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大山里的日子(二) Xwy/2008.11
  我跟着哥哥下乡插队那年不到十八岁。下乡的地方是大山深处一个美丽的小山村,全村只有十几户人家散落在几条山沟里。房前曲折婉转的小溪叮咚作响,房后起伏连绵的大山郁郁葱葱,那里无处不见石,出门就爬坡,贫瘠的土地不好好长庄稼,社员吃粮,要靠年年上山开荒。每到青黄不接的时候,队长还要带着大家到沟外去借粮。虽然那时又苦又累,常常吃不饱,可是我却过得很快活,小山村对我来说,就像是世外桃源,在那里,我不再是“可以教育好的子女”,可以平等的生活在他们中间。   也许是太想吃,所以我记忆最深的,总是和吃有关。
⒊采瓢儿
吃过晌午饭,我坐在兆娥家的门槛上,呆呆的望着远处的山口,那里是外出的人回来第一眼能看到的地方。 兆娥是土生土长的山里姑娘,和我一般大,鹅蛋形的脸上有一对柔和的大眼睛,经常因为害羞,将长长的睫毛盖住眼脸。她是我下乡结识的好朋友,我生病时她会拿出家里不多的一点白面,为我做一碗细长溜滑的面条,这是我一年难得吃到的;下雨不上工的时候,我喜欢躺在她家的热炕上,放松一下疲惫的身躯,静静的看着她满含羞涩地把梦想一针一线地纳进为未婚夫做的袜底子里,开心地逗她讲她夫婿的故事(兆娥悲惨的故事我以后再讲)。
这两天,队上的知青有的外出开会,有的参加文艺演出,都不在家,我百无聊赖,上工之余,懒得做饭,在兆娥家混着吃。 其实伙伴们劝我也参加文艺队,说反正有公分挣,我没答应,为什么,我也说不清楚。我上小学的时候挺爱唱歌跳舞的,上中学以后,不喜欢这些了,上课之余,总喜欢躲在家里看看小说。父亲挨批斗之后,我就更不愿意外出参加什么活动了。
我坐在门槛上,任午后的阳光懒懒地洒在身上,眼睛茫然的望着远处,心里却挂念着还关在“牛棚”里的父亲,不知他最近有没有挨打;想着整日里为父亲担惊受怕的母亲,不知她最近有没有晕倒;我虽然远离世间的喧嚣,可他们却留在是非之地,不知可安好……,我的思绪正在远处飘荡,隐隐觉得一双忧郁的眼睛望着我,我回头一看,是兆娥。兆娥说:“反正知青都不在家,就你一个人,干脆下午你别去上工了,我带你去一个地方。”“去哪里?”我问。“采瓢儿。”说着,拉起我的手向山里走去。
我们沿溪而上,不久转进一条山沟,沿着山沟往里走,不知绕了几道弯,我抬头一看,沟深林密,灌木丛生,山石突兀,让人有些透不过气来。在乱石和灌木之间,有一小片草地,草地上有许多橘红色的小果子在微风中抖动。它们是那么小,只有指头大,纤细的茎顽强地向上伸着,吸吮被大山、乱石、丛林、杂草遗漏的一点阳光,二三片微黄的叶子随着风努力地舞动着,显示着自己的存在。 兆娥告诉我,这就是瓢儿,她采下一颗,用衣襟擦了擦,递给我。哦,是草莓,正确的说是野草莓,吃到嘴里,酸中带甜,还有一股淡淡的清香。真没想到,草莓这么珍贵的水果在这样贫瘠的地方也能生长,虽然是那么纤弱,那么不起眼,虽然叫做瓢儿,但它们却是真正的草莓。
我看着弱小而倔强的小瓢儿,就好像看到了生活在这穷山僻壤里一辈子都在“贫困”中挣扎的山里人。 这儿是大山深处的一个小山村,山高沟深石头多,土地贫瘠,人们终年辛勤劳作,打下的粮食也不够全家吃饱,平日里只能是干重活的男人多吃,老人和女人少吃。没钱买布做衣裳,身上一件衣服一穿就是三季:冬天做件新棉袄,里子用的是往年穿破的旧衣裳,春秋天淘出棉花作夹衣,待穿到来年,早已是补丁摞补丁,面目全非了。穿烂的破布从来舍不得丢,用来打袼褙纳鞋底,还时常不够用,鞋底中间只好加上几层草纸。
山里人多年养成的生活习惯让我们这些城里去的学生娃娃有些好笑,仔细想想之后,又有些心酸:吃完饭用舌头舔碗,生怕遗留下一点粮食渣渣;吃面舍不得嚼,怕消化的快不耐饥;晚饭只喝稀稀的苞谷糊,说不干活吃多了浪费粮食;晚上睡觉舍不得穿衣,嫌炕席磨衣裳,不耐穿……,唉,到了这里我才知道了什么是贫穷。可是不知为什么,在这里我很少看见因生活艰难而愁苦的脸,田间地头到处都是他们的笑声,他们在艰苦的劳动中努力制造快乐,用笑声回馈生活。我想起村里一位老人极富哲理的话:“人一辈子咋都是个活”。
我轻轻抚摸着曾经被打伤的嘴唇,眼前晃动着父亲身上新添的块块青紫色的伤痕,那都是我在家时惹得祸。 一天,我们几个父母“有问题”孩子在院子里玩,被几个孩子用石块追打,领头的当然是根正苗红。一块石头打过来,幸亏我躲得快,从我脸旁擦过,我有些气恼,忍不住顶撞了那个领头的孩子一句,结果是我被一拳打晕,还殃及到父亲。他的父母为了“震慑”我,指使人将父亲从“牛棚”中拖出,在我家对面打了几天,还不停的叫骂。我坐在家里,托着因心脏受不了刺激而晕过去的母亲,听着窗外阵阵的打骂声,心都揪在了一起,悔恨自己为什么不能忍。
我坐在草地上,一想到由于我的原因让老父亲悲惨的生活雪上加霜,我的心仍然像刀割一样疼,我抬起头,努力让眼眶中的泪水不要流出来。我在这里过的很好,苦和累对我来说已经不算什么,我没有别的祈求,只希望远方的父母能经受住磨难,像眼前这些卑微的瓢儿一样,勇敢的坚持活下去……。
兆娥走过来睁大了眼睛紧张地望着我,“咋啦?酸吗,不好吃吗?”,我看着她,知道她带我来就是为了让我高兴,连忙说:“好吃,好吃的很哩。” 兆娥一边逗我说话一边拉着我采瓢儿,我的心轻松了许多,在说笑中我们采光了所有的瓢儿,装在小拌笼里,相跟着返回村子。我感激地望着兆娥的背影,她可能不知道,在我脆弱的那一刻,一个小小的安慰是多么珍贵。下乡前,从小和我一起长大的好朋友也被警告不许和我在一起。这儿虽然艰苦,同伴们的友谊和山里人的善良,却让我感到快乐和温暖。
沟,越走越宽,天蓝,山青,水绿,逐渐西斜的夕阳温柔的望了我们最后一眼,躲进了高高的山后,只将一抹金色的余晖抛向清澈的天空,又轻轻地撒向绿色的山野,在摇曳的山林、蹦跳的小溪和我俩身上涂了一层浅浅的橘黄,留下了她临走前的最后一丝温暖;休息了一天的晚风也凑过来舞弄我的头发,抚摸我的脸,傍晚的山风虽然很凉,我却感到了丝丝暖意。兆娥在前面问我:“明年还来这搭采瓢儿吗?”我回味着瓢儿淡淡的果香,大声回答说:“来,当然还来。” 第二年,瓢儿红的时候我却忙着干活没顾上来。
在一个寒冷的冬日,知青返城的浪潮终于也波及到了我,我告别了生活两年多的小山村,返回了城里,兆娥也因故离开了家,打那以后,我就再也没吃过瓢儿,也没见过兆娥。 …… 一场暴风雨过后,乌云终于散去,阳光透过客厅的玻璃,照在父母苍老而安详的脸上,他们老了,像两只受伤的鸟,再也经不起折腾了,我真希望他们的晚年一直能过上这样平静的生活。沙发旁的茶几上放着一碗洗的干干净净的草莓,又红又大,上面撒了一层厚厚的白糖,没吃就已经感觉到了甜。 我静静地坐在客厅的一角,              望着眼前的情景,不由得想起                了深山里那片在微风中抖动的               瓢儿,想起了兆娥那双善良而               温柔的眼睛。
谢谢分享!

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大山里的日子(二)