Resiliency factor

Resiliency Factor

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Resiliency Factor

Hope as Resiliency Factor by Tammy Dyer, MSW(published in the Fall 11 issue)
Authoring this section for the Empowerment Magazine has quickly turned into a huge blessing for me. I am delighted to know there are so many of
us dedicated to infusing ourselves and our community with strength and well-being. However, due to a series of sad events that have transpired
since the last publishing, I find I am struggling to find the right words to say. While my vision for this segment is to be positive and uplifting, I am
also keenly aware that life is hard and sometimes very painful. So I find myself digging deeper in my quest to bring us all a little closer to realizing
our own resilient potential.

Wikipedia reports Psychological Resilience as the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and adversity. So what precisely is this
“positive capacity” that gives us the strength to try one more time when really all we want to do is give up? In my last article I mentioned a number
of factors that contribute to resiliency such as spirituality, adequate support, and the ability to see one’s problems as solvable. And I also talked
about hope. Hope is the spark that ignites the process of change.

In my life, hope came when I saw others overcoming the same obstacles I had been struggling with for so long. I recall the story of a woman who was
my dear friend some years back. She carried with her an energy that just naturally attracted those who were seeking spiritual strength. She radiated
love and compassion, and her eyes always twinkled. To know her was to love her. To know her well was to understand her miracle. You see,
years before she had pushed a shopping cart around downtown Sacramento, wearing every piece of clothing she owned, and talking to things that
only she could see.
Once she overcame her difficulties she carried with her a powerful gift that cannot be learned through formal education, professional experience,
or therapeutic intervention. She had the power of example and with that the gift of hope. The hope is this: “If she can do it, so can I” and “if I can do it,
so can you.” Every scary shameful place I had been, she had been; but more importantly, she wasn’t there anymore.

This past month has not been an easy one for the people in my life that I care about. We have all been reminded of the pain caused by the loss of
hope. We attended the funerals of two people, both of whom took their own lives. Although I was not especially close to either of them, I was there
to support those they left behind.I have spent the days since then trying to better understand the depth of pain that comes from the loss of hope
because I know that someone reading this article will be standing on the edge of the cliff trying to decide if it is worth it to even try anymore. If that is
you, please keep reading this article.
I have another dear friend who made a very serious suicide attempt some years back after the death of her adult son. She talks about the
hopelessness of that moment and about being thoroughly convinced that her family and friends would be better off without her. She was very close to
the edge but then something happened that changed her mind. Let me have her tell you in her own words: “I thought I heard the voice of my son,
who had died about ten years before, pleading with me not to take my life. Whether I actually ‘heard’ his voice I cannot say, but I felt hope
flooding through my despair. Instead of dying, I learned how to live with hope as my guiding light. When things get tough, as they do for all of us, I
am able to look at the life I have lived since that day and know that whatever I need to walk through, it is worth it. By living instead of dying I get
to experience so much joy that I would have completely missed.

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Resiliency Factor

I have a close, loving relationship with him today that I would have completely missed. I have come to a place of recovery through hope and faith, and
no longer feel the overwhelming depression that had haunted me throughout my life until that moment of complete despair. I no longer live in the pain
of the past, but in the hope of the future. I realize just how terribly my death by suicide would have affected the people I most love, especially
my grandson who is now 24 years old and who has been able to see his father through my eyes. I know today that when emotional pain comes
calling that I can have faith that it will pass. I know the only way to get through it is to go through it rather than over, under, or around it. Then it is
behind me and I don’t have to meet it again around the corner.
Life is challenging, but there is so much good in living each day as it comes, understanding through faith and hope that each challenge is worth
meeting in order to get to the next happiness, which may be only a moment away. To come from such despair to where I am now, embracing the
realities of life and knowing nothing is worth dying prematurely for, I can only describe as ‘true freedom.’”

As our conversation came to an end, I asked my friend if she was able to turn her life around all by herself. She replied “Absolutely not. I had to reach
out for help and then be willing to accept the help that was offered to me. I had reached out for help before but had not been willing to accept what
was offered. This time I really listened and took the suggestions offered and things got better.”

To anyone reading this article, I want to remind you that “hopeless” is just a feeling and feelings are not facts. Feelings pass if given time. Please do
not give up before your miracle arrives. Your moment of “true freedom” may be closer that you think. If you are hurting today, please tell someone.
As human beings, we are not meant to carry our burdens alone. No matter what the voice in your head says, you do matter, life can get better, and
help is available.

"No matter what the voice in your head says, “You do matter, life can get better, and help
is available"
■

Visit The Samaritans at http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/samaritans.htm & send them an anonymous e-mail
■

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TTY:1-800-799-4TTY)
■

Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999
■

Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
■

Check www.sacpros.org for more resources such as finding a therapist or other mental heath services
■

Join a support group or get individual mentor services at the Wellness and Recovery Center - See the “Did You Know Section” of the Fall 2011 issue
for more details (see page 16)

Resiliency Factor by Tammy Dyer, M.S.W. (published in the Summer 2011 issue)


Resiliency Factor

My life has not ended up where I thought it would...thankfully. I was one of those children who received
messages, both verbal and non-verbal, that she was not going to be worth much. And I bought it, for a
while. And then the course of my life changed, and then it changed again, and again. Until I reached a
place where I was able to break free from the lies and fully embrace the realization that I am deserving
and able to create a healthy, happy life for myself. This article is written to illuminate one of the most
powerful principles I have discovered in my wellness process.

The universe has brought me a number of amazingly special people as I have navigated down my life’s
path. Interestingly enough, these folks have always showed up at just the right time to help me overcome
whatever was blocking my ability to be healthy and whole at that point in my life. One lady in particular,
Mrs. V., came along at just one of these times. Mrs. V. was a very spunky, animated, fun-loving 75-year-
old Vietnamese woman who came to the United States in 1955 as the bride of an American serviceman.
To say she had a fascinating story would be an understatement.

I believe the gift I received from her was the infusion of the concept of “resiliency” into my way of thinking.
Since early childhood, I have had a place inside of me that has always felt lost. It is the place where my
sadness lives. Sometimes that place feels big enough to swallow me whole and sometimes it becomes
so small I forget it is there. It is always a place desperate for hope. In Mrs. V I found a woman who was
overflowing with hopefulness. She seemed to have enough for the both of us and I found myself being
drawn more and more to her spiritual presence. No matter what came her way, she would declare it to be
a cause for celebration. To her, obstacles were seen not as hardship but rather as opportunities for
growth and spiritual strengthening. That concept was new to me. I mean, I would have a meltdown just
trying to choose a type of breakfast cereal at the grocery store.

In May of 2006 Mrs. V allowed me to interview her for one of my Social Work classes.

Tammy Dyer, M.S.W.

At the end of the interview she shared with me some of her memories from the war. People around her were sick and dying. Families struggled to find
enough food to eat. Husbands, sons, and brothers were lost to the war.

Her community underwent a complete cultural upheaval as hundreds of thousands of women found themselves suddenly head of their household, needing
to find some way to provide for their families. I was amazed at the manner in which she relayed her stories. There was never even a hint of defeat. I did at
one point try to move the conversation toward the idea of adversity. Mrs. V simply translated my statement into another example of resilience and continued
to tell her story. Her story was not a story of victimization, but rather of determination. By the end of the interview I was hooked. I wanted what she had.
I altered my direction academically and personally to incorporate the concept of resilience into my journey.

What I found is that resiliency factors can be divided into several distinctive categories:Personality: Resilience is attributed to certain characteristics a
person carries within their self that contribute to positive healthy outcomes in spite of external chaos. A number of personality characteristics have
been identified as contributing to resilience, including humor, empathy, and an easy temperament. These personality traits lend themselves to the likeability


Resiliency Factor

of a person. A person who is likeable will presumably have more friends and therefore more support. This seems to be of particular importance during
the adolescent years when peer support becomes developmentally vital, but it also holds true into adulthood.

Locus of control: Perception of self and the problem. People who see themselves as having control over their lives tend to be healthier, happier, and
more able to overcome difficulties. Likewise, those who see the problem(s) as being outside of their control tend to become more discouraged,
depressed, and less able to take corrective action. People who believe they can create changes in their lives will act in ways congruent to that belief, such
as getting an education, seeking services, or calling on their support system for help. A closely related resiliency factor is determination. Someone
who believes they are able to make changes in their life will be more inclined to override the desire to give up when things seem unbearable.

Cognitive abilities and education: A person who has the cognitive ability to think through life’s difficulties and then develop and implement a plan of action
is much more likely to avoid becoming stuck and discouraged. Directly connected to cognitive abilities is education. Being educated either formally through
an institution or therapeutically regarding the nature of one’s presenting problem can be beneficial in acquiring resilience. For many people, formal
education is seen as the key to upward mobility and the overcoming of personal, cultural, and societal barriers. It provides a sense of empowerment
and control over one’s future. Psychosocial education can provide the same benefit in regard to a person taking control of some barrier to success, such
as recovering from an addiction or mental illness.
Spirituality and religion. While religion and spirituality are related, they are in fact separate, distinct constructs. Religion is an external, ritualized expression
of spirituality. Religion can be an external protective factor which complements internal spiritual resilience. For some, finding a higher purpose has been
a necessary component to their health and well-being. The term higher purpose can be defined as the ways and means whereby a person creates meaning
in their life. A person with resiliency will find a way to create meaning out of adversity. In essence, spirituality empowers people to cope with stressors
by transforming negative events into opportunities for personal growth.

Culture and Family. A sense of belonging and connectedness can result from having strong family support or a positive cultural identity. Besides
providing support and structure, feeling connected to one’s family or community brings a sense of responsibility. It is common for a person struggling
with seemingly overwhelming obstacles to find the determination to continue because to give up would bring sorrow to the people they care
about.Communication. It stands to reason the effectiveness of other resiliency factors such as cognitive abilities, social support, and education would
depend largely on one’s ability to communicate. Someone who can communicate their needs in a constructive manner is more likely to solicit a
positive response from the environment.

Conclusion: Resiliency can be summed up as an individual’s ability to negotiate with the environment to get their needs met. Those who have healthy,
positive negotiating skills are called resilient; those who do not are referred to as self-destructive. The good news is most resilience factors can be learned.
It is common for someone, as part of their wellness journey, to return to school, receive cognitive-behavioral counseling, or join a support group or
religious organization. However, I believe the most powerful ally in obtaining resiliency is the introduction of hope. As the consumer movement begins to
come into full bloom in the mental health field, more people, myself included, are finding the strength to openly identify as persons with significant
mental health struggles. In so doing we are able to become a living example of hope. We are able to show that we can and do recover and go on to
live amazingly full, satisfying lives. I am continually amazed at just how far a person can go on just the tiniest bit of hope. Resiliency is a dynamic, fluid
process that changes over time as a person grows and matures. All people, unless severely disabled, engage in this process. As with other
lifelong processes, resiliency is always a work in progress. With individual willingness and appropriate intervention such as education and support,
resilience can be acquired at any stage in life.

Tammy received her MSW from CSUS in 2007. She specializes in Mental Health and is committed to the Consumer
Movement. She believes strongly in the Recovery Model and is committed to helping our community overcome
misconceptions that lead to the stigmatization of persons with mental health issues. She is currently employed by
Consumers Self Help as their Clinical Director where she enjoys teaching therapeutic classes. She is the proud mother of
two adult sons. Her passion is photographing blossoms.


Resiliency Factor

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reproduction, modification, storage in a retrieval system or re-transmission, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical or otherwise, for reasons other than personal use, is strictly
prohibited without prior written permission from the author/publisher. Empowerment Magazine is a quarterly online and in print mental health publication devoted to the promotion of overall
wellness and resiliency for the Greater Sacramento region. The magazine is published by www.sacpros.org,a leading mental health website dedicating to strengthening and empowering
individuals and families with reliable and easily accessible information about available services in the community. If you have any questions, please e-mail contact@empowermentmagazine.org


Resiliency factor

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