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有两个女孩子。一个叫 Tessica 和一个叫 Eleadore。
Tessica 很高和她穿黑色和白色的衣服因为她非常爱熊
猫。她有黑色的帽子和白色围巾。
Eleadore 不又高又矮 不高也不矮。 她喜欢穿什么颜
色都的衣服 都 喜欢穿 (我爱你的 use of 新的 patterns, 非常
adventurous!这是非常好的学习中文的 attitude 和 method!)。她爱 fashion
和买好看的衣服。
她们是好朋友。
她们都去一个学校。别的学校的学生开派对。这个学生
的名字是 Sullivan Fletcher。Fletcher 是 Tessica 的好朋
友所以 Tessica 想要 Eleadore 跟 Fletcher 做朋友。如果他
们都是好朋友,他们可以常常 hang out 一起玩儿。
一天,Tessica 跟 Eleadore 问 Eleadore:“你想要跟我
一起去 Fletcher 的派对吗?”
可是 Eleadore 说“啊啊啊,不用了。”
“哎呀!怎么 Eleadore 怎么 跟 Fletcher 做朋友,如
果她不去派代对?”Tessica 觉得 想。(觉得 is used for
expressing opinions and perspective; 想 can be used as “think”.
They are similar but different. 还有,你的中文 slang phrases 太好
了!)
她知道虽然 Fletcher 很酷,但是他没有好看的衣服。
他没有 style。可是 Eleadore 有非常非常好的 style。
所以,Tessica 跟 Eleadore 说“在星期五你想要跟我
买衣服吗?”
Eleadore 说“啊啊啊,对。”
在晚上,Tessica 给 Fletcher 打电话。
“你好!”Tessica 说“在星期五你忙不忙?”
“哦,我不忙。怎么办了?”(怎么办 = how to do
something; For example, when you made a mess and want to amend the
problem, you can ask people 怎么办?怎么了 just means “what’s
up”, similar to 什么事儿?)
“你想要跟我买衣服吗?在你的派对你可以穿新衣服!”
“酷毙了!对!”
所以在星期五 Tessica 起床和吃早饭。她非常非常快乐。
她洗碗和给 Fletcher 和 Eleadore 发短信。然后她骑自行车
去 Mall 在 river。(Such a hardworking Tessica)
可是!她看到很多自行车 traffic!然后她看到
Fletcher 给她发短信。他说他在 mall 和他等待!Tessica
想要在 mall。她骑自行车快快快。可是这个 traffic 很太
大了!她哪儿都不去 nowhere!(This is an advanced version of
the “expressing no/all” pattern.)
然后她看到森林的路。没有人骑自行车载 在 森林的路!
Tessica 骑自行车在森林的路,可是她不知道在 mall!她很
lost!You can rephrase this as 她不知道怎么走。
哎呀!她看到 Eleadore 给她发短信。她也在 mall!她
也等待!
Tessica 很 nervous。她现在想要跟她的朋友在 mall!
她骑自行车快快快。可是,她看一个 river。Tessica 知道
这个 mall 是 near 这个 river。现在 Tessica 不是 lost 还
有她骑自行车去 mall。
在 mall,Tessica 看到她的好朋友。她很快乐因为她看
到 Fletcher 跟 Eleadore 聊天。她跑路去她的朋友和说“你
们好!!!”(Yay, she made it! Also, 跑 means “to run”, 跑
pǎo
步
bù
also means “to run/to run steps”, 跑
pǎo
路
lù
means “to flee, after
committing a crime”)
Fletcher 和 Eleadore 都说“啊!你好 Tessica!”
Tessica 说“不好意思!对不起!我很非常非常
late。”(Only need 很 or 非常) 可是她们的朋友都说“没关
系!”
然后,她他们都买好看的衣服,和 Eleadore 跟
Fletcher 做好朋友。
Final Comment: 我很喜欢你的 story, 因为它有 characters, plots,
plot twists 和快乐的 ending。还有,你 用
yòng
(to use)了非常多的新的
vocab 和 patterns, 把它们 放
fàng
在
zài
story,可以 enrich the story。所以,
如果你想要你的朋友跟你的别的朋友做朋友,你 need to 在森林 get lost
first. LOL 

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马赢的故事 Revised

  • 1. 有两个女孩子。一个叫 Tessica 和一个叫 Eleadore。 Tessica 很高和她穿黑色和白色的衣服因为她非常爱熊 猫。她有黑色的帽子和白色围巾。 Eleadore 不又高又矮 不高也不矮。 她喜欢穿什么颜 色都的衣服 都 喜欢穿 (我爱你的 use of 新的 patterns, 非常 adventurous!这是非常好的学习中文的 attitude 和 method!)。她爱 fashion 和买好看的衣服。 她们是好朋友。 她们都去一个学校。别的学校的学生开派对。这个学生 的名字是 Sullivan Fletcher。Fletcher 是 Tessica 的好朋 友所以 Tessica 想要 Eleadore 跟 Fletcher 做朋友。如果他 们都是好朋友,他们可以常常 hang out 一起玩儿。 一天,Tessica 跟 Eleadore 问 Eleadore:“你想要跟我 一起去 Fletcher 的派对吗?” 可是 Eleadore 说“啊啊啊,不用了。” “哎呀!怎么 Eleadore 怎么 跟 Fletcher 做朋友,如 果她不去派代对?”Tessica 觉得 想。(觉得 is used for expressing opinions and perspective; 想 can be used as “think”. They are similar but different. 还有,你的中文 slang phrases 太好 了!) 她知道虽然 Fletcher 很酷,但是他没有好看的衣服。 他没有 style。可是 Eleadore 有非常非常好的 style。
  • 2. 所以,Tessica 跟 Eleadore 说“在星期五你想要跟我 买衣服吗?” Eleadore 说“啊啊啊,对。” 在晚上,Tessica 给 Fletcher 打电话。 “你好!”Tessica 说“在星期五你忙不忙?” “哦,我不忙。怎么办了?”(怎么办 = how to do something; For example, when you made a mess and want to amend the problem, you can ask people 怎么办?怎么了 just means “what’s up”, similar to 什么事儿?) “你想要跟我买衣服吗?在你的派对你可以穿新衣服!” “酷毙了!对!” 所以在星期五 Tessica 起床和吃早饭。她非常非常快乐。 她洗碗和给 Fletcher 和 Eleadore 发短信。然后她骑自行车 去 Mall 在 river。(Such a hardworking Tessica) 可是!她看到很多自行车 traffic!然后她看到 Fletcher 给她发短信。他说他在 mall 和他等待!Tessica 想要在 mall。她骑自行车快快快。可是这个 traffic 很太 大了!她哪儿都不去 nowhere!(This is an advanced version of the “expressing no/all” pattern.) 然后她看到森林的路。没有人骑自行车载 在 森林的路! Tessica 骑自行车在森林的路,可是她不知道在 mall!她很 lost!You can rephrase this as 她不知道怎么走。
  • 3. 哎呀!她看到 Eleadore 给她发短信。她也在 mall!她 也等待! Tessica 很 nervous。她现在想要跟她的朋友在 mall! 她骑自行车快快快。可是,她看一个 river。Tessica 知道 这个 mall 是 near 这个 river。现在 Tessica 不是 lost 还 有她骑自行车去 mall。 在 mall,Tessica 看到她的好朋友。她很快乐因为她看 到 Fletcher 跟 Eleadore 聊天。她跑路去她的朋友和说“你 们好!!!”(Yay, she made it! Also, 跑 means “to run”, 跑 pǎo 步 bù also means “to run/to run steps”, 跑 pǎo 路 lù means “to flee, after committing a crime”) Fletcher 和 Eleadore 都说“啊!你好 Tessica!” Tessica 说“不好意思!对不起!我很非常非常 late。”(Only need 很 or 非常) 可是她们的朋友都说“没关 系!” 然后,她他们都买好看的衣服,和 Eleadore 跟 Fletcher 做好朋友。 Final Comment: 我很喜欢你的 story, 因为它有 characters, plots, plot twists 和快乐的 ending。还有,你 用 yòng (to use)了非常多的新的 vocab 和 patterns, 把它们 放 fàng 在 zài story,可以 enrich the story。所以, 如果你想要你的朋友跟你的别的朋友做朋友,你 need to 在森林 get lost first. LOL 