This document discusses various topics related to relationships, including what people look for in relationships, definitions of intimacy, the role of love, experiences with relationships when unhappy with one's body, how media portrayals influence ideas of relationships, experiences in interracial relationships, impacts of children on relationships, obstacles in relationships such as communication issues, and how past sexual abuse can affect relationships as well as ways of healing from such trauma. It provides perspectives from different individuals on these relationship-related topics.

1. Relationships
KARINA WALLACE

2. What are you looking for in
a relationship?
•
PATIENCE
•
MUTUAL RESPECT, EQUAL RESPONSIBILITY, CONFIDENCE, TRUST, AND SEXUAL
COMPATIBILITY
•
MONOGAMOUS
•
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
•
SOMEONE TO SHARE MY LIFE WITH
•
SOMEONE THAT BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN ME AND IS THERE FOR ME

3. 

How do you
define and
express
InTiMaCy?
BY TELLING SECRETS
BY SHOWING INTIMATE
GESTURES LIKE NOSE TO
NOSE TOUCHES

PHYSICAL TOUCH AND
EMOTIONAL HONESTY

LAUGH

SEX

HOLD HANDS, BACK RUBS,
KISSES

SHARING INSIDE JOKES

BEING ABLE TO READ
YOUR PARTNER’S
FEELINGS

4. What role has love played or not in relationships?
Making love with someone you love not just because they are hot or wanted it.
There has to be good intentions, feelings in a relationship.
Sex organisms
Sex is better when in love.
Love as actions partners show

5. Percentage of Women Married by Age
Age
15% 1% 14%
15-19
20-34
35-44
23%
24%
45-54
55-64
23%
65+

6. What is it like to be in a relationship when you
don’t like some or all of your own body?

I WAS IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT I FELT LUCKY THAT THEY WANTED ME BECAUSE I WAS TOO FAT.
I DIDN’T WANT TO BE IN THEM.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTION HAS TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

HUSBAND POINTED OUT MY CURVES EVEN WHEN I WAS PREGNANT.

I ENJOYED MY OWN PHYSICALITY AND THE PHYSICAL PRESENCE OF OTHERS

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I EXPERIANCED, MASTURBATE, READ EROTICA NOW THAT I AM
MARRIED AND HAVE TWO KIDS I FEEL LOST.

JEALOUS OF LOVER’S BODY

HAVING SEX WITH OTHER TRANS WOMEN HELPED ME WITH MY OWN BODY.

MY HUSBAND WAS NOT HAPPY WITH MY SMALL CHEST, I HAD TO BUY PUSH UP BRAS.

I HATED MY BODY BECAUSE I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED BUT NOW I FEEL SAFE IN
RELATIONSHIPS.

7. •
•
TRANS RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT
ON TV
•
How do media
images and portrayals
of relationships affect
your idea of an “ideal
relationship?
PEOPLE THAT FIT THE
STEREOTYPE OF A WOMEN THIN
, PRETTY AND WHITE AND
BLONDE FEEL THEY HAVE
PRIVILEGES.
LIFETIME MOVIES SHOWING
HAPPY LOVING RELATIONSHIPS
•
DISNEY FILMS
•
INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS
LACK ON TV
•
LESBIAN TV SHOWS NOT
SHOWN
•
GOOD REPRESENTATION OF
BLACK WOMEN RELATIONSHIPS
LACK IN TV
•
FAT GIRL NOT PORTRAYED ON
TV

8. What are your experiences in relationships
that span racial differences?
NIDEA- DOMINICAN GIRL DATING AN IRISH AMERICAN. AUNTS AND UNCLES
WOULD PRAISE HER SHE GOT A GOOD ONE BUT PARENTS THOUGHT SHE WAS A
HO THINKING THE ONLY REASON A WHITE MAN WOULD WANT THEIR DAUGHTER
IS BECAUSE OF SEX AND SHE WAS A VIRGIN.
ZOE DATED A WHITE JEWISH MAN AND SHE WAS BLACK. IF THEY WENT OUT SHE
WOULD BE ASHAMED OF HER BOYFRIEND AROUND OTHER BLACK MEN.

9. •
•
Children and the
affects in a
relationship
DIFFERENT AGES IN A
RELATIONSHIP MAKE A
DIFFERENCE. IF THE GUY IS
WAY OLDER HE MIGHT BE
DONE WITH KIDS.
BOTH PARTNERS COME
FROM BIG FAMILIES SO
THEY WANT A LOT OF KIDS
•
THE EXPERIENCE OF
PREGNANCY
•
CAREER FIRST
•
PARTNER’S MANY
PARTNERS MIGHT AFFECT
THEIR CHILDREN SEEING
AND ACCEPTING ITS
NORMAL (BE AN
EXAMPLE)

10. GOOD COMMUNICATION IS
WORK
Obstacles in
Relationships
HAVING NEWBORNS
MONEY
HOUSEKEEPING
WORK SCHEDULE
COOKING
RESPECT
LIVING SPACE

11. SEXUAL ABUSE AND VIOLENCE AFFECTING
RELATIONSHIPS
•
CULTURAL ACCEPTANCE ABOUT RAPE. WHO CAN WE TALK TO?
•
BEATEN BY HUSBANDS TRIES TO NOT REMEMBER OR LET SEX LIFE BE AFFECTED.
•
FORCEFUL SEX NOW AFFECTS GIRL SHE ALWAYS WANTS TO BE ON TOP
DURING SEX
•
THREATS FROM EX ABOUT TAKING HER DAUGHTER AWAY HAS ALARM SYSTEM
AND IS STIFF DURING SEX
•
GIRL RAPED BY COUSINS DIDN’T KNOW IT WASN’T NORMAL UNTIL MOTHER
HAD SEX CONVERSATION WITH HER.
•

12. What has helped the process of healing from sexual
abuse?
•
LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF
•
READING ABOUT HOW OTHERS COPE
•
MUSIC
•
MARRIAGE SPOUSE
•
THERAPIST
•
TIME
•
FEMINISM
•
BEING OPEN WITH CLOSE FRIENDS

13. Conclusion: Relationships Chapter 5