Procrastination choose your own path

1. How To Procrastinate a
Paper
By Wilson Bryant

2. Your paper is due today and you have already
procrastinated it for a whole week. In order for
your paper to be finished and ready to be
turned in at 11:59 you must make the correct
decisions. It will take approximately 3 hours to
complete. You’ve stayed up very late the night
before so you have already slept in until 12:30
PM
The
Scenario:

3. You’ve gotten adequate sleep but now have
to go strait to class and have lost a lot of
time. It’s 2:30 PM by the time you back to
your dorm.
Take a break from school and
play Fifa
Work on paper for an
hour

4. You’ve successfully played 3 games of Fifa
and gained zero progress on your paper.
You still haven’t eaten today.
Time: 3:10 PM
Remain hungry and
work on your paper for
an hour
Go eat at Chick-fil-a

5. You are now dangerously hungry and
are forced to eat which takes 2 hours.
Time: 6:10 PM
Go to the Library to
bust out the rest of
the paper
Hang out with friends
in your dorm

6. Congrats, you are skilled in understanding
the correct balance between
procrastination and taking the initiative.
You finished the paper at a reasonable
hour.
Time: 8:15 PM

7. You are now sitting at the library one
third of the way through the paper.
Time: 3:45 PM
Turn off phone and finish
paper
Browse facebook and potentially
get stuck watching dumb videos
that you don’t care about but still
watch for some reason

8. Wow, you are terrible at procrastinating.
Doing the paper all at once might subdue
your creativity.
Time finished: 5:45 PM

9. The deadline is approaching and you
aren't even halfway through the paper
yet.
Time: 8:10 PM
Finish the rest of the
paper at the library
Take a thirty minute shower
before resuming writing

10. You cut it a little close, but are near the
right balance of procrastination and
initiative.
Time finished: 10:10 PM

11. The deadline is approaching and you aren't
even halfway through the paper yet. You
also realize that it’s been a week since
you’ve worked out…
Time: 8:40 PM
Work on the
paper in the dorm
Go workout for 2 hours

12. Your procrastination skills are better than
average but still need some work.
Time finished: 10:40 PM

13. You finally realize that you are really in
trouble…
Time: 10:40
Frantically work up until 11:59
and finish an incomplete
version
Understand that you’ve
already wasted all of your
time away and will just take
the late grade reduction

14. You are an all-star procrastinator. This is
obviously crossing crossing the line. You
most likely will receive a poor grade.
Time finished: 11:59 PM

15. You have an incredibly dangerous mix of
first-team level procrastination, and sheer
laziness. Congratulations.
Time finished: Never

16. You’ve somehow managed to watch dumb
videos for 30 minutes. You also realize that
you are tired of the current music you’ve
been listening to.
Time: 4:15 PM
Ignore it and finish the
paper
Create a Spotify playlist for
an hour

17. You are a garbage procrastinator. You have
way too much will power and self control
to hang with the real procrastinators.
Time finished: 6:15

18. It’s now 6:15 PM due to an hour long music detour
and an hour long dinner break. There are still 2
hours of work left. You also get a text from your
friend saying that they are all about to play
basketball.
Time: 6:15 PM
Go back to library and
finish paper
Play basketball with friends

19. You have the best of both worlds. Enough
procrastination to have fun, but also
enough will power to finish at a reasonable
hour.
Time finished: 8:15 PM

20. You just finished basketball and 11:59 is
coming quicker than you would have
thought. You are also very sweaty and need
a shower.
Time: 8:15 PM
Go back to library sweaty
and finish paper
Take a long refreshing shower

21. You made some procrastinators decisions
but are one of a kind for choosing to write
the rest of the paper drenched in sweat.
Time finished: 10:30 PM

22. The deadline is close if you take the 2
hours of work into account.
Time: 8:45 PM
Go to library and finish
paper
Lay down in bed and look at
your phone for an hour

23. Time finished: 11:00 PM
You’ve made some decisions that a
world-class procrastinator would make
but somehow managed to pull it off.
You are an 8/10 procrastinator.

24. You now realize that you are going to be
cutting it really close and will most likely
not finish by the deadline of 11:59
Time: 10:00 PM
Go to the library and write
as much as you can get
down
Count your losses and go
to downtown Athens with
your friends

25. A brilliant job of procrastinating. If you
want to complete your paper next time,
don’t make the worlds dumbest string of
decisions. You did not effectively find the
medium.
Time finished: 11:59 but incomplete

26. You showed that not only are you a world
class procrastinator, but also make
extremely dumb decisions when it comes
to school work. You did not effectively find
the medium.
Time finished:
Never

27. There was a car wreck on the way to Chick-
fil-a and you sat in traffic for 2 hours.
Time: 6:10 PM
Go to Library and finish
whole paper
Go workout

28. Great job finding the good middle ground
between procrastination and initiative.
Time finished: 9:35 PM