The document explores the principles of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and its techniques for building rapport, managing negative emotions, and fostering meaningful connections. Key NLP strategies include dissociation, rapport building, content reframing, modeling, anchoring, and belief change, aimed at enhancing interpersonal interactions and personal development. The significance of establishing and maintaining rapport in various contexts is emphasized, along with methods to cultivate it effectively.

1. NLP- Rapport Building
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2. “You only get one chance in life,
so do your best to make it count,
in whatever way that is
meaningful to you”

3. About our life……..
• There is not a single person in this world, who has not encountered
challenging situations in life.
• Our lives can be aptly compared to a jigsaw puzzle. We keep putting
the pieces together, manage to complete a puzzle only to encounter
another and the process goes on and on.
• In this chaos, we strive to find some meaning in this madness, which
many times lead us to disappointment and despair.

4. Our lives are ruled by reactions, some pleasant, some unpleasant.
A pleasant reaction gives us joy whereas unpleasant reactions can leave many
of us feeling stressed, angry or sad.
We have to deal with ourselves and other human beings, each day.
Sparks are bound to fly. Negative feelings are bound to happen.
What it would take, to deal with such situations would be, a strong sense of
awareness and control of one’s mind and actions.
Gaining this power and strength would allow us to lead fulfilling lives and be in
control of the – who, what, when, why and how’s – in our lives.
We could also call them question marks or limiting patterns.

5. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
• Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques (NLP
training in action) show the way to create something
meaningful out of these limiting patterns.
• NLP techniques during an NLP training are designed to
support important and subtle skills which include
dissociation, rapport building, content re-framing, modelling,
anchoring, and belief change.

6. NLP training in action may help us uncover
through various techniques, mainly:
• 1. Dissociation: helps to diffuse or overcome negative feelings which
might have aroused due to some stressful situations. It restores
objectivity and gets rid of feelings of negativity.
• 2. Rapport Building: Very useful to build relationships, Rapport
Building involves the use of techniques like Matching and Mirroring
the Outside and the Inside; Pacing and Leading.
• 3. Reframing Content: Which means, looking at an experience from
a different perspective, enabling removing focus from the negative
elements of that experience. In other words, changing the meaning of
the sad experience, by reframing the content.

7. NLP training in action may help us uncover
through various techniques, mainly:
• 4. Modelling: Role models have always been a part of our everyday lives.
NLP uses the same techniques to bring harmony and success into our lives
by the process of recreating excellence.
• 5. Anchoring Yourself: Anchoring in NLP means associating a particular,
positive emotional response with a particular phrase or sensation. The
positive emotion or thought can be connected to a simple gesture which
performs the role of an anchor.
• 6. Belief Changing: More often than not, due to previous experiences, we
get judgmental. We tend to form opinions. These opinions become so
strong that we start thinking they are the truth. We form a large amount of
limiting beliefs that stops us from truly achieving our potential.

8. NLP Rapport. What is rapport in NLP?
•It is a sense of connection, acceptance and
openness between people, allowing
communication to happen on a subtler,
automatic level. In this article we explore
rapport and link to our unique 1:1 worldwide
NLP Training.

9. Rapport is helpful in a number of situations :
• It helps us to lead. Sometimes it’s essential to create and
maintain rapport. Sometimes it’s helpful to break it – if we
have too much rapport with someone, we’re open to them
influencing us, which may not be in either of our best
interests. Curiously, if rapport has been established and we
break it, our client will likely follow us to establish it again.
This is called pacing and leading.
• It helps us to learn. We become highly receptive to subtle
information when we are in tune with another and pick up
things on a nonverbal level, much like a child learning from
a parent.

10. Rapport is helpful in a number of situations :
• It helps us in creating an accepting environment for others.
• It’s worth remembering that when we ask good coaching questions,
we’re often asking our clients to explore something important to them
that they may not have had the courage to explore, Not only their
thoughts but their memories and feelings.
• We’re asking them to share with us the processes they’re going through.
• We are asking for access to a side of them that very rarely sees daylight
and, as such, may be incredibly vulnerable.
• A state of rapport, therefore, is crucial to allow them to feel supported
and accepted as they explore and express these truths.

11. What leads to rapport?
• The classic NLP approach ro build rapport is to develop ‘likeness’ using
any representation system or combination of representational system.
However there are other approaches that I’ve found useful in different
contexts.
• ‘Likeness’, this is the basic NLP approach to rapport, and is very powerful.
The rest of this pages develops this NLP approach. This includes
similarities in each representational system and in meta-programmes.
• Talking about what’s really important to the other person, this leads
them into getting into rapport with us. Finding out what’s important to
another person may be as simple as asking them, or it may be much
more of a challenge (they don’t know themselves, or they specifically
don’t want to say.

12. What leads to rapport?
• ‘Validate and encourage’ the other person. Again can be very
powerful before attempting to ‘correct and convincing.’
• *Let the other person feel heard. (This may be an impact of
rapport, rather than leading to it, however I consider it so
important that I’ve added it as a bullet point),
• ‘Be vulnerable’, share something personal and risky.
Requires courage, and we don’t want to share everything to
everyone! Asking for help can be a variation of this.
• Be a bit ‘alpha’ -sometimes people like to be led.

13. What is being “Alpha:?
•Individuals who are "a bit alpha" may
exhibit a competitive edge and a strong
drive to succeed. They may be motivated to
outperform others, achieve their goals, and
maintain a sense of control or superiority in
certain situations.

14. What leads to feeling heard*
• This is work in progres, however these are some clients suggestions, which
compliment the basic NLP approaches:
• Eye contact from the listener
• Listener not multi-tasking
• The listener building on the point that was made in a relevant way, or responding
with an appropriate gesture/facial expression (like sadness, shock, a smile, a hug etc.)
• The listener relating the experience being described back to a similar example in their
own experience
• The listener asking relevant questions to understand more about what was said
• Not being interrupted

15. NLP Rapport building techniques
• It is about being ‘like’ or ‘similar’ to someone. It’s difficult to fake
rapport
• focus on similarities rather than differences. If, before a
meeting, we create a checklist of similarities and talk
through common ground, we will increase rapport. If we
already dislike someone, even slightly, we’re likely to focus
on how we’re different.
• Ask a few questions where we’ll get genuine yes
answers. This requires careful planning because we must
think about what is true in the other person’s reality.

16. • Are aware of context. If we want to establish rapport in a
business situation, it’s not the time and place to be too
informal – save it for the bar afterwards!
• Mirror posture and language. It could also be vocal tone,
pace and use of words. If we’re exploring hypnosis and are
looking for a deeper rapport, we match breathing rates.
• Talk about what’s of genuine interest to the other
person. We will likely speed up the rapport process if we
reflect a client’s values.

17. • Demonstrate vulnerability. I like the term ‘courageous
vulnerability’, as it’s taking a real risk being venerable,
however if we aren’t honest and open with people we’ll
never develop a great relationship. If anyone attempts to
use what we’ve said against us, we’ve learnt a useful lesson,
that we may not be able to trust them, and to me more
guarded in the future.
• Always start positive. Assume you’ll get into rapport quickly
and have a really enjoyable and valuable interaction.
However, respond to what actually happens.

18. The dangers of too much
• When we’re in rapport with a number of depressed people,
we’re likely to take on their depression. A working strategy
when working with those in negative states is to get into
rapport for a short period of time, break it and lead them to
somewhere more useful.
• When we are in a position of authority, we may not want to
get into rapport, as we’re likely to be open to too much
influence from others.
• As rapport strengthens empathy and sympathy with other
people, it becomes very difficult to disappoint them: As a
fact of life, we often have to say no.

19. Suggested NLP Rapport Exercises
1.Before meeting with someone, find out what you have in
common. The mental process will help you get into it. Test
what happens.
2.When you first meet someone, take a few seconds to note
their posture. Let yourself match some aspect of their
posture in one or two areas (i.e. are they slouching or
folding their arms?)
3.When in doubt, assume you have rapport.
4.Practice breaking rapport (For example, by changing the
subject of a conversation to something they might not be
interested in.) and then re-establishing it quickly
afterwards.