Schmoozing for beginners
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Professional networking and schmoozing are two of the most important skills a librarian can have. They are not taught in MLIS programs, and being proficient at both was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn. In order to get the projects done in my community that I was passionate about, move my library forward, and garner political support, I realized that I needed to take advantage of the many professional and political social opportunities going on around me. This presentation shares many of the tips and tricks that I’ve learned that have been successful for me. For speaking engagements please contact PC Sweeney at http://pcsweeney.com/speaking-at-your-event/
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Schmoozing for beginners
- 1. SCHMOOZING Is NOT a dirty word
- 3. Why Schmooze
- 4. A few things to remember
- 5. It will feel forced
- 6. Small Steps
- 7. Take Breaks
- 8. You’re not that interesting
- 10. Do your Homework
- 13. Take a Breath
- 16. Eye Contact
- 17. Body language
- 18. Personal Space
- 19. Bill Clinton and George Bush
- 20. Handshakes
- 22. Introductions are a lost art
- 23. First Contacts
- 24. Food, Drinks, Eating and Drinking
- 25. Connectors
- 26. Ask Questions
- 27. Listen
- 28. Short Sprints - not a Marathon
- 29. Moving on
- 30. Group Dynamics
- 31. Following up
Editor's Notes
- I can only talk about what worked for me and what didn’t and why. These might not all work for you, but take what you want and throw the rest away. I’m an introvert, but I wasn’t getting what I wanted in my profession or in my life being an introvert so I decided to do something about that.
- Talk about the opportunities that have come up because of schmoozing
- Because it is
- Start by showing up, then standing in the middle of the room, then talking to one person, then introducing yourself to a group
- Look at who is attending the event. Who organized it. What is the theme? (library, business, social, finance,)
- Your elevator speech on who you are and what you’re about is typically 12–20 seconds. At the conclusion, you can have some prepared questions, e.g., “and what about you?” This is a quick way to get your information out, engage others, and give them an opportunity to ask you something about yourself. One hopes they will share something about themselves you can then use in your follow-up questions. If they aren’t connecting after your handshake, eye contact, and elevator pitch, then feel free to walk away. It’s not a problem since you’ve only spent less than a minute trying. -WHO HAS A GOOD PITCH
- Business cards, Pen, lighter (MAYBE cigarettes), charge your phone, WHAT DO YOU BRING WITH YOU
- Before entering a party, take a second and take a deep breath and relax
- Talk the first couple of minutes you see someeone. All the judgements you make etc…
- Positive attitude
- If the boss looks at you longer than at your co-workers during conversations or meetings, it may be a sign your star is rising. A growing body of research shows eye contact signals status and influence in both one-on-one conversations and group meetings … People who are seen as lacking in influence, however, get less eye contact from influential participants in meetings, according to another study published in 2010 in the ‘Journal of Nonverbal Behavior.’ The pattern is strongest among male bosses … The most dominant person in a small group spends more time speaking than others, and also looks longer at others when speaking, the study says. Gazing into others’ eyes is a way of dominating the conversation. High-status women use even more eye contact than men to establish their dominance during meetings, the study says … High-status women tend to be more democratic than men, dividing their eye contact equally among all other participants in a group. High-status men tended to spend more time looking at other high-status participants.” HAVE THEM STARE INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES FOR ONE MINUTE
- Slouching, looking away, folding arms, looking down (it loses all of its effect), angling body away from other people looks like you are ready to leave, touching or fondling hair or face (people who are lying are more likely to touch their face), glancing at the clock, frowning or scowling.
- NO TOUCHING!! But remember this is cultural. Some cultures touch more often, some cultures people stand closer. Woman tend to stand closer to each other, men further apart. If you’re speaking with someone invading your personal space, its ok to politely move on, or ask them to stop, remember you are here to meet people and network with people, there are many other people.
- What are some of the best introductions you know- Give them something to engage you with. Not just what you do, but something about yourself.
- Introducing people, not by their name and occupation, but by their name and similar interests or other interesting things about them
- Try to meet at least one person right away. This helps set your tone for the evening. If you start by standing against the wall, it gets harder to move away from it throughout the night. if possible, introduce yourself to the host and thank them for inviting you.
- I have something in my hand as a crutch. To help me keep from fidgeting. But the bar and food line is a great place to talk to people while everyone is waiting
- At parties there are almost always connectors and it can be fun to be a connector. A connector is someone who builds bridges between people. You can try to identify them at the party. Ask them who you should meet etc… It’s also great to ask people for suggestions to a local bar, restaurant, entertainment, etc… That is also a connector.
- People love to talk about themselves, so always ask open-ended questions. For example, “What did you find fascinating at the conference?” or “How’d you hear about this event?” Try to avoid questions that are complicated or could lead to an awkward conversation. For example, don’t assume people have jobs with questions like “Where do you work?” There are a few other types of questions to avoid: those that point out flaws, personal features, or personal differences. Asking about things that people choose is most likely OK, but characteristics like skin color, gender, sexual orientation, etc. that they don’t choose are not.
- Listening is the best strength you can have because it allows for follow up questions and follow up questions are key to a good conversation
- Spend about 10 minutes each person. Try not to overstay your welcome. Move on frequently when speaking one-on-one with people unless there is some great reason to engage deeper (hopefully there is) but its ok to move on if there isn’t.
- It’s ok to move on – But be sure to do it in a tactful way. Know when to move on. If you’re distracted, unfocused, etc., or if other people are giving those signals, don’t be afraid to wrap the conversation up. You can say something like “I have to make a phone call,” or politely excuse yourself and walk away. If they’re giving signs of boredom or inattentiveness, they’ll probably be thankful you moved on! If you need to talk to someone else, honestly explain that someone you want to speak with has arrived.
- It often helps to approach groups of three or more. You should usually avoid couples since they are generally talking about something that you don’t want to interrupt. But in groups the dynamic is different and the conversation is typically more free flowing. • Pro Tip: Be honest and say something like, “I don’t know anyone here; may I talk to you for a while?” People love feeling important and giving them the power to introduce you can make them feel good. When you become part of a group, watch the body language of the members. Make sure there is always room for someone to join you. Make the group look like a C and not an O. This allows space for people to come and go. It creates an opportunity for the group to change more rapidly so you won’t spend as much time trying to find other groups. • Pro Tip: Try to maintain groups of three or more. If you see the number dwindling, either invite more people over or excuse yourself, unless the person you really want to talk to is one of the last. • Pro Tip: Honest and direct opening lines are all right in a group. Say something such as, “Hello, my name is ___ and I’m with ______.”
- Write notes on cards (this is a good excuse for introverts to take a quick breather). Follow up with people – mention something you discussed, or something you liked, etc…