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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi

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True to his style Mawlana Thanawi omits nothing of relevance from this book, “The Islamic Marriage”. He has pointed out very lucidly the utter needlessness of evil cutoms associated with marriage. They are alien to Islam. He has spoken at length on the issued of dowry, dower, bari, nawtah, walimah, suitable match, ripe time of marriage, having more than one wife, etiquettes to be observed by wife and husband, the qualities of an ideal wife and an ideal husband. Here, ano there, he has cited Ahadith of the Prophet and examples from contemporary life. Interspersed in the text are also rulings on the the question anyone can come across in marriage and undertaking marriage. The key word throughout the book is simplicity in contracting marriage and Sayyidah Fatimah’s & example is cited to support it. This book is worth reading and abiding by. Let no home be without it.

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THE ISLAMIC MARRIAGE Sayings of Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi Compiled by Mawlana Muhammad Zayd Mazahri Nadwi «><!>■»—j English Rendering Rafique Abdur Rahman DARUL ISHAAT Urdu Bazar. Karachi-Pakistan
Copyright Regd. No. AH Rights ofTranslation are Reserved n ith DARL L - IS!IAAT KARACHI Copyright delegated to Mohammad Asif 3 lO-.esv Meena Bazar Jama Masjid Dehli India FIRST EDITION 2009 PRINTED A T ILMI GRAPHICS PUBLISHER DARUL - 1SHAAT URDU BAZAR KARACHI-1 PAKISTAN E-mail ishaatlTLpk netso/ircom, ishaalfaycy ber net pk AVAILABLE AT MAKTABA MA ARIFUL QURAN. DARUL ULOOM. KORANGI. KARACHI PUBLISHER'S SUBMISSION The worsening of Muslim society in matters relating to marriage is touching dangerous limits. This book can play a very effective role in correcting the wrongs rampant in our society provided it is introduced to every home and its teaching are observed. Of the several books written on this subject, this book can be described as a new and important book because of its method of treatments and subject analysis. May Allah make it beneficial universally and may He make it a means of reforming the Islamic society. Ao/neen! Alii jc AVAILABLE IN U.K. AZHAR A CADEMY L TD 54-68 LITTLE ILFORD LANE. MANOR PARK. LONDON El2 5QA AVAILABLE IN U.S.A DARUL-ULOOM AL-MADANIA 182 SOBIESKI STREET. BUFFALO. NY 14212. U.S A MADRASAH ISLAMIAH BOOK STORE 6665 BINTLIFF. HOUSTON. TX-77074. USA AVAILABLE INSOUTHAFRICA AL-HUDA PUBLICATIONS 35 C ENTRAL AVE MAYFAIR 2092 JOHANFNSBL'RG. S. AFRICA
The Islamic Marriage The Islamic Marriage CONTENTS KHUTBA-E-NIKAH Foreword *5 Publisher's submission CHAPTER ONE 29 SECTION ONE 29 Some ahadith concerning importance of marriage 29 Benefits of marriage from point of view of religion and hereafter 29 Comments 30 Warning on not marrying 30 Marriage is a form ofworship 31 SECTION TWO 31 Marriage is a dealing but not a worldly affair 31 Objectives and benefits of marriage 31 Intention behind marriage 32 Wisdom behind marriage 33 Islamic command 33 Objectives 34 Not merely eating 34 Other advantages 35 Disadvantages of an unmarried life 35 Marriage when ninety years old 36 Another case 36 Mawalana Fadlur Rahman married when one hundred years old Haji sahib's second marriage in old age Warning to the unmarried Why the warning Excuses for not marrying Ahadith on the excuses SECTION THREE The juristic command Wajib (obligatory) Fard (absolute obligatory) 36 37 37 37 38 38 39 39 39 39
9The Islamic Marriage Musnun (recommended) 39 Forbidden 39 Different conditions 39 What should a poor man do 40 Is a father responsible and does he commit sin by delaying his childen's marriage? 40 CHAPTER TWO 43 Concerning a wife 43 SECTION ONE Virtues of a wife The best friend Importance of women and valuing their support Wife is a great benefector Wife's sacrifice Favours of women Mismanagement without wife SECTION TWO Merit of a village woman Excellence of ill-mannered bad skilled women Old wife worth esteem A story SECTION THREE Merits of Indian women Love husbands Chastity Patience Self satisfaction Thought for husband Faithfulness CHAPTER THREE Concering widows Marriage of widow Custom ofjahiliyah Widow marriage fard Widow's marriage more necessary than a virgin's A widow needs more attention 43 43 43 43 43 44 44 45 45 45 46 47 47 48 48 48 48 49 50 50 51 53 53 53 53 53 53 54 The Islamic Marriage____________________________________ The evils of a widow not marrying 54 Marry off a window even if she is unwilling 54 No harm if an old widow with children does not marry' 55 Pressure of in-laws 55 Unlimited oppression 55 Ignorant opposition to Shariah 56 Forced marriage 56 The duties of in-laws of a widow - Islamic teachings 56 CHAPTER FOUR ON EQUALITY 59 SECTION ONE 59 Importance and wrongs ofmarrying outside 59 Standard is measured from husband's point of view 59 Marriage of unequal 60 The first kind 60 The second kind 60 The third kind 60 The fourth kind 60 SECTION TWO 61 On lineage 61 Definition 6] Wisdom in equality oflineage g| Nobility of descent isreal q Arrogance not lawful 54 Descent is from father 64 Evidence from Shariah g5 Reliability of Sayyid 55 SECTION THREE Comment on India's tables of genealogy Family trees of India Thrusted tables of genealogy How will equality work in India Equality on basis of community and tribe Genealogy and tribal links also from basis of equality today Are die Ansars and the Quraysh equals Summary 66 66 67 67 67 67 68 68 68
11 To look for modem education 10 The Islamic Marri; Non Arab scholar not equal to arab woman 68 A common mistake 68 SECTION FOUR 69 Equality from religious point of veiw 69 The first kind 69 The second kind 69 The third kind 70 Confirm that the groom is a Muslim 70 Verify that he does not move about with the misled 70 Marriage with a Christian or Jew woman 70 Wealth or pedigree perfered over religion 71 Why base on religion 72 Not prepare to match a religious man with an irreligious woman 72 SECTION FIVE 73 Equality in age 73 Tolerable difference 74 The girl must refuse when there is a mismatch 75 Evils of marrying young boy to an elder woman 75 SECTION SIX 76 Equality in terms of wealth 76 Should a rich girl be chosen 6 CHAPTER FIVE > 77 Choosing a partner 77 SECTION ONE Characteristics of groom Definition of a religious minded 7g A saintly person consulted a Jew 7g Selecting a groom 79 Do not choose foreigners 79 Very close relatives not preferred 79 Choose partner for girl very carefully gQ 80 80 The Islamic Marriage Better if she has religious education Consequences of seeking beauty Undeniable fact If two happen to fall in love.... A very beautiful wife is also dangerous The case of an innocent beautiful woman Marrying for money Seeking a large dowry' Dowry without demand CHAPTER SIX SECTION ONE Supplication Istikharah before marriage Effort and trust plus prayer Some etiquettes of prayer Prayer to get a good match Refuge from evil partner Prayer of Istikharah Istikharah for marriage Istikharah before resolve When is it suitable Reality of istikharah When can it be beneficial 82 82 82 82 82 83 83 83 85 85 85 85 86 86 87 88 89 89 89 90 90 The objective The time The method 91 91 92 A condition 92 Cast spell or make amulet to marry someone 92 specifically 92 Amulet and spell concerning marriage 92 Marriage may take place easily 92 That daughters may get suitable proposals 93 Importance guidelines concerning marriage 93 CHAPTER SEVEN 95 Other guidelines 95 SECTION TWO The best women What to look for in a bride
13 12 The Islamic sivtiox oxi 95 The Islamic Marriage Wise to see the bride before marriage 95 Caution 95 Their relationship before marriage 95 It is unlawful to imagine pleasure with a fiancee 95 Consent of both necessary 95 Consequence of neglecting opinion of the concerned 95 How to get their opinion 95 It is wrong to leave everything in their hands 97 Proposal and marriage without consulting elders 97 Nlodety is a must 97 Marriage through advertisement SECTIOX TWO 97 98 Authority of young people 98 Marrying them off without permission 98 How to get her permission 99 Who is the guardian 100 Defects of a girl's marrying herself 100 SECTION THREE Marriage should be conducted with honesty Marrying off a girl with shortcomings Marrying off to an important husband Announce the marriage Disadvantages of a secret marriage When it is necessary Who should propose CHAPTER EIGHT Ideal age Disadvantages of delaying marriage of daughters Delay because of jewellery and dowry Delay because of arranging banquet Foolish excuse about suitable match Are there fewer qualified young men Marriage in childhood is harmful Evils of child marriage Do not marry during student years 101 101 101 102 102 102 103 103 105 105 105 105 105 106 106 10? 107 107 Not when minor When do they become adults Minor may marry when necessary Early marriages better Responsibility of parents Do not marry off two children at ope time CHAPTER NINE Engagement and date of wedding SECTION ONE Reality of engagement Gathering the community These customs do not seal the engagement Sayyidah Fatimah's example Serving guests Brokerage or commission on arranging match SECTION TWO Agreeing upon date of marriage Zul Qadah is not inauspicious Marriage in Zul Qadah, Muhurrum and Safar Only sin and disobedience have an ill-augury Marriage during eclipse CHAPTER TEN The wedding Marriage ceremony and the assembly An event Who should perform the marriage Fees of solemnising the merriage When fees become unlawul Important rulings that a qadi must know Taking groom to a shrine, Garlanding the groom Reciting the kalimah Consent thrice or aameen Distributing dry dates Not dates alone Ruling of Mawlana Hangoli 108 108 108 108 109 109 111 111 111 111 111 111 112 112 112 113 113 114 114 115 115 117 117 117 117 117 117 117 119 121 121 121 122 122 122 122
14 CHAPTER ELEVEN Connecting the dower SECTION ONE Wisdom behind the dower Need for witnesses General trend of dower Such a one is an adulterer He is treacherous as a thief Dower should be a small amount Evidence from Shariah Blessed and easy dower Disadvantages of high dower The hadith My experience Dower that exceeds one's capacity High dower to check husband Nothing disgraceful The limits 121 121 121 12) 121 124 124 121 125 11' 11' 121 12( 121 121 121 Fatimi dower 121 A caution 121 SECTION TWO 121 An important rulingl dower in kind instead of cash 1H Dower depends on intention 1* Another important ruling It is shameful to ask one's wife to forgo her dower *• Willingness of heart is a condition, not mere write-off !• Minor wife's dower cannot be written-off Dower is a right and may be demanded Arab and Indian customs 1 Payment of dower does not discharge other duties of husband Write-off when husband is dying What should she do after his death When she is on her death bed Heirs of wife have right in her dower that must be paid to them The Islamic Marriage Rending dower does not suspend payment of zakah 132 CHAPTER TWELVE 135 About the dowry 135 Whatever a groom receives without demand and desire (and is given) with sincerity is Allah’s blessing 135 Reality and the command 135 Remember those things 136 Dowry of Sayyidah Fatimah 136 Evils of customary dowry 136 The list of dowry 136 Only ego is the driving force 137 Thief al heart 137 Kinds of ostentation 137 Land, property, field or capital for business as dowry 137 Too many clothes and garments for relatives 138 The correct dowry’ Husband cannot use what belongs to his wife without her consent Willing consent CHAPTER THIRTEEN Customary exchange of gifts Does not create love Reality of these customs The view of Shariah Nothing but a debt To give up customary exchanges of gifts will snap ties of relationship What is reasonable Paying expenses At the time of sending off the bride The command of Shariah on things given as part of custom, out of shae or pressure CHAPTER FOURTEEN The wedding procession It is a Hindu custom No need of baraat 138 139 139 141 141 141 141 142 143 145 145 145 145 146 147 147 147 147
17 16 Some disadvantage 1 regard the custom of procession as unlawful How then may social contacts be retained Evidence from Shariah Applicable to the affluent also National sympathy Wedding procession is a combination of sins At the bride’s home Better not to attend Evidence from Shariah The ulama and religious leaders must not attend CHAPTER FIFTEEN Some of the unlawful things during the wedding Dancing and singing Fire works Photography and filming Filming the ceremony Tambourine Singing songs Request to play music and sing songs Bands, drums and music If anyone does not heed CHAPTER SIXTEEN Marriage customs SECTION ONE What is a custom Custom and otherwise Two kinds of customs Customs, now and before Customs are sinful Evidence in Shariah of today's customs being evil Strong evidence Argments of those who favour customs Shariah stand The Islamic Marriage________________________ Burden of debt Wasteful expenditure Mawlana Muhammad Qasim's advice Waste is worse than miserliness Marriage that lacks blessings Beneficial ways to.spend on a marriage SECTION THREE Pomp and show Pomp earns bad name Not well wishers A great loss They forget salah SECTION FOUR Borrowing for the wedding Extending loan for a marriage CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Women sticking to custom SECTION ONE Women are root of all customs Ills of women's gatherings Some ills resulting from women's assemblies Adornment Serious mistake of women The Prophet's saying How to keep women away from going out Is there possibility of women going to functions Lethargy of old women SECTION TWO Men are to blame Accepted women as leaders Two people disallow observance of custom Complaint against men SECTION THREE How to eliminate customs Shariah's prescription 165 165 166 166 166 167 167 167 167 168 168 168 169 169 169 171 171 171 171 172 172 173 174 174 174 175 176 SECTION TWO Evils of custom The Islamic Marriagf 148 148 148 148 149 150 150 150 150 151 151 153 153 153 154 154 155 156 156 156 157 157 159 159 159 159 159 159 159 16® 16’ 162 163 164 163 164 177 177 177 178 178 179 • 179 179
1918 The Islamic Marri; Disallow all customs at once 180 He who oppose customs is a saint lgg Those who abide by customs deserve curse isq All Muslims are responsible 181 A request to women 18] CHAPTER EIGHTEEN 183 Different customs 183 SECTION ONE Closeting the would-be bride and rubbing oil on her body Rubbing the body Mixing with bridegrooms family Hiding the shoes Bride reading through the Quran Travel fare to members of the wedding procession Bride cannot alight until other women are paid Carrying the bride SECTION TW O i Washing bride's feet New bride showing too much shyness Prison for a new bride Looking at the face Next day Sweetmeat and other things on every arrival Everyone does not forbid these customs CHAPTER NINETEEN A model marriage The need to follow the Prophet's example Marriage and sending off of Sayyidah Fatimah Departure at right time Easiest deed Simplicity The simplest way An excellent example Throwing money The Islamic Marriage__________ If had daughters CHAPTER TWENTY SECTION ONE After departure Brides modest)' beyond limits Keeping aloof after marriage SECTION TWO The first night Needless shyness The ideals method Joking and being playful Man should disclose his love 193 195 195 195 195 196 196 196 196 196 197 197 183 183 184 184 184 184 185 185 185 186 186 186 186 186 187 187 187 189 189 189 189 190 190 19> 19> 19> 19? 19^ Customs in Arabia and in India 197 Writing al-Ikhlas on wife's forehead 198 Supplications 198 Fajr salah on first night 198 Homeless women on the first night 199 An exemplary event 199 CHAPTER TWENTY ONE 201 The Walimah 201 The masnun walimah 201 The limits 201 The prophet's & example 201 Sayyidina Ali's Walimah 202 Use lawful earnings 202 Inviting others to avert bad name 202 An easy way 202 Unlawul walimah 203 The worst walimah 203 Not allowed participation 203 Not allowed to take extra guestsalong 204 The feast of an interest-taker oran innovator 205 If most is unlawful 206 When in doubt 206 Some guidelines - 2q^ Accept poor man's invitation Guardian in a wedding
20 Placing a legal condition Arrange of the poor CHAPTER TWENTY TWO Having many wives SECTION ONE The motivating factor Another wisdom Wisdom for both in second marriage The need In the light of history Why only four wives Shari'ah has allowed more than one wife SECTION TWO Prohibition to have more than one wife When women would be unfair Only in the love of luxury Second wife not advised if not necessary SECTION THREE Difficulties in having many wives My experience Consequences of second marriage without valid reason Advice Who should take a second wife SECTION FOUR Let one be enough If the first has no child 209 209 209 209 209 210 210 210 211 211 212 212’ 212 212 213 213 213 213 SECTION FIVE Necessary rulings As companions in journey A separate home SECTION SIX Method of living with two wives Pattern for the husband Pattern for the first wife 214 215 215 215 215 215 216 2j6 211 211 218 21’ The Islamic Marriage Pattern for the new wife 21 220 CHAPTER TWENTY THREE Injunctions about private relationship SECTION ONE There is reward on approaching one's wife What should be his intention Approaching the wife How much of one another may they see Forbidden to think of another woman Prayers and zikr Prescribed prayers No limit is saintly Neither harm nor against taqw'a The Prophet’s & sahabah's life Consideration of health is essential Observatant Harmful effects Imam Ghazali's saying Limits to sexual intercourse with wife Interval in days Harmful effects of medicine Practice moderation Diseases Guidelines When it is necessary to have cohabitation Guidelines for women SECTION TWO when she menstruates Limits during her menses Different ruling Expiation Kaffarah Ruling Intercourse during istihadah Approaching during post child birth bleeding First child and nifas lasts for thirty days 221 221 221 221 221 221 222 223 223 223 224 224 225 226 226 226 227 227 227 227 228 228 228 229 229 230 230 230 231 232 232 232 232 232 233
22 The Islamii Oeverpowering desire while wife has menses SECTION THREE Care when wife is pregnant Only from medical point of view Having intercourse with woman who suckles Preventing pregnancy Abortion SECTION FOUR Homo sexuality and the unnatural act Unnatural sex with one's own wife CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR Purification SECTION-ONE Why no sexual intercourse with menstruating woman and why bath after impurity Wisdom in bath after discharge of semen Secret of bath after sexual intercourse Other benefits SECTION-TWO Bathing place and condition The masnun method of bath Zikr or prayer Conversing during bath Washing of visible portion is enough Need not untie hair Some etiquettes SECTION-THREE When bath becomes wajib Some important rulings When bath is not fard Ruling on ihtilam Very thin mazi or mani SECTION-FOUR Injunctions for those on whom bath is fard Summary of injunctions The Islamic Marriage__________________________________________________- Disliked to clip nails and cut hair before bath 247 If there is likelihood of getting sick from water 248 While trvelling 249 SECTION-FIVE 249 Shari‘ah's command on leukorrhea 249 Summary 250 Who is the handicapped and excude 250 Glossary 253
FOREWORD A.11 people of the world irrespective of their religion and sex do face the question of marriage in their lives. It is this issue that causes worn to everyone today whether he is poor or rich man or woman. This is the most worrying aspect of human life. While the poor are crushed under the burden, the rich too are not much better off. However. Islam has described marriage as the simplest of deeds. The Prophet and the Sahabah showed us how simple it is with their practical example. But. today, it is the most difficult affair. While marriage is a happy occasion. today it has become a sad problem. How many young girls base committed suicide! And how many parents lose their temper when a girl is borne to them! How many men have divorced their wives for that reason! Birth of a girl in these times is a trial and a calamity! And when any of them is given the glad tidings of (birth of) a female, his face becomes darkened and he is wroth inwardly.” <16 58> Today, we are facing nearly the same situation that the disbelievers had faced before the rise of Islam. Today's marriage destroys families. Choosing a spouse, setting a standard for that, preparing dowry' for the daughter, pleasing different people, entertaining them, observing difficult customs and pouring money over that liberally - these are essential to every marriage today. The poor have no means to do that but even the affluent are not without worry, the only reason for this predicament is that we ignore and throw away the guidance of Islam and the teaching of Shari'ah in this regard and overlook the example of the Prophet and the Sahabah
26 27 -———and Sahabiyat No one ever looks at the pT" directive for marriage and how the Prophet « condu^ himself. Once the religion is perfected: and it is noi concerned with worship but also encompasses dealings a- social behaviour, how can a religious minded Muslim igno^ its directives? Religion is not simply to observe salah ai„ fasting, rather marriage, too. is a form of worship and, religious affair. The Prophet practice has to be emulatedt conducting weddings too. The Islamic Marriage___________________________ May Allah approve this selection and make it a means of reforming and guidance ofthe Ummah. Aameen! (Mufti) Muhamad Zajd Muiahari Madam Certainly you have in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern (of conduct) <33 21 thalT°c^"eryonc “ WOrned because Pa“Cr" and repla“d »Hh innovami ms an practices. As a result we had forsaken our relieitt and have even destroyed our worldly affairs. The Ulama have written many books on this subject. Tte collection, The Islamic Marriage, throws detailed intelligc' light on every aspect of marriage. You will find an in-# discussion on marriage, its benefits, Islamic injuncm1 choosing spouses, the grooms party, dowry cusus walimah, and almost every other connected matter. collection is actually a selection from Mawlana 1 , saying, sermons and writing. J have taken great pains w and compile them. 1 have hope in Allah that he will (|). selection the most comprehensive and bend 1 J ■' subject, and whosoever observes this mode of £, marriage will, Insha Allah, find peace in this J> L reward in die next. ^ey Even non-Muslims will gam peace in this IH‘- ol)e •• by this book. This book must be introduced 11 ’ )aIiguJ- every home. It must be translated into diit*-1 u Insha Allah that will give much benefit. J
CHAPTER ONE SECTION ONE SOME AHADITH CONCERNING IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE 1. Sayyidina Abu Najib reported that Allah’s Messenger & said, "When one of you possesses the means to marry but does not marry then he has nothing to do with me." (Targheeb) 2. Sayyidina Anas reported the saying of Allah's Messenger S?, "When a person marries, he or she perfects half of the religion. Now, he must fear Allah in (the remaining) half religion." (Targheeb) 3. Sayyidina Abdullah ibn Masud reported that Allah’s Messenger said, "O group of young men! Whoso among you can support a family must marry because marriage is very effective in lowering the gaze and it preserves them from immorality. For him who does not have the means, he must choose to keep fasts, for, the fast is for him like suppressing sexual desire." ----- iMishiai) ilrndad ul Falawa v2 p 258) BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE FROM POINT OF VIEW OF RELIGION AND HEREAFTER 4. Ibn Abu Najib reported that Allah’s Messenger said. He is needy! Needy! The man who has no wife." He was asked, "Even if he is very rich?" He said, "Yes, even if he has much wealth. And she is needy, needy! The woman who has no husband. He was asked, "Even if she is wealthy?" He said, "Yes, even if she is wealthy." (Razin) This is because neither of them has comfort and peace which is the objective of wealth. In marriage there is much benefit in religious and worldly life. (Hayat ul Muslimeen. p 187)
30 The Islamic Marriage A married person is safe from sin and his heart is at test Most of all. he also gains reward because if a husband and wife sit together and exchange conversation in an atmosphere of love, and they joke together then that is better than offering optional salah. Zewar 5. Sayyidah Ayshah '~c- narrated that the Prophet s said. "Marry women! They will bring you wealth." (Bazar, COMMENTS When both husband and wife are intelligent and well wishers of one another, the husband will realise that his responsibilities have multiplied and will work harder while his wife will make arrangements that he cannot do to relieve hut of worry and give him comfort. This is tantamount to bringing wealth. (Hayat ul Muslimeen) 6. Sayyidian M'aqil ibn Yasar -in reported that the Prophet ££ said, "Marry women who are prolific, for, 1 will take pride in your larger numbers over other people (Abu Dawood. Xasai Hayat ul Muslimea WARNING ON NOT MARRYING 7. Sayyidina Abu Zarr ^>j reported in a lengthy Hadi? that Allah's Messenger ££ asked Akkaf ._*• Areva married?" He said, "No!" The Prophet said. "Andya are a man of means, wealthy?" He confirmed that he was The Prophet said, "In that case, you are among th! devil's brethren. If you were of the Christian then ya could have been their monk." "Indeed, to marry is to follow our path. The worst of ya are those who do not marry. The worst of those who die, d« before they marry. Do you lean towards the devil? The de' has no better weapon than women to entrap the righteous. B^ those who have married are very pure and safe frof indecency. O Akkaf, woe to you! Get yourself marrit- otherwise you will stay behind. "(Ahmed - Imdad ul Fatawa, v2p-‘ The Islamic Marriage 31 MARRIAGE IS A FORM OF WORSHIP If Shari‘all enjoins anything, or encourages one to do it or promises reward thereon, then that is religion. If anything lacks these things then that is a worldly affair. On this basis, marriage is a religious affair because Shari'all has emphasised upon it under certain circumstances and encouraged it in others and observed reward for that, and has criticised abstinence from it. This is why the classifications of marriage created by the jurist do not have but all classes as binding and superior than voluntary worship though in some cases they may be undesirable because of some hindrance. (ibid) SECTION TWO MARRIAGE IS A DEALING BIT NOT A WORLDLY AFFAIR Fasting is undoubtedly a religious matter. In certain circumstances, it calls for punishment too of which the usulis (fundamentalists) have explained in the fast of expiation. Nevertheless, there is no touch of the world in it. Similarly, if marriage is a deal then too how can it be said to be worldly? Rather, punishment is more distant to worship than a deal is. So'When punishment coupled with worship could not make it worldly than how will dealings coupled with worship make it worldly? (Imdad ul Fauma v2p26B) OBJECTIVES AND BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE Allah has said in the Qur'an: fz .ZZ /Jzz . z.z Az— He created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them. And He has put love and mercy between you. (30;21) ^And He said:
32 The Islamic Mattia The Islamic Marriage 33 Your wives are a tillage for you. (2: 223) 1. A wife gives peace and comfort and shares her husbanc problems. Man is instinctively inclined to friendship ai love and a wife is ideal for that. Woman is a unique creation. She is responsible to delht children and look after the house. She is a great support. 5 shows mercy to her. She guards your property and childit and your honour in your absence. 2. Man is naturally inclined to sex. Nature has placedL satisfaction in his wife. Allah has said that she is a tillii for her husband where he may sow his seed. Just as e has to attend to his fields, so too a husband has to attend, her, and he may find satisfaction in her. 3. The desire man and woman have for one another is huE instinct which they attain through marriage. That grov true love and pure thoughts. But if it is satisfied thrag unlawful ways, it takes man to impurity and evil thougir Thus, marriage is a means of taking man to purity a away from impurity. (Al-MasaUh al Aqliyah p!92) INTENTION BEHIND MARRIAGE 4. We know from the Qur’an that marriage promotes chastr righteousness, health and lineage. The main aim marriage is what Allah has mentioned the Qur’an. "Mar that you may be righteous and pray that you have pi* children. In wedlock and not in licence (4 : 24) 5. And he said: Seek what Allah has prescribed for you (2: 187) 6. When he marries, a man binds himself and works hard to earn a livelihood for himself. He shirks from doing unnecessary work. The qualities of love, modesty, and faithfulness are found in him and he lives a very simple life shunning extravagance. He thus is protected from many diseases. 7. Marriage is good for health. It gives peace and comfort. It is pleasing and improves life in both worlds. 8. There is nothing better than marriage for a better culturous life. It is the root of patriotism. If this were not introduced among men, life would have been lonely and there would not have been homes and gardens nor signs of a people. (Al-Masalih al Aqliyah). WISDOM BEHIND MARRIAGE If a person is not afforded a proper means to satisfy sexual impulse then there would be corruption and shamelessness because he or she will seek satisfaction from every available means. This is why Shari'ah has proposed marriage, and it shows that Shari'ah is more well-wishing than intelligence which could never tolerate the meeting of two complete strangers in an intimate relationship. But if intelligence was obeyed then there would have been mischief all round, for, there would have followed innumerable intimate relationships. Men and women would have given up patience and thrown aside caution. This is why Shari’ali proposed marriage and this is the sign of the religion being heavenly, for it has its eyes on consequences. (Huquq uz Za^jayun) Thus intelligence regards modest) marriage as immodest. But the Propher # prescribed marriage to protect modesty. If it is given up once then all humanity will become shameless. (Huquq uz Zawjayn) ISLAMIC COMMAND According to the Hadith:
34 The Islamic Marriafc 35 U J "He who has the means must marry because it protects the eyesight and chastity." It is a strong possibility that chastity is available easily toa sound disposition through marriage. We do not talk of evj| dispositions who do not get chastity after a marriage or ever after four marriages and even after Mutah and adultery. Wt talk of human beings, not of animals and monkeys, (ibid) OBJECTIVES And of His sign is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves that you may find repose in them. And He has put love and mercy between you.(30:21) In short, women are created that your hearts may fiK peace through them. I say that youth is the time of love wte both have strong emotion and old age is the time c! compassion. In old age none besides a wife can be of help. (Nasratun Nisa. Huquq uz Zanytni NOT MERELY EATING The foolish say that marriage is merely to eat and drink t that was so then the rich would abstain from marriage, b» even daughters of kings do marry. Thus, there are othe- objectives of marriage. The biggest objective of marriage is to procreate. H* Prophet ££ said; (•--------J-5y-1' ; "Marry such woman as is prolific and more lovable because on the-Day of Resurrection, I w ill take pride in your large numbers." (ibid) OTHER ADVANTAGES Just as dress is an adornment for men and women, so too man and woman are adornments for one another. If a married man requests for a debt, he will get It because he is not alone and cannot run away, but a single man Is not trusted. People are not apprehensive of a married man having evil intentions on their wives and daughters. But they do not trust an unmarried man. Similarly, a married woman is more respected than an unmarried woman who is more prone to blame. (Rata al Iltibas p-45). DISADVANTAGES OF AN UNMARRIED LIFE Thus, when marriage is like a garment then to stay unmarried is to remain naked. Thus, one may say that unmarried life is defective if the concerned have the ability to marry. (Haquq az Zawjayn) When a person needs to marry yet does not then that would cause much mischief. Temptations would abound and worship would lack savour and interest. Some people give in to temptation and go to women. Others who protect their outward sanctity keep away from women but fall prey to young boys, which is a greater mischief because women are, after all, allowed in marriage while homosexuality is absolutely unlawful. Some people are safe from illegal sex but fall into the introductory doings like kissing, caressing, and so on. They bracket such doings with elderly compassion. We seek refuge in Allah from mischief, the apparent and the hidden. (Islah Inqilab, p-4l). Some people do not marry although they have a need to it and the ability to support. Some refrain totally and some after the death of their spou$£. When need and ability are present then it is obligatory to marry. (ibid)
36 The Islamic Marriage MARRIAGE WHEN NINETY YEARS OLD A qian in Shahjahanpur married at the age of ninety years. His sons, daughters and daughters-in-law demurred and asked him, "Why do you need to marry when we are here to sene you? He said, "You do not understand. None can comfort asa wife may." Suddenly, he fell ill. He had acute dysentery and a pungent, unbearable odour surrounded him. His home was filled with the stench. None of his sons and daughters came near to him. They detested him and deserted him to stay apan from him. Only his wife served him in this plight though she was a newly-wed and young. She made him sit while he relieved himself, washed and cleaned him and washed his garments too though this happened twenty to twenty-five times a day. She then made him lie down. The old man said. "Thisis why 1 had married." When he recovered, he sent for his children and said, "Did you see how you served me? If 1 had I not married, I would have rotted in the stench.' Indeed, daughters and daughters-in-law cannot nurse a sick father as a wife can. Allah has placed this comfort only in the husband-wife relationship. This is the worldly comfort fromi wife. (At-Tabligh, v-3 p-146) ANOTHER CASE A Man who married was weak and managed w ith tonics. A physician prescribed a heavy dose that had counter - indications in the shape of leprosy. Everyone stayed away from him. M his wife served him loyally. What a sacrifice and love! Bit does the husband value her for that? (Haquq uz Zawjayn, pp-161, 552, Al-lfadat Yowmiyahp# MAWALANA FADLUR RAHMAN MARRIED WHEN ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD When his first wife died, Mawlana Fadlur Rahman &v *-U married at the last stages of his life at the age 100 ye^ He was incapacitated with ulcer and only a wife could attend11 him. The kind woman took care of him with a smiling The Islamic Marriage__________________________________________________ 37 She cleaned his wound many times during the day and night. (ibidp-533, Al-Tabligh v-4p-147) HAJI SAHIB's SECOND MARRIAGE IN' OLD AGE The respected Haji Sahib * Uj-j took a second wife in his old age because his respected first wife became sightless. He married that his new wife might look after him. Indeed, she served him and her co-wife too. These cases show that a wife is not taken merely to satisfy the sexual urge but there are Other reasons too. (Nusrat un Nisa, p-553). WARNING TO THE UNMARRIED According to a Hadith. w—li (If anyone who has the urge and the ability to support does not marry then he is not on our path). For, he walks on the path of the Christians who regard marriage as a hindrance to the approach to Allah, and abstain from it. They consider celibacy as an act of worship. (Malfuzal Ashraliyah, p-386) Those who regard a life of celibacy as worship actually have a monk's belief and create an innovation in religion. Slum'ah's command to marry is the real thing and to neglect it is not worship. (Islah Inqiiab v-2 p-40) WHY THE WARNING When it becomes necessary to wed, neglect may cause much mischief because there may be a severe urge or an absolute urge which cannot be suppressed even after taking medicine for it. There was a seventy year old man who loved a young boy. He was a spent force but he had an urge to look at the boy with sexual inclinations which is surely forbidden. A mujahidah (a strenuous exercise for that) cannot eliminate the urge. In fact, it cannot be removed by old age, medicine or reduction in diet. Only mujahidah can bring it down to a low level so that it becomes easier to control. If the urge is totally eliminated, how can there be a reward for that? One gets reward for fighting the urge and engaging in pious work steadfastly. iHuquq u: Zawjayn, p-158)
38____________________________________________________ The Islamic Marriage EXCUSES FOR NOT MARRYING If anyone has an excuse (because of which he cannot marry) then he does not come under the purview of the above mentioned Hadith. The excuse may be physical or monetary. Or, it may be a valid religious excuse. The former kind is obvious while the latter is reflected in weakness after marriage so that he cannot attend to religious duties properly. (Or, he may not be able to give rights of his wife because of his occupation in religious duties). (Al-Malfuzat Ashrqfiyah. p-386) If a man would be unable to give rights of his wife whether it is physical or monitory then it is forbidden for him to mam (Islah Inqilab. p-il AHADITH ON THE EXCUSES Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah? Messenger said, "A time will come for the people when 2 man's destruction will be at the hands of his wife, parents and children. They will rebuke him on his poverty and helplessness, and will demand such things as he cannot provide. So, he will do such things as will harm his religion and he will be destroyed." According to Abu Saeed, a man brought his daughter to th: Prophet and said that she refused to marry anyone. He said to her, "Obey your father (concerning marriage)." She said "By Him who has sent you with the true religion, 1 will nt marry till you tell me the rights of a husband over his wife The Prophet & mentioned them and she submitted, " B; Allah, I will never marry!" He said, "(When women haw authority of Shari'ah), do not marry them without their permission." The first Hadith mentions the excuse for men and th; second mentions women's excuse<or not marrying. She migh not be able to give him his rights, so the Prophet £> excused her. Similarly, if a widow fears that her children might be p^1 in jeopardy if she marries another man then according to* Hadith she too is excused. (Hayat ul Muslimeen, p-132) The Islamic Marriage' SECTION THREE THE JURISTIC COMMAND IVAJ/B (OBLIGATORY) When there is an impulsive urge and sufficient means are available even so that he can support on a day-to-day basis then it is wajib (obligatory) for him to marry. Neglect will be sinful. FARD (ABSOLUTE OBLIGATORY) And if he has the means and an unrepulsive urge that might plunge him into unlawful sex then it is fard (an absolute obligation) to marry. u£Ju fijjJi wWJi j (Unlawful sex includes the forbidden glance and masturbation). Ml'SNUN (RECOMMENDED) If it is not necessary and the means are available then it is sunnah to marry. FORBIDDEN However, if he is not likely to give the rights of a wife then though he may have the urge and the means, it is certainly disallowed for him to marry. DIFFERENT CONDITIONS If he has the urge but not the means then there are different opinions about that, but I prefer the ruling that it is wajib. He can work hard to earn a livelihood or borrow money with a firm resolve to repay and try his best to do it. If he fails to repay in spile of his effort then Allah might induce the creditor to forgive him because he had married to protect his religion. However, it is not allowed to borrow for unnecessary reasons. He is allowed to borrow only to provide sustenance and to pay the dower if it is a prompt dower. (Islah Inqilab v2pp-39-40)
40 The Islamic Mamas WHAT SHOULD A POOR MAN DO A man came to me. He had a tremendous sexual urge to marry but he was poor and had no means to marry. He sought a remedy. Before I could say anything, a man (an Ahl Hadito said, "Keep fasts, here is a Hadith that prescribes it." The mat protested. "1 have observed fasts too but that did not help' The other man had no answer. I asked him, "How many fasts did you keep?" 1 made sure that the other should hear us. He said, I kept two fasts." I said. "This is why you did not succeed because you should fast fa many days and this is what the Hadith says, suggesting compulsion through (ala). Compulsion is of rec kinds, in belief and in practice. Here, it cannot be the fomr kind, for fasting itself is not fard but a remedx. It in compulsory practice which has to be often repeated. Thus, if anyone does something again and again, and abundantly them is understood that he has bound himself to it. Thus, the Propte meant that he should keep many fasts." It is known fro: experience that a few fasts are not enough to curb the animl instinct. This is why worshippers do not feel weak in the ear) days of Ramadhan but become feeble tow ards the end of tie month. Thus, the animal instinct does not subside in early Ramadhan but becomes stronger, on the contrary; gradually at the days wear off, it becomes weaker. By that time there ha« been plenty of fasts. (Al-lfadat al-Yawneiyah, i-9 p-165. v-JOp-Z- IS A FATHER RESPONSIBLE AND DOES NE COMMIT SIN B' DELAYING HIS CHILDEN'S MARRIAGE? Question: is there a firm command to marry daughters off Is it sinful to delay their marriage? If so, how much? Give answer in the light of the Qur'an and Hadith. Answer: The command is stressed in the Qur'an and also found in the Ahadith in a general way and both sonsT daughters are included, also it applies to daughters particular The'lslamic Marriage________________ And wed the'spouseless among you..... (24-32) (to the end of the vers) The spouseless may be a virgin or a widow, an unmarried man or a widower. As for ahadith, we find in Miskkat in the chapter observing Salah early in its period. ijbjJ'j CJ tjl HLoh ls_>_i—i Y' wAV b Jlj 2% jl (jju/'i'jj) I4J oJ-rj tit (hIHj Oj____a>-'3i 1. The Prophet & Said. "0 Ali! There are three things that you must not postpone:Salah when its time comes, a funeral when it is ready, and the marriage of a spouseless boy or girl when a suitable match is found. ” (Tirmizi) • d Al; Jy-M JU JU ^t-f. y 4*ii ujti uh j id jii aj-j sJj • 1. 1jU 2, The Prophet said, "One who has children must give them a good name, impart them teaching and training and when they are of age marry them off. If he does not marry them off and they commit a sin then the sin will be on the father. ” itjjJi jji JU & dll J tkxJi j ♦hi uh t^jy ^1 3. The Prophet # said, "It was written in the Torah t , . , U1C <orah that if anyone s daughter turns twelve years of aee and h„ au ■ « ’ dge and he did not marry her off and she committed a sin • father" " Sin Wll) on her
The Islamic Mg«| These narrations are evidence of the emphasis. Neflet'r an emphasised command attracts punishment. The concluj- Khadith di^lose the size of the sin The father will earn; according ;o the nature of his children's sin. (Inuhul al Fatawa CHAPTER TWO CONCERNING A WIFE SECTION ONE VIRTUES OF A WIFE Allah has made marriage such a relationship that no one other than a wife can make a man's life comfortable. Sometimes, all relatives display contempt in illness but a wife will never desert her husband. She is the most comforting to her husband in his illness. (at-Tabligh, v-14p-146) THE BEST FRIEND There can, never be a greater friend in the world than a wife. In time of poverty and hardship, all show their backs, even parents, but a wife always stays by the side of her husband. The same is experienced in illness. So, there is no friend of man like his wife in the world. (Huquq ul Bayt, p-22) IMPORTANCE OF WOMEN AND VALUING THEIR SUPPORT Women have a particular effect through their service. They sene like slaves. If they serve after realising their greatness then they would go to great heights. Indeed, men are dependent on them, otherwise, men would know how they stand. The Prophet & said, "Three things are dear to me: (women, scent and miwak (toothbrush of twig)." Their doings and personality are worth considering. The Prophet's & liking them was not out of lust. (Malhuzal Jadid Malfuzat, p-28). WIFE IS A GREAT BENEFACTOR Women have a right because they are helpless and another right because they are friendly to their husband. We have seen
4544______________________________________________________ The Islamic Marr,* that the right of a friend is greater. A wife is cMeeniable because she helps protect religion a evil thoughts Thus, she is a great benefactor. The religio. minded value her favour and she must be given esteem and It nght». must be given to her. for. she has some cliaractensiL each of which has many rights. (Al-Tabligh v-14, p-141, 149) IH x SACRIFICE Xo matter what kind of a wife she is. slovenly or rude, d ha* left her parents and family for you. She has only youi Mghl. only her husband to count on. So, human natun demands that such a faithful one should not be hurt (ibid p-5?) Thus, if her husband has a dispute with her parents r other relatives, she generally sides with her husband. In spin of that some husbands commit excess on them. They treat liter worse than slaves and some do not even give them food an clothing. (Majalis Hakim ul Ummah p-112. Al Tabligh -14p-Hi F AN Of RS OF WOMEN I say that if a wife does not work at home but merely supervises and administers the working then this is enough for. such a work fetches large salary in the world. At administrator is given great respect. Look at a viceroy. Hi does nothing. He has an army of servants at his command wk are answerable to him, and because of his responsibility, I* earns a large salary and respect. Wives too have a similf position that cannot be compensated with merely provision. Bl­ ue see noble daughters doing household chores with their o» funds. They raise children with devotion. The paid nurse c* never equal a wife in such work. (Huquq uz Zawjayn p-149) A MawIawi (religious leader) used to say that it is «>•' for women to cook food. But, I do not agree with him and take my cue from tins verse (30.21) (Already translated, sec-2 chap-1). Thus, women J . -tiled to please you not to cook for you. (ibid p-551) MISMANAGEMENT WITHOl T WIFE A house cannot be managed properly without a wife. Man's work is only to earn a living and only women can give the home life. There are many rich men who had not married. • their homes were in bad shape. One may employ cooks and servants, but he cannot get the comfort which evades him without a wife A paid cook can walk out suddenly and he will have no sympathy for his master while a wife will never leave her husband in the lurch. Besides, servants will work more efficiently if a wife is there The nannys and other servants will not pilfer much when a woman supervises over them, but without her the house will be in doldrums. However, if a man has some experience of household chores then the servants are more organised but not as much as a woman would disciplined them. (At Tabligh, v-14 p-148) Indeed, your wives work for you against the maintenance you provide them, but no servant would work as much if he were given a like amount in salary. Some unmarried people who had employed servants spent much of their salary in housekeeping which came down when they married. (Haquq uz Zawjayn, p-149) SECTION TWO MERIT OF A VILLAGE WOMAN The women of villages are ill -mannered and dumb and unskilled But their good quality is that they are not cunning or fraudulent, and they are very’ chaste and pure. (Malfuzat Khabrat v-3 p-35) The Qur‘an speaks of the merits of women oujjt c/AiUdi inaive and believing women)1. This means that unawareness of outside affairs is the distinction of women. The verse could also mean unawareness of indecency, not total lack of knowledge But, though this quality is also desired in men, yet
474f> The Islamic Mam* it is cvprv-.wcd hoi, in praise of women. not men This stwwi that total absence of knowledge too is more suitable in women TTx . ".worths then dare to advocate giving up of the veil in the name ol advance and progress. Amazing waste matter lies tn their minds' of i'awmiyah v-1 p-141). h she possesses all kinds of skill but lacks modesty then she is everything but a woman. This is a necessary quality for marriage Here excellences are meaningless if she is immodest (Islah Inqilab, p-47i Indeed, most women of India arc such as know no more of the world than their own corner. This is their greatness that fits the description that Allah has made in verse: De l< Mtnugf they keep themselves in bad shape, unadorned and do ■i know the art of moving about and conversation or of 'viking after children, but just one trait, chastity, overshadows all these shortcomings. I am much satisfied with such women. They are not pretenders and this is a gem which we must valued (Nusranm Msa) It is my experience that the woman who lacks skill of management is chaste If anyone is worried about such a mman then he must recall this gem of quality in her so that his heart will be at peace. This is what the Qur'an teaches. The chaste, naive, believing women o Since Allah praises women's innocence and unawareness, so indeed that is good. But there is no good in what you propose Experience will disclose it. The women of India do have the qualities the Qur'an prescribes for women. (Huquq ul Bayt. p-44 I XCELLENCE OF ILL-MANNERED BAD SKILLED WOMEN Someone lamented that lack of skill in some women hurts their husbands at times. Their dumbness is an excellence that is very dear and esteemed because it grows in them chastity Unchaste women are always occupied in their make-up outward show and neatness. Similarly, some women are rude and quick-tempered, but1 do not doubt their chastity in the least. Unchaste women W themselves sweet and polished and have an outward civili5^ approach. This is dangerous. They are cunning and tl>{' conceal their mischief as a cat hides her excretion and d’f' deceive man I am not pleased with such women. As for uns»..i,cd women, one may find their dumbness disagree* Then it is quiet likely that you dislike something and Allah has placed in it a lot of good. (4 : 19) (Majalis Hakim ul Ummat, p-11) 011)Hire WORTH ESTEEM Some people despise an old wife though they themselves have worn her out. Mawlana Fadi ur Rehman said, ’’An old wife becomes a nanny. In the beginning, she is sweet and pleasing but it is in the end that the advantages multiply, for, she is affable and helpful. These are more worthy benefits than pleasure. I always say that youth is the time to love when both parties are emotional while old age is the time to show compassion. Indeed, no one but a wife is helpful in old age. The wife of Mawlana Muhammad Mazhar U* Ju U»-j, teacher at Madrasah Mazahir ul Uloom had grown old, but he was so devoted to her that when she had minor ailments too, he would take leave from the Madrasah to nurse her with his own hands. He did not leave that to the maid servants. (at-Tabligh v-14, p-142, Huquq uz Zawjayn pp-355 and 550). A STORY There was a rich man from England. He was influential in got eminent circles. His wife died and the Collector paid him a visit to condole with him. The rich man commented in broken
« 1K ulatTnt22% <H „,un.x mv "»<• llldccii- slR ni> a'»ma' y , M l«A ■»"’ * '**’’ " "’ """"’Cl -X > ' ,, dnnk' He wept while lie said that. uW| »atet to unnk 11V • This wai a European, not much educated He soke „ Mniplkth But 1 read with my own eyes the statement Hundu leader. 'She is not my wife but my mother.’* eduuted nun said that. This is not something to boast abou Hower. 1 do say that only a wife is helpful in old age. (Nusramn Nisa - Malfuz, p-5Ji SECTION THREE MERITS OF INDIAN WOMEN LOVE. HVSBANDS I always say that Indian women are angles, not in beaut but in manners. They have many merits. (at-Tahligh, p-51) They are maids of Paradise who are described as (lovers of their husbands). They endure the hardsht men cause them otherwise there would be divorces everyday happens elsewhere. The Arabs are the foremost in this regards I found a twenty one year old girl who had married the sevent ume. There, women do not hesitate to approach the judge* flimsy grounds who is always sympathetic to women to di'1 • her. hi India, however, no woman tolerates divorce, but if” is concerned into seeking divorce then she is not happ) *’ “ or instance, a woman in Kanpur filed a suit aga>'1-sl usband and the judge upheld her plea and ordered the hu* hvst?°rCH l'er ^ugh she had requested it, yel slie j • ncally on being divorced, crying, "I have pe'" 'H^uzZawjayn,p.150) *omen '°'C °f busband runs in the veins of CHASTITY quality of chastity calls to mind the ()1e Qur'an d,„« of restraining glances whom Indeed, Indian women surpass all other women in these ehancterista. Some men are ugly, but their wives do not cast a look at anyone else. They keep themselves within their homes, but even those Indian women who go out of homes are often pure and chaste. They lower their gaze and veil themselves and do not even greet anyone on the way They are .« ^”7” llS“ W”re fema,e s,ran8ers and old ^"'•^i^IrXXiXd-'‘'’'h h°meS- Perl,aPS a K*1' l°W b“ are i„ me" husbands and e not incline ^^’"^^""er eu^ma"besides ‘C?’ m "*y le>™ of 2 ‘^'ion f0 Ma't es’ his wid ° sotti er peculiar n- PecUJlar CUItu'e is a °w burns n 6nis from to the ?di"fe lina'i<>n f rhu*and ' X, 'Ns,) % is . But ,h . ' ^>0
50_____ m **•m’We tl,»nvi*c iiM hUsh.wd. tm-TnMigh. v-14, WJ|) """'tiu. « nW like Arab '™'"en *» (hints- The Indian wmu-n tremble lt ,k "A"n< C’ ns Ben If they are put to death, (hey will noip, wx might talk among themselves as is their habH ’X" w®h * authon?! 01 C™T'w* ^7nv.3MO»l® "°w “*,1K"- bUI' ra0SI 01 d’“ 'ixwwneiola.. «. W-l”»> si t f satisfaction Those Arab women or Indian women of princely state, who approach the courts get their husbands to apportion then allowances or divorce them. In the latter case, they hasten to claim their dower. In some countries, the dower is paid on marriage promptly It is only the Indian women who forgive the dower and endure without a regular maintenance allowance. k (ibid, v-14 p-141 ■ In Arabia, women demand their dowry from their husband by coercion but this is considered very bad in India. The lndnn women do not bring the name dower on their tongues, and th forgive it when their husbands die. (ibid, v-7 p-51). THOl GHT FOR Hl'SBANI) Thus, Indian women are free of defect. They ha'e merits. They are so devoted to their husbands that the) quarrel with their husband, cry and argue but only s0 L “ they have nothing to do. But, the moment a husband is they become submissive. Immediately, they will g‘' everything personal and serve him unflinchingly not c • or their own food and drink and sleep. They throw the'1 10 sene him. I wm. m Cri day life l00, they behave with the salllL .jop ™ No wonu M h’ nKal before her 11USW»« him ta bos, food. The Indian women marry, t nfcf”"1IK!e [ht„ "'™nL'FSS Class all Other women. Once they m^teXhtemselvesto .heir husbands to the extent of P*™, them over their own parents. They generally take the side of their husbands. If a husband is poor, his wife will toil hard and earn to feed her husband. The Indian woman willingly waits for her husband even if he goes missing for fifty years. When he returns, he will find his wife exactly as he had left her. (at Tabligh v-3 p-59) ll,ey haVe 10 Wek dlW“ « hmenton gening it. V h“stand' <hey would weep l This is very worthwhile ..... .. ,vij woruiwntie among women that they love their husbands. Then, does this behaviour call for mistreating them? Or, that they should be separated?
CHAPTER THREE COHERING WIDOWS MARRIAGE of widow Ilis because of ignorance that people look down upon a uido« marrying again. In fact, some people are so savage that if a fiance dies, his fiancee will remain unmarried all her wife. As for a widow, she generally has to give up thought of a ‘•econd marriage whether she is a child, a teenager or older (han dial. 'r ';,enin810 “"worzuiuaj ffSsySSS:?.*---41 dead man's asse[s ’e Same custom nreva? hlS Wealth "Mas° could? 'rst- FOr ■ a§e is ak >ei h "eca (W/ Inqilab, v-2 p-32)
55
--------- ~^U^EMar example, a husband died leaving nothing. His up with their daughter-in-law and want her to go av'^ 3re fc<l maintains that she belongs there and will not go to butshe Each side wrongs and oppresses the other. ' Parents. IGNORANT OPPOSITION TO SHARIAH someone. (»' ^jM,hah' p‘384) 57 After the iddah, In short, the ignorant regard their daughter-in-law as th properly. The in-laws over rule the girl's parents and iniagi™ it is their right. So, this is the first sin. They hinder the rights of her parents. This is the second sin. The third is that they usurp the young girl's right to mam at her choice and will. They took away the widow's liberty, rejected her parent’s right and enforced their own right. What is saddening is that these people present themselves as good-doers in marrying-ofl a window though, in fact, they observed none of the real widoms of the marriage. Such cruelty was perpetratedlin Arabia too. The Prophet > eliminated that. He said tju f Allah and the angels cursed six people; one of ^°seoppos|„_E who re-introduces the custom of jahiliyah. °u . se pagaii Shari'ah if you do that. For God's sake give up customs. Try to eliminate them. (Uddal al Jaluiiya 1. p FORCED MARRIAGE d£)W give * Some people argue that they had madeJ^ahty tJ,a‘ assent with her tongue. But this is a lTierewidoW'S marria^ one may blame them for compulsion. obtain 0 not legal without her verbal consent sO an sometimes they marry her off wit ou of the’11 those consent do oppress her, for, t ey gnjSe hef her masters. Secondly, they do not authority. (ibid, p-374) isLA^iC THE DUTIES OF IN-LAWS OF A WID^V TEACHINGS mljSt giv6 When her husband dies, his PareI
chaffer four ON EQUALITY SECTION ONE marriage. "•“‘■Ip-llll —‘ actual IMPORTANCE AND WRONGS OF MARRYING 01TSIDE Shari'ah has recognised some characteristics in Kifa 31 (equality). resemblance). It is better that the bride should be of an equal standing with the bridegroom because if status differs then manners and habits also differ which creates “'T!"’ b",,'en So' wll>'“ » to o—»■ M recosnix»; ^,Hren: 'U" ^^DFro. ,Z^W/ Antean h ‘^^lO that ^dam ’ “’’t d ,0Wer <. er s<de r K escent fil 8'dof ' llr)eape k °st nOl K «>« “PPoses
60 The Islamic Man,. - -------- ------- d'J "J i ^-dJ Li'} aJ' 4~aJC "Equality is from the man’s side because a woman of high birth refuses to be a partner of a man of lower rank. Equality is not from the woman's side because the husband is the owner of the bed and he does not show contempt on using the bed. This issue is correct in everyone's sight." (Istah Inqilab p-12). The Islamic Marriage 61 SECTION TWO ON LINEAGE DEFINITION The characteristics of equality include lineage. (Imdad al Fatawa, v-2 p-369) However in common law it is peculiar to personal nobility whether religious or worldly and taken into account with lineage to measure equality. This is evidenced in the justice language liyjlu jand its basis is common law. WISDOM IN EQUALITY OF LINEAGE ! h's*"' ' ''d * d J d ' ' 0 mankind! Surely We have created you from a male and a female and have made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another. (19:13) (And know you blood relations and give their rights accordingly to neatness). Without the nations and tribes, it would have been extremely difficult to recognise the different families and clans. Names are generally similar and many have the same name. Some distinction is possible also from the place of residence, a fa# from neighbourhoods and from tribes. However, people have made that a basis of pride and there are two kind of people. Some have done away with reference to lineage imagining that this verse speaks of different tribe 0|dy to recognise them. This prompted some people to reject nobility of descent. However, other verses of the Qur'an, and some Ahadith nnist be seen too. (al-Tabligh al Akramiyeh, v-18 p-21) MARRIAGE OF UNEQUAL There are many kinds of marriages among unequal.! some case, such marriage is void while in some others in valid and there is no option to annul it. In yet other cases.i: correct but there is option to annul it. THE FIRST KIND Marriage of unequal without permission of adult woe who is a blood relation. The marriage is not valid. They,: commit sin all their life if they' stay together. THE SECOND KIND If a father or a grandfather has married off a minor tot , unequal and the father and grandfather are not malicious tN the marriage is valid and there is no option to annul it etc? under certain circumstances. , THE THIRD KIND If a guardian other than father or grandfather, or or grandfather who are known to be malicious or (they) in an intoxicated state marry off a minor to an unequal then marriage is void. THE FORTH KIND [h If an adult woman is married to an unequal W permission of her guardian then this marriage is valid an one has option to annul it. (al Hilah al Najizah pp-105-106)-
62 NOBILITY OF DESCENT IS REAL 1. Allah has said, He Islamic Marriage 63 they feel disgraced to toe other people and a warlike situation arises. And certainly We sent Nuh and Ibrahim, and we appointed in the progeny of the twain, the Prophethood and the Book. (57:26) Besides, man protects what belongs to his family. Thus, as an imam the Quraysh will protect religion in two ways: 1) It belongs to his clan, and 2) religious relationship. Thus, difference in lineage is not without purpose, and it is from Allah. (Huquq uz Zawjayn p-193). 4. Furthermore, a Hadith quotes the Prophet # as saying: Thus, the offspring of Ibrahim have excellence overite rest of the tribe, for, prophethood and the Book will be wit them. 2. Ahadith: il j "The people are like mines of gold and silver. The best of them in Jahiliyah are the best in Islam too, when they have secured knowledge too." The jurist of an unrecognised lineage is not equal to ajuris of a recognised lineage. The jurist of a recognised lineages superior. But a scholar of an unrecognised lineage is supenr to an ignorant person even if he is of a recognised linea? Anyway, the Hadith emphasises that lineage is wof® considering. 3. Another Hadith: urbtj--------- 1 J* *------------------- There is certainly some reason why the Proph*1' associated imamat (leadership) with the Quraysh. He li^ the major imamat to the Quraysh and the minor to nobil11) descent. (Islah Inqilab p-109, al Tabligh v-18 p-220) • ill* Allah has given the Quraysh excellence. The chiefs from them and others will not hesitate to follow the111' JUJu-c^ilii <_jJ___S'V Ji ui When the Muslims lost foot in the Battle of Hunayn, the Prophet $ advanced his horse and said, "1 am the Prophet. It is not a lie and I am the son of Abdul Muttalib.” He meant, "I am of noble descent and will never be defeated." He warned the enemy, taking pride on his descent. If nobility was not something then why would he say, "I am the son of Abdul Muttalib?" 5. According to a Hadith, "Allah chose from the offspring of Sayyidina Ibrahim >£3, Sayyidina Ismail fet and from his offspring the Kinanah and from them the Quraysh and from them the Banu Hashim and from them he chose me." 6. We read in another Hadith: (<?yj! u«l) ji sJi) ^l) • ’ u. sijj) U j LU ^^>14 Allah created all creatures and placed me among the best of them. Then He put them in two sections and placed me in the better section. Then He made them into tribes and placed me in the best tribe (the Qurayish). Then He made them into families and Placed me in the best family (Banu Hashim). Thus, I
65 64 ““^Tbestof them inherently and in terms of fam^> These quotations leave no doubt that descent does not |acl nobility, though it does not imply the noblest. The standard« the noblest is taqwa (righteousness, God-fearing). AjJail Alli _Gc- y—=>', Surely the noblest among you in the sight of Allah is the most pious of you. (49 : 13) (at-Tabligh, v-18. p-222). ARROGANCE NOT LAWFUL Nobility of descent is not within one's power and st nothing to boast about, but there is no doubt that itisi blessing. Intellectually, one might boast on what is in one: power and that is knowledge and deeds though, according it Shari‘ah, one should not boast on that too. , (Mulfuzat Aslirafiyah.f-■ It is forbidden under all circumstances to be proud because of high descent. Today, not only the nobles indulge in thatb- also the common show arrogance and regard themselves* equals of the nobles and do not differentiate bet*e: themselves and the nobles. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-193) But this does not mean that nobility of descent is nod1-- For example, one should not be proud of one's beaut) - handsome looks, but we cannot deny that it is a blessing h‘gh level. The same can be said of nobility of descent. (al-Tabligh. w" DESCENT IS FROM FATHER *S 3 ser’ous mistake in regarding the mothe . nohle enn8 SOmeone's descent. Thus, if his equal’ RC0Ple d0 nOt consider the person to be nob e , i on ,h'"'ata™S equality of descent. „-<l' StaiW> -« commands of * ,;P iXe i " ? P"SM'S "»•>- in -heir n N his mother is from Banu Hash"’ zakah. Thus, F re noble- evidence The Arabs also mothers, *>' “ ® wb p<'* "2 p'108’ SHARIF because of wires. Sayyidah Sarah * X el.. bat Sayyidah Hajirah was as are sayyidma Ismail ® was her son, he being the father of same Arabs. Thus, the woman who is the beginning of some .Arabs was a slave. The tribes in Inida, however, look for defects in other families because of low descent of women. They should know that this is no defect because Shari‘ah does not rely on mothers ■nevaluanng descent. {al-Tabligh alAkramiyah v-18, p-224). RELLABILITY of SAYYID However, there k te«ndants of the Prophet le3XCecPtl°n (° th’S rule- The ln Case of nff aUng descent, mothp ■ “t«nc^01fFadmah” X,ed up°n * ‘*..biii,TOe;^,^(Sayyj-^ S.*bri*'»,he 'S °nlr becaUse SaWina A|Sayyid- The ? m,stake Of fh . .......
67 66________________ —f^tetiun is only for the Prophet * and^X down from SaW** Fat'm^ The offspri ‘ Sayyidina Al. 4. from o.her wombs are all ShayW, !» offspring of the righteous Caliphs are also called Shaykh (Ifadcit al-Yawmiyah Pp lo.|; A question arises here about a person whose father j '' Sayyid but mother is Sayyid. Is he a Sayyid or not? Accord to the rules, he is not Sayyid though he gets a touch of nobfc because of his mother being Sayyid, but he cannot call himself a Sayyid. It is lawful for him to take zakah if he is not Sahib Nasab (owner of minimum on which zakah is payable) Anyway, mother is not considered in descent (exceptfc Sayyidah Fatimah Neverthless in freedom of nect children represent their mother. SECTION THREE COMMENT ON INDIA'S TABLES OF GENEALOGY I doubt very much if those who are called noble of desce: in India are really so. It is very strange, the number of Shaykfe we come across. There are Siddiqis, Faruqis, Alarm Uthmanis and Ansaris. What about the other Sahabah» besides the four we hear of ? We do not hear anyone say that he is a descendant' Sayyidina Bilal ibn Rabah or Sayyidina Miqdad '■ Aswad So, I doubt them. These genealogies are tr^ UP by our friends. 1 bare given vent to my doubts in crowded assen1^ ’°Pe 7“ >»* descent to the four Caliphs ff w. and Sayyt^ina Abu Ayyub Ansari Dld “A descend118 theSe Sahahah 4, conquer Ind'a’ te“ o,h" Sahabah 4. become ex*' S1 ‘hues are far-fetched. Thus, the doubt. y (Zy/nA nf familV trees haVe the chart, the upper or ve.... * *in» » btftl| and camo' ** esabhS.e , c» Um *r “ „ Fanwis from Thana Bhawn but 7nTaX mhei-history because Ibrahim tree. There is lack of unantW atari him being a Famji or an Ijlf or a Tamimi or a Say y 1 Zaydi. (Haququz Zawjayn, p-192) No amount of evidence is enough on that. There is doubt, nevertheless. (Islah Inqilab, v-2 p-109) THRESTED TABLES OF GENEALOGY ^people are noWe bul nobles in the tables of genealoav Tn* > • S ne amrl. claimants are cursed in Tb So®'oneJ Ind,an ^les of„ prove, b*na*U1 1l<H*«connyyid"1> Aads nsidered ■ T. Kr, X ''“hbles or ‘®. so n, he n *«A®„ “"'"de-, ofSeneain„ ll,,s is Nf>i»l„(l C0KNitv w?)- 8y iMhv Arab, tflerDp tfleAf. rcle n ■ apply. afe nntPe°Ple.s h abs .. ' ^Ut SPerp„. So, ..5s Of
The Islamic Manj^ 696% _ knswer: M per ta ST^«na«O"s- since the tanis repmeh or tark at it. and these tribes find it teproachM «, many among, each other, the issue of equality stands. (Imdad ul Fatawa, v-7, p-311) GENEALOGY AND TRIBAL LINKS ALSO FORM BASIS OF EQUALITY TODAY The jurists do not rely on the genealogy tables of the non-Arabs, if it is not accepted in common practice. If it is, then equality is dependant upon genealogy and tribal basis. (Imdad id Fatawa, v-2 p-368) ARE THE ANSARS AND THE QURAYSH EQUALS The Ansars are not from the Quraysh. But, the Alamgiri • says that all Arabs are equal, so the Ansars and the Quraysh will be regarded as equals, (ibid v-2 p-371) SUMMARY The restriction of Kifa'at (equality) is not without a reason. It is based on customary' honour or disgrace. For example, the SB Shaykhs may intermarry though they may be Faruqis. Siddiqis. Ansaris or Uthmanis; they are equals, and the restriction will' F not apply whether the mother is an Arab or not. (al-Idafat al-Yawniyah Part 3, p-200) NON ARAB SCHOLAR NOT EQUAL TO ARAB WOMAN Though some jurists have held that a non-Arab scholar is equal of an Arab woman yet it is explained in Dur Mukhtar that a non-Arab cannot be her equal even if he is -a (non-Arab) scholar or king. (Islah Inqilab b-2, p-111. Fath ul Qadir, Durr Mukhtar) A COMMON MISTAKE The villagers regard all outsiders as lesser than them as though nobility is limited to a few villages. Thus, if one of them marries a woman from outside, the village woman do not take her as an equal. His children face difficulty in marri g within the community. (Islah Inqlab v-2, p-110) Ate samic Marriage SECTION FOUR EQUALITY FROM RELIGIOUS POINT OF VEIW Among the basis on which Shari‘ah recognises equality is religion. Again -as in the case of descent it is not harmful if the wife is of a lower rank than her husband, but the husband must not be of a rank lower than his wife. A man's irreligiousness may be of three kinds: in the fundamental beliefs, in branch issues or in practice. THE FIRST KIND The woman is a Muslim but the man a non-Musiim — a Jew, Christian, Magian, idolator or atheist, Obviously, their marriage is void. 1HESECOND KIND The woman is a Sunni but the man is a bidati (an «"U>.lflieioeSiollKUlsr,fdi " lan in Mirza as a Prophet, then they cam™ ’ be ieving ’Muslim but not an equal of the Sunni Otherwise he is ln some cases, the Ulama are 9XT'^°r“fc'he'Xen rf" * i“OTa,or eiJ. Those who rule that h ■ SSes lOclay who l • caut‘ous approach °‘d) sh°uld be f no[ niarried is « »eee„ ■ "^ims is ° . ^rriage
70 71 The Islamic Marriage THE THIRD KIND The sinning man is never the equal of a righteous woman. Some jurists hold that the daughter of a pious man is also righteous. If a woman is righteous and the man is a sinner then he cannot be the equal of the righteous woman. Some jurists hold that the sinner must be a proclaimed. As for marriage of unequal, we have already spoken on that. (Islah Inqilab v-2 pp-13,14). CONFIRM THAT THE GROOM IS A MUSLIM Some of the youth who have acquired modern education are so free thinking and independent minded that they do not hesitate to imitate the atheists and they criticise the basic injunctions of Islam. They question prophethood, salah or fasting. Some of them have doubts about the last hour. Sucha man is a disbeliever though he may call himself a Muslim. A Muslim woman's marriage is not valid with a disbeliever. If a Muslim professes these beliefs then he becomes a non-Muslim and his marriage with a Muslim woman becomes void. Thus, you must ensure that your prospective son-in-law is a Muslim and if he happens to utter words of disbelief after marriage then ask him to make a repentance and renew his marriage, (ibid v-2 p-39> V ERIFY THAT HE DOES NOT MOVEABOUT WITH THE MISLED Find out before marriage whether or not the bridegroom subscribe to a misled group, not only the ancient ones but the new ones that crop up every day. Similarly, if he is western educated, verify whether it influenced his religious upbringing. If he utters even one"01" of disbelief then he will have to reaffirm his Islam and ret®" his marriage otherwise, he and his wife would be illegally. (Islah Inqilab, p-115) MARRIAGE WITH A CHRISTIAN OR JEW WOMAN Some people return from the west with a wife who bel°n' The Islamic Marriage to a Chirstian community but does not profess the religion of Christianity being atheists. Marriage with such a woman is not correct. Some men who marry a Christian woman are so impressed by her that they lose all values of their religion. It is wajib for them to keep away from that, (islah Inqilab, p-114) While the piety' of the prospective son-in-law was verified in the olden days it is necessary' now-a-day to verify if he is a Muslim at all. It is a condition to marry a Muslim woman that her husband should be a Muslim. Marriage of a Muslim woman with a disbeliever is not valid. Many boys are influenced with modem education and do not care about faith or religion. They are Muslims only in name. They utter words of disbelief with their tongue and do ■not care about it. Then one of them is chosen for a Muslim girl and the family members are happy that they have observed the sunnah method of marriage. But the condition to observe the sunnah is faith which we do not know' how many times he may have rejected! A pious girl was married to a western educated boy who bragged, "Muhammad0 was a great reformer and I admire him .much. But prophethood is a religious view." dAJ’i 4i b iyu (We seek refuge in Allah from that). This is an expression of disbelief which nullifies the marriage. If the parents of the girl are told about it then they are prepared to fight for their son-in-law. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-485) WEALTH OR PEDIGREE PREFERRED OVER RELIGION Some people hand over their daughter to an irreligious man only because he is wealthy or belongs to a noble family of repute. The man’s outlook borders on disbelief. As a result the couple commit sin of adultery all their life. Their children would be bastards. Even if the man does not commit disbelief, they suffer spiritual punishment always. (Islah inqilab, v-2 p-14) 0 &
72 ’________________________________ —e lslamic WHY BASE ON RELIGION The objective of marriage is love and friendshi religion plays a greater role in promoting that than anw else. Indeed, all relationships terminate when only reii links remain even on the Day of Resurrection. <__ )(__ Js’ N^k There shall be no ties of kinship among them.(23:ioi) and their ties (of relationship) would be cut asunder Out of affection between you in the life of this world; then on the Day of Resurrection you will deny one another and will curse one another. (29 : 25) But, religious relationship will not end even on that day riends on that day shall be foes to one another except those who are God fearing. (43:67) fears /im35011 'S *at religion creates fear of Allah- He think of31 bC mindful °f the little things and will not* will not h'0 at'n8 righlS °f any°ne even t° a little eXieLpl< Who can i?” anyone> nor prefer himself over otherP e more civilised than such a one? (|bid- P'4S' IRREUGio?s w°omaICH A religious man W1TH ° marriage Women of low character- Th° jc that she vet ’ and We niust not have misgiving5 w» W "form. i. is a cauli„US aPP'<”C’ K <5“r'anic words mean: The aduherer weds no. bo. »» adulteress or an "X. and .he adulteress, none weds her but an adulterer or an associator. (24:3) Though this does not specifically disallow such a marriage yet it calls the marriage disliked. If the persons adulterous nature is confirmed them there is greater degree of dislike to the point of unlawfulness but if it is to the degree of possibility- then the dislike is lesser. This is stressed in the Hadith Cm > - / r, (choose a « Prophet a «omm who mav hL ' A “ chose for • 11115 is what the ilH:
74 _________________________ The Islamic It is also the other way about when a male child is marri^ to a young woman. Thus, a boy was married to a yo^ woman; he was so young that he could have been her fir$! born. This was very detestable though not disallowed. If there is a reasonable compatibility in age then it promotes love ani affection. (Udal al Jahiliyah, p-356) It is very necessary that the couple be of a compatible age This is a natural requirement but also somewhat recommended by Shari‘ah. The Qur'an says: Maidens of restraining glances of equal age. (38 : 52) It also says: Surely We have created them (their spouses) by (special) creation, so We have made them virgins, loving, equals of age. (56 : 35-37) Difference of age causes unfamiliarity. People of one a? become friends quickly. When Sayyidina Abu Bakr and later Sayyinina Umer proposed marriage to Sayyidat Fatima the Prophet said each time, "Sheis young. There was much difference in their ages, so the Prophe* turned down the request of each of them. Thus, part of d-! reason was that the difference in age of the bride and groo® must not be very much. (Udal al Jahiliyah) TOLERABLE DIFFERENCE * When she was married, Sayyidah Fatimah ^s. . 1516 years old and Sayyidina Ali was 21 years old. advisable that the bridegroom should be slightly older than bride. (Islah ur Rasum, p-90) The wise men say that there is no harm if the " younger slightly because a woman is the ruled while man1S The Islamic Marriage_____________________________________________________ ruler. Besides, woman ages faster than man, so a differenced oftwo to four years is absorbed. (Huquq uz Zawjayn. p-371) THE GIRL MUST REFUSE WHEN THERE IS A MISMATCH If the bride is very young and the groom is old then she might become a widow very soon. Girls as young as thirteen years old are — dumb creatures — married off to men as old as sixty years old. If she is chaste then she finds herself imprisoned for life, otherwise she will commit indecency. In either case, husband and wife will be at loggers head and disagreement. In the second case, there will be much disrepute and disgrace of both families. Often, an old husband is the first todie, so the very' young wife falls into the trap of customs and rots the rest of her life as a widow. Sometimes, she does not get enough to eat and, if custom will not permit, she will not go out to earn a living, but if she does then she may fall prey towicked men. (Islah Inqilab p-24). EVILS OF MARRYING YOUNG BOY TO AN ELDER WOMAN Some customs are the opposite of this. A young boy, often achild, is married to an older girl. She becomes youthful early while he is old enough to play in her lap. The foolish people who make this match do not realise that the ideal ages of the partners is when they are nearly equal. This custom will never allow the pair to show love to one another. The result is that the girl either commits indecency or withers away from tuberculosis. Later when the boy grows to youth, they are again no match. The hatred of early marriage persists and the husband is not respected, (islah Inqlab. v-6 p-44). When the Prophet # did not approve a young girl for an old man then how may we expect him to approve a young boy for an older woman? Besides, this is unreasonable too. The otplanation is that a husband is superior and an authority. Besides, a woman ages faster than her husband who might then b,lil8 another wife. (Huquq uz Zawajayn p-371)
76 SECTION SIX
I •J. 6. One who meets these conditions may be tolerated. It is not - proposals of marriage He consulted his neighbour who..; jew on who should he choose. The Jew hesitated int beginning saying, "Our religions differ so how my advice% be reliable. The saintly man assured him, "Youarefc Muslim, but you are a gentleman and would not give a advice. So 1 proffer it without hesitation." The Jew said "I have heard that your Prophet had said: cjiL jilid j j uJuJ jS o'Ji "Four things are observed when marrying a women: wealth, beauty, position and religion. Try to many'het to a religious minded man". "All the proposals received by you lack perfect religion. ■ student who stays in your mosque is nearest to that. He - always engaged in Allah's work. Marry your daughter to 1c ■Hered in the groo*11- fe« things ^d ^0” |amic beiiefs and he M he no doubt in his There should be n elders. , ue should be mild tempered. . U^^tpectediogi-erightstohisreatton. I Ills.easily dial he™ enough means of livelihood. far fetched to expect, such a young man to grow a beard after a gradual living together. (Malfuzcit Ashraliyah. p-311) There are three other necessary conditions. 1. Ability to earn a livelihood. •' should be equality as near as possible. - Righteousness. ""S cease .............................
80 The Islamic Marriage example, in spite of being advised against it, a woman married her daughter hastily only because she thought that she was dying. It turned out that the bridegroom was very cruel. He quarrelled with a Britisher and then was scared of being punished for that, so he enlisted himself in the war. The man is very quarrelsome and the woman now laments that it was het daughter's fate. I feel like throttling her to death, for she seems to say that she is not at fault but it is Allah's fault, cJJi (We seek Allah's refuge from such thought ) (Hasan ul Aziz v-2 p-4W SECTION TWO THE BEST WOMEN Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah's Messenger was asked, "Which woman is the best"? He said. "The one whose husband is pleased when he looks at her and who obeys him when he commands her. She does not do anything displeasing about her person of his wealth. (Nasai) According to Sayyidina Ma'qil ibn Yasar Allah's Messenger said, "Marry such women as are loving and prolific because I will take pride over other Ummahs on your large numbers. (Abu Dawood, Nasai) If she is a widow, one can see her previous life how she loved her husband and how many children she had. If she is* virgin, her health and family history will disclose how she might turn out. (Hayat ul Muslimeen, p-188) w Islamic Marriage 81 (ijSJLi) illJj "A woman may be married for four reasons, for her property, her rank, her beauty and her religion; so get the one who is religious and prosper." (Mishkat) WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A BRIDE In these times, one looks for beauty in a bride and in a bridegroom, but religion is side-tracked. In rea'^, however, beauty and wealth should be the least looked 3 aliO' qualities and religion should be the most sought after qua ' a prospective match. This is why a Hadith say: TO TOOK FOR MODERN EDUCATION Just as people look for modem education in a bridegroom, they have now regrettably come to look for such qualification in would be brides. What is their aim in that? If they want them to share the burden of easing then it speaks very poorly of the manly qualities of the husbands. It is shameful to be obliged to a woman. If such a woman seems to be skilled and might give comfort then one must know that sincerity, obedience and a helping hand are more necessary to lead a peaceful and comfortable married life. Some lack-ness of skill might be tolerated but not a lack of these other things. Experience shows that modem education makes one arrogant, selfish, rude, shameless and cunning. How then will such a woman lend a helping hand? Rather, she will demand her rights and make her husband's life difficult. If he is derelict then she will not hesitate to go to the courts for her rights. 1 say that it is better that a woman is illiterate than qualified in modern education. An illiterate woman is harmless. If she does not possess the praiseworthy qualities then she will also not have the evil manners. What are called civilised today are hypocrisy and hiding bets. It is punishable and a woman with these traits is like Hell. (Islah Inqilab. pp-45, 47) BETTER if she has religious education However, if educated women are sought then let that be religious education. This makes one perfectly civilised if one 8115 on that. Indeed, one who-has knowledge is inclined to put “11110practice sooner or later, (ibid v-2 p-47)
82 The lslami^ CONSEQUENCES OF SEEKING BEAUTY Wealth and beauty are ephemeral. Wealth deserts in j1? one night and beauty vanishes after a single illness, never come if an eye is damaged, or one gets small-pox, or loose, hair on head. Thus, the castle that was built on wealth and beaun tumbles down. The couple begin to hate one another andr becomes difficult to live together. However, if wealth at; beauty persist but religion is missing then the person lack manners, proper deeds and mutual relationship. He is unreliable because he will never observe the limits. When the partners are evil-mannered, then how can the hope to live together for long? {islah inqilab) UNDENIABLE FACT I have observed myself a woman a paragon of beaut)' and her husband rich as Korah. But he was irreligious and sis ill-mannered and indecent. As a result, they were not even® speaking terms with one another. (Islah Inqilab) IF TWO HAPPEN TO FALL IN LOVE.... If a young man and woman happen to fall in love then they should better be married to one another. (Talim udDin) A VERY BEAUTIFUL WIFE IS ALSO DANGEROUS People generally look now-a-days for a beautiful won® But, comfort and protection from mischief lies in having a "it who is not very beautiful. Though beauty is Allah's blessin- yet these days it is likely to promote mischief. Sometimes? min displeases his parents and falls head over heels in love his beautiful wife and he even distance himself from religion (Hasan ul Aziz, v-1 P 83The Islamic Marriage written that her eyesight has become weak after weeping day and night. She feels so depressed that she would have tom her garments and lost herself outside or thrown herself in a well were it not disallowed by religion. She consoles herself and can do nothing beyond weeping all the while. She married him about seventeen years ago, this being her second marriage. She must have been very beautiful then and he promised her a very comfortable life and painted a very rosy picture. Now, she is old and he does not turn to her. He even denies that she had ever served him. He is younger than her in age and this is what happens when one marries because ofbeauty, or when one marries an irreligious man. MARRYING FOR MONEY Some men look out for a rich girl. This is worse than a girl's guardian looking for a rich bridegroom because this latter might be explained as a man's responsibility to provide for his wife. In fact, it is necessary to look out for a bridegroom who can support his family, yet, if one gives it more importance than other necessary characteristics then it is wrong. Nevertheless, to seek a rich bride to benefit from her riches is very shameful on the part of the man. (Islah Inqilab p-42). THE CASE OF AN INNOCENT BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I received a letter from a very pious woman who had allegiance to me about forth years ago (as a disciple). She complained about the rude and cruel behaviour of her hush I was much pained on reading her letter. The poor worn^ SEEKING A LARGE DOWRY It is also known that a rich woman will never esteem a poor husband. She will regard him as lowly and a servant. The parents of the bridegroom seeking a bride who can bring a large dowry are really foolish. First, the dowry belong to the bride but if they hope to use it then that is very shameful greedy. Secondly, a husband may have some excuse for “sing it but his parents have no right to use any part of the dowry. Besides, when their son and his wife move out, all terhopes will be crushed. (Islah Inqilab,v2p42) DOWRY without demand However, there is no harm in giving a dowry on their own
by the girls parents without the bridegroom wishing for it, waiting for it or looking at it w This is explained through this verse. And He found you destitute, so He enriched (you).(93:8) yS- jA dlW U «!' aA* *1^! vUaJt iyjlj 5'jLaJ' «ul£ Jti US" y ji—xj bid j s •ax* J)| And it is a condition that one should not wait to receive the wealth, or look at it eagerly because the Prophet said, "Whatever comes to you without your seeking, take it. And what does not come. do not go after it. --•SSS* Ih,Xhy fc v”d="”»«Ahadith lay stress up,°" " and mention its virtues. Thus, Allah has promised that if we pray I0 him He will accept it. The Prophet said, "Prayer is a great to of worship." He also said, "One who is motivated to pray, the doors to acceptance are opened or "The doors to mercy are opened." He also said, "Only prayer can remove fawhich is decreed." lta”a" planni”8and c™on. We *“MeMvwh«h.. nL Sometimes, the for him 10 be" “and someI'mes reward is ',*i»*srpi'vs'‘i('"ER ^,P<™ge“ea’,p'a«r.o0 Th and make 'h""t Iha> """^meir"'11 ln<1>>y dJTd Tn'’' dOne- Pral and k, Wa?Waman8- 'lailer mean’s ? n,ade ■>»««„, “'mpioy S5""s-^Wie's"”1 ^’’h- of °rn men01 "larry h> vfev"y = 8e‘ “S U H1*^V‘.Ca4ef^>and trite.(Tlethe‘Ust
87 (|v)^u n h I seek your forgiveness, peace and security waning my religion and worldly life an my family and wealth.' Ubj)J la-ljjij bjb j UIjUul j Ufrli-df Jji id (ir^y "0 Allah! Bless us in our sights, in our hearts, in our spouses and in our offsprings; and accept our gl inted, you are rhe Oft-Relenting, The ®« TOM EVIL PARINE8 ■ "’*«5k ret“8e»you fr„ if *,r»» «»?’«»! for? kref“8e X, "
I X you from every hope that makes me neglectful. These prayers are found in Ahadith. They are here from Munajat Maqbul compiled by Mawlana Tha We must invoke blessing on the Prophet three times e before and after making any supplication. PRAYER OF ISTIKHARAH When a Muslim resolves to do something important k must offer two rakaat salah and make the following supplication. If he does not remember it by memory then hi may read it; if he cannot read Arabic then he may make the prayer in his own language though it is better to use the quoted Arabic words: j* jjl ♦if' J j yjJ' Y j jait cJjli — i eXLs! J /iSi' 'Aa O' T jj (t-j-i-h ~ 9^ j j J J '■& o' ? Otf cj- yjt jiitj J* 0 Allah! I beseech You for the good through Yo knowledge, and ability through Your power. An^ heg You for Your great favours, for indeed, ^oU Power and I have none and You have knowledge I have none. And, indeed, You are the All-k”0" things unseen." my 0 Allah, if You know that this matter is 8°°^ ^(s faith, for my livelihood and for the issue of w , Cn orc^a’n it for me and makes it easy f°r j$ pad ° ess me in it- But, if You know that dnsjll^ (,f .in or my faith, for my livelihood and for the 1S airs then turn it away from me and turn haveinn^- !SHKHARAH FOR MARR AJJah (hat a person K is an invisible a m that because 5h0UldheSltatethTrAHah1will choose the best thing for him. X^hXat he chooses is the only thing good for him. This is why he does not say. "If you know this matter is good for me...." The honourable Khwaja said that Istikhara is not needed lor a good thing. No, every thing can be good or bad. We can see that in the behaviour of sayyidah Zainab <ii The Met ^proposed marriage with her. She knew that he was d0ubt 111 its b'eing a L0rdh She made Isti^aST 1 C°nSult jSsrF-svx?- , lahs Punishment. n she would (8""""'^-PP.234.235) only.- Street to >»le he,Wl^o„ t.‘^We “•!s«
91 The Islamic t ------ -—^Tindoubt. And one is in doubt. U is done when < equaUy viable to the human eye.i(j both courses of acu°’ detertnined then what is the pOiM Istikharah. < . ikharah is a matter that may be either The need fo'EeJCI p-403) beneficial or harm • Qr law or in But if anything is 1 £xamples are to make Istikharah on Istikharah is not made. & lt 1S notvalidffl reality of istikharah fof lhe good. Iht It is actually a prayer s & in his doings, andfor supplicant asks Allah for goo , p Once he makes tk prevention of that which is not^cm Istikharah, he should not e omplings a..- Rather, he is at liberty to adopt o P good ‘ to prefer a course of action, and he mus good aM in that. In short, istikharah is a means f blessings. (Anfas Earn v-2 p-675) beart to is a prayer to Mtab to turn yo^ „„„« ;od £»£ adopt whether you succeed or not. In tie bstitute < will prove good either in this life through^ „iade* hereafter as reward for patience. If 1st’ 1 on rhe whole, there is no promise for g0°Ma(yHZflt The essence of Istikharah lies in abili y° pjeased good. The words *j (and cause me seek peace of heart with the action. hiS WHEN CAN IT BE BENEFICIAL rjds m Istikharah is beneficial for a suppl’can occup> ^gii of every thought. If not, than the thoughts pe 1 cause him to incline to that course of ac ' L 90 He Sels ,hich , ••“‘"‘l W»"« disa(’P“?Tbis sl'»WS thal “t'W* «®« genetical- ™S^v,ousty. the **« * “XdtJwS is meaningless- So I**« K«ra coutse of action that mig <ltah does not aim to finnly t0 the righ ,Wethe hesitancy and the heait may (Ifadflt a! Yawmiyah v-10 p-128) KF1TS OF ISTIKHARAH Therefore, the benefit of istikharah is the conviction that be granted surely to the supplicant. The difference in taring istikharah or refraining from it is that if it is strong ^effective then the supplicant will not be inclined to -elebsness (and harmful action). And this can also be known ' IskUkharah when one ponders over it but £ »promise of ModV°SeS damaging thm§s lhen there is 01ijete» no promise'of' H”"*’ Sh°Uld understand "S Wand hies SUCC6SS in lstikharah but of Visible "dbleW whether these thine. * ^ara/iM,p.215) mgs are visible and res®®
92 93 THE METHOD One may offer two rakaat salah and af supplication and pay attention to his heart (n^ that niake necessary to go to sleep. It is enough to make % just once. He must rid himself of any pre-conce^ must make lstikharah only when his heart is Ce'Ved ldea$ and pray, "O Allah ordain for me what is best" While6^ Hema! to pray in any language, the words of the Prophet^ areb^ (ibid v-3 PP4 lfl) A CONDITION Istikharah is useful only when one removes all nations from the mind that are formed before hand, otherwise tta dominate his mind and influence his decision. (al-Ifadat id Yawmiyah v-10, p-165) : CASE SPELL OR MAKE AMULET TO MARRY SOMEONE SPECIFICALLY The jurists have ruled that it is disallowed to make® amulet with the object of subjugating a husband. Sin“1^ kind of an amulet is disallowed to a married coa^[ell() marriage is also void. Further, to give such ^ves sUCh an someone is also forbidden. Even if a saint g amulet, it is a sin. (Udul ul Jami p-382) .AMULET AND SPELL CONCERNING MARRI ^ A spell may be one of two kinds.^missive- not*0, subject (say, a woman) subservient ai Whatever ■ j of think independently. This is ^//.^pted by obligatory in Shari'ah may no n is not ob spell, like marrying a particular p nt to c her30 Shari'ah. The second kind is on > ting hu*‘ ^js^' subject to do something without s^ cast wi after that a proposal may be given _ mind is allowed. (Imdad ul Fatawa v P , MARRIAGE MAY TAKE PLACE EASl One may recite after Isha bleSsings 00 hundred and eleven times invoking «i»<!ES£——'for forly days also pray '» 2ndhave this wish in Even if he gets his wish ^-n«^”P*^“b'forethe a$ ,.. Z*F ■’V -ir z E jjLill lib' -A dbj Jjjj A-4 ■>, >'• “/» jjd LlJ'j idlij/ Isjj dlU-J Write this down on the hide of a deer or a piece of paper aidputit in a closed box in the home. (Amol Qur'ani p-64. These are Qur'anic verses 20:331-132) MWANCE GUIDELINES CONCERNING MARRIAGE 1 "’Person has the sexual urge and the ability then it is xxntrkarry;howeveriftheurge isthe-but 2 7lhty then keepmg plenty of fastscu^ ““8ra>m “ pi« j Sueci(les t0 have a "*"8*1 be left f'hon, Condition nf u . S CUrsed acp alah >s verv u,
/ 94 SECTMONE OTHER GUIOEU'to 81 are not told ThRuh6r’ he tThe Hadith Says 0 the Would be divorces ms —- ...any ner again . iT* has wed another man and he has divorced h ' consummating the marriage and she has gone throu prescribed waiting period after each divorce. Halaiah bind the second husband before marriage that he divorce her immediately after marriage to beat J condition). 7. Marriage is best solemnised in a mosque so that it gets best publicity and there also is a blessing. 8. It is most disliked to Allah that husband and wife » describe their private life to other people. Many people commit excess in this matter. 9. Walimah is mustahabb (recommended). But there should not be exaggeration in it. 10. If anyone seeks your advice before marrying someoneta it is well-wishing to describe any evil in him, for that is n« backbiting. In fact, it is sometimes wajib to disclose that (Talimud^ ,g£TT)SEE THE BRIDE BEFORE MARRIAGE Hi wry necessary to ensure Hint two people who marry should be compatible with one another. So, the prospective bridegroom may also have a glimpse of the bride before their mage. Theirs is going to be a life-long company. This is feed in a Hadith, but it would be as part of finalising their cement, not with evil intent. It may be compared to a W examination of his patient to diagnose his illness. tl (Al-Ifadat al Yawmiyah v-5 0-551 lhe marriage lest I
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi
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The islamic marriage by maulana ashraf ali thanawi

  • 1.
  • 2. THE ISLAMIC MARRIAGE Sayings of Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi Compiled by Mawlana Muhammad Zayd Mazahri Nadwi «><!>■»—j English Rendering Rafique Abdur Rahman DARUL ISHAAT Urdu Bazar. Karachi-Pakistan
  • 3. Copyright Regd. No. AH Rights ofTranslation are Reserved n ith DARL L - IS!IAAT KARACHI Copyright delegated to Mohammad Asif 3 lO-.esv Meena Bazar Jama Masjid Dehli India FIRST EDITION 2009 PRINTED A T ILMI GRAPHICS PUBLISHER DARUL - 1SHAAT URDU BAZAR KARACHI-1 PAKISTAN E-mail ishaatlTLpk netso/ircom, ishaalfaycy ber net pk AVAILABLE AT MAKTABA MA ARIFUL QURAN. DARUL ULOOM. KORANGI. KARACHI PUBLISHER'S SUBMISSION The worsening of Muslim society in matters relating to marriage is touching dangerous limits. This book can play a very effective role in correcting the wrongs rampant in our society provided it is introduced to every home and its teaching are observed. Of the several books written on this subject, this book can be described as a new and important book because of its method of treatments and subject analysis. May Allah make it beneficial universally and may He make it a means of reforming the Islamic society. Ao/neen! Alii jc AVAILABLE IN U.K. AZHAR A CADEMY L TD 54-68 LITTLE ILFORD LANE. MANOR PARK. LONDON El2 5QA AVAILABLE IN U.S.A DARUL-ULOOM AL-MADANIA 182 SOBIESKI STREET. BUFFALO. NY 14212. U.S A MADRASAH ISLAMIAH BOOK STORE 6665 BINTLIFF. HOUSTON. TX-77074. USA AVAILABLE INSOUTHAFRICA AL-HUDA PUBLICATIONS 35 C ENTRAL AVE MAYFAIR 2092 JOHANFNSBL'RG. S. AFRICA
  • 4. The Islamic Marriage The Islamic Marriage CONTENTS KHUTBA-E-NIKAH Foreword *5 Publisher's submission CHAPTER ONE 29 SECTION ONE 29 Some ahadith concerning importance of marriage 29 Benefits of marriage from point of view of religion and hereafter 29 Comments 30 Warning on not marrying 30 Marriage is a form ofworship 31 SECTION TWO 31 Marriage is a dealing but not a worldly affair 31 Objectives and benefits of marriage 31 Intention behind marriage 32 Wisdom behind marriage 33 Islamic command 33 Objectives 34 Not merely eating 34 Other advantages 35 Disadvantages of an unmarried life 35 Marriage when ninety years old 36 Another case 36 Mawalana Fadlur Rahman married when one hundred years old Haji sahib's second marriage in old age Warning to the unmarried Why the warning Excuses for not marrying Ahadith on the excuses SECTION THREE The juristic command Wajib (obligatory) Fard (absolute obligatory) 36 37 37 37 38 38 39 39 39 39
  • 5. 9The Islamic Marriage Musnun (recommended) 39 Forbidden 39 Different conditions 39 What should a poor man do 40 Is a father responsible and does he commit sin by delaying his childen's marriage? 40 CHAPTER TWO 43 Concerning a wife 43 SECTION ONE Virtues of a wife The best friend Importance of women and valuing their support Wife is a great benefector Wife's sacrifice Favours of women Mismanagement without wife SECTION TWO Merit of a village woman Excellence of ill-mannered bad skilled women Old wife worth esteem A story SECTION THREE Merits of Indian women Love husbands Chastity Patience Self satisfaction Thought for husband Faithfulness CHAPTER THREE Concering widows Marriage of widow Custom ofjahiliyah Widow marriage fard Widow's marriage more necessary than a virgin's A widow needs more attention 43 43 43 43 43 44 44 45 45 45 46 47 47 48 48 48 48 49 50 50 51 53 53 53 53 53 53 54 The Islamic Marriage____________________________________ The evils of a widow not marrying 54 Marry off a window even if she is unwilling 54 No harm if an old widow with children does not marry' 55 Pressure of in-laws 55 Unlimited oppression 55 Ignorant opposition to Shariah 56 Forced marriage 56 The duties of in-laws of a widow - Islamic teachings 56 CHAPTER FOUR ON EQUALITY 59 SECTION ONE 59 Importance and wrongs ofmarrying outside 59 Standard is measured from husband's point of view 59 Marriage of unequal 60 The first kind 60 The second kind 60 The third kind 60 The fourth kind 60 SECTION TWO 61 On lineage 61 Definition 6] Wisdom in equality oflineage g| Nobility of descent isreal q Arrogance not lawful 54 Descent is from father 64 Evidence from Shariah g5 Reliability of Sayyid 55 SECTION THREE Comment on India's tables of genealogy Family trees of India Thrusted tables of genealogy How will equality work in India Equality on basis of community and tribe Genealogy and tribal links also from basis of equality today Are die Ansars and the Quraysh equals Summary 66 66 67 67 67 67 68 68 68
  • 6. 11 To look for modem education 10 The Islamic Marri; Non Arab scholar not equal to arab woman 68 A common mistake 68 SECTION FOUR 69 Equality from religious point of veiw 69 The first kind 69 The second kind 69 The third kind 70 Confirm that the groom is a Muslim 70 Verify that he does not move about with the misled 70 Marriage with a Christian or Jew woman 70 Wealth or pedigree perfered over religion 71 Why base on religion 72 Not prepare to match a religious man with an irreligious woman 72 SECTION FIVE 73 Equality in age 73 Tolerable difference 74 The girl must refuse when there is a mismatch 75 Evils of marrying young boy to an elder woman 75 SECTION SIX 76 Equality in terms of wealth 76 Should a rich girl be chosen 6 CHAPTER FIVE > 77 Choosing a partner 77 SECTION ONE Characteristics of groom Definition of a religious minded 7g A saintly person consulted a Jew 7g Selecting a groom 79 Do not choose foreigners 79 Very close relatives not preferred 79 Choose partner for girl very carefully gQ 80 80 The Islamic Marriage Better if she has religious education Consequences of seeking beauty Undeniable fact If two happen to fall in love.... A very beautiful wife is also dangerous The case of an innocent beautiful woman Marrying for money Seeking a large dowry' Dowry without demand CHAPTER SIX SECTION ONE Supplication Istikharah before marriage Effort and trust plus prayer Some etiquettes of prayer Prayer to get a good match Refuge from evil partner Prayer of Istikharah Istikharah for marriage Istikharah before resolve When is it suitable Reality of istikharah When can it be beneficial 82 82 82 82 82 83 83 83 85 85 85 85 86 86 87 88 89 89 89 90 90 The objective The time The method 91 91 92 A condition 92 Cast spell or make amulet to marry someone 92 specifically 92 Amulet and spell concerning marriage 92 Marriage may take place easily 92 That daughters may get suitable proposals 93 Importance guidelines concerning marriage 93 CHAPTER SEVEN 95 Other guidelines 95 SECTION TWO The best women What to look for in a bride
  • 7. 13 12 The Islamic sivtiox oxi 95 The Islamic Marriage Wise to see the bride before marriage 95 Caution 95 Their relationship before marriage 95 It is unlawful to imagine pleasure with a fiancee 95 Consent of both necessary 95 Consequence of neglecting opinion of the concerned 95 How to get their opinion 95 It is wrong to leave everything in their hands 97 Proposal and marriage without consulting elders 97 Nlodety is a must 97 Marriage through advertisement SECTIOX TWO 97 98 Authority of young people 98 Marrying them off without permission 98 How to get her permission 99 Who is the guardian 100 Defects of a girl's marrying herself 100 SECTION THREE Marriage should be conducted with honesty Marrying off a girl with shortcomings Marrying off to an important husband Announce the marriage Disadvantages of a secret marriage When it is necessary Who should propose CHAPTER EIGHT Ideal age Disadvantages of delaying marriage of daughters Delay because of jewellery and dowry Delay because of arranging banquet Foolish excuse about suitable match Are there fewer qualified young men Marriage in childhood is harmful Evils of child marriage Do not marry during student years 101 101 101 102 102 102 103 103 105 105 105 105 105 106 106 10? 107 107 Not when minor When do they become adults Minor may marry when necessary Early marriages better Responsibility of parents Do not marry off two children at ope time CHAPTER NINE Engagement and date of wedding SECTION ONE Reality of engagement Gathering the community These customs do not seal the engagement Sayyidah Fatimah's example Serving guests Brokerage or commission on arranging match SECTION TWO Agreeing upon date of marriage Zul Qadah is not inauspicious Marriage in Zul Qadah, Muhurrum and Safar Only sin and disobedience have an ill-augury Marriage during eclipse CHAPTER TEN The wedding Marriage ceremony and the assembly An event Who should perform the marriage Fees of solemnising the merriage When fees become unlawul Important rulings that a qadi must know Taking groom to a shrine, Garlanding the groom Reciting the kalimah Consent thrice or aameen Distributing dry dates Not dates alone Ruling of Mawlana Hangoli 108 108 108 108 109 109 111 111 111 111 111 111 112 112 112 113 113 114 114 115 115 117 117 117 117 117 117 117 119 121 121 121 122 122 122 122
  • 8. 14 CHAPTER ELEVEN Connecting the dower SECTION ONE Wisdom behind the dower Need for witnesses General trend of dower Such a one is an adulterer He is treacherous as a thief Dower should be a small amount Evidence from Shariah Blessed and easy dower Disadvantages of high dower The hadith My experience Dower that exceeds one's capacity High dower to check husband Nothing disgraceful The limits 121 121 121 12) 121 124 124 121 125 11' 11' 121 12( 121 121 121 Fatimi dower 121 A caution 121 SECTION TWO 121 An important rulingl dower in kind instead of cash 1H Dower depends on intention 1* Another important ruling It is shameful to ask one's wife to forgo her dower *• Willingness of heart is a condition, not mere write-off !• Minor wife's dower cannot be written-off Dower is a right and may be demanded Arab and Indian customs 1 Payment of dower does not discharge other duties of husband Write-off when husband is dying What should she do after his death When she is on her death bed Heirs of wife have right in her dower that must be paid to them The Islamic Marriage Rending dower does not suspend payment of zakah 132 CHAPTER TWELVE 135 About the dowry 135 Whatever a groom receives without demand and desire (and is given) with sincerity is Allah’s blessing 135 Reality and the command 135 Remember those things 136 Dowry of Sayyidah Fatimah 136 Evils of customary dowry 136 The list of dowry 136 Only ego is the driving force 137 Thief al heart 137 Kinds of ostentation 137 Land, property, field or capital for business as dowry 137 Too many clothes and garments for relatives 138 The correct dowry’ Husband cannot use what belongs to his wife without her consent Willing consent CHAPTER THIRTEEN Customary exchange of gifts Does not create love Reality of these customs The view of Shariah Nothing but a debt To give up customary exchanges of gifts will snap ties of relationship What is reasonable Paying expenses At the time of sending off the bride The command of Shariah on things given as part of custom, out of shae or pressure CHAPTER FOURTEEN The wedding procession It is a Hindu custom No need of baraat 138 139 139 141 141 141 141 142 143 145 145 145 145 146 147 147 147 147
  • 9. 17 16 Some disadvantage 1 regard the custom of procession as unlawful How then may social contacts be retained Evidence from Shariah Applicable to the affluent also National sympathy Wedding procession is a combination of sins At the bride’s home Better not to attend Evidence from Shariah The ulama and religious leaders must not attend CHAPTER FIFTEEN Some of the unlawful things during the wedding Dancing and singing Fire works Photography and filming Filming the ceremony Tambourine Singing songs Request to play music and sing songs Bands, drums and music If anyone does not heed CHAPTER SIXTEEN Marriage customs SECTION ONE What is a custom Custom and otherwise Two kinds of customs Customs, now and before Customs are sinful Evidence in Shariah of today's customs being evil Strong evidence Argments of those who favour customs Shariah stand The Islamic Marriage________________________ Burden of debt Wasteful expenditure Mawlana Muhammad Qasim's advice Waste is worse than miserliness Marriage that lacks blessings Beneficial ways to.spend on a marriage SECTION THREE Pomp and show Pomp earns bad name Not well wishers A great loss They forget salah SECTION FOUR Borrowing for the wedding Extending loan for a marriage CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Women sticking to custom SECTION ONE Women are root of all customs Ills of women's gatherings Some ills resulting from women's assemblies Adornment Serious mistake of women The Prophet's saying How to keep women away from going out Is there possibility of women going to functions Lethargy of old women SECTION TWO Men are to blame Accepted women as leaders Two people disallow observance of custom Complaint against men SECTION THREE How to eliminate customs Shariah's prescription 165 165 166 166 166 167 167 167 167 168 168 168 169 169 169 171 171 171 171 172 172 173 174 174 174 175 176 SECTION TWO Evils of custom The Islamic Marriagf 148 148 148 148 149 150 150 150 150 151 151 153 153 153 154 154 155 156 156 156 157 157 159 159 159 159 159 159 159 16® 16’ 162 163 164 163 164 177 177 177 178 178 179 • 179 179
  • 10. 1918 The Islamic Marri; Disallow all customs at once 180 He who oppose customs is a saint lgg Those who abide by customs deserve curse isq All Muslims are responsible 181 A request to women 18] CHAPTER EIGHTEEN 183 Different customs 183 SECTION ONE Closeting the would-be bride and rubbing oil on her body Rubbing the body Mixing with bridegrooms family Hiding the shoes Bride reading through the Quran Travel fare to members of the wedding procession Bride cannot alight until other women are paid Carrying the bride SECTION TW O i Washing bride's feet New bride showing too much shyness Prison for a new bride Looking at the face Next day Sweetmeat and other things on every arrival Everyone does not forbid these customs CHAPTER NINETEEN A model marriage The need to follow the Prophet's example Marriage and sending off of Sayyidah Fatimah Departure at right time Easiest deed Simplicity The simplest way An excellent example Throwing money The Islamic Marriage__________ If had daughters CHAPTER TWENTY SECTION ONE After departure Brides modest)' beyond limits Keeping aloof after marriage SECTION TWO The first night Needless shyness The ideals method Joking and being playful Man should disclose his love 193 195 195 195 195 196 196 196 196 196 197 197 183 183 184 184 184 184 185 185 185 186 186 186 186 186 187 187 187 189 189 189 189 190 190 19> 19> 19> 19? 19^ Customs in Arabia and in India 197 Writing al-Ikhlas on wife's forehead 198 Supplications 198 Fajr salah on first night 198 Homeless women on the first night 199 An exemplary event 199 CHAPTER TWENTY ONE 201 The Walimah 201 The masnun walimah 201 The limits 201 The prophet's & example 201 Sayyidina Ali's Walimah 202 Use lawful earnings 202 Inviting others to avert bad name 202 An easy way 202 Unlawul walimah 203 The worst walimah 203 Not allowed participation 203 Not allowed to take extra guestsalong 204 The feast of an interest-taker oran innovator 205 If most is unlawful 206 When in doubt 206 Some guidelines - 2q^ Accept poor man's invitation Guardian in a wedding
  • 11. 20 Placing a legal condition Arrange of the poor CHAPTER TWENTY TWO Having many wives SECTION ONE The motivating factor Another wisdom Wisdom for both in second marriage The need In the light of history Why only four wives Shari'ah has allowed more than one wife SECTION TWO Prohibition to have more than one wife When women would be unfair Only in the love of luxury Second wife not advised if not necessary SECTION THREE Difficulties in having many wives My experience Consequences of second marriage without valid reason Advice Who should take a second wife SECTION FOUR Let one be enough If the first has no child 209 209 209 209 209 210 210 210 211 211 212 212’ 212 212 213 213 213 213 SECTION FIVE Necessary rulings As companions in journey A separate home SECTION SIX Method of living with two wives Pattern for the husband Pattern for the first wife 214 215 215 215 215 215 216 2j6 211 211 218 21’ The Islamic Marriage Pattern for the new wife 21 220 CHAPTER TWENTY THREE Injunctions about private relationship SECTION ONE There is reward on approaching one's wife What should be his intention Approaching the wife How much of one another may they see Forbidden to think of another woman Prayers and zikr Prescribed prayers No limit is saintly Neither harm nor against taqw'a The Prophet’s & sahabah's life Consideration of health is essential Observatant Harmful effects Imam Ghazali's saying Limits to sexual intercourse with wife Interval in days Harmful effects of medicine Practice moderation Diseases Guidelines When it is necessary to have cohabitation Guidelines for women SECTION TWO when she menstruates Limits during her menses Different ruling Expiation Kaffarah Ruling Intercourse during istihadah Approaching during post child birth bleeding First child and nifas lasts for thirty days 221 221 221 221 221 221 222 223 223 223 224 224 225 226 226 226 227 227 227 227 228 228 228 229 229 230 230 230 231 232 232 232 232 232 233
  • 12. 22 The Islamii Oeverpowering desire while wife has menses SECTION THREE Care when wife is pregnant Only from medical point of view Having intercourse with woman who suckles Preventing pregnancy Abortion SECTION FOUR Homo sexuality and the unnatural act Unnatural sex with one's own wife CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR Purification SECTION-ONE Why no sexual intercourse with menstruating woman and why bath after impurity Wisdom in bath after discharge of semen Secret of bath after sexual intercourse Other benefits SECTION-TWO Bathing place and condition The masnun method of bath Zikr or prayer Conversing during bath Washing of visible portion is enough Need not untie hair Some etiquettes SECTION-THREE When bath becomes wajib Some important rulings When bath is not fard Ruling on ihtilam Very thin mazi or mani SECTION-FOUR Injunctions for those on whom bath is fard Summary of injunctions The Islamic Marriage__________________________________________________- Disliked to clip nails and cut hair before bath 247 If there is likelihood of getting sick from water 248 While trvelling 249 SECTION-FIVE 249 Shari‘ah's command on leukorrhea 249 Summary 250 Who is the handicapped and excude 250 Glossary 253
  • 13. FOREWORD A.11 people of the world irrespective of their religion and sex do face the question of marriage in their lives. It is this issue that causes worn to everyone today whether he is poor or rich man or woman. This is the most worrying aspect of human life. While the poor are crushed under the burden, the rich too are not much better off. However. Islam has described marriage as the simplest of deeds. The Prophet and the Sahabah showed us how simple it is with their practical example. But. today, it is the most difficult affair. While marriage is a happy occasion. today it has become a sad problem. How many young girls base committed suicide! And how many parents lose their temper when a girl is borne to them! How many men have divorced their wives for that reason! Birth of a girl in these times is a trial and a calamity! And when any of them is given the glad tidings of (birth of) a female, his face becomes darkened and he is wroth inwardly.” <16 58> Today, we are facing nearly the same situation that the disbelievers had faced before the rise of Islam. Today's marriage destroys families. Choosing a spouse, setting a standard for that, preparing dowry' for the daughter, pleasing different people, entertaining them, observing difficult customs and pouring money over that liberally - these are essential to every marriage today. The poor have no means to do that but even the affluent are not without worry, the only reason for this predicament is that we ignore and throw away the guidance of Islam and the teaching of Shari'ah in this regard and overlook the example of the Prophet and the Sahabah
  • 14. 26 27 -———and Sahabiyat No one ever looks at the pT" directive for marriage and how the Prophet « condu^ himself. Once the religion is perfected: and it is noi concerned with worship but also encompasses dealings a- social behaviour, how can a religious minded Muslim igno^ its directives? Religion is not simply to observe salah ai„ fasting, rather marriage, too. is a form of worship and, religious affair. The Prophet practice has to be emulatedt conducting weddings too. The Islamic Marriage___________________________ May Allah approve this selection and make it a means of reforming and guidance ofthe Ummah. Aameen! (Mufti) Muhamad Zajd Muiahari Madam Certainly you have in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern (of conduct) <33 21 thalT°c^"eryonc “ WOrned because Pa“Cr" and repla“d »Hh innovami ms an practices. As a result we had forsaken our relieitt and have even destroyed our worldly affairs. The Ulama have written many books on this subject. Tte collection, The Islamic Marriage, throws detailed intelligc' light on every aspect of marriage. You will find an in-# discussion on marriage, its benefits, Islamic injuncm1 choosing spouses, the grooms party, dowry cusus walimah, and almost every other connected matter. collection is actually a selection from Mawlana 1 , saying, sermons and writing. J have taken great pains w and compile them. 1 have hope in Allah that he will (|). selection the most comprehensive and bend 1 J ■' subject, and whosoever observes this mode of £, marriage will, Insha Allah, find peace in this J> L reward in die next. ^ey Even non-Muslims will gam peace in this IH‘- ol)e •• by this book. This book must be introduced 11 ’ )aIiguJ- every home. It must be translated into diit*-1 u Insha Allah that will give much benefit. J
  • 15. CHAPTER ONE SECTION ONE SOME AHADITH CONCERNING IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE 1. Sayyidina Abu Najib reported that Allah’s Messenger & said, "When one of you possesses the means to marry but does not marry then he has nothing to do with me." (Targheeb) 2. Sayyidina Anas reported the saying of Allah's Messenger S?, "When a person marries, he or she perfects half of the religion. Now, he must fear Allah in (the remaining) half religion." (Targheeb) 3. Sayyidina Abdullah ibn Masud reported that Allah’s Messenger said, "O group of young men! Whoso among you can support a family must marry because marriage is very effective in lowering the gaze and it preserves them from immorality. For him who does not have the means, he must choose to keep fasts, for, the fast is for him like suppressing sexual desire." ----- iMishiai) ilrndad ul Falawa v2 p 258) BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE FROM POINT OF VIEW OF RELIGION AND HEREAFTER 4. Ibn Abu Najib reported that Allah’s Messenger said. He is needy! Needy! The man who has no wife." He was asked, "Even if he is very rich?" He said, "Yes, even if he has much wealth. And she is needy, needy! The woman who has no husband. He was asked, "Even if she is wealthy?" He said, "Yes, even if she is wealthy." (Razin) This is because neither of them has comfort and peace which is the objective of wealth. In marriage there is much benefit in religious and worldly life. (Hayat ul Muslimeen. p 187)
  • 16. 30 The Islamic Marriage A married person is safe from sin and his heart is at test Most of all. he also gains reward because if a husband and wife sit together and exchange conversation in an atmosphere of love, and they joke together then that is better than offering optional salah. Zewar 5. Sayyidah Ayshah '~c- narrated that the Prophet s said. "Marry women! They will bring you wealth." (Bazar, COMMENTS When both husband and wife are intelligent and well wishers of one another, the husband will realise that his responsibilities have multiplied and will work harder while his wife will make arrangements that he cannot do to relieve hut of worry and give him comfort. This is tantamount to bringing wealth. (Hayat ul Muslimeen) 6. Sayyidian M'aqil ibn Yasar -in reported that the Prophet ££ said, "Marry women who are prolific, for, 1 will take pride in your larger numbers over other people (Abu Dawood. Xasai Hayat ul Muslimea WARNING ON NOT MARRYING 7. Sayyidina Abu Zarr ^>j reported in a lengthy Hadi? that Allah's Messenger ££ asked Akkaf ._*• Areva married?" He said, "No!" The Prophet said. "Andya are a man of means, wealthy?" He confirmed that he was The Prophet said, "In that case, you are among th! devil's brethren. If you were of the Christian then ya could have been their monk." "Indeed, to marry is to follow our path. The worst of ya are those who do not marry. The worst of those who die, d« before they marry. Do you lean towards the devil? The de' has no better weapon than women to entrap the righteous. B^ those who have married are very pure and safe frof indecency. O Akkaf, woe to you! Get yourself marrit- otherwise you will stay behind. "(Ahmed - Imdad ul Fatawa, v2p-‘ The Islamic Marriage 31 MARRIAGE IS A FORM OF WORSHIP If Shari‘all enjoins anything, or encourages one to do it or promises reward thereon, then that is religion. If anything lacks these things then that is a worldly affair. On this basis, marriage is a religious affair because Shari'all has emphasised upon it under certain circumstances and encouraged it in others and observed reward for that, and has criticised abstinence from it. This is why the classifications of marriage created by the jurist do not have but all classes as binding and superior than voluntary worship though in some cases they may be undesirable because of some hindrance. (ibid) SECTION TWO MARRIAGE IS A DEALING BIT NOT A WORLDLY AFFAIR Fasting is undoubtedly a religious matter. In certain circumstances, it calls for punishment too of which the usulis (fundamentalists) have explained in the fast of expiation. Nevertheless, there is no touch of the world in it. Similarly, if marriage is a deal then too how can it be said to be worldly? Rather, punishment is more distant to worship than a deal is. So'When punishment coupled with worship could not make it worldly than how will dealings coupled with worship make it worldly? (Imdad ul Fauma v2p26B) OBJECTIVES AND BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE Allah has said in the Qur'an: fz .ZZ /Jzz . z.z Az— He created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them. And He has put love and mercy between you. (30;21) ^And He said:
  • 17. 32 The Islamic Mattia The Islamic Marriage 33 Your wives are a tillage for you. (2: 223) 1. A wife gives peace and comfort and shares her husbanc problems. Man is instinctively inclined to friendship ai love and a wife is ideal for that. Woman is a unique creation. She is responsible to delht children and look after the house. She is a great support. 5 shows mercy to her. She guards your property and childit and your honour in your absence. 2. Man is naturally inclined to sex. Nature has placedL satisfaction in his wife. Allah has said that she is a tillii for her husband where he may sow his seed. Just as e has to attend to his fields, so too a husband has to attend, her, and he may find satisfaction in her. 3. The desire man and woman have for one another is huE instinct which they attain through marriage. That grov true love and pure thoughts. But if it is satisfied thrag unlawful ways, it takes man to impurity and evil thougir Thus, marriage is a means of taking man to purity a away from impurity. (Al-MasaUh al Aqliyah p!92) INTENTION BEHIND MARRIAGE 4. We know from the Qur’an that marriage promotes chastr righteousness, health and lineage. The main aim marriage is what Allah has mentioned the Qur’an. "Mar that you may be righteous and pray that you have pi* children. In wedlock and not in licence (4 : 24) 5. And he said: Seek what Allah has prescribed for you (2: 187) 6. When he marries, a man binds himself and works hard to earn a livelihood for himself. He shirks from doing unnecessary work. The qualities of love, modesty, and faithfulness are found in him and he lives a very simple life shunning extravagance. He thus is protected from many diseases. 7. Marriage is good for health. It gives peace and comfort. It is pleasing and improves life in both worlds. 8. There is nothing better than marriage for a better culturous life. It is the root of patriotism. If this were not introduced among men, life would have been lonely and there would not have been homes and gardens nor signs of a people. (Al-Masalih al Aqliyah). WISDOM BEHIND MARRIAGE If a person is not afforded a proper means to satisfy sexual impulse then there would be corruption and shamelessness because he or she will seek satisfaction from every available means. This is why Shari'ah has proposed marriage, and it shows that Shari'ah is more well-wishing than intelligence which could never tolerate the meeting of two complete strangers in an intimate relationship. But if intelligence was obeyed then there would have been mischief all round, for, there would have followed innumerable intimate relationships. Men and women would have given up patience and thrown aside caution. This is why Shari’ali proposed marriage and this is the sign of the religion being heavenly, for it has its eyes on consequences. (Huquq uz Za^jayun) Thus intelligence regards modest) marriage as immodest. But the Propher # prescribed marriage to protect modesty. If it is given up once then all humanity will become shameless. (Huquq uz Zawjayn) ISLAMIC COMMAND According to the Hadith:
  • 18. 34 The Islamic Marriafc 35 U J "He who has the means must marry because it protects the eyesight and chastity." It is a strong possibility that chastity is available easily toa sound disposition through marriage. We do not talk of evj| dispositions who do not get chastity after a marriage or ever after four marriages and even after Mutah and adultery. Wt talk of human beings, not of animals and monkeys, (ibid) OBJECTIVES And of His sign is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves that you may find repose in them. And He has put love and mercy between you.(30:21) In short, women are created that your hearts may fiK peace through them. I say that youth is the time of love wte both have strong emotion and old age is the time c! compassion. In old age none besides a wife can be of help. (Nasratun Nisa. Huquq uz Zanytni NOT MERELY EATING The foolish say that marriage is merely to eat and drink t that was so then the rich would abstain from marriage, b» even daughters of kings do marry. Thus, there are othe- objectives of marriage. The biggest objective of marriage is to procreate. H* Prophet ££ said; (•--------J-5y-1' ; "Marry such woman as is prolific and more lovable because on the-Day of Resurrection, I w ill take pride in your large numbers." (ibid) OTHER ADVANTAGES Just as dress is an adornment for men and women, so too man and woman are adornments for one another. If a married man requests for a debt, he will get It because he is not alone and cannot run away, but a single man Is not trusted. People are not apprehensive of a married man having evil intentions on their wives and daughters. But they do not trust an unmarried man. Similarly, a married woman is more respected than an unmarried woman who is more prone to blame. (Rata al Iltibas p-45). DISADVANTAGES OF AN UNMARRIED LIFE Thus, when marriage is like a garment then to stay unmarried is to remain naked. Thus, one may say that unmarried life is defective if the concerned have the ability to marry. (Haquq az Zawjayn) When a person needs to marry yet does not then that would cause much mischief. Temptations would abound and worship would lack savour and interest. Some people give in to temptation and go to women. Others who protect their outward sanctity keep away from women but fall prey to young boys, which is a greater mischief because women are, after all, allowed in marriage while homosexuality is absolutely unlawful. Some people are safe from illegal sex but fall into the introductory doings like kissing, caressing, and so on. They bracket such doings with elderly compassion. We seek refuge in Allah from mischief, the apparent and the hidden. (Islah Inqilab, p-4l). Some people do not marry although they have a need to it and the ability to support. Some refrain totally and some after the death of their spou$£. When need and ability are present then it is obligatory to marry. (ibid)
  • 19. 36 The Islamic Marriage MARRIAGE WHEN NINETY YEARS OLD A qian in Shahjahanpur married at the age of ninety years. His sons, daughters and daughters-in-law demurred and asked him, "Why do you need to marry when we are here to sene you? He said, "You do not understand. None can comfort asa wife may." Suddenly, he fell ill. He had acute dysentery and a pungent, unbearable odour surrounded him. His home was filled with the stench. None of his sons and daughters came near to him. They detested him and deserted him to stay apan from him. Only his wife served him in this plight though she was a newly-wed and young. She made him sit while he relieved himself, washed and cleaned him and washed his garments too though this happened twenty to twenty-five times a day. She then made him lie down. The old man said. "Thisis why 1 had married." When he recovered, he sent for his children and said, "Did you see how you served me? If 1 had I not married, I would have rotted in the stench.' Indeed, daughters and daughters-in-law cannot nurse a sick father as a wife can. Allah has placed this comfort only in the husband-wife relationship. This is the worldly comfort fromi wife. (At-Tabligh, v-3 p-146) ANOTHER CASE A Man who married was weak and managed w ith tonics. A physician prescribed a heavy dose that had counter - indications in the shape of leprosy. Everyone stayed away from him. M his wife served him loyally. What a sacrifice and love! Bit does the husband value her for that? (Haquq uz Zawjayn, pp-161, 552, Al-lfadat Yowmiyahp# MAWALANA FADLUR RAHMAN MARRIED WHEN ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD When his first wife died, Mawlana Fadlur Rahman &v *-U married at the last stages of his life at the age 100 ye^ He was incapacitated with ulcer and only a wife could attend11 him. The kind woman took care of him with a smiling The Islamic Marriage__________________________________________________ 37 She cleaned his wound many times during the day and night. (ibidp-533, Al-Tabligh v-4p-147) HAJI SAHIB's SECOND MARRIAGE IN' OLD AGE The respected Haji Sahib * Uj-j took a second wife in his old age because his respected first wife became sightless. He married that his new wife might look after him. Indeed, she served him and her co-wife too. These cases show that a wife is not taken merely to satisfy the sexual urge but there are Other reasons too. (Nusrat un Nisa, p-553). WARNING TO THE UNMARRIED According to a Hadith. w—li (If anyone who has the urge and the ability to support does not marry then he is not on our path). For, he walks on the path of the Christians who regard marriage as a hindrance to the approach to Allah, and abstain from it. They consider celibacy as an act of worship. (Malfuzal Ashraliyah, p-386) Those who regard a life of celibacy as worship actually have a monk's belief and create an innovation in religion. Slum'ah's command to marry is the real thing and to neglect it is not worship. (Islah Inqiiab v-2 p-40) WHY THE WARNING When it becomes necessary to wed, neglect may cause much mischief because there may be a severe urge or an absolute urge which cannot be suppressed even after taking medicine for it. There was a seventy year old man who loved a young boy. He was a spent force but he had an urge to look at the boy with sexual inclinations which is surely forbidden. A mujahidah (a strenuous exercise for that) cannot eliminate the urge. In fact, it cannot be removed by old age, medicine or reduction in diet. Only mujahidah can bring it down to a low level so that it becomes easier to control. If the urge is totally eliminated, how can there be a reward for that? One gets reward for fighting the urge and engaging in pious work steadfastly. iHuquq u: Zawjayn, p-158)
  • 20. 38____________________________________________________ The Islamic Marriage EXCUSES FOR NOT MARRYING If anyone has an excuse (because of which he cannot marry) then he does not come under the purview of the above mentioned Hadith. The excuse may be physical or monetary. Or, it may be a valid religious excuse. The former kind is obvious while the latter is reflected in weakness after marriage so that he cannot attend to religious duties properly. (Or, he may not be able to give rights of his wife because of his occupation in religious duties). (Al-Malfuzat Ashrqfiyah. p-386) If a man would be unable to give rights of his wife whether it is physical or monitory then it is forbidden for him to mam (Islah Inqilab. p-il AHADITH ON THE EXCUSES Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah? Messenger said, "A time will come for the people when 2 man's destruction will be at the hands of his wife, parents and children. They will rebuke him on his poverty and helplessness, and will demand such things as he cannot provide. So, he will do such things as will harm his religion and he will be destroyed." According to Abu Saeed, a man brought his daughter to th: Prophet and said that she refused to marry anyone. He said to her, "Obey your father (concerning marriage)." She said "By Him who has sent you with the true religion, 1 will nt marry till you tell me the rights of a husband over his wife The Prophet & mentioned them and she submitted, " B; Allah, I will never marry!" He said, "(When women haw authority of Shari'ah), do not marry them without their permission." The first Hadith mentions the excuse for men and th; second mentions women's excuse<or not marrying. She migh not be able to give him his rights, so the Prophet £> excused her. Similarly, if a widow fears that her children might be p^1 in jeopardy if she marries another man then according to* Hadith she too is excused. (Hayat ul Muslimeen, p-132) The Islamic Marriage' SECTION THREE THE JURISTIC COMMAND IVAJ/B (OBLIGATORY) When there is an impulsive urge and sufficient means are available even so that he can support on a day-to-day basis then it is wajib (obligatory) for him to marry. Neglect will be sinful. FARD (ABSOLUTE OBLIGATORY) And if he has the means and an unrepulsive urge that might plunge him into unlawful sex then it is fard (an absolute obligation) to marry. u£Ju fijjJi wWJi j (Unlawful sex includes the forbidden glance and masturbation). Ml'SNUN (RECOMMENDED) If it is not necessary and the means are available then it is sunnah to marry. FORBIDDEN However, if he is not likely to give the rights of a wife then though he may have the urge and the means, it is certainly disallowed for him to marry. DIFFERENT CONDITIONS If he has the urge but not the means then there are different opinions about that, but I prefer the ruling that it is wajib. He can work hard to earn a livelihood or borrow money with a firm resolve to repay and try his best to do it. If he fails to repay in spile of his effort then Allah might induce the creditor to forgive him because he had married to protect his religion. However, it is not allowed to borrow for unnecessary reasons. He is allowed to borrow only to provide sustenance and to pay the dower if it is a prompt dower. (Islah Inqilab v2pp-39-40)
  • 21. 40 The Islamic Mamas WHAT SHOULD A POOR MAN DO A man came to me. He had a tremendous sexual urge to marry but he was poor and had no means to marry. He sought a remedy. Before I could say anything, a man (an Ahl Hadito said, "Keep fasts, here is a Hadith that prescribes it." The mat protested. "1 have observed fasts too but that did not help' The other man had no answer. I asked him, "How many fasts did you keep?" 1 made sure that the other should hear us. He said, I kept two fasts." I said. "This is why you did not succeed because you should fast fa many days and this is what the Hadith says, suggesting compulsion through (ala). Compulsion is of rec kinds, in belief and in practice. Here, it cannot be the fomr kind, for fasting itself is not fard but a remedx. It in compulsory practice which has to be often repeated. Thus, if anyone does something again and again, and abundantly them is understood that he has bound himself to it. Thus, the Propte meant that he should keep many fasts." It is known fro: experience that a few fasts are not enough to curb the animl instinct. This is why worshippers do not feel weak in the ear) days of Ramadhan but become feeble tow ards the end of tie month. Thus, the animal instinct does not subside in early Ramadhan but becomes stronger, on the contrary; gradually at the days wear off, it becomes weaker. By that time there ha« been plenty of fasts. (Al-lfadat al-Yawneiyah, i-9 p-165. v-JOp-Z- IS A FATHER RESPONSIBLE AND DOES NE COMMIT SIN B' DELAYING HIS CHILDEN'S MARRIAGE? Question: is there a firm command to marry daughters off Is it sinful to delay their marriage? If so, how much? Give answer in the light of the Qur'an and Hadith. Answer: The command is stressed in the Qur'an and also found in the Ahadith in a general way and both sonsT daughters are included, also it applies to daughters particular The'lslamic Marriage________________ And wed the'spouseless among you..... (24-32) (to the end of the vers) The spouseless may be a virgin or a widow, an unmarried man or a widower. As for ahadith, we find in Miskkat in the chapter observing Salah early in its period. ijbjJ'j CJ tjl HLoh ls_>_i—i Y' wAV b Jlj 2% jl (jju/'i'jj) I4J oJ-rj tit (hIHj Oj____a>-'3i 1. The Prophet & Said. "0 Ali! There are three things that you must not postpone:Salah when its time comes, a funeral when it is ready, and the marriage of a spouseless boy or girl when a suitable match is found. ” (Tirmizi) • d Al; Jy-M JU JU ^t-f. y 4*ii ujti uh j id jii aj-j sJj • 1. 1jU 2, The Prophet said, "One who has children must give them a good name, impart them teaching and training and when they are of age marry them off. If he does not marry them off and they commit a sin then the sin will be on the father. ” itjjJi jji JU & dll J tkxJi j ♦hi uh t^jy ^1 3. The Prophet # said, "It was written in the Torah t , . , U1C <orah that if anyone s daughter turns twelve years of aee and h„ au ■ « ’ dge and he did not marry her off and she committed a sin • father" " Sin Wll) on her
  • 22. The Islamic Mg«| These narrations are evidence of the emphasis. Neflet'r an emphasised command attracts punishment. The concluj- Khadith di^lose the size of the sin The father will earn; according ;o the nature of his children's sin. (Inuhul al Fatawa CHAPTER TWO CONCERNING A WIFE SECTION ONE VIRTUES OF A WIFE Allah has made marriage such a relationship that no one other than a wife can make a man's life comfortable. Sometimes, all relatives display contempt in illness but a wife will never desert her husband. She is the most comforting to her husband in his illness. (at-Tabligh, v-14p-146) THE BEST FRIEND There can, never be a greater friend in the world than a wife. In time of poverty and hardship, all show their backs, even parents, but a wife always stays by the side of her husband. The same is experienced in illness. So, there is no friend of man like his wife in the world. (Huquq ul Bayt, p-22) IMPORTANCE OF WOMEN AND VALUING THEIR SUPPORT Women have a particular effect through their service. They sene like slaves. If they serve after realising their greatness then they would go to great heights. Indeed, men are dependent on them, otherwise, men would know how they stand. The Prophet & said, "Three things are dear to me: (women, scent and miwak (toothbrush of twig)." Their doings and personality are worth considering. The Prophet's & liking them was not out of lust. (Malhuzal Jadid Malfuzat, p-28). WIFE IS A GREAT BENEFACTOR Women have a right because they are helpless and another right because they are friendly to their husband. We have seen
  • 23. 4544______________________________________________________ The Islamic Marr,* that the right of a friend is greater. A wife is cMeeniable because she helps protect religion a evil thoughts Thus, she is a great benefactor. The religio. minded value her favour and she must be given esteem and It nght». must be given to her. for. she has some cliaractensiL each of which has many rights. (Al-Tabligh v-14, p-141, 149) IH x SACRIFICE Xo matter what kind of a wife she is. slovenly or rude, d ha* left her parents and family for you. She has only youi Mghl. only her husband to count on. So, human natun demands that such a faithful one should not be hurt (ibid p-5?) Thus, if her husband has a dispute with her parents r other relatives, she generally sides with her husband. In spin of that some husbands commit excess on them. They treat liter worse than slaves and some do not even give them food an clothing. (Majalis Hakim ul Ummah p-112. Al Tabligh -14p-Hi F AN Of RS OF WOMEN I say that if a wife does not work at home but merely supervises and administers the working then this is enough for. such a work fetches large salary in the world. At administrator is given great respect. Look at a viceroy. Hi does nothing. He has an army of servants at his command wk are answerable to him, and because of his responsibility, I* earns a large salary and respect. Wives too have a similf position that cannot be compensated with merely provision. Bl­ ue see noble daughters doing household chores with their o» funds. They raise children with devotion. The paid nurse c* never equal a wife in such work. (Huquq uz Zawjayn p-149) A MawIawi (religious leader) used to say that it is «>•' for women to cook food. But, I do not agree with him and take my cue from tins verse (30.21) (Already translated, sec-2 chap-1). Thus, women J . -tiled to please you not to cook for you. (ibid p-551) MISMANAGEMENT WITHOl T WIFE A house cannot be managed properly without a wife. Man's work is only to earn a living and only women can give the home life. There are many rich men who had not married. • their homes were in bad shape. One may employ cooks and servants, but he cannot get the comfort which evades him without a wife A paid cook can walk out suddenly and he will have no sympathy for his master while a wife will never leave her husband in the lurch. Besides, servants will work more efficiently if a wife is there The nannys and other servants will not pilfer much when a woman supervises over them, but without her the house will be in doldrums. However, if a man has some experience of household chores then the servants are more organised but not as much as a woman would disciplined them. (At Tabligh, v-14 p-148) Indeed, your wives work for you against the maintenance you provide them, but no servant would work as much if he were given a like amount in salary. Some unmarried people who had employed servants spent much of their salary in housekeeping which came down when they married. (Haquq uz Zawjayn, p-149) SECTION TWO MERIT OF A VILLAGE WOMAN The women of villages are ill -mannered and dumb and unskilled But their good quality is that they are not cunning or fraudulent, and they are very’ chaste and pure. (Malfuzat Khabrat v-3 p-35) The Qur‘an speaks of the merits of women oujjt c/AiUdi inaive and believing women)1. This means that unawareness of outside affairs is the distinction of women. The verse could also mean unawareness of indecency, not total lack of knowledge But, though this quality is also desired in men, yet
  • 24. 474f> The Islamic Mam* it is cvprv-.wcd hoi, in praise of women. not men This stwwi that total absence of knowledge too is more suitable in women TTx . ".worths then dare to advocate giving up of the veil in the name ol advance and progress. Amazing waste matter lies tn their minds' of i'awmiyah v-1 p-141). h she possesses all kinds of skill but lacks modesty then she is everything but a woman. This is a necessary quality for marriage Here excellences are meaningless if she is immodest (Islah Inqilab, p-47i Indeed, most women of India arc such as know no more of the world than their own corner. This is their greatness that fits the description that Allah has made in verse: De l< Mtnugf they keep themselves in bad shape, unadorned and do ■i know the art of moving about and conversation or of 'viking after children, but just one trait, chastity, overshadows all these shortcomings. I am much satisfied with such women. They are not pretenders and this is a gem which we must valued (Nusranm Msa) It is my experience that the woman who lacks skill of management is chaste If anyone is worried about such a mman then he must recall this gem of quality in her so that his heart will be at peace. This is what the Qur'an teaches. The chaste, naive, believing women o Since Allah praises women's innocence and unawareness, so indeed that is good. But there is no good in what you propose Experience will disclose it. The women of India do have the qualities the Qur'an prescribes for women. (Huquq ul Bayt. p-44 I XCELLENCE OF ILL-MANNERED BAD SKILLED WOMEN Someone lamented that lack of skill in some women hurts their husbands at times. Their dumbness is an excellence that is very dear and esteemed because it grows in them chastity Unchaste women are always occupied in their make-up outward show and neatness. Similarly, some women are rude and quick-tempered, but1 do not doubt their chastity in the least. Unchaste women W themselves sweet and polished and have an outward civili5^ approach. This is dangerous. They are cunning and tl>{' conceal their mischief as a cat hides her excretion and d’f' deceive man I am not pleased with such women. As for uns»..i,cd women, one may find their dumbness disagree* Then it is quiet likely that you dislike something and Allah has placed in it a lot of good. (4 : 19) (Majalis Hakim ul Ummat, p-11) 011)Hire WORTH ESTEEM Some people despise an old wife though they themselves have worn her out. Mawlana Fadi ur Rehman said, ’’An old wife becomes a nanny. In the beginning, she is sweet and pleasing but it is in the end that the advantages multiply, for, she is affable and helpful. These are more worthy benefits than pleasure. I always say that youth is the time to love when both parties are emotional while old age is the time to show compassion. Indeed, no one but a wife is helpful in old age. The wife of Mawlana Muhammad Mazhar U* Ju U»-j, teacher at Madrasah Mazahir ul Uloom had grown old, but he was so devoted to her that when she had minor ailments too, he would take leave from the Madrasah to nurse her with his own hands. He did not leave that to the maid servants. (at-Tabligh v-14, p-142, Huquq uz Zawjayn pp-355 and 550). A STORY There was a rich man from England. He was influential in got eminent circles. His wife died and the Collector paid him a visit to condole with him. The rich man commented in broken
  • 25. « 1K ulatTnt22% <H „,un.x mv "»<• llldccii- slR ni> a'»ma' y , M l«A ■»"’ * '**’’ " "’ """"’Cl -X > ' ,, dnnk' He wept while lie said that. uW| »atet to unnk 11V • This wai a European, not much educated He soke „ Mniplkth But 1 read with my own eyes the statement Hundu leader. 'She is not my wife but my mother.’* eduuted nun said that. This is not something to boast abou Hower. 1 do say that only a wife is helpful in old age. (Nusramn Nisa - Malfuz, p-5Ji SECTION THREE MERITS OF INDIAN WOMEN LOVE. HVSBANDS I always say that Indian women are angles, not in beaut but in manners. They have many merits. (at-Tahligh, p-51) They are maids of Paradise who are described as (lovers of their husbands). They endure the hardsht men cause them otherwise there would be divorces everyday happens elsewhere. The Arabs are the foremost in this regards I found a twenty one year old girl who had married the sevent ume. There, women do not hesitate to approach the judge* flimsy grounds who is always sympathetic to women to di'1 • her. hi India, however, no woman tolerates divorce, but if” is concerned into seeking divorce then she is not happ) *’ “ or instance, a woman in Kanpur filed a suit aga>'1-sl usband and the judge upheld her plea and ordered the hu* hvst?°rCH l'er ^ugh she had requested it, yel slie j • ncally on being divorced, crying, "I have pe'" 'H^uzZawjayn,p.150) *omen '°'C °f busband runs in the veins of CHASTITY quality of chastity calls to mind the ()1e Qur'an d,„« of restraining glances whom Indeed, Indian women surpass all other women in these ehancterista. Some men are ugly, but their wives do not cast a look at anyone else. They keep themselves within their homes, but even those Indian women who go out of homes are often pure and chaste. They lower their gaze and veil themselves and do not even greet anyone on the way They are .« ^”7” llS“ W”re fema,e s,ran8ers and old ^"'•^i^IrXXiXd-'‘'’'h h°meS- Perl,aPS a K*1' l°W b“ are i„ me" husbands and e not incline ^^’"^^""er eu^ma"besides ‘C?’ m "*y le>™ of 2 ‘^'ion f0 Ma't es’ his wid ° sotti er peculiar n- PecUJlar CUItu'e is a °w burns n 6nis from to the ?di"fe lina'i<>n f rhu*and ' X, 'Ns,) % is . But ,h . ' ^>0
  • 26. 50_____ m **•m’We tl,»nvi*c iiM hUsh.wd. tm-TnMigh. v-14, WJ|) """'tiu. « nW like Arab '™'"en *» (hints- The Indian wmu-n tremble lt ,k "A"n< C’ ns Ben If they are put to death, (hey will noip, wx might talk among themselves as is their habH ’X" w®h * authon?! 01 C™T'w* ^7nv.3MO»l® "°w “*,1K"- bUI' ra0SI 01 d’“ 'ixwwneiola.. «. W-l”»> si t f satisfaction Those Arab women or Indian women of princely state, who approach the courts get their husbands to apportion then allowances or divorce them. In the latter case, they hasten to claim their dower. In some countries, the dower is paid on marriage promptly It is only the Indian women who forgive the dower and endure without a regular maintenance allowance. k (ibid, v-14 p-141 ■ In Arabia, women demand their dowry from their husband by coercion but this is considered very bad in India. The lndnn women do not bring the name dower on their tongues, and th forgive it when their husbands die. (ibid, v-7 p-51). THOl GHT FOR Hl'SBANI) Thus, Indian women are free of defect. They ha'e merits. They are so devoted to their husbands that the) quarrel with their husband, cry and argue but only s0 L “ they have nothing to do. But, the moment a husband is they become submissive. Immediately, they will g‘' everything personal and serve him unflinchingly not c • or their own food and drink and sleep. They throw the'1 10 sene him. I wm. m Cri day life l00, they behave with the salllL .jop ™ No wonu M h’ nKal before her 11USW»« him ta bos, food. The Indian women marry, t nfcf”"1IK!e [ht„ "'™nL'FSS Class all Other women. Once they m^teXhtemselvesto .heir husbands to the extent of P*™, them over their own parents. They generally take the side of their husbands. If a husband is poor, his wife will toil hard and earn to feed her husband. The Indian woman willingly waits for her husband even if he goes missing for fifty years. When he returns, he will find his wife exactly as he had left her. (at Tabligh v-3 p-59) ll,ey haVe 10 Wek dlW“ « hmenton gening it. V h“stand' <hey would weep l This is very worthwhile ..... .. ,vij woruiwntie among women that they love their husbands. Then, does this behaviour call for mistreating them? Or, that they should be separated?
  • 27. CHAPTER THREE COHERING WIDOWS MARRIAGE of widow Ilis because of ignorance that people look down upon a uido« marrying again. In fact, some people are so savage that if a fiance dies, his fiancee will remain unmarried all her wife. As for a widow, she generally has to give up thought of a ‘•econd marriage whether she is a child, a teenager or older (han dial. 'r ';,enin810 “"worzuiuaj ffSsySSS:?.*---41 dead man's asse[s ’e Same custom nreva? hlS Wealth "Mas° could? 'rst- FOr ■ a§e is ak >ei h "eca (W/ Inqilab, v-2 p-32)
  • 28. 55
  • 29. --------- ~^U^EMar example, a husband died leaving nothing. His up with their daughter-in-law and want her to go av'^ 3re fc<l maintains that she belongs there and will not go to butshe Each side wrongs and oppresses the other. ' Parents. IGNORANT OPPOSITION TO SHARIAH someone. (»' ^jM,hah' p‘384) 57 After the iddah, In short, the ignorant regard their daughter-in-law as th properly. The in-laws over rule the girl's parents and iniagi™ it is their right. So, this is the first sin. They hinder the rights of her parents. This is the second sin. The third is that they usurp the young girl's right to mam at her choice and will. They took away the widow's liberty, rejected her parent’s right and enforced their own right. What is saddening is that these people present themselves as good-doers in marrying-ofl a window though, in fact, they observed none of the real widoms of the marriage. Such cruelty was perpetratedlin Arabia too. The Prophet > eliminated that. He said tju f Allah and the angels cursed six people; one of ^°seoppos|„_E who re-introduces the custom of jahiliyah. °u . se pagaii Shari'ah if you do that. For God's sake give up customs. Try to eliminate them. (Uddal al Jaluiiya 1. p FORCED MARRIAGE d£)W give * Some people argue that they had madeJ^ahty tJ,a‘ assent with her tongue. But this is a lTierewidoW'S marria^ one may blame them for compulsion. obtain 0 not legal without her verbal consent sO an sometimes they marry her off wit ou of the’11 those consent do oppress her, for, t ey gnjSe hef her masters. Secondly, they do not authority. (ibid, p-374) isLA^iC THE DUTIES OF IN-LAWS OF A WID^V TEACHINGS mljSt giv6 When her husband dies, his PareI
  • 30. chaffer four ON EQUALITY SECTION ONE marriage. "•“‘■Ip-llll —‘ actual IMPORTANCE AND WRONGS OF MARRYING 01TSIDE Shari'ah has recognised some characteristics in Kifa 31 (equality). resemblance). It is better that the bride should be of an equal standing with the bridegroom because if status differs then manners and habits also differ which creates “'T!"’ b",,'en So' wll>'“ » to o—»■ M recosnix»; ^,Hren: 'U" ^^DFro. ,Z^W/ Antean h ‘^^lO that ^dam ’ “’’t d ,0Wer <. er s<de r K escent fil 8'dof ' llr)eape k °st nOl K «>« “PPoses
  • 31. 60 The Islamic Man,. - -------- ------- d'J "J i ^-dJ Li'} aJ' 4~aJC "Equality is from the man’s side because a woman of high birth refuses to be a partner of a man of lower rank. Equality is not from the woman's side because the husband is the owner of the bed and he does not show contempt on using the bed. This issue is correct in everyone's sight." (Istah Inqilab p-12). The Islamic Marriage 61 SECTION TWO ON LINEAGE DEFINITION The characteristics of equality include lineage. (Imdad al Fatawa, v-2 p-369) However in common law it is peculiar to personal nobility whether religious or worldly and taken into account with lineage to measure equality. This is evidenced in the justice language liyjlu jand its basis is common law. WISDOM IN EQUALITY OF LINEAGE ! h's*"' ' ''d * d J d ' ' 0 mankind! Surely We have created you from a male and a female and have made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another. (19:13) (And know you blood relations and give their rights accordingly to neatness). Without the nations and tribes, it would have been extremely difficult to recognise the different families and clans. Names are generally similar and many have the same name. Some distinction is possible also from the place of residence, a fa# from neighbourhoods and from tribes. However, people have made that a basis of pride and there are two kind of people. Some have done away with reference to lineage imagining that this verse speaks of different tribe 0|dy to recognise them. This prompted some people to reject nobility of descent. However, other verses of the Qur'an, and some Ahadith nnist be seen too. (al-Tabligh al Akramiyeh, v-18 p-21) MARRIAGE OF UNEQUAL There are many kinds of marriages among unequal.! some case, such marriage is void while in some others in valid and there is no option to annul it. In yet other cases.i: correct but there is option to annul it. THE FIRST KIND Marriage of unequal without permission of adult woe who is a blood relation. The marriage is not valid. They,: commit sin all their life if they' stay together. THE SECOND KIND If a father or a grandfather has married off a minor tot , unequal and the father and grandfather are not malicious tN the marriage is valid and there is no option to annul it etc? under certain circumstances. , THE THIRD KIND If a guardian other than father or grandfather, or or grandfather who are known to be malicious or (they) in an intoxicated state marry off a minor to an unequal then marriage is void. THE FORTH KIND [h If an adult woman is married to an unequal W permission of her guardian then this marriage is valid an one has option to annul it. (al Hilah al Najizah pp-105-106)-
  • 32. 62 NOBILITY OF DESCENT IS REAL 1. Allah has said, He Islamic Marriage 63 they feel disgraced to toe other people and a warlike situation arises. And certainly We sent Nuh and Ibrahim, and we appointed in the progeny of the twain, the Prophethood and the Book. (57:26) Besides, man protects what belongs to his family. Thus, as an imam the Quraysh will protect religion in two ways: 1) It belongs to his clan, and 2) religious relationship. Thus, difference in lineage is not without purpose, and it is from Allah. (Huquq uz Zawjayn p-193). 4. Furthermore, a Hadith quotes the Prophet # as saying: Thus, the offspring of Ibrahim have excellence overite rest of the tribe, for, prophethood and the Book will be wit them. 2. Ahadith: il j "The people are like mines of gold and silver. The best of them in Jahiliyah are the best in Islam too, when they have secured knowledge too." The jurist of an unrecognised lineage is not equal to ajuris of a recognised lineage. The jurist of a recognised lineages superior. But a scholar of an unrecognised lineage is supenr to an ignorant person even if he is of a recognised linea? Anyway, the Hadith emphasises that lineage is wof® considering. 3. Another Hadith: urbtj--------- 1 J* *------------------- There is certainly some reason why the Proph*1' associated imamat (leadership) with the Quraysh. He li^ the major imamat to the Quraysh and the minor to nobil11) descent. (Islah Inqilab p-109, al Tabligh v-18 p-220) • ill* Allah has given the Quraysh excellence. The chiefs from them and others will not hesitate to follow the111' JUJu-c^ilii <_jJ___S'V Ji ui When the Muslims lost foot in the Battle of Hunayn, the Prophet $ advanced his horse and said, "1 am the Prophet. It is not a lie and I am the son of Abdul Muttalib.” He meant, "I am of noble descent and will never be defeated." He warned the enemy, taking pride on his descent. If nobility was not something then why would he say, "I am the son of Abdul Muttalib?" 5. According to a Hadith, "Allah chose from the offspring of Sayyidina Ibrahim >£3, Sayyidina Ismail fet and from his offspring the Kinanah and from them the Quraysh and from them the Banu Hashim and from them he chose me." 6. We read in another Hadith: (<?yj! u«l) ji sJi) ^l) • ’ u. sijj) U j LU ^^>14 Allah created all creatures and placed me among the best of them. Then He put them in two sections and placed me in the better section. Then He made them into tribes and placed me in the best tribe (the Qurayish). Then He made them into families and Placed me in the best family (Banu Hashim). Thus, I
  • 33. 65 64 ““^Tbestof them inherently and in terms of fam^> These quotations leave no doubt that descent does not |acl nobility, though it does not imply the noblest. The standard« the noblest is taqwa (righteousness, God-fearing). AjJail Alli _Gc- y—=>', Surely the noblest among you in the sight of Allah is the most pious of you. (49 : 13) (at-Tabligh, v-18. p-222). ARROGANCE NOT LAWFUL Nobility of descent is not within one's power and st nothing to boast about, but there is no doubt that itisi blessing. Intellectually, one might boast on what is in one: power and that is knowledge and deeds though, according it Shari‘ah, one should not boast on that too. , (Mulfuzat Aslirafiyah.f-■ It is forbidden under all circumstances to be proud because of high descent. Today, not only the nobles indulge in thatb- also the common show arrogance and regard themselves* equals of the nobles and do not differentiate bet*e: themselves and the nobles. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-193) But this does not mean that nobility of descent is nod1-- For example, one should not be proud of one's beaut) - handsome looks, but we cannot deny that it is a blessing h‘gh level. The same can be said of nobility of descent. (al-Tabligh. w" DESCENT IS FROM FATHER *S 3 ser’ous mistake in regarding the mothe . nohle enn8 SOmeone's descent. Thus, if his equal’ RC0Ple d0 nOt consider the person to be nob e , i on ,h'"'ata™S equality of descent. „-<l' StaiW> -« commands of * ,;P iXe i " ? P"SM'S "»•>- in -heir n N his mother is from Banu Hash"’ zakah. Thus, F re noble- evidence The Arabs also mothers, *>' “ ® wb p<'* "2 p'108’ SHARIF because of wires. Sayyidah Sarah * X el.. bat Sayyidah Hajirah was as are sayyidma Ismail ® was her son, he being the father of same Arabs. Thus, the woman who is the beginning of some .Arabs was a slave. The tribes in Inida, however, look for defects in other families because of low descent of women. They should know that this is no defect because Shari‘ah does not rely on mothers ■nevaluanng descent. {al-Tabligh alAkramiyah v-18, p-224). RELLABILITY of SAYYID However, there k te«ndants of the Prophet le3XCecPtl°n (° th’S rule- The ln Case of nff aUng descent, mothp ■ “t«nc^01fFadmah” X,ed up°n * ‘*..biii,TOe;^,^(Sayyj-^ S.*bri*'»,he 'S °nlr becaUse SaWina A|Sayyid- The ? m,stake Of fh . .......
  • 34. 67 66________________ —f^tetiun is only for the Prophet * and^X down from SaW** Fat'm^ The offspri ‘ Sayyidina Al. 4. from o.her wombs are all ShayW, !» offspring of the righteous Caliphs are also called Shaykh (Ifadcit al-Yawmiyah Pp lo.|; A question arises here about a person whose father j '' Sayyid but mother is Sayyid. Is he a Sayyid or not? Accord to the rules, he is not Sayyid though he gets a touch of nobfc because of his mother being Sayyid, but he cannot call himself a Sayyid. It is lawful for him to take zakah if he is not Sahib Nasab (owner of minimum on which zakah is payable) Anyway, mother is not considered in descent (exceptfc Sayyidah Fatimah Neverthless in freedom of nect children represent their mother. SECTION THREE COMMENT ON INDIA'S TABLES OF GENEALOGY I doubt very much if those who are called noble of desce: in India are really so. It is very strange, the number of Shaykfe we come across. There are Siddiqis, Faruqis, Alarm Uthmanis and Ansaris. What about the other Sahabah» besides the four we hear of ? We do not hear anyone say that he is a descendant' Sayyidina Bilal ibn Rabah or Sayyidina Miqdad '■ Aswad So, I doubt them. These genealogies are tr^ UP by our friends. 1 bare given vent to my doubts in crowded assen1^ ’°Pe 7“ >»* descent to the four Caliphs ff w. and Sayyt^ina Abu Ayyub Ansari Dld “A descend118 theSe Sahahah 4, conquer Ind'a’ te“ o,h" Sahabah 4. become ex*' S1 ‘hues are far-fetched. Thus, the doubt. y (Zy/nA nf familV trees haVe the chart, the upper or ve.... * *in» » btftl| and camo' ** esabhS.e , c» Um *r “ „ Fanwis from Thana Bhawn but 7nTaX mhei-history because Ibrahim tree. There is lack of unantW atari him being a Famji or an Ijlf or a Tamimi or a Say y 1 Zaydi. (Haququz Zawjayn, p-192) No amount of evidence is enough on that. There is doubt, nevertheless. (Islah Inqilab, v-2 p-109) THRESTED TABLES OF GENEALOGY ^people are noWe bul nobles in the tables of genealoav Tn* > • S ne amrl. claimants are cursed in Tb So®'oneJ Ind,an ^les of„ prove, b*na*U1 1l<H*«connyyid"1> Aads nsidered ■ T. Kr, X ''“hbles or ‘®. so n, he n *«A®„ “"'"de-, ofSeneain„ ll,,s is Nf>i»l„(l C0KNitv w?)- 8y iMhv Arab, tflerDp tfleAf. rcle n ■ apply. afe nntPe°Ple.s h abs .. ' ^Ut SPerp„. So, ..5s Of
  • 35. The Islamic Manj^ 696% _ knswer: M per ta ST^«na«O"s- since the tanis repmeh or tark at it. and these tribes find it teproachM «, many among, each other, the issue of equality stands. (Imdad ul Fatawa, v-7, p-311) GENEALOGY AND TRIBAL LINKS ALSO FORM BASIS OF EQUALITY TODAY The jurists do not rely on the genealogy tables of the non-Arabs, if it is not accepted in common practice. If it is, then equality is dependant upon genealogy and tribal basis. (Imdad id Fatawa, v-2 p-368) ARE THE ANSARS AND THE QURAYSH EQUALS The Ansars are not from the Quraysh. But, the Alamgiri • says that all Arabs are equal, so the Ansars and the Quraysh will be regarded as equals, (ibid v-2 p-371) SUMMARY The restriction of Kifa'at (equality) is not without a reason. It is based on customary' honour or disgrace. For example, the SB Shaykhs may intermarry though they may be Faruqis. Siddiqis. Ansaris or Uthmanis; they are equals, and the restriction will' F not apply whether the mother is an Arab or not. (al-Idafat al-Yawniyah Part 3, p-200) NON ARAB SCHOLAR NOT EQUAL TO ARAB WOMAN Though some jurists have held that a non-Arab scholar is equal of an Arab woman yet it is explained in Dur Mukhtar that a non-Arab cannot be her equal even if he is -a (non-Arab) scholar or king. (Islah Inqilab b-2, p-111. Fath ul Qadir, Durr Mukhtar) A COMMON MISTAKE The villagers regard all outsiders as lesser than them as though nobility is limited to a few villages. Thus, if one of them marries a woman from outside, the village woman do not take her as an equal. His children face difficulty in marri g within the community. (Islah Inqlab v-2, p-110) Ate samic Marriage SECTION FOUR EQUALITY FROM RELIGIOUS POINT OF VEIW Among the basis on which Shari‘ah recognises equality is religion. Again -as in the case of descent it is not harmful if the wife is of a lower rank than her husband, but the husband must not be of a rank lower than his wife. A man's irreligiousness may be of three kinds: in the fundamental beliefs, in branch issues or in practice. THE FIRST KIND The woman is a Muslim but the man a non-Musiim — a Jew, Christian, Magian, idolator or atheist, Obviously, their marriage is void. 1HESECOND KIND The woman is a Sunni but the man is a bidati (an «"U>.lflieioeSiollKUlsr,fdi " lan in Mirza as a Prophet, then they cam™ ’ be ieving ’Muslim but not an equal of the Sunni Otherwise he is ln some cases, the Ulama are 9XT'^°r“fc'he'Xen rf" * i“OTa,or eiJ. Those who rule that h ■ SSes lOclay who l • caut‘ous approach °‘d) sh°uld be f no[ niarried is « »eee„ ■ "^ims is ° . ^rriage
  • 36. 70 71 The Islamic Marriage THE THIRD KIND The sinning man is never the equal of a righteous woman. Some jurists hold that the daughter of a pious man is also righteous. If a woman is righteous and the man is a sinner then he cannot be the equal of the righteous woman. Some jurists hold that the sinner must be a proclaimed. As for marriage of unequal, we have already spoken on that. (Islah Inqilab v-2 pp-13,14). CONFIRM THAT THE GROOM IS A MUSLIM Some of the youth who have acquired modern education are so free thinking and independent minded that they do not hesitate to imitate the atheists and they criticise the basic injunctions of Islam. They question prophethood, salah or fasting. Some of them have doubts about the last hour. Sucha man is a disbeliever though he may call himself a Muslim. A Muslim woman's marriage is not valid with a disbeliever. If a Muslim professes these beliefs then he becomes a non-Muslim and his marriage with a Muslim woman becomes void. Thus, you must ensure that your prospective son-in-law is a Muslim and if he happens to utter words of disbelief after marriage then ask him to make a repentance and renew his marriage, (ibid v-2 p-39> V ERIFY THAT HE DOES NOT MOVEABOUT WITH THE MISLED Find out before marriage whether or not the bridegroom subscribe to a misled group, not only the ancient ones but the new ones that crop up every day. Similarly, if he is western educated, verify whether it influenced his religious upbringing. If he utters even one"01" of disbelief then he will have to reaffirm his Islam and ret®" his marriage otherwise, he and his wife would be illegally. (Islah Inqilab, p-115) MARRIAGE WITH A CHRISTIAN OR JEW WOMAN Some people return from the west with a wife who bel°n' The Islamic Marriage to a Chirstian community but does not profess the religion of Christianity being atheists. Marriage with such a woman is not correct. Some men who marry a Christian woman are so impressed by her that they lose all values of their religion. It is wajib for them to keep away from that, (islah Inqilab, p-114) While the piety' of the prospective son-in-law was verified in the olden days it is necessary' now-a-day to verify if he is a Muslim at all. It is a condition to marry a Muslim woman that her husband should be a Muslim. Marriage of a Muslim woman with a disbeliever is not valid. Many boys are influenced with modem education and do not care about faith or religion. They are Muslims only in name. They utter words of disbelief with their tongue and do ■not care about it. Then one of them is chosen for a Muslim girl and the family members are happy that they have observed the sunnah method of marriage. But the condition to observe the sunnah is faith which we do not know' how many times he may have rejected! A pious girl was married to a western educated boy who bragged, "Muhammad0 was a great reformer and I admire him .much. But prophethood is a religious view." dAJ’i 4i b iyu (We seek refuge in Allah from that). This is an expression of disbelief which nullifies the marriage. If the parents of the girl are told about it then they are prepared to fight for their son-in-law. (Huquq uz Zawjayn, p-485) WEALTH OR PEDIGREE PREFERRED OVER RELIGION Some people hand over their daughter to an irreligious man only because he is wealthy or belongs to a noble family of repute. The man’s outlook borders on disbelief. As a result the couple commit sin of adultery all their life. Their children would be bastards. Even if the man does not commit disbelief, they suffer spiritual punishment always. (Islah inqilab, v-2 p-14) 0 &
  • 37. 72 ’________________________________ —e lslamic WHY BASE ON RELIGION The objective of marriage is love and friendshi religion plays a greater role in promoting that than anw else. Indeed, all relationships terminate when only reii links remain even on the Day of Resurrection. <__ )(__ Js’ N^k There shall be no ties of kinship among them.(23:ioi) and their ties (of relationship) would be cut asunder Out of affection between you in the life of this world; then on the Day of Resurrection you will deny one another and will curse one another. (29 : 25) But, religious relationship will not end even on that day riends on that day shall be foes to one another except those who are God fearing. (43:67) fears /im35011 'S *at religion creates fear of Allah- He think of31 bC mindful °f the little things and will not* will not h'0 at'n8 righlS °f any°ne even t° a little eXieLpl< Who can i?” anyone> nor prefer himself over otherP e more civilised than such a one? (|bid- P'4S' IRREUGio?s w°omaICH A religious man W1TH ° marriage Women of low character- Th° jc that she vet ’ and We niust not have misgiving5 w» W "form. i. is a cauli„US aPP'<”C’ K <5“r'anic words mean: The aduherer weds no. bo. »» adulteress or an "X. and .he adulteress, none weds her but an adulterer or an associator. (24:3) Though this does not specifically disallow such a marriage yet it calls the marriage disliked. If the persons adulterous nature is confirmed them there is greater degree of dislike to the point of unlawfulness but if it is to the degree of possibility- then the dislike is lesser. This is stressed in the Hadith Cm > - / r, (choose a « Prophet a «omm who mav hL ' A “ chose for • 11115 is what the ilH:
  • 38. 74 _________________________ The Islamic It is also the other way about when a male child is marri^ to a young woman. Thus, a boy was married to a yo^ woman; he was so young that he could have been her fir$! born. This was very detestable though not disallowed. If there is a reasonable compatibility in age then it promotes love ani affection. (Udal al Jahiliyah, p-356) It is very necessary that the couple be of a compatible age This is a natural requirement but also somewhat recommended by Shari‘ah. The Qur'an says: Maidens of restraining glances of equal age. (38 : 52) It also says: Surely We have created them (their spouses) by (special) creation, so We have made them virgins, loving, equals of age. (56 : 35-37) Difference of age causes unfamiliarity. People of one a? become friends quickly. When Sayyidina Abu Bakr and later Sayyinina Umer proposed marriage to Sayyidat Fatima the Prophet said each time, "Sheis young. There was much difference in their ages, so the Prophe* turned down the request of each of them. Thus, part of d-! reason was that the difference in age of the bride and groo® must not be very much. (Udal al Jahiliyah) TOLERABLE DIFFERENCE * When she was married, Sayyidah Fatimah ^s. . 1516 years old and Sayyidina Ali was 21 years old. advisable that the bridegroom should be slightly older than bride. (Islah ur Rasum, p-90) The wise men say that there is no harm if the " younger slightly because a woman is the ruled while man1S The Islamic Marriage_____________________________________________________ ruler. Besides, woman ages faster than man, so a differenced oftwo to four years is absorbed. (Huquq uz Zawjayn. p-371) THE GIRL MUST REFUSE WHEN THERE IS A MISMATCH If the bride is very young and the groom is old then she might become a widow very soon. Girls as young as thirteen years old are — dumb creatures — married off to men as old as sixty years old. If she is chaste then she finds herself imprisoned for life, otherwise she will commit indecency. In either case, husband and wife will be at loggers head and disagreement. In the second case, there will be much disrepute and disgrace of both families. Often, an old husband is the first todie, so the very' young wife falls into the trap of customs and rots the rest of her life as a widow. Sometimes, she does not get enough to eat and, if custom will not permit, she will not go out to earn a living, but if she does then she may fall prey towicked men. (Islah Inqilab p-24). EVILS OF MARRYING YOUNG BOY TO AN ELDER WOMAN Some customs are the opposite of this. A young boy, often achild, is married to an older girl. She becomes youthful early while he is old enough to play in her lap. The foolish people who make this match do not realise that the ideal ages of the partners is when they are nearly equal. This custom will never allow the pair to show love to one another. The result is that the girl either commits indecency or withers away from tuberculosis. Later when the boy grows to youth, they are again no match. The hatred of early marriage persists and the husband is not respected, (islah Inqlab. v-6 p-44). When the Prophet # did not approve a young girl for an old man then how may we expect him to approve a young boy for an older woman? Besides, this is unreasonable too. The otplanation is that a husband is superior and an authority. Besides, a woman ages faster than her husband who might then b,lil8 another wife. (Huquq uz Zawajayn p-371)
  • 40. I •J. 6. One who meets these conditions may be tolerated. It is not - proposals of marriage He consulted his neighbour who..; jew on who should he choose. The Jew hesitated int beginning saying, "Our religions differ so how my advice% be reliable. The saintly man assured him, "Youarefc Muslim, but you are a gentleman and would not give a advice. So 1 proffer it without hesitation." The Jew said "I have heard that your Prophet had said: cjiL jilid j j uJuJ jS o'Ji "Four things are observed when marrying a women: wealth, beauty, position and religion. Try to many'het to a religious minded man". "All the proposals received by you lack perfect religion. ■ student who stays in your mosque is nearest to that. He - always engaged in Allah's work. Marry your daughter to 1c ■Hered in the groo*11- fe« things ^d ^0” |amic beiiefs and he M he no doubt in his There should be n elders. , ue should be mild tempered. . U^^tpectediogi-erightstohisreatton. I Ills.easily dial he™ enough means of livelihood. far fetched to expect, such a young man to grow a beard after a gradual living together. (Malfuzcit Ashraliyah. p-311) There are three other necessary conditions. 1. Ability to earn a livelihood. •' should be equality as near as possible. - Righteousness. ""S cease .............................
  • 41. 80 The Islamic Marriage example, in spite of being advised against it, a woman married her daughter hastily only because she thought that she was dying. It turned out that the bridegroom was very cruel. He quarrelled with a Britisher and then was scared of being punished for that, so he enlisted himself in the war. The man is very quarrelsome and the woman now laments that it was het daughter's fate. I feel like throttling her to death, for she seems to say that she is not at fault but it is Allah's fault, cJJi (We seek Allah's refuge from such thought ) (Hasan ul Aziz v-2 p-4W SECTION TWO THE BEST WOMEN Sayyidina Abu Hurayrah reported that Allah's Messenger was asked, "Which woman is the best"? He said. "The one whose husband is pleased when he looks at her and who obeys him when he commands her. She does not do anything displeasing about her person of his wealth. (Nasai) According to Sayyidina Ma'qil ibn Yasar Allah's Messenger said, "Marry such women as are loving and prolific because I will take pride over other Ummahs on your large numbers. (Abu Dawood, Nasai) If she is a widow, one can see her previous life how she loved her husband and how many children she had. If she is* virgin, her health and family history will disclose how she might turn out. (Hayat ul Muslimeen, p-188) w Islamic Marriage 81 (ijSJLi) illJj "A woman may be married for four reasons, for her property, her rank, her beauty and her religion; so get the one who is religious and prosper." (Mishkat) WHAT TO LOOK FOR IN A BRIDE In these times, one looks for beauty in a bride and in a bridegroom, but religion is side-tracked. In rea'^, however, beauty and wealth should be the least looked 3 aliO' qualities and religion should be the most sought after qua ' a prospective match. This is why a Hadith say: TO TOOK FOR MODERN EDUCATION Just as people look for modem education in a bridegroom, they have now regrettably come to look for such qualification in would be brides. What is their aim in that? If they want them to share the burden of easing then it speaks very poorly of the manly qualities of the husbands. It is shameful to be obliged to a woman. If such a woman seems to be skilled and might give comfort then one must know that sincerity, obedience and a helping hand are more necessary to lead a peaceful and comfortable married life. Some lack-ness of skill might be tolerated but not a lack of these other things. Experience shows that modem education makes one arrogant, selfish, rude, shameless and cunning. How then will such a woman lend a helping hand? Rather, she will demand her rights and make her husband's life difficult. If he is derelict then she will not hesitate to go to the courts for her rights. 1 say that it is better that a woman is illiterate than qualified in modern education. An illiterate woman is harmless. If she does not possess the praiseworthy qualities then she will also not have the evil manners. What are called civilised today are hypocrisy and hiding bets. It is punishable and a woman with these traits is like Hell. (Islah Inqilab. pp-45, 47) BETTER if she has religious education However, if educated women are sought then let that be religious education. This makes one perfectly civilised if one 8115 on that. Indeed, one who-has knowledge is inclined to put “11110practice sooner or later, (ibid v-2 p-47)
  • 42. 82 The lslami^ CONSEQUENCES OF SEEKING BEAUTY Wealth and beauty are ephemeral. Wealth deserts in j1? one night and beauty vanishes after a single illness, never come if an eye is damaged, or one gets small-pox, or loose, hair on head. Thus, the castle that was built on wealth and beaun tumbles down. The couple begin to hate one another andr becomes difficult to live together. However, if wealth at; beauty persist but religion is missing then the person lack manners, proper deeds and mutual relationship. He is unreliable because he will never observe the limits. When the partners are evil-mannered, then how can the hope to live together for long? {islah inqilab) UNDENIABLE FACT I have observed myself a woman a paragon of beaut)' and her husband rich as Korah. But he was irreligious and sis ill-mannered and indecent. As a result, they were not even® speaking terms with one another. (Islah Inqilab) IF TWO HAPPEN TO FALL IN LOVE.... If a young man and woman happen to fall in love then they should better be married to one another. (Talim udDin) A VERY BEAUTIFUL WIFE IS ALSO DANGEROUS People generally look now-a-days for a beautiful won® But, comfort and protection from mischief lies in having a "it who is not very beautiful. Though beauty is Allah's blessin- yet these days it is likely to promote mischief. Sometimes? min displeases his parents and falls head over heels in love his beautiful wife and he even distance himself from religion (Hasan ul Aziz, v-1 P 83The Islamic Marriage written that her eyesight has become weak after weeping day and night. She feels so depressed that she would have tom her garments and lost herself outside or thrown herself in a well were it not disallowed by religion. She consoles herself and can do nothing beyond weeping all the while. She married him about seventeen years ago, this being her second marriage. She must have been very beautiful then and he promised her a very comfortable life and painted a very rosy picture. Now, she is old and he does not turn to her. He even denies that she had ever served him. He is younger than her in age and this is what happens when one marries because ofbeauty, or when one marries an irreligious man. MARRYING FOR MONEY Some men look out for a rich girl. This is worse than a girl's guardian looking for a rich bridegroom because this latter might be explained as a man's responsibility to provide for his wife. In fact, it is necessary to look out for a bridegroom who can support his family, yet, if one gives it more importance than other necessary characteristics then it is wrong. Nevertheless, to seek a rich bride to benefit from her riches is very shameful on the part of the man. (Islah Inqilab p-42). THE CASE OF AN INNOCENT BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I received a letter from a very pious woman who had allegiance to me about forth years ago (as a disciple). She complained about the rude and cruel behaviour of her hush I was much pained on reading her letter. The poor worn^ SEEKING A LARGE DOWRY It is also known that a rich woman will never esteem a poor husband. She will regard him as lowly and a servant. The parents of the bridegroom seeking a bride who can bring a large dowry are really foolish. First, the dowry belong to the bride but if they hope to use it then that is very shameful greedy. Secondly, a husband may have some excuse for “sing it but his parents have no right to use any part of the dowry. Besides, when their son and his wife move out, all terhopes will be crushed. (Islah Inqilab,v2p42) DOWRY without demand However, there is no harm in giving a dowry on their own
  • 43. by the girls parents without the bridegroom wishing for it, waiting for it or looking at it w This is explained through this verse. And He found you destitute, so He enriched (you).(93:8) yS- jA dlW U «!' aA* *1^! vUaJt iyjlj 5'jLaJ' «ul£ Jti US" y ji—xj bid j s •ax* J)| And it is a condition that one should not wait to receive the wealth, or look at it eagerly because the Prophet said, "Whatever comes to you without your seeking, take it. And what does not come. do not go after it. --•SSS* Ih,Xhy fc v”d="”»«Ahadith lay stress up,°" " and mention its virtues. Thus, Allah has promised that if we pray I0 him He will accept it. The Prophet said, "Prayer is a great to of worship." He also said, "One who is motivated to pray, the doors to acceptance are opened or "The doors to mercy are opened." He also said, "Only prayer can remove fawhich is decreed." lta”a" planni”8and c™on. We *“MeMvwh«h.. nL Sometimes, the for him 10 be" “and someI'mes reward is ',*i»*srpi'vs'‘i('"ER ^,P<™ge“ea’,p'a«r.o0 Th and make 'h""t Iha> """^meir"'11 ln<1>>y dJTd Tn'’' dOne- Pral and k, Wa?Waman8- 'lailer mean’s ? n,ade ■>»««„, “'mpioy S5""s-^Wie's"”1 ^’’h- of °rn men01 "larry h> vfev"y = 8e‘ “S U H1*^V‘.Ca4ef^>and trite.(Tlethe‘Ust
  • 44. 87 (|v)^u n h I seek your forgiveness, peace and security waning my religion and worldly life an my family and wealth.' Ubj)J la-ljjij bjb j UIjUul j Ufrli-df Jji id (ir^y "0 Allah! Bless us in our sights, in our hearts, in our spouses and in our offsprings; and accept our gl inted, you are rhe Oft-Relenting, The ®« TOM EVIL PARINE8 ■ "’*«5k ret“8e»you fr„ if *,r»» «»?’«»! for? kref“8e X, "
  • 45. I X you from every hope that makes me neglectful. These prayers are found in Ahadith. They are here from Munajat Maqbul compiled by Mawlana Tha We must invoke blessing on the Prophet three times e before and after making any supplication. PRAYER OF ISTIKHARAH When a Muslim resolves to do something important k must offer two rakaat salah and make the following supplication. If he does not remember it by memory then hi may read it; if he cannot read Arabic then he may make the prayer in his own language though it is better to use the quoted Arabic words: j* jjl ♦if' J j yjJ' Y j jait cJjli — i eXLs! J /iSi' 'Aa O' T jj (t-j-i-h ~ 9^ j j J J '■& o' ? Otf cj- yjt jiitj J* 0 Allah! I beseech You for the good through Yo knowledge, and ability through Your power. An^ heg You for Your great favours, for indeed, ^oU Power and I have none and You have knowledge I have none. And, indeed, You are the All-k”0" things unseen." my 0 Allah, if You know that this matter is 8°°^ ^(s faith, for my livelihood and for the issue of w , Cn orc^a’n it for me and makes it easy f°r j$ pad ° ess me in it- But, if You know that dnsjll^ (,f .in or my faith, for my livelihood and for the 1S airs then turn it away from me and turn haveinn^- !SHKHARAH FOR MARR AJJah (hat a person K is an invisible a m that because 5h0UldheSltatethTrAHah1will choose the best thing for him. X^hXat he chooses is the only thing good for him. This is why he does not say. "If you know this matter is good for me...." The honourable Khwaja said that Istikhara is not needed lor a good thing. No, every thing can be good or bad. We can see that in the behaviour of sayyidah Zainab <ii The Met ^proposed marriage with her. She knew that he was d0ubt 111 its b'eing a L0rdh She made Isti^aST 1 C°nSult jSsrF-svx?- , lahs Punishment. n she would (8""""'^-PP.234.235) only.- Street to >»le he,Wl^o„ t.‘^We “•!s«
  • 46. 91 The Islamic t ------ -—^Tindoubt. And one is in doubt. U is done when < equaUy viable to the human eye.i(j both courses of acu°’ detertnined then what is the pOiM Istikharah. < . ikharah is a matter that may be either The need fo'EeJCI p-403) beneficial or harm • Qr law or in But if anything is 1 £xamples are to make Istikharah on Istikharah is not made. & lt 1S notvalidffl reality of istikharah fof lhe good. Iht It is actually a prayer s & in his doings, andfor supplicant asks Allah for goo , p Once he makes tk prevention of that which is not^cm Istikharah, he should not e omplings a..- Rather, he is at liberty to adopt o P good ‘ to prefer a course of action, and he mus good aM in that. In short, istikharah is a means f blessings. (Anfas Earn v-2 p-675) beart to is a prayer to Mtab to turn yo^ „„„« ;od £»£ adopt whether you succeed or not. In tie bstitute < will prove good either in this life through^ „iade* hereafter as reward for patience. If 1st’ 1 on rhe whole, there is no promise for g0°Ma(yHZflt The essence of Istikharah lies in abili y° pjeased good. The words *j (and cause me seek peace of heart with the action. hiS WHEN CAN IT BE BENEFICIAL rjds m Istikharah is beneficial for a suppl’can occup> ^gii of every thought. If not, than the thoughts pe 1 cause him to incline to that course of ac ' L 90 He Sels ,hich , ••“‘"‘l W»"« disa(’P“?Tbis sl'»WS thal “t'W* «®« genetical- ™S^v,ousty. the **« * “XdtJwS is meaningless- So I**« K«ra coutse of action that mig <ltah does not aim to finnly t0 the righ ,Wethe hesitancy and the heait may (Ifadflt a! Yawmiyah v-10 p-128) KF1TS OF ISTIKHARAH Therefore, the benefit of istikharah is the conviction that be granted surely to the supplicant. The difference in taring istikharah or refraining from it is that if it is strong ^effective then the supplicant will not be inclined to -elebsness (and harmful action). And this can also be known ' IskUkharah when one ponders over it but £ »promise of ModV°SeS damaging thm§s lhen there is 01ijete» no promise'of' H”"*’ Sh°Uld understand "S Wand hies SUCC6SS in lstikharah but of Visible "dbleW whether these thine. * ^ara/iM,p.215) mgs are visible and res®®
  • 47. 92 93 THE METHOD One may offer two rakaat salah and af supplication and pay attention to his heart (n^ that niake necessary to go to sleep. It is enough to make % just once. He must rid himself of any pre-conce^ must make lstikharah only when his heart is Ce'Ved ldea$ and pray, "O Allah ordain for me what is best" While6^ Hema! to pray in any language, the words of the Prophet^ areb^ (ibid v-3 PP4 lfl) A CONDITION Istikharah is useful only when one removes all nations from the mind that are formed before hand, otherwise tta dominate his mind and influence his decision. (al-Ifadat id Yawmiyah v-10, p-165) : CASE SPELL OR MAKE AMULET TO MARRY SOMEONE SPECIFICALLY The jurists have ruled that it is disallowed to make® amulet with the object of subjugating a husband. Sin“1^ kind of an amulet is disallowed to a married coa^[ell() marriage is also void. Further, to give such ^ves sUCh an someone is also forbidden. Even if a saint g amulet, it is a sin. (Udul ul Jami p-382) .AMULET AND SPELL CONCERNING MARRI ^ A spell may be one of two kinds.^missive- not*0, subject (say, a woman) subservient ai Whatever ■ j of think independently. This is ^//.^pted by obligatory in Shari'ah may no n is not ob spell, like marrying a particular p nt to c her30 Shari'ah. The second kind is on > ting hu*‘ ^js^' subject to do something without s^ cast wi after that a proposal may be given _ mind is allowed. (Imdad ul Fatawa v P , MARRIAGE MAY TAKE PLACE EASl One may recite after Isha bleSsings 00 hundred and eleven times invoking «i»<!ES£——'for forly days also pray '» 2ndhave this wish in Even if he gets his wish ^-n«^”P*^“b'forethe a$ ,.. Z*F ■’V -ir z E jjLill lib' -A dbj Jjjj A-4 ■>, >'• “/» jjd LlJ'j idlij/ Isjj dlU-J Write this down on the hide of a deer or a piece of paper aidputit in a closed box in the home. (Amol Qur'ani p-64. These are Qur'anic verses 20:331-132) MWANCE GUIDELINES CONCERNING MARRIAGE 1 "’Person has the sexual urge and the ability then it is xxntrkarry;howeveriftheurge isthe-but 2 7lhty then keepmg plenty of fastscu^ ““8ra>m “ pi« j Sueci(les t0 have a "*"8*1 be left f'hon, Condition nf u . S CUrsed acp alah >s verv u,
  • 48. / 94 SECTMONE OTHER GUIOEU'to 81 are not told ThRuh6r’ he tThe Hadith Says 0 the Would be divorces ms —- ...any ner again . iT* has wed another man and he has divorced h ' consummating the marriage and she has gone throu prescribed waiting period after each divorce. Halaiah bind the second husband before marriage that he divorce her immediately after marriage to beat J condition). 7. Marriage is best solemnised in a mosque so that it gets best publicity and there also is a blessing. 8. It is most disliked to Allah that husband and wife » describe their private life to other people. Many people commit excess in this matter. 9. Walimah is mustahabb (recommended). But there should not be exaggeration in it. 10. If anyone seeks your advice before marrying someoneta it is well-wishing to describe any evil in him, for that is n« backbiting. In fact, it is sometimes wajib to disclose that (Talimud^ ,g£TT)SEE THE BRIDE BEFORE MARRIAGE Hi wry necessary to ensure Hint two people who marry should be compatible with one another. So, the prospective bridegroom may also have a glimpse of the bride before their mage. Theirs is going to be a life-long company. This is feed in a Hadith, but it would be as part of finalising their cement, not with evil intent. It may be compared to a W examination of his patient to diagnose his illness. tl (Al-Ifadat al Yawmiyah v-5 0-551 lhe marriage lest I