This document contains the transcript of a magic show performed by Celeste, who goes by the stage name Sugarbelle. The show gets off to a rocky start, with only two audience members present due to the snowy weather. Sugarbelle's first trick goes wrong when she accidentally stabs her volunteer in the ass with a sword. The show continues to go downhill from there, with her tricks failing to impress or entertain the small audience. By the end, only three people including a zombie remain to watch her finale.

2. Pirates are a superstitious lot, they have all sorts of strange customs. Such as believing
having women on a ship is bad luck, or incurring the wrath of the old sea gods; or
falling prey to a sultry siren. Some of their superstitions may actually be grounded in
fact…

3. Obsidian: I have a confession to make…
Francis: Can’t it wait, I’m kind of enjoying this right now.
Obsidian: I want to tell someone.

4. Obsidian: I found a way to become a witch like you and Temecula.
Francis: Sid, why would you want this burden?
Obsidian: Because I want to share something special with you, I want to share in your magical
heritage.

5. Obsidian: I found this out of the way place called Aleister’s Sundries and
Elixers and they had an elixer there, it was called Bottled Witch’s Brew. The guy
said it would give anyone the powers of a witch. It cost me $2200 but I think it
was worth it, dad won’t notice the missing money anyway.

6. Obsidian: I could feel the new power right away, it was so amazing.
Francis: Sid, why? My mom was born a witch and so were me and my brother. We’ve had our
whole lives to learn how to use those powers we had in our blood. An elixer-given power like
that…it can become unstable. Alchemy is taking without giving, it’s dangerous for a non-blood
born supernatural to handle.

7. Obsidian: But…you should see what I can do! I made a pink apple without even thinking
about it, it just appeared in my hand! It was amazing.
Francis: That’s exactly my point; a pink apple like that is poison Sid. It can kill. If you had
known how to use your powers from birth like me, you would know that you can’t just
make things like that without a cost involved.

8. Obsidian: I thought you’d be happy I could do what you do now…
Francis: I was always afraid of this; that a Normie would become too infatuated with
what I was and they would go and do something stupid like this…mom warned us about
it.
Obsidian: N-Normie? I thought we weren’t going to use that word anymore.

9. Obsidian: I know I have a lot to learn, I figured that out when I made the chemicals on big
sis’s chemistry table bubble. I felt a surge of something and when I moved the wand a blast
of fire came out. I put it out just as quickly with cold, I think it was like an ice blast or
something. I managed.
Francis: *sigh* Sid…now that you’ve accidentally used the two most powerful elemental
spells we have, I can’t let you just be…

10. Obsidian: So you’ll train me?
Francis: You forced me to; I can’t let a fledgling witch run around the town doing whatever she “feels” come
out. I was hoping that if we ever did manage to be together for a while, like get married or something, that if
we had kids they would only have a 50% chance to get my abilities, now that’s jumped to a 100% certainty. As
long as you don’t figure out the Conversion Ritual…
Obsidian: Yeah…about that. I—I sort of saw symbols appear in a blue aura.
Francis: Awesome.*face palm* Now I have to teach you. That’s just as dangerous as the fire and ice blasts.

11. Obsidian: I read in the book how to use that conversion ritual spell in another way; I
changed the whole environment where the alchemy station was. I think it was a pretty
cool way to decorate a room without spending money or making a mess.
Francis: You used a Conversion Ritual spell to decorate a room!? What the hell?!

12. Obsidian: I didn’t do anything else, I swear.
Francis: I hope not. Because if mom finds out I influenced you, she’ll kill me.
Obsidian: Well…you kind of did. But I won’t tell her.
******

13. Alice: So um…did you renovate the back room by any chance? Because you know we are
supposed to talk about that before we do anything.
Coal: No, I thought you did. I was about to ask you the same thing.
Alice: One day it was empty and the next it looked completely different.

14. Coal: Isn’t there like a TV show that does surprise renovations like that? Did you call them?
Alice: No dear, I didn’t. Did you?
Coal: I mean, unless one of us was drunk on the wine you brought back from Egypt…we could easily
forget we did that.

15. Coal: It sounds like something I’d do when I was drunk…
Alice: We also have six kids in the house dear and they are all old enough to prank their
old parents…because we are getting old Coal…so old. *sigh*
Coal: Yeah…mid life sucks.

16. Alice: I feel like the gardener lady on TV there, the Cowplant of Middle Age
just suddenly comes up to bite me in the ass. And it got me.
Coal: That’s…actually a spot on analogy. I feel like that too.

17. Speaking of said kids…Celeste is about to perform at her first gig as a magician.
Celeste: Welcome…um all two of you. My name is Sugarbelle and I’m going to
give everyone an amazing show tonight. I want to thank both of you for
coming out tonight in the freezing snow, I promise you this will be one hot
show!

18. Sugarbelle: Now where did I put that wand of mine?

19. Sugarbelle: Ah here it is! No wonder I couldn’t get it out, it had “rooted”
somewhere else.
*sporadic applause*

20. Sugarbelle: I’ll just dis”petal” of that somewhere shall I?
*cough* *polite laugh*

21. Sugarbelle: Now if I could ask for a volunteer from the audience…
Lone Lady: Ooh me!! Pick me!! ME!!
Sugarbelle: Ah, yes you young lady. Would you mind coming up here?

22. Sugarbelle: Step right up into my Box of Mystery…
Lone Lady: Ooh a Mystery Box!
Sugarbelle: Right this way!

23. Sugarbelle: Now if I could have complete silence, this is the most difficult part
of being in the Box of Mystery…
*rapt attention from the one lone guy*

24. Sugarbelle: Behold! The sword will not pierce her! *slides in sword*
Lone Lady: OWW!! MY ASS!! YOU STABBED ME IN THE ASS!!
Guy in Audience: You suck!! BOO!

25. Lone Lady: You stabbed me in the ass! I’ll sue! *limps off stage and bleeds a little*
Sugarbelle: Umm…umm, Flying V Live Venue is not liable for any damages inflicted on
one’s person or property?
Lone Lady: Yeah they may not be, BUT YOU SURE AS HELL ARE!!

26. Sugarbelle: *ahem* How about some appearing birds?
Guy in Audience: How about you get off the stage!
Sugarbelle: Right…umm…

27. Sugarbelle: Avius Appello!
Lone Lady: I’mma gonna enjoy wiping the smile right off that face when I sue her for
bodily harm…hehe. Yeah. She’ll never smile again when I’m done with her.

28. Sugarbelle: Behold! My next trick!
New Lady: Oh how delightful! What will she do with it?
Sugarbelle: Flora Transformi!

29. Sugarbelle: Ta-da!
New Lady: Oh how delightful! *golf clap*
Sugarbelle: Thank you! Thank you!

30. Sugarbelle: For my final trick of the evening, I will make one more attempt at the Box of
Mystery, sir, you look like the adventurous sort would you mind?
Zombie: *hnnh* Brains…
Sugarbelle: Right this way.

31. Sugarbelle: Yes, there’s lots of delicious brains in there sir, please, step inside.
Zombie: Brains…*hnnh*

32. Sugarbelle: And the last one…*grunts* Oh, I guess this one wants to be difficult...*shoves*
Zombie: *hnnh*
Sugarbelle: Just a bit more…there. It’s in.

33. Sugarbelle: And now the moment of truth…what has become of our volunteer?
Let’s find out.

34. Sugarbelle: And he’s completely fine! Thanks to Mr. Zombie here for being a
good pin cushion! Let’s give him a round of applause!
*silence*

35. Sugarbelle: Thank you! You’ve been a wonderful audience, all three of you!
Goodnight folks, now let’s all get out of here before Mr. Zombie comes back
and realizes there were no brains in the Box of Mystery…
******