The document summarizes the experience of taking long-distance bus rides from New York City to Virginia. It notes that while bus travel is cheaper than flying, it involves 5-6 hours of frustration by being seated next to annoying bus passengers, such as hair twirlers, chatty cell phone users, people who repeatedly poke your shoulder, passengers who listen loudly to the same music on repeat, messy eaters, and inquisitive travelers who constantly ask questions. By the time the bus ride is over, the traveler is exhausted from sensory overload and forgets why they take the bus in the first place, only to repeat the cycle of bus travel again.

1. you know you’ve made it when you graduate from bus rides to flights.

2. unfortunatel i’m not quite there yet.
y,

3. i’m the exact opposite of a jet setter.

4. i’m a bus bum.
just like this sleeping beauty.

5. i spent hours on a bus this month.

6. i live in nyc,
but i’m a virginia girl at heart.

7. and every few weeks,
(after listening to a little too much john denver)
i get the itch to go back to the place
where i belong.
[not west] virginia, mountain momma

8. but traveling ain’t cheap
for those of us living on pipe dreams and string beans

9. that’s where the beauty of the bus comes in.

10. One plane ticket to Virginia = four bus tickets to virginia
sounds like a good deal right?

11. what they don’t tell you:
one bus ticket = five-six hours of pure regret

12. imagine YOUR DREAM BUS BUDDY
now picture their opposite
AND YOU’VE NOW MET EVERY PERSON I’VE EVER SAT NEXT TO ON THE BUS.

13. the hair twirler
twel twirls per minute
ve

14. the ‘omg’ girl
one ‘omg’ to every five ‘likes’
my soul died before her blackberry battery.

15. the peanut bladder in the window seat
three pokes on the shoulder per hour
poke. poke. poke.
poke. poke. poke.
poke. poke. poke.
poke. poke. poke.
five hours poke. poke. poke.

16. the cheap ear bud guy
two old EMINEM ALBUMS
ON REPEAT.

17. the SOUP MAN
TWO SPILLS AND LOTS OF SLURP, SLURP, SLURPING
CHICKEN NOODLE >TOMATO

18. THE QUESTION LADY
??????????????????????????????
ONE QUICK QUESTION. FOLLOWED BY ONE MORE QUESTION.
OH AND ONE MORE. AND LAST ONE.
OH, I FORGOT TO ASK ONE LAST LAST THING.

19. BY THE TIME YOU GET OFF THE BUS,
YOU ARE SO PHYSICALL EXHAUSTED
Y

20. FROM THE OVERSTIMULATION OF
BEING SURROUNDED BY CRAZIES

21. THAT YOU FORGET EVERYTHING

22. AND THUS CONTINUE TO REPEAT THE CYCLE

23. OF A BUS BUM.