have the right. You can decide for yourself.
BOO
That is definitely correct.
DENVER
Just prove to me that this isn’t a phase, and that you’re absolutely sure you’re done with the
investigation.
48

BOO
Nice tactic.
DENVER
Scout’s honor.
BOO
And now I believe you. So what, you want me to prove myself? How would that work?
DENVER
I want to see you investigate one more time. If you believe in quitting that much then you can
start and stop. And then I’ll leave you alone.
A beat of silence. The chess pieces stop moving.
DENVER
You okay?
The clack of a piece. The game continues.
BOO
Then I’ll get this out of the way asap.
DENVER
Oh.
49

BOO
Hey Bobby. What happened the night Alaska died?
BOBBY
Oh. Uh. I don’t remember that stuff. I’ve told you that already.
BOO
Ahh. Right. Tell me again what you do remember.
BOBBY
Sure!
DENVER [narrator]
This isn’t what I expected.
BOBBY
I’m getting used to telling this part now, so my inner demons, they don’t even bother me— I was
lying down in the woods when I realized my hand was gone, and then I started screaming, and
flapping my bony wrist around. How’s that for a wave!
GLORY
I’m Glory.
BOO
But what happened before that?
BOBBY
Don’t remember. So cluesies! Your knight is mine. Heheheheh.
BOO
Hey, that’s a good move! Y’know, it’s weird, I could’ve sworn you were walking in the tall grass.
50

BOBBY
Really? Did you see me?
BOO
No. You told me, remember? You were walking around in the tall grass, and that’s when you
bumped into Alaska. You can take my pawn, you know. It’s open.
BOBBY
Sure! Can do. And uh, I did walk in the tall grass. But that was before my memory blackout.
BOO
Was it?
BOBBY
I think.
BOO
Was it?
BOBBY
I don’t know.
GLORY
Potato salad.
DENVER [narrator]
Pushing Bobby like this isn’t going to work. This is a very dangerous game Boo’s playing right
now, and I don’t mean chess. Unless the pieces are made out of wood, and you get splinters.
DENVER
Boo, be careful.
51

BOO
What did you say?
DENVER
I said be careful.
BOO
Hmm. So Bobby. Huh. So, Bobby— Huh, okay. Bobby, you were in the tall grass, and then
eventually, you were lying down in the woods and you were hurt. How did you get from the tall
grass to the woods?
BOBBY
I guess that I walked.
BOO
Can you remember walking there?
DENVER [narrator]
This is going too far. At this rate, Boo is going to change Bobby’s memories.
DENVER
Boo.
BOO
Hm. Mm. Sure.
DENVER
Don’t ask questions if you’re looking for a specific answer.
BOO
Huh. Okay. I see. Sure thing, Detective.
52

BOBBY
Okay, y’know what? I think I remember walking there. Yeah. Oh, shoot. Maybe taking that pawn
was a bad idea.
BOO
Then. Let’s see. Focus on that walk. It was a long walk, wasn’t it?
BOBBY
Yeah. Yeah, something like 15 minutes.
DENVER
Ask him more general questions. You’re getting too far into the nitty-gritty.
BOO
“General questions.” Bobby, when on your walk did you lose your hand?
DENVER
Jesus.
BOBBY
I must’ve been in the grass.
BOO
Who were you with?
BOBBY
Nobody. Just me.
BOO
Then who cut off your hand?
53

BOBBY
I don’t know!
BOO
Check. What were you holding when you were on your walk?
DENVER
That’s a leading question.
BOO
Fine. Did you have anything on you?
BOBBY
I had a knife.
BOO
Did it stay in your pocket? Who touched it?
DENVER
Boo, that’s a dangerous question.
BOO
Thank you for your input.
DENVER
You’re going to give him a false memory.
BOO
Watch out for my bishop.
BOBBY
A false memory?
54

DENVER [narrator]
Yes, Bobby from the past. A false memory. (ghost sound) Ooh-wooooo.
A false memory is a remembered experience that occurred very differently in reality, or in
extreme cases, did not occur at all. If you confuse two memories, you might actually combine
them into a new and very deceptive memory: a fake event that seems clear as day. And if you tell
a story too many times, you’ll eventually generate false memories. Pretend, for example, that the
following is a true story:
JO [recording]
(bad acting) The funniest thing happened! I went to so-and-so’s house and he was watching
Frasier, and then he slipped on a slice of pizza and broke his arm!
DENVER [narrator]
That story might be true the first time, but if you keep telling it over and over, it might end up
sounding like this:
JO [recording]
(bad acting) Oh, I remember that! It was so dumb! I was in so-and-so’s garage and he was
talking about Cheers, and then he stepped in a bowl of lasagna and somehow broke his arm! Can
you imagine? Gee willikers.
DENVER [narrator]
A false memory is different from lying or forgetting. Every time you tell the story, you might fill
in parts you don’t remember with partial confidence.
55

JO [recording]
(bad acting) What was so-and-so talking about? Oh, yeah, he was talking about Frasier, from
Cheers!
DENVER [narrator]
And once you come up with that partial truth, you become confident with it. Once it’s said out
loud, you’re sure that so-and-so was definitely talking about Frasier from Cheers. You believe it
very quickly, and then you begin to actually remember the events differently. Memory is not a
snapshot— it’s plastic. It can change very easily. And in fact, it’s not just you that changes your
memory. Other people change your memories too.
DENVER [recording]
(bad acting) What sticky substance did so-and-so step in?
JO [recording]
(bad acting) If it was sticky, it must’ve been… lasagna!
DENVER [narrator]
That is, uh— (coughs) That’s a little bit of an exaggeration, but it’s close enough. Sometimes,
even by accident, other people can get into your head. Change your memories. And thereby
change how you feel. What you believe. Even conjure up claims of crimes that never happened.
That is a false memory.
Thank you, Jo Magaro, for performing that example. Cool stuff.
BOO
Who touched your knife, Bobby?
56

DENVER
You don’t know what you’re doing.
BOO
You sure? Stop. Hold your bishop just like that.
DENVER [narrator]
Boo goes and touches Bobby’s hand—
BOBBY
This is… Wait, I’m…
BOO
When I’m touching your hand like this, does it remind you of anything? Did someone touch your
knife, just like this?
Bobby gasps.
BOBBY
I’m getting a vision. My brain is speaking to me. My horoscope this morning, and everything
else, it’s all coming together.
BOO
Surrrrre, okay, so what are they—
BOBBY
Someone touched my knife with… calloused hands.
57

BOO
Ahhh, ok? Ok. That makes sense. Then were they… Alaska’s hands? Maybe?
BOBBY
What!?
DENVER
BOO!
BOO
Did he—
GLORY
I’m Glory.
BOO
—you know?
GLORY
I’m Glory.
BOBBY
What!?
DENVER
Boo! We’re going to have a talk, c’mon! I said get up! We need to talk!
BOO
You know what? No.
DENVER
No?
BOO
58

No. You’re a private investigator. Right? Last time I checked, that means you don’t have legal
power over me. No thank you, I will not talk to you privately. I’m going to keep having this
important conversation with my friend Bobby here.
GLORY
I’m still Glory.
BOO
Yes you are.
One final piece is moved.
BOO
Checkmate.
Pause.
BOBBY
That’s it. (pause) I got it, I…
DENVER
Bobby?
BOBBY
I remember.
DENVER
59

What do you remember?
BOBBY
Alaska took my knife… and he stumbled. He moved towards me with it… and then…
BOO
Yes?
BOBBY
I was so terrified that my hand… fell off.
BOO/DENVER
What?
BOBBY
That’s it. Guys, finally! My hand fell off! It wrinkled up… and it went and sliiiiiipped off my
wrist.
BOO
Bobby, that didn’t happen.
BOBBY
I mean my hand couldn’t’ve been scared of Alaska. No no no, it was scared of me. My body
didn’t want to be the body that killed Alaska so my hand fell off.
BOO
Don’t say that! It’s not true!
BOBBY
60

I mean it must be true because I don’t lie. We were all poisoned by the air, like, don’t forget the
fireworks. That flash of light poisoned us and our bodies became separate from our souls. And
our muscles, they fought against us. It was literal tooth and nail. And when I realized who Alaska
was, my hand fell off, so it wouldn’t be the hand that killed Alaska.
DENVER
This is nothing. This can’t mean anything. This can’t possibly mean anything! Not every
supernatural thing is true! Right? Right!?
BOO
What did you make me do?
DENVER
Hey, I didn’t do anything! That was all you!
BOO
I was following your cues.
BOBBY
What’s happening?
BOO
I was reading you, Detective Denver. I didn’t do this. I was just figuring out what was fucking
with you.
BOBBY
Guys, I’m fine. See? SMILEY FACE!
BOO
61

I’m not gonna be helpful for this. Sorry, Bobby. I’m gonna… go…
DENVER
Boo. When you make a mess, you gotta clean it up.
The door opens.
JO
Oh, shit— BOO! OH ABSOLUTELY NOT!
The door shuts.
DENVER
Jo, stop!
DENVER
Before we chase him, you should probably put on your coat.
JO
I’m fine!
DENVER
And catch this.
JO
What is this?
DENVER
62

It’s a heating pack. Put it in your coat. You’ll need it.
Zipping up coats.
BOBBY
Do you need me?
DENVER
You can hang out here. No need to get out in the cold.
BOBBY
Alrighty.
63

CREDITS
THE GHOST FACTORY
WRITER/DIRECTOR/HEAD - Cameron LeBrun
EDITOR - Nikolas Harter
MUSIC - Thor Speeler, Cameron LeBrun, Bella Wynne
SOUND DESIGN - Avery Callahan, Andrew Tikhonovich, Andres Buitrago, Chris, Jacob Lundy
SOUND TEAM MANAGEMENT - Manas Kunder
MIX & MASTER - Manas Kunder
ART - Bella Wynne, Lock Reinhardt, and doritofalls
BOBBY YORKE - Kyle Vincent Parker
JO MAGARO - Sally Roberts
BOO CURTIS - Alex Redd
GLORY JOHNSON - Lindsay Zana
DETECTIVE FINN DENVER - Joseph Kitembo
OTHER VOICES - Sally Roberts, Nikolas Harter, Dakota West
PATRONS - Rick Troxel, Grinleysspa, LavendarKozzy, Sarah
64

WKA #9: Detective Files - "BOO MEETS DENVER PART 1" TRANSCRIPT.pdf

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