Sikh wedding - PDF

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SVT COLLEGE OF HOME SCIENCE
(AUTONOMOUS)
SNDT WOMEN’S UNIVERISITY MUMBAI
Project Report
Submitted to
SVT COLLEGE OF HOME SCIENCE
(AUTONOMOUS)
Department of Human Development
Submitted by
Krittika Nandrajog
Department of Human Development.
SNDT WOMEN’S UNIVERISITY MUMBAI
2016-2017

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CERTIFICATE
This is to certify that Ms. Krittika Nandrajog
has successfully completed her project for the
subject Marriage and Parenting, F.Y BSc under
the guidance of faculty-in-charge.
Faculty-in-Charge
Shilpa Sawalakhe
Head
Department of Human Development
Dr. Suja Koshy

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DECLARATION
I declared that this written submission
represents my ideas and in my own words
and where others ideas or words have been
included, I have adequately cited referenced
the original sources. I also declare that I have
adhered to all principles of academic honesty
and integrity and have not misrepresented or
fabricated or falsified any idea/data/fact/
source in my submission. I understand that
any violation of the above will be cause for
disciplinary action by the institute and can
also evoke the penal action from the sources
which have thus not been properly cited or
from whom proper permission has not been
taken when needed.
Yours Sincerely,
Krittika Nandrajog

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I would like to express my special thanks of
gratitude to my teacher Shilpa Sawalakhe as
well as our principal Dr Jagmeet Madan who
gave me the golden opportunity to do this
wonderful project of Marriage & Parenting on
the topic “Sikh Wedding”, which also helped
me in doing a lot of Research and I came
across many new facts about the same.
Secondly I would also like to thank
Mr & Mrs. Rajdeep Pahwa & Mr. & Mrs. Balveer Randhawa
for their help and support of sharing their
experience and pictures to for the completion of
the project within the limited time frame.

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A project on
Marriage & Parenting)
by
F.Y.Bsc (M.C.E)
SVT College of Home Science
S.N.D.T Womens University

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I
nvitation
earlier used to
be a plain
invitation with an
symbol emphasizing
the blessing of god
on the couple called
“Ek Onkar” but as
time has changed and technology has
progress, people have come up with
various creative
and unique ideas of
invitation.
Invitation

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Rituals
Pre-Wedding
1.Rokha
2.Taka
3.Kurmai
(Engagement)
4.Chunni ceremony
5.Maiya
6.Karahi Charna
7.Nanki Shak
8.Mehendi
9.Sangeet/Cocktail
10.Ghara gharoli
11.Jaggo
On-the-day
1.Choora Ceremony
(bangles ceremony)
2.Sehra Bandi
3.Soorma and Kalgi
4.Ghodi Chadna
5.Barat
6.Kaleri
7.Milni
8.Anand karaj
9.The Laavan
(four prayers)
1.Jhota Chpae
2.Shaggan
3.Doli
Post– Wedding
1.Reception
2.Phera Dalna

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Introduction
T he following project is with regards
to Sikh wedding and its various
rituals. Sikhism, is a monotheistic
religion that originated in the Punjab
region of South Asia during the 15th
century.
The fundamental beliefs of Sikhism,
articulated in the sacred scripture
Guru Granth Sahib, include faith and
meditation on the name of the one creator,
unity and equality of all humankind, engaging
in selfless service, striving for social justice for
the benefit and prosperity of all, and honest
conduct and livelihood while living a
householder's life.
The Sikh wedding presented here is a typical
example of a traditional Sikh wedding being
performed.

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Rokha
T
his is the first step
which is regarded as
an unofficial
engagement ceremony
where meeting of two family
members is arranged at brides
home and the grooms immediate
family members are invited. The
origin of this ceremony lies in the
arranged marriage norm where the parents would let out
the world that they are looking for a suitable match for
their son or daughter. The word Roka means ‘to stop’ And
in this perspective it is to stop the search of partner as the
perfect match has been
found .And once they had
found that match, their
search had come to an end.
Though rings are not
exchanged, the couple
stand unofficially engaged
after this ceremony.
Looking forward to start-
ing the wedding ceremonies. Traditionally when individu-
als weren't allowed to see their mate, Rokha was like an
engagement. But as trends have changed it has been seen to
be celebrated as a grand ceremony with Ardaas done, fol-
lowed by exchange of gifts, sweets to the boy by the girl’s
family and to the girl by the boy’s family. The girl’s mama
ji (Uncle) gives her the nose ring which she would wear on
her wedding. The ceremony usually takes place at the girls
place. The wedding date is fixed after rokha.

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Taka
T he word Taka means to ‘set the date’
After rokha this ceremony is conceded at brides
place to set wedding date and preparations are
made for engagement .
Kurmai (Engagement)
T
his is a formal
engagement
ceremony
which is per-
formed at grooms place or
Gurdhwara. Family mem-
bers are invited and groom
presents the engagement ring. This is also when the brides
family members offer kara (sikh steel bangle) to the groom.
Engagement ceremony is started with a short prayer by
granthi (sikh priest). After which red scarf is placed around
the grooms shoulder
along with dried dates
according to Granth is
instruction and then
grandfather feeds that
dried dated to the
groom after which food
and drinks are enjoyed
by all.

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Chunni ceremony
T his ceremony is performed by mother of the groom
who cover the brides head with chuuni which rep-
resents that from now onwards she is responsible
for upholding the honour and pride of her family. Bride is
dressed in clothing and jewelery by her inlaws. Grooms par-
ents offer shagun (sweets) to bride and her family as bless-
ings and acceptance of engagement. Gifts are exchanged
followed by lavish celebration with lot of music and dance
take place.

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Maiya (cleansing and purifying)
T his function is performed by both families at their
respective homes. This ceremony should be per-
form for 5days in total before wedding. Oil is
brushed into bride
and grooms hair with
olive branches, and
their body is mas-
saged with turmeric
powder. Girls per-
forming maiya has
red string (thread)
tied around their wrist, during this ceremony red scraf is
hold above the bride or groom’s head. At each corner of the
scarf girls take turn to hold scarf and traditional songs are
sung and enjoyed by all.

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Karahi Charna
Another ceremony called 'Karahi
Charna' is held at the bride and
groom's respective homes. Sweet
dishes are cooked in a
large vessel called karahi
and the guests, who come
to bless the bride and the groom will re-
ceive these sweets.
Nanki Shak
In this process gifts are exchanged at
bride and grooms respective home
leading by the uncle. Sometimes a
priest performs small Ardass (ceremony)
before exchange of
gift or this ceremony
can be formal get
together.

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Mehendi
T his ceremony is performed 1or 2
days before wedding. Bride and
groom both are adorned with
henna (mehendi), the
hand and feet are
adorned with
mehendi , eucalyptus
oil, clove oil and
lemon juice water. Traditional dholak is
played and ladies enjoy with folk dance
and song. Ladies in the house also apply
mehendi on their
hands and leg as it
is known as shagun.
Mehendi is suppose
to be symbolize the
love of couple, darker the colour, stronger is
the love.

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Sangeet/Cocktail
One of the
days, usual-
ly high pro-
file in a banquet
hall, ladies sing
traditional songs,
and it is the
eastern version of the western bridal show-
er. There is a sangeet function hosted by
the girl's family, in which just a few close
members of the boy's family are invited.
The girl's family play the dholak drums
and sing songs in which they tease the boy
and his family. Nowadays people hire DJs
and have a dance party followed by din-
ner. A ladies sangeet is held for the bride
and her bridesmaids. The groom’s family
has now come up with
a trend of having a
cocktail party where
their relatives are in-
vited for dance, din-
ner and drinks.

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Ghara gharoli
T he decorated pitcher of water
(ghadoli) is brought for the bride's
bath by the groom's bhabhi
(brother's wife). In the
Ghara Gharoli ritual, the
bride’s sibling or sibling’s
spouse visits the nearby
temple and fills a pitcher
with holy water. The girl is then bathed with
this holy water. Thereafter, the bride wears
their wedding attire. The ghara gharoli and
the vatna ceremonies take place at the groom’s
house too. But over there, the boy’s sister-in-
law brings the pitcher of water. As per the
tradition, their wedding dress is presented to
them by their respective
maternal uncles.

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Jaggo
In this ceremony, the family dances and sings in
the beautifully decorated wedding home. Jaggo
is celebrated in the last hours of the night. They
decorate copper or brass vessel called "khadaa" with di-
veh (clay lamps) and fill them with mustard oil and
light them. The bride/
bridegrooms maternal
aunt (mammi) carries
it on her head, and
another lady will
have a long stick
with bells, and she
will be shaking it. The ladies will then go into other
friends and families homes and be welcomed by sweets
and drinks, they will then dance there and move on. It
is a loud ceremony,
filled with joy,
dancing, fireworks,
and food.

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Choora Ceremony (bangles ceremony)
On the wedding day
the rituals at the
girl’s home begin
with the Chura ceremony.
The oldest maternal uncle and
aunt play an important role in the performance of the
ceremony. Chura is basically a set of red and cream
ivory bangles that is touched by all present which is
gifted by girl's Mamma (mother's Brother) the girl does
not see the chura until
she is ready for the
marriage. People touch
the chura and give their
heartiest wishes to the
girl for her future
married life. Also, they
sprinkle flower petals on the bride.
After that, the girl’s uncle,
aunt, friends and cousins tie
kaliras (silver, gold or gold
plated traditional orna-
ments) to a bangle worn by
the girl.

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Like the bride’s home, the Vatna and Ghara Gharoli
are followed by the dressing up of the groom in his
wedding attire. After
the groom has dressed
up in his wedding
clothes, a puja is per-
formed. Thereafter, the
groom’s sister ties
the sehra on the groom’s
head. After the completion of Sehrabandi ceremony, all
those who witness the function give gifts and cash to
the boy as a token of good luck.
Sarbala
A young nephew or cousin
dons the same attire as the
groom. He is called
the sarbala/
shabbala (caretaker of the
groom) and accompanies
him.
Sehra Bandi

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Soorma and Kalgi
T he father of groom ties turban for him indi-
cating that his son has become mature and
responsible to support this family and start
his new life. His sister in law adds kohl to line his
eyes with soorma and his sister put a feather jewelry
on his turban. As hes about
to leave his sisters stop him
and mischief’s about the ea-
gerness he has to meet his
bride, he is allowed to leave
only after he gifts his sisters.
After being anointed on oil he leave to meet his bride
Ghodi Chadna
T he Ghori Chadna is the final ceremony at
the groom’s place. The groom’s sisters and
cousins feed and adorn his mare. To ward
off the evil eye, people use cash and perform
the Varna ritual. The
cash is then distributed
among the poor. After
this the boy climbs the
horse and leaves his home
for the wedding venue.

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Barat
Most of the
people
performs
this ceremony as fun,
the godi (horse) is
served nuts and groom
assembles on the horse.
Traditional music and
dance is performed by all the family members and they
visit the venue of wedding by dancing.
Traditionally, the barat wedding party would be
composed of the groom's family who traveled to the
home of the bride for the wedding. After the wedding
the bride generally returned home with the groom who
lived with his parent's brothers and other paternal rela-
tives, such as uncles who were brother's of the groom's
father and their father etc. In modern times, prior to
the wedding, the barat may either travel to the bride's
home, or simply convene outside of the gurudwara
wedding hall, where bride and groom's families greet
each other before the
Anand Karaj wedding
ceremony begins.
Factors might include
travel distance
involved, and whether
the wedding ceremony
is simple, elaborate, or
lavish.

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Kaleri
T hese umbrella-shaped hangings are
a unique combination with
the chooda, which signifies
happiness for the newlyweds and eternal
love between the
couple. The bride’s
sisters and friends
tie the kalire to
her chooda. They
are golden or silver
in colour. The
significance is to
provide good
wishes to the bride
and to remind her
of her cousins and
friends whom she
is going to leave behind when she gets
married. Also, the coconut-shape of
the kalire is symbolic that she never runs
out of food in the new home, while the
metal symbolises wealth and prosperity.

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Milni
After arrival of groom and
his side to the venue, bride’s
parents welcome them in a
traditional manner by songs
and hymns, individual
introductions of both the
family members is done
where the foremost family
member is greeted with gar-
lands. This ceremony is per-
formed by priest along with brides family member
mainly by men. After this breakfast is been served to
guest before ceremony begin.

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Anand karaj
This is also known as “ceremony of bliss”
which starts with kirtan- traditional
singing of hymns. The bride is escorted in
by her brothers and uncle while the groom
sits in from of the holy book called
“Guru Granth Sahib”.
The priest leading this ceremony explains
the sikh philosophy of marriage. After
which the couple and their parents are
asked to stand for prayers (ardas).

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The Laavan (four prayers)
Laavan are the four prayers that seals the
marriage, the bride and groom move clockwise
around guru granth sahib as ragis finish the
prayer. The couples bow to the holy book and wait for
next verse. During this
ceremony the groom is given
one end of palla (scarf) on
his shoulder and other end is
hold by bride.
1.First Laava (Emphasizes
the performance of duty to
the family and the
community)
2.Second Laava (Signifies the stage of yearning and love
for each other)
3.Third Laava (Signifies the stage of detachment or
Virag)
4.Fourth Laava (Signifies the final stage of harmony and
union in married life during which human love blends
into the love for God)
After completion of laavan the worshippers showers
flower on the couples in significance of blessing and the
couple are officially married now. The ceremony is ended
with final prayer and distribution of guru Prasad to
guest.

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Jhota Chpae
It means as it goes 'hiding the shoes'.
The bride’s sisters indulge in stealing
of shoes. It is a fun tradition, in
which the girls charge a fee for
agreeing to return the shoes. They de-
mand Kalecharis of gold for the
bride's sisters and of silver for her
cousins.

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Shaggan
In this ceremony all the family members and guest
bless couples with gifts or money for their
best future and life.

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Doli
Vidaai marks the departure
of the bride from her
parental house. As a custom,
the bride throws phulian or
puffed rice over her head.
The ritual conveys her good
wishes for her parents. A
traditionally sad ritual, here the
bride says goodbye to her parents,
siblings and rest of her family. Her
brothers/male cousins then lead her
to her husband, who waits to take
her to his family home to begin her
new life as a married woman. Her
relatives throw coins in the wake of
this procession. In keeping with tradition the mother-in-
law will often not come to the Doli and instead make
preparations at home to greet the arrival of her son and
new wife. The mother-in-law has a glass of water in her
hand, which she circles 3 times
around her bahu and then
offers it to her to drink, as a
symbol of her acceptance and
blessing as her newest daughter.

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Reception
This ceremony is just for
enjoyment and is held by
the groom’s side. It is a
new trend come up to
introduce the new bride to
the family and friends
officially. The reception party is at location where
food and drink is served and guest enjoy with lots of
music and entertainment. The rest of the evening is
spent playing traditional games.
Roti
The bride is served her first meal as married woman.
The meal is safeguarded with crimson shawl and
presented with money and later shared with her
husband.

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Phera Dalna
T he mother-
in-law
gives the
bride jewelry, cash
and gifts. As a part
of Phera Dalna
ritual, the newly
wedded couple visits
the bride’s house on
the next day after marriage. Usually, the girl’s
brother comes to take them back to his home.
The bride’s parents prepare a special lunch.
Also, the
newlyweds
are given
lots of
gifts and
sweets.

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As per the project requirement,
a conversation with an elderly couple
“Mr. & Mrs. Jaswinder Singh Makkar”
and a young couple
“Mr & Mrs. Rajdeep Singh Pahwa”
married in 1986 & 2012 respectively
took place.
After a few questions and elaboration,
the summary framed by me,
Miss. Krittika Nandrajog,
has been presented with the project
in the pages ahead.
This exercise was executed in order to
acknowledge the difference between the
rituals carried on during older times and
today. It also emphasises of jotting
down the knowledge of the new
generation with regards to
rituals and traditions as
compared to elderly couples.

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Mr. & Mrs. Jaswinder
Singh Makkar
got married in the year 1986
and helped in recollecting the
rituals in he correct sequence
very deliberately.
“Each ritual in the
Sikh wedding
holds a different
meaning.
Although today
the bond of
purity is
celebrated with
dance and
alcohol, during our days
people did not prefer spending
money on such a lavish wedding
which would have one
celebrate all the ceremonies at
home rather then booking a
Banquet or hiring an event
planner.” stated Mrs. Makkar.
Mr. Makar added “In spite of
various rituals not being an
essential part of the wedding
they have been included by to-
day’s generation , either for fun
or enjoyment. For instance, the
“Pre-Wedding Shot”
trending amongst youngster
now-a-days an additional
burden of cost and time over the
wedding. During our
days we were lucky
enough if our par-
ents showed us
the photo of our
to-be partner
before the
wedding
ceremony .The
generation today
rarely possess any
knowledge with regards to the
importance and meaning of the
rituals, the only reason they
follow it is the fashion trend or
the elderly members of the
house.” The couple thanked the
SVT faculty for encouraging its
students to research about such
a topic which creates an interest
among themselves with regards
to wedding and its rituals.

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Mr & Mrs. Rajdeep Singh
Pahwa
tied their wedding knot in the
year 2012 as a love-cum-
arrange wedding.
A lavish 5-day
destination
wedding was
organized by
couple and their
families with
500 guest
accompanied.
A reception was
held post-return for
the family and
business friends.
Mr. Rajdeep Pahwa agreed to
the fact of lack of knowledge
about various rituals held
during the ceremonies.
Mrs. Aman Pahwa, took a
rush through her memories and
said, “My grand-parents used
to very often narrate to me
their wedding scenarios in
order to explain the importance
of the rituals and ceremonies
during the wedding, this made
me more over excited to preach
those rituals during the best 5
days of my life. But to my
disgrace many ceremonies have
now been modified due to
various factors like time,
finance, availability etc.
The importance of
certain ceremonies
have disappeared due
to the latest trends.
Taking an example
of the Jaggo
ceremony which is
rarely seen anymore
especially in cities
like Mumbai.
Many other rituals
have similarly been
changed/eradicated with
time.” They concluded,
“Although we are unaware of
the meaning of these rituals ,
one should always try to cope
up with its customs and also
teach about same to the up-
coming generations or else some
day the rituals will fade its im-
portance and we could be left
out with the trends and adap-
tation of western culture.
There is a huge difference in
upgrading and eradicating .”

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Conclusion
W orking on a project of a wedding
in of my own caste made me learn
a whole new aspect of wedding
and it ritual. Researching about rituals which
I personally thought were just a way of
enjoyment gave me a different prospective.
This project help me interact with two
different generations and helped me learn their
point of view on the same topic. The
conversation depicted the change between the
current and previous scenarios clearly. It si-
lently gave a loud message of our culture eradi-
ating from our nerves ad it needs to be sus-
tained in order to pass it on to our upcoming
generation rather then turning the colourful
wedding into the one-day celebration of court
marriage and reception. Thank you to the
faculty for giving us this chance to explore the
concept and rituals of wedding.

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Bibliography
Websites
1) www.projectwedding.com
2) www.myweddingplanning.in
3) www.sikhs.org
4) www.fresnosikhs.org
5) www.sr4u.in
6) www.truelymarry.wordpress.com
7) www.epiceventsorg.wordpress.com
8) www.weddingily.com
9) www.womansera.com/wedding
10) www.cosminfoto.blogspot.in
11) www.bollywoodshaadis.com
Books
1) The Wedding Planner– Sikh Edition
(Mandip Sandhu)

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" They are not
said to be
husband and wife,
who merely sit
together.
Rather they alone
are called
husband and wife,
who have one soul
in two bodies."
(Guru Amar Das, Pauri, pg. 788)

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