This document outlines 12 common types of social media "monkeys" or personas based on their understanding and use of key performance indicators like Return on Investment (ROI). It describes personas like the "RETURN ON Incompetent" who uses fuzzy math, the "RETURN ON Impressions" obsessed with vanity metrics like followers, and the "RETURN ON Incalculable" who rejects ROI metrics altogether. The document emphasizes that ROI should focus on the relationship between gains from an investment and the costs of that investment, using the same currency to measure both.

1. 12 common types of Social Media Monkeys: A tale of R.O.I. Confusion

2. DON’T BE A MONKEY. Business Terminology Matters. Learn it.

3. Darn! Nobody told me that being a Social Media Director meant I would need to know how to do stuff! RETURN ON Incompetence

4. RETURN ON Inaccurate Use fuzzy words and fuzzy math,  get fuzzy results. What fake buzzwords really say about you.

5. RETURN ON Impact WTF? (The sports-obsessed go-getter)

6. RETURN ON Importance I think I rock! (The ambitious egomaniac)

7. RETURN ON Ignition WTF? (The clueless consultant)

8. RETURN ON Italian (Tastier than RETURN ON Identity) (The overmedicated copywriter)

9. RETURN ON Impressions My seat is broken, This movie sucks, And someone farted. Want more impressions? Attention is not a unit of return. (The Media-obsessed bean-counter)

10. RETURN ON Indecision @cocacola? @pepsi? (The MarketShare-fixated opportunist)

11. RETURN ON Idiocy (Be present in Social Media, but do nothing.) (The clueless corporate pawn)

12. RETURN ON Influence INFLUENCE Influence: The ability to produce an effect on the actions, behavior and opinions of others. (The overconfident evangelist)

13. RETURN ON Infection Beware the post-fad crash. (The “viral” obsessed account exec.)

14. RETURN ON Indulgence (The trend-watching schemer)

15. RETURN ON Infidelity (The fast-thinking spin doctor)

16. (Forget ROI altogether) INCALCULABLE RETURN ON Incalculable (The Social Media purist)

17. R.O.I. RETURN ON INVESTMENT

18. EMPHASIS ON “INVESTMENT”

19. THE “R” AND THE “I” = SAME CURRENCY

20. THE R.O.I. EQUATION (GAIN FROM INVESTMENT - COST OF INVESTMENT) ROI = COST OF INVESTMENT

21. Presented to SMC Greenville on Thursday July 30, 2009 – Greenville, SC Image credit: Slides 1, 7, 17, 18, 19, 20 copyright Olivier Blanchard 2009 All other images ripped from Google Images and may be subject to copyright protection.