Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spritual Growth

1. BOOKCLUB
ROAD LESS
TRAVELED
180714
Chapter: Love
:: Dependency
:: Cathexis Without Love
:: Self-sacrifice
GAMBAR COVER BUKU/
GAMBAR PENDUKUNG LAIN
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

2. PREVIOUSLY
Chapter 1 – Discipline
Chapter 2 – Love
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

3. Problems & Pain
+ Life is difficult, but we have discipline as a tool to overcome it
+ Problem? Take time to analyze, then develop effective solution
+ There’s no way to avoid problem
Neurosis & Character Disorder
+ Examine yourself. Accept. Fix.
Escape from Freedom
+ Accept your problem
+ As a human, you have CHOICE
Dedication to Reality, Transference & Challenge
+ The outdated map > UPDATE it
+ Painful, but as long as we are disciplined. . .
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

4. Love Defined
+ Human spiritual evolution = discipline = LOVE
+ Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose
of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth”
Falling in Love
+ FALLING IN LOVE is effortless = LOVE is efforful.
The Myth of Romantic Love
+ There’s no life like fairy tales of princes and princesses.
Ego Boundaries
+ Ego boundaries must be hardened before they can be softened
+ An identity must be established before it can be transcended
+ One must find one's self before one can lose it (give it up)
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

5. DEPENDENCY
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

6. DEPENDENCY
I do not want to live
I cannot live without you
[husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc]
I love him [or her] so much
You are mistaken. It’s a dependency.
When you require another individual
for your survival, you are a parasite
on that individual (negative attachment).
There is no choice, no freedom
involved in your relationship. It is
a matter of necessity rather than love.
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
Copyright Illustration by Brian Rea Instagram.com/freebrianrea

7. DEPENDENCY
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
Passive dependent people are:
- So busy seeking to be loved from others
that they have no energy left to love back
that person or even themselves.
- Never feel “full-filled”.
They basically feel that others
are responsible for their unhappiness.
- Have no real sense of identity.
They define themselves solely by
their relationships.
I.e. a husband, a wife, a mother, a father, a child,
a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a student, a [certain job], etc.

8. How they become like that?
- Lack of love in their childhood.
Parents failed to fulfill their needs for
affection, attention, and care
during their childhood.
- Lack of self-discipline from their childhood.
Parents failed to be a disciplined role model.
They are enter adulthood with
an inner sense of insecurity,
lack of resposibility of themselves.
Other case: it could manifest to an
“addictive personality” on drugs & alcohol.
DEPENDENCY
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

9. Two people
love each other
only when they are
quite capable of
living without each other
but CHOOSE to
live with each other.
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
Copyright Illustration by Brian Rea Instagram.com/freebrianrea
Healthy couples instinctively will switch roles from time to time.
In a sense, each spouse is training himself or herself for survival in the event of the loss of the other.

10. CATHEXIS without love
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

11. - Cathexis extremely limited in communicate.
- Pets satisfactory only insofar as their wills
coincide with ours.
- In our relationship with pets we seek to
foster their dependency.
It is their attachment to us
rather than their independence from us
that we value in our pets.
CATHEXIS WITHOUT LOVE
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

12. CATHEXIS WITHOUT LOVE
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
Study case: Imelda Marcos

13. CATHEXIS WITHOUT LOVE
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
Study case: rich parent

14. CATHEXIS WITHOUT LOVE
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
Study case: Sasaeng Fans

15. CATHEXIS WITHOUT LOVE
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
LOVE = GROWING (nurturing)
CATHEXIS = NOT GROWING

16. SELF SACRIFICE
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

17. SELF SACRIFICE
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
I do it all for you
I didn’t do it for myself
It’s all denying oneself.
They might be confused what is real love.
They maintain their self image as
“loving”, “caring”, “compasionate”,
“good person”.
They didn’t realize it infanting others
and actually losing themselves.
Copyright ScreencaptionMV by BTS

18. SELF SACRIFICE
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
Sadism is the practice of
obtaining pleasure by
inflicting pain and suffering
on another.
Masochism is the practice of
obtaining pleasure by
infliction pain and suffering
on oneself.
Sadomasochism is the practice of
obtaining pleasure by
both inflicting pain and having pain inflicted
upon oneself.
mislead self sacrifice

19. SELF SACRIFICE
The issue of masochism highlights still another
very major misconception about love-
that it is self-sacrifice.
Whenever we think of ourselves as doing
something for someone else, we are in
some way denying our own responsibility.
Whatever we do for someone else we
choose to because it fulfills a need we have.
Whatever we do is done
because we choose to do it,
and we make that choice
because it is the one that
satisfies us the most.
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

20. SELF SACRIFICE
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE
Learn to accept onself.
Learn to express your own
needs, anger, resentments & expectations.
It’s all healthy to the mental health of your own and your family
as the self sacrifice (and therefore that love) must be manifest
in confrontation as much as in beatific acceptance.

21. THANK YOU
TRLT: DEPENDENCY, CATHEXIS, SELF-SACRIFICE

22. THANK YOU
lia s. Associates