In the film “Her” the protagonist falls in love with his computer, an artificial intelligence operating system. While most of us already love Asterisk, things really get interesting when we give Asterisk a voice, and the ability to listen to our instructions. Fortunately for us, Asterisk has impressive capabilities for adding speech recognition and text-to-speech to our calls. This talk will cover many facets of speech applications with Asterisk. We will look at the various commercial and open source speech engines available, as well as how to integrate them into Asterisk. We will look at ways prompts and grammars can be designed to give the caller the best possible experience. We will hear samples of the right and hilariously wrong ways speech can be used. We will cover the various types of speech recognition that exist today (grammar-driven, transcription, hotword and voice biometrics) and how each should be applied. Finally, we’ll show how these pieces come together to make it possible to build something that (for a brief moment) passes as intelligent. Maybe.