The Near Misses are a band of hirsute Afro-pop mesomorphs and proudly The Worst Band In Joburg (TM). https://soundcloud.com/timothy-rogan-rich

1. DARK,
BROODING
AFRO-POP
QUINTET…
THE NEAR MISSES

2. ★ The Near Misses formed
in 2014 on the mean-ish
streets of Johannesburg,
South Africa.
★ Nick Wilson, former frontman of The He-She’s,
had a vision for a pop band with contemporary
and classic rock tendencies.
★ He bumped into Hagen Engler, a former
bandmate from Green Robots, at Joburg hipster
HQ the Jolly Roger. Balls were set in motion…

3. ★ (From left) Rogan Rich – bass, beer; Tom Falkiner, drums,
sweatbands; Nick Wilson, guitar, voice, hygiene; Hagen
Engler, guitar, voice, East-Capism; Alistair Anderson –
Vocals, abs, showmanship.
THE NEAR MISSES:

4. INFLUENCES
★ The Near Misses are a team of hirsute, Afro-
pop mesomorphs. Their influences include:
Velvet Underground, Fugazi, The Beach Boys,
Soul Brothers, Papa Wemba, Orchestra Super
Mazembe, The Cars, GG Allin,
The Crystals, Screaming Trees,
The Wailers, The Genuines
and James Phillips.

5. WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT
THE NEAR MISSES
★ “It’s basically surf rock!” – Shayne from Jozi Studios
★ “You ous would rock Koppi” – Fothers, TNM Fan
★ “Great fun. Very entertaining” – Kurt, TNM Fan
★ “Thanks Misses, you pull a nice crowd.” – Brigitte,
TNM Fan
★ “How old is that Alistair?” – Nicolette, TNM Fan
★ “Near Misses pulled our biggest Thursday-night
crowd ever”– Dirck from Amuse Cafe

6. ★ As The Crow Flies (Final Fresh) –
The Near Misses
https://soundcloud.com/timothy-rogan-rich
THE MUSIC

7. THE MUSIC
★ I’m Not Gay, My Boyfriend Is (Polo Edit)
– The Near Misses
https://soundcloud.com/timothy-rogan-rich

8. BAND ACHIEVEMENTS
★ Took a blow-up sheep up Kilimanjaro
★ Lost to Rodriguez at pool.
★ Got chained up and whipped by this one lady
★ Grade 8 wanking champion (23 wanks in one day)
★ Once ate a praying mantis

9. SEE LIVE!
★ The Near Misses are an unmissable live act,
propelled by frontman Alistair Anderson’s
edgy rock theatrics and the louche dynamism
of the band their actual selves…

10. ALISTAIR ANDERSON,
VOCALS
★ Tortured genius
★ Physique of a Russian ballet dancer
★ Manson-esque intensity
★ Compelling stage presence
THE NEAR MISSES

11. ★ Brooding sensitivity
★ Rugged good looks of Dennis
Wilson from The Beach Boys
★ Musical reactionary
★ Audi driver
★ Former bands: The He-She’s,
Green Robots
THE NEAR MISSES
NICK WILSON,
GUITAR &
VOICE

12. ★ Metronomal, automotive reliability
★ Race-car driver
★ More about length than girth
★ Former band: Undersound
TOM FALKINER,
DRUMS
THE NEAR MISSES
★ Dark horse

13. ROGAN RICH,
BASS
THE NEAR MISSES
★ Naturally gifted: Length AND girth
★ Possible zombie
★ Architect
★ Stamina of a Derby winner

14. HAGEN ENGLER,
GUITAR, VOICE
THE NEAR MISSES
★ Dreamboat
★ Fingering fetishist
★ Lyrical handyman. Punctual.
★ Former bands: Jedi Rollers,
Green Robots, Boewebusters

15. LEKKER JUICY, PRETTY DOPE,
FKN KIEF, GANGSTA MAN,
AWEH SWEET, YEAH!*
★ The Near Misses Vaudeville Pop Quintet provides
pure entertainment and a unique fusion of Afro-pop,
hard and classic rock. They do all of this with a sense
of humour and tongues deeply wedged in their
cheeks. Give them a gig!
*BOEWEBUSTERS – THE NEAR MISSES

16. CONTACT THE NEAR MISSES!
★ email hagen@hagenshouse.com
★ Cell: Hagen 0828255272
★ Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/timothy-rogan-rich
★ Facebook: “The Near Misses Pop Band”
★ Twitter @TheNearMisses