This document provides a list of 16 common reasons for unsuccessful marriages from an Islamic perspective. Some of the key reasons listed include lack of honesty between partners, concealing defects, differences in habits and traditions between partners, lack of patience and rushing to change partners, not properly understanding the Islamic foundations of marriage, and not following Islamic guidelines for intimacy between partners. The document aims to provide a quick overview of important reasons for unsuccessful marriages in order to help partners avoid these issues and have a successful marriage.

1. ‫اﻷﺳﺒﺎب‬ ‫ﻷﻛﺜﺮ‬ ‫اﻟﺴﺮﯾﻊ‬ ‫دﻟﯿﻠﻚ‬‫ﺷﯿﻮﻋﺎ‬‫ﻏﯿﺮ‬ ‫ﻟﻠﺰواج‬
‫اﻟﻨﺎﺟﺢ‬
Your quick guide for the Most
common reasons for unsuccessful
Marriages
‫ﻋﻤﻠﯿﺔ‬ ‫إﺳﻼﻣﯿﺔ‬ ‫إﺟﺘﻤﺎﻋﯿﺔ‬ ‫ﻧﻈﺮ‬ ‫ﺟﮭﺔ‬
Practical Socio-Islamic view
‫اﻟﺰواج‬ ‫أﺳﺒﺎب‬ ‫أھﻢ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ‬ ‫ﺳﺮﯾﻌﺔ‬ ‫ﻧﻈﺮة‬‫ﺗﻼﻓﯿﮭﺎ‬ ‫ﻟﻤﺤﺎوﻟﺔ‬ ‫اﻟﻨﺎﺟﺢ‬ ‫ﻏﯿﺮ‬‫اﻟﻤﻨﺎﺳﺐ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺜﺎﻟﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﺸﺮﯾﻚ‬ ‫وإﺧﺘﯿﺎر‬
A quick look at the most important reasons for unsuccessful marriage in order to
avoid it and select the perfect suitable partner -Arabic / English-
By M.A. ElDessouky
1439
2018
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2. *:‫اﻟﺰواج‬ ‫ﻧﺠﺎح‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬ ‫أﺳﺒﺎب‬
1.‫)ﻣﻘﺼﻮد‬ ‫اﻟﺼﺮاﺣﺔ‬ ‫أو‬ ‫اﻟﺼﺪق‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬-‫ﺧﺪاع‬-‫ﻣﻘﺼﻮد‬ ‫ﻏﯿﺮ‬ ‫أو‬–‫ﺗﺠﻤﻞ‬-(.
‫اﻟﺮﺋﯿﺴﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﻌﺎﻣﻞ‬‫اﻷﺧﺮى‬ ‫اﻟﻌﻮاﻣﻞ‬ ‫ﻣﻌﻈﻢ‬ ‫واﻟﻤﺆﺛﺮﻓﻰ‬.
2.‫اﻟﻤﺜﺎل‬ ‫ﺳﺒﯿﻞ‬ ‫)ﻋﻠﻰ‬ ‫واﻟﻐﺶ‬ ‫اﻟﺸﺎﺋﻌﺔ‬ ‫اﻟﻌﯿﻮب‬ ‫إﺧﻔﺎء‬،‫اﻟﻜﺬب‬،‫اﻟﺒﺪﻧﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﻀﺮر‬ ،‫اﻟﺴﺮﻗﺔ‬
(‫اﻟﺰﻧﺎ‬ ،‫واﻟﻜﺤﻮل‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺨﺪرات‬ ‫ﺗﻌﺎﻃﻰ‬ ،‫اﻟﺸﺘﺎﺋﻢ‬.
3..‫اﻟﻐﯿﺮة‬ ‫ﻣﻦ‬ ‫ﺑﺪﻻ‬ ‫اﻟﺸﻚ‬
4.‫واﻷﺧﻼق‬ ‫اﻟﻄﺒﺎع‬ ‫ﻓﻰ‬ ‫اﻹﺧﺘﻼف‬.
5.(‫واﻟﺘﻘﺎﻟﯿﺪ‬ ‫)اﻟﻌﺎدات‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺠﺘﻤﻌﻰ‬ ‫اﻹﺧﺘﻼف‬.
6.‫اﻟﺮﻏﺒﮫ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﺼﺪق‬‫اﻟﺘﻐﯿﯿﺮ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ‬ ‫واﻟﻘﺪرة‬.
7..‫اﻟﺘﻐﯿﯿﺮ‬ ‫ﺗﻘﺪﯾﺮ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺒﺎﻟﻐﺔ‬
‫واﻟﺘﻲ‬ ‫اﻟﺰواج‬ ‫ﻗﺒﻞ‬ ‫ﺣﯿﺎﺗﮫ‬ ‫ﺧﻼل‬ ‫واﻟﻄﺒﺎع‬ ‫اﻟﺼﻔﺎت‬ ‫ﻣﻦ‬ ‫اﻟﻌﺪﯾﺪ‬ ‫أﻛﺘﺴﺐ‬ ‫ﻗﺪ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺮء‬ ‫ﯾﻜﻮن‬ ‫ﻣﺎ‬ ‫ﻋﺎدة‬
‫ﺗﻐﯿﯿﺮھﺎ‬ ‫اﻟﺴﮭﻞ‬ ‫ﻣﻦ‬ ‫ﻟﯿﺲ‬‫ﺷﺮﯾﻜﮫ‬ ‫أﺟﻞ‬ ‫ﻣﻦ‬ ‫أو‬ ‫ﻧﻔﺴﮫ‬ ‫اﻟﺸﺨﺺ‬ ‫ﻹرادة‬ ‫ﺳﻮاء‬
8.‫اﻟﺼﺒﺮ‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬‫واﻟﻌﺠﻞ‬.‫اﻟﺘﻐﯿﯿﺮ‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ‬
9..‫اﻟﺘﻌﺎرف‬ ‫ﻣﺪة‬ ‫ﻗﺼﺮ‬
10..‫أھﻤﯿﺘﮭﺎ‬ ‫ﺗﻘﺪﯾﺮ‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬ ‫أو‬ ‫اﻟﺠﻮھﺮﯾﺔ‬ ‫اﻹﺧﺘﻼﻓﺎت‬ ‫رؤﯾﺔ‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬
11..‫اﻟﻤﺠﺘﻤﻌﻰ‬ ‫واﻟﻄﺒﻘﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺎدى‬ ‫ﻟﻺﺧﺘﻼف‬ ‫اﻟﺤﻘﯿﻘﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﺘﻘﺒﻞ‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬
12.‫ﺑﻄﺮﯾﻘﺔ‬ ‫ﻋﻼﺟﮭﺎ‬ ‫وﻛﯿﻔﯿﺔ‬ ‫ﺗﻈﮭﺮ‬ ‫اﻟﺘﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺸﻜﻼت‬ ‫ﻋﻦ‬ ‫ﻣﺴﺘﻤﺮ‬ ‫ﺑﺸﻜﻞ‬ ‫اﻟﺘﻜﻠﻢ‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬
‫ﺗ‬.‫اﻟﻄﺮﻓﯿﻦ‬ ‫ﺮﯾﺢ‬
‫ﻋﺪم‬‫اﻟ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ‬ ‫اﻹﺳﻼﻣﯿﺔ‬ ‫اﻹرﺷﺎدات‬ ‫إﺗﺒﺎع‬‫ﺰواج‬
13.‫واﻟﻔﻀﻞ‬ ‫واﻟﻤﻌﺮوف‬ ‫اﻟﺴﻜﻦ‬ ‫اﻟﺰواج‬ ‫أﺳﺎس‬ ‫أن‬ ‫ﻓﮭﻢ‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬
،‫واﻟﺴﻜﯿﻨﺔ‬ ‫اﻟﺮاﺣﺔ‬ ‫ﻟﯿﺠﺪ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﻨﺰل‬ ‫إﻟﻰ‬ ‫ﻟﯿﺄﺗﻰ‬ ‫ﺧﺎرﺟﯿﺎ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺸﺎق‬ ‫وﯾﻜﺎﺑﺪ‬ ‫وﯾﻌﻤﻞ‬ ‫ﯾﺴﻌﻲ‬ ‫اﻟﺮﺟﻞ‬
‫اﻟﻌﺪل‬ ‫ﻻ‬ ‫ﺑﺎﻟﻔﻀﻞ‬ ‫اﻟﺘﻌﺎﻣﻞ‬ ‫اﻟﺰواج‬ ‫ﻓﻰ‬ ‫اﻷﺳﺎس‬ ‫وأن‬
14.‫اﻟﻤﻮده‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﺰوﺟﯿﺔ‬ ‫اﻟﻌﻼﻗﺔ‬ ‫ﻗﯿﺎم‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬‫واﻟﺮﺣﻤﺔ‬
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3. 15.‫اﻹﺳﻼﻣﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﻨﮭﺞ‬ ‫إﺗﺒﺎع‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬‫اﻟﻄﺮﻓﯿﻦ‬ ‫ﺑﯿﻦ‬ ‫اﻟﺤﻤﯿﻤﯿﮫ‬ ‫اﻟﻌﻼﻗﮫ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ‬
-(‫ﻷﻧﻔﺴﻜﻢ‬ ‫)وﻗﺪﻣﻮا‬ ‫اﻟﻌﻼﻗﺔ‬ ‫ﻗﺒﻞ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺪاﻋﺒﮫ‬
-‫اﻟﻄﺮﻓﯿﻦ‬ ‫ﻛﻼ‬ ‫ﻣﻦ‬ ‫اﻟﺘﺰﯾﻦ‬(‫ﺑﺎﻟﻤﻌﺮوف‬ ‫ﻋﻠﯿﮭﻦ‬ ‫اﻟﺬى‬ ‫ﻣﺜﻞ‬ ‫)وﻟﮭﻦ‬
-‫ﻃﺮف‬ ‫ﻛﻞ‬ ‫وإﺷﺒﺎع‬ ‫إﺳﻌﺎد‬ ‫ﻋﻠﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﺤﺮص‬
16.‫اﻟﺤﺪﯾﺚ‬ ‫ﻓﻰ‬ ‫اﻟﺸﺮع‬ ‫ﺣﺪدھﺎ‬ ‫اﻟﺘﻲ‬ ‫اﻟﺼﺤﯿﺤﺔ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺮأة‬ ‫إﺧﺘﯿﺎر‬ ‫أﺳﺲ‬ ‫إﺗﺒﺎع‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬
.‫اﻟﻨﺒﻮى‬
17.‫واﺿﺤﺔ‬ ‫وآﻟﯿﺔ‬ ‫ﻣﺮﺟﻌﯿﺔ‬ ‫وﺟﻮد‬ ‫ﻋﺪم‬‫ﻋﻠﯿﮭﺎ‬ ‫ﻣﺘﻔﻖ‬.‫اﻟﺨﻼﻓﺎت‬ ‫ﻟﺤﻞ‬
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4. * Reasons for unsuccessful marriage:
1. Dishonesty (intentionally -cheating- or non intentionally -
decoration-).
This is a Major factor, affecting other factors also.
2. Common major defects concealing & cheating (e.g. lying, stealing,
physical harm, swear wards, drinking alcohol & drugs, adultery)
3. Having Doubts rather than being jealous.
4. Differences in manners and tempers.
5. Social differences (customs & traditions).
6. Truthfulness in the Willingness & ability to change.
7. Overestimation of change.
Usually the partner has acquired many traits and habits during his
life before marriage and its not easy to change either for his own will
or for his partner
8. Impatience & hurry for change.
9. Short period of acquaintances.
10. Not seeing the major differences or not appreciating its
importance.
11. Not real acceptance of social class or financial differences.
12. Not continuously talking about the problems arising and
how to solve it in a way that comforts both sides.
Not following Islamic directions in marriage
13. Not understanding that the basis of marriage is tranquility,
virtue & nirvana
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5. The man should go for tough work & Hard life outside the house
then he comes at home while he finds tranquility with his wife, and
the basis for marriage should be virtue not justice (i.e. giving more
not equal)
14. Marriage not based on affection & mercy
15. Not following the Islamic way in making love while marrying
- Foreplay.
- Decorating for the other partner.
- Caring about pleasing and satisfying each other.
16. Not following the prophet PBUH basis for right choice of a
wife.
17. Not having an agreed upon clear reference & mechanism of
conflict resolution
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