Using Nonviolent communication in English Language Teaching - ppt introduces ideas for use in the EFL classroom to help teens or adults understand concepts of nvc

1. How do you feel and what
do you need?
Using NVC to promote
peaceful communication
in English Language Classes
ellenh@kansaigaidai.ac.jp

2. Overview of this session
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Who is Marshall Rosenberg and what is NVC?
Why learn or teach NVC?
Four activities
1) Value-free observation
2) River of needs
3) Tree of communication
4) Role play activity “giraffe” and “jackal”

3. Marshall Rosenberg
Kike!
Detroit 1943
1961 University of
Wisconsin Madison
phD in Psychology

4. Nonviolent communication basics
•Say what you see/ hear/ remember/
imagine
•Say what you feel
•Say what you need
•Say what you request

5. What can go wrong?

6. …be perfect
I wish I could be like…
I could never…
I’m so terrible at…..
I’m so lazy

7. Why learn/teach NVC?
• NVC teaches useful skills for relating to oneself
• NVC teaches useful skills and language for
relating to others
• NVC can help disambiguate situations of
intercultural confusion
• Interesting content
• Ready-made bank of vocabulary, role play and
discourse analysis activities

9. What’s going to happen?
• The elephant will ask the deer if he could go
across first and the deer will agree?
• The elephant will ask the deer if he could go
across first and the deer will disagree?
• Something else?

11. • The elephant resorted to force in order to get
what he wanted.
• How do you think the deer felt?

12. ……….probably!

13. • Resorting to force is not a good idea because
the victim might want revenge!

14. • What could the elephant have done to make
his request more acceptable?

15. • Excuse me. I see that you want to cross the
river. I feel so worried because I have an
important meeting to go to and I am a bit late.
I need to get across the river right now. I
wonder if you could possibly let me go across
first? I would be so grateful!

16. In at the deep end..
Value-free observation
Which statements are value-free?
A I didn’t do my ironing on Sunday. I watched “I-San wind of the pa
and did yoga instead of ironing. My shirt is a bit crumpled.
I prefer having my shirt smooth. Maybe I’ll try to do the ironing
while watching TV next time.
B I look a mess today! That’s terrible. The students probably
think I am a real looser.
I hope they don’t think that I don’t care about looking alright
for class.
I have to do my ironing next weekend.
a) Now read again and highlight any labels and judgments.
b) Which one do you think will make the person feel guilty?
c) Which one would be more effective for getting the ironing done?

17. 1. John was angry with me yesterday for no reason.
2. Yesterday evening Nancy bit her fingernails while watching TV.
3. Sandy didn’t ask for my opinion during the meeting.
4. My father is a good man.
5. Mana works too much.
6. Tomi is aggressive.
o
7. Yoshi was the first to arrive in the classroom.
8. My son often doesn’t brush his teeth.
9. Miki told me I don’t look good in yellow.
10.My aunt complains when I talk with her.

18. 1. John was angry with me yesterday for no reason. [what did yo
2. Yesterday evening Nancy bit her fingernails while watching TV.
3. Sandy didn’t ask for my opinion during the meeting.
4. My father is a good man.
5. Mana works too much.
6. Tomi is aggressive.
o
7. Yoshi was the first to arrive in the classroom.
8. My son often doesn’t brush his teeth.
9. Miki told me I don’t look good in yellow.
10.My aunt complains when I talk with her.

19. River of needs activity
• Prepare cards with about 30 words for needs
on them (eg food, friendship, excitement)
• Students mill around and pick up three of the
cards with needs. They can choose needs
which they have had satisfied recently, or
needs which they are experiencing now.
• Students explain their needs in groups of 3.

20. What happens when communication is
going well?
• Groups of 4: brainstorm characteristics of
good communication on post-it notes
(one scribe so students have to communicate!)
Whole class stick notes on a poster of a “tree”
Whole class look at tree and read phrases that
interest them; repeat for “what happens
when communication isn’t going well?*

21. Look at the picture and see if you think
communication is going well!

23. Role Plays as giraffes/jackals
What would you do if you had a noisy
neighbour?

24. You should have told me!
Kenji, a Japanese student studying in the US,
shares a room in a dormitory with Mark.
Mark, who has a part time job at night, usually
comes back very late, around 2 o’clock in the
morning.
Every night Kenji is bothered by the light Mark
turns on when he enters the room, and is having
trouble sleeping.
However, Kenji was afraid to tell Mark about it,
because he thought it would ruin their friendship.
So Kenji just said to him “You were late last night,”
hoping Mark would realize the situation.

25. • Kenji was quiet for a month but finally came to
the point where he couldn’t take it any more.
He said “I am leaving this dorm. I’m really angry
because you are such an insensitive person.
Didn’t you know that I was having difficulty
sleeping because of you?” Mark had no idea
what he was talking about and said “You should
have told me! Since you didn’t say anything, I
though everything was fine!”
Situation from Heart to Heart (EFL textbook) by Kensaku Yoshida

26. What do you think Mark said to Kenji after
that?
A) Worst case scenario?
B) Best case scenario?

27. • You should have told me. Since you didn’t say
anything, I thought everything was fine!
• No, it is not fine. I have had a terrible time
because of you.
• It’s your fault for not telling me. Why didn’t you
tell me?
• I couldn’t tell you because you were not here.
When you are here you are always listening to
music. You didn’t ask me how I was feeling!
• If you can’t communicate normally then you had
better leave this dorm.
• Yes, right, I am going to leave now.

28. What if Mark had used NVC and tried
to use empathy?
You must be feeling….
It must have been …….. For you
Are you feeling…..
Do you really want to leave…?
Would it help if I didn’t turn on the light when
I come back?
• Would you like to try and see if we can work
this out?
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29. More about value-free observation
• Give a reason
• Be specific
• Show that you have a point of view (other
points of view are possible)

30. In class
• Watching a movie and role-playing scenes
from the movie with a different outcome
• Role-playing carousel: 3’s have a situation to
role play with good or bad outcome, form a 6
and show roleplay
• Studying an international conflict and
preparing a presentation about how a conflict
was or wasn’t solved (with or without movie
backup)

31. • Reading sections of Nonviolent
Communication by Marshall Rosenberg for
discussion
• Activities from Nonviolent Communication
Handbook
• Connection with human rights issues
especially prison, death penalty, land rights,
bullying
• Journaling about communication in L1 within
the family
• Studying and presenting about other methods
of conflict resolution eg win-win

32. Thanks for coming
folks!