Practicing line editing to affect pacing, atmosphere, and tone

2. 1. Collect your outline in the style that works for you: Excel
spreadsheets, color-coded Post-it notes, one written
paragraph scene or chapter, etc.
2. Include everything that happens “on stage” in the book, in the
order that it happens. Don’t try to explain backstory,
motivations, or personality. If a chapter is narrative backstory,
write that. (“The narrator explains how her parents met.”)
3. It’s also helpful to use the outline to note the timeline,
mentioning when each scene happens in relation to the
others.

3. “Write without fear. Edit without mercy.”
- Unknown

6.  “I came into the kitchen and dumped the bags of take-
out on the table. Kelly looked at them skeptically but
didn’t say a word.”
 “I went back to work on Tuesday, though it took every
ounce of my willpower just to pull open the heavy glass
door.”
 “Abby and I met at the end of the driveway and rode our
bicycles through town. We spent our afternoons in the
shadow of a decaying factory, careful not to walk near
the piles of shattered glass from all the broken
windows.”

9. “I was disgusted by what I’d seen on that phone. I felt betrayed by
his affair. But I also knew that Jared was generally a kind, generous
man who’d supported me through some of the worst days of my
life. Could I really leave him?”

10. “I was disgusted by what I’d seen on that phone. I felt betrayed
by his affair. But I also knew that Jared was generally a kind,
generous man who’d supported me through some of the worst
days of my life. Could I really leave him?”
OR
“The screen blurred as my eyes filled with tears. I pictured how
many times I’d washed the sweat out of his clothes, thinking
he’d earned it at the gym. How he needed a break after all of
the time he sacrificed for me last year. I clutched the phone as I
sank to the floor. Could I really leave him?”

12. • I felt angry.
• I sighed in disappointment.
• I was incredulous.
• I wanted to know why he misled me.
• I had changed so much in graduate school—new friends, living in
warmer weather, and a more liberal-leaning environment. But I did
love Rob and missed him when we were apart.

13. • I felt angry.
• I sighed in disappointment.
• I was incredulous.
• I wanted to know why he misled me.
• I had changed so much in graduate school—new friends, living in warmer
weather, and a more liberal-leaning environment. But I did love Rob and missed
him when we were apart.
OR
• “How dare he?”
• I sighed.
• I did a double take.
• Why had he misled me?
• I read his email again. Did Rob even know who I was? Did I know him? My heart
screamed at me. None of it mattered. I still loved him.

14.  Brevity
 Pacing
 Context

16. This book is memoir. It reflects the author’s present recollections of
experiences over time. Some names and characteristics have been
changed, some events have been compressed, and some dialogue
has been recreated.
OR
This work depicts actual events in the life of the author as truthfully as
recollection permits and/or can be verified by research. Occasionally,
dialogue consistent with the character or nature of the person
speaking has been supplemented.

19. Adam took three photos from my rucksack and gave them to
me. “Here, look at these.”
“What about them?”
“Do you know him?”
“I don't think so.”
“You have find out who he is.”
“Why?”
”I can’t tell you that. But it’s about your mom.”
“Here we go again,” I said. “You know something. Why won’t you
tell me? Didn’t you learn the last time that keeping secrets never
helps anyone?”
“My ability to keep secrets saved your ass, little cousin. Never
forget that.”

20. Adam pulled a rucksack from under the table, took out two photos, and
gave them to me. “Here, look at these.”
I made a point of pushing the rucksack aside before I spread the pictures
on the table. These were old digital images, the kind with the time and date
stamped in the corner. 2003. The first showed an older man, getting into a
pickup truck in a parking lot. In the second picture, the same man wore a police
officer’s uniform and smiled directly at the camera. Also 2003.
I didn’t know the man, but I recognized that uniform.
“What about them?” I kept my voice neutral.
“Do you know her?” Adam leaned in, staring at my face.
“I don't think so.” I held his gaze. What was he playing at?
“You have to find out who he is.”
“Why?”
I swear that Adam smirked. “I can’t tell you that. But it’s about your mom.”
“Here we go again,” I snapped. “You know something. Why won’t you tell
me? Didn’t you learn the last time that keeping secrets never helps anyone?”
“My ability to keep secrets saved your ass, little cousin. Never forget that.”
Adam leaned back with a wicked smile.

22. LAST Class!! June 8, 2024
9:00am – 12:00pm
bethjusino@gmail.com