Restoring Your Marriage Vows

RESTORING YOUR
MARRIAGE VOWS
Importance of honoring these
vows are crucial to the very root
for growth and protection of a
healthy society.
Thursday,October9,2014
1

It is not only the value of
marriage which appears to be
disappearing, but it also
appears that the importance of
the honoring of the marriage
vows is disappearing too.
2

Without the honoring of the vows,
the vows become a contract It
negates the entire essence of the
vows – “it does not matter what
you do to me or for me or what you
don’t do, I will always keep my side
of this marriage no matter what” –
a covenant, ‘til death do us part!
3

The importance of Marriage vows really
struck me when I attended my
daughter’s friend wedding last Saturday
. I listened carefully as the Reverend
who was wedding the couple asked the
bridegroom and the bride to read their
vows. This matter is taken so lightly
without much thought. I started thinking
about these vows and how important
they are to us in marriage.
4

WE STAND IN PUBLIC TO VOW.
What then happens when we do not
honour these vows? Think about it.
Have you honoured your vows?. If
not, there is room to repent and go
back and restore them in your
marriage. Don’t give up because
you have failed. Failure is not fatal.
5

MARRIAGE VOWS HAVE BEEN FORGOTTEN
Hence we need to :
Bring back or attempt to bring
back to the original state where
we started
Repair all areas that have
become crooked
Bring back to health our
marriage wows
6

Reinstate our first love
Bring back to a former
condition as we know where we
failed
Restoring back to the original
state the vows as we stated
them on the Wedding Day.
7

In one of the Newspapers in
Kenya some men said: “where
are the good women?” Kenyan
men bemoan the lack of
supportive, genuinely loving
Kenyan woman, and described
what the ideal woman would look
like to them.” This is a great
concern.
8

Psalm 11:1-3
In the LORD I take refuge. How then can
you say to me: "Flee like a bird to your
mountain. For look, the wicked bend their
bows; they set their arrows against the
strings to shoot from the shadows at the
upright in heart. When the foundations
are being destroyed, what can the
righteous do?"(NIV)
9

Matthew 7:24-27
"Therefore everyone who hears these
words of mine and puts them into
practice is like a wise man who built his
house on the rock. The rain came down,
the streams rose, and the winds blew
and beat against that house; yet it did
not fall, because it had its foundation on
the rock.
10

But everyone who hears these
words of mine and does not put
them into practice is like a foolish
man who built his house on sand.
The rain came down, the streams
rose, and the winds blew and beat
against that house, and it fell with a
great crash.“ (NIV)
11

You must lay strengthened
foundations that can withhold
any forces that comes to
destroy our marriages. Lets go
back to the designer of
marriage.
12

COMPLAINTS FROM MEN
I am not biased where but many men
have run away from their marriages
and have complained so much about
their wives. What their expectations
were as they wedded were never
met. Hence the following is just a
part of what the Kenyan men have
complained of.
13

Men liken the possibility of finding a
good Kenyan woman to searching for
a pin lost in a field of nappier grass.
They claim the good women are few
and far between, and it would take real
work to unearth them. Most men claim
that they have difficulties finding a
woman to meet their emotional needs,
share their successes and frustrations
and settle down and have children
with.
14

Most men fault habits like
nagging, not stroking his ego
regularly or fulfilling his several
needs, not cooking, ironing,
and neglecting to take care of
him. These they say, are the
magical ingredients that are
found only in few Kenyan
women.
15

One man said, “To find a good
woman in Kenya, you will have
to go to the remotest part of
this country where values are
still upheld.
16

At no other time have men agreed
being beaten by women and at no
other time have women been more
aggressive. Why? A quick answer
would be that they are venting out
their anger. Husbands who no
longer provide; not only food and
school fees, but also conjugal
rights.
17

There are many cracks in the
marriage building; cracks of
anger, immorality, HIV/AIDS,
divorce, drugs, gay marriages,
lesbianism etc. The cracks are
too many and scary.
18

Despite its importance, the
marriage institution today is faced
with diverse challenges; rape,
incest and divorce, suicide,
unfaithfulness and violence.
Whether we look at it from a
Christian or non-Christian view
point, the institution is in serious
trouble.
19

Marriage is an empty box which
you fill with promises to be
appropriated.
I believe God will restore what
the locusts have eaten in our
families. But we must also
restore the vows that we took.
20

Let me remind you; When
people first get married, they
are so anxious, fearful and
tired. 5 years, 10 – 40 or 50 –
marriage is not a contract – it is
a covenant and it is before God.
21

MARRIAGE VOWS
I………………..
Take you ………………………..
To be my wedded wife (husband)
To have and to hold, from this day
forward
For better for worse,
For richer for poorer
22

In sickness and in health
To love and to cherish (and obey)
Till death do us part,
According to God’s holy ordinance
And thereto, I give you my pledge
(Sign – rings. Where are they now)
“You may now kiss the bride”
23

During last Saturday’s wedding
after the Bridegroom was asked to
kiss the Bride, the congregation in
the church was so excited that
they demanded again for the
Bridegroom to kiss the Bride. I
wondered whether the kiss is more
important than the vows that had
been made.
24

LETS LOOK AT THE VOW
1. I take you. It was not by force – it
was a choice
2. To be my lawful wedded
husband/wife .
25

3. For Better for Worse; even if
situations are not working well
you need to sort them out.
There are no marriages in
heaven, so work for yours now.
26

4. For Richer for Poorer. Riches
can be a blessings or a curse. I
know so many couples, when
they were poor, they loved each
other. But now, each can do
without the other financially, so
they don’t care.
27

God has vested interest in this
companionship, because He is looking
forward for it to produce godly children. –
to populate heaven, for Him to share all
that He has in heaven.
Malachi 2:15 – Has not the Lord made them
one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And
why one? Because He was seeking godly
offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit,
and do not break faith with the wife of your
youth.
28

 5. In sickness and in health.
Sickness is not always
physical. Are you there with
your spouse in times of any
manner of sickness?
Depression, obesity, cancer,
hypertension, etc
29

6. To love and cherish (Obey).
Cherish means:
Protect or tend longingly
Hold dear
Cling to
Under cherish, for ladies we say
obey
Cherish…. Read letter of man
upset with his life.
30

7. Till death do us part. Divorce has
become so common, even among
Christians.
Malachi 2:16 – God hates it. If you
want to do something that God
hates, then study it:
God hates it
31

It affects your children. One
child said to parents – if you
divorce, I will commit suicide
It leaves scars
32

8. Now kiss the bride!! When was the
last time? I used to think it is the
problem of the men until I talked to
some and they said – ‘look at those
women, are they kissable?’
Naomi to Ruth – wash, perfume and
nice dress – story
Night dress
Women ware sending our husbands
away!
33

Would agree with the Kenyan
men? I never agreed with them as I
believe you are given a wife and it
is your responsibility to make the
wife you want from your wife.
Don’t compare and contrast. It is
the responsibility of the wife too to
make the husband she wants from
her husband.
34

Go back to your dating times
and bring them to your
situations today. You will
amazed and blame yourself. Do
the most to honour your vows.
35

FINALLY
Marriages are made in heaven,
but maintained here. Wedding
is an occasion but marriage is
for life. Are you maintaining
yours? There is a difference
between a well-maintained car
and that never goes for service!

36

Restoring Your Marriage Vows

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