Reach the goal

RTG
REACH THE GOAL
SATHISH KUMAR
HEAD HR

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“Good Judgment = Experience = Success = Bad Judgment”
I wanted to always write about something which every commoner wants. The above
statement is a true reflection what one thinks. This idea of mine is an offshoot of what I
have done to reach the goal and what steps I had followed to reach my GOAL.
In this book I have given out ideas which had worked out for me, you can read this
book as ―Good Experience‖. Like the movie 3 idiots where we pray to God to show the
mercy of our situation, it’s we who should take the upper hand and come out
successfully.
Reach The GOAL (Clearing the Dreaded Interview)
Many books and movies have all come out on this topic; here I don’t want my book to
be a stereotype, just given a shade difference by pointing out the actions to be taken in
order to overcome that situation.
Would also recommend not to read between the lines of what I say. God is whom who
is guiding you through this experience, would recommend enjoying this experience.
In my earlier book ― ―Sculpting your Genius‖. I talked about the process which we can
follow to create success, and in continuation to that my second book ―Adversity
Antidote Action (AAA)‖ talks about what are the common adversities as an individual we
go through and how we should insulate from them and what action we need to take is
what I had decoded in this book.

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I am thankful for all my audience and to my family and my siblings who were
instrumental in helping me create this book. My sincere thanks to the various authors
whom I consider as my first line of the impression in writing this book.
“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything.” —Sbunryu
Suzuki

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Pushing Your Limits 04
Belief: The Foundation of your Life 05
Do Just This One Thing To Completely
Rewire Your DNA For SUCCESS
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The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success 12
The Science of Selling Yourself:
Three Nonverbal Ways to Gain Trust
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Your Body Language and the
Power Pose of Success
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Facing Your Fears 28
Keep Building on the Possibilities 31
Did You Enjoy This Book 35
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“Find a purpose in life so big it will challenge every capacity to be at your best” — David O
Mackay
If you have ever found yourself holding back on
something you really wanted to do, you are familiar
with self-limitation. Limitations can serve us in some
ways, like reminding us that we don’t have the ability
to fly off a roof and land safely on our feet; and they
can confine us in other ways, by creating doubt and
fear about our ability to create more fulfilling
circumstances.
Luckily, most of our self-limitations are easily identified as helpful or harmful; we need
only spend some time examining them and decide which we want to keep and which we
want to discard.
Take a moment to think about your own perceived limitations. What do you believe
you can’t do yet? What do you believe you’ll NEVER be able to do? Why do you think
so? If these concepts seem vague and you’re not sure what your own perceived
limitations are, take some time to write them down. Try phrases like this: ―I can’t
___________ because ___________.‖ Fill in the blanks, and don’t hold anything back.
Even if one of your ideas seems ridiculous and you logically know it isn’t true, yet your
gut confirms it’s a strong belief you hold, write it down anyway.
Once you’ve identified as many of your limiting beliefs as you can; take a closer look at
them. Are any of them hopelessly impossible, or do they just feel that way? Have other

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people been able to accomplish something that you want to accomplish? Have you
accomplished anything in the past that was difficult? How did you overcome the
obstacles you faced? Could you apply the same process to any goal?
There are no right or wrong answers here, only what you honestly think and feel. Now
set your list aside (we’ll be looking at it again later in this report) - and let’s delve into
beliefs a bit deeper.
“Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine” — Marie Fernendez

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"If my mind can Conceive it, My heart can believe it; I know I can achieve it!"
Your beliefs are the foundation upon which your entire life
rests. This foundation was formed by your childhood
conditioning, the experiences you’ve had during the course
of your life, and the conclusions you’ve drawn as a result
of them. Every action (or non-action) you’ve taken during
your lifetime has been encouraged or discouraged by these
beliefs. Consequently, most of the situations in your life are
a result of your actions (or inactions).
In order to begin pushing your limits and increasing your
potential, you need to examine the beliefs you have about your limitations. You’ve
started the process by making a list of your most obvious perceived limitations, but in
order to effectively and permanently change them, you’ll need to challenge them and
actively work on expanding your concept of what is possible.
Whether you realize it or not, you’ve got a certain internal ―set point‖ where you think
your capabilities stop in any given arena. These set points can vary according to the
intensity of your beliefs and they may be different for different activities. For example,
you might know that you are good at one activity but feel you stink at another.
It can be helpful to examine the reasons WHY you feel this way, because most often our
limiting beliefs hold no substance whatsoever. Maybe your older brother told you that
you were too weak to be great at sports, so you never bothered to find out. Or your
friend laughed at your artwork and you decided it was a stupid hobby anyway.

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It’s bad enough when other people set limitations for us, but the problem is
compounded when we begin doing it ourselves.
 No longer do we need others to tell us we stink at something; we come to the
realization all by ourselves.
 No longer do we need someone to tell us we’re a loser; one failure is enough to
convince us.
 No longer do we need others to deflate our confidence; we can do it more
effectively ourselves.
What a shame this is! Do you see the pattern of destruction and the dimmed potential
that results from it? For most of us, it takes only ONE negative experience to start an
avalanche of massive proportions. Of course, it doesn’t usually happen quickly but is
rather the result of years of gradually decreasing belief in ourselves.
Before we go any further, it’s important to understand that your limiting beliefs were
FORMED, sometimes by others in your life and sometimes by you. Either way, they can
be unformed, smashed, rolled into a ball and formed into something else entirely – just
like a lump of clay. Your beliefs are malleable and flexible! They may feel like ―facts‖ but
they are simply thoughts that have gained strength and solidity because of sheer
repetition on your part.
When you really start to get this, it becomes very exciting! Suddenly a whole new world
opens up to you, a world in which anything is possible.
“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials”

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“Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid of only standing still”
In order to tell you how to do it, you need to understand its significance. And let me try
to demonstrate that to you by a short story which I witnessed.
Years ago, I was staying in another city by myself for continuing my studies. I was short
on cash so I chose to stay in a smaller community where I could afford to live.
The community was smaller and jam-packed with a lot of people. And many were
staying there so that it’s easily accessible to the workplaces nearby.
There was one girl, tall, in her early 30s. She was staying in the same community. She
had her workplace about 2 miles from the place.
She had a tailoring shop that she was running. And few people for her home would do
the tailoring work which she would have to come get from them from time to time.
Since its long way to walk each time for smaller errands and this was way before the cell
phones were so readily available.
Therefore she devised a way to reduce the time for running the errands. Again, it was
facilitated due to the way the entire area was built.
Right across the street from her workplace, there was another community, which if you
were to cross, you would reach the border between our community and another
community.
Both places were divided by a 4 and a half feet high concrete wall. But there was no way
to cross the wall from anywhere.

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She would therefore everyday cross the road, comes at the wall and wait for someone to
pass by. And then she would say, ―Excuse me, sir, would you please call someone from
my home?‖
And this would go on for 5-6 days of the week (I assumed that were here workdays).
Every day she would repeat the same routine, some of the days she would come more
often other days, once.
And she was usually in luck, as she would find someone, especially kids playing around,
so that was a sweet deal for her to save some time.
I was renting the place which was exactly at the corner of both communities. Therefore if
I am at home, I could hear her voice. Some of the days, if I’m standing outside or
something, I would help her out.
And this went on for… I don’t remember but it was months that I had noticed this
occurring on a regular basis.
How Do I Know This?
Now one fine night, the wall collapsed. Completely. Destructing the vehicles and other
property of people on our side.
People from both sides argued in the morning as to whose fault it was and whom to
blame for the property destruction and so on.
To avoid further conflict, the resultant debris was cleared immediately but there was no
consensus about who’s going to build the wall again and who’s at fault.
Now here’s something interesting happened.
A few days later, I was talking to some of my friends, the same girl came around noon
and she did her usual routine, "excuse me, would you please call someone from my
home?‖ I looked at her, amused.

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I decided to play along and I thought it was some sort of practical prank or something.
Because I could clearly see her feet, right at the edge of both communities, where the
wall used to stand just a day before.
Somebody came from her house, they both spoke at the same line where they used to
exchange greetings and materials. After minute or two, they both left.
I saw the same thing happened few more times and I didn’t quite realize what was
happening. So one fine day, I was outside and she asked me to call someone from her
house again, at this time, I said, ―There’s no wall now, you can go to your house if you
want.‖
She was baffled for a moment, looked at me confused and next moment.. she took one
step to enter our community and walk to her house.
Never did I see her again at the same point waiting for someone to come, because there
was no wall anymore!
The point of the story is that we all have certain patterns of behaviors which got stuck to
us, and even in the face of the new reality we do not try to change these behaviors. In
this case, I am not saying I did something great by pointing out to her what was very
obvious to everyone.
But she conditioned herself all this while, to wait at the line, which was a solid line at the
time made of concrete. And it was therefore extremely out of the box for her to think of
Crossing this line.
Therefore even after the collapse of the actual physical wall, she wasn’t able to cross it.
But once she realized, she can cross it, if she wants to. After that, there was no stopping
to her or no more need of instructions from anyone.

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In the same way, we all have created some imaginary and some invalid assumptions
about our self and we are ourselves hindering our growth. These limiting Beliefs stop us
from reaching our true potential.
Just as, the water will flow in full force if even a single gate of the water dam is open, in
the same way, breaking even one single limiting by
so how do you do this rewiring?
We have to act in 2 phases. First to identify the limiting beliefs in our life that are holding
us back from moving towards our desired lifestyle. And second to eliminate it from the
roots so no such new limits come from this source again.
DNA Rewiring Worksheet
To get started, let’s choose one area of your life, any one. Let’s say your career. Most of
the things that we take as facts, may have been facts in the past, may never have been
facts at all. What such pseudo facts you can identify?
We get information from different sources and start
forming them as facts in our minds. And this comes
from a variety of sources including, friends, family,
colleagues, TV, news, internet, something you
overheard someone saying, etc.
Much of this advice may not be directly useful to you
and in some ways might be acting as limiting factors for
your growth. What such sources can you identify that you consume on a regular basis
and are creating limits for you?
Identify and decide to remove them from your mental diet. Meaning, you decide to
avoid getting information from such sources. Ex. you could simply turn off news from
your life and see if it makes a difference.

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The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success brings together the
spiritual calmness and mindful behavior of Eastern
religions with Western striving for achieving internal and
external success, showing you seven specific ways to let
both come to you.
Deepak Chopra is one of the most well-known
advocates of Eastern medicine and approaches to health
and living in the Western world.
He’s written over 80 books (!) a great deal of which has
become bestsellers. To this day, The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success remains his most
popular one, having spent over a year on the NYT bestseller list.
He’s often featured in documentaries too, like Finding Joe, which is also where I first saw
him. This book is about combining both Eastern and Western philosophy to arrive at a
middle ground that’s the best of both worlds: calm, patient, confident about the future,
yet not attached to outcomes or desperately struggling to get to your destination.
Here are my 3 favorite lessons:
Be defenseless. Stop justifying yourself.
Have strong, positive intentions to make what you want a reality.
Just show up, serve the world, and let your purpose find you, instead of fighting to find
it.
Let’s look at how you can merge Eastern spirituality with Western drive, shall we?

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Lesson 1: Accept your struggles, because the people who make your life difficult are here
for a reason too.
Imagine you move to a new place. Apartments are expensive, so you decide to get a
roommate to share rent with. For the first week, things go great. But then you start to
discover little annoyances here and there and after two months, you’re really upset by
some of your roommate’s behaviors.
For example, he might not clean his dishes after cooking and let them sit in the sink, or
she might always tell you to take out the trash, but never take it out herself.
Of course this makes you frustrated, but there’s only one good solution here: accepting
the situation and looking for the lesson it’s supposed to teach you.
Have you ever thought that even the people and events that make your life more
difficult might be there for a reason? Maybe you just haven’t learned to stand up for
yourself enough, or not written enough, or not helped others enough.
Accepting where you are and not forcing your view of the world on others is what
Deepak Chopra calls defenselessness. It’s the art of giving up the need to justify yourself
and it’s very powerful, because it lets you move on much faster.
Lesson 2: Manifest your desires with intense, positive thoughts.
However, that doesn’t mean you should just let yourself get steamrolled whenever
there’s a dispute. It just means you have to look for a different way of making your
dreams come true. Instead of arguing where the world throws negativity at you and
trying to flip it, why not direct your positive intentions forward in those areas of life that
really matter?

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You’ve surely witnessed the power of a self-fulfilling prophecy firsthand. You told
yourself you’d do great at something, you walked in with confidence – and then you did
kick ass.
This is the power of positive thinking, and it works for one simple reason: it programs
your actions subconsciously, by getting you in the right mindset.
For example, if you’re stuck in that roommate situation from above, you could then
proceed to pick out all the things that are wrong with your apartment and your living
situation, thinking about how you want to move, but can’t afford a place on your own.
Or, you could be grateful for having a place to live for now and instead focus your
energy on getting an even better place, for example by thinking about what you want
your next apartment to look like.
The universe has a funny way of working out, but in essence, you’ll most often get back
the same kind of energy you put in. You give negative energy, you get negative energy
back. You give positive energy; you’ll get back more positivity.
Lesson 3: Let your life’s purpose find you, instead of desperately struggling to find it.
This is one of the lessons that couldn’t be closer to my heart at the time I’m writing it.
Just two days ago, I had a huge mental shift. For weeks I’ve been working on and
preparing the launch of a product based on the content I’ve created all year long. But
something didn’t feel right. And then I realized: I want to be a full-time writer, but not at
all cost.
I don’t want to create products, just for the sake of having products. I want to create
things of real value. And if at some point, what I do allows me to keep on writing full-
time, because it happens to pay the bills, then great! If not, that’s okay too.
Ask the universe what you can do for it, not what it can do for you.

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Don’t try to desperately force yourself into a certain purpose and then that purpose
upon the world. Take a look at yourself. Where are you right now? What can you
actually do? Where can you give help? Where can you create value?
And then let the rest fall into place. Once you start waking up excited every day and
seem to have endless energy to get things done, that’s when you know you’ve found it.
My personal take-away
These laws aren’t complicated. But they don’t exactly feel simple either. I think that’s
because they pull from two opposing sides. And while that makes them not quite easy to
fully embrace, it’s also what makes them so very powerful. If you’re hungry, if you want
to achieve big things, but feel your impatience is sometimes hurting you in the process,
this is for you.
"No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you're still way ahead of
everyone who isn't trying" -- Tony Robbins

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Your parents nagged you about slouching. Your
career counselor told you to look the interviewer in
the eye. And your colleague insisted that it wasn’t
exactly what you said, but how you said it.
Negative tendencies disrupt how to gain trust.
Turns out, they were all right.
Scientific studies confirm that body language is all-important when it comes to making
first impressions, forming new relationships, and maintaining existing relationships —
three things we do every day.
The 7%-38%-55% rule, postulated by psychologist Albert Mehrabian, points to three
elements that inform first impressions (when we’re deciding whether we like or dislike
someone):
Words are 7% of the message
Tone of voice is 38%
Body language is 55%
Whether you’re starting a new job or heading to a parent-teacher conference,
understanding the social science behind 93% of your message is an essential first step to
building relationships and knowing how to gain trust. Why is trust so important? Amy
Cuddy, social psychologist and celebrated TED talker, summed it up well in a recent
interview:

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Trust is the conduit for influence; it’s the medium through which ideas travel. If they
don’t trust you, your ideas are just dead in the water. If they trust you, they’re open and
they can hear what you’re offering. Having the best idea is worth nothing if people don’t
trust you.
Here are three ways you can harness the power of nonverbal communication to build
better relationships and continue to learn how to gain trust.
Tight on time? Jump around to any section.
1. Don’t Underestimate Eye Contact
2. How To Gain Trust: Mirror Behaviors
3. Use Your Voice To Your Advantage
1. Don’t Underestimate Eye Contact
Why is it that we sometimes meet people and feel as though they’re untrustworthy? It’s
the same reason video calls can be awkward. You’re (literally) not seeing eye-to-eye.
Numerous studies show that the more people look at each other, the more they like each
other. Michael Argyle, an influential 20th century social psychologist, found that we
maintain eye-contact 40-60% of the time we’re talking to someone. But we become
seemingly much more attentive when we become the listener, maintaining eye-contact
with the speaker 80% of the time they have the floor.

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What it means: To build rapport and gain trust with another person, your gaze should
meet theirs about 70-80% of the time. This lays the groundwork of how to gain trust by
showing that a) you’re listening to what they have to say and b) you like them. Research
also shows that:
Ideal eye contact lasts roughly 7-10 seconds in a one-on-one conversation. Look away
too soon and you risk implying that you’re untrustworthy.
Excessive blinking is suspicious. Adults normally blink anywhere from 15-20 times per
minute. Our blink rate increases when we’re stressed or under pressure (ex. Bill Clinton’s
blink rate clocked in at 92 per minute during his deposition).
However, there’s one small caveat to keep in mind during the first 20 seconds you meet
someone. According to body language experts Allan & Barbara Pease:
Many people are taught that, in a sales meeting or job interview, you should maintain
strong eye contact with the other person and keep it up until you are seated. This creates
problems for both the interviewer and the interviewee because it’s contrary to the
process we like to go through when we meet someone new.
The authors explain that when we first meet someone, our most basic instinct is to take
mental stock of their appearance and how they present themselves. Maintaining eye
contact during the first 20 seconds of a first-time interaction restricts this process.
The proposed solution: Say hi, shake hands, and then give them 2-3 seconds of
uninterrupted time to look you over.
Look down to open your briefcase or folder, or to arrange any papers you might need,
turn to hang up your coat, or move your chair in closer, and then look up. In filming
sales [meetings], we found that not only did the [meetings] feel better for the salespeople
who used this strategy, it added up to a better outcome in sales results.

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2. How To Gain Trust: Mirror Behaviors
When they were told not to
mirror, only 12.5% reached a deal.
What it means: You can intentionally create rapport and gain trust with another person
by simply mirroring their body language. If they’re leaning forward, lean in. If they’re
gesturing with their hands to convey an idea, try it yourself. Just don’t go overboard —
there’s a fine line between psychological similarity and just plain weird.
When people are engaged in a conversation — and it’s going well — it’s common to see
them subtly imitate each other’s body language. This could mean assuming a similar
posture, stance, series of gestures, facial expression, etc. Why? Matching nonverbal
behaviors creates the sense that people are on the same page and conveys feelings of
trust and empathy.
In a recent experiment, researcher William Maddux tested the impact of this behavior on
business negotiations. One portion of the MBA student volunteers were instructed to
subtly mirror their partner (e.g. put their elbow on the table if the other person does),
while the other half were told not to mirror. The results showed that when one student
was instructed to mirror the other, the two parties reached a deal 67% of the time.

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3. Use Your Voice To Your Advantage
Recent research by Quantified Impressions offers some useful insights into how voice
influences perception. In an analysis of 120 executive speeches, the communications
analytics company found that the sound of a speaker’s voice matters twice as much as
the message itself. The Wall Street Journal reports:
Researchers used computer software to analyze speakers’ voices, then collected feedback
from a panel of 10 experts and 1,000 listeners. The speakers’ voice quality accounted for
23% of listeners’ evaluations; the content of the message accounted for 11%. Other
factors were the speakers’ passion, knowledge and presence.
What it means: It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. How to gain trust relies on
your awareness of the vocal nonverbal clues you’re sending. A few tips to keep in mind
the next time you hop on a call:
Stay within your normal pitch. Both men and women will lower the pitch of their voices
as a way to project authority. But listeners can always tell (and yes, they will judge you).
You’ll come across as much more authentic and credible by using expressive speech (i.e.
shifting from loud tones to soft tones) within your normal range.
Slow down. Studies show that speaking faster than the other person is likely to make
them feel ―pressured‖ in the moment.
Incorporate words that sound similar to the listener’s name. Research shows that we
humans favor things that sound similar to our own name. We’re even more likely to
prefer brands that start with the same letter of our first name.
“You must find something in everything to be glad about” — JK Rowling

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Did you know that your body language directly affects your life and career success? It’s
true.
In an experiment with soccer players, it was found that the stance had a direct bearing
on how the player was perceived. Penalty takers with dominant body language were
perceived more positively by soccer goalkeepers and players and were expected to
perform better than players with a submissive body language.

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An experiment at Harvard produced similar findings. It tested whether ―changing
nonverbal behavior prior to a high-stakes social evaluation could improve performance
in the evaluated task. As predicted, high power posers performed better and were more
likely to be chosen for hire.‖
It’s the same in the workplace. If you look successful, people think you are successful and
will see you as highly credible. Just think what that might do for your career
advancement.
Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy has done research into body language and found that
we can change other people’s perceptions simply by changing body positions. More
importantly, we can change our own body chemistry in the same way.
The power pose of success
The use of the power pose, which is taking up a confident stance even if you don’t feel
confident, can raise your testosterone levels and reduce the level of the stress hormone,
cortisol, in your brain.
What is a power pose?
Close your eyes and picture a winner. They stand tall and straight, chin up, eyes wide
open and their arms are often opened up. They are proud of themselves and take the
space to show it. That’s a power pose.
Now picture the loser. Head drooping, shoulders rounded in defeat and taking up a
small physical space. That’s the pose of the defeated.
Try a power pose now.
Stand up and spread your legs wide. Plot your hands on your hips, take a breath and
puff your chest out. Notice how you automatically stand straighter and your head is

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high? Hold that position for a couple of minutes. Now pay attention to how you feel.
Good, huh?
It takes less than two minutes for the changes to kick in inside your brain and to affect
your confidence. So, a power pose not only reflects power, it also creates it inside you.
Choosing when to use the power pose
The power pose is a position of dominance so it’s not something to use all the time,
especially when working as part of a team.
The best time to use the power pose is to even up a power imbalance or to boost your
confidence. A good example of this would be when you are being interviewed for a
promotion – a power pose makes you look confident and convincing to the authority
figures who are interviewing you. Another example would be when you are about to
make a presentation and you need more confidence than you are feeling. A power pose
kicks your brain into high gear.
Pay attention to the winners around you – the people who are successful within your
industry – and study their body language. Spot the way they sit and stand and the way
they dominate their space. They aren’t just doing it for the image. They are also doing it
to boost their own confidence and self-belief.
Knowing that you can have control over your own body chemistry, how might you use
it to boost your own chances of career success?

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Top 10 Tips on Body Language and Power Poses From Professor Amy Cuddy:
Confidence is key if you are to be successful. Whether you are looking to win a freelance
contract, land your dream job and meet a new partner, you need to make a great
impression on people.
According to Harvard’s Amy Cuddy, your body language will make a great difference
both in your own performance and in how people will perceive your confidence.
Consider the following tips to improve your personal presence with various power
poses:
1. Breathing:
Amy Cuddy suggests that you need to slow your breathing when you are with other
people. By so doing, you will be able to slow your heart rate. Once this happens, you
will start feeling more relaxed and centered – which will improve your body language.
2. Eye Contact:
Whenever you are in the presence of other people, try as much as you can to hold eye
contact. Your ability to do this will calmly convey greater confidence even if you don’t
feel it. However, you should also ensure you are not fidgety and you don’t come off
looking nervous.
3. Mistakes:
Always admit your mistakes. Confident and strong people own up to theirs, so why
shouldn’t you. The sooner you are able to admit your mistakes and provide plans to
correct them, the greater the level of confidence you will be able to convey.

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4. Truth:
Respectful debate and disagreement are the cornerstones of successful collaborations.
Unless you were hired to do various tasks, you need to understand that you are paid for
your contributions and insights (including your contrarian positions). Therefore, speak
your truth – it will get more people respecting and valuing you.
5. Flaws:
Antique dealers usually point out the flaws and scratches in old furniture pieces. Although
it might seem like being honest, it’s actually a strategic move. By being transparent with
your flaws, people are more likely to trust you. Confidently own your limitations and
people will trust your strengths.
6. Body Language:
Before walking into any social or professional meeting, loosen your shoulders, neck and
jaws. This will decrease your anxiety while simultaneously raising your confidence. It
works because our emotions physiologically respond to changes in the physical state of
our bodies.
7. Fidgeting:
Bouncing your foot, swiveling in your chair, and tapping on the table are unconscious
nervous habits that will give away the fact that you are nervous. Not only that, they will
also amplify your anxiety. If you catch yourself fidgeting, loosen your body and check
your breath and you should feel better.

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8. Smiling:
Smiling will make you happier – so, why shouldn’t you do it more frequently? When you
smile at meetings, for instance, people will think that you are empowered, excited, or
kind. Additionally, it will work in your favor when they also perceive your personal
power and self-confidence.
9. Emails:
Brevity, as Oscar Wilde put it, is the soul of wit. It also conveys great confidence and
honesty. More particularly, we tend to ramble on and on when we are not sure about
what we are saying. However, if you are 100% certain about something, you should be
able to jot down an email in the fewest words possible.
10. Listening:
When listening, ensure you are active about it. Where required, convey sympathy. The
most confident among us listen and demonstrate that they are getting what is being said.
Less confident and nervous people, on the other hand, tune out of conversations to start
planning what they should say next.

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“Kites Rise highest against the wind not with it” — Winston Churchill
As you begin challenging your beliefs and expanding your potential, you may have to
face some fears along the way. This seems scary because most of us are used to cowering
in the face of fear. We tend to avoid situations that make us feel uncomfortable, and I
don’t know of any situations more uncomfortable than fearful ones!
However, your fears are truly nothing to fear. Just like the saying goes, “There is nothing
to fear but fear itself.” (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
Your fears are a direct result of your beliefs. Or, more specifically, your fears are the
result of CHALLENGING your beliefs.
Fear is nothing more than a conditioned response to a perceived danger. If we believe
that something is dangerous or harmful to us, we naturally will fear it. Trying to force
ourselves through the fear without changing our perception of it is often unnecessarily
painful, though effective. There is nothing wrong with forcing yourself to face your fears
if you desire to overcome them badly enough. People do this successfully every day.
But if you’re a sensitive soul who desires a gentler approach, here are some good ones
for you:
 First, convince yourself that there is no danger. It is our belief that something will go
horribly wrong if we move forward that keeps us locked in terror. One simple way
to overcome this paralysis is by asking yourself, ―What is the worst thing that could
happen?‖ And, ―Could I handle it if the worst did happen?‖ Most often, your answer
will be affirmative.
 Plan ahead so you know what to do if the worst happens. If your fear is public
speaking but you really want to (or have to) give a speech, ask yourself what the

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worst possible occurrence might be if you go ahead. You might answer, ―stage fright,‖
or ―flubbing my words.‖ Consider how you would handle those situations. Could
you laugh them off and turn them into a joke for the audience? Could you visualize
the audience in their underwear? You get the idea – turn your worst case scenario
into a ―so what?‖ and your perspective will change.
 Visualize a different outcome. Whatever your feared outcome is, come up with an
inner ―script‖ that is in direction opposition to it and replay it over and over in your
mind until you believe it. Using the public speaking example from above, visualize
yourself feeling pumped up, dynamic and confident as you step onto the stage. See
the audience being interested in what you have to say, listening closely, laughing at
the appropriate moments, and your words flowing smoothly and effortlessly. Imagine
the thunderous applause as you conclude your speech, and imagine the incredible
sense of elation you’ll feel for conquering your fear.
 Shrink your fears and squash them like a bug. We often feel that our fears are so
much larger than we are. It feels like they LOOM over us, draining our power and
diminishing our determination. Change this perception by imagining your fears
shrinking, shrinking, growing smaller and less intense until they have the stature of a
bug on the ground before you. Tell the fear that you’re grateful for its attempt to
protect you, but you don’t need protecting. Then…step on it. Squash it into oblivion.
There are many more ways to challenge your fears, but the main point is to avoid letting
them control your life. Fear can be so pervasive that it SEEMS to be out of our control,
but remember that a fear is nothing more than a thought. Whether you examine it
closely, question it, challenge it, work calmly through it or push forcefully through it
doesn’t matter. As long as you remember that YOU are the one in control, not your
fears.

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Like most of the other techniques in this report, fear-squashing takes some practice before
you get truly comfortable with it. Take your time and keep at it, and before long you’ll
be one of those people that laughs in the face of fear and thrills to whatever challenge
rises up before them.
Finally, learn to use your fears as a valuable tool for awareness. We’ve covered the
negative side of fear, but one benefit it does have is that it acts as a beacon to reveal
your limiting beliefs! Any fear (besides genuine dangers, of course) can tell you something
about yourself. Where fear lives, so do limiting beliefs. Learn to use this knowledge to
your advantage. Follow your fears directly to the roots of your limiting beliefs, and yank
them right out.

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“Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm” —
Winston Churchill
As you begin to make progress on pushing your limits, you’ve got to keep up the effort
and continually build on what you’ve got. Let’s summarize what we’ve covered so far so
you can see the process clearly.
 First in line is the destruction process where you examine and destroy limiting beliefs.
You begin to realize how much other people have influenced your beliefs, and how
you often picked up where they left off.
 Next is the rebuilding process where you begin replacing your limiting beliefs with
empowering ones. You begin to trust your inner knowing again, and honestly assess
your capabilities.
 Then you begin challenging and conquering your fears and doubts. You begin
dissecting and disarming these negative thoughts, effectively diminishing their power
over you.
 Next, you begin to expand your concept of what is possible and proceed at a slow
and steady pace. You take it a step at a time while keeping in mind that growth is a
process.
 Finally, you commit to going the extra mile and continuing on past the point where
you would have normally given up.
Then, the only thing to do is…rinse and repeat!
The more frequently you can complete these steps, the more natural and intuitive the
process becomes. You’ll find yourself questioning and confronting every stray craving,

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fear, uncertainty, doubt, lazy impulse and more. You’ll stop accepting excuses as facts
and start demanding more from yourself. You’ll start thrilling to the challenge of
adversity and you’ll learn to love the feeling of accomplishment as you take just one
more step along the path of self-development.
You’ll probably even develop a greater sense of self-discipline and patience the further
you get into this process because you’ll gain the insight that anything worth doing is
worth doing well and completely – rather than rushing through it. You’ll learn to value
every moment of the journey, not just the destination.
Eventually you’ll reach a point where pushing your limits is largely an automatic reflex.
You’ll laugh derisively at limiting thoughts and flatten obstacles with one mighty fist.
(Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but it sounds cool, doesn’t it?)
What all this ultimately means is that you’ll stop letting yourself be derailed from what
you really want! You’ll have packed your bags and moved to the Land of
Empowerment, the most freeing place to live in the world. It really is up to you where
you choose to spend most of your time; so choose wisely.
Additionally, never stop developing your self-awareness. It really is the key to any self-
improvement. When you have the insight and courage to be honest with yourself, you’ll
never be able to deceive yourself, trick yourself or betray yourself.
Self-deception is a poison that will kill any attempt you make to improve your life. Don’t
let it destroy your progress! Self-deception has clear warning signs, so keep on the
lookout for these:
 If you place the blame for things going wrong everywhere but on yourself, you are
deceiving yourself. Sure, sometimes things just happen through no fault of your own.
But if you notice a lot of anger and blaming coming from within you and directed
out to others, it’s time to re-evaluate your part in the problems.

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 If you start justifying unproductive behavior, self-deception has reared its ugly head.
Excuses like these will be the death of your progress: ―I’m too tired.‖ ―It’s too hard.‖
―Everyone else has better luck than I do.‖ ―I can still be successful even though I don’t
work consistently on my goals.‖ You already know WHAT you need to do to
achieve any goal you set for yourself, you just have to be diligent at DOING it; no
excuses.
 If you start double-guessing your intuition, you may be deceiving yourself – or trying
to sabotage your efforts. Sometimes we’ll receive an intuitive hunch about something
and ―know‖ it’s true, but logically we can’t figure out why so we doubt it. If you’ve
ever done this, you probably remember the sting of regret as you kicked yourself for
not trusting your intuition like you should have. Get to know your intuition and
exercise it frequently; then you’ll be able to know for sure when you should trust it.
 If you start scattering your energy in too many directions instead of sticking to your
original plan, you may be deceiving yourself by an endless search for the ―next big
thing‖ or the ―easiest thing.‖ There is no next big thing or easiest thing – only the
―thing‖ you choose for your own life. Tackle one thing at a time and stay focused.
Your results will speak for themselves.
In general, an awareness of possible self-deception is often enough to stop or reverse it,
but sometimes you’ll need to take firm action. Again, trust your instincts and take charge
when necessary.
Remember at the beginning of this report I told you to set aside that list of things you
know you’ll ―never‖ be able to do? Take another look at it right now and reconsider the
items on it.
Do you still feel the same about them? Or have you begun to realize that you are
capable of more than you thought? Don’t worry if you’re still a bit doubtful; even a tiny
increase in hope and belief is a good thing.

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Hang onto your list and keep reviewing it periodically. Do this especially once you begin
to make measurable progress on pushing your limits, because you will likely feel a lot
different about the concept of ―never‖.
Maybe you’ll decide you simply don’t WANT to achieve the items on that list, or that
you want to eventually but not right now.
But with some of them…you just might surprise yourself.
“Remember that failure is an event; not a person” — Zig Ziglar

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Amy Cuddy’s research
on body language
reveals that we can
change other people’s
perceptions — and
perhaps even our own
body chemistry —
simply by changing
body positions.
Harvard professor and
researcher Amy Cuddy
explains how posture
can affect some of the
biggest moments of our
lives.
Harvard professor and
researcher Amy Cuddy
explains in her book
PRESENCE: Optimizing
Mental Performance.
Mel Robbins is one of
the most sought after
motivational speakers
trusted by global brands,
in this video she talks
that Fear is not a
problem

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